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Dadstiel Grief Analysis: Castiel vs Jack (Part 1)

Special thanks to @angelfishofthelord and @killianmesmalls for helping me out! Please if I’m using anyone’s gifs in this article. let me know so I can credit you.

*Warning there will be some criticisms in here*

I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile and I felt like in the true Holiday Spirit of things that this was the perfect time to discuss another aspect about this wonderful father/son dynamic. FYI I was listening to The Famous Final Scene by Bob Seger, featured in 15x01 when Castiel carries Jack’s body through the cemetery, to keep me in the mood writing this. For those of you curious I did a shoulder touch analysis covering the connection between these two and how they demonstrate their affection through physical communication. This time I’m going much deeper; into the depths of Castiel and Jack’s love for each other through pain, fear and especially grief. And yes, this is going to get very angsty and heavy so buckle up as this will be a very special exploration of these characters.

Reviewing these last three seasons of Supernatural and carefully analyzing this duo, I realized some things about them that would probably be lost on the average viewer. And that is just how much they both really love each other. While the scripts most of the time lack substance; there is one other element that can always be counted on. Alexander Calvert and Misha Collins say a lot with just their eyes. Their quiet nuances and subtilties give these characters so much heart and soul, telling the entire story between Castiel and Jack within the expressions they emote at one another or for themselves.

There are similarities and differences in the way that these two deals with pain, sadness, regret and hopelessness. Hard to believe they’re not biologically related because they’re most certainly cut from the same cloth. Before I split this topic into two sections focusing on each character, I want to talk about episode 15x15 to kick things off.

Gimme Shelter was a whole lot of fun wasn’t it? This is the first time we got to see Cas and Jack hold their own as heroes of the hour. Wearing those handsome color coordinated suits, trench coats and ties. Being awkwardly adorable, bonding together over a human oriented crime case and just genuinely enjoying each others company. It’s such a shame we didn’t get more episodes on the show like this because these two really light up the screen together. Well, I hate to do this but, did you know there’s a more tragic underline within that episode? Oh yes, once you peel back that onion its not hard to see how heartbreaking the story actually is.

It is essentially about a dying son trying to figure out the best way to say goodbye to his father; which is already difficult considering the fact that they were just reunited four episodes earlier. 15x15 is literally designed as Jack’s Last Supper. He’s doing things throughout the episode that hinder a dark secret he’s hiding from his loved ones. And we as the audience aren’t aware of this until the final Dadstiel scene in the car.

Right from the beginning Jack is carrying out some of his bucket list, eager to do random a hunt with Cas. Dress like him. Pose as an FBI agent with him. Summon a demon together. Join social media with his dad’s permission. Volunteer in a soup kitchen as part of their cover. Breaking into an apartment together. Helping troubled individuals. Doing small good deeds in the world and activities that allow Jack to spend as much quality time with Castiel, as he is his most important relationship. And I also look at this as them making up for Castiel not being allowed to celebrate his son’s 3rd birthday which I greatly take offense about.

I won’t go into it full here yet but Jack’s devotion towards his dad is a very complex issue that I will discuss during his segment of the analysis. Castiel even admits “its complicated” to Pastor Joe. What it comes down to is that much as Jack’s completely open, trusting and comfortable with Cas; there is a barrier he tends to put up between them intentionally. An invisible wall that the angel feels but can’t quite get past. And this causes Jack to mask a lot of his feelings towards his dad; coming off as an unappreciative kid who seemingly prefers his hunting idols the Winchesters instead.

This episode not only highlights just how close the angel/Nephilim duo is but also how much Jack truly admires and loves his father. He struggles so much inside with wanting to be honest about his secret; wanting absolution from his family, desperately seeking redemption for Mary as the guilt is constantly eating at him every day that he balances his light-hearted front.

Meanwhile Castiel is revaluating his relationship with his son and comes to his own cognizance during their father/son outing. Finally, he has that long-awaited revelation about his life and how Jack has changed him forever for the better. As I mentioned earlier about his conversation with Pastor Joe, a man estranged from his very troubled daughter, when asked if he had kids; the angel’s response is pretty dispirited. Because for the most part its true. I mean you can define that scene in a lot of ways seeing as they’re supposed to be undercover but the truth is its very complicated between Cas and Jack.

And it’s been like this since their first personal encounter in 13x06. Or before that, since they’d first connected with each other through Kelly in 12x19 when Jack imprinted on Castiel. There is no doubt the everlasting love the angel feels towards his son. He proved during Season 14 the lengths he would go to protect Jack from the angels, from the Empty, from death and also from the Winchesters. That child means the world to him. At the same time though they are not without their familial angst.

During the faith group scene when Pastor Joe asks Jack to give his personal testimony, the young Nephilim stumbles. He’s not quite ready to share his demons with total strangers; afraid of more judgement as it is. And his dad is also looking on in the background creating more pressure. Castiel immediately senses his son’s stress going through the roof and decides to speak in his place. Vaguely revealing details about his past that he’d never mentioned out loud to anyone let alone Jack. And I absolutely love this scene so much. It’s so beautifully acted and poised. The chemistry between these two throughout the whole episode and this scene in general is just remarkably exceptional. Misha delivers that dialogue with so much tenderness and sorrow yet its brimming with hope.

Alex does this particular thing with his eyes where he has Jack give Castiel this soft look every time he’s speaking; the whites are glistened and half-lidded very wistful yet thoughtful like he’s seeing right into his dad’s angelic essence. Blinking every once in a while, not missing a single moment; just absorbing and holding onto every word. Jack’s in complete awe of his dad, comforted by his gentle gruff voice and warm presence. The way he gazes at him is just so loving, attentive and curious to learn more about his dad’s background. This is a bright acting decision on Alex’s part as it displays Jack’s affection for Castiel openly though quietly. And this is what I mean by when the actor gives more than what’s written in the script.

Castiel’s speech is fundamentally a declaration of love for his son. He’s not speaking to the group he’s talking directly to Jack; evident in how often they exchange glances. Telling him that before he came into his life the angel was broken, lost, lonely and morally compromised. That his faith had dissolved so badly over the years he felt he had nothing except the next mission. He couldn’t look beyond the plan laid out for him because he was created categorically to be only a dutiful solider of Heaven first and nothing more. Just a disposable tool on the battlefield. And this infused him with so much sadness, regret and remorse for past sins that he nearly gave up on himself. Cas wasn’t supposed to have emotions, free will or a choice yet he defied all the celestial rules thanks in partial to his friendship with Sam and Dean. He was a rebel. But it was Jack who became the missing piece of his puzzle.

Through raising the infant Nephilim, Castiel discovered a greater, selfless love unlike anything he’s ever experienced. Devotion so pure and limitless that it healed him from the inside out. It restored Castiel’s faith, gave him hope, renewed his purpose and helped him realize his own identity. That he is a solider but no longer a soldier first. He’s a father to a son who loves and depends on him more than anyone ever has and that gives Cas a sense of accomplishment, worthiness and pride in himself. Up until Kelly Kline walked into the angel’s peripheral, he never saw his life as significant only a means to an end. As a warrior of Heaven, he was trained to accept his expendability and die by the sword. But in gaining a newfound sense of humanity, the angel’s world views were altered. And I will argue that NO ONE has taught Castiel more about love than Jack. The bond between a parent and their child is something so profound and impenetrable there is no perfect way to describe it.

While Castiel is finishing his speech, he exchanges meaningful looks with Jack; who knows he’s been talking to him the whole time. His eyes and body language say it all. There’s this lingering anguish when his half-smile fades glancing at the floor because after listening to his father’s ardent words, he can’t keep up the lie anymore. It hurts worse than the thought of breaking Castiel’s heart with the truth. And this is a testament of the trust and honesty in their relationship. Jack does not like lying to Castiel anymore than he desires causing him pain. Even when he hid his sickness and the use of his powers from his dad in Season 14 you can tell he agonized about it based on the way Alex portrays Jack’s inner turmoil. It’s actually quite similar to Misha’s handling of Castiel. And in the group scene its as though Jack is quietly having this hard epiphany, inspired by Cas’s testimony.

So, when it turns out the Sylvia, Pastor Joe’s daughter, is the murderer the angel/Nephilim duo had been tracking; everything comes to a head for these characters. Cas, constantly reminded of his deal with the Empty, realizes he needs and wants to be more involved in his son’s life while they have time. Sensing that barrier getting higher between them the longer he ignores it. And Jack comprehends that he needs to at last come clean with his dad regardless of what it might do to their relationship later.

The conversation they have in the car is gloomily atmospheric, grounded and carefully split into Castiel and Jack’s individual perspectives. You have Jack wrestling with the fact that he’s about to tell his father he’s dying and Castiel trying to figure out a way around his son’s wall without being too evasive. You see what I mean when I say this episode is a tragedy?

I get knots in my stomach watching Castiel sadly glancing over at Jack, looking equally bleak, while he’s driving. Then gently inquires why he’d struggled to speak to the group. You’ll notice that Jack can barely bring himself to look at his dad while they’re talking and his voice is hollow; unusual for him since he always gives Cas his undivided attention during their conversations. Perpetually staring at his feet, passenger window or at the windshield. A very clear indication that Jack is terrified of hurting Castiel more than he’s already been hurt.

As he’d previously explained to Sylvia, Jack can’t bear letting his family down. It’s killing him knowing how much his dad already suffered through two of his deaths and now he has to tell him he’ll relive that pain all over. Basically, robbing his dad of that joy, he felt, when they were reunited in that church. And its easy-to-understand Jack being so torn between causing his father more pain and wanting absolution from the Winchesters for accidentally killing Mary.

The reason Jack accepts his death so plainly is that he feels it’s the only way to atone for what he’s done. Which is causing a ripple effect of grief between him and his father. I said this might come across as thoughtless arrogance towards Cas’s feelings on the matter and it is, but Jack despises himself so much for doing it. He truly loves his dad more than anyone in the world. His love for him transcended the loss of his soul; which is why having this difficult talk on the way home is worse than dying for him.

Strong as Jack’s devotion for Castiel is, it can’t shake his desire to appease Sam and Dean and that is his major character flaw. He’s a child taking on an Atlas mountain of responsibilities as any adult would within a suicidal mindset. Of course, this does not bode well for Jack when Cas is immediately hysterical with confusion, anger and despair at the idea of losing his son again. This is the equivalent of someone ripping his heart out of his chest and kicking it into a blackhole. Yah the visual is gruesome but it’s the truth.

I marvel at Misha’s reactions to Alex in this scene. He authentically captures any parent’s greatest fear which is outliving their child. In my soul I feel those expressions of pain, desperation and stubbornness whirling in those blue eyes; and the subtle teeth gnashing and lip snarls greatly compliment the anguish Castiel is emoting as he listens to Jack’s explanation. You get the impression part of him wants to pull that truck over and smash something; scream, breakdown just let everything out. Cause once again the universe is mocking him.

Just when Cas had gotten Jack back after grieving him for months. After giving up everything to protect that child; sacrificed so much to ensure the life of the one person most precious to him. Death herself sees fit to take that away again and his son is a willing participant. This to me is what makes this scene so memorable and emotional; you can easily relate to both sides. And its arguably one of the best Dadstiel scenes in the show; featuring top teer performances from both Alex and Misha I mean this is heart-wrenching stuff. I bawl my eyes out every time I watch it.

For me the most bittersweet part about this scene is the shoulder touch. When Castiel declares his refusal to watch Jack die a 3rd time, his son so overwhelmed from the pain tries to console him while maintaining a firm stance in his decision. And Alex is simply stunning in how he does this, with that shiny gaze and child-like bottom lip quiver as though he’s on the verge of sobbing.

Jack’s heart is shattered watching Castiel in agony; aware that his confession has wounded his dad so deep he then turns away in shame. And we’re left with this wondering of what happened next. Did Castiel ground Jack for lying when they got home before telling Sam and Dean anything? Did they stop somewhere so Castiel could have a second alone to process the bomb his son just dropped? This episode has so much more packed into it than just cute humor and adorable father/son moments. It’s very Shakespearean level tragic which is precisely while I recognize 15x15 to be the best episode of Supernatural season 15.

Now that I’ve gone over the appetizer portion, its time to dig into the meat and bones of this analysis. The thing about discussing a character’s grief is its not as simple as just talking about one episode or a specific scene where they experienced tremendous loss. Particularly if it involves an important relationship between two characters. Grief relates to love. And you have to go back to the beginning of that connection and re-examine who these characters were/are and how they came to regard and care for one another. I’ll start with the trench-coat wearing angel himself. A character I’ve loved since the moment he graced my screen back in 4x01.

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Part 1: Castiel

Described by Ishim as “a warrior and an angel’s angel” in 12x10. Before he was humanized, Castiel was no different than any other ruthless, self-righteous soldier of Heaven. In fact, he was unrecognizable in the past and not just because he wore a female vessel at one point. His principles were strict and straight-forward; following orders without question or reason. And he took his sacred oath seriously especially when it came to the rule of Nephilim. Ironically Castiel was never a fan of the angel hybrid species. His prejudice of them kind of resembles a similar fear that Mary had of him and other angels expressed in a flashback during 14x18.

And killing a Nephilim wouldn’t be new to him either seeing as he’d already done it in 8x22. Like his brothers and sisters, Castiel viewed Nephilim as dangerous abominations which must be exterminated in order to keep entire worlds from dying. Startling perspective when you think about the person he is now and how much he loves Jack who is a Nephilim.

Season 12 was a very compelling year for Castiel, coming off the Darkness arc in Season 11, as its springboards him into his most critical solo storyline in the show. His 100th episode just happens to be the season finale aka Jack’s birthday. We also get to delve deeper into his past and learn some unexpected things about the angel like his celestial mafia ties, greatest transgressions and contrition. And how much he yearns to have a purpose either than just being the Winchesters’ occasional tag-along. It’s the year Castiel gets to grow and come into his own as a character after nine seasons, yah sometimes it feels longer. And the writing for the most part could’ve been done better in some areas but I’ll take what I can get.

Anyway, the moment Castiel feels Jack being conceived during 12x08 you know something big is looming on the horizon. Yet it doesn’t start to take shape until episode 12x10 when his past with a vengeful human woman, Lily Saunder mysteriously gifted in Enochian and angel magics that keep her young, comes to the forefront.

Unknowingly Lily is destined to be Castiel’s mirror into his future. She’s not just a person he wronged over a hundred years ago, she’s someone who’s shoes he ends up walking more than a mile in. To refresh everyone’s memory of the situation, Castiel and his past battalion were sent to dispatch a Nephilim child. Problem was that Lily’s daughter wasn’t a Nephilim; rendering her brutal assassination senseless and born out of the spite Ishim felt towards Akobel for marrying the human he became obsessed with. As fate would have it Castiel’s role in the unjust killing of Lily’s family is ultimately what sets things in stone for him. The turning point. This episode is full of foreshowing, from the start where Castiel is standing at the backboard trying to track Kelly’s movements to Dean’s warnings about “cosmic consequences” for killing Billie to his past with Ishim and Lily.

And interesting symbolism that the writers chose to have Castiel appear in a female form since mothers are the nurturers of their children. So, this helps him to see a little through Kelly and Lily’s eyes; identify with them to a certain degree. However, we know next to nothing about the lady he previously possessed. Not even her real name or why he chose leave her vessel. I’m assuming she must’ve had a family herself no different than his current vessel Jimmy Novak. A complication he most likely wanted to avoid dealing with. But because Jimmy was willing to stick with Cas it resulted in the destruction of the Novak family which to this day he refers to as his greatest regret. Another reason why causing harm to the Saunders would inevitably curse and bless the angel.

I get chills even now watching that last scene with Lily where Castiel admits to never imagining the pain of losing a child. Because that’s exactly what he’s in for someday. TWICE in fact; three times if you count him being forced to smite that demon possessing Jack’s corpse in Season 15. And it wouldn’t be pain over losing just any ordinary child, but the most powerful Nephilim child that ever existed. And son of an archangel who inflicted more bodily harm and trauma on Castiel than any other being in the universe. Poetically the very thing he was trained to despise and destroy in the past is to become his greatest love whom he will protect above all.

Jack in a twisted way represents Castiel’s karma as much as he’s the best gift that ever happened to him. The angel’s penance for taking part in a horrific mission which he’d come to later regret. Taking an innocent life then being responsible for another one in return. Lily didn’t need to kill Castiel to make him suffer or feel her anger and misery as he’s already on that collision course to endure it. But also to discover a kind of love that he never thought possible. Choosing the path of chasing Kelly and her unborn son is what leads Castiel down to his final destination in the series. And as beautiful as fatherhood is its not without its share of sadness as much as it is pure happiness.

Fast-forward through season 13 to 14, Castiel and Jack are closer than ever that year. In my last analysis I covered all the ways the angel parents his son in a near perfect balance between compassion, affection, discipline and strength. But Jack struggling with the aftereffects of having his grace stolen by his biological father, living out an excruciating human existence, presents some assorted trauma for Castiel that he isn’t use to. Usually known for his stoic, reserved demeanor the angel tends to keep his emotions in check. A lot. Burying his true feelings deep inside himself to focus on the bigger picture; guess that’s the old soldier wiring.

His concern for his human best friends the Winchesters is great though nothing is far greater to him than the well-being of his son. Even the common cold, and I know it was more severe than that, or a spontaneous visit with the grandparents gets Cas jumpy. He’s very protective of Jack yet not combative or overbearing. He’s just being a dad and a very good one that administers his son with proper domestic stability.

Castiel takes care of Jack and provides all the necessary needs that any child requires; like making him soup when he isn’t feeling well, buying him clothes and stuffed animals, being there when he needs to talk and entertaining him as he did during their infamous 15x12 Connect-Four showdown. He even knows Jack’s favorite genre of movies. Generally making sure his son is happy and healthy. Bonus points for Cas holding Jack’s arm while he tries to heal him too.

Being a father becomes such an important part of his identity, he values and treasures those responsibilities. And wouldn’t trade a single moment with his son for all the battles in Heaven. He wouldn’t even trade the pain that comes with being a parent as shown in 14x07 and 14x08 which I personally prefer calling Two-Hours of Castiel’s Silent Suffering. While those episodes try to focus mainly on Sam and Dean’s anguish over Jack’s deteriorating health, with their angel bestie stubbornly stuck as their rock, significant things about Cas get lost in the mix. Like how he deals with his grief. And how much his son means to him.

If you paid close attention to the parts in the hospital, Castiel is firmly at Jack’s side. Almost the entire time. And if he can’t be near him in person, he’s guarding over him protectively. Trying to keep his spirits up while his emotions run wild inside him.

The angel is a busybody. He has to continuously move around and distract himself with tasks in order not to dwell on the severity of a situation. When it’s brought to his attention how sick his son is during 14x07; Castiel bottles all his fear, sorrow and helplessness in order to find solutions that will save him. He doesn’t permit himself to falter or show any trace of his torment in the presence of his friends who both completely fall apart. He doesn’t even get to cry despite the fact that this is his child whom Kelly entrusted him with. It breaks my heart watching Castiel so alone in his pain, no one to comfort him, no one caring enough to ask how he’s handling everything. He’s just his own company.

I think Rowena was probably the only person made aware of Castiel’s suffering given her reaction when he insisted Jack take his grace. Then again, she did credit only the Winchesters’ parenting of Jack so…I’m undecided here.

By the way Jack never notices that moment where his dad’s heart literally sinks watching him leave to spend his last few happy minutes with Dean. I just can’t imagine what that did to Cas. I mean look at this, look at his face! Speechless. It’s like a wounded puppy who’s just been run over by the impala. In my humble opinion Dean was an insensitive prick during this scene though not anymore than Sam is later. I get he was trying to help Jack but come on dude, how are you that oblivious to the guy in front of you who’s actually that kid’s freaking dad? He’s dying inside over there dammit! I want someone to go hug him badly.

So, while Dean and Jack go off on their merry adventure, Castiel is left at the bunker with Sam and Rowena; who are all hard at work searching for ways to help the ailing Nephilim. The angel goes as far as tracking down Sergei, a shady Russian shaman, who may have the answer to his problem. And this brings to me to the saddest most underrated moment in the entire episode that I am certain just went over people’s heads.

No, I’m not alluding to when Castiel got so choked up talking about his son dying he nearly lost his shit. I’m talking the part before that where he’s about to leave the bunker to seek out Sergei until Sam stops him. Do you see his expression, gazing downward and lips parted melancholically; its expectant. Anticipating as to whether or not his friend is going to offer him some shred of support that he’s been giving the Winchesters the whole episode.

Instead of seizing the opportunity to reassure the angel, who’s absolutely devastated over Jack, Sam thinks its more important to inquire if he should see the shaman alone? Are you freaking kidding me? And Cas’s face afterwards is priceless, he can’t even believe it. Props to Misha’s acting in this moment I felt all of Castiel’s disappointment and discouragement. Rolling his eyes annoyedly and releasing this heavy sigh before slipping back on that reserved mask to give Sam his full attention. He knows this character so well and knows exactly how to react when someone’s being an ass towards him even if its not done on purpose.

Anyway, they have their nice little Jack talk, Cas once again contributing his condolences, which somehow turns into being all about Dean’s pain; big shocker. And Castiel without being subtle drops the biggest hint as to how much his son’s fragile state has been affecting him which doesn’t even compute with Sam in the slightest.

Then he pauses a second for Sam to say something reassuring and again NOTHING. Prompting Cas to leave immediately. I can’t tell you how much watching that hurts every time. Seeing someone in so much pain, being everyone else’s shoulder, getting nothing in return for it. Sometimes I just don’t know how I feel about the Winchesters when it comes to things like this, I don’t think its in their nature to be an actual friend to somebody who isn’t them. They’re far too self-involved.

Castiel meets Sergei and is given some of Gabriel’s archangel grace that might help cure Jack’s illness. At a cost but its not mentioned as to what the shaman wants yet just that the angel will be owing him a favor in return. So, we’re left with this ominous vibe that something is about to go wrong.

He brings back the solution to the bunker where Jack and everyone are waiting. And seriously when have you ever seen Cas look this scared out of his mind? He’s praying inside for a miracle to save his son. At first things seem like they’re going to work out for TFW until the Nephilim’s body instantly rejects the grace and he faints.

This sends Castiel further over the edge into desperation; calling Sergei and threatening his life. His composure rapidly slipping, losing patience; giving into all those fearful emotions he’d been bottling away. And the thing is this anxiety he’s experiencing right now is rainbows and flower gardens compared the Hell in store for him in Season 15.

By the end of 14x07 Rowena tells the boys to make Jack comfortable as he dies and Castiel is noticeably reeling in the background. Non-verbally conceding his failure to save the person he loves most in the world which is destroying him. You can practically see Cas picturing Kelly in his mind as he watches their son breathe his last breath. Cursing himself for being unable to keep his promise. The cycle of agony ushers on in 14x08 beginning with Jack’s death and Cas doesn’t even get to be beside him when this happens. Doesn’t get to say goodbye. Sam gets that honor while the angel is yet again moved out of range to comfort one of his friends.

But he is at the very least allowed time alone with his son’s body. My heart jumps in my throat as he picks up that picture frame of Kelly next to Jack’s bed and clutches it. Staring off into space. He just can’t fathom the loss that he’s feeling right now, like a knife in his chest. None of it feels real. He refuses to let go of his son even after he’s already gone.

And here’s something else I’ve paid attention to when it comes to Cas’s humanity; he doesn’t like expressing too much of it front of anyone. Hence his docile grumpiness. Except when he’s alone or with Jack; like every single time they’ve hugged or had their emotional talks. You can argue he shows it around Sam and Dean too. There was that time in 5x18 where Cas’s anger got the better of him and he went ballistic on Dean in that alley; unknowingly watching porn in front of the Winchesters in 6x10 and his craziness in Season 7 after taking away Sam’s torment of Hell. But there’s still so much he keeps hidden from his friends and other angels.

His emotions and ugly feelings are mostly private. This is why we’ve never really seen him shed tears onscreen until 15x18. He’s pretty well self-contained. Not uncommon for those suffering from mental conditions like PTSD and depression. If you really think about it Castiel is a fairly tragic figure.

Easily the saddest image in this episode is definitely when he’s towering over Jack’s bedside holding the picture of his mother in his hands; looking so gutted. This is the moment when you know that part of Cas died along with his child. I commend all of Misha’s subtle performances in these episodes. He gives Castiel so much depth into his pain, tapping into places that hurt the soul; these aren’t one-note expressions guys. He’s just struggling between letting out his hurt and keeping it mostly enclosed for the sake of his sanity and out of respect to his friends.

And then this is followed by him gloomily walking through the bunker alone, slouch-postured, thinking about Jack and wrestling with his torment when he’s interrupted by Sam’s abrupt departure.

Loyal friend that he is, Castiel tells Dean about his brother and the two of them go after him. When they find Sam, he reveals to have been attempting to chop some logs for a hunter’s funeral they’re planning for Jack. And the brothers have an emotional moment while Castiel is just wading in the background consumed with grief.

So much so he can’t stay quiet any longer and breaks into the conversation with his own personal feelings about Jack’s death. Behaving as if he hasn’t let it fully settle in. That line where Cas talks about his son being taken before him, delivered in a tone of disbelief, still gets me every time. That’s an authentic parent’s response to the losing their kid. I mean look at how much this man is hurting. This is the worst pain he’s ever had to live with and NO ONE cares. Neither Sam or Dean ever think to console the angel and this moment was so obvious that he needed it.

Nah, they’d rather get skunked through the night in honor of Jack before they have his funeral. And I have to say this part of the episode is the cringiest. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it either. But it doesn’t even feel like I’m watching the characters anymore but some goofy J2M outtakes; pulling me right out of the episode. They’re laughing, drinking, and eating Jack’s favorite chocolate bars, nougat; listening to the sounds of The Allman Brothers Band’s Please Call Home. Like I cannot understand why they did this montage or did it like this because it doesn’t fit the tone of the episode and everyone mainly Castiel is acting OOC.

There he was on the verge of inner collapse after losing his child, tormented he failed the mother of that child and now he’s giddied to celebrate his loss? I could try to rationalize his behavior as another front to avoid his grief but this just doesn’t feel or resemble anything like Castiel. Especially not when you consider the way he handles Jack’s second death in Season 15. The scene is way too light-hearted and carries on longer than it actually should’ve.

Skipping ahead, Castiel returns to Heaven to find Jack because he and the Winchesters now have a plan to bring him home. And along the way he discovers that the Empty has angrily invaded Heaven; searching for the Nephilim. Half of me is stumped as to why the trio didn’t think of this plan sooner and bypass all the drama, heartbreak and the silly montage. But then we wouldn’t have some of the most heartwarming Dadstiel scenes in Season 14, like Cas’s cute laugh of joy before he hugs Jack who’s equally happy to see him. These two were glowing in that scene.

And later when he’s trying to protect the Klines from the Empty, so I can’t complain too much. I guess I’m the type that wants the writing to make sense, and yes this is Supernatural you can’t always count on that.

In my opinion I found 14x08 to be weaker than 14x07 in terms of quality but it does have one winning factor and that is all the scenes between Castiel, Jack and Kelly in Heaven. The chemistry between these three is mind-blowing they actually feel like a genuine family unit. Hard to believe this is the only time these characters get to interact together in the whole series.

I want to save some of the episode’s talking points I have planned for Jack’s section of the analysis since there’s so much to unpack for both these characters. So, I’ll just quickly jump into Castiel’s deal.

What I find so moving about that moment is seeing him lying on the floor, beaten, watching Kelly and Jack get smacked around by the Empty; trying to come to his defense. Once he witnesses his son being strangled, that’s the last straw. Cas, seeing red now, picks himself up off the floor. Unable to stomach the thought of losing Jack all over again let alone living without him. And feeling so determined yet overwhelmingly anguished is compelled to make a difficult choice.

A choice that he never imagined making for anyone in his millions of years in existence and 11-year stint on the show. Without hesitation Castiel gives up his life and happiness so that the Empty can’t ever claim Jack’s soul. This is the ultimate sacrifice born out of pure selfless love and devotion. Another reminder of what any good parent would do for their child and that is lay down their own life to save them.

This is probably Castiel and Supernatural Season 14’s most defining moment as it sets the stage for the last act of the show. In that deal alone the angel’s fate is sealed and we’re left with this unsettling notion that all bets are off. He can be taken away at any minute, when we least expect it. But that’s not the only thing this deal does; it further fleshes out Cas’s new motivations as a character and solidifies his relationship with Jack. Telling the audience that his son and the love he has for him will always come first no matter the circumstances. A very powerful message about good fathers and their children; something we rarely see in film and media these days. And the acting during this entire sequence is outstanding; Misha, Alex and Courtney, everyone is at their best. But like I said I don’t want to get too deep here and save some of it for Jack’s part.

If you thought after this incident things would go back to the way they were, you’re dead wrong. Neither of these characters are ever the same after the events of 14x08. Jack is extremely worried and guilt-ridden over his dad’s deal while Castiel is practically walking on eggshells making certain his son doesn’t ever use his powers because the result will burn away his soul. And that’s all thanks to the Winchesters’ great resurrection spell. So, the angelic father/son duo have quite the dilemma to work around. Of course, we already know that no matter what these characters do they can’t resist their destiny; especially Jack. Likewise, the angel is more stubborn than ever to keep his child from losing himself; even if it means he has to keep his friends in the dark to see it through.

Try as he might though, Castiel’s efforts to prevent the occurrences in the next couple episodes are futile. Like 14x10 the battle against Michael inside Dean’s head, Jack is left alone in the bunker trying to defend his dad and their friends from the menacing archangel’s legion of monsters. I’ll never understand why the writers chose to have Castiel go along with Sam into Dean’s head, leaving his son vulnerable knowing that he’s at risk of using his abilities. It just didn’t make sense, where’s the logic in this plan and it was Sam’s freaking plan! Someone should’ve stayed behind with that kid. Its’s like the SPN writers did this in order to give the plot an excuse to burn off some of Jack’s soul. Though we did get that nice Dadstiel pep talk out of it so I’ll shut down my rational mind before it ruins everything. And for the record I will be going over that scene in part 2 when I discuss Jack’s side of things.

After that circumstance though Castiel is even more on edge. During a hunt in 14x14 the angel’s concerns for Jack are sky high. A common cough rattles him, so does hanging out in the bathroom for too long. Little does he know the Nephilim has been secretly burning off bits of his soul to cure his throat.

But nothing shakes Cas to his core more than that moment when he’s paralyzed from Noah’s venom and Jack promptly uses his powers to save him when the anti-venom doesn’t work. He doesn’t even care that his own life was in danger because his child is endangering himself to help him. The way he asks “what are you doing?” to Jack, there’s tension and alarm in his voice. Castiel knows why his son did what he did but there’s going to be consequences for this later, he feels it and it scares the hell out of him.

As we see back at the bunker trying to heal Dean’s head injury, Jack’s risk-taking hasn’t faired well with his dad. Though he is grateful to his son’s act of goodness it went against his wishes and caused harm to his soul. Something that the angel has been trying to prevent since his son’s resurrection. Castiel wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened Jack, he’d go mad. This scene, Cas’s strictly distressed reaction to his son offering to help their friend speaks volumes. He comes off very human and with a dominant fatherly presence that even has Sam stunned.

Both sides of the argument are understandable too. Jack wants to help someone he cares about who could die. And Castiel wants to protect the person he loves most from not only dying but losing his humanity. It’s a tug-a-war of father/son angst that really brings this episode together right to the final act.

After Jack leaves the infirmary upset, Castiel follows him back to his room so they can sort out some of their issues. Part of this scene will be discussed in Jack’s section as well since there’s so much of it that revolves around him as much as it does Cas. I really like this scene too. I wasn’t crazy about it at first until I pinpointed some details about Jack that now stick out to me. But since we’re talking about Castiel I’ll dive right in. The two have a bittersweet yet tender moment discussing, wouldn’t you know it the topic that I’ve been covering in this analysis; death, pain and grief. Interesting enough as they’ve both already been through it and suffered each other’s loss.

Now on the surface this 14x14 Dadstiel scene acts like its solely talking about the Winchesters, since they’re constantly name-dropped, but its not when read between the lines. Castiel and Jack’s entire conversation is in actuality about their own fear of losing each other. I say this because Jack has been struggling with the deal Castiel made for him and he’d just watched his dad almost getting killed by Noah��s poison. And Cas is aware that not only is his time with his son limited but that he could lose him forever regardless of the Empty’s agreement.

Sam and Dean are their pretext for expressing those fears and reserved emotions they’ve been bottling up inside. They can be unsubtle to each other without getting too obvious. Yep, Jack is just like Castiel in this area which again I’m going to go further into on his end. They both love the Winchesters, that isn’t debatable. But they’re being human is used as a fitting example of how short life is and that it doesn’t matter whether you’re an immortal cosmic being or not, everything ends at some point.

This conversation for Castiel is mainly him teaching Jack about death but also preparing him for when he won’t be around. He knows his son is very young and at a vulnerable state in his life; so, attached to everybody around him that he’d risk his soul to protect them. The angel is petrified of what Jack’s life will be in his absence and since the Winchesters only have so much time on Earth, he can’t rely on them to be his son’s crutch. Just like he had to learn on his own during his time as a human in season 9, Castiel wants Jack to be able to take care of himself. Stand on his own feet. To be strong enough to lean on himself when things are difficult. This is his moment of communicating tough love to his child without coming across as too harsh or insensitive.

Castiel is speaking to Jack as a father here not a celestial being or Sam and Dean’s bestie, he understands his child’s frustrations. And his reason for the above dialogue about the point of grief is telling Jack that it’ll be his reminder of how much he cares for his loved ones. Part of what makes him human. It will hurt when they’re apart but their love for each other will always live on through Jack. You know Castiel is speaking for himself when he hesitates mid-sentence for a second in his monologue. It’s extremely painful for him to even have this discussion with his son, considering everything they’d just went through in previous episodes and earlier in 14x14, yet acknowledges the importance of their talk. That is why Cas is mostly restrained while he’s speaking so as not to lose that strength in his tone and parental presence. It’s a form of instilling that same courage within his son.

And Jack being so overwhelmed by this frightening reality decides to challenge his dad. Insisting that he should be allowed to heal Dean despite the consequences. As soon as he says this, Castiel’s composed mask slips off and his voice becomes grave; disputing why he can’t do that. Notice his eyes have widened now, they’re no longer relaxed, and his nose doing that snarl lift as he verbalizes. There is so much fear and anxiety spiralling inside the angel at this moment. His intention isn’t to lecture Jack, Cas is trying to get his son to discern his worries. If Jack died again or lost himself because of doing something selfless it would more than break his dad’s heart it would crush him. Evident of Season 15.

At last, we’ve arrived at the end of Season 14. Because Jack had killed AU!Michael, to protect his family, and consumed his grace in 14x14 he ended up forfeiting the rest of his soul. Causing a very panic-stricken Cas to abruptly leave the bunker, without telling anyone, in order to seek out a way to fix his son’s condition. Feeling so responsible for Jack sacrificing his humanity to save him and anguished after watching his son kill his pet snake, the angel is stuck in a limbo of hopelessness. Which spirals out of control when Jack accidentally kills Mary Winchester; putting Sam and Dean on the warpath against the young Nephilim.

The entire time this is happening Castiel is at his wits end in his conflict with the brothers, the angels and everything else in between. Tormented over what’s right and what he should do as a solider of Heaven, as a friend to Sam and Dean and as Jack’s father. Between the occurrences in the last two episodes Castiel finalizes his decision and that is his love for Jack outweighs everything and everyone. And always will.

He doesn’t hesitate to get Jack away from Duma who’s been manipulating him to create angels out of human souls or to run to his son’s aid at the end of 14x19 after he breaks out of the box the Winchesters had trapped him in.

Castiel’s not even afraid of Jack’s violent wrath, being the first to approach and attempt to reason with him at the start of 14x20. The expression on Castiel’s face seeing Jack in that state of unstable anger is heartbreaking. His distraught gaze is not fearful of his son but fear for HIM. Fear of what Sam and Dean might do to him. And agonized seeing his child in such pain over his family’s betrayal.

The scene later with Chuck at the bunker with the Winchesters, look at Cas’s horrified reaction when he sees the equalizer gun. How he protests the situation. Castiel’s eyes are red and swollen underneath like he hasn’t rested himself for weeks maybe he’s even had a breakdown off screen; his voice is cracking losing its firm gruff baritone that he’s starting to sound more like Jimmy Novak than himself. He’s so choke up with anguish.

I can’t help feeling like I’m watching a perturbed father than a powerful celestial being the way he speaks so conflicted here; and he’s trembling. The thought of Jack being in danger or dead is throwing him into absolute chaos. He’s desperate for there to be another solution that doesn’t involve killing his son. Observe the consternation in his eyes, the agitation.

Castiel immediately leaves to find Jack before the Winchesters and they softly reunite in a cemetery of all places. Jack as it turns out was also searching for Cas, obviously recognizing the angel’s unconditional love for him. And yah, I wasn’t crazy about the death foreshadowing that was going on here as the angelic duo had their long heart to heart about everything that happened. Just as they’re making getaway plans, Dean suddenly shows up interrupting the touching father/son brief period; intending to kill the Nephilim for what he’d done to his mother.

And I cheered watching Castiel attempt to protect Jack from the hunter, look at this man. He’s in death-glare papa bear mode. Why didn’t we get to see enough of this angry Cas on the show? It was such a powerful moment where he stands up in front of Jack, intentionally blocking Dean’s shot. Willing to die for his kid. It shouldn’t have been glossed over like it was in the final season.

Castiel then instructs his son to run somewhere safe. But instead, the Nephilim refuses to let his dad take the fall for his transgressions and power-pushes him out of the way to face Dean alone. The angel is then lying on the ground, helpless, watching as his best friend approaches his child aiming a gun at his head; point blank range. Again, I ask when have you seen Castiel this scared? That image probably scarred him for eternity. Had he been condemned to the Empty on a permanent basis, I’m sure the entity would’ve forced him to have nightmares about Jack on his knees prepared to die by Dean’s hand for the rest of time.

Dean decides not to take the shot but Chuck arrives and ends up brutally murdering his own grandson anyway just to spite TFW. Poor Castiel, my heart aches watching that awful scene of Jack screaming in pain as his dad drops to his side; endeavoring to comfort him and unable to reverse Chuck’s smiting. It’s the little acting choices Misha does here that really stand out to me. He’s playing a celestial soldier who’s naturally constrained yet tamed, at the same time his character is a loving father. So, he has to move Castiel a certain way that doesn’t come across too human but not uncaring. The way he balances that out to make these moments effective is astonishing to me. I feel every inch of his anguish and confusion.

And then when its all over Castiel is on his knees, staring vacantly at his son’s lifeless corpse, on the brink of breaking down but can’t fully give into his grief since the situation won’t allow it. This scene is so freaking sad. Do you see how afflicted his face is; gazing at Jack lying there dead in front of him? Fighting to contain the urge to sob. It’s a complete 180 from the grief we saw him demonstrate in 14x07 and 14x08. They’re night and day by comparison. In those episodes Castiel was more composed; he had better control of his emotions in spite of how much he was hurting.

But 14x20 Cas is not concerned with holding back his sorrow anymore. Appearing as though he can barely breathe. And he doesn’t want to be anyone’s rock this time because the one life most dear to him was just ripped away in an instant by the man he called his “father”. And he watched it happen which Castiel never rid himself of that image due to what he says to Jack at the end of 15x15.

Speaking of that episode we’re now jumping into Season 15 and the final part of Castiel’s section. I have major issues with this season, its far from perfect in fact a lot of what took place is either really bad or boring. But one bright light for me in that whole mess of a bookend finish is the first half of Cas’s arc. I felt the writers did a pretty decent job with how they handled his grief over Jack. Better than some of the other shows I’ve seen, where they just forget the person they’re mourning an episode later. Although I would’ve liked Castiel to express some anger towards the Winchesters for what they did to his son; tricking then trapping him in that coffin and later trying to kill him. That to me is just unforgivable and realistically there’s no way Cas would’ve let those instances slide so easily. Nor would he be as apologetic towards them as he was. I guess I have to overlook this since he’s in so much pain, and preoccupied with the unleashed souls from Hell, he couldn’t exactly sort through his feelings so everything’s muddled.

Regardless, the writing does some fascinating things with the angel’s grief during the first part of season 15; building right up to the Dadstiel reunion in 15x11. This is nothing like what we were previously shown from Castiel when Jack died the first time. Actually, its much darker and emotionally devastating. Castiel’s is totally alone mourning Jack while the Winchesters are doing their saving-the-world business as usual. His behavior shifts from denial, to despair, to frustration. He’s miserable, withdrawn and less patient with everything and everybody. As though he’s hardly alive anymore. The only thing keeping him going is his anger towards Chuck for killing his son and stopping the impending apocalypse. Even then he can’t really concentrate on saving the day with his emotions out of whack. When you’re watching Castiel during the beginning of the show’s end you can see Jack’s loss etched to his face, in his actions and how he phrases things the whole time.

For instance, remember that point I brought up a while ago about Castiel needing mobile distractions to avoid his pain? Well, he does that a lot this season. Determined to save a woman and her daughter from phantasms, wanting to be involved in the murder case of a family member and later searching for a mother’s missing son. What do these scenarios have in common? Each of them represents something that he’s missing. His child, his family. In Castiel’s mind helping these other families might allow him to work through his own loss.

And maybe it might’ve if he didn’t have another problem to deal with during the end of the world. Belphegor, marvelously played by Alexander Calvert in all his snarky, hilarious glory. I love and despise this character not gonna lie. He’s a highlight of Season 15 for me.

Of all the cruelty the universe could impose on Cas, having a demon possess his son’s corpse and shoved in his face for days is probably the worst torture imaginable for any parent in mourning. I mean just gander the way Castiel vexingly rubbernecks this creature wearing Jack’s meat suit. Listening to this fiend using his kid’s voice as he talks. Sheer revulsion, bitterness, annoyance, suspiciousness and blind hatred. Every second that Cas has to spend within standing or sitting proximity of this demon I swear he looks like he’s about to vomit or smite the guy.

And Bel’s response to Castiel’s distain during their interactions is deliberately antagonistic. Constantly finding excuses to be close to the angel, like he knows his presence upsets him. He gets off on digging under Cas’s skin. Mocking his grief and testing how far he can push his buttons. While he is a highly entertaining character, Bel’s scenes with Cas are fairly unnerving given the amount of suffering the angel is enduring at that moment. He keeps the angel’s wounds open and fresh. And as an avid Supernatural fan of 15 years like I said I was so torn on this character ‘cause I loved and hated him at the same time. He was a nasty, vulgar little bastard that Alex helmed so brilliantly. The complete opposite personality of his other character Jack Kline, can’t believe they’re played by the same person its uncanny.

So, as it turns out Belphegor is a Prince of Hell who offers to assist TFW in returning the souls back to their dimension. Naturally the boys are hesitant at first to work with a demon, knowing full well they can’t be trusted, actually Cas’s more distrusting than the Winchesters for logical reasons. And honestly who wouldn’t think this dude had a hidden agenda? None the less Bel tags along with our group of heroes, much to the angel’s reluctance on the matter, to provide a spell that will keep the phantasms at bay until the team can find a solution that will return them back to Hell and close the vortex. And I have to say Sam and Dean’s behavior towards Castiel really freaking ticked me off in 15x01, 15x02 and 15x03.

Let’s start with the fact that neither of them respects Cas’s feelings on the matter of mourning Jack. A child they were helping him raise. They’re not the least bit phased by a demon defiling his son’s lifeless body all the while it is disturbing and upsetting the fuck out of Castiel. To the point where he loses his temper on it. And no matter how many times he expresses his scorn for that demon wearing his son’s face, Sam and Dean aren’t interested in the angel’s protests. They want to use this demon to help close Hell which is all they care about. So, Cas gets no say on Bel’s participation nor does have any allies to share in his pain. Not Sam, not Rowena, not Ketch. And definitely not Dean.

Just look at that betrayed expression on Castiel’s face.

But that isn’t the worst part about this situation. The Winchesters FORCE Castiel to work alongside this thing out of pettiness for Jack’s accidental killing of their mom. Nice friends huh. They might as well just stab him in the chest repeatedly cause that’s probably far kinder than subjecting him to this torment. Not even my worst enemy deserves this. Castiel can barely acknowledge that creature, whom continuously pokes and prods at him.

Later the scene in the car, Cas looks pale like he’s going to be sick. He doesn’t even want to lay eyes on that demon let alone sit near it. Misha is just so convincingly repelled by the morbid situation of Bel. Hs reactions to Alex’s new character are so poignant. It’s an endless nightmare he desperately wants to but can’t escape. The weird factor is these two actors still have loads of chemistry whether Alex is playing Bel or Jack which says something unique about their onscreen dynamic.

And if you thought paling around with a demon inside Castiel’s dead child was the only problem the angel had to stress over its not. His powers are mysteriously failing him too and he can’t explain or understand it. Several times Cas tries to reach out to his best friends about his frightening predicament.

First Castiel, goes to Dean to see if they can work out some of their baggage in the process and I’m not even sure why at this point. He’s so angry, bitter and unreasonable there’s just no sense trying to bust open up that can of worms. You’d think after watching this man point a gun at his 2-year-old son’s head, and forced him to work with a demon possessing Jack’s corpse, that he would’ve reconsidered this action. Cas was probably better off talking to Bel when he asked instead. And as expected Dean’s not interested in listening to the angel’s woes nor does he want his guilt over Mary. But Castiel is desperate and hurting. Needs a friend to hear him out more than ever.

This outburst scene in particular is so revealing. Still shaken-up over losing Jack Cas can’t even keep the conversation strictly between himself and Dean. And the way he furiously phrases this dialogue is deeply suggestive. He says “after what Chuck took from me” not “what he took from us”. Cas is definitively stating that Jack is HIS SON ONLY not his son with the Winchesters and Dean doesn’t dispute this claim. This is either someone on the Supernatural writing staff wanting to put the final nail in the coffin of that ridiculous My Three Dads gag. Or we’re being hinted that deep down the angel was never okay with sharing the mantle of Jack’s father with his friends in the first place. And who could blame him when he’s canonically Jack’s CHOSEN ONE? When he’s had this special connection with his son since before he was born? If I was Cas, I would’ve set those brothers straight concerning my child the moment I came back from the dead.

Later, Castiel, feeling even more depressed and defeated seeks out Sam because he’s usually the more understanding and amiable one out of the brothers. Hopeful that maybe the hunter can give him some kind of reassurance. Cas did you not learn anything after 14x07? However, Sam’s so oblivious as it is of the angel’s troubles, and wondering about his strange wound from shooting Chuck, even after being told his healing powers gave out on Ketch. Just writes it off as his friend being too exhausted and I mean look at the disappointment in Cas’s face after getting that response. He’s astonished Sam isn’t the least bit uneasy or concerned for his well-being. Exhaustion, really Sam? I know you and Dean are preoccupied right now with Chuck and getting those souls back to Hell but your freaking best friend is suffering, losing his mojo and could be dying!

But then Cas wasn’t exactly on Sam’s radar earlier in 15x02 when he wanted to tell a family about the wife’s body they’d found. Cas’s WTF facial retort here, when his friend doesn’t see this as a current necessity, was literally me. And his need to help resolve a random murder case is a manifestation of the angel’s grief. HELLO! How does this completely escape you Sam? Its not just about wanting to tell a family they lost a loved one, Castiel is in the throws of his pain. His child was just viciously murdered in front of him by the guy he called his father. He has to do something that doesn’t require sitting around or he’ll go insane. I don’t get Sam’s ignorance in these episodes, didn’t Jack mean anything to him? Doesn’t he care about Castiel’s feelings? Ugh I need to leave this topic before I start ranting.

A plan to close the vortex finally comes into fruition at the start of 15x03 and everyone in the group is given certain tasks to perform. Castiel is once again reduced to his cosmic punishment of teaming up with Bel. And as I do enjoy their banter and interaction, I can’t stand watching Cas in this much turmoil. I don’t get why Sam and Dean are doing this is him its absolutely inhumane. They’re not even concerned at the possibility that he could get trapped in Hell forever carrying out his and Bel’s mission to obtain Lilith’s horn. But he shuts up anyway and goes with the flow as they aren’t going to give him a second option.

Funny enough, Bel tries to bond with Cas much to the angel’s antipathy. But that’s not the only thing I found startling about their interaction in this episode. Castiel surprisingly isn’t quick to get rid of Bel either, chasing after him when he assumes the demon is ditching their group. And willing to protect him from the other demon Ardat. In my line of view this looks an awful lot like a parent too attached to the remains of their kid. Another symptom of his grieving process. Cas knows this thing isn’t Jack; knows Jack is gone. And detests Bel with a fiery passion, wants him out of his sight yet at the same time he can’t bring himself to let go of his son. Even if all that’s left of him is a shell. This is still his child’s body, inciting the angel to keep it close which is really depressing when you think about it.

And they actually have a conversation while in Hell at the demon’s persistence. Talking about the Winchesters and that most likely the demon is being used by them. Speaking of his own experiences.

Cas, still repulsed by Bel yet so lonely and frustrated his best friends won’t to listen to him, bitterly opens up about Jack and why Bel’s presence infuriates him. As Castiel admits this he stares off into the abyss, expression stewing in dismal, acerbity and loathing. This scene tugs at my heartstrings every time because Cas feels so isolated; like he has no one and nobody close to him that cares. The only person that’s willing to listen to him vent is a creature he deems an “abomination” possessing his son’s lifeless body. Talking to this creature, Castiel’s voice is void of patience and absent of warmth. There’s hardly any life in there. You can see how angry he is about everything that’s happened the past several hours and how much he misses Jack. The longer Castiel is exposed to Bel’s company the more it makes him suffer and he can’t allow himself to heal.

Conclusively Bel’s agenda is disclosed to Castiel fairly quickly after getting the horn; scheming to consume every last soul to take over Hell, including everyone on Earth. And Castiel is put in the hardest position imaginable; does he scrap the plan and stop this demon on his own or just wait things out? In the end the choice is nearly taken out of his hands and he involuntarily has to kill the demon.

Admittedly I harken this back to the 14x14 Dadstiel scene where Cas was explaining the meaning behind Noah’s fable of the Chicken and the Snake to Jack; “being willing to give up the thing you love in order to kill the thing you hate”. Which I now read as a forsworn event these two characters were unluckily destined to be part of. Based on 15x03, Noah’s prophecy was inevitable. Unless the angel doesn’t prevent Bel’s plan the world will fall. Effectively in a cruel twist of fate Cas has become the chicken in the story because Bel is the snake; and he has to give up his child’s body in order to vanquish the evil defiling it.

My god this moment is the most tragic of any Castiel scene on this show. The imagery enough during this showdown is disquieting as much as it is gut-wrenching. Seeing Cas punching the shit out of Jack’s face and then stopping when the demon attempts to deceive him as his dead son. I felt sick watching this. You are an evil prick right to the end Bel.

The part that gets me the most is Cas’s little flinch and lip-snarl of disgust hearing this fiend say Jack’s name before getting called a “liar”. Then without hesitation, the angel proceeds to smite this demon using every last ounce of energy he has. I’m so pained when I notice that Cas puts his hand on Jack’s shoulder, their sign of love and affection, as he does this. He’s comforting his son’s corpse as he annihilates it out of existence forever. Giving Jack’s remains that final bit of peace that he couldn’t when Chuck took him away. Its small things like this which really enhance the power of this emotional scene.

And those tears swirling in his intense glowing lapses gaze, the struggle and pain is heavily felt during this smite scene. Topped off with that sharp gasp and sob, after Bel has been destroyed, before the scene cuts to black. Nice touch Misha, there goes my heart. You can just feel Cas hurting to breathe its so brutal. Its shot very intimate and personal. I get chills looking at the gifs aware that Cas is breaking down while he’s alone in Hell. He’s actually crying over his son offscreen. This broke my heart.

Don’t even get me started on the aftermath of the smite. The way Castiel gazes up at the ceiling like he’s questioning the universe. Why me? Why do I deserve this pain and when does it stop? Thinking about how he’ll never see Jack again. Never hear his son’s voice. Never talk to or hug him ever for the rest of eternity. His child is gone leaving him with nothing left to fight for. And we’re left questioning how long was Castiel sitting in Hell crying? Did he bury Jack’s remains and where? And why did no one think to ask him how he had to destroy the demon?

Regrettably since Cas killed Bel it left Rowena with no other option but to sacrifice herself which blew a hole in the Winchesters’ plan; causing an even bigger rift between him and the brothers, especially Dean. And his alienation around them compels the angel to make another drastic decision. Leaving.

Castiel at this point can’t even relate to Sam or Dean on a personal level anymore. This isn’t like before when they were all mourning his child together and he had to be everybody’s support system. The events of 14x17 to 15x03 really screwed things up in their relationships with each other. They’re not functioning on the same wave-link of thinking. The brothers aren’t suffering Jack’s loss like Cas is. They won’t talk to him and he can’t talk to them. Their priorities about certain situations, like how to close the portal to Hell, contrast. And now with his son gone, Cas feels more like an outsider in the Winchester household than an honorary member of their family. He’s too tired and exasperated to argue with either of them anymore. And sick of being blamed for Mary and every other circumstance that goes wrong. He’s just done, you can hear it in his tone.

I think my favorite part about Misha’s acting during this conversation happens right here. When Dean asks Castiel where he’s going; he just drifts out to the camera and pauses, and does this somber head tick. Lowering his eye-lids before uttering those words “Jack’s dead” and his whole frame shakes in anguish. Like his soul, if he had one, just left his body the second he says that. This man knows what pain should look like. He doesn’t need to be a blubbery mess to get the point across. This is why I appreciate subtleness in acting. Jack is Castiel’s whole world. The love of his life whom he promised to protect and now that world no longer exists. And he feels as dead inside as his child.

Alright if you thought I was done twisting the knife, I haven’t even scratched the surface so my apologies.

15x06 Castiel busybody that he is, now on his own, searches for other means of distraction. He’s so withdrawn from the Winchesters; avoiding Sam’s text messages and annoyed when he has to speak to Dean as a cover. Winding up in another town. Taking up fishing for meditative purposes which was also the last thing Jack did before he died the first time. And spontaneously involving himself in a random child murder/missing son case. We’re quickly made aware that Castiel’s active determination to help Melly stems from another sign of his grief; wanting to honor Jack’s memory by assisting in a mother’s search for her son. Saving this other boy, for Cas, is redemption for failing to save his own child. And Castiel is in great need of amending and releasing his indignation.

Turns out a Ginn disguised as a local Sheriff was responsible for the murders and attempts to kill Melly’s son. One gun-shot to the chest and the angel just completely flies off the rails. There’s no restraint, no mercy. I mean he’s like a bull seeing red when he looks and speaks to this thing. His enraged monologue is an ode to his hatred of Chuck for what he’s done to him and Jack. He’s talking directly to Chuck not the Ginn. He wants to make that monster suffer the way he’s been suffering. Hurt him like he’s been hurting. I can feel every word of this scene in my bones. It’s so powerful and satisfying.

I love that pulse-pounding intimidation as Castiel advances towards the Ginn, threatening him than grabbing his gun; knocking him to the ground and repeatedly stabbing him with his angel blade. And he continues to mutilate the creature’s body long after its dead; taking all his anger out on it. Cas only ceases his fury when he notices Melly and her son in the background holding each other in terror. Regaining composure, the angel disposes of the Ginn’s body in the lake before returning to the family. All I can say is Chuck really did a number on Cas. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that scary since season 5. He just exploded, its almost as if he put Chuck’s face on that Ginn and just envisioned himself living out an inner desire of murdering him. That’s some pretty dark stuff Supernatural.

When Castiel returns to the bunker in 15x07, more so for himself than the brothers’ sakes, he’s still not quite the same as he was but he’s worked through some of his grief that he’s determined to navigate the primary issue. How do they kill Chuck?

That said the loss of Jack has done quite some damage to Cas’s conventionally sullen yet benign personality. He’s become fairly sinister and slightly sadistic. He has a Russian mobster vibe going on in the way that he deals with Sergei. The shaman who essentially helped speed up the process of his son’s deteriorating health when he gave him that archangel grace. First threatening to burn Sergei alive, if he doesn’t help Sam, over the phone.

And second threatening the shaman’s niece’s by sending AU!Bobby to watch over and possibly assassinate her at Cas’s request. Let’s say this was a bluff its still pretty damn dark behavior. These are cutthroat methods Castiel never would’ve currently resorted to doing to an innocent person. But this is what he is post-Jack. A shell of the gentle soul he used to be. As I watch these episodes, I’m realizing how much joy and peace Jack brought to Cas’s life when he was alive and how far he’s fallen now that Jack is dead.

15x08 Adam Milligan, Sam and Dean’s long forgotten half brother who was stuck in Hell for over a decade, is most likely the only character on the show to silently acknowledge Castiel’s pain after he and Michael received his memories. I know Jake said this exchange wasn’t scripted but it fits so well into the narrative along with his line of “never getting what we deserve”. The way he sadly glances over at Cas who’s so broken inside and out, visualizing that image of Chuck killing Jack, I see him sympathizing with the angel’s losses as he too has lost people he loves and has been screwed over by the Powers that Be.

So Castiel and Dean go to purgatory in 15x09, on a quest to find the Leviathan blossom, for the spell Michael provided. Along the way Cas tries to talk through their issues, again neither of them is surfing on the same frequency. The angel is once again apologizing for his past mistakes and endeavoring to vent about Jack. But Dean, so angry about his mother, just appears irritated every time the Nephilim’s name is mentioned by his friend. And Cas is equally bothered that the hunter doesn’t want to discuss Jack. So, the elephant topic just gets bigger and bigger. And doesn’t vanish even after they’ve mildly reconciled.

Next, we’re bound for the tail-end of Part 1 in this analysis and what better way to finish things off than the Dadstiel 15x11 reunion. Half of which will be discussed in Jack’s segment.

We begin this episode with Castiel arriving at the bunker, calling out to Sam and Dean but they’re away. He finds a note that mentions they’ve gone to Alaska. Then one of the fake FBI lines starts ringing and the angel answers it. Not expecting the reply he’s about to receive. A county sheriff in Cushing, Oklahoma informs him of a series of murders that took place involving none other than suspect…Jack Kline. Soon as Castiel hears that name holy crap his reaction. An admixture of relief, shock and affliction as his wounds were only starting to heal and have now reopened. I love the way Misha peels his cheek off the phone, so overwhelmed and breathily says his son’s name. It’s such a sweet moment that makes me excited for when they’ll see each other.

Cas wastes no time hurrying down to his son’s destination after receiving that gruesome video from the Sherriff of Jack killing a doctor than eating his heart. While he’s confused about this monstrous behavior, he’s mainly concerned with just finding his child before the sheriff’s department. Discovering the person Jack killed was a gorgon, a lowly breed of angel that feeds on human souls. Cas tracks Jack down at an old church where a gorgon has captured and begun torturing the Nephilim. And rescues him.

After the fight, Castiel drops his weapon, reeling in disbelief of what he’s seeing in front of him. His son, alive and bound on his knees. He desperately wants this to be real but part of him is wondering if he’s seeing ghosts. Afterall he’d incinerated Jack’s remains in Hell and had been grieving him for months prior. I doubt he ridded himself of those awful memories. So, the angel apprehensively calls out his son’s name. Needing clarification that this isn’t a dream or a trick. I like this detail here of Cas so hesitant, it makes me think he’s worried Bel has somehow returned and is posing as Jack like he tried to do back in 15x03. He’s just full of anxiety of not seeing his son when he looks into those eyes. But then Jack lifts his chin allowing his dad to see there’s no scorched sockets; they’re blue eyes like he remembers the last time he saw them. And the life zaps back into the angel’s body.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Castiel immediately knows its really Jack and goes to untie him. And well we get the most beautiful father/son moment in the entire series. Castiel helps Jack off the floor, then taking a second grasping his son’s shoulders, checks him over. Basking it all in. The sight of his child, alive, and with him again. No more loneliness, no more dark cloud hovering above him. This is real.

Then Cas pulls Jack into his arms for a bone-crushing hug, not wanting to ever let him go. Seriously I joyously cry every time I watch this scene, call me sentimental. This is amazingly acted by Misha and Alex, one of their strongest performances in Supernatural right next to their golden Dadstiel centric 15x15. It’s the most gratifying and EPIC reunion I’ve ever seen in a show after 10 episodes of build-up and their first reunion was just as memorable. This is exactly the kind of payoff I expect when you do a grief arc that leads to hope.

So why does everything about the Dadstiel arc suddenly collapse after 15x15 when we get to 15x18? Castiel spent majority of the year half alive because of his son’s death. Being separated from Jack did things to his psyche that both negatively and positively impacted his decisions. Not to mention made the pain of his loss so raw and excruciating. He couldn’t survive without his child. We witnessed the extraordinary lengths the angel went to out of love for Jack. How quickly he’d sacrifice himself in a heartbeat for the sake of his son. Castiel was dedicated to being Jack’s guardian but committed to being his father more than anything else in his life. This outweighed his duties as a soldier of Heaven. 15x15 confirmed this to us in that group scene!

My rational explanation for why Cas’s happiness over Jack being alive didn’t trigger the Empty in 15x11, was because of his concern for his son’s life. Remember the original terms were: giving himself permission to be happy not experiencing a moment of true happiness. Castiel couldn’t feel distinctly happy with his son still in danger. Just as he was worried about him during Season 14. The angel, later, couldn’t relax finding out Billie was responsible for Jack’s resurrection, there had to be a catch and there was. That woman has wanted his best friends dead since Season 11 and he killed her in Season 12. I’m sure Castiel’s suspicions prevented the “sun from shining down” on his face in that moment.

15x17’s ending and the beginning of 15x18 cemented that Castiel would never abandon Jack, not for anything or anyone. With the Nephilim activating the bomb inside of himself to destroy both Chuck and Amara. Sam and Cas, meanwhile, had been working together to prevent Jack’s death. Attempting to thwart Dean’s goal of freeing himself and Sam from the tyrant god by using this child. Nothing goes accordingly for TFW in any capacity but where I want to shine light in this is Castiel’s protectiveness of Jack.

I’m sure you’ve noticed all the times he’s holding his son and trying to keep him allay in both episodes. Noticed how on edge and scared he is to lose his son. Castiel refused to let go of Jack. That is child is the love of his life whom he would die for. Castiel’s entire purpose in these last 4 Seasons of the show was Jack. This was told to us the audience in 12x123 when he conceded to Kelly that he would give his life for their child. To love, safe guard, guide and prepare him to someday fulfil his destiny. His son was his ultimate life goal.

Somehow the writers forgot this crucial bit of continuity by giving us the most anti-climatic and weak show exit to a compelling character; definitively canceling out 12 years of development. Fans who enjoyed Castiel’s last scene, I’m sorry to say this but, I couldn’t find logic in there. Nothing rang genuine or true to his character in that scene. I was never big on the SPN writers depowering Cas in battles over the years nor do I see him as the weeping type. He spent centuries in control of his emotions. Depressed as he was about Jack both times he died, that doesn’t mean Castiel suddenly stops keeping his ugly feelings private.

And the angel killed Billie once; do you really think he would’ve coward away in a fight like that knowing his child is out there and endangered? He didn’t live for selfish motives; it goes against his principles as a soldier and a parent.

Say these are his true feelings inside, he never would’ve admitted it out loud. If he and Jack couldn’t stop using pretexts in their conversations, why would this be any different? His life and the lives of his friends have been threatened numerous times on the show. Castiel’s monologue and the way he dies doesn’t fit the narrative told previously up to this point. He’s a warrior and would’ve gone out a warrior. Let not forget that this scene minimizes the importance of his son and decimates the impact of the Empty’s deal which he made for Jack; done out of pure love.

I’m not convinced that after everything Castiel’s been through, the only reason he loved his son so much; was willing to give his life for him and sought penance for centuries of transgressions, was because of this hunter he deeply bonded with. A man who didn’t exactly treat him or is child with kindness. He didn’t learn to love through Dean, not with the way his motivations worked where Jack is concerned. I don’t deny Cas’s friendship with Sam and Dean helped humanize him but the given summery of it all at the end of 15x18 is more than farfetched its ridiculous. The Winchesters are hardly an example to follow in terms of love and humanity. I do believe Castiel was inspired a great deal by the brothers’ everlasting devotion for each other, but as someone I recently spoke to said, their relationship is based on a foundation of toxic co-dependency.

When it comes to Jack, Cas took the best parts he learned from the Winchester’s relationship and formed a healthy loving foundation with his child that didn’t take away from either of their individual identities. But because of bad writing choices, like this, to make Castiel’s entire being and character journey about Dean Winchester; everything he’s ever done for Jack and himself has contributed to…nothing relevant. And the narrative falls flatter than a pancake. Okay yes, this is a grief analysis not a rant however it is also first and foremost a character study. I’m not going to sugar-coat aspects of the writing or be blindsided by the show’s flaws. When something doesn’t make sense, as is the case of 15x18’s ending, I’m going to affirm it. Although that episode was hardly as offensive to me as 15x19.

For my own sanity I had to split this post up since it wasn’t working.

Stay tuned for Part 2 Jack Kline!

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