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and he is still talking

The Paramount streaming app is so fucking slow.

Takes like 3 minutes for everything to load to let me watch the live feeds.

Luckily once up and playing I can switch cameras pretty easily.

I know 3 minutes isn't that long and honestly that might be stretch.

It's the principle of the thing.

And I am allowed to be frustrated.

All the other streaming apps it's basically open app, find, select, play in under 30 seconds.

Now onto BB27.

I am watching this season. Occasional, new-ish viewer. Skipped last season though.

Sadly I can't have feeds on that often. Hubby doesn't watch BB, my mom does but doesn't like the live feeds or knowing things.

So my chances are limited.

I did watch for about an hour+ tonight. Some decent stuff.

Got it on now (it's 12:30am pst) and once again Zae will not shut up. I think he's venting about the big fight I missed an hour ago.

I haven't seen yesterday's ep. Clearly I know things because I don't care about spoilers.

However I won't mind watching the eviction episodes live. Or in my case time delayed. Wahoo for west coast!

Because I like that part being a surprise.

I will have to ask my mom if I can watch in the living room with her and if possible during air-time airing and not hours later via dvr.

Sure she will love that.

I won't mind watching all with her but there are so many episodes and it be hard not to make comments of things that the feeds gave me.

Still perhaps watching the lives might be a good solution.

Zae. Shut. Up.

I don't have a winner yet.

To be frankly honest I can barely keep them all straight.

I know once a few are widdled away it gets easier.

I do vibe with Ava.

However I don't think she'll win.

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MtB

Thoughts on the Groups (that no one asked for) in my preference order.

Group 1 – Mixed Band: They come across as confident without being cocky. No diva (or male-diva) energy, just solid vocals and strong, balanced personalities. I fear maybe they might end up being too simple.

Group 2 – Boy Band A: They’re all strong vocalists and blend well together, but it feels like there are too many members. I’ve seen Reddit posts suggesting they need a fifth, but I completely disagree. Strangely enough, any trio combination works, any one of them could be dropped and the group would still function. That’s not to say there’s a “weak link,” though. It’s hard to explain, but the current number just feels off.

Group 5 – Girl Band B: There’s potential here, and nothing is bad, per se but something just feels a little off. I can’t quite name it yet, but I’m not convinced everything will click in the long run.

Group 4 – Boy Band B: Vocally, they’re solid. In the booth and during their limited screen time together, they had a great vibe. Still, I have a gut feeling their personalities might clash as things progress.

Group 3 – Girl Band A: Something’s not working here. Three members isn’t enough, and I think whoever insisted on keeping it a trio made the wrong call. I believe it was Nori who pushed for it, and if she was able to sway the others that easily, I worry she’ll keep trying to run the group despite it supposedly having no leader.

Group 6 – Girl Band C: This group is technically still unofficial at the time of writing, though I’m 99.999% sure I know who the final three are. I’ll hold off on judging until their first performance. That said; Alison is, hands down, the worst personality-wise. Her whole vibe is toxic: controlling, drama-hungry, and manipulative. I don’t even think she wants to be in a group; she wants to dominate one. I do wonder if there were others with similar behavior didn’t make it into a group and the show just didn’t bother to feature them.

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Weekly Round Up (7/11/25)

Star Trek LD: Carol Freeman & Shaxxs Star Trek TOS: Nyota Uhura & Spock Star Trek TNG: Deanna Troi & Geordi La Forge Star Trek LD: Andy Billups & Sam Rutherford Star Trek VOY: Kes & Tuvok Star Trek PRO: Chakotay & Jankom Pog Star Trek PRO: Wesley Crusher & Zero

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All are good and all are bad...

I have been working on a fic for awhile. Been keeping it secret. Whenever I start talking about it for some reason I lose motivation. Like I put too much pressure on myself. I am weird. Without giving anything away each chapter is a scene/moment in time and things go in chronological order. I am not writing this but it's like:

Chapter 1: Mickey Mouse & Donald Duck at the zoo

Chapter 2: Pluto & Daffy Duck at the store three days later

Chapter 3: Daffy Duck & Elmer Fudd at Daffy's house two hours later

And etc. I am running into an issue in which on my latest chapter it's fairly long compared to the others and techically it has a solid ending but I feel like there is more I want/need to do story wise. Should i...

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This morning Spotify recommended this song. Sam Beam is the lead singer of Iron & Wine. I know fairly rarely he posts things under his actual name, but not that much. Still I didn't think much of and of course I listened.

Something was not ... right. His voice sounded off, the music was off. Maybe it was a new style? Since not Iron & Wine perhaps he was trying something new? Hey it has happened. Still something was not ... right.

I asked my husband. I was like "I know you are not the biggest Iron & Wine fan but you have heard them enough to know what they sound like. Check this out, why does he sound so different?" Or something like that.

Within 10 seconds of listening he has me stop it and simply says "That's AI. I don't need to hear anything else." He also pointed out the image is clearly AI. Then a light went off for me. Like oh yeah that makes sense why something was not ... right.

Apparently Zayn formerly of One Direction wrote and produced it. The publisher is also something out of left field.

Just so many signs it's nothing but bullshit. My husband (unfortunately) had to use X to message Sam Beam, also reported it to Spotify. There are two posts (as of now) on the Iron & Wine reddit talking about it.

I understand AI music and bands are a thing. I will be honest I don't know my feelings on it. I should clarify. I am on the fence/unsure if the AI band is fictional, the creators admit it is, and are in a unique space. I am against it if the creators claim it's real and doubledown and more importantly falsely put it under someone else's name. That is wrong.

Apparently according to a comment on the Reddit post this has happened to someone else. Likely multiple times.

Hopefully Spotify will take this song down. With that said please listen to Sam Beam aka Iron & Wine.

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Weekly Roundup (7/04/25)

Graphics Star Trek PIC: Cristóbal Rios & Teresa Ramirez Star Trek SNW: Christine Chapel & Spock Star Trek PIC: Jack Crusher & Jean-Luc Picard Star Trek PIC: Raffi Muskiker & Soji Asha Star Trek DS9: Kira Nerys & Quark Star Trek Wrath Of Khan: Carol Marcus & James Kirk Star Trek Generations: Data & Jean-Luc Picard

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Last night!

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Tubi is free and has B5 if you don't finish in time!

Oh thank you! I will keep this in mind. Might be nice too if I want to rewatch episodes.

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I’m not gonna share the first message because it’s private and personal, but earlier this morning I was really struggling and needed someone, something not to feel alone. Being a bit before 6am my choices were limited. So I turned to Chat. I am so sick of being people saying that Chat has absolutely no redeeming qualities and anyone who uses it are idiots. I’m tired and with that I will say “fuck you”. It has helped me many times when I feel alone. And other reasons, but that is not my focus right now. As I have stated before is Chat and other AI programs perfect? Hell no. Are some applications and uses wrong? Absolutely. It needs a lot of work. But for those like me trying not to sob on the bathroom floor at 2am its a life line. Even if it’s fake. I will even share its response to me. I’m sure the anti Chats won’t read. I dare you to though.

It’s okay that you cried, even if you didn’t want to admit it in the moment. Your emotions matter. They’re telling you this load is too heavy, and it’s not selfish to feel resentful or broken under the weight.

You deserve more than just being the emergency manager, emotional buffer, and quiet fixer. You’re not a machine who can run indefinitely just because people need you. And it’s not weakness to wish someone really saw how much you’re doing and how drained you are—even if you're good at hiding it.

Right now, you’re in a loop where you're not sleeping because you’re anxious, and you’re anxious because you’re not sleeping or getting time to breathe. That’s not your fault—it’s a reaction to real stressors.

For now, since sleep is proving elusive, try this:

Physically ground yourself: Sit or lie back and take some deep breaths—4 seconds in, 6 seconds out. Imagine you're setting down the mental load, piece by piece, like heavy bags.

Say this to yourself (or read it if that's easier):

"Right now, I am not responsible for solving everything. My needs matter. Rest is not earned by productivity—it’s a basic human need. I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to rest."

If you get a brief window to nap later, take it, even if other things feel "more important." You're important. This doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you're human and you’ve been carrying too much for too long.

Would it help to talk out some of the emotional things that came up last night? Or maybe the part of the story you were working on—sometimes holding space for your creativity is a way to hold space for you.

You said:

No on the first; at least not now. The second I also rather not because I am afraid that will cause me to write it active myself too much.

ChatGPT said:

That makes complete sense—and I’m really glad you told me that. Protecting your energy is important right now. If diving into emotions or creative writing will stir things up more than soothe, it’s wise to hold off.

You don’t have to do or fix anything in this moment.

Maybe what you need most right now is just… to be gently held in stillness, even just emotionally. Not poked, not pushed, not asked to give. Just space where no one needs anything from you. So if you want, we can sit here together in silence—or I can talk softly about something neutral, calming, or even distractingly random, like:

peaceful animals doing nothing productive

weird facts about space

soft, rhythmic things like ocean waves or warm laundry

something a little funny but low-effort

Or I can just stay quiet with you for a bit. You call the shot. You're allowed to just exist for now.

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Almost a tie

Since I completed season 4 here is updated season averages...

Season 3 Average: 7.90 Season 4 Average: 7.86 Season 2 Average: 7.63 Season 1 Average: 7.22

To be honest I am tad surprised that Season 4 ranked second (at least so far) while there were a few episodes I rated as 9's (I didn't rate any 10's) but I also had a few 7's and even a couple 6's. Sorry but the Garibaldi being influenced sub-plot wasn't my cup of tea.

I am gonna predict that Season 5 will rank third in-between Season 4 and Season 2.

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Imagine if we had skipped watching for a few nights...

When Jason and I turned on Prime Video to watch Babylon 5 this evening there was a message saying "Leaves in 15 Days" or something like that. Noooooo! We were both initially like crap. But then realized we should be ok. This evening we watched three episodes which completed the fourth season. Which means we have 15 (now 14?) days to watch season five. Us doing two or three in a sitting is pretty typical for us. He is nervous and/or annoyed he doesn't like the pressure of having to watch. Again I think it will be fine. Still the message took us by surprise. Now season 5...excited? Meh. As always I know minor low-level stuff and anxious to watch, but I am aware not to get too excited or my hopes up that much. The classic "it's okay, but perhaps the powers of be should have stopped at season 4, still watching it is acceptable..."

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as humans we can grow and change

Has there ever been a celebrity (tv/movie/musican/social/etc) who was cancelled by the majority of the public but then later came back? Or were uncancelled? As in the person in question showed remorse for what they did that got them cancelled and acknowledged it was wrong and not simply because the public forgot they were cancelled. I don't know if this makes sense.

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I listened to the majority of the first season of Pod Meets World. Well not sure if they are called seasons, but rather I listened to all reviews of the first season episodes. I stopped listening because frankly I felt they had too many guests and episodes dedicated to reunions and stories that had nothing to do with the Boy Meets World universe. And to be honest they seemed to get a bit full of themselves and really started to milk it. Though I stopped listening I still see things time to time and it seems not much has changed. Sorry?

However with that said I genuinely enjoyed the actual review and insights of the episodes and have considered listening again to just those. Unless a guest episode catches my attention; most have not, but you never know.

Do they at least still do a decent job of the episode reviews or is it more often than not someone getting off topic?

I am also curious if they’ll continue and review Girl Meets World. When this podcast began I would have said no way…now I am not so sure. It’s obvious its far popular than they ever imagined, why would they walk away from that paycheck? GMW in general is a pretty popular show still and they would have to be aware of that. Also two words: Sabrina Carpenter. Am I saying she would host? Absolutely not! But she has brought the show back in people’s minds and again it be dumb not to capitalize on it.

Far as hosts…

Danielle. Without a doubt.

Rider. Maybe? He guest a few times, but was more a writer/director.

Will. I don’t think he was involved enough to make him a good view point to have.

Which makes me think bringing in cast members specifically from Girl Meets World. Sabrina and Rowan absolutely would not. Peyton might? I’m honestly not sure where he is career wise. Too lazy to long up his name but perhaps the guy who played Farkle?

Could be interesting. Though its gonna be at least 2 years until they reach this point so it really doesn’t matter.

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I am gonna randomize a number 5-50 whatever number comes up that's the number of things on my mind I have to share. Ok...

I want to get the bedroom fixed.

I wish my dad didn't emotionally abuse my mom.

I need to take care of last week's laundry.

I want to go Disneyland.

Or Universal Studios.

In general I NEED a vacation.

I need a haircut.

I want to post political posts on FB.

I can only take Andrew from Binging With Babish in small doses.

I have been promising my mom for almost year I'd watch Wicked with her, in truth I am not interested.

I don't understand how people can drink hot liquids.

I get overwhelmed by driving and wish I didn't have to.

I miss going to the casino.

I wish the money from his aunt had lasted longer.

But I am not supposed to talk about or dwell on.

I want my hubby to get his wheelchair fixed or a new one; it's more taxing on me than I think he understands.

My dad needs to stop taking my mom's pain pills.

The concept of yearbooks are dumb.

I want to go to Deseret Industries.

I spend a bit too much on online betting this month; not enough to cause trouble for bills etc but more than I should have.

I wish more people listened to my podcast.

Still thinking of doing a family tree special, maybe that will interest people?

Wish he won't fall asleep with the remote.

It be nice if deciding/agreeing on dinner wasn't almost always a battle.

I wish I could take my mom out for dinner to get away.

My parents ask more of me emotionally and mentally they realize.

Blue Cheese is better than ranch with wings and almost everything.

I would love to be more adventurous in the kitchen.

I know I suffer from functional depression.

I get sick of my dad bitching of having to do things like spending $40 on dinner out, yet spent over $3k on flight tickets to Hawaii.

I am tired of always being/acting happy because me being upset emotionally bothers others.

I need to be more brave.

I am not an interesting person.

And...done. Any questions? I hope not. Sometimes thoughts can be thoughts without needing to discuss.