drewchial

[drewchial]

The Easter Jackalope

As a rookie paranormal researcher, I knew better than to hog the campfire. Even if my orthodontist practice paid for all of our gear. My place was to suck my hydration tube and listen. Jameson raised a flashlight to his chin. “I was driving down Highway 11 when I saw a pair of antlers in the middle of the road.” Jameson cleared roadkill for a living. He’d noticed a spike in calls around the…

[drewchial]

THE EASTER JACKALOPE (Short Story Trailer)

Centuries ago, the demon goddess Mahthildis reigned in hell, until they kicked her out. She’s been fighting her way back ever since. Her mission takes her deep into the den of legendary creature with a fondness for eggs. Join us on the hunt for the allusive EASTER JACKALOPE. A short story that asks: What happens when paranormal researchers are confronted by a Pokémon trainer? Find out…

[drewchial]

The Duet With Death

The Duet With Death, a short story about a demon clashing with figures from Irish folklore #horrorfiction #fantasyfiction #folklore #shortfiction

A flock of sheep roamed the Irish countryside, oblivious to the predator speeding beside them, cramped into a tiny rental car, struggling to stay on the left side of the road while she reached for her Americano. Droplets sizzled across the upholstery, across the wheel, but they rolled off of me, because I ran hot. My eyes scanned the road, but a thick fog blotted out the horizon. “Elizaveta,” I…

[drewchial]

THE DUET WITH DEATH (Short Story Trailer)

THE DUET WITH DEATH (Short Story Trailer) #booktrailer #bookteaser #booktube #Animation #HorrorFiction #NoAIArt

Centuries ago, the demon goddess Mahthildis reigned in hell, until they kicked her out. She’s been fighting her way back ever since. Her mission takes her to Ireland, where a trio of trickster goddesses challenge her resolve. Sit in on this accursed contest we’re calling THE DUET WITH DEATH. A short story that asks: What happens when demonology collides with Irish folklore? Find out…

[drewchial]

How to build an Engine instead of a Platform

How to build an Engine instead of just a Platform #AmWriting #MondayBlogs

When I published my first novel, HE HAS MANY NAMES, I wanted a book tour with all the fixings: morning shows, signing lines, standing room only readings. You know the usual accommodations to literary world rolls out for unknowns. I mean how expensive could an ad in Times Square really be? It’s not like I was asking for a 30 second spot in the Superbowl, just a 15 second one. Like all humble…

[drewchial]

The Devil’s Valentine, a short story celebrating the real reason for the season

The Devil’s Valentine, a short story celebrating the real reason for the season #ShortFiction #horrorfiction #indieauthor

“Big plans for Valentine’s Day?” My driver caught me spiking my hair in the rearview. “More of a scheme than a plan.” His eyes wandered to the rhinestones along my bustline. My eyes wandered to the medallion hanging from his mirror. St. Benedict? No. St. Christopher? No. St. Valentine. Figures. “Is your date meeting you there?” He addressed my rhinestones. “Yeah,” I broke his sightline, adjusting…

[drewchial]

THE DEVIL’S VALENTINE Short Story Trailer

THE DEVIL’S VALENTINE Short Story Trailer #MortalKombat #booktrailer #bookteaser #booktube #shortfiction

Centuries ago, the demon goddess Mahthildis was kicked out of hell. She’s been fighting her way back ever since. The tides of battle turn when her lover goes missing. Desperate to be reunited, Mahthildis must steal the skull of St. Valentine if she’s ever going to see her lover again. We invite you to join us on this unholy heist we’re calling THE DEVIL’S VALENTINE. A short story that takes you…

[drewchial]

New Year’s Writing Resolutions

New Year’s Writing Resolutions

My blog has been in hibernation mode since I started work on a new novel. I’m about to ease it awake again, but I want to do things different this time around. If you scroll through my posts, you’ll see a compulsive attention to detail, from the photoshopped images to the long form editorials, from the spoken word recordings to the music behind them. I’ve put my whole ass into everything I…

[drewchial]

The Kidnapping of the New Year’s Baby

The Kidnapping of the New Year’s Baby

At the heart of the Pacific Ocean, is a ring-shaped island called Kiritimati. It used to be known for its nuclear tests, feral cats, and dried coconut pulp. That changed when they moved the international dateline, and the islanders became people of the future. Not the distant future, just several hours ahead everyone else. They’re the first to see the sunrise, the first to stop serving breakfast,…

[drewchial]

To Catch a Krampus, A Christmas Ghost Story

To Catch a Krampus, A Christmas Ghost Story

I awoke with my cheek pressed against a hard glass surface, my back bent, and my limbs splayed behind me. Turning over, I found myself in a barrel shaped space. Before I could figure how I got there, a light glared through the walls. My lodgings shook. The ceiling gasped open and everything went upside down. My smokey tendrils reached for the carpet, clutched at the bristles, and pulled me toward…

[drewchial]

Ivanka Trump’s endorsement of The King in Yellow play violates ethic rules

Ivanka Trump’s endorsement of The King in Yellow play violates ethic rules #NewsParody #KingInYellow

Ivanka Trump, used her position as senior advisor to the president to endorse an unproduced play called The King in Yellow on Twitter, a play whose contents are said to have made Marquis de Sade advocates blush. She captioned the photo, “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

What is The King in Yellow?

Originating in France in the mid 1800s, The King in Yellowwas…

[drewchial]

Trump commutes the Penguin’s sentence from Blackgate Penitentiary

Trump commutes the Penguin’s sentence from Blackgate Penitentiary

While many nonviolent offenders have been released due to COVID-19, President Trump has pardoned a rogues gallery of supervillainy. He’s put maleficent metahumans, supernatural sadists, and lavish lunatics back on the streets.

It started when Trump granted clemency to the serial killer Cletus Kasady from a life sentence at the Ravencroft Institute. Kasady is a host to an alien symbiote known as…

[drewchial]

Students from the future get more conspicuous as 2020 gets worse

Students from the future get more conspicuous as 2020 gets worse #NewsParody #Satire

They were spotted last January, mixed into the crowd at the Times Square New Year’s Eve celebration. Spectators noted a group of young people in fashions that were out of sync with the moment. Not a shawl or trendy trench coat among them. They were dressed head to toe in polyester, like Antarctic explorers. They wore mountain ranger coats, heavy duty backpacks, climbing pants, and clunky boots,…

[drewchial]

St. Louis couple confront protesters with poo sticks

St. Louis couple confront protesters with poo sticks #NewsParody #Satire

Protesters were marching down a private street leading to the St. Louis Mayor’s residence when they were confronted by a couple brandishing poo sticks. Cellphone video shows a man with a long double-pronged BM baton and a woman with a bowel-blasted blackjack, standing back to back like heroes in one of the many actions films glamorizing poo stick culture.

The conflict escalated as the woman set…

[drewchial]

As a dangerous psychopath I wear a mask and so should you

As a dangerous psychopath I wear a mask and so should you #NewsParody #Satire

As a dangerous psychopath it’s my responsibility to blend into society, to take my taboo tastes and hide them behind a persona that dogmatically adheres to social mores. The psychiatric community calls this my “mask of sanity.”

Think of me as a trend spotter, but instead of wide waist belts and cashmere scarves, I sense which norms are in fashion. At the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic, I knew that…

[drewchial]

Angry werewolves erupt at meeting over poop bag ruling

Angry werewolves erupt at meeting over poop bag ruling #NewsParody #Satire

At the turn of the 20th century the streets of London were paved in poop. From the cobblestones to the gutters the city was teeming with manure. The sewer system had gone aboveground. Every underpass became an outhouse and every hill became a crapshoot. Horse drawn carriages left thick juicy road apples down the medians and commoners were left to contend with the stench.

Horses produced 15 to 35…

[drewchial]

The Esoteric Order of Karens curse Palm Beach County Commissioners

The Esoteric Order of Karens curse Palm Beach County Commissioners #KarensGoneWild #NewsParody #Satire

Disclaimer: The term “Karen” in the following is not a slur, as it does not exert power over a marginalized group. In this instance “Karen” is as a parody pejorative, a term for an occult order that doesn’t actually exist. While I recognize the term has been misused to defame any and all outspoken women, my targets are the privileged purveyors of misinformation.

Throughout history the Esoteric…