esinthepod - Tumblr blog

[esinthepod]

For years I never understood what Kendal meant when they said, "time is a man-made construct." I thought it was a reason to explain when someone was late or didn't pay attention to time... The older I get, and the more I do the work to unpack, process, and heal from my complex and generational trauma, I have a complete understanding of the felt sense of that concept. Time is not linear. It is not something that passes, and once doing so, never returning or being squarely back to the past in a real embodied way. The couple to the left are my parents exactly where I am right now, 43—that time for my parents, was such a painful and lonely one. I was 9, and three years prior was the start of my family's implosion, which to this day, none of us ever recovered from. For many years I was angry and blamed both of them for their lack, for their harm, selfishness, and inability to take care of my older sisters and me. That was an assessment from a sensitive child and in deep pain who could only understand binaries - either/or right/wrong. As a basic necessity, we just want safety, care, and love. I was unable to understand that's what they needed and never had in any consistent way. Understandably in my youth, I wasn't able to understand the nuance and complexity. And as an adult, my emotional and spiritual knowing was stunted by my trauma, still judging others and myself in the binaries. Since time is not linear, the connection to me being 43 has placed me back in 1986. I have emotional and bodily felt flashbacks connected to both my parents as adults. I sense their struggling to live, facing demons resulting from the impact of their ancestors and elders' demons, shadows, hardships, and oppression. I also have felt flashbacks to me, confused, neglected, overperforming, feeling unsafe, and lonely. I feel it when I interact with my youngest daughter, she is 7, and many times I'm back to being 7 too. She has a condition in which her body believes it is 9. How old was I in 1986...time. I am feverishly trying to heal all of it in real-time as if my life depends on it because it does. Sometimes I can do it with loving-kindness, grace, and compassion. I often fail miserab (at Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/CKB_14ulp4b/?igshid=1rmbyhgouxgcp

[esinthepod]

Like for so many others, 2020 has been difficult and challenging. And for the EPod we still manage to love each other and find joy, especially in nature. We are so grateful for each other, even when we get on each of our last good nerves. #sprouton #queerblacklove #blackfolksinnature #kingslanding #2020 #qpoc #dronevideo (at Apopka, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIMfzkOl-Gu/?igshid=xbrj49961fft

[esinthepod]

Join us tonight for a live YouTube Kiki. Looking forward to connecting with you all. #youtube #youtubelive #qwoc #socialdistancing #stillconnecting #kessepod (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Upaa3FAOU/?igshid=1l58ciu37hpk3

[esinthepod]

This is: Black Love Queer Love Queer Black Love Dedicated Love Hard Love Fun Love Joyful Love Challenging Love Healing Love Supportive Love... FOREVER LOVE - - - #qwoc #qpoc #marriedblacklesbians #queerlove #blacklove #mrsandmrs #sprouton #oakland #lgbtq #queerblacklove #foreverlove (at Bay Area) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Iw7eZlhV3/?igshid=194ahyr0emyl9

[esinthepod]

About that Stuzo life! - - - #stuzo #stud #boi #womanup #stuzosquad #blackjoy #qpoc #queer #qwoc #shero #blackhistorymonth #boigrl #hoodie #hoodiestyle #swagfordays #girlboss (at Oakland, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8-JALSF6Ji/?igshid=13kuwte6xkmu4

[esinthepod]

What a gift for anyone who needs concrete and practical ways of rectifying harms and ensuring accountability, that takes into account folks having mental health crises, and avoiding traditional approaches that rely on punishment, incarceration, or policing. This is a how to with actionable approaches and tools. The care put forth to focus on all involved including those who cause the harm is something we all need as in some form or fashion we all have been harmed and have harmed others. So proud of our friend, sister and comrade @ejeris for editing such an important piece of work with @leahlakshmiwrites Please be sure to get the book from @akpressdistro The book includes writing, tools and interviews by Alexis Pauline Gumbs, Kai Cheng Thom, Amita Swadhin, Audrey Huntley, Amanda Aguilar Shank, Janae E Bonsu of BYP100, Philly Stands Up (Esteban Kelly, Jenna Peters-Golden, Qui Dorian, Bench Ansfield and Beth Blum), Creative Interventions, Trans Lifeline, Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective, Oakland Power Projects, SOS Collective/Audre Lorde Project, Icarus Project/ Fireweed Collective, Raquel Lavina, Chris Lymbertos, RJ Maccani, Nathan Shara, Staci Haines, Georgia Latino Alliance For Human Rights, MIJENTE, Monica Sehovic Bowen Forrester, Elene Lam, Chanelle Gallant, Elisabeth Marie Long, adrienne maree brown, Adrian Cole, Yalini Dream, Shira Hassan, Mariame Kaba and Mimi Kim. #transformativejustice #beyondsurvival #akpress (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/B75-WVkl8eT/?igshid=am76lekmfd0v

[esinthepod]

🎊NEW VIDEO🎊 It’s been a while since a new video has been uploaded on our YouTube channel but a new year means greater expansion. In this video I’ll be talking about looking at the start of a new year in an entirely different perspective. I’ll also encourage you to explore what your word for 2019 will be and to create your own New Year date. Click the link on @inher_power bio page to check it out. Let us know what you think! - - - - #newyear #newpossibilities #vision #transformation #mastery #inherpower #evolution #newpractice (at Planet Earth) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsl32YglmnB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1jmq6i7nt0s2q

[esinthepod]

Special Announcement: Kendal is conducting 2 sound healing workshops in a Brooklyn, NY at the Abhaya Yoga studio (@abhayayoga). The 1st is on November 10, 2018 and the 2nd is December 15, 2018. Please join her as she focuses on the healing practice of chakra sound bath. These workshops are specifically focused for Black & Brown Womxn of all abilities, representation and backgrounds. For more information, please email kendal at kendal@inherpower.space We are looking forward to seeing you there. - - - #workshop #soundbath #soundhealing #yoga #lgbtq #qwoc #healing #singingbowls #chakras #chakrahealing #traumasensitiveyoga (at Abhaya Yoga) https://www.instagram.com/p/BppJzLMlJGI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=tpouco4llh19

[esinthepod]

So excited to connect with folks tomorrow in New York City! Kendal is conducting the first of two sound healing workshops in a Brooklyn, NY at the Abhaya Yoga studio (@abhayayoga). The 1st is on November 10, 2018 from 2:00 - 3:15 pm and the 2nd is December 15, 2018. Please join her as she focuses on the healing practice of chakra sound bath. These workshops are specifically focused for Black & Brown Womxn of all abilities, representation and backgrounds. For more information, please email kendal at kendal@inherpower.space We are looking forward to seeing you there. - - - #workshop #soundbath #soundhealing #yoga #lgbtq #qwoc #healing #singingbowls #chakras #chakrahealing #traumasensitiveyoga #vibratehigher #selfcare #blackwomenhealing #blackwomen #latinxhealth #mindfulness #mindfulnessmeditation (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp9ij7dlrrK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fmokgcdbx67d

[esinthepod]

Special Announcement: Kendal is conducting 2 sound healing workshops in a Brooklyn, NY at the Abhaya Yoga studio (@abhayayoga). The 1st is on November 10, 2018 and the 2nd is December 15, 2018. Please join her as she focuses on the healing practice of chakra sound bath. These workshops are specifically focused for Black & Brown Womxn of all abilities, representation and backgrounds. For more information, please email kendal at kendal@inherpower.space We are looking forward to seeing you there. - - - #workshop #soundbath #soundhealing #yoga #lgbtq #qwoc #healing #singingbowls #chakras #chakrahealing #traumasensitiveyoga (at Abhaya Yoga) https://www.instagram.com/p/BppJzLMlJGI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1w1gi4viir132

[esinthepod]

Special Announcement: Kendal is conducting 2 sound healing workshops in a Brooklyn, NY at the Abhaya Yoga studio (@abhayayoga). The 1st is on November 10, 2018 and the 2nd is December 15, 2018. Please join her as she focuses on the healing practice of chakra sound bath. These workshops are specifically focused for Black & Brown Womxn of all abilities, representation and backgrounds. For more information, please email kendal at kendal@inherpower.space We are looking forward to seeing you there. - - - #workshop #soundbath #soundhealing #yoga #lgbtq #qwoc #healing #singingbowls #chakras #chakrahealing #traumasensitiveyoga (at Abhaya Yoga) https://www.instagram.com/p/BppJzLMlJGI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13ccodcbeqou7

[esinthepod]

Our little one for her Halloween home schooling assignment had to dress up as an ancestor. I think we made a great choice, dressing up as Raven Wilkinson. - - - #halloweencostume #ancestors #homeschooling #celebratethosewhopavedtheway #latagram #halloween #ballerina https://www.instagram.com/p/BppCjjeFprS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1apc4l696pga1

[esinthepod]

Not surprisingly there are a lot of hateful and lost people within our government and country. We won’t be erased. Make sure you understand the issues, vote and continue to be You! Our crew is tight and we will always fight for our identity, agency and liberation. Search for local lgbtq affirming justice organizations online for support in understanding what is on the ballot in your area. For those in Florida check out @dreamdefendersaction #wontbeerased #transgender #intersex #unapologeticallyqueer #gendernonconforming (at United States of America) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpTAqnGBEgj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4lq94tgkomkq

[esinthepod]

Caption This! “Summer and the Pussy Cats” 💫 “Black Don’t Eva Crack” 💫 “The Peaches Of Eastwick” 💫 Of course you can’t cuz this picture represents almost 50 years of combined best friendship. I know it seems implausible cause we don’t look old enough to be friends that long. @nikkimac7 and @kymbreeze met their freshman year in college and have been besties ever since. @kymbreeze and sat across from each other as the only Blacks in our Civics class in the ninth grade and have been defying what folks expected of us since then. We all are Day 1s! We’ve been there for each other for every heartache, disappointment, death, celebration, career change, dream deferred, relationship, cancer diagnosis, marriage, adoption, birth, graduation, loss, excursion, question of faith and accomplishment. We live very different lives and have different views of the world. And because of responsibilities and locales, don’t see each other often. But when we do, things click and just flow. I am grateful for this chosen family and want them both to know I love them dearly. . . . #chosenfamily #blackdontcrack #lifetimefriendship #loveyoutothemoonandback #bestfriends #blackwoman #cherishfriendship #loyalty #weinour40sbutdontlookit (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpGIYi9BgcK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=otvj1sukovv6

[esinthepod]

Heading out again and what do I see. Friday motivation and another reminder on what is probable and possible for us. As someone who has been in cyber security and management for the past 15 years and never seeing my reflection, has been lonely and difficult at times. Seeing these images, make me smile and feel empowered. @inher_power I know we have the blue print from @marshawn_actyoga, @morgandebaun, @arlanwashere, and @amandlasponsored (at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo1iY85hHWd/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ogz3ljhg08os

[esinthepod]

A few weeks ago, at the @lwtech I listened to Ms. @arlanwashere. She was honest, sincere and forthcoming during the Q&A session. Kendal and I recently found out about her and started devouring information about her hustle, goals, plans and background and became huge fans. Listening now to podcasts as well as videos she publishes that are posted on her company’s @backstagecapital website. When I met her she was patient with me and all the other folks who wanted a picture or a few moments of her time. During our brief exchange I didn’t have much to offer or even ask as Kendal and I are just starting our journey to start our own thing. I just wanted her to know we so appreciate this Black Queer, admittedly Plus Sized Pioneer and modern day Sarah Breedlove (Madam C.J. Walker). I also appreciate someone who like me learned how to deal with rejection as a kid who was raised as a JW and had to go door to door. I do not know if our paths will ever cross again. But I do know this, whatever black owned business Kendal and I will invest in (and we will within the next year) and whatever we create for our people and others, there will be an indelible imprint from Ms Hamilton. #arlanwashere #backstagecapital #queerblackboss #venturecatalyst #venturecapital #venturecapitalist #arlanhamilton #lwtech #blacksinsiliconvalley (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoZrbJmBvq-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vtvr58kwtxi