eekshade

[eekshade]

i need sam to be just as mad about the new avengers shit as bucky was when sam gave the shield away. its only right.

[eekshade]

☆ criminal minds ☆

{■ headcanons, □ drabble (1000 words or less), ♡ full fic (1000 words+)}

☆ spencer reid;

nothing yet

☆ aaron hotchner;

nothing yet

☆ emily prentiss;

nothing yet

☆ jennifer "jj" jareau;

nothing yet

☆ penelope garcia;

nothing yet

☆ derek morgan;

nothing yet

| MASTERLIST OF MASTERLISTS |

[eekshade]

☆ hogwarts legacy ☆

{■ headcanons, □ drabble (1000 words or less), ♡ full fic (1000 words+)}

☆ sebastian sallow;

nothing yet

☆ ominis gaunt;

nothing yet

☆ poppy sweeting;

nothing yet

☆ natsai onai;

nothing yet

☆ amit thakkar;

nothing yet

☆ garreth weasley;

nothing yet

☆ aesop sharp;

nothing yet

☆ mirabel garlick;

nothing yet

| MASTERLIST OF MASTERLISTS |

[eekshade]

Regulus: Waow I bought a house in Brazil for me and my boyfriend with red and green shutters. I can't wait to retire after this heist and live with the love of my life

He said with joys

He was then shot 57 times

[eekshade]

There are two ways to look at the Kaos cancellation....

And I choose to don the magical yellow sweater!

[eekshade]

they're just so silly </3

[eekshade]

they could have fucked in that Honda Odyssey and it would have been less gay

[eekshade]

hey!! sry for not writing anything for 5 months, school has been yucky, but im back!! i started with an alphabet bc it was an easy way to ease myself back into writing. also happy gay month 🫶

Bucky Barnes Fluff Alphabet

bucky barnes x m!reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings/info: letter J depicts a make out sesh ig, internalized homophobia is mentioned, Buck cries, use of you/your for reader but is said to be male, there are scenes after the hcs for a little bit but I gave up on that lol, made in my notes app so sry for any formatting issues, not proof read

A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O?)

☆ Bucky loves your hands. He likes how "innocent" they are compared to his. He adores when you hold his hand, especially the vibranium one. It makes him feel all warm and soft inside. It causes his stomach to ache (in a loving way), and it makes him want to love himself.

The two of you are slowly making your way through the crowded farmer's market, somewhat resembling a can of sardines. You were walking in front of him, taking notice of a small clearing off to the side, grasping his metallic hand, pulling him behind you. He follows without question, a small smile pointed at your two interlocked hands.

Once stopped in the empty area, before you could even think of letting go of him, he pulled you into him, placing his cracked lips onto your own.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do."

He kisses you again.

B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)

☆ Bucky was a confident man in his youth, always the one making the first move. Ever since he started living in Brooklyn again, he started to notice the anxiety crawling up his throat whenever he interacted with others. This is why he wouldn't start talking to you, even if he's interested in you, so you would need to initiate the first few (dozen) conversations before he starts to feel comfortable around you. That being said, given that you've been talking as friends/acquaintances, he'll have no problem asking you out, it might just take me some time.

☆ Once in a relationship he is extremely bold, there are still some topics where he would be more hesitant to talk about (such as the full extent of his past), but when it comes to you he won't having any problem charmin' you like there’s no tomorrow.

Bucky lingers in front of your shared apartment building hoping to catch you on your way home after a day out, he nervously switches from leaning on a tree to sitting on a bench, then back to the tree. He only waits for about five or so minutes before he notices you walking on the pavement leading to the building, but after locking eyes with him, your course changes.

"Hey, Bucky!"

"y/n! I'm glad I caught you, can I walk you up?"

You simply smile and nod in the direction of the door. You smell like newly washed clothes, but to Bucky, it might as well be heaven. You break the silence by asking him about his day, he breifly responds, giving you some of the highlights, you two chit-chat for bit, not able to dive into much as the trip is rather short. By the time you two reach your door, he realizes that he longer can try to find the perfect segue so he might as well just go for it.

"...Well, thanks for walking with me." You smile at him, reaching for the door handle.

"Wait, y/n, I wanted to talk to you about something." You raise your eyebrows as a sort of permission for him to continue.

"I hope I wasn't misreading this, but would you like to get dinner together sometime?" His voice remains unwavering, with a sly smile dancing across his face.

You roll your eyes at his tone, but it's hard to hide the smile forming at the corners of your mouth,"I guess I don't see why not."

"Yeah, yeah," he snickers, "here." It's his number written on the back of receipt, a small smiley face had been drawn next to it, then erased.

"See you, Bucky."

"Bye, y/n."

C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)

☆ Bucky is more of an advice guy than a comfort guy, this is due to him getting extremely awkward/uncomfortable during touchy, feely situations (and not because he doesn't know how to confront his own emotions!!). However, he does understand the need for warmth during hard times, he just opts to show it through acts of service instead.

Your thoughts thrash against the walls inside your head, the throbbing only getting worse as you slowly pull yourself out of his bed. Your face caked in sweat and dried tears, your bloodshot eyes drift to the phone resting upon the on of the nightstands, your unsteady hand grips the device, checking the time.

The late afternoon sun coats the walls in an irritable light, despite the curtains being mostly closed. You notice on the second nightstand that he left a glass of ice water (which was mostly melted now) and a note, which read:

"EVERYTHING NEEDED FOR A BATH IS ON THE BATHROOM COUNTER - ILL BE BACK WITH YOUR FAVORITE ASAP :)"

D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)

☆ Bucky has a really hard time with this one. All he is used to are the classic dinner and a movie type dates, but in his heart, he likes the more intimate, at home, kind. Over time, he finds a sort of balance between the two, like a picnic at a drive-in movie.

"Bucky, where the hell are we?"

The two of you are currently driving down backroads you've never seen before. The road is slightly too narrow for anyone to get fully comfortable, the night sky darkening the path. Bucky has been relatively quiet, letting you do all the talking, and control the music; he never has liked modern music, but there's something special about when you play it.

"Well, if I tell you it's not really a surprise, is it?" He answered, turning his head to you slightly. The smile on his face is almost aggravating, if it had been anyone else's, you would've jumped out of the moving vehicle.

"You're not funny," you playfully roll your eyes, "if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're trying to kill me." You pretend to study him as if trying to find a motive.

"Well, I can promise you I'm not doing that." The smile changes to softer, genuine.

The car is almost silent for the rest of the way, the soft music leading you two down the road. The car pulls into an unpaved parking lot, bringing you back to reality. You look around and see a white screen proudly standing twenty or so feet ahead of you, realizing what's going on, you turn to Bucky. A nervous grin shines back at you, he's holding a basket filled with dinner, and movie snacks.

"You like it?"

E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)

☆ Due to Bucky growing up in the 40s, he does still have quite a bit of internalized homophobia. Therefore, he tends to try and be the stereotypical, manly, provider. He does unconsciously feminize you to make himself feel better, but the second he realizes, or you tell him, he'll do everything to stop, as well as profusely apologize.

☆ Other than that, I do see him as being in the middle. He can obviously take control when he needs to, but also because of his past, he loves when you take the pressure off, and take care of him.

(I can't think of a scene for this rn, and I rlly need to finish this so sry, if anyone want more about this just ask)

F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)

☆ Bucky loves kids, and is great with them, but he doesn't want to have his own, at least until he's stable. So for now he's okay with being the cool uncle.

After spending a lake day with the Wilsons, it was noticeable that Bucky wanted to say something. He looked uncomfortable, nervous even as he waited for everyone to finally call it a night. A little after the kids were put to bed, Sarah called it in, then Sam. You went to follow, seeing as it may be weird to stay up longer than the hosts, but Bucky ushered you to follow him to the back deck.

You sat on the stairs next to him in silence, waiting for him to speak, the warm air surrounding you two. He bit his lip and looked at you, studying you.

"I love you," He smiles at you, his tone signifying a second part of what he needs to say.

"But?" You laugh, nervousness now making its way into you.

"But I can't give you this." He has tears in his eyes, threatening to fall if he says anything else.

"What does that mean?" Confusion grips you tightly, his face giving nothing away.

"An apple pie life," he laughs at his own words, "I can't give you the house, and two kids, dinner by 6, it's all too much for that." He looks to the lake as if it could help him.

"Bucky," you gently take his chin, making him look at you, "what makes you think I want that?"

"The way you looked at me," he wipes a fallen tear from his cheek, "when I was playing with Cass and AJ today.

"Oh, Bucky." You kiss a tear away from the side of his nose, "I don't need any of that, hon. I just need you."

G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)

☆ When it comes to a romantic relationship, Bucky can be pretty serious, while he is smooth/sly, 'goofy' isn't really the word I'd use to describe him. Not to say he wouldn't be funny, but I feel as though his humor is more sarcastic than anything.

(same thing as before)

H - Hugs. (how do they hug?)

☆ I imagine Bucky's skin to be cold, so that transfers to his hugs, but he's cold like a soft breeze on a hot beach. His hugs would also be very firm because of obvious reasons. If he's in an emotional mood, they may be slightly too hard, but never enough to hurt you.

You shiver slightly as his arms wrap around your frame, his head resting upon your shoulder. You two stay like that for a moment before he shifts his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a chaste kiss on it before planting his nose to touch your skin; eyelashes softly tickling you as he blinks.

"I miss you."

I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O?)

☆ Bucky's a fucking nerd, his main interests being motorcycles, fantasy novels (reading in general), folklore, and ancient history.

Bucky smiled widely as he firmly gripped some obscure fantasy novel with a dragon on the cover, unintentionally waving it around. He's excitedly explaining the novel to you, about how well written the book is, about how interesting the character dynamics are, and so on. You mirror his smile as you watch him talk, hanging on to every word that falls off his tongue.

You stand, your smile never wavering as you walk toward him, he stops talking, confused. Once you reach him, you pull him into your grasp, kissing his cheek, holding him close.

"What?" His voice lacking confidence, his smile now unsure.

"Keep talking." You mumble into him, "I like it when you talk." He grins and continues his rant.

J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)

☆ He can get jealous, this is do to his trust issues, but he's mature enough that he won't be a bitch about it unless you want him to, he'll just talk to you, and the two of you will work through it one way or another. He does get rather clingy when jealous, though, wanting to touch you in some way.

You and Bucky are currently at your workplace, your boss decided in order to boost morale that a company party was needed, and you (thankfully) convinced Bucky to go, promising it'll be quick.

Both of you were chatting with one of your work friends when they asked you to come help them get refreshments, leaving Bucky alone with their spouse. Bucky wanted to be nice, he did, but the spouse would not stop going on and on about some shit Bucky had never even heard of. So, naturally, his eyes wander trying to locate you, hoping that you'll come back and save him from this dreadful conversation, and that's when he saw it. Your co-worker was basically feeling you up, their eyes traced your figure as you bent over to grab a couple of waters from the case on the floor, and when you stood back up they grabbed your waist to "move you out of the way" of someone walking by.

The final straw was when you attempted to walk back to Bucky and their spouse, they grabbed you by the elbow stopping you from moving, the grip wasn't very hard from what Bucky could see, but the look on your face was enough to get him moving.

Bucky walked away from the spouse mid sentence. They called out at him, but he paid it no mind. He reached the two of you, and you smiled at him, saying something along the lines of "What couldn’t stand to be without me?" Bucky rolled his eyes when the co-worker asked what he was doing.

"Sorry to cut this short, but honey, we got to go." Overpronouncing the pet name, as he pulls you toward him.

"What? You just got here!" The co-worker joked, "Come on, y/n! The night is still young." He whined out.

"I'm sorry, but Buck's right. I promised to make dinner tonight in order for him to come." You laughed, pulling Bucky's hand into your grasp, "See you on Monday though." You smiled at them, causing Bucky to tighten the grip of his hand around yours.

The second the two of you walked out of the building Bucky pushed you against the wall of it, just barely out of view from the window, kissing you harshly. You opened your mouth in shock, giving Bucky the opportunity to slide his tongue in. His hands roam your body in search for nothing in particular, he smirks when you moan into the kiss, motivating him to pull as much of those pretty little sounds out of you as he can. He thinks of your co-worker, the slimy bastard, they could never have you like this, this thought makes his smile grow as he attaches to your neck, and slips his knee in between your legs. Once he's satisfied with your disheveled state, he silently walks away to the car, leaving you to follow him, confused, calling out for him to slow down.

K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)

☆ Bucky’s kisses are tender/soft, this is attributed to him subconsciously not wanting to hurt you in any way, so any time he touches you it's rather gentle. His lips tend to taste a little like blood, because he has a habit of biting them.

☆ His favorite place to kiss you is on your cheek, specifically with his hands on your hips as a form of greeting.

☆ His favorite place to be kissed is his neck, it feels special, a place just for you and no one else, it's a form of intimacy he hasn't been able to truly experience until now. He especially likes it when you hug him from behind kissing up from the top of his spine to his nape hairline.

Bucky uncomfortably cleaned the kitchen as he waited for you to return from work; he had recently moved in to your place, and it was just now starting to hit him how serious you guys were. You and him have been dating for quite a while, he stayed over more times than not, so it was only natural for you to ask him to move in. He said yes of course, how could he not? He thought about the two of you, about him no longer sleeping in your bed, but sleeping in his. Next to you. It's driving him insane, oh god - when did he start crying? Seriously though, how could you chose him? He just doesn't understand how this happened, how could you, of all people, want him? More tears. God, Bucky, pull yourself together man.

His thoughts screech to a halt as he hears the door open, he hears you call out his name, he doesn't respond, wiping the tears, this proved to be a lot harder to do as one's tears are still actively falling. You find him within a few seconds, he's facing the sink, you snicker at his concentration; you walk up to him, making sure not to be silent, though there’s not a doubt in your mind he knows you're there. You wrap your arms around his lower torso, placing your chin on his shoulder. His hands stop moving as he leans into the touch.

"Hey, Buck." You softly whisper, "You get out today?"

"Of course I have." He turns his head down slightly, trying to avoid eye contact, "You worry too much." He grumbles, he attempts to move his arms forward, but stops when he feels your lips graze his nape.

"I like worrying about you." Another kiss. "It keeps me grounded." You laugh into his neck.

"Please." He drags out the word in an almost whiney tone, moving his head back to get even closer to your mouth, "Please don't stop."

You consister teasing him, turning his chin to look at you, but stop when you see his wet cheeks you decide against it. You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth as a sort of apology, before going back to what you were doing to the back of his neck.

"God, Buck, you know how much I love you?" You mumble into his skin after a few moments.

"No, I don't think I do," He smiles at the wall, "how much?"

You unravel your arms from around him, placing them on his shoulders, turning him to face you. You deeply press your lips onto his nose, causing him to scrunch his face, the kiss makes a humming sound, before a soft pop of your lips.

"That much, times like a thousand." You giggle at his soft expression.

"Wow. That's a lot." He remarks with faux amazement, trying to make it seem like you didn't just make his heart nearly beat out of his chest.

"Yeah it is." You exaggerate the words, gripping his cheeks for one last kiss.

L - Love Language.

☆ Bucky's love language is definitely acts of service. He enjoys doing things for you, and putting his skills to use, I think this can been seen in fatws when he helps Sam with repairing the boat, and getting him a new suit. He likes surprising you with household takes already completed when you get home, he absolutely basks in the praise you give him for doing this.

(yuck. This is where I officially give up on the scenes, as said prior if you want to see any specific ones just ask!!)

M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)

☆ Bucky doesn't like to cook with other people, you can watch for sure! But he doesn't like to share the space too closely, it just annoys him when people do things he believes he can do more efficiently.

☆ The two of you will most likely do A/B days when it comes to cooking and clean up, unless one person is pampering the other/it's a special occasion.

N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)

☆ His nicknames for you are obviously older, and slightly feminine (unless you tell him off), he starts you relationship with names like, doll, darling, and dove. As time progresses he will start incorporating handsome into his list of pet names. All that being said, I don't think he's too into pet names, for the most part he'll just say your real name.

O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)

☆ He starts telling you about his past in the form of jokes (like that one date scene in fatws). He's able to tell you about everything in a factual tone a few months into dating (just so he knows he trusts you), as far as his emotions surrounding it - that does obviously take longer, but in my opinion not by that much. The amount of emotion shared does vary, but maybe a month or two after he tells you about it for the first time, he'll start venting about his nightmares and such.

☆ also it does depend on how you view/retain media, because you might have already recognized his face/name.

P - PDA.

☆ Bucky is in the middle when it comes to PDA, he likes holding your hand, will give you goodbye kisses and such, but he doesn't go father then that. Half due to his social anxiety, half to him wanting the more intimate things to stay private.

Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)

☆ If Bucky feels he's in the right he can and will be petty, such as brushing you off, or making sarcastic comments. He typically won't confront you because of the attitude he holds, but when you decide to apologize he's ready to talk it out. He accepts your apology in time, (depending on what you did) but he is still standoffish for some time after, due to his trust issues.

☆ When he fucks up he is all over fixing it. He starts the apology in a very formal manner, stating how he knows he what he did was wrong, how he'll do better. The second part of the apology is him being (too) nice for the next week, as said on L his love language is acts of service so he'll overcompensate, and do every task you needed done.

R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)

☆ His "main" boundaries are focused around his past, such as you're not allowed to pry when it comes to asking about it - he will talk about it in his own time. You're also not allowed (at least for a long time) to touch the scars he has next to where his arm is attached, or the attachment itself. As far as other boundaries go, he doesn't want you to go further than hand holding, and a quick goodbye kiss in public, and he hates it when you pity him out right - keep that in your head.

S - Security. (how protective are they of their S/O?)

☆ He is very protective of you, not in a weird controlling way, but he always checks in out of fear someone will use you to get to him for one reason or another. This protectiveness isn't really that obvious, more just him checking in on you, and keeping an eye out when you're out together.

T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O?)

☆ Bucky does take quite a bit of time to actually fall in love, but him finding you attractive/intriguing is very fast if not immediate. It takes about 2-3 months for him to ask you out (though he does flirt for a while first), and about 5-7 months of dating to "love" you.

U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)

☆ He can get upset from a few things namely; everything said in R, when you grab him first in his post nightmare state or during/after a panic attack (he wants to be the one to initiate contact, because sometimes he doesn't want to be touched), and if you disagree on politics - although Bucky isn't the kind of guy to compromise on those so it most likely won't happen, because he wouldn't be dating you in the first place.

V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)

☆ Bucky's a NERD!! He likes to go to places with rich history/culture, and he won't take a second to rest, he just wants to see everything, can you blame him? If you're the kind of person who wants to spend a day relaxing by the pool, I'm sorry, but he will leave you behind without hesitation.

W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)

☆ Bucky promises to never hurt you in any way shape or form, he promises to protect you agianst others who wish to harm you, and he promises to never leave you behind as he doesn't want anyone, especially you, to feel how he felt.

X - Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)

☆ Bucky likes to do little things for you to make you feel welcome/comfortable around him. This comes in different shapes and forms, such as complimenting you in every which way, making mental notes of things you like, and always being ready to help you out with anything you may need.

☆ Bucky feels the most welcome when it's explicitly said that he is. You using your words to validate him, not even compliment him, but just say he's doing fine, it does more for him then you could imagine.

Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)

☆ Bucky is able to survive being isolated for long periods of time, even going as far to do it intentionally, but you've weakened him. He misses you rather fast. Now, it's not like he's going to cry over it or anything, but he will sometimes sit up at night unable to sleep without you next to him.

☆ Let's say that you two, for whatever reason, can't call. Bucky is an old fashioned guy, he likes to keep a least one physical photo of you on him at all times. He says it's his good luck charm; he would never tell you however, is that when you two are separated he keeps the photo as close as possible at nights because it calms him down from his nightmares.

Z - Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)

☆ As said so many times throughout this list, Bucky gets nightmares, and sometimes he can't fall back asleep afterwards so he gets up to go do his own thing, because of this while the two of you do sleep near eachother, you rarely cuddle. It's not even that he doesn't want to cuddle, he does, it's the fact he feels like a burden any time he wakes you, so instead he lied and told you he doesn't like them.

☆ Other sleep facts about him is that he runs hot at night, somewhere earlier it's said he's cold to touch, but for whatever reason he can not have more than one blanket on him, plus your body heat.

☆ His typical sleepwear is a pare of shorts, and if you want to count them, his dogtags. During the colder months he'll add a long sleeve shirt, or even just a standard tee, depends on his mood.

MARVEL MASTERLIST

[eekshade]

w

Evneed tib talk more lmao

Good enhlirg 👌

idk who u r man, critical thinkin isnt my friend rn

if this is zem & co. i swear ill beat u all up >:(

[eekshade]

We should collaborate on an art lmao

dawg sry for taking so long this somehow got lost in my inbox :( i didnt notice till I got another ask

but yeah, we totally should!! like visual art or writing?? either is chill w/ me :) if you guys have any idea for something yall want to do, just let me know!! (inbox, dms, messages, whichever you guys prefer)

[eekshade]

‼️‼️

If you're having trouble keeping up with what's going on in Palestine because of US news coverage of university protests, here are some articles you can read and a video you can watch:

While CNN & all the other mainstream media try to paint the university protests as "pro terrorism" (which they're not, they're literally anti-war protests.) Palestinians are being slaughtered by the minute.

Please don't stop speaking about Palestine.

[eekshade]

can you pretty please make an angst alphabet? I don’t exactly know what would be on it but the idea would be so cool.

yes yes yes 🫶 this idea is so fire flames, tbh this was a lot harder bc I feel as though it's kind of repetitive but I tried to spread it out as much as possible.

☆ angst alphabet template ☆

A - austere (what makes them feel uncomfortable and unwanted?)

B - bad habits

C - crying (do they cry easily? what causes them to crack? how do they cry?)

D - death (how do they handle the topic? what would they do if their S/O died?)

E - emotion (an emotion they try to suppress.)

F - fights (how do they argue? how quickly do they start an argument? are they patient with their S/O's feelings?)

G - guilt (do they feel guilty over something? how do they handle that feeling?)

H - heartbroken (have they had their heartbroken before? does their S/O have the power to break them?)

I - Insecurities

J - jaded (how easily do they become jaded? how do they attempt to get out of that?)

K - killed (what have they killed? figuratively or literally.)

L - lies (what lies do they tell their S/O? are they a good liar?)

M - mono (do they ever feel alone?)

N - nightmare (what's their worst fear?)

O - obstacles (what things have they overcome? how much does it still effect them?)

P - panic (do they panic easily? what instinct do they have, fight, flight, freeze, or fawn?)

Q - quiet (secrects they have.)

R - rejection (how do they handle rejection of any sort? have they had any big moments of rejection?)

S - separation (how would they react to a S/O breaking up with them? what would it take for them to break up with their S/O?)

T - trust (how do they break their S/O's trust? how easily is their trust earned/broken? how would they react to being betrayed?)

U - urges (what's something they want but cannot have? or something they lost and can't get back.)

V - volatile (how quickly do they anger? what do they act like when angry?)

W - weak (what makes them feel weak?)

X - x-ray (how readable are their emotions? how good are they at reading their S/O?)

Y - youth (what kind of childhood did they have? at home and at school.)

Z - zero (what would they do if they lost everything?)

| BOUNDARIES AND REQUEST INFO |

[eekshade]

☆ fluff alphabet template ☆

I wanted to do fluff alphabets for all of the silly little characters I love, but they were all inconsistent, so I made my own. I'll be using this for all of these I make; use if you please. :)

A - Admiration. (what do they admire about their S/O)

B - Boldness. (how bold are they in regards to their S/O? who confessed first?)

C - Comfort. (how do they comfort their S/O?)

D - Dates. (do they prefer going out or staying in? do they prefer fancy or simple?)

E - Equal. (are they more dominant or passive?)

F - Family. (do they want to start a family?)

G - Goofy. (how serious are they when it comes to a relationship?)

H - Hugs. (how do they hug?)

I - Interests. (what Interests do they want to share with their S/O)

J - Jealousy. (do they get jealous?)

K - Kiss. (how they kiss/favorite place to be kissed, and vise versa.)

L - Love Language.

M - Meals. (kitchen dynamics.)

N - Nicknames. (what do they call their S/O?)

O - Openness. (how open are they about their past/emotions with their S/O?)

P - PDA.

Q - Quarrel. (how they apologize/ how long it takes them to forgive their S/O?)

R - Rules. (boundaries they have.)

S - Security. (how protective they are of their S/O.)

T - Time. (how long does it takes to fall for their S/O?)

U - Upset (what things upset them in a relationship?)

V - Vacation. (what kind of traveler are they with their S/O?)

W - Words. (promises they make to their S/O.)

X - Xenial. (how they make you feel welcome/what makes them feel welcome?)

Y - Yearning. (do they miss their S/O easily? what do they do about it?)

Z - Zzz. (sleeping habits/how they cuddle.)

| BOUNDARIES AND REQUEST INFO |

[eekshade]

Hello Eli.

I love your Bucky stories.

Could you write something about Bucky and his boyfriend?

After Bucky returns from a long mission, Y/N surprises him with a romantic dinner.

Surprise!

Bucky Barnes x m!reader

Word Count: 1101

Warnings/info: use of y/n, reader is playfully cocky, Bucky and reader live together in an apartment, reader drinks wine, fluff hopefully, not proofread

Y/n frantically raced from counter to counter putting away the ingredients that were no longer needed. His phone buzzed harshly against the counter catching his attention, “Just parked, see you soon.” The message sends his heart into a frenzy. He glances around the warm, dimly lit room, a smile growing on his s/c face as the feeling of pride bubbles in his chest. He takes a small spoonful of the simmering, soft orange sauce, bringing it to his lips; his smile grows as the tangy, slightly thick substance melts on his taste buds.

With a final nod he sets the spoon back onto the counter. He grabs two wine glasses, white napkins (that thankfully arrived on time), and two white candle sticks. The items are neatly placed in their respective places, the wax from the candles rubs off onto his shaky fingers causing an uncomfortable sensation to run through his veins and up his spine.

The loud sound of the door unlocking broke through the quiet apartment, causing the male to jump and swiftly walk to the nearest mirror checking out his appearance, straightening out the suit that draped across his torso. He hears Bucky take a few steps into the main entrance before stopping.

The smell of spices fill the brunet man’s nose, partnered by the soft jasmine and neroli candle lit in the corner of the room, bring a strong sense of comfort to the older man. A confused smirk dances on his chapped lips, he drops his bags next to the front door. Walking farther into the apartment, curiosity turns to amusement when he realizes what his boyfriend has done.

“Darling…?” he calls out, slight anxiety naws on his brain thinking he has forgotten something important “What’s this all for?” He glances around in search of his lover.

The younger man comes out from around the corner, his nervous smile brightens at the sight of Bucky’s lovesick eyes, “Surprise!”

“I -” Bucky searches the other’s face for something, anything, “I’m sorry but I don’t understand.” He says defeated.

“Well, I know how hard you’ve been working and I wanted you to know how proud I am.” As y/n says this he slowly makes his way to Bucky like a fox stalking a brittle, white bunny.

“Thank you doll.” Bucky says feeling unable to comprehend how someone could love him this much.

Y/n takes Bucky’s hand in his own, leading him to the small table adorned in a white table cloth, a dark red overlay and a black runner layered on top. A bundle of roses and baby’s breath sit in a darkly colored vase, candle sticks and all one could think of sat across the placements on each side of the vase.

Y/n pulls out Bucky’s chair for him, laying a quick kiss on the elder's temple as he sits. “And after I can draw you a nice warm bath,” y/n says, dragging out the first word, “even bought you some bath salts and such.” He mumbles onto Bucky’s forehead before leaving another kiss.

Y/n goes to move but Bucky grabs his wrist gently tugging him down to his level, “I love you.” Bucky quietly gushed before planting a suave kiss on y/n’s lips.

“I love you,” y/n echoed, “now can I get the dinner I have just so lovingly prepared?” He jested, Bucky grinned back as he let go of y/n’s wrist.

Y/n walks into the kitchen for a few moments fixing up two plates with the orange pasta gently grating parmesan cheese on top of the dressed up noodles, elegantly walking back to the table and setting them down while softly spinning to go retrieve the deep, dark red wine, before pouring it into the two glasses, finally he pulls a lighter out of his pocket lighting the candles.

“Thank you, y/n.” The use of his first name caused him to glance up only to be met with a teary eyed Bucky.

Choosing to not embarrass the other y/n decides to go the humor route, “Thank me after you’ve tried it, lemme tell you I may or may not be the best cook to ever grace this lovely planet.” Bucky rolls his eyes lovingly at the e/c man.

Bucky is unable to hide his smile as he takes a bite, y/n’s eyebrow quirked up and hummed at the other man, “Oh yeah, I think you might just be.” He grins up at y/n.

“‘Course I am” y/n scoffs.

…

After a slow dinner Bucky feels the tiredness of the day, hell the last few weeks, start to overtake him. Y/n stands and takes the plates to the sink quickly rinsing them before placing them in the dishwasher, Bucky comes up to the other with the empty wine glasses going to wash them. Y/n grabs the glasses out of Bucky’s hand and puts them in the sink while softly scolding him.

“Let me take care of that.” Y/n uttered, “Your night isn’t over yet, come on.” Y/n leads him to the bedroom and connecting bathroom, he follows - content.

“Go to the bathroom and undress, I’ll be quick.” Y/n softly ordered, opening the closet to take out pajamas for the two of them.

“Well, I would say take me to dinner first but…” Bucky snickers.

Y/n rolls his eyes, “Just go.” Bucky puts his hands up and backs into the bathroom.

Bucky whistles eyeing what y/n put together earlier. He sits on the edge of the tub taking off his shoes, he then stands and grips the hem of his shirt pulling it over his head. Y/n walks into the bathroom immediately going to the tub turning on the water letting it run until it turns warm, on the hotter side. He slips the plug into the drain, gathering the supplies, sprinkling the salts into the water.

Once the water is all nice and ready y/n helps Bucky into the water. He steps away to turn on some slow jazz (particularly one album that Bucky listened to all the time when he was much younger), y/n kisses Bucky again right above the eyebrow, he stands to make his exit, both men laughing when his knees pop.

Y/n closes the door and makes his way back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up, and unpacking Bucky’s bags. He smiles widely at the thought of the man in the other room, listening to the very quiet music that drifted out through the home.

MARVEL MASTERLIST

[eekshade]

I’m very for angst right now- Bucky in his Winter Soldier ‘mode’ in some way hurt his boyfriend who then was sent to the hospital. Later on when Bucky’s back to normal he realized what he did and feels very sad about it and visits his partner

sorry this took so long, i know it's not really what you were looking for, more of a hurt/comfort than angst.

Sorry, Sweet Home.

Bucky Barnes x m!reader

Word Count: 644

Warnings/Info: made this on my phone, this isn't really angsty, more fluff than anything, just a hospital scene; no actual violence, not proofread, no real warnings

Bucky sat in the pure white and blue hospital waiting room, speckles of color pop out in the minimalist paintings of nothing in particular. Tears pricked in his eyes as the guilt of harming you caused him to shudder deeply. How could he do this? How could he let himself slip like that? How could he hurt you when all you wanted to do was help? He felt numb as he shifted uncomfortably in the stiff seat.

The doctor came to him, Bucky didn't fully know what was said to him. The sound of his heart and nondescript buzzing flooded his ears. His body moved by itself as he made his way through the spotless hallway to your cleansed, pale room.

His eyes land on your somnolent body, he blinks to clear his eyes of the warm tears. His mind races a mile a minute, his self hate and shame boils in his heart. His body feels like it's going to give out underneath the weight of it all. His thoughts come to an abrupt end at the sight of your warm, shaky smile.

“Buck…? You okay?” You whispered, voice soft as a small kit.

“Am I okay?” His voice cracked deeply, taking a breath before continuing, “Are you?” He made no effort to move closer to you - the guilt stopping him.

“Of course I am, I can take you any day.” You jested, he let out a soft whimper at that.

“Honey, can you please come over here?” You pleaded with a warm smile.

He nodded hesitantly, pulling up a chair to the side of your bed. Knees pressed against the soft plush of the mattress, the contrast of the cool metal bringing him no comfort.

“I am so sorry.” He apologized, voice barley audible out of fear that if he spoke too loud, he wouldn't be able to get the sentence out. Tears running down his soft cheeks, the salty taste enters through the corner of his lips.

“Hey, no no no, don't do that. It's not your fault.” The pads of your thumbs gently wipe the tears off of his pretty face.

“-But I put you here? How could this not be my fault? I let myself go, and I let myself hurt you.” He croaked, “ I'm a monster.” He avoided eye contact like the plague, opted to look at his hands tangled with yours.

You broke into laughter, warm and bubbly, he looked up at your face, confusion gracing his angelic features.

“Sorry, I just, I love you so very much. Do you know that?” You snickered.

“Callin’ yourself a monster, but - god, I mean, look at you.” You say with a harsh snort.

“What does that mean?” He smiles at you, guilt seeping out of his system at your antics.

“Well, for starters you have an entire bookshelf of only fantasy, you organize your clothes by color, you're insanely good with kids, you love carnivals, you fold your socks, you are a cat whisperer, do you need more?”

He looks at you sweetly, opening his mouth to respond, but he closes it when he can't find the right words to choose. He looks down at his lap, a lovely smirk on his lips. He's trying to hide it almost like he's embarrassed of himself for being so easily swayed.

“Look at me.” You responded curtly. His blue eyes swiftly look up at you, shaken by your icy tone.

You lean in and leave a quick tender kiss on his slightly chapped lips, he chases your lips as you pull away. He whines as you stop him from continuing. You rest your forehead on his, your breath mixing together, “I love you, Buck, so so much.” You mumble into the small space between you two.

“I love you more.” He kisses your cheek.

“Sure sure.” You scoff, catching his lips once more.

MARVEL MASTERLIST

[eekshade]

Death II

Bucky Barnes x m!reader / Steve Rogers and m!reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3419

Warnings/Info: bucky briefly mentioned but isn’t in this, Steve and y/n best buds, not proof read, kind of boring because it's just a play by play of the end of the first avenger, y/n is content with his own death, guns/shooting, Peggy <3, discontinued

Part One

Y/n’s transfer was approved merely a day after he sent it in, just one of the perks of being friends with Captain America. When y/n and Steve saw each other for the first time there was an unnamed tension between the two, they of course both loved the other but never really hung out without Bucky. Steve introduced y/n the rest of the team, he truly didn’t want to deal with pleasantries at the moment and they seemed to get the hint. The team briefly knew y/n and Bucky’s relationship, (leaving a few key details out) so they chalked his standoffish behavior as grief, which it was for the most part.

The final Hydra base came quickly, the plan was making y/n nervous as he and the Howling Commandos, excluding Steve, sat on top of a ledge looking down into the Hydra Headquarters’ main window. He anxiously chewed his lip and he awaited his cue, Dugan looked at y/n and put a warm hand on his shoulder, “He’ll be fine, he knows what he’s doing.” He attempted to reassure. “I know he does.” Y/n bites back, Dugan’s eyes go wide with a shocked smile, “Sorry, I’m just - I’ll be better on the ground.” Dugan’s smile warms and he laughs, letting go of his shoulder, walking closer to the edge.

“Ready boys?” Dugan calls out.

In unison they all get up and get into stance to shoot out the zip line hooks. “On three! One, two, three!” The hooks all fire out, with a metallic zing. They all quickly tie off their lines to the poles dug deeply into the ground, despite seeing them go into mountain y/n can’t help but feel nervous as he puts his handle across the line, taking a deep breath and running off the edge, the friction producing a sound that reminded y/n of watching Bucky work on the docks - pulling ropes off the side of the small ships.

“Fucking Christ!” Y/n hears someone yelp out.

He looks to the side, trying his best to hide his face into the crook of his own neck. The glass shatters against his body; small shards sticking into his soft flesh, his hands letting go of the zip line on impact, his body rolls across the cold, hard floor. The sound of gunshots rattle his body before his eyes can process the area around him, he looks up and slides his body to a near crate on the floor, he pulls his gun close to his chest and looks around the corner - firing at a Hydra soldier. Y/n stays crouched as he runs to a pillar, he makes eye contact with Steve from across the room, Steve nods his head toward the hallway before running into it, y/n following close behind.

“You okay?” Y/n questions the second he gets close to Steve.

“Yeah, hit me a few times but you’ve probably hit me harder.” Steve smiles at him.

Y/n laughs at Steve as they continue to run after Schmidt.

Schmidt was shooting behind him as he ran, Steve pulling up his shield to cover his face, y/n moved his stride to hide behind Steve. Schmidt smashes a button as he runs by, the door mechanism blinks to life as two metal walls move together from both sides at a steady pace, Steve quickly throws the shield between them, metallic creaking filling the hallway as the door continues to try and close. The two men attempt to run to the door but are cut off by a man with a double barrel flamethrower, they frantically step back hiding in another doorway at the other end of the hall. Fear washes over y/n as he tries to shoot the soldier - the flames disrupting his view.

Gunshots ring out, the echoes making hard to know where they came from, until the Hydra soldier drops. Steve and y/n move forward to the body planted in front of a crossroads in the hall, as they reach it Peggy and Colonel Phillips almost run into them.

“You’re late.” Steve says looking like a lovesick puppy, you wave softly at her.

Y/n was about to tell Steve to keep it moving but Peggy beat him to it, “Weren’t you about to-?”

“Right.” Steve turns and keeps running, y/n quickly following suit.

Y/n ducks under the shield first before Steve pulls it out of the door, causing it to snap shut. Y/n glances around, taking in the large room, the shooting and screams has now become as normal as the sound of his own breathing. Both men look for Schmidt’s running form, while neither find him; they both see the only moving aircraft slowly starting to descend farther down the runway.

The men both wordlessly take off running in the direction of the aircraft, shooting and shoving through the people in your way, at some point Steve grabbed y/n’s arm pulling him along. The two keep running, adrenaline pumping through y/n’s veins, the only thing he can hear is his own heartbeat pounding in his ears rhythmically. In the distance Steve sees a chain dangling from the ceiling a few feet from a crate, he slows a bit pulling y/n in front of him as softly as possible, picking him up and placing him on his side like a young child. He runs at his full speed at the crate using it to propel himself (and y/n) toward the chain, y/n leaps out of his arms - landing on the chain just above Steve. It aggressively swings back and forth, y/n jumps first, landing a few dozen feet ahead, Steve following behind.

The aircraft is so close but accelerating far too quickly for y/n, and too quickly for Steve. They slow to a stop as it speeds away, before all hope can be lost a car halts next to them, “Get in!” The Colonel yells over all the noise, neither of you need to be told twice as you hop in. Colonel Phillips floors it; once you start to get close to the aircraft the propellers hit the back of the car, the screeching of metal sounds imitates a monster lurking in the shadows of cold caverns in the deep ocean. You shakily climb onto the hood of the car, Steve doing the same much more confidently.

“Keep it steady!” Steve calls out.

“Yeah, that, please.” Y/n nervously laughs.

“Wait.” Peggy firmly states, Steve turns around to look at her, concern apparent in his eyes which quickly melts away when she kisses him.

“Hey…I don’t mean to rush this but-“ Y/n interjects.

“Yeah, right. Go get him.” She smiles at Steve, then at y/n (which shocks him slightly).

Steve looks at the Colonel in one final glance, “I’m not kissin ya.”

Y/n and Steve line themselves up on the end of the hood, knees bent tightly, the car now as close as it can get to the wheels, swerving harshly to throw the men forward. Y/n’s knuckles turn white as the wheel starts to move up into the ship. Steve watches y/n closely, fear racking him slightly as the height increases.

The wheels lock in place with a final clicking noise, the men climb off of them and through the bars onto the catwalk. Their eyes are met with bombs lined up on exit hatches, as well as a few small one man planes, they walk up to one of the bombs with neat painted letters in print, New York. “Well it's awfully nice of them to let us know the plan.” Y/n jokes to try and lighten the mood but it falls on deaf ears.

Steve is only pulled out of his trance when a fair sized group of Hydra soldiers stormed through the doors onto the catwalk. Y/n and Steve both immediately jump into action, both noticing that they’re trying to get into the planes. Y/n pulls a soldier out of the pilot seat harshly, throwing him onto the floor and shooting him in one fluid motion. Y/n finishes off the few Hydra soldiers on his side, he turns around and sees Steve no longer there, fear courses through his veins as he runs to an open exit hatch. Looking down he sees Steve standing on top of the small plane pulling open the door and dragging the pilot out into the open air. He gets in and starts to fly around the ship; y/n losing sight of Steve.

Seeing as Steve’s shield is on the ground, y/n assumed he should wait for Steve to return. While waiting y/n takes a dead Hydra soldier’s gun and shoots the wall seeing the blue light explode onto it. He hears a crash behind him and Steve climbs in from the plane and aggressively grabs the shield off the floor, “Getting trigger happy?” He laughs, “Fuck Hydra in all, but they got sick guns.” Y/n says waving it around, “Alright calm down, and don’t shoot me.”

Y/n leans around Steve to look at his parking job, “Jesus man - you ever fly before?”

“As the pilot? God no.” Steve laughs moving to quickly walk further into the aircraft.

The two eventually find the control center, Schmidt nowhere to be seen. Y/n glances around before feeling a hard grip on his bicep yanking him behind Steve, the shield blocking the familiar blue gunshots.

“You don’t give up do you?” Schmidt yells out at Steve, his accent getting heavier throughout the sentence.

“Nope.” Steve states matter of factly, before throwing his shield at the red man, Steve aggressively rushes him.

Seeing as Steve has Schmidt under control y/n goes to the controls, frantically looking for a way to turn the ship around. He quickly finds a, what he thinks was a button, broken off labeled autopilot. The familiar hopeless feeling drapes itself over y/n, clouding all of his senses like a heavy wool blanket. Y/n gets knocked out of his thoughts when Schmidt smashes into the controls, forcing the steering controls down, throwing the three of you up into the ceiling.

“You could have the power of the gods! Yet you wear a flag on your chest and think you fight a battle of nations!” Schmidt yells out at Steve, “I have seen the future, Captain! There are no flags!” His voice gets louder and more intense the more he yells.

“Not my future.” Steve throws the shield at the mysterious machine in the middle of the room.

It sparked and the blue light aggressively flickered, making a whirring sound. A bright blue cube fell out of its container, it burned so bright it felt as though it could burn one's eye, it felt like it could blind the vision of the eye in just one glance. Despite this y/n couldn’t look away.

“What have you done?” Schmidt exclaims, venom dripping from his voice.

Schmidt picks up the cube off the floor with haste, the sky starts to open up, all three men look up at it, a bright, star filled, galaxy looks back at them - it seemed to wink back at them as it started to rapidly consume Schmidt. His screams filled the air, y/n wanted so bad to look away but he just couldn’t.

The second Schmidt was fully gone the sky closed back up, it all happened so fast if it weren’t for Steve’s shocked expression y/n would’ve thought he imagined it. The cube falls back onto the floor with a hard thud, it sits for a second before melting through the metal and falling into the open air. Steve shutters slightly, and walks up to y/n, who is still standing by the control panel, eyeing it with concern and confusion.

“I can’t- I don’t-“ Y/n stutters,”It won’t stop, it's stuck on auto pilot.”

Wordlessly he gently pushes by y/n to get a closer look, he sees the same thing y/n did, Steve looks strange as he sits down and picks up the radio.

“This is Captain Rodgers, do you read me?”

A man starts to say something on the other side but is cut off by Peggy, “Steve is that you? Are you two alright?”

“Peggy, Schmidt’s dead!” Steve calls out.

“What about the plane?”

“That’s a little tougher to explain.” As Steve says that, he has a certain look in his eye, y/n now starting to understand the new plan, sinks down to the floor next to the chair - back against the side of the chair.

“Give me your coordinates and I’ll find you a safe landing site.” She pleads.

“There’s not gonna be a safe landing.” He says solemnly.

Their conversation starts to blur together as y/n gets lost in his own thoughts, a sense of calm replacing his fear, there is nothing y/n can do. He knows this, he’s okay with this. He can’t help but get that guilty feeling again, he’s ready for death, he come to terms with that a long time ago, while he didn’t think it was going to be today, it's fine that it is. He can’t help it, how could he be sad when he knows he’ll see his boy again? The guilt pinches at him again when he remembers who he’s sitting next to, how can he be happy to see his lover again when Steve is being ripped away from his own? He hears his name, successfully gaining his attention.

“Y/n?” Peggy asks.

“I’m sorry what?” He smiles at the radio, he knows she can’t see him but it felt right.

“Are you okay with this? It’s not just Steve’s life.” She states firmly, it's sort of comforting.

Steve looks at y/n, fear in his eyes, it hits y/n that he’s never seen Steve scared before. He’s seen Steve depressed, angry, concerned, hopeless, but never scared. Without thinking y/n grabbed one of Steve’s hands, off the controls, into his own.

“…Well I mean you know the saying, the few for the many, or whatever.” He attempted to joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

Steve uses his free hand to put his locket of Peggy on the small ledge on one of the controls. Y/n temporarily lets go of Steve’s hand in order to stand up, Steve puts his hands on the console before looking up into y/n’s eyes, y/n smiles sadly and puts his hands on top of Steve’s, pushing down together. The aircraft took an immediate dive.

“Peggy.” He pauses, “I’m gonna need a rain check on the dance.”

“All right,” her voice quivers, “A week, next Saturday at the Stork Club.”

“You got it.” A tear falls out of his eye.

“Eight O'clock on the dot, don’t you dare be late. Understood?”

“You know I still don’t know how to dance.” He laughs, y/n smiles at him.

“I’ll show you how, just be there.”

“We’ll have the band play something slow,” Steve started, y/n felt like he shouldn’t be listening to this.

“I’d hate to step on your feet.”

“…” Something barely comes through but it’s intelligible, static taking over the whole system.

“Peg?” Steve sniffles, before looking at y/n for what he thinks is the last time.

…

Y/n’s eyes slowly blink open, squinting to adjust to the bright fluorescent lights, his nose filled with the strong smells of disinfectant and a cheap lavender candle. He groans pushing himself up to rest on his elbows, digging into the stiff bed, further taking in his surroundings, he sees Steve laying on another bed across the room - eyes also opening. He yawns, a soft pop in his ear, now hearing more clearly he notices a radio on Steve’s side of the room, it was some sort of sport (baseball most likely, based on his tone) announcer excitedly describing the game.

“You alright?” Steve asks, voice raspy.

“Yeah, I think so?” Y/n sounds unsure, throwing his legs over the side of the bed., “You?”

“I’m fine.” Steve replies half heartedly, staring down the radio.

A few beats of silence pass before y/n starts to talk again, “How-?”

He stops talking when a short pale woman opens the door and slowly makes her way in, she looks…off slightly. “Good morning,” she checks her watch, “or should I say afternoon.” She laughs softly at her own words.

“Where are we?” Steve asks with an accusatory tone.

“You’re in a recovery room in New York City.” Her eyes darted between the two men.

Steve looks at the radio once more, “Where are we really?” He says more harshly this time, almost threatening.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.” She smiles nervously, eyes now trained on Steve. Y/n looks over the room again, something is wrong about it but he just can’t put his finger on it.

“The game,” he gestures to the radio, “It’s from May 1941. I know because I was there.”

“Now I’m going to ask again, where are we?” He steps closer to her, y/n takes notice of a small orange light in her closed fist.

“Captain Rogers…” She steps back, looking at y/n almost as if she wanted him to help her.

“Who are you?” He states firmly, his captain tone coming out.

“Steve - her hand!” Y/n yelps once he gains an idea of its possible function, Steve looks at it, but before he can take it a few men dressed up in military gear storm the room.

Y/n quickly stands up, watching Steve take care of the men like it was his day job (which it kind of was). Steve throws one of them through the wall on the left side of the door, creating a void for them to move through. Y/n and Steve move in the direction of their exit with no hesitation, they enter a barren looking warehouse, only the fake recovery room in the middle of it. Steve grabs y/n’s hand to pull him faster, a sensation y/n has gotten so very used to.

“Captain Rogers! Y/t y/l! Wait!”

They exit the warehouse and enter a lobby of what feels like a dystopian sci-fi book, they slow down for a split second to look around at this new strange environment. A loud announcement echoes throughout the building, “All agents! Code thirteen!” Dozens of men turn to them, almost robotically, start running at them. They take off in a full fledged sprint (at least y/n does, Steve slows a bit so as to not rip y/n’s arm off) , out of the building.

The road they end up on is scarier than the building, bright billboards line the streets, except they move around, lights flashing. Cars honked at them paired with swearing and screaming, the cars themselves in all kinds of different shapes and sizes, one specific car swerving in front of them, effectively blocking them from moving farther down the street. A rather bald, dark man steps out of the vehicle, a black eye patch wrapped around his head, he slowly steps toward the two men - hands out like you would a dog who one isn’t sure is safe.

“At ease soldiers!” He calls out, y/n and Steve looking at each other to silently communicate what they were going to do; they decide to hear him out. “Look I’m sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly.”

“Break what?” The men say in unison.

“You’ve both been asleep,” he pauses to look them both up and down, “ for almost seventy years.”

Both y/n’s and Steve’s minds stop working. Y/n feels his heart race out of his chest, he looks at Steve whose eyes are jumping from place to place around the street, “You two gonna be okay?” The mysterious man asks softly, real concern present.

“Yeah.” “No.” Steve and y/n say at the same time, they all look to y/n who sighs loudly, “I will be though…I guess.” He mumbles the last part but Steve still hears him and he laughs quietly at his friend.

The man smiles, “How about we take a ride?” He offers, y/n and Steve accept cautiously.

| MARVEL MASTERLIST |

[eekshade]

Death

Bucky Barnes x m!reader

Word Count: 3338

Warnings/Info: (Heavy) internalized homophobia, tried to make it sad, sexual comments in reader’s head, I don’t know much about the military much less the military in the 40s, I tried to make it as accurate as possible without putting too much time into it, first part of 3?, discontinued

Part Two

Y/n and Bucky are preparing dinner while in an overall sad attempt to catch up; something the two men haven’t really been able to do in a long time, though there’s not much to talk about other than the war. Bucky is leaning against a nearby wall as y/n chops vegetables into small pieces, preparing them for a shepherd’s pie.

“I should find out where I get stationed in around a week or so, as long as nothing happens of course.” Bucky shares with a sigh, he looks rather strange, he looked sad but it was mixed with something else, something y/n couldn’t put his finger on.

Y/n hums in response before slowly adding, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky wears an all too bright smile, anyone older than a day can tell he knows exactly what y/n meant, but he decides to let it go.

“Y’know, like, are you okay?” Y/n momentarily pauses the chopping, and instead turns his whole body toward Bucky.

“Oh,” he looks disappointed that y/n didn’t just wave him off, with a simple never mind. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” He mumbles a quick but insincere thank you.

Y/n nods softly, and turns back to what he was doing prior, as clear as it is that something is eating him up, y/n knows Bucky. He knows that Bucky (even if he wants to) won’t talk about his emotions in full depth, the only time he could see Bucky talking like that is if he’s moments away from death's door, but maybe even then he still would probably keep some things to himself.

“I just…” He quietly starts, dragging y/n out of his thoughts. He looks over to Bucky confused, Bucky already staring at y/n’s face as the two make eye contact, tears brim Bucky’s eyes, “I just don’t want to think about it right now, if that’s alright.” As quickly as he started, he stopped.

“Of course that’s fine.” Y/n tries to hide the disappointment in his voice, he honoring Bucky’s wish then waves him over and assigns him a few little tasks to try and keep him busy.

The two finish dinner in a comfortable, blue tinted silence. Y/n is setting up the small table in the corner of the kitchen and with one last glass set upon the table he gracefully (and dramatically) bows to show Bucky that he has finished his own tasks. Y/n’s head rises with a bright smile, the smile quickly disappears like a person in a chaotic crowd at the sight of Bucky, he is watching y/n, tears once again present in his eyes.

Y/n doesn’t know what to do, he knows that Bucky would want him to ignore it and move on like nothing happened, but he can’t in good conscience do that. So he slowly moves closer to Bucky, standing in front of him, he takes Bucky’s left hand into his own. Neither of them say or do anything for a few brief seconds, y/n watches as Bucky blinks causing the first tear to roll down his already red cheek, a few more follow suit and Bucky then, without meaning to, let out a pathetic whine. The sound causes y/n to move closer to Bucky, using their connected hands to pull him into a hug; this action is the breaking point for Bucky as he completely breaks down into y/n’s arms, Bucky’s head rests in the crook of y/n’s neck, tears wetting y/n’s skin and shirt.

The hug gets tighter as Bucky’s legs slightly give out, y/n holds him up as a few tears fall down his own face. Y/n can’t help but think about his own pain, his own stupid pain that finds its way to consume him whenever he’s just a little too close to Bucky. He tries to not think about it, as he finds that the more he thinks about it, the more comfortable he gets with the idea. The idea of loving Bucky, caring for him, cherishing him, holding him, kissing him, fucking him. God, he’s so fucked up, his best friend is about to be shipped off to who knows were and all he can think about his is own sick and selfish desires, he should be locked up where no one could find him. The worst part about it all is that he loves to think about it, he loves to daydream about it as he gets ready in the morning, when walks to work in the morning, when he’s working, when he walks home from work, when he eats, when he sleeps. He tries not to, he really does, it's just so hard when God’s most precious creation is always right there with him.

Y/n’s guilt forces him to at least acknowledge the sobbing Bucky in his arms, he runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair muttering soft words of comfort into Bucky’s ear. Bucky’s sobs slow to a stop after a few minutes of this, and he pulls away from y/n, only slightly so the two aren’t hugging anymore, but they’re still close enough for y/n to hear Bucky’s soft pants as he tries to stabilize his breathing.

Bucky has a look of regret when he locks eyes with y/n, this makes y/n feel as though he was being stabbed with a dull blade, but it got caught on something so it couldn’t go all the way through, now it just sits inside him.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky whispered as he looked to his feet and then back up at y/n, “I shouldn’t have dumped that all on you.” Bucky laughed to try and make it sound like a joke but he couldn’t bring himself to add any warmth to it.

“It’s fine Buck.” Y/n offered him a smile, it was more than fine he thought, but decided against actually saying it.

“No, I’m over here crying like a baby, when I should be, god, I don’t know, doing anything else.” He attempts to smile but it doesn’t quite make it all the way there, so it ends up looking more like a wince.

“Buck seriously it’s okay, it’s good to get it out every once in a while.” Y/n unconsciously takes a small step forward. Bucky hums, but y/n can tell he still doesn’t agree.

“So, you still don’t wanna talk about it?” Y/n asks but before Bucky can say anything adds, “I know it’s not really your style, and I respect that, but I think it’ll help.”

Bucky seems to think about it for a second before responding, “I can, if it’ll make you feel better.” Y/n knows he's just trying to deflect, but why not let him have it?

“Yeah, it would make me feel so much better.” Y/n laughs quietly.

Bucky takes a few steps back and leans against a wall, he starts to think for a moment on what to say, and his eyes gloss over once again, this makes him feel vulnerable and weak, he has to keep reminding himself that it’s just y/n but that only seems to make it worse. He crosses his arms as a way to close himself off from y/n, as a way to protect himself against the very possible ridicule that comes with what he's about to say. “I don’t wanna die.” His voice is quiet and trembling, half way through the sentence his voice broke. Y/n moves to take him back into his arms but he rejects the offer, hugging himself tighter.

“I don’t wanna die,” he repeats, slightly more confident than before, but still weak.

“I know Buck, but it’ll be okay. Everything will be f-,” Y/n attempts to comfort him but he cuts him off firmly, “Y/n.”

“Yeah Buck?” The way y/n’s eyes looked so concerned, so glossy, so perfect, it gave Bucky the extra push.

“I don’t want to die, because then I won't be able to come home to you, I won’t be able to cook with you, or rather you cook and I pretend to be helpful,” he laughs, a real heartfelt laugh, “I won’t be able to go on stupid little adventures to nowhere, I won't be able to, hell, cry into your neck like I’ve never had anything bad happen to me before.”

“I won’t have you, and that’s not okay.” He finishes his short, bittersweet rant.

Y/n’s eyes widen and his heart rate speeds up to a concerning amount, it takes him a little bit to process and once he does he’s smiling ear to ear. The smile falters slightly at the sight of Bucky looking at anything but him, tears running down his face.

“Buck…” Y/n softly calls out to him. Seeing how y/n hasn’t hit him or ran out the door yet, he against his better judgment, looks up at y/n.

“Bucky, I’ll be here. You just have to come back.” Y/n whispers.

“I know that y/n,” Bucky looks at him worried, “I don’t think you’re understanding me.”

“Then help me understand James.” Y/n responds exasperated, tears threatening to fall, Bucky flinched slightly at the use of his first name. “I need you to say it.” Y/n’s heart felt like it was going to give out.

“I love you y/n.” Bucky cried out softly, “God, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“I love you too.” Bucky doesn’t believe what he's heard, did he really mean it or was he just saying that?

Y/n closes in on him, arms open, this time Bucky accepts the offer. The hug was brief as y/n pulled away to look at Bucky’s face, “Stop apologizing for having emotions, okay?” Bucky nods slightly in return, but the expression on his face seems to be elsewhere, y/n compulsively brings his hands up to Bucky’s face, using his thumbs to wipe away the wet drops still present. Bucky gently grabs y/n’s wrists, which now rest on his jaw, and he uses them to lull y/n in closer to him.

The kiss takes y/n by surprise, he knows he shouldn’t, he knows it’s wrong, but hell it feels too good to stop. It started out slow and sweet, a way to test the waters, but the ever present dread that Bucky will be gone soon makes it hard to keep it that way. Y/n’s hands found their way into Bucky’s hair, teeth clashing together as the salty taste from the dried tears from the pair's lips filled their mouths. Both men seemed to forget their problems as they somehow drew closer together, Bucky’s hands ended up on y/n’s waist under his shirt trailing up and down the soft skin.

The blissful warmth lasted for a few minutes at the very least, before they heard the noise of what seemed to be very drunk men loudly laughing and yelling at each other on the street below. Y/n pulled away from Bucky at the sound looking quite fearful, he calmed fast when he realized that they couldn’t be seen from the windows, Bucky realizing the same thing, walked over to each of the windows in the kitchen and closed the curtains.

Y/n watched as Bucky did so, his mind filling with thoughts of regret and disgust. He felt like he needed to take a shower, like he needed to shred his skin off, like he needed to be thrown into a dumpster. His thoughts were bad enough all on their own, now he had to deal with his actions. He wanted to run away but he had enough sense to not do that to Bucky, it's not his fault, he was just corrupted. On the other hand he told Bucky to not apologize for his emotions, so why should he? He's been dealing with this long enough to know that it's not going to go away, and if Bucky’s fine with it, why not just give in?

Y/n’s internal fight could go on for days, but was cut short when Bucky turned back toward him, Bucky was smiling nervously. “The food is probably cold now.” Bucky laughed as he motioned for y/n to come sit with him. The two stayed together for the rest of the night, letting the thoughts of the outside world completely drift away.

…

Over the next week they found out that Bucky was being stationed with the 107th regiment, on Bucky’s last day the little group, composed of Bucky, Steve, and y/n all went to the World Exposition of Tomorrow (Bucky’s choice). The night was over faster than anyone would have liked, and with that Bucky was gone. It didn’t really help y/n that Steve, otherwise known as y/n’s only current support, somehow found a way to weasel his way into enlistment and was now also going off to fight. Of course y/n also had his responsibilities, he enlisted for the coast guard, he mostly worked in the security operations center, so he never really got deployed.

…

It has been around two maybe two and a half years since Bucky and Steve went off, y/n has sent them both letters every once in a while and vise versa, but not as much as they probably should have. Y/n was able to keep up with them in a way, with Steve’s whole new Captain America thing. Y/n was at work, filling out a file on a recent operation when a young, brunette woman appeared at the side of his desk. It had been a long time since he’d seen her last, and the times he had interacted with her were usually less than a minute or two, so it had taken him a second to figure out who it was.

“Becca?” He asked with a head tilt, “Is everything okay?” Y/n didn’t have to ask, he knew there was only one reason why she’d be here, and based on her sorrowful demeanor, he knew he was right.

“How about we talk in a more private area.” She offered, a sad smile wavered across her lips.

“Yeah, I got somewhere we could go.” Y/n stood and led her towards a storage closet, before they went in he could hear a few of his colleagues whistle behind him, this made Becca look uncomfortable and he wanted to shield her in some way.

He opened the closet door, “After you.” The smile was supposed to be playful but the dread of knowing what comes next stopped it from doing so.

“I’m sorry y/n.” Becca sniffled once the door was closed behind them, “James told me about the two of you before he left, so I thought I should at the very least tell you in person.” Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

“He told you?” Y/n asked, trying to keep the conversation from going away from the point, he isn’t ready.

“Yeah, came to me ‘round three or so days before he left. He didn’t say it was you but a girl has eyes.” She panicked slightly, “Not to say you’re being obvious or anything, I just know my brother.” She sniffles again.

“There’s no easy way to tell you-,”

“Then don’t.” His tone was standoffish and almost cruel, y/n knew this but the tears that were now forming in his eyes seemed to soften it a little.

She sighed, “I get it. I mean I know it’s different but I get it.” Y/n wanted to thank her but he didn’t think he could say anything without whimpering, so he opted for a weak smile.

After a few moments of trying to breathe he finally choked out, “How? Do you know?”

“No, do you want to know what they told us?” She questioned, looking rather angry now, “Killed in combat, like that helps us at all.” She laughed bitterly.

“It just hurts so much. My brother died and they can’t even tell me how or why.”

Y/n opens his arms to her and they both embrace, crying together.

…

It had only been a few days since Becca had come to visit, y/n was sitting at his desk, reading a file for his next assignment when the phone started to loudly ring, already cursed with a headache from how frequently he’d be crying, he groans, his clear disinterest made one of his colleagues to look up and softly laugh at the man’s pain. Y/n gathers up all of his courage before picking up the phone and placing it on his ear.

“Hello, l/n speaking.” He slowly slid down the back of his chair, staring at the ceiling.

“Hi y/n, long time.” The person on the other end stated in a neutral tone.

Y/n’s posture straightened out immediately, “Steve?” He asked excitedly.

“No, this is Constance Bennett.” Steve joked.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry Connie I wasn’t expecting you to call ‘till later.” Y/n was trying to hide the smile that was now eating up his entire face, his coworker was now looking at him rather funny.

“Seriously though man, it’s good to hear from you.” Y/n added on.

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry for not writing more often. Just have had a lot goin’ on.”

“Yeah I’m sure,” y/n laughs, “so…do you always wear the suit or is it a camera only thing?”

“That’s confidential.” Steve says in a deadpan tone, before they both start laughing. It takes them around a minute to calm down, once they do neither talk for a while, stuck in a very uncomfortable silence.

“…”

“…”

Deciding that someone has to take the initiative Steve starts to talk, ”Y/n, do you…know?” It’s sad and it hurts Steve to ask, but he needs it to get out of the way.

“Yeah I do, well I don’t know the details of it, but Becca swung by a few days ago to tell me.” He says slowly, trying to keep his voice leveled.

“That’s good, that’s good you know.” Steve would never say it, but he’s relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to tell him.

“So is that why you called? To tell me?”

“No, well yes, but no.” Steve stuttered out, “God just give me a second.” He was breathing softly into the phone for a few moments, deciding how he should word this.

“I need your help y/n.” He finally stated.

“Alright with what?”

“This is going to be a lot to ask, so I understand if you can’t or don’t want to.” Steve says trying everything he can to make this sound reasonable.

“Okay? Just tell me, I won’t hang up, I swear it.” Y/n softly pries.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Put in for a transfer. It’ll go through, I’ll make sure it does. I’m almost done with my current mission, but with Buck,” he stops for a moment, “with Buck gone, I don’t think I can do this.” Even though y/n couldn’t see him, he knew Steve was crying.

“I’m sorry for springing this on you out of nowhere, I just didn’t know where else to go. You’re all I have.” Steve’s voice cracks slightly.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Y/n responds with a concerning lack of hesitation.

“Really?”

“Of course Steve, I got you, you know that right?”

“Thank you.” His voice is soft, but y/n can feel the warmth off of it, even an ocean away.

“Anytime.”

The smile that crosses y/n’s face is bittersweet, he knows why he really agreed. While yes, a part of it was for his close friend, in all reality he truly was just ready to see Bucky again.

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