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i want a spectacular love with you.

one that blows with the dancing breeze and catches along the wildflowers.

i want to be devoured by you and your passion.

i want the ear to ear grins and the confusion and frustration.

i want it all.

i want it all so fucking bad.

and yet

you pay no mind.

im an absence of a thought there once was

and nothing more.

oh to be loved by you.

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wHy the fUcK do yOu hAve so mUcH pOwEr oVer me sTiLl

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people talk about how nostalgia is evil and makes bad things seem good. but in a way i think that’s so beautiful. why would you want to have negative memories. why when you could see the beauty in all that has been your life and be happy with it.

just as long you don’t go back to things that weren’t really that great. what’s the harm in seeing the beautiful parts of everything.

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tumblr should stop censoring

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i always speak of wanting to find love.

but.

the thing is.

i can see the rest of my life with her.

living in a small apartment in a city.

traveling.

simple - beautiful moments.

but.

i just don’t know if i’m ready to start that yet.

i know i can spend my life with her.

but i still want the adventurous youth of life.

traveling alone.

meeting wildly interesting people.

falling in lust for a night.

experiencing the overflowing joy and heartbreak that the universe has to offer.

and then.

and then i will be ready for her.

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feelings are strange and I don’t really understand them. and I wish I didn’t feel so damn alone. I know I have people that love me. I know that. but fuck, sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. I just crave that affection that pure, lovely type that makes your soul happy. the type that lasts.

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I'm missing you more today.

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I'm constantly nauseas. I don't know why maybe it's the drinking or the drugs or maybe maybe it's the deepening sadness, depression, that has set within me. it's too deep to dig back up. it's there. I don't think it's going to be leaving anytime soon. though I wish it did. but I wish you hadn't.

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it’s the simple things like the slight burn of the hot sun on your black leggings and the smell of sunscreen engulfing your nose and the late morning sounds of cars driving by and birds chirping it’s the smell of fresh cut grass and lilacs dancing with the slight breeze it’s the feeling you get the feeling of warmth and lightness radiating from within it’s the genuine laughter it’s the frigid cold water under the stars it’s the vibrancy of every color it’s the stickiness of fresh fruit it’s waking up with an open window and only a sheet to cover you

it’s something to savor

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shenanigans

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honey 🍯

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we are the generation of hooligans

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slow down, you crazy child. ~ Billy Joel

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fuck i miss you

the stages of getting over him