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Shame

To accept shame is to accept who you are. 

As it is contagious to others in a room, it is highly infectious. 

Now accept vulnerability and you feel empowered. 

That leads to innovation and creativity and change. 

Being emotional creatures, we are driven by emotions rather than cognition. 

So build your emotion landscape and at least you suffer not in vain.

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Goals at 29

1. Be kind.

2. Figure out what I like to do.

3. Work towards what I like to do.

4. Earn some money.

5. Fall in love.

6. Grow white with loved ones.

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knowing

Know something to be someone; know nothing to be you

For something is worldly desires; nothing a peace of mind

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Stories

It seems these days we are preoccupied by stories being told to us in the form of television; that we forget to make our own and we lose ourselves. 

The memory from the past fades like a distant dream and soon we forget the meaning behind the gestures we make that were tied with the past. 

The real way to find yourself lies most likely when true interactions are made. Every person you meet makes you who you are and then you feel lucky to be alive to know that everything so far has been worthwhile.

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Human contact; not social

Idealism and altruism, liability if not constrained. Constrained and be limited in your truth; unconstrained and be conformed in the lies.

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Change

The innocence of Man is frighteningly amenable to influences which immediately strike a chord which was never struck before, sparing no discretion. 

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A café

When serenity becomes unbearable

And the fragrant of freshly brewed coffee makes living that much longer

The want to leave prompts

However comfort we seek and hope for remains

We stayed for proof

Whatever goods comes from curiosity 

Cliché like how it killed the cat

It kills me

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Be polite, not kind

To be polite is to announce your presence with confidence that you know how to behave and you know what is going on - even if you don’t. 

To be kind is to be senseless and vulnerable to outside influence. It is certainly a good trait but not in this world that has been submerged with much capriciousness to say the least. 

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Cycle of life

It sucks. 

When you are rich and famous, you probably would do good deeds by being kind to people and donating some of your money. 

When you are just getting by and unknown, you probably would also do good deed by being kind to people and donating some of your money. 

More is less. The more you give the less you have. 

But should we expect appreciation or even a return for the things we have done?

Life has taught us that equivalence in life does not happen. It’s either we expect too much or we expect too little. We are never satisfied. It’s either we are sad or happy or angry or regretful but never satisfied. 

I always try to help others. I gave money to foreign tourists siblings who told me that they had gambled away their money and did not have money to eat and a place to stay. I took them for food as I want to pay for it lest they use it to gamble. Then they told me that they needed some money to find accommodation. They do not believe in credit cards when I asked whether they had one. It should have raised a brimming bright red flag when they seemed defensive when I offered to help them find accommodation. Instead, they wanted money. I couldn’t now stop and say no, can I? So I gave them an amount that could give me cold sweats because I wanted to really help. Yes, it’s a scam story and yes I did not get my money back albeit a promise was given to me for the return of my money. 

For a few days now, I have been in a state of confusion, questioning, uneasiness, anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment and regret among many others. I could well say ok thanks now you have made a person not want to be kind and helpful to people generally. I could also say no let’s not be sour and feed to the cycle that we have to receive goodness before we can give out goodness to others unequivocally. 

For now, I have decided to bring on the evil face when I am out and leave the kind face at home or to the people I love. But I never know whether I will revert back the same old me because this has happened too many times and hurt has been inflicted too many times and it has happened again and again. 

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See

Be positive and you see negative. 

Be smart and you see stupid. 

Be envious and you see jealous. 

Be a loner and you see life. 

Be everything and you see nothing. 

Be blind and see. 

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Selfless good deed

The grey area of helping another with the goodness of your heart and helping to feel good about yourself. The possibility of feeling down and downright strange when you give money to strangers who ask and seemingly in need and worry about being stupid because it could potentially be a sham. Are you choosing to help anyway because you want no guilt over your will-be dead body? Or are you choosing to help anyway and feel sour about it when you realise it is a ruse? Or do you choose not to help because people need to grow up? Either way, for me, if I help or if I don’t help, the thought lingers in my mind and haunts me endlessly, at least for the day - the difference is I’m out 100 pounds.  

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Not Just To Be Better

The freedom to be rebellious and accepting social condemnation versus the retardation of your own progression caused by continued adherence to social norms created in the past by other people.

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Entrapped

It always comes back circular and bites you in a karmic manner where you almost are certain of its happening. You always dive into the seas of struggle to be a better person. Almost repetitive, you choose the self-sacrificial way to go and convince yourself that they are better without you. Yet, you want things to end amicably. 

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She

She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s culturally aware and she’s the one I’m attracted to. But this relationship is fugacious. Someone else takes her place and the cycle repeats. As much as I enjoy the process of attraction, I long for a fairy-tale ending. 

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I don’t flaunt unless we are talking about my friends.

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Another moment

Do the things that allow you to express yourself. 

Most people earn a living by solely getting things done. That’s where misery manifest itself. 

Most people stay in a relationship, unable to freely express their thoughts. That’s where misery thrives. 

Most people want something tangible something real to the touch. That’s where I find sadness and isolated. 

Categorical imperative your life and one day you’d WOW yourself. Even if it’s just one second of every day. Have that moment

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So simple so special

When you take the time to write something down in your free time, that is a moment so real you don’t even know or understand the repercussions of it until you know it, you don’t!