enbysadboy

[enbysadboy]

sometimes i wish my brain would just turn off. i wish i could just flip the switch to turn it off and make all of my feelings go away, the hyper-fixations are draining and never fulfilled. my brain asks me question after question after question that it knows i cannot answer or do anything about and yet i am still bothered even though i have no control over the situation whatsoever. its extremely frustrating to care so much about a situation when you don't want to and have no control over it. How in the world do neurotypical people do it??? i'm so overstimulated with my own thoughts i wish they would just stop

[enbysadboy]

Donate!!!!!! Boost!!!!!

[enbysadboy]

[enbysadboy]

White tumblr racism is far more insidious than like out and proud racism cause why are you using your autism as an excuse to not view black people as equal to you

[enbysadboy]

[enbysadboy]

I wish other trans people stopped thinking trans men are here to be fairytale knights. “Trans men should use their strength to defend other trans people” no, actually. Trans men can do that, if they want to, but it’s not our obligation. We’re also just trying to survive.

If you only want us to exist so we can beat up the first transphobe to mildly inconvenience you but then kick us down and shove us out of our own spaces whenever we try to talk… you don’t want us to exist. What you want is a brick wall.

[enbysadboy]

"i actively enjoy making trans–masculine people feel unsafe, outspoken, and scared, and i want them all to know that if it were legal to cause physical harm to them i would do so" do you SEE what you're typing or what

[enbysadboy]

if you find yourself saying "trans men are not systematically oppressed" you have zoomed so far into tumblr discourse youve forgotten where we are. all trans people are systematically oppressed. it came free with the fucking society we live in

[enbysadboy]

"transmascs can't say tranny" "transmascs can't say faggot" just say you think transmascs are all confused cishet girls who dont belong in the queer community. next youre gonna say we cant say "queer" anymore either

[enbysadboy]

they are estrogen and testosterone. they are estrogenizing and androgenizing hrt. stop fucking calling them transfem and transmasc hrt. stop fucking calling them mtf and ftm hrt. stop fucking calling them feminizing and masculinizing hrt. stop going out of your way to exclude non-binary and intersex people.

[enbysadboy]

I see a lot of “trans men just don’t want to discuss when they’re the ones in a situation with more privilege.”

And… well. I’m sure that exists. But a lot of what I’m seeing is more along the lines of:

“Trans men have male privilege.”

“No, trans men do not have male privilege.”

As the two statements.

And neither of these are completely correct, though I would personally say I feel that one is more correct than the other.

Trans men have male privilege is… way too broad a statement. And that’s, I think, the biggest problem with it. Can an individual stealthing trans man access male privilege? Maybe. I would be reticent to call it “male privilege” mostly because of how highly conditional it is, and so am a lot happier hearing that referred to as conditional when it’s brought up.

Trans men do not have male privilege is, I think, more broadly correct. Because, as a group, trans men are not awarded male privilege. Trans men are not all categorically able to access that conditional privilege. I’m willing to discuss that privilege when it’s relevant, I am not willing to let people paint the entire category of trans men as having male privilege because of conditional access to privilege that some trans men can access.

That’s where the real tension is. And heck, that’s what the statement “trans men do not have male privilege” means. It doesn’t mean that individuals cannot gain access to certain benefits, it means that the generalizable situation is not one of male privilege.

[enbysadboy]

if youre against body shaming, then you HAVE to be against body shaming men too.

that means no more micropenis and small dick "jokes".

that means no more neckbeard "jokes".

that means no more "jokes" about moobs / man boobs if someone has told you that it makes them uncomfortable (/ dysphoric).

that means no more mocking men (and women, but i see this targeting men more often) with flat asses.

that means no more mocking men for having long hair.

that means no more mocking men for having a "pedo 'stache".

that means not mocking trans men who dont want to medically transition and respecting their boundaries.

that means not mocking intersex men whose intersex variations you dont personally understand.

be against body shaming ANYONE.

[enbysadboy]

So here's what happened on Reddit:

A transmasc posted about how transmascs and trans men are often invisible, how our issues are dismissed, and how resources, especially medical ones, are almost always written with non transmascs in mind. They posted this both to r/Trans and r/lgbt.

A moderator of r/Trans responded by telling them to “stop bitching.” That’s the word they used. That’s the level of respect trans men get. Transandrophobic by the way, don't call trans men bitches.

The comment was deleted, quietly, after backlash. Then the entire post was removed. When asked why, a mod responded that the post was “playing oppression olympics,” and took the time to go through and dismiss each of the original poster’s points, including saying that trans men being sexually assaulted isn’t “unique to transmascs” and therefore not an issue, and claiming that access to testosterone isn’t any more restricted than access to estrogen, which is a straight-up lie, because T is a tightly controlled substance in most places and E is not.

The original poster was banned for three days.

Then a separate mod made a post saying, “nobody asked us our side of the story,” which is wild because people absolutely did, publicly and repeatedly. Users also started reporting that they’d had supportive comments removed or had been banned after disagreeing with the mods, some of those claims are still unconfirmed, but given the general behavior, it wouldn’t be surprising.

Then r/Trans locked down entirely. No new posts. The conversation was forcibly ended.

Some people posted about it on r/FTM, many of those posts were mass-reported, automatically removed by Reddit’s automod, or quietly buried. Meanwhile, r/lgbt also removed the original post, with no explanation.

One of the r/Trans mods eventually posted an “apology,” which was really just a soft-scrubbed PR post full of noncommittal language and distancing. They said they didn’t mean to call a trans man “a bitch,” they just used it synonymously with “complaining,” and they didn’t think about the implications until later even though the first post was about microaggressions just like the mod committed. They did not apologize for anything else, not for wrongfully banning people, not for accusing a transmasc venting like any other user of playing oppression olympics, nothing at all. They said they’re on break and can’t do anything about it. They said, and I quote, “please don’t be mad at the rest of the team.” even though the rest of the team are just as culpable for not stopping their behavior.

They also added that trans men are “a welcome part of the community” and tried to point at moderation history as proof. Because apparently we should be grateful that people occasionally get banned, every so often, for implying trans men aren't oppressed at all, wow, thanks, that is like below the bare minimum, cool.

The current state of things is: r/Trans has over 600,000 members, and trans men and transmascs were silenced, banned, and told to shut up for bringing up their own oppression. And the subreddit is locked down. There’s a mass exodus happening to the new sub, r/trans4every1, but let’s be real, the damage has already been done.

Now let’s talk about what this actually means.

This is not “just more Tumblr discourse.” This isn’t some random blog saying they don’t like transmascs. This isn’t a Twitter reply guy. This isn’t a niche zine or a spicy personal take. This is a massive trans-focused subreddit with over half a million users. It's easily one of the largest public facing trans community online, maybe even the largest, I've certainly never found a bigger one myself. And the moderation team made it crystal clear: they do not want transmascs to feel safe or welcome there.

This is what transandrophobia looks like on a slightly larger internet scale. When it’s in the hands of people who get to decide who gets heard and who gets deleted.

And for anyone who’s still stuck on “well they apologized” listen: trans men are told all the time that we’re being too loud, too angry, too entitled, too manly, too feminine, too confusing, too “binary,” too "Nonbinary", too much. We’re told that we’re “oppression olympics-ing” just for talking about our lives. And now we're getting banned and locked out of the spaces that claim to represent a huge portion of online trans people.

This isn't just online drama. This is a bellwether. And if it isn’t setting off alarms in your head, it should be.

The way transandrophobia manifests in online spaces absolutely bleeds into real life, into medical gatekeeping, into poor data collection, into the erasure of sexual violence against transmascs, into advocacy groups that write us out of the picture, into educational materials that treat us like footnotes, if they include us at all.

And if you’re sitting there thinking, “well it’s not that deep,” you’re part of the problem.

We need to start being more honest about this: Transandrophobia is real, it is widespread, and it is growing. We need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt when they’ve shown us they don’t want us in the room.

And frankly?

We need to start making TRFs [Trans Radfems & transmasc-exclusionary feminists alike] deeply uncomfortable being open about their beliefs. We need to make them afraid to be TRFs, the way they’re trying to make us afraid to exist.

The same way we don’t coddle fascists. The same way we don’t tolerate TERFs. We need to stop tiptoeing around transandrophobia.

Because this growing wave of transandrophobia is going to kill people. Full stop.

Protect trans men. Protect transmascs. Protect your siblings; all of them!

Edit because I forgot to add it:

Another thing worth noting is that not only was r/trans deleting and banning any users and posts talking about the situation, they were deleting any posts talking about transmasc issues or transmasc positivity full stop.

Even when those posts had nothing to do with the current issue. They were being silenced. They were being actively erased, in a trans space.

[enbysadboy]

[enbysadboy]

i think to say trans men or trans masculine humans don't see oppression is an extremely terf take on things. how are trans men not oppressed when the majority of society (i.e. the bigots) don't even see trans men as men and instead see them as some sort of evil presence or a deranged women who they think is confused ??? very weird take very exclusionary if you ask me.

and before ANYONE wants to say "you're nonbinary you can't speak on the experience of a trans man" actually my gender presentation is closely associated to that of a trans man if you look through life with a cis-het lens and the hatred trans men receive is close to those of nonbinary trans masculine humans so yes i can. these people don't know what my identity is and assume because i am pre top surgery with facial hair im also just some confused women//deranged. AND even after top surgery I'll still be seen as a man even if i dress gender fluid//androgynous. being nonbinary is under the trans umbrella but everything is on a spectrum.

trans masculine people and trans men receive exclusion from society and that their transition will turn them "into the bad guy" or "ugly" to shut up and "blend in" once you start hormones and NEVER speak about the hatred you receive because you're just a dirty disgusting guy so why would it matter anyways.

[enbysadboy]

If you're in LGBT friendly spaces and someone introduces themselves and cautiously says they're fine with any pronouns, it is your duty to notice which pronouns the people around you tend to default to for them and ensure that you refer to them with any and every pronoun under the sun except for that one. You must.

[enbysadboy]

I’ve been told my entire life not to take showers or baths during thunderstorms because lightening can travel through the plumbing and you know what? I don’t care anymore. If God decides to kill me in that ridiculous manner, it’ll be a hell of a way to go. Going to take the risk. Fuck it.