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I just turned sixteen and I feel so old I hate it here

not to be all ribs by lorde on main but i am genuinely terrified of growing up!!!! next calendar year i turn seventeen and i dont think i can handle that!!!!!

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everything makes me so sad and im so sick of it. like, thinking too hard about anything makes me want to sob and i dont know why because existing shouldnt be this painful and it isnt for most people so why does it hurt so much for me. i’ve always been sensitive but being has never stung so much before.

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now that we’re here and it’s 4am here’s some paintings that make me go absolutely bonkers

In The Kitchen by Helena Janecic, Untitled by Daniel Gerhartz, Compassion by Daniel Gergartz, L’abandon (Les deux amies) by Henri de Tolouse-Lautrec

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kathleen turner / ana mendieta / david shrigley / audre lorde

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and that, my friends, is how i managed to kill god behind a 7/11 at 1 am. hi, im amanda, and im here to talk about the prevalence of lotion application in tv and movies

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u r a clown and this blog is the circus ❤️

meghan if ur gonna try to cyberbully me at least do it anonymously. embarrassing. 

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WAIT NO my obsession with dark academia started when i was in second grade and started reading the 43 old cemetery road series!!!!!! ignatius b. grumply adopt me pls

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hey folk i just made a youtube channel and my friend @darkacademiamothman and i made a video watching lost and being stupid!! the name of my channel is bingowifey and, yes, the video WAS filmed with a microwave oven.

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the dark academia community is so so racist and y'all need to sit yourselves down and think about what you say before you post it bc it's disgusting at this point

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if youre not admiring masterfully crafted statues in museums with your lover by your side what are you even doing

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my aesthetic is writing poetry in spray paint on the walls of the white house

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fuck all romance except whatever those two tattooed southern ontario kids have going on

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hey does anyone want to be my bf/gf and we can take pictures together and look very attractive together and we could travel together and we could walk around in big unfamiliar cities together and we could maybe kiss? 

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the supreme court but the defendant and plaintiff have to physically fight. richard nixon has to physically fight the entire united states. brown squares up against the whole board of education.

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not to be all ribs by lorde on main but i am genuinely terrified of growing up!!!! next calendar year i turn seventeen and i dont think i can handle that!!!!!

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playlists!

{all on spotify! my user is amanda grace}

1) sleepless: i usually listen to this one before bed or when i study. it’s comprised of mostly sleeping at last and jome, with a little bit of aquilo and hozier as a treat. my dream is to listen to this playlist while watching the stars or riding on a train with no destination. listen on shuffle to get the full experience.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3BiBYj05318kbjRrcDwlPB?si=R9p3mPNRSpqyBQDYHqVY2g

2) 11 pm in a parking lot somewhere: my go-to playlist while hanging out in a car with my friends. a combination of songs that make me feel like i’m in a coming of age movie and songs that i don’t feel embarrassed playing in front of my friends. very versatile, most “basic” of my playlists (in my opinion).

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2PDwiZBMKHxbyBziBFwKub?si=ENKb6bAQRCm066L986Y_ew

3) english 1 honors classroom, third floor: i wrote every single essay freshman year with this playlist playing. it’s entirely classical music, which i find very relaxing and easy to work to. i feel so sophisticated when i listen to this playlist. dark academia type beat.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1BOg4gALwjlt3ov78obNsf?si=zHR7Jl0-S8GhdywBd0wQlw

4) two girls, one car, and an unprecedented number of ghosts: a playlist made in collaboration with my friend @darkacademiamothman. it’s honestly just a total mess, BUT it’s the ideal road trip playlist in my opinion. 4+ hours long and ranging from 100 gecs to conan gray, this will be the only thing i listen to in the car once i can drive alone.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2aukvCvYQxb3r8Nj47YhkA?si=ddK6Z_PFQqudLvTXpyknYg

this is only 4 of my playlists (i have like 12) so let me know if you want like a part 2 or something!

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i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: lost did ana-lucia cortez so dirty.

ana-lucia is the first assertive female character i’ve seen who was never once called ‘bitchy’ or ‘bossy’ for her assertiveness. and after she died- completely out of nowhere and just episodes after she was introduced- the only time she was mentioned again was when sawyer brought up that one time she had sex with him. like,,,,

b r u h