deaywn-blog

[deaywn-blog]

If my love were an ocean, there would be no more land. If my love were a desert, you would see only sand. If my love were a star late at night, only light. And if my love could grow wings, I'd be soaring in flight . But they break me down to dust and they don't want my broken parts. With all this scars and bruised, I'm not a stranger to the dark. and now I'm too scared to be seen.

[deaywn-blog]

update;

Its been a few months since that things happened. I am still thinking about it. I have always been. But sometimes, I am glad, there’s someone to made me forget all this shit and pain. 

But shit wont stand for a long time, especially when I am alone, it absorbs all those negative vibes and shits.

I dont know, why I can’t forget or move on by this incident. I am still in trauma or in shocked by the things happened. 

I dont know who to trust at some point but yet I always make mistake. 

I, sometimes, just lost. 

I wish I can help my broken soul. 

[deaywn-blog]

ill be here, listening to my jam, trying to run from things that i shudnt thinking about.

[deaywn-blog]

I love you

thats what I will say everytime you are by my side 

[deaywn-blog]

why do i always ended being the toxic in a relationship ?

[deaywn-blog]

why me? why. tell me why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why.

[deaywn-blog]

i really do.

[deaywn-blog]

[deaywn-blog]

i thought after all of this, things gonna be fine, i forget the past, my friends gonna study well, like nothing just happen, but i guess things gone worser.. yeah my relationship with him been better, but why are my friends the one received everything, poor them because of me they had to face everything. why karma had fucked me up this bad. i never do something this bad to someone’s life. why karma. why. why me ?

[deaywn-blog]

confession ( since i aint brave enough )

hey, if u ever read this while we are fighting on this date, 5th of September 2017 at 1.16 in the morning, good, if u aint its okay. 

weve been in love for almost 9 months, i really do love you and i guess you really do love me ( maybe.. ? i dont know whats on your mind ) it just seems sad for this couple few months actually, sad, depressed, our relationship isnt working well and healthy. i know you mad, im mad. both of us are mad. but im just truely sad because i cant say things i want to say, i just dont get any chance to say what i want to say, and whenever i said something, at the end its gonna be fault again, so i ended up saying nothing and let things work by their own. yeah im such a pussy.. but what can i do? but yet at this point, i dont feel like to continue to write anything and become a pussy again.. nevermind, adios :)

[deaywn-blog]

your time will come

[deaywn-blog]

bullshit.

" i wont leave you no matter what "

[deaywn-blog]

No amount of cutting will punish me for existing.

[deaywn-blog]

Spirited Away (2001)

[deaywn-blog]

Whisper of the Heart (1995)

[deaywn-blog]

lately ive been feeling. that you gonna leaves me sooner or later. silly jokes isn't funny anymore. lil bit of teasing isnt fun anymore. you are so sensitive. it seems like you hate me for being immature, silly, making stupid stuff, teasing like i used to do. i hate it. you said you gonna love me till the end. you said you really love me. you said i am your true love. but action speaks louder than words. you lied. and it hurts me. and i tried so hard to not feel sad. but i just cant. is this the beginning to the ending ?

[deaywn-blog]

I guess I will never be happy & will ended up killing myself. @thoughts3inthemorning