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Spot the difference (makes me sob my eyes out edition)

[ellsarchive]

Theo Nott Headcannons!! *.•

*.-{{ellsarchive}}-.*

Rebelogs are appreciated <3!!

Either sleeps for at least half of the day or never sleeps at all. This man has never had a normal nights sleep.

—> once, the Slytherins won the house cup. I kid you not when I tell you he didn’t sleep for two days and then slept for 20 hours straight.

Has never been angry in English

—> stubs his toe? Italian. Betrayed? Italian. Someone acting up? ITALIAN.

His arm WILL be around you at all times times whether you like it or not. Whether that’s an arm around your shoulders as you walk through the halls, a hand on your waist when you sit together, or arms wrapped around you as you sleep, is for you to find out.

Actually very loyal when in a relationship, but if he’s hung up on you whilst single he’s the most promiscuous man known to the wizarding world. It’s one of few distractions, in his eyes.

Speaks to you in Italian, saying the words he can’t bring himself to tell you in a way you’ll understand (assuming you don’t speak the language).

He knew he was in love when he found himself scribbling words on to a paper, his quill seeming to know nothing but your name and the way his soul screams it.

—> he’s never considered himself much of a writer. He took up the hobby after falling for you.

His mother taught him to play the piano as a child.

I wouldn’t say he “didn’t believe in love” before you, moreso he wasn’t sure if it was made for him. If he was meant for it. You made him feel so wrong.

Struggles with depression, it gets especially worse when his dad reaches out more.

He cried in the washroom when you took him to meet your parents.

—> your dad loved you despite you taking different paths than him, and your mother is still there. There’s nothing more to ask for. ‘Maybe that’s why he turned out him and you turned out you.’

—> Not long after, he received another letter from his father, and found himself crying into your arms for hours. He couldn’t even explain why, but you didn’t ask. You just held him. In that moment, he was sure his mother had brought you to him.

Offers you a smoke whenever he lights one, but not necessarily because he wants you to take it. He just feels wrong if he’s not offering you what he has.

Actually really nice, despite his sarcasm and apparent coldness. That may be who he seems to be, but anyone who bothers to look further will see what lies beneath.

Not necessarily quiet, but the most reserved of the group. Everyone knows him, but barely anyone knows him.

Lwk Noah (the notebook) coded, but in the “Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.” Way.

Reads when he actually has the time, like when the dorms aren’t being used like a frat house and his life actually seems normal. He keeps it to himself, though.

Ended up buying his own first aid kit because you were always in his dorm patching him up.

—> what can he say, though? Mattheo’s always fighting, and he’d be a bad friend not to jump in. Don’t even get him started on when he fights for you, either.

When he fights, no emotion is poured into it. Instead of red hot anger that shoots through his veins and into his knuckles, he’s ice. Face straight as he beats men into the infirmary.

Dresses like if Jacob Elordi, David Beckham, and Brad Pitt had a fashion baby.

Never makes his bed (he’s not leaving it half of the time anyway)

Always says his favourite food is pasta but will DEVOUR a grilled cheese like no other

Loves chocolate chip cookies, holds a particular hatred for oatmeal cookies.

Dreams of people he loves being ripped away from him, and all he can do is beg for it not to happen.

—> sleep talks. Sometimes you’ll hear his faint pleads, and all you can do is hold him tighter and hope it ends soon. You never mention it after because he’d be embarrassed.

A broken, broken boy whose light shines through the breaks in his heart. He’s scared to glue it back together in case it will block out the light, but you’ve made him sure you’ll shine through him no matter what.

“Blue - Billie Eilish”

_.•*

Also please comment recs for a playlist I’m making for him, or if you’d like more! <33

[ellsarchive]

The edits aren’t enough I need him injected into my veins

[ellsarchive]

Ken Sato HC’s (extremely random) *.• (sfw)

Writing this instead of part two of starcrossed 😭

Calls you “doll.” It started off sarcastic, like when he was teasing you or something of the sort. It soon became an unironic part of his vocabulary, now a common name between you two.

Speaking of pet names, also calls you “baby.”

PDA guy, but lowkey. Like an arm around you or a hand on your lower back, subtle claims and displays to show you off.

(Someone else said this and it was too true not to repeat) He bites. Whether that means nibbling your skin playfully or sinking his teeth into you is up to your interpretation.

Sometimes he leans down to hear you better, to kiss you, etc. and his dog tags hang in your face.

Refers to you as “my girl” in interviews and when telling people about you

Takes a long time for him to feel like he can show emotion around you. It took countless reassurances and a lot of love, but strangely enough, he finds comfort in knowing you’ve seen that side of him. You saw it and still stayed.

The type to dance with you in the living room to disgustingly sappy music (even when your laughter is much louder than the song)

Listener.

Unless he has something important, you will never catch this man in something other than sweats or his baseball uniform.

Knows he’s attractive, but doesn’t try too hard to seem so. He knows certain things he does are attractive and he does them, but doesn’t try to make them attractive, you know?

The cocky act isn’t ENTIRELY a front. Of course it’s mostly a show for the fans, but he’s a sarcastic man at heart.

No minute goes by that he doesn’t have a snarky comment

Except for when he’s with you.

He’s nicer when he’s with you.

Low spice tolerance (America did its number on him)

Likes to watch projections of his old life with you, pointing out little details and meanings behind things that couldn’t be seen. He loves teaching you about who he was before you.

So clingy when he’s tired. If you try to get out of bed it feels like you have chains holding you in your place. His determination is almost terrifying. Also much less sarcastic, his most sincere words have been spoken when he’s half asleep.

Speaking of which, the first time he told you he loved you was when you were cuddled up, falling asleep. He let it slip without realizing, his eyes shutting the moment he said it. His last memory of that night is your faint voice saying “I love you” as his dreams took over.

Will DESTROY a carton of milk in the middle of the night if he’s thirsty (he usually only uses it for cereal)

Likes to binge TV shows with you when he gets the chance. What’s a better way to spend a rainy day than to be lazy and escape from this world with the person he loves most?

Had a dog growing up

Nothing is safe from the heinous amounts of soy sauce he puts on his food. One bite would kill a Victorian child

Was actually really nervous about being in a committed relationship. Luckily, you being his saviour, helped him every step of the way. He’s changed so many ways since meeting you, one of them being the absence of the walls he had built.

Puts a hand on the back of your neck when he hugs you

Car guy (as hinted by his collection of cars in the movie)

Sometimes falls asleep on your chest, body in between your legs, and wakes up having no idea where he is.

Wishes he had more pictures of you, but always forgets to take them.

Always wins his games when you come to them. Seeing you in the stands is the highlight of the game, not the win.

MEAN side eye. Could kill a man with ts

Is 100% sure that he’ll never love another the way he loves you. He’s certain.

Thinks of you when he sees corny romance movies

Was genuinely surprised when you first told him you loved him (when he was awake this time). When he realized how real it all was, he was confused. He didn’t know someone could see all the bad parts of him and still really, really love him.

Once he got over the doubt, he was proud.

Felt pathetic when he first realized how much he loved you. The way he couldn’t get you out of his head was unfamiliar, and your effect on him was so much more than anyone else has had. It frustrated him to no end.

Loves trying new food places with you

Sometimes jumps a little when he sees you out of the corner of his eye, someone else in his house so often still new to him.

Doesn’t cry easily

Cried while watching titanic with his mom when he was little

[ellsarchive]

Starcrossed - Empty Shadows ★·.·`¯´·.

Series Masterlist *.•

Words: 1990

Summary: when the universe wants to rip you apart, can you find it in yourself to pick up the pieces?

Warnings: singular use of [y/n]

Note: Note: wasn’t planning on posting this so soon because WHY IS THE EPILOGUE FLOPPING AHHHG. I’m aware it’s probably just bad luck or my lack of followers because I’m so new but damn bru 🌝. Writing part two soon, hopefully more things will actually happen next chapter !! It won’t be boring after this trust

He’s been dreaming about you lately.

Every night, actually. You have him constantly waking up in a cold sweat, distressed and exhausted, yet you’re not even there. How do you have such an effect on him, even when you’re worlds away?

Ever since he left America, left you, life has seemed like a never ending cycle of longing. Longing for his old life, his mother, his team, and you, the presence in which he found comfort in on so many lonely nights.

It was his first day of school in the U.S.A. Little Kenji had gone through his whole morning feeling the eyes on him, hearing the whispers around him from the kids who thought he was different, strange, some may even consider him alien. As he nervously opened up his lunch box, the stares seemed to intensify tenfold. Their whispers surrounded him like a cage, trapping him and enclosing him to a doom of never ending judgement.

That was until you came along.

You popped down beside him, your pigtails swinging around as you turned your head to smile at him. You leaned into him, looking down at his lunch, and he dreaded that his first possible friend was about to be like the others.

To his surprise, all you did was look up at him, an innocent curiosity shining in your eyes.

“What’s that?” You asked, but it was different from the other kids. You had this lightness to your voice, like you weren’t disgusted by his food. By him.

Taken by surprise, Kenji stuttered out a response, “Um- it’s tofu and rice.”

Your little self had never heard of tofu, but its foreignness didn’t matter to you as much as how yummy it looked did.

“Did your mommy make it for you?”

Kenji gave you a curt nod, still unsure if you had any malice behind your words.

He could feel himself warming up to you as you continued, even starting to think that he might have a friend.

“Ooo! We should have a playdate, and maybe I can try some! My mommy only makes me sandwiches,” you smiled again, missing teeth on display, shining sunlight on Kenji in this dimly lit cafeteria. His mother always said to never look at the sun, but all he did now was ogle at the way you beamed.

He had definitely made a friend.

From the moment you sat down next to him, not-so-toothy smile and all, Kenji’s soul has become unable to rest without the feeling of you near. Nearly twenty years after that moment and he can count on his fingers how many times he’s been without you, and nearly all of them have been because of baseball.

Even as you matured, teeth growing in and the people around you changing, you and Kenji were the only constant thing in each others lives (excluding family, of course). Sitting on the sidelines and watching him play baseball, late night talks on the field, admiring each other from across the room when it seemed as if nobody else was there. Every routine the two of you had set for yourselves included each other, and now that was messed up. Being ripped away from your best friend who you’ve been glued at the hip to isn’t something easily adjusted to.

Practicing doesn’t feel the same without you there. You aren’t there to cheer, to make sarcastic remarks on the rare occasion that he misses, not there to smile at him and support him, even when he isn’t looking. You were always the reason he succeeded, even if you could be the reason he missed sometimes. It’s easy to be distracted by your face, and in his opinion, it’s almost disrespectful to not admire something so worthy of admiration.

A warm summer night on the baseball field, nobody but the two of you casting shadows under the blinding stadium lights. The moment was so simple, two teens dressed in pyjamas and filling the air with their laughs until shouts through windows and lights flickering on silenced you. You were so content, whether the night was filled with sounds of your laughter or the sound of Kenji’s bat hitting the ball. He’s good at this, really good, you think. He’s already famous for a highschool player. He’s got a real future ahead of him. You could imagine it, thousands of people chanting for him as home base calls his name. Hopefully, you’d be there too, screaming his name louder than all of the crowd combined.

“You ever play baseball, [y/n]?” Kenji asked, disrupting your daydreaming with a grin. He knew you hadn’t. He knows everything about you that there is to know. To him, playing dumb could be necessary sometimes, times like then. He found it more convenient.

You were barely shaking your head before he was jogging over to you, looking down at you with his bat in hand.

“Let me teach you.”

-

Bat in hand, you were sure Ken was laughing at the way you shrunk into yourself. You looked like you were about to collapse on the base, shielding your face with your arms and barely holding onto the bat at all, let alone correctly. Kenji, being such a fantastic friend, couldn’t just let you sit there and struggle, right? So, he helped you. That’s what friends do.

His body was warm against you as he stood behind you, positioning himself in a way that completely enveloped you with his body. He’d grown a lot recently, body becoming more firm and his once chubby cheeks now revealing the bones that lied beneath. Being a teenage girl who spent every moment with him, you didn’t fail to notice. His hands over yours, the two of you moving as one as he directed you on what do to. You swallowed harshly, trying to push down the burning hot sensation on your face and focus on what he’s trying to teach you. If only he didn’t make it so hard, his every muscle flexing against you as he moved your arms with his, speaking into your ear with a certain warmness and focus.

“Mhm, and then you wanna swing, just like that.”

When he reached down to your waist and moved it to the position he thought correct, you nearly flinched away in surprise. His fingers were hot, radiating heat through the loose T-shirt you wore and nearly leaving burn marks on your skin. It wasn’t like you’d never touched before, in fact, you’re more touchy than what’s socially accepted. Touchy enough that new dating rumours seem to resurface every week. It was just something about right now that made you want to get a lighter and burn your skin until you could replicate the way his hands felt, the artwork forever scarring you. You barely remembered where you were and what you were doing, and he noticed. Luckily, Ken continued with nothing but an odd glance.

-

Ken’s excitement when you first hit the ball is something you won’t ever forget. The happiness, pride, and admiration in his eyes as they shone brighter than the lights around you is a sight that you swear changed your brain chemistry. He seemed to drown everything out as he ran with you across the bases, the two of you laughing and celebrating something so simple. You thought of nothing but to keep moving your legs, the sound of your shoes padding against the ground the only thing anchoring you to this world. He was everything. And as he looked fondly in to your eyes and smiled, saying something stupidly on brand for Kenji with that dumb smile tugging at his lips, you realized that maybe you were his everything too.

Even as Kenji drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen, he can’t escape you. He thinks about the countless times you had dinner at his house, how his mother would laugh with you and stare at you knowingly when your attention shifted to him. The way his mother would hug you as you left, how sometimes he’d come home to you and his mother watching movies together, and the way he’d feel so WARM on the inside when he laid his eyes upon the sights. The two greatest people in his lives bonding. The two greatest people in his lives, not in his life anymore.

Shoving his face into his hands, Kenji wonders if you’ve cursed him. Sentenced him to an eternity of longing, being haunted by his memories no matter where he goes or how far he runs. Day and night, you’re there. His best friend. The girl who introduced him to the entire world he grew up in. The soul that he fell so pathetically in love with that he couldn’t even put it into words, not even as he got into the airplane that would take him away with no return, the burden of being Ultraman weighing on the intensity of the departure. Ken Sato isn’t the type to fall in love, not like this. The fact that he’s loved you from the first time he saw you, how he’s felt like you were a breath of air in the midst of smoke, the way he’s craved to give you everything he has, to give you himself, may beg to differ.

You have always been together. One. Interlinked. Now, the only way he ever sees you is in the dead of night, his mind somehow finding ways to bring you back to him. You used to be everywhere, shining your light on him so much that he couldn’t process it as it happened. Only as he lie awake in bed could he find time to think about you, to long for you, to resent you for making him feel so pathetic. You didn’t even try, and you had him wanting to knock down every single wall that he had managed to keep up with you. He always knew that if he just took you, he’d have you. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Things could change, he could get hurt. So Ken continued to relish in that life even when he craved for more, the life he thought would never change. Now, you’re 5 thousand miles away and he wishes he just told you. So many nights alone under the stars, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Even when you fell asleep together, holding each other like you wanted to consume the other, neither of you took your chance. It’s over now, your lives isolated and hearts lonely.

Your only way of seeing him is the rare occasion he shows up on TV, which has only been once so far. Even that one time, you didn’t fail to notice the faint tiredness on his face and the longing in his eyes when asked about his old life. You only noticed because you felt it too. Not for your old life, but for him. Your best friend. The love of your fucking life. Even if you had the guts to call him, the times in LA and Tokyo are opposite, and with Ken’s busy schedule you’d have no knowledge of when is free for him to talk. You don’t realize that he’d drop everything he was doing if your name popped up on his screen. It feels as if the world is desperate to pull him away from you, and you can’t compose yourself knowing it. You covet for the sound of his voice, holding yourself and closing your eyes, hoping that you can still draw out the lines of his face and feel fulfilled in the gaping hole he left you with as he got on that plane.

Neither of you have it in yourselves to reach out, not after the way you parted. So you live with the gaping pit in your chest, hoping that one day he’ll remember you and come home to fill it.

[ellsarchive]

Starcrossed - Empty Shadows ★·.·`¯´·.

Series Masterlist *.•

Words: 1990

Summary: when the universe wants to rip you apart, can you find it in yourself to pick up the pieces?

Warnings: singular use of [y/n]

Note: Note: wasn’t planning on posting this so soon because WHY IS THE EPILOGUE FLOPPING AHHHG. I’m aware it’s probably just bad luck or my lack of followers because I’m so new but damn bru 🌝. Writing part two soon, hopefully more things will actually happen next chapter !! It won’t be boring after this trust

He’s been dreaming about you lately.

Every night, actually. You have him constantly waking up in a cold sweat, distressed and exhausted, yet you’re not even there. How do you have such an effect on him, even when you’re worlds away?

Ever since he left America, left you, life has seemed like a never ending cycle of longing. Longing for his old life, his mother, his team, and you, the presence in which he found comfort in on so many lonely nights.

It was his first day of school in the U.S.A. Little Kenji had gone through his whole morning feeling the eyes on him, hearing the whispers around him from the kids who thought he was different, strange, some may even consider him alien. As he nervously opened up his lunch box, the stares seemed to intensify tenfold. Their whispers surrounded him like a cage, trapping him and enclosing him to a doom of never ending judgement.

That was until you came along.

You popped down beside him, your pigtails swinging around as you turned your head to smile at him. You leaned into him, looking down at his lunch, and he dreaded that his first possible friend was about to be like the others.

To his surprise, all you did was look up at him, an innocent curiosity shining in your eyes.

“What’s that?” You asked, but it was different from the other kids. You had this lightness to your voice, like you weren’t disgusted by his food. By him.

Taken by surprise, Kenji stuttered out a response, “Um- it’s tofu and rice.”

Your little self had never heard of tofu, but its foreignness didn’t matter to you as much as how yummy it looked did.

“Did your mommy make it for you?”

Kenji gave you a curt nod, still unsure if you had any malice behind your words.

He could feel himself warming up to you as you continued, even starting to think that he might have a friend.

“Ooo! We should have a playdate, and maybe I can try some! My mommy only makes me sandwiches,” you smiled again, missing teeth on display, shining sunlight on Kenji in this dimly lit cafeteria. His mother always said to never look at the sun, but all he did now was ogle at the way you beamed.

He had definitely made a friend.

From the moment you sat down next to him, not-so-toothy smile and all, Kenji’s soul has become unable to rest without the feeling of you near. Nearly twenty years after that moment and he can count on his fingers how many times he’s been without you, and nearly all of them have been because of baseball.

Even as you matured, teeth growing in and the people around you changing, you and Kenji were the only constant thing in each others lives (excluding family, of course). Sitting on the sidelines and watching him play baseball, late night talks on the field, admiring each other from across the room when it seemed as if nobody else was there. Every routine the two of you had set for yourselves included each other, and now that was messed up. Being ripped away from your best friend who you’ve been glued at the hip to isn’t something easily adjusted to.

Practicing doesn’t feel the same without you there. You aren’t there to cheer, to make sarcastic remarks on the rare occasion that he misses, not there to smile at him and support him, even when he isn’t looking. You were always the reason he succeeded, even if you could be the reason he missed sometimes. It’s easy to be distracted by your face, and in his opinion, it’s almost disrespectful to not admire something so worthy of admiration.

A warm summer night on the baseball field, nobody but the two of you casting shadows under the blinding stadium lights. The moment was so simple, two teens dressed in pyjamas and filling the air with their laughs until shouts through windows and lights flickering on silenced you. You were so content, whether the night was filled with sounds of your laughter or the sound of Kenji’s bat hitting the ball. He’s good at this, really good, you think. He’s already famous for a highschool player. He’s got a real future ahead of him. You could imagine it, thousands of people chanting for him as home base calls his name. Hopefully, you’d be there too, screaming his name louder than all of the crowd combined.

“You ever play baseball, [y/n]?” Kenji asked, disrupting your daydreaming with a grin. He knew you hadn’t. He knows everything about you that there is to know. To him, playing dumb could be necessary sometimes, times like then. He found it more convenient.

You were barely shaking your head before he was jogging over to you, looking down at you with his bat in hand.

“Let me teach you.”

-

Bat in hand, you were sure Ken was laughing at the way you shrunk into yourself. You looked like you were about to collapse on the base, shielding your face with your arms and barely holding onto the bat at all, let alone correctly. Kenji, being such a fantastic friend, couldn’t just let you sit there and struggle, right? So, he helped you. That’s what friends do.

His body was warm against you as he stood behind you, positioning himself in a way that completely enveloped you with his body. He’d grown a lot recently, body becoming more firm and his once chubby cheeks now revealing the bones that lied beneath. Being a teenage girl who spent every moment with him, you didn’t fail to notice. His hands over yours, the two of you moving as one as he directed you on what do to. You swallowed harshly, trying to push down the burning hot sensation on your face and focus on what he’s trying to teach you. If only he didn’t make it so hard, his every muscle flexing against you as he moved your arms with his, speaking into your ear with a certain warmness and focus.

“Mhm, and then you wanna swing, just like that.”

When he reached down to your waist and moved it to the position he thought correct, you nearly flinched away in surprise. His fingers were hot, radiating heat through the loose T-shirt you wore and nearly leaving burn marks on your skin. It wasn’t like you’d never touched before, in fact, you’re more touchy than what’s socially accepted. Touchy enough that new dating rumours seem to resurface every week. It was just something about right now that made you want to get a lighter and burn your skin until you could replicate the way his hands felt, the artwork forever scarring you. You barely remembered where you were and what you were doing, and he noticed. Luckily, Ken continued with nothing but an odd glance.

-

Ken’s excitement when you first hit the ball is something you won’t ever forget. The happiness, pride, and admiration in his eyes as they shone brighter than the lights around you is a sight that you swear changed your brain chemistry. He seemed to drown everything out as he ran with you across the bases, the two of you laughing and celebrating something so simple. You thought of nothing but to keep moving your legs, the sound of your shoes padding against the ground the only thing anchoring you to this world. He was everything. And as he looked fondly in to your eyes and smiled, saying something stupidly on brand for Kenji with that dumb smile tugging at his lips, you realized that maybe you were his everything too.

Even as Kenji drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen, he can’t escape you. He thinks about the countless times you had dinner at his house, how his mother would laugh with you and stare at you knowingly when your attention shifted to him. The way his mother would hug you as you left, how sometimes he’d come home to you and his mother watching movies together, and the way he’d feel so WARM on the inside when he laid his eyes upon the sights. The two greatest people in his lives bonding. The two greatest people in his lives, not in his life anymore.

Shoving his face into his hands, Kenji wonders if you’ve cursed him. Sentenced him to an eternity of longing, being haunted by his memories no matter where he goes or how far he runs. Day and night, you’re there. His best friend. The girl who introduced him to the entire world he grew up in. The soul that he fell so pathetically in love with that he couldn’t even put it into words, not even as he got into the airplane that would take him away with no return, the burden of being Ultraman weighing on the intensity of the departure. Ken Sato isn’t the type to fall in love, not like this. The fact that he’s loved you from the first time he saw you, how he’s felt like you were a breath of air in the midst of smoke, the way he’s craved to give you everything he has, to give you himself, may beg to differ.

You have always been together. One. Interlinked. Now, the only way he ever sees you is in the dead of night, his mind somehow finding ways to bring you back to him. You used to be everywhere, shining your light on him so much that he couldn’t process it as it happened. Only as he lie awake in bed could he find time to think about you, to long for you, to resent you for making him feel so pathetic. You didn’t even try, and you had him wanting to knock down every single wall that he had managed to keep up with you. He always knew that if he just took you, he’d have you. He just couldn’t bring himself to. Things could change, he could get hurt. So Ken continued to relish in that life even when he craved for more, the life he thought would never change. Now, you’re 5 thousand miles away and he wishes he just told you. So many nights alone under the stars, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Even when you fell asleep together, holding each other like you wanted to consume the other, neither of you took your chance. It’s over now, your lives isolated and hearts lonely.

Your only way of seeing him is the rare occasion he shows up on TV, which has only been once so far. Even that one time, you didn’t fail to notice the faint tiredness on his face and the longing in his eyes when asked about his old life. You only noticed because you felt it too. Not for your old life, but for him. Your best friend. The love of your fucking life. Even if you had the guts to call him, the times in LA and Tokyo are opposite, and with Ken’s busy schedule you’d have no knowledge of when is free for him to talk. You don’t realize that he’d drop everything he was doing if your name popped up on his screen. It feels as if the world is desperate to pull him away from you, and you can’t compose yourself knowing it. You covet for the sound of his voice, holding yourself and closing your eyes, hoping that you can still draw out the lines of his face and feel fulfilled in the gaping hole he left you with as he got on that plane.

Neither of you have it in yourselves to reach out, not after the way you parted. So you live with the gaping pit in your chest, hoping that one day he’ll remember you and come home to fill it.

[ellsarchive]

Starcrossed - Prologue ★·.·`¯´·.

Series Masterlist *.•

Words: 786

Warnings: none

Note: epilogue done! I honestly like this part better than part one but this was more character/ past building :). Next part is written but won’t be posted for a little! This is my first series and first writing in a long time, please have mercy on me 😭

The stars seem bright tonight, brighter than any night you spent with him. You find it odd that nobody cares to notice the stars, how you never really did until now.

You spent countless nights under these very stars with Kenji, but you never noticed their brightness. He was always beaming, a million times more intense than any of the little white specks above you. They meant nothing compared to him. They still do.

Now, you sit under the stars alone. The crickets and the soft buzzing of the air are all that comfort you now, empty and cold as you long for the warmth that is his eyes.

You’ll never get to have him again, he’s gone to the other side of the world and won’t be coming back. His responsibility is much too heavy for that. It was a family heirloom of sorts, and he was doomed to it no matter how far away he went. Now he’s not yours any more, belonging to the lands of Japan, the many opportunities and people that thrive there. You want to be happy for him, and you are, in a way. Being joyous about the one thing that took your best friend so far from you isn’t ever going to be easy.

Even in the night sky, you manage to make out his face in the constellations. It’s not hard, considering how many times you’ve stared at every ridge and dimple that resides on the canvas that is his skin.

As you lay on the ground and feel sorry for yourself, you hear the faint hum of music from your neighbour’s house. Closing your eyes and listening, you’re met with one of your fondest memories.

Late nights like these had become a routine for the two of you lately. Ken would bring out the speaker from his garage (the one that his father probably had at your age), then you’d get drunk on each other and laugh until the sun came up.

You sat shoulder to shoulder with Kenji, talking about some nonsense that happened during class, what your father had said to you earlier, many things that had no real meaning. They didn’t matter, but he listened because he liked the sound of your voice. He liked the way you trailed off when you lost your train of thought, and the way he could feel you shift when you got overly expressive about the story. He listened because he cared that you wanted to tell him, and that was enough.

The night was full of loud moments, as well as quiet ones. Some moments would be nothing but the quiet music and your soft voice as you hummed along. He always played the songs you knew, knowing how much you loved it when you could be one with the music.

Suddenly, you stood up. You wore an animated smile as you recognized the song that had begun to play, this one was your favourite.

“I love this song!”

Kenji smiled at this, a laugh tracing the edges of his words and barely escaping.

“I know.”

You had pointed out that this song was your favourite of the queue, but that was some weeks ago at a time you weren’t even sure if Kenji was listening. You guess he was.

You sarcastically roll your eyes, holding out a hand. “Well, Mr. Know It All, I think you should come dance with me.”

Kenji raised his eyebrows, his grin spreading. When he didn’t make a move to get up, you began to tug at his hands until he complied. With a joyous huff and signature grin, Kenji went along with it. He rolled his eyes, but you knew that it came from a place of love. You’d grown used to it after ten years.

As he softly grabbed your hands and began swaying with you, the rhythm of the song seemed to seep into your bones. Your smiles got wider and your bodies closer as each step brought you higher into the sky.

He spun you until you felt like you would vomit. You held each other until the morning, the lines between reality and dreams seeming to blur the closer he got to you. The only thing that reminded you of his realness was the sound of his heartbeat and slow breaths as you rested on his chest.

You fell asleep under the stars that night, smiles never fading and hand still intertwined.

Now, asleep under the stars, no amount of memories you bring back will send him back to America, nor will take away his fame and make him have all the time in the world for you. Things can’t be how they once were.

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Starcrossed ★·.·`¯´·. Masterlist

“I think I’ll miss you forever, like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.”

In which: the journey of two souls in a world that seems desperate to keep them apart (Kenji Sato x Reader)

Details: multi pov??, mixed timelines (takes place in the present but filled with flashbacks), angst?, first series or long fics, be nice pls!!, individual warnings on chapters (if any)

Prologue

I

Pending…

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I saw an edit of him today and immediately broke out into a cold sweat. Do I have a life threatening medical issue or am I a little too obsessed 😕

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I let out a guttural noise from my throat every time I see him and it’s actually embarrassing

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My brain chemistry was just altered

STUPID, SLEEPY, AND ALL YOURS. kenji tots w/ v

unbelievably drowsy, kenji speaks so fast he forgets to think. this leads to … feelings.

cw. sleepy kenjiiii zzzzzzz, kenji has a hard time being vulnerable but he’ll try for reade, kenji loves you, i project on kenji, i love kenji so much, unproofreaded, a bit of hurt but a lot of comfort and fluff

notes. im sleepy… do not repost or translate this work unless done with permission.

thinking about sleepy kenji sato who doesn’t think when he’s all sleepy; all he wants is to lie next to you.

you’re not in bed yet, he has all the space this time. he uses it to twist and turn continuously and wrinkle your pretty white sheets, messing them up more than they already are. what was that thing for work you had to do that was more important than letting him hold you? kenji groans, the soft blanket against his skin feeling like the spikes of cacti without your skin against his. it’s so cold, and he blames you for it, because what are you if not his portable sun? he misses you so much, and you’re only a room away!

he hopes his whines are loud enough for you to hear. maybe you’ll come check up on him? oh, he hopes you will! he really does hope you will. he’s so sleepy, he might just cry if he doesn’t have you in his arms in the next minute. he wishes you would just crawl into bed with him; that way, your scent would be on the sheets, and your hair would be in his face as he spooned you from behind. he always preferred it that way. to kenji, fucking someone was easy—but to lay in the same sheets, intertwined; to be able to withstand that sort of intimacy—it was too much. he wasn’t ready for that. he wasn’t ready to wake up to your face and realize that yes, he is going soft; yes, he is inlove, and yes, he is yours.

kenji should be happy he has all the space, he knows he should be, but he isn’t. he wants to share it with you. he wants to drape what was once his blanket over your body, and he wants to hold you close and kiss the top of your head as you drift off to sleep. he wants to give you the extra pillow he always saved for himself, and he doesn’t even know why he wants to do it. maybe he’s crazy, or maybe he’s in love. in his core, kenji already knows why.

he’s all yours.

the sound of the door opening has him peeking out of the covers, eyes gazing at your equally tired form. you jump back, almost hitting your lower back on the knob of the door. you catch yourself fast enough. kenji just looks at you and smiles. “why are you still awake?” you walk over to him, and sit on the edge of the bed. he readjusts himself so that he lays strictly on his side. “i couldn’t sleep.” kenji answers, but he’s lying and you know that more than anyone.

kenji’s easy to read, the problem is no one bothers getting close enough.

you don’t pry. kenji wishes you did, he would’ve had an excuse to talk to you about you. it’s so hard to show his love sometimes, so hard to tell you he values you—he wants to tell you the true extent of it all, to tell you that he doesn’t love you despite your flaws, but with all your flaws. he wants to, so badly, but theres a lump in his throat that stops him and he’s been trying to spit it out for so long that he fears you might just leave him at this point.

he’s feared you might leave him at many points.

yet, here you are, and here he is, draping a blanket over your body as you turn around to kiss his cheek goodnight. he spoons you, and he realizes that you’re still here. he should focus on that, first. on loving you.

the steady pitter-patters of the rain keep you company as kenji buries his shoulder into your neck, soft hair tickling your chin as you smile in your drowsy state. “you took sooooo long.” his voice is muffled, and you chuckle a bit because his voice vibrates against your shoulder so hard that you shiver. he’s whiney, tired, and so, so, lovey dovey. you love it. “i’m so sorry, kenji, you know how work can be.” a short response, yet the sound of your voice has kenji grinning like a schoolgirl against you—and he squeezes just a little bit tighter.

“no, ‘m sorry.” he says. you raise an eyebrow. “why are you sorry? no need to be sorry for being all lovey with me, bab—”

“i’m sorry for not being lovey enough.” he interrupts, and you part your mouth to reply but nothing comes out besides a confused “huh?” he sighs, and sits up—and you lean against the headboard of his bed, ready to listen. always ready to listen.

“i… didn’t want to get too close to you, you know ?” he mutters, his hooded eyes looking right, left, down, anywhere but at you—because he’s not himself. he’s exhausted, everything’s been taking a toll on him and the only anchor he has is you. “i wanted to distance myself. i didn’t want you to get caught up with me. i’m… god, i’m a fucking wreck…” he trails off, and you want to reach out but he’s not done. “before you, i didn’t think i could do anything right—because i didn’t. i couldn’t. what was the point being a super famous baseball star and fucking ultraman if at the end of the day, you realized that every day was the same as any other. you come home to no one, and your bed is always cold. you comb your own hair, and there’s no one else to drape your blanket over because you’re all alone in such a big house and it makes you realize that even though you’re—”

he bites his lip, trying to hold back tears, but then he looks at you, and it’s like he wants to cry. to be coddled over, to be doted on. so he lets himself shed a few tears, to make up for the frustrations he’s had. “even though you’re ultraman, you’re still capable of feeling small.” he concludes, and as if a switch had flipped—he practically falls into your chest, droplets of his own tears staining your shirt. you coo, and you comb through his hair and put the blanket over the two of you as you kiss his temple. “it was always like that.” he whispered.

it’s then you realize that kenji, even though he tries to act high and mighty, is truly just miserable.

“then i met you.”

you don’t know what to say.

“it was like you crashed head first into every wall i had, you know? i didn’t want to be in a relationship with you at first. i wasn’t worth you. i’m never going to be worth it for you; atleast, i don’t think s-”

“no.” is all you say, and kenji, drowsy as he is, looks up at you. “no, you’re worth everything. you’re worth so much more than you know, kenji, you’re worth every second i spent breaking those walls of yours dow—”

“that’s what i’m talking about.” he interrupts, for the second time. and you look at him questioningly. “you always have something to say. you never run out of words. you never run out of love. you love me. you love me so much, don’t you?” he asks, and faced with his handsome face and husky voice your blushing self can only nod. “yeah, i can tell. that’s why i’m sorry. you never run out of words when you’re with me, but god, i always run out of words when i’m with you. it’s like, if i could, i’d follow you around forever. in complete silence. you’re so beautiful i can’t even say it.”

you’re down bad; so is he.

“i promised not to get too close, and now i’m laying on your chest in tears because i love you too much to even word it. that’s really fucking stupid, right? i’m stupid. i’m stupid, sleepy, and all yours.” he babbled, and before long, he was dead asleep on your chest. his tangent left you in love, in shock, and in utter disarray. you did not mind the drying tears on your shirt, nor were you gonna mind how awkward it would be in the morning, and you wouldn’t dream of minding kenji being vulnerable in front of you. right now, you were so happy you could cry—you were so happy, you did cry.

this time, kenji fell asleep looking at you.

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Kenji is actually such a Doberman it’s INSANE

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This but only Kenji

Sad lonely man who only has an AI assistant to keep them company and are the best girl dads <3