cyberpunk-red-archive

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Last cigarette

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The sky probably used to be pitch black before it started being pulled open by ads. Holograms lay upon it like wounds. Every sound, every piece of environment is purely artificial, tainted by years of use, sometimes disrepair, and the sky hums with the low buzzing of air vehicles. A woman reads an ad in Japanese somewhere in the distance, before a funky song starts playing for a couple of seconds. Then it stops, as the noise of traffic and more AVs fill the empty space, until another reading starts. Another woman’s voice warns to report any rogue AI activity to Netwatch. Somewhere on the only street visible below, two men laugh loudly. It’s so restless, yet the restlessness is strangely soothing, as it’s always been.

There’s no place that’s ever felt more at home than the dumps of Night City.

Nights like this always end up tasting like liquor, ash, or sex, eventually. Sometimes, if it’s an especially lucky night, it ends up tasting like all three. Tonight’s far from that, though, and Fin’s smoking the last of his pack, hanging out past the safety railing of a suspended bridge, near its base. He’s got no scratch to spare on anything fun like booze, so he’ll have to deal, and hope that tomorrow’s gig is either his last or a serious payday.

He was supposed to have quit smoking a while back, really. He never used to consider himself a smoker, dropped the damn things for months, ‘till the stress started catching up to him again and suddenly he finds himself indulging once or twice a month. Then all that stress went to shit and now he can hardly be honest when he says he doesn’t smoke. And damn it, it’s an expensive vice, but it keeps him chilled enough to think, at least.

There was once an era of his life when it was an exciting adventure, a statement, the cigarettes were his fucking declaration of war. It’s been a long fuckin’ time since they’ve been anything more than something to scratch the itch, and truth be told, he knows a thing or two ‘bout itches and vices.

It’s been too long since anything new’s happened.

And he knew it would end up being like this.

It always does.

Novelty’s only novel when it’s new. That’s how the song goes, always on repeat.

A trauma team AV hums and buzzes as it passes overhead, with the due warnings following suite. He could’ve been there at some point, just another of the medics on board. The idea seemed exciting once.

Novelty’s only novel when it’s new.

There are very few areas in Fin’s life in which he thrived from consistency. No, he needs the chaos. He needs it in his veins, more and more, like a drug, and the more he lives, the more it loses its taste and he needs more, always more, until it’ll suffocate him.

And small part of him is bitter for it.

Most of him takes another drag of the cigarette.. His last cigarette, it only has another lungful of smoke left in it, probably. Oh, to go out burning. Ain’t that a fun one.

Truth be told, though his hopes are not high, he’s excited for the next gig. Maybe it’ll be worth 404’s secrecy, something actually new, for once. Something worth the effort of holding up the iron. Maybe pulling the trigger will give him that chilling feeling taking a life is supposed to give you. Why doesn’t it anymore?

Well, in hindsight, he’s probably being sabotaged by his own fuckass brain.

He really shouldn’t be smoking.

Good thing it’s the last cigarette, ey?

The hum of AVs is relentless and everpresent. It’s serene, really. Even with all his fucked up moods, there’s this thrilling sense of freedom that always comes with this. With the city.

With all the places he’s been to, all the things he’s got to have, to try there’s still no place that’s ever felt more at home than the dumps of Night City.

And all be damned if he regrets a single thing.

[cyberpunk-red-archive]

There was no clean laundry

And someone thought it would be a funny joke. Someone that isn’t Fin. He didn’t find it all that funny.

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Cornered dog - animated

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Cheers for the last one.

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The calm before the storm

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Flash photography

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Just two friends messing around, I suppose.

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Scalpel - static

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“I honestly feel like shit more often than not these days. Not sure if I’m having an episode or life’s just kicking my ass. Most likely both. And I know the meds aren’t magic, I know I’m supposed to drop drinking and shit, I know I’m making it worse. I know. I do. But at this point, I can’t really be bothered to care. I’ve been digging myself into a hole for a long long time, there’s no way out for me at this point. So why the fuck bother. Might as well make life more tolerable until I flatline on some gig. This was always the point, wasn’t it? That’s what my handle means. I lost sight of it for a while and I was stupid to do so. People are a liability. You either use them, or you lose them”

[cyberpunk-red-archive]

Scalpel

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“I honestly feel like shit more often than not these days. Not sure if I’m having an episode or life’s just kicking my ass. Most likely both. And I know the meds aren’t magic, I know I’m supposed to drop drinking and shit, I know I’m making it worse. I know. I do. But at this point, I can’t really be bothered to care. I’ve been digging myself into a hole for a long long time, there’s no way out for me at this point. So why the fuck bother. Might as well make life more tolerable until I flatline on some gig. This was always the point, wasn’t it? That’s what my handle means. I lost sight of it for a while and I was stupid to do so. People are a liability. You either use them, or you lose them “

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Cornered animal

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Careful. I bite.

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Contemplative menace

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Fin with less clothes than usual, although he’s far from naked lol

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Blonde menace

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Haircut V1

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Talk with a doll, on the house

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Lizzie’s bar: a rather famous (or perhaps infamous, depending on who you ask) brain dance bar. A stronghold of the Moxes, a safe haven for sex workers and maybe just straight up heaven for lonely bastards.

Fin would be lying to himself if he tried to pretend he wasn’t happy to be among the clientele. He’s never been particularly fond of BDs, they’re fun but it doesn’t feel the same, they don’t carry the same thrill. But hell, he had one too many bad hookups, people are shitty and he’s sick of the gamble. At least the recordings in the BDs can see him as a guy. At least they can’t be weird about it.

Still, the point of interest for him isn’t the sex. Well, not tonight, at least. No, tonight he’s seeking out someone in particular. He’s not sure why he’s doing this, he has half a mind to delta back home, but it sort of feels like the leap’s already been made.

He’s chasing rumours, for the most part, rumors of a strip dancer from the bar, an “old fashioned doll”, or so they say. And while this might simply mean that she has a doll chip, Fin’s heard different whispers about her. He’s heard some men talk about her at a bar, recommending her to another for the “rare exotic stuff.” She was born a man, they said. And now that he finds intriguing.

The bar is about as crowded as usual, full of people lost in BDs and private booths with transparent walls full of fancy suits and such. He’s never felt particularly prudish here before, yet now he seems to be overtaken by a sort of nervousness that is foreign to him.

He passes under the neon sign saying “fuck to death”, stopping to gaze at it for a moment beforw he keeps walking. There’s people sitting down along the edge of the hallway, Moxes speaking with each other, or with clients. Some drunk woman is leaning on her friend a bit further down the hall as they rush to the bathroom. Muffled electronic music resonates somewhere farther away.

He spots her sittings down herself, a woman likely near her 30s, with jet black hair, emp threading on her right cheek and an oroboros pendant, just as the men had described her. His heartbeat resonates in his ears. This nervousness doesn’t suit him, this is stupid. This isn’t how he does things like this. His mouth is remarkably dry right now.

He approaches her hesitantly, raising a hand and trying a grin, although he doesn’t quite manage to get it right. She looks at him and raises her eyebrows.

“I’m off the clock, darling,” she sighs, and Fin opens his mouth to reply, but it lingers open for a little too long.

“I’m, uh, you’re Nightingale, right?” he says, and his voice is uncomfortably high pitched and cracks as he says her name.

“Yes hun, but come back in a hour, I’m on my break right now.” She smiles at him politely before she turns her head away.

“No I’m not…” Fin laughs nervously, crouching in front of her. “Um, I don’t mean to bother you, I’m not here for that sory of thing.”

“No need to be shy, just give me a moment to-“

“People say you used to be a man,” Fin blurts out with a low voice, quietly. “Is it true?”

She frowns for a second before her face blanks to a polite smile.

“If that’s of interest to you, we can figure something out after my break.”

“No, I’m just… I never met someone else like this.” Fin mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, and he’s glad for the mirrorshades because he feels like he has little control over his expressions. Nightingale frowns a little, then her eyes widen.

“Oh, honey…” She laughs, pushing herself up. Fin stands up with her. “You’re…?”

Fin nods, throwing a look around him to see if anyone’s nearby. Not that he cares much about who hears, but it’s a gut reaction.

“Let’s find a private booth to talk, shall we?” Nightingale grabs his wrist and leads him to one of the free rooms around them, he follows her wordlessly the door locks behind them, and she turns towards him and gives him a smile while she sits on the bed. Fin instead sits down on the floor, with his legs crossed. He looks at her, and she looks at him, and the silence lingers awkwardly as she laughs quietly and joins him on the floor, leaning on the side of the bed.

“So, which way do you swing, then?” she asks, and a quiet laugh escapes him.

“Ain’t it obvious?”

Nightingale shrugs. “I can’t really tell, so no. You could be going either way.”

“I still look woman enough for people to be weird about it,” Fin says, and she hums in response.

“If it’s any comfort to you, I genuinely wasn't sure before you said so.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Fin mumbles, looking to the side. This is strange and uncomfortable for him. Nightingale is a stranger.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen,” he replies quickly, just to immediately regret surrendering that information so easily.

“Oh, baby, you’re still so young.” Nightingale laughs. “At your age, I hadn’t even thought about transitioning yet. You have so much time ahead of you! Don’t you worry. You on hormones?”

“For a couple of months, yeah.”

“And how is it like?” she asks and Fin isn’t sure what to tell her. There’s a kind of vulnerability he’s experiencing in this room that leaves him open and unguarded, and it feels wrong, it all feels wrong. He breathes in deeply. He breathes out. He needs to get a handle of himself.

“It’s nice…” he says hesitantly. “Makes me feel better about myself. But the side effects are shitty sometimes.”

Nightingale nods. “Yes, it can be like that. It made me feel very bad sometimes. Nauseous, or anxious, headaches at first.”

“What was it like for you? This whole thing, I mean. How did you… know?”

“It was a slow process for me.” She looks to the side, in a reminiscent manner. “I was a sex worker back then too. I’ve always been a flamboyant guy, and I was closer to my girl friends than I ever was to my guy friends. I liked fashion, I liked makeup, but these things didn’t mean something significant to me. I don’t think a guy liking those things makes him a woman, which is why I never questioned it back then. But then I had this client…” she smiles slightly, looking back at him. “Rich man. Corpo, probably. Guy had some… forced feminization kink, I think? Well, I had done weirder for less money, right? But let me tell you, seeing myself in a dress…” she laughs quietly to herself. “I started seeking out more gonks who were into it. It made me ask myself many questions. And it took a lot of thinking, and talking with my girls, but well…” she gestures to herself and smiles wider. “It was worth it. It is worth it. Even with all the bullshit the patrons say about it these days.”

Fin nods, trying to return her smile, be it shakily. They sit for a moment more.

“I’m not sure what I wanted to achieve coming here, honestly.” Fin admits. “But thanks for telling me, I guess.”

“It’s very lonely to be like this.” Nightingale smiles patiently. “Kinship ain’t something you come by easily.”

“And loneliness ain’t something I’m a stranger to.” Fin stretches, leaning back, propped on his arms

“Ain't something you should be friends with either.” She says. Fin shrugs.

“Does it matter?”

“It does.”

The silence lingers for a whole minute. Fin groans and lies down on his back. Staring at the ceiling easier than having to look at Nightingale.

“I’m still not sure about any of it,” he says quietly, almost to himself. “I feel like I’m doing some sort of irreversible mistake. Like I’m fucking up my body, and it won’t fix anything. I don’t like permanent changes but I don’t think I could keep living like I did before.”

“How was it like for you, darling?” Nightingale asks softly.

“I don’t know,” he replies earnestly. “I didn’t… dislike myself necessarily? I was a very pretty girl, I was often told. And I thought I looked nova. But I never really felt like myself, and I thought that was the norm until I started dressing differently and feeling just a little better in my skin. Still miserable, but a bit better. And it caused this sense of despair, because it made me realize that other people didn’t feel how I did, and I’ll never get that, and I’m stuck.”

“Maybe you will get that. What’s to say you won’t.”

“Cuz I’m a coward.” Fin covers his face with his hands. “It feels right to be doing this. It makes me feel better. But I keep feeling like I’m going to regret it, like the novelty will wear off and I’ll be left stranded.”

“We live in Night City, love.” She gets up, walking to sit down by his side. “Nothing has to be permanent, not here. And this thing got no timeline, no rule book. You can figure yourself out. Hell, I myself was afraid at first. I was so scared even when I started hormones. But I’m happier for it, and you say you’re happier for it too.”

“Maybe.” Fin sighs. “Wish there was a rulebook.”

“Don’t we all…” Nightingale giggles. “Let’s exchange contacts. What’s your name, kid? I didn’t even ask you”

“Oh.” Fin gets off his back, looking at her. “It’s Fin.”

“Mine’s Milly.” She smiles widely.

“Not Nightingale?”

“Hun, that’s a stage name,” she laughs. “If you ever wanna talk again, you’re gonna have to talk with Milly, not Nightingale.”

Fin smiles back.

Next >

[cyberpunk-red-archive]

Kei - Character sheet

Kei is a solo - she works with Bugger, her dad, a techie. She values family above all else and believes it her duty to protect the ones she cares about. She’s been holding a gun since she was a young child, and although her dad wasn’t eager to teach her, he ended up doing it anyways, so she doesn’t get hurt trying to teach herself.

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Meet the crew

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Fin - Tech & Medtech

Dumbass idiot borderline suicidal adrenaline junkie rat of a man.

Red - Solo & Officer

A man with a great passion for autofire and surprisingly little chrome for a solo. Although he is working on that.

Facilier - Fixer and Netrunner

The sleezy salesman type, messing around with rogue AIs on his phone. A hoe-less pimp, basically.

Zappa - rockerboy

A great actor, aledgedly. The star of a famous shampoo add, for a horribly bad shampoo that might’ve made Facilier bald. His hair is usually unwashed, so nobody recognizes him. He owns chickens and has a stuffed horse in his bedroom. Nobody really knows what’s up with him, including himself. He’s a force of chaos.

Oh right he also stole a protogen’s helmet that he uses as armor

Billy - Tech

An NPC, and basically Red’s adopted child. Well he’s not a child anymore and neither is he very human looking. He used to be, before the protogen whoses visor Zappa stole got his hands on him to train him as a tech. Safe to say he’s an exotic now.

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Fin - Character sheet

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So let’s settle this right outer the gate, Fin is a trans man. However, the name Fin is more tied to personal symbolism than his gender. So even back when he identified as a woman, he had the same name.

[ Fin means Finale. ]

Fin begun his edgerunner career as a medtech, doing random gigs for whoever would pay. During his beginnings, he befriended and later joined an edgerunner duo mafe of Kei and Bugger, a solo and a techie. Bugger taught him tech things, which later became his main focus.

After “falling apart” with them, he wondered aimlessly for a while, doing whatever gigs his fixer got him, until he met his next crew.

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Lue - character sheet

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Lue Even

The midddle daughter of the Even family, Lue has never been a very appealing progidy

[ Early life]

As a kid, it was hard for her to befriend other children, because she didn't particularly like any of them. She's always been somewhat antisocial, having a hard time connecting with and understanding her peers. She's never really had anything deeper than surface level friendships or formed very strong attachments. The adults in her life somewhat enabled this due to het academic prowess, which only solidified to her that she's "other" from her peers, better than them.

[ Teenage years ]

Lue always joined her middle and highschool classmates drinking, smoking, partying. Being in a fancy private highschool, she got to try some pretty expensive drugs early on

Due to her academic success, she got to skip a year and get into med school at 17. The parties drug and sex escapades truly escalated here. She started developing bipolar disorder around her late teens, 17-ish, which lead to a prolonged period of mania which and therefore increasingly erratic troublesome behaviour.

[ History of erratic behaviour ]

During an important exec's birthday, she got in a fight with her parents because she was drinking too much champagne. She started throwing glasses at them (crystal, expensive glasses) and yelling. Security tried to escort her out, and she bit into a man's hand. She yelled profanities the whole time. As punishment, she was under 24/7 surveillance for a month. She managed to escape it once, to sneak out to a party.

Out of frustration for not being permitted to get involved with anything mechanics related, she stole one of her father's fancy cars from the garage. She unintentionally crashed it almost right out the gate, and was therefore never permitted to learn how to drive.

During a party, she got black out drunk, and didn't sleep all night. The next morning, she took an anatomy exam at uni, and somehow passed. She was still drunk, and doesn't remember taking it. Her parents were pissed about the bad grade.

During a different party, she made out with a girl's boyfriend. Upon finding out, the girl confronted her at yet another party. They had a bad physical fight which ended up with one of Lue's molars being knocked out and her nose being broken.

[History of self destructive behaviour]

Lue tends to engage in cutting herself, especially since starting med school. She quickly escalated in severity, her worst cuts went to muscle. She took pictures and notes, curious on how her body actually looks on the inside. Her main motivation is curiosity and fascination.

She has tried overdosing on her brother's sleeping pills, to see if she'll survive.

She tried to take an exact dose, but didn't take enough. Nobody knows she did this, although they did figure she stole sleeping pills.

Lue has cut her veins in the bathtub. She wanted to make sure there's a possibility of survival, so she left the door unlocked. Her sister found her, and she was brought back by trauma team. She was thrilled to know that she actually did die,

Lue has played russian roulette every opportunity she got at parties, whenever they had access to a gun that would make that possible.

[ Fallout ]

After she almost died as a result of it, she was sectioned, forced to see a psychologist and diagnosed with bipolar. She vehemently refused to be medicated. Rumours about her admission to a psych institution and her self harm spread in her university, which made her hate her time there too.

Lue ran away from home a while after turning 18. Her whereabouts are unknown.

[ Relationships ]

Falcon Nixton - trough an arrangement between two influencing families, she got together with Falcon, the heir son of a pharmaceutical company who specializes in but doesn't limit itself to manufacturing imunosupressants. They never particularly liked each other, their relationship was not exclusive, but they tolerated each other. Lue only liked his company when it came to sex.

Colt Even (father) - a somewhat cold relationship that she never really cared for.

Astra Even (mother) - Lue was closer with her mother than with her father, but their relationship was still underlined by tension. Lue never felt understood by Astra, she felt like her mother's love was fully conditional, and while they did have nice moments, Lue gave up on their connection when she decided that Astra would never love anything but the perfect version she wanted to see and have.

Nova Even (older sister) - Nova and Lue were always close growing up. Nova was her closest friend, her confidant, the person she could bitch to about their parents.

When Nova was a teenager, Lue caught her sneaking cigarettes, and promised not to tell. When Lue grew older, Nova returned the favor by covering for her when she left for parties. This quickly got out of hand, Lue became impossible to control and while Nova stopped covering for her for a bit, she resumed it just to avoid the fights. Lue was gonna sneak out regardless, nothing anyone could do.

Nova felt like she was responsible for how Lue ended up, and she feels guilty over her running away. Nova is looking for Lue, not specifically intending to bring her back to her family, but just to check on her. She has plenty money to spare and is willing to go out by herself looking for her, if she gets a lead.

Haze Even (younger brother) - Haze was always the golden child, the heir of the family, despite being the youngest. He was always spoiled and Lue strongly dislikes him. He sees Lue as a failure, and currently considers she's probably dead somewhere.

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Patching up the (not) child

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A rocket to the chest doesn’t do anybody any favors. Bandages for the cuts cream for the burns and vodka for the pain. As the team’s Medtech, one would suppose Fin is speaking from experience. Yes the Vodka IS inside the sippy cup.

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Patching up the child

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Yes, Billy is was a child. Yes he is a sergal. Yes furries are canon in cyberpunk. Exotics 5ever