dead-since-the-beginning

[dead-since-the-beginning]

i haven’t decided how yet but i know this is my fault somehow

[dead-since-the-beginning]

avpd culture is losing my entire fucking mind when my partner is active but hasn’t said good morning yet. yes i could text them first however i will NOT be doing that because what if that is the last straw that makes them realize they’ve hated me the entire time

~

[dead-since-the-beginning]

im fucking disgusting what is wrong with me

[dead-since-the-beginning]

its also like. it could not even be them that sent that submission and im losing my shit for nothing. but between the emojis & typing style and the fact that they liked the post…

[dead-since-the-beginning]

this relationship will last for the rest of my life because i will simply kill myself if they break up with me. like ideally we get married and grow old together and then i die. but if not i will be throwing myself off a bridge immediately because i refuse to live without them 🫶

[dead-since-the-beginning]

being a fictive is dumb as hell. like.

i kinda never got over when i split really badly on my fp a long time ago and its making me feel insecure and overreact to small things in my relationship now <- normal statement

the fp in question was satoru gojo from jujutsu kaisen <- girl what the fuck

[dead-since-the-beginning]

BPD culture is hating all of your FPs friends.

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[dead-since-the-beginning]

teen idle - marina

[dead-since-the-beginning]

hm. unfortunate typo

i feel like my body’s always one step behind. like my brain knows everything is (probably) fine but i’m still shaky and nauseous and my heat is pounding and it feels like the world is ending. i wish i didn’t react so strongly to the smallest things

[dead-since-the-beginning]

i’m not sure what’s worse, the personality disorder or the shame that comes after the symptoms have passed

[dead-since-the-beginning]

god i’m so fucking pathetic

[dead-since-the-beginning]

oughhh i dont know what im doing what if i make it worse

[dead-since-the-beginning]

i feel like my body’s always one step behind. like my brain knows everything is (probably) fine but i’m still shaky and nauseous and my heat is pounding and it feels like the world is ending. i wish i didn’t react so strongly to the smallest things

[dead-since-the-beginning]

they are active on tumblr and haven’t texted me good morning yet. so that means they want me to kill myself probably

[dead-since-the-beginning]

BPD culture is hating a specific thing with a burning passion becauss your partner likes it too much and spends too much time on it and not enough with you

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[dead-since-the-beginning]

im just overthinking right? they’re probably just busy right? they dont secretly hate me?

[dead-since-the-beginning]

again this is a free invitation to talk about your experiences