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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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☾ bound by bloodshed ☾

part three

⇠part two word count: 6.2k potential warnings: needles, stitches, sexual content (mdni pls!), brief sub!ellie, mild odaxelagnia, explicit language, praise kink, cunnalingus (r recieving), fingering (r & e recieving) pairing: seattle!ellie x female reader ☾ mood board authors note: the middle section is a flashback that takes place right before part one, which is indicated by italics. also, i don't really write smut so pls keep that in mind lmao. also this dynamic is literally i don't smoke by mitski

FREE FREE PALESTINE!

It’s a few hours later when the sun is deep below the horizon and you’re just under fifty miles east of Jackson. You’ve made residence for the night inside what appears to be remnants of an office building. Ellie tries to stay still as you unwrap the bandage, keeping her jaw clenched tight. She focuses on taking deep and even breaths, and she finds it painful whenever you apply pressure and tug on the wound.

She does her best not to make a fuss, but you can see her wincing in pain and fighting to stay still as you treat her. A bead of sweat falls down her forehead, and her skin is flushed. You know she's not having the best time right now, but she's just trying to get through it.

A sewing needle is mocking Ellie from its place on the table, your hands fumbling through your supplies for any sign of thread. Finally victorious, you use your teeth to cut the material, tongue wetting the end to make it easier to work through the needle.

"Ellie, have some water" you lecture, dumping the remaining alcohol from earlier over her arm, which causes the girl to hiss at the pain. "No use in me fixing you up if you're going to die from dehydration." Ellie shakes her head, despite the thirst that fills her throat. She's trying to be as strong as possible, not wanting to let you see how much discomfort she's in right now.

"I can keep going without water," she says, her face flushed a little bit. "It's alright." But Ellie isn't actually as sure of this as she makes it sound. She knows she probably should drink some water, but she doesn't want to admit it.

"God, you're so irritating sometimes" you mumble, grabbing your own container of water and forcing it into her hands. Ellie snickers slightly at your comment, the first little smile escaping her lips in the entire day.

She takes the water and takes a sip of it, feeling the cold, refreshing fluid slide down her throat. Ellie lets out a deep sigh of relief and takes another sip. "Thank you," she says quietly. You can tell that she really appreciates it, but she also doesn't want you to know just how exhausted and tired she's feeling.

"’Course," you smile at her. Ellie smiles back, though it barely reaches her eyes. You're just patrol partners, she reminds herself. She's not allowed to have feelings for you. And yet, she can't help but feel something. She keeps drinking from the water, not letting go of it yet. Just a few more sips, she promises herself.

You’re clueless to the sight above you, fingers working diligently to make the process go by as smoothly as possible. You push the edge of the needle deep into Ellie’s arm, skin ripping and exiting from the other side. The yellow spongy tissue is speckled with pink, pulling as you attempt to knot the thread.

Ellie watches as your eyes stay focused, the way you hold yourself as you line the tip of the needle to the edge of the opening of the wound. The sight of you – hands covered in her blood and knees between her legs – has her so turned on that she has to dig her nails into her palm, fingers turning white at the pressure. “Am I making you feel sick?” She prods, pushing your leg with her knee.

You scoff at her, using some of your water to attempt to clean off the blood that has stained your fingertips, shaking your head at her insinuation. Admitally, you’re attracted to broken people.

“Wanna see something?” Ellie asks sheepishly, avoiding your gaze as you wipe your hands on your pants, handing her a clean bandage to place on her arm. You rarely see her like this, your interest immediately piqued.

“Uh, sure? As long as you’re not planning on flashing me or something,” you jest, shoving your shoulder against hers. She doesn’t respond to this, instead throwing her bag in her lap and dumping out its contents.

Curious, you lean in closer, your eyes widening as you realize what she's holding – a Walkman. It's a relic from a bygone era, something that of course Ellie would have. "Where’d you get that?" you ask, unable to hide your surprise. Ellie's grin widens, a hint of pride in her expression.

"I had it when I was living in the Boston QZ, before Joel and I came out here," she explains. "It broke a few years ago and finally, after some tinkering, I managed to get it working again." She slides a tape in, presses a button, and the familiar click of the cassette tape being engaged fills the air. A moment later, the tinny sound of music pours forth from the worn headphones, the melody faint.

Soft acoustic guitar chords accompanied with a man’s voice enters your ear and you realize you almost forgot what music sounded like. You immediately sigh at the welcomed calm that overtakes you.

"Do you mind if I just rest for a few minutes?" she asks, sounding a little exhausted. "I know we have to move soon, but just for a few minutes so I can..."

"We got the whole night here, Els," you whisper, taking the walkman from her. She smiles softly as she leans her head against your shoulder, finding herself comfortable in your presence. She glances at you, noting the weariness in your eyes but also the kindness and empathy in your expression.

Despite all this, she can't help but take notice of how close you two are right now. Her head resting on your shoulder. Her body pressed up against yours. Just friends just friends she chants, but she can't deny how comfortable she feels with you right now.

She closes her eyes, attempting to let sleep wash over her slowly. Your heart aches for her. This closeness is something you’ve ached for these past few weeks. You have to remind yourself that she doesn't want you, no matter how much you long for her. "Oh, Ellie,” you mumble, just above a whisper.

"Hmm?" Ellie hums, her eyes still closed.

She's half-asleep now, and the weariness is slowly creeping up on her. But she can hear your voice so faintly, and she wants to listen. She adjusts her position slightly, wanting to lean against you completely. She can't deny it – being this close to you is addicting.

"What is it?" she asks quietly. "Did you say something?"

"O-oh, no sorry. Just um, thinking is all," you sigh. "Go back to sleep." Her headache is starting to get worse again. But she doesn't seem to care much. She can't stay awake much longer. She tries to ignore her fatigue and discomfort and leans into you further, wanting only to rest, just for a few minutes.

Her eyes are shut tightly, but she hopes to hear you again before she falls asleep. Without even thinking about it, she curls herself onto you and wraps her arm around you.

You lean your head against hers, clutching the water bottle in your hands. Your eyes wander over to the door, suddenly aware of the fact that just anyone can barge in. You force myself to stay awake – despite the pain. You have to protect her. As Ellie sleeps, you can feel the pain in your side worsen.

You can feel her heartbeat through her chest, and you are both so close that you can feel her breathing on your face. You let her engulf you, afraid that you’ll never experience this closeness again. Your eyes suddenly feel very heavy, and it was no use; not when the exhaustion and the warmth of Ellie were so convincing.

⭒⭒⭒⭒

The echoes of multiple string instruments echoed throughout the hall, a few folding tables lining one end of the large room. Orange fluorescent bulbs were string to the rafters, the quaint scent of roasted meat and the soft humming of the generators making your chest swell.

Pew bunches have been pushed to the back and against the wall, allowing for a group of townsfolk to congregate in the middle and dance along to the folk music playing from the speakers. You’re humming along to Little Sadie by Crooked Still as you watch Dina maneuver across the dance floor with another gentleman, who she is clearly showing off in an attempt to garner attention from her ex-boyfriend – to which you roll your eyes at. You make a bet with Ellie that they’ll be back together in two weeks, as you both laugh at Jesse’s failed attempts to not drool at the sight of her.

So when Dina makes her way towards the three of you, you’re caught off guard when she takes Ellie’s glass of whiskey and downs it, proceeding to pull the woman towards the middle of the room. As you hear Ellie call Dina a dick in response to her mocking the man, you feel a twinge of jealousy in your gut. You’re aware of Ellie’s obvious crush on her best friend, as is half of the town, Joel included. Yet, that doesn’t help the gnawing bitterness that forces its way up your spine and through your fingertips.

"Looks like Dina's pulling out all the stops tonight," Jesse remarks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, she's really laying it on thick," you reply, trying to sound nonchalant. You force a smile in response, but inside, your heart feels heavy. You've known Ellie for years, and though you've never admitted it aloud, you've harbored feelings for her that run deeper than friendship. But seeing her gaze fixed on Dina, the way her eyes light up when they're together, it's a painful reminder that you may never be more than just a friend to her. You can't shake the feeling of being left out, of watching from the sidelines as Ellie's attention is drawn elsewhere.

Jesse nudged you, breaking your reverie. "Hey, you alright there?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

You forced another smile, nodding. "Yeah, just enjoying the music," you replied, though the words felt hollow even to your own ears.

But Jesse knew you well enough to see through the facade. He gave you a sympathetic look before turning his attention back to the dance floor. "You know, sometimes it's okay to admit when things aren't okay," he said softly.

His words struck a chord within you, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for his understanding. "Thanks, Jesse," you murmured, appreciating his silent support. Despite this, loneliness blankets you, wrapping you in.

You find yourself retreating into the background, music and laughter of the evening fading into the distance as you wallow in your self-pity. And then, unexpectedly, Ellie breaks away from Dina and makes her way over to where you're standing, her expression soft with concern.

"Hey," she says softly, reaching out to touch your arm. "Are you okay?"

You force a smile, though it feels brittle and fragile. "Yeah, just... lost in thought," you reply, unable to meet her gaze. But Ellie isn't fooled by your facade. She studies you for a moment, her eyes searching yours for answers. And then, with a sigh, she takes a step closer, closing the distance between you. She nudges your shoulder with her own, raising her own glass in salut and you both take a sip.

“‘M just feeling sorry for myself and whatnot,” you mutter, awkwardly switching the weight on your feet.

Ellie's expression softens, a flicker of understanding crossing her features. "I get it," she says quietly. "But you can't keep wallowing in self-pity."

Her words hit you like a slap in the face, the sting of truth cutting through the haze of your emotions. "Easy for you to say," you shoot back, your tone sharper than intended. "You're the one who's always the center of attention, while the rest of us are left picking up the pieces."

Ellie's brows furrow in surprise at your outburst, her expression shifting from concern to frustration. "I'm just trying to help," she retorts, her voice tinged with annoyance. "But if you'd rather stew in your own misery, be my guest."

The words hang heavy in the air between you, tension crackling like lightning. You both know that this argument runs deeper than just tonight's events; it's the culmination of years of pent-up frustration and unspoken resentment.

"I don't need your help," you seethe, the bitterness in your voice palpable. "I've been fine on my own this whole time. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what to do."

Ellie's features harden, the hurt flashing in her eyes like a spark igniting a fire. "Fine," she snaps back, her voice sharp with anger. "If that's how you want it, then maybe you're right. Maybe you don't need me at all."

The words hit you like a dagger to the heart, the realization of what you've said sinking in like a heavy weight. But before you can apologize, Ellie turns on her heel and storms away, leaving you standing alone in the midst of the chaos. You can feel eyes on you, a few townspeople whispering to each other. You fold in on yourself, slouching your shoulders and hands death-gripping your glass.

And as the echoes of the argument fade into the distance, you're left with nothing but the bitter taste of regret, knowing that you've let your anger drive away the one person who's always been there for you, the night before you’re both assigned to be on patrol together.

⭒⭒⭒⭒

The two of you sleep beside each other comfortably in the ruined building, not a care in the world, at least for the moment. It's a few hours later when you blink away the sleep, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. You find yourself stirring awake in the early hours of the morning. Your body is stiff from sitting so still all night, and you can feel the effects of the injury on your side.

You can feel Ellie sleeping next to you, warm and cozy. She's got her arm wrapped around you, her head nuzzled against your shoulder. Silently, you scold yourself for falling asleep. You see the light of the early morning beginning to shine through the broken window of the building and feel a strange comfort in knowing that the two of you are in safety together with the sun slowly peering in.

As you carefully unwrap yourself from Ellie, you make sure not to wake her. You silently exit the room and find a closet down the hall. It's picked through – crumbs from the last residents. A half empty bottle of gin sits on one of the shelves, practically calling your name. "Eh, it's 5 o'clock somewhere," you joke to yourself.

The sound of a door opening quickly penetrates Ellie's consciousness. She stirs away and sits up in the darkness of the room, her eyes still closed. Her head is pounding. She can feel the exhaustion and pain coming back now.

Her voice is still soft and sleepy when she glances towards the door. "Hello?" she whispers quietly. She can hear you rummaging around in the hallway.

You turn around, not expecting Ellie to be in the doorway. "I’m sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," you defend, holding up the alcohol. "I found a friend." Ellie rubs her eyes, still trying to wake up.

"It's okay," she says. She's resting herself against the frame of the door, the headache coming back in all its glory. "A friend, huh?" She lets out a small, weary chuckle. "Do you mind sharing?"

You let out a long exhale, still a little drowsy and nod your head. "What time is it? I'm pretty tired still, to be honest." Ellie looks over at you, and you can see she's still half-asleep.

"No clue, almost dawn maybe?" you say, sitting down on a beat up mattress that is pushed against a couch, a large cut in the faux leather cushion exposing the filling. She wobbles over to you and not so gracefully joins you. "Here you go, m’lady," you joke, handing her the bottle of gin. Ellie smiles, snatches the alcohol and takes a small sip.

"I don't think dawn is the right time to be drinking," she says jokingly, before taking another sip. She lets out a long sigh, the alcohol slowly relaxing her muscles and numbing the sharp pains in her head. "That's a lot better," she says softly. She glances at you, trying to hold it together. She knows she's being weak and pathetic, but the exhaustion is getting to her. "I'm so, so tired."

"You don't have to stay awake with me, I'm a big girl. I can drink by myself." Ellie lets out a quick laugh and takes another sip of the alcohol.

"Well, I am thirsty," she teases, smiling.

She glances at you and smiles again, but you can also see the exhaustion setting in. Her eyes are slowly closing, and the room is beginning to spin. Ellie yawns, but manages to stay awake.

"Up to you, princess," you jest, letting your hair down. You take the bottle from her and take a sip, letting the liquid numb the pain. "If you're up to it, we can play a game to pass some time?"

"Oh, a game huh?" Ellie's eyes are half-closed now. She's trying to fight it, but she can feel herself relaxing. “I'm up for it," she says despite a yawn escaping her. You shake your head and roll your eyes, typical. "What kind of game we talking?" She gives you a little wink.

"Hmm, how about never have I ever?" you ask, taking another sip, frowning when you realize how little alcohol there is left in the bottle. Ellie's eyes sparkle as she lets out a small laugh.

"Really?” she quips, raising her eyebrows as if to say are we thirteen? “Haven't played that in a while," she says, but smiles at you and shrugs. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts and then looks back at you. "Okay, let's play."

You move your body so you’re sitting across from one another on the mattress, bottle of gin in between. "Ok, never have I ever…," you trail off, thinking. "Gone skinny dipping." Ellie's eyes widen when you say this, and she lets out a loud laugh.

"Oh, I definitely have," Ellie replies, almost instantly. "I was, like, sixteen," she says. "Me and my buddies just decided to go for a swim in the lake at night." She takes another sip of the gin and looks you in the eye, smiling curiously.

"My turn, now," she says, trying to change the subject. "Never have I ever ... uh, eaten an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting."

"Oh, c'mon." You take the bottle and take a swig, practically downing the remaining liquid. "I told you that in confidence,” you sigh, shaking your head. "Ok.. never have I ever.. kissed someone I shouldn't have." As you take a sip of the alcohol, Ellie once again raises an eyebrow at you.

"Someone you shouldn't have, huh?" she asks with a grin. She's not the one to judge, that's for sure. "Can't say I have," she replies with a small smirk. "So, you've got a juicy story behind that, eh?"

"Not really, it's kind of pathetic really. I'm surprised Jesse hasn't told you." you snicker, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "I had a crush on him when I was younger, before he and Dina got together, but I knew she liked him. Someone dared me to kiss him – so I did,” you continue, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. “Needless to say, he did not feel the same way." Ellie chuckles quietly as you let out a groan of disappointment.

"Sounds like you were younger and more foolish, if I'm being honest," she teases. "Which... I mean, I really don't think I can talk – I'm not the smartest person, or the wisest." Ellie is not planning on drinking much more, but she's finding the pain in her head a little more bearable now.

"Okay, my turn," she says, and she's already got a good idea of what she wants to ask.

"What's your question?"

"Never have I ever ..." Ellie pauses and glances at you, but you can tell the alcohol has made her a little more bold. "Never have I ever ... uh, slept with a girl before."

You take the bottle from her and finish the dingy bottle of gin, letting her stare at your lips. "Just because we haven’t slept together doesn't mean I haven't had some fun before," you say slyly. Ellie doesn't look away, she just keeps looking at your lips and your face. Something about you just makes her smile, and the alcohol isn't helping.

"Well. What about you? Have you ever slept with a girl before?" You ask, voice jumping down to a whisper. You’re suddenly a lot closer to her than you realize. Ellie doesn't say anything, but you can tell the question makes her flustered even more. She takes a moment to think as she glances towards your lips yet again.

"Yes," she replies quietly, finally. "I have." She looks at you again, but this time, she doesn't look away. She's staring at your eyes, and her face is still a warm shade of pink.

"Really? Was it good?" you ask, voice low.

"Good?" Ellie replies quietly. “Hmm, you’d like to know wouldn’t you?” she pesters, eyes dropping down back towards your lips.

"Yeah," you reply quietly. "I would."

"Keep it up and I might just have to kiss you," she says just above a whisper, dangerously close. You’re staring into her eyes, the weight of the world fading away.

Your lips meet in a gentle, tentative kiss, the taste of gin lingering on her tongue. It's a moment filled with a mix of nervousness and desire, a forbidden sweetness that neither of you can resist. As your lips part, Ellie's heart races, her mind buzzing with a million thoughts and emotions.

But then reality crashes down upon her like a wave. Ellie pulls back abruptly, her eyes widening with shock and regret. "I'm sorry," she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have—"

But before she can finish her sentence, you silence her with another kiss, this one more urgent, more passionate. Your hands cup her face gently, your fingers tracing the curve of her jawline as you deepen the kiss.

For a moment, time seems to stand still as you lose yourselves in each other, the world around you two fading into the background. But eventually, you break apart again, breaths coming in ragged gasps as you stare into each other's eyes.

"I'm not sorry," you murmur, your voice filled with a mixture of longing and defiance. "I've been thinking about kissing you since Jackson."

Ellie's heart skips a beat at your words, her chest tightening with emotion. "Me too," she admits, her voice barely more than a whisper.

And in that moment, as you sit there in the dim light of the abandoned building, your hands intertwined and hearts racing, both knowing that nothing will ever be the same again. You may have started as just friends, but now you’ve crossed a line that can never be uncrossed. But for now, you push aside the doubts and fears, allowing yourselves to simply be in each other's arms, cherishing this stolen moment of intimacy and connection.

Plus, you thought, you’ve been dying to know how soft her lips were.

“God…” you mumble against her lips. “You taste so..." you begin but are unable to finish as she swallows the rest of your sentence, a flush spreading across your cheeks. And then you’re pulling your face away again, pushing her against the front of the couch and moving to straddle her. Her arms go to hold your waist, a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. You’re taking in the way her hair frames her face and bunches in the back, the strong muscle of her stomach peaking out from under her thin top.

You can feel her gaze burning into you. "Oh really?" she asks, her voice filled with amusement. She seems to see right through you and it’s almost too much to bear, your body seemingly trembling with lust.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to stop myself,” you manage to breathe.

Ellie laughs softly, "Maybe I don't want you to stop yourself.” She is practically devouring you with her eyes and you can’t stand it.

Ellie moves in closer, pushing her knees up slightly and placing a supportive hand on your ass and the other on the small of your back. She smiles softly, "I mean, that is the idea after all," she murmurs against your neck, feeling confident as she slowly makes her way back up.

You weren’t that close of friends anyways.

Your hands are cupping her cheeks, fingers brushing against the freckles that dance across her face. You place a tentative finger on her lower lip, opening her mouth immediately to encase your thumb. She is staring at you from beneath her lashes and you can feel your thighs tighten at this.

The hand on your ass moves to your thigh, inching closer and closer to where you ached for her touch. Your breath hitched, Ellie smirking with a finger still in her mouth, tongue lapping at the skin. Despite being situated below you, she was in control. With no hesitation, she slid her cool fingers underneath the hem of your shirt.

Sensing her want, your hands grabbed the edge of your top and pulled it over your head. Ellie noticed how your skin was soft, warm to the touch. An oval gold locket rests between your breasts, ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames? The sheer material covering your chest left little to the imagination, Ellie practically drooling at the sight; no going back now. Unable to keep her eyes off of you, her nimble fingers trace your lower stomach, drawing out a soft whimper from deep inside your abdomen.

Her fingers graze the skin under your breasts, breath hitching. She bites your fingers softly, which are caressing her face. The action has you involuntarily bucking your hips against hers, egging her on further. You are torn between wanting to run and giving yourself over fully.

Ellie’s eyes sparkle with sick laughter as she suddenly is picking up the weight of your body to push you down into the mattress and position herself above you, her legs trapped between yours. Her strength and confidence are both evident in the way she holds herself. You can't help but feel a bit of guilt when you stare at her, her body so close and yet so far. She takes in the sight of you below her, the way your hair is spread out beneath you.

You want to let go, to let all of your inhibitions go as she pulls you deeper and deeper into the heat of the moment. She pauses for a moment as she stares straight at you with those bright green eyes, her expression unreadable. You wish she would press her chest against yours, a hot and hungry mix of skin and sinew.

You shudder again as her fingers continue their gentle trail, this time trailing downwards from your abdomen. You feel your cheeks heat as a shiver runs through you at the subtle change in her touch. She continues to trace her fingers across the curves of your stomach, her touch still light but teasing. Her fingers come to a halt again just below your stomach, and you feel the familiar tug in your abdomen.

She lowers her head as her weight is supported by her right forearm, which is resting above your head, while your hands get lost in her hair. Her lips leave soft kisses along your neck and down to just above your breasts, her left hand palming your exposed side, fingers dangerously close to your pants.

She bites your skin, tongue soothing it afterwards. Your hands instinctively tug at her brunette locks, forcing a moan out of the woman above you. She is marking your chest, left hand snaking under your back to find the clasp.

“This ok?” she mumbles, words slurring against the heat of your skin as she is kissing up your neck. You nod eagerly, but Ellie isn’t satisfied. “Use your words, princess.”

“Yes,” you croak out, one of your hands leaving the now tangled mess of her hair to run down the front of her. You help her out of her shirt, pulling her back down by her belt loops, an action that has Ellie soaked.

You’re smiling as you catch her lips in a passionate kiss, both hands fumbling with the button on her jeans. She’s laughing at your keenness. You didn’t care, you just wanted her. You struggle to slide the tight jeans down her legs, getting increasingly frustrated as Ellie’s hands explore your back. “Fuck,” you complain, pulling away from her mouth, irritated at her stupidly attractive half-undressed thighs.

She shakes her head at your foolishness, thoroughly enjoying how worked up you’re getting. She sits back so she’s sitting on her heels, pulling your own pants down agonizingly slowly, wanting to drink all of you in.

She collects your fully discarded jeans and stands to finish taking hers off. A pair of boxers are fitted tightly against her thighs – because of course they are. She’s staring down at you, something animalistic taking over her eyes. You suddenly feel very exposed, dressed in only your undergarments. However, you hold her gaze, not wanting her to realize just how anxious you are. You lean forward on your elbows, chest fully exposed. Ellie’s eyes have become saucers, salivating at the shape of you.

“Are you going to stand there staring or are you going to fuck me already?” You bite, opening your legs ever so slightly, her gaze dropping down to the space between your thighs. And that’s all it takes for Ellie to drop down to her knees, pull your body forward by your waist, and swing your legs over her shoulders. You’re a bit taken aback by the speed of her actions – I guess she has been with other women. She’s careful to avoid the injury on your side, peppering small kisses around the surrounding area.

She lowers her mouth to the fabric of your underwear, tongue running a stripe between you. You tremble at the gesture, shutting your eyes.

“Look at me sweetheart,” Ellie says sweetly, voice laced with honey, to which you oblige. “So wet and warm for me, hmm?” She's praising, her voice against your heat sending you into a frenzy.

Her tongue is back between your thighs and you're bucking your hips up to reach her face, not wanting a barrier between you two. With one hand supporting her weight, she uses the other to push the garment aside, burying her nose deep into you. Her hands are squeezing your hips, her thumbs no doubt leaving bruises.

Her tongue moved in and out, in and out, in and out as you squeezed your thighs around her head. If you weren’t so pussy drunk, you’d be embarrassed by the sounds of her mouth against your clit. At one point she bit down on your inner thigh, hard.

You’re squirming underneath her, the sight of her staring at your sopping cunt almost too much to bear. “Ellie,” you’re whimpering, hands back tangled in her hair. With her help, you shimmy out of your underwear, now completely bare. She’s sitting back again, just staring, your doe eyes looking back up at her.

At this moment, Ellie is ravenous. She is desperately trying to show that she’s in charge, pushing down her word vomit to keep from truly expressing how she’s feeling. She peppers kisses up your legs, right hand teasing your cunt. Without warning, she slides her pointer and middle inside you, a soft gasp escaping your plump lips.

“C’mon,” she coos, free hand rubbing circles into your thigh encouragingly. “Take it for me, baby.” She slides in another long finger, stretching you out even farther. Your eyes water, the pain almost overtaking the pleasure. But then her mouth drops down again and the sight of her mouth against your pelvis almost sends you over the edge.

The sudden urge to kiss her becomes immense, your hands desperately pulling her face up. You can taste yourself on her, tongue invading her mouth. As she continues to pump her fingers, thumb rubbing vicious circles, you pathetically moan into her mouth. This gets her off even more.

With a hand placed on the small of your back, she shifts your weight so you’re on top again, her back resting against the wall. With you straddling, you ride her fingers, her mouth latched onto your chest. As she guides your hips with one hand, yours goes to wrap around her neck, her hot breath against your throat. As you bounce against her hand, her teeth sink into the soft skin of your shoulders, eliciting a noise from you that could only be described as pitiful.

“Lemme,” you breathe, your hands fumbling down her body. “Wanna feel you Ellie.” Her name rolling off your fucked out mouth has Ellie nauseous, her heart hammering against her chest. And so, your free hand plunges deep into her boxers, fingers immediately covered in slick. This time she's moaning into your mouth, speeding up her own actions. She shifts her position slightly to give you better access. Your tongues meet, teasing and delighting as the air fills with the scent of each other's breath.

As you ride out your orgasms, Ellie swears she’s been to heaven and back. Your breathing quickens as your bodies press together, swept up in an ocean of heat and desire. She locked eyes with you, searching for some secret, hidden meaning in your haunting gaze. Unencumbered by the expectations of the world, like shadows merging into one, you melted into each other, losing yourselves in the intoxicating embrace of your passion.

⭒⭒⭒⭒

The next morning breaks with a crisp chill in the air, the early light filtering through the foggy windows. As you stir from sleep, you're met with a mixture of emotions; a lingering warmth from the night before intertwined with a sense of unease.

Sitting up, you glance over at Ellie, who's already awake, her expression unreadable as she stares into the distance. There's a tension in the air, palpable and heavy, like a storm brewing on the horizon. Despite the woman being knuckles deep inside you, she can hardly meet your gaze, fidgeting with the straps on her backpack.

"Morning," you say tentatively, hoping to break the silence that hangs between you. Ellie's response is terse, her gaze flicking briefly in your direction before returning to the task at hand – packing up with brisk efficiency. "Is everything okay?" you ask, unable to ignore the growing knot of anxiety in your stomach.

Ellie's jaw tightens, her hands pausing in their movements for the briefest of moments before resuming their task. "Fine," she replies curtly, her tone sharp. But you can tell it's anything but fine. The tension between you is like a live wire, crackling with unresolved emotion.

"Is this about last night?" you ask quietly, your voice steady despite the turmoil swirling within you. Ellie's shoulders stiffen, her movements becoming more abrupt as she avoids meeting your gaze. "There's nothing to talk about," she retorts, her voice sharp with defensiveness.

You shake your head, frustration bubbling to the surface. "That's not true, Ellie, and you know it," you say, your voice rising slightly with emotion. "We can't just pretend like nothing happened."

Ellie whirls around to face you, her eyes flashing with anger. "What do you want me to say?" she demands, her voice raw with emotion. "That it was a mistake? That I regret it?"

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut, the sting of rejection cutting deep. "No, Ellie, that's not what I want," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just want to understand what this means – for us, for our relationship." You place a hand on hers, which causes her to freeze.

Ellie's expression softens, the mask of anger slipping away to reveal a vulnerability you hadn't seen before. "I don't know," she admits, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I've never been good at this kind of thing." And then Ellie pulls her hand away, her eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and fear. "I don't know if I can do this," she confesses, her voice trembling with emotion. "I'm not sure I'm ready for... this."

Your heart sinks at her words, the weight of disappointment settling heavy in your chest. You had hoped that last night had meant something, that it had brought you closer together. But now, faced with Ellie's uncertainty, you can't help but feel a sense of doubt creeping in.

"I understand," you say, forcing a note of acceptance into your voice, even as your heart aches.

taglist: @seraphicsentences @onlinelesbo @yumimak @elliewilliamsblunt

#ellie williams #lesbian #wlw #fanfic #tlou2 #ellie x fem reader #tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #the last of us 2

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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seriously so crazy to see people still posting fics/reblogging fics during a whole strike. did you miss the point? and no, i'm not talking about those who "didn't know" (very bold claim to make if you're active) as long as you can realize, apologize, and join the strike, then it's cool enough. but those who blatantly continue and try to excuse it with "my account is small" or "the majority of my reblogs are about palestine!" it's like.. you missed the point by a FARRR reach. do you understand how a strike works? do you really care? i can tell when somebody really doesn't care, it's plain fucking obvious, low hanging fruit. the point of a strike is to flood the feed with palestine related posts, and by reblogging other shit, its counteractive. no matter the amount of followers. it really shows your true colors. can you seriously not handle no pixel sex for 1 week? genuinely? are you that damn unloved? unholy shit. if you're trying to justify that, you're seriously shameless and downright stupid. wanna make up for it? take some damn accountability. publicly. without anyone asking you to. anyways, free palestine.

#from river to sea palestine will be free

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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☾ bound by bloodshed ☾

part two

⇠ part one - part three ⇢ word count: 2.6k potential warnings: explicit language, mentions of blood pairing: seattle!ellie x female reader ☾ mood board authors note: shorter chapter this time around, next one is gonna be at least 5k and will include smut, so buckle up :3

important information regarding palestine

It's three days later when Maria begrudgingly finally gives the go ahead for you and Ellie to track down the group. It’s dawn when Ellie re-enters Joel’s house, feeling the tension crackling in the air between them, a silent storm brewing beneath the surface.

Joel looks up as Ellie approaches, his gaze meeting hers with a mixture of concern and frustration. "You sure about this, Ellie?" he asks, his voice gruff with worry. "Heading out on some wild goose chase into enemy territory?" Ellie bristles at his words, her frustration boiling over as she meets his gaze head-on.

"Yeah, I'm sure," she retorts, her tone sharp with defiance. "I'm not gonna sit around and wait for trouble to come knocking on our door. We need to take the fight to them." Joel shakes his head, his expression pained as he reaches out to grasp Ellie's arm, his touch gentle yet firm.

"You're being reckless, Ellie," he insists, his voice low and urgent. "You don't know what you're up against out there. You could get yourself killed." Ellie jerks her arm away, her anger flashing in her eyes as she squares her shoulders, refusing to back down.

"I can handle myself, Joel," she snaps, her voice trembling with frustration. "I'm not some helpless kid anymore. I know what I'm doing. You don’t get to make this decision, not after what happened with the fireflies." Joel's jaw tightens, his own frustration evident as he stands up from the table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as Ellie hits a nerve.

"You think this is about you proving something?" he demands, his voice rising with emotion. "This isn't a game, Ellie. People's lives are at stake here, including yours." Ellie meets Joel's gaze, her eyes blazing with defiance even as her resolve wavers.

"I know that," she replies, her voice softer now, tinged with uncertainty. "But I can't just sit back and do nothing. I have to try." Joel's expression softens, his frustration giving way to concern as he reaches out to cup Ellie's cheek, his touch gentle and reassuring.

"I know, kiddo," he murmurs, his voice filled with a fatherly tenderness that catches her off guard. Ellie hesitates, torn between her desire for independence and her need for Joel's guidance and support. She knows he's only trying to protect her, but the thought of backing down now fills her with a sense of defeat she can't bear.

"I can't just walk away from this, Joel," she whispers, her voice breaking with emotion. "I have to try." Joel sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping in resignation as he pulls Ellie into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around her with a strength that belies his vulnerability.

"I know, kiddo," he reiterates against her hair, his voice thick with emotion. "I know."

As the silence stretches on, Ellie finds herself lost in her own thoughts, the weight of Joel's trust heavy on her shoulders. She wants to shake off the feeling of resentment that had bubbled up inside her, but it lingers, gnawing at her conscience. Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, Ellie breaks from the hug.

"I'm gonna go check on my gear," she mumbles, her voice strained as she avoids Joel's gaze. He nods silently in response, his expression unreadable as he watches her retreat from the room.

Alone in the hallway, Ellie leans against the wall, her heart pounding in her chest as she tries to shake off the lingering frustration. She knows Joel means well, knows he's only looking out for her, but sometimes it feels like he's holding her back, like he doesn't trust her to make her own decisions.

With a frustrated sigh, Ellie pushes herself off the wall and exits through the back door, determined to focus on the task at hand. She rifles through her belongings, double-checking her supplies and ensuring everything is in order for the journey ahead.

But no matter how hard she tries to push the feeling aside, the tension between her and Joel still hangs in the air, a silent reminder of the rift that seems to grow wider with each passing day. It's not just about finding supplies or confronting their enemies—it's about proving to herself that she's capable, that she can handle whatever challenges come her way.

⭒⭒⭒⭒

As Ellie adjusts the bridle on Shimmer’s face, you double check the supplies in your bag. A stablehand passes Ellie a bag to attach to the saddle that holds supplements and extra supplies. As you count the number of bullets and canned food in your possession, you watch as Ellie skillfully tacks Shimmer. You knew how to ride, but you had to admit that Ellie was far better.

Despite feeling a twinge of envy at Ellie's expertise, you remind yourself that everyone has their strengths, and yours lies in other areas. "Ready to go?" Ellie asks, flashing you a grin as she swings her bag over her shoulder. You nod, following suit as Ellie leads the horse out of the barn. Joel is waiting at the gate with Tommy, the older man sighing as Ellie refuses to look him in the eyes.

“Y’all be careful out there, yeah?” Tommy lectures, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You offer him a small smile and nod again.

“No Jesse or Dina?” Joel questions, eyebrows furrowing. You glance over at Ellie and see her bite down on her tongue to keep from lashing out at the man.

“No,” you reply, sighing. “They’re needed on patrols, since we’ll be gone and Eugene retired.” Joel doesn’t seem pleased with the answer, but doesn’t add anything and moves aside to let you both through.

“Be safe out there kiddo,” he says, his face searching for any source of response from Ellie. She hands you Shimmer, turning around to give Joel a bone-crushing hug. He melts into it, placing his head on top of hers. She doesn’t say anything as she pulls away, moving to mount the horse. She offers you a hand as you hop up behind her, arms instinctively wrapping around her waist, to which Ellie can feel a blush creeping in.

With a gentle nudge of your heels, Shimmer begins to move forward, her hooves crunching on the gravel pathway leading out of Jackson. You steal a glance at Ellie, noticing the stress in her brow as she guides the horse forward.

The weight of Joel's unspoken concern lingers in your mind, and you can't help but wonder what's really going on between him and Ellie. But now isn't the time for probing questions or confrontations. You're on a mission, and your focus needs to be on the task at hand.

The rhythm of Shimmer's gait beneath you soothes your nerves, and you find yourself falling into an uncomfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts. The landscape around you gradually shifts from the familiar surroundings of Jackson into the rugged terrain beyond its borders. Tall trees loom overhead, casting dappled shadows across the forest floor as you navigate the winding paths.

But just as you start to relax into the journey, a distant sound breaks the quiet tranquility of the morning—a low, guttural growl that sends a shiver down your spine. Ellie tenses beside you, her grip on the reins tightening as she scans the surrounding woods with a wary gaze.

"Infected," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper as she urges Shimmer to move faster. Your heart pounds in your chest as you peer into the dense underbrush, straining to catch any movement amidst the trees.

And then, they emerge—a horde of infected, their twisted forms lurching forward with a frenzied hunger in their eyes. Panic surges through you as you realize you're completely outnumbered, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

Ellie's jaw sets in determination as she steers Shimmer off the main path, veering into the thick undergrowth in a desperate bid to escape the oncoming horde. Branches scrape against your arms as you duck low to avoid detection, the thudding footsteps of the infected echoing ominously behind you.

As the horde draws closer, Ellie's quick thinking guides Shimmer through a narrow gap between the trees, narrowly avoiding the grasp of the infected reaching out for you. The foliage tears at your clothes as you push through, adrenaline surging through your veins. With each passing moment, the sounds of pursuit grow fainter, indicating that you might have outpaced the infected, at least for now. Ellie slows Shimmer to a halt, dismounting and allowing both of you to catch your breath and assess the situation.

"That was too close," you mutter, wiping your clammy palms against your jeans as you scan the surroundings for any signs of danger. Ellie nods in agreement, her expression grim as she surveys the area.

"We need to keep moving," she says, her voice firm with resolve. "We can't risk getting caught out here again."

"Well, I guess you could say that was an unexpected twist," you remark, a playful glint in your eye as you steal a glance at Ellie.

She grins, her smile infectious as she meets your gaze. "Just another thrilling adventure with you," she replies, her tone teasing.

You chuckle, feeling a warmth spreading through you at the sight of her smile. "Hey, what can I say? I aim to keep things interesting," you quip, nudging her gently with your elbow.

Ellie laughs, the sound like music to your ears as she leans in closer. "Well, you certainly succeeded," she says, her voice soft but playful.

You find yourself drawn to her energy, unable to resist the urge to flirt back. "Glad to hear it. I wouldn't want you getting bored on our little escapades," you tease, a smirk playing on your lips.

Ellie's eyes sparkle with amusement as she leans in even closer, her breath warm against your ear. "Trust me, with you around, I don't think boredom will ever be an issue," she whispers, a hint of mischief in her voice.

You feel a rush of warmth at her words, the air between you charged with a newfound energy. "Well then, I guess we'll just have to keep each other entertained," you reply, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips. And with an arm outstretched, you help her up into the saddle.

Silence falls between you again, this time a welcome presence. You have to physically resist the urge to rest your forehead against her shoulder – because friends don’t do that. Instead, you opt to analyze the fern inked on her forearm, the way her fingers hold the leather reins. Her skin is pale, covered in dainty freckles that dance across her surprisingly toned arms. You pull your lips between your teeth, shaking away words that threaten to spill out of your mouth.

Ellie slows Shimmer down to a walk upon reaching a small, seemingly torn apart town. As her hooves echo against the weed-infested pavement, you take in your surroundings. The sight of a tree growing out of the roof of a building catches your attention, its branches reaching skyward as if in defiance of the decay surrounding it. The windows of the buildings along the street are boarded up or covered in newspapers. A police car is resting upside down, becoming a home for a band of squirrels.

Despite the desolation of the town, you can't shake the feeling of being watched, as if unseen eyes are tracking your every move from the shadows. You’re sure that if you go looking, there’s bound to be infected looming somewhere. So when Ellie suggests stopping for supplies, you hesitantly agree.

Ellie pulls Shimmer to a halt, her gaze fixed on a nearby storefront. "There," she says, her voice barely above a whisper as she points to a dusty sign hanging above the entrance. "Looks like a general store. Might have something useful inside."

You falter slightly, your instincts screaming at you to turn and run, to leave this forsaken place behind and never look back. But you know that's not an option. With a heavy sigh, you dismount, your steps cautious as you approach the storefront. The door creaks open with a protest, revealing a dim interior filled with dilapidated shelves.

Ellie wastes no time in searching the aisles, her movements quick and efficient as she gathers the sparse supplies into her pack. You follow suit, your eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of movement as you work to collect what you can.

But just as you start to relax into the task, a low cry echoes through the silence, freezing you in place. The noise is coming from the back room, sending you into a crouch. It has to be a runner, otherwise the door opening would have alerted the creature.

This is a routine kill, you think to yourself. No use in alerting or worrying Ellie. With a steady hand, you open the door to the office. And there, huddled in the corner, you see it; a lone infected, its twisted form writhing in pain as it claws at its own flesh. It’s mumbling incoherent words, a cruel sob racking its body.

A piece of shattered glass finds its way to your dominant hand as you slowly approach the infected. In one swift movement, your hand is brought to its neck and drags the glass across its jugular. The runner lets out a sharp, shrieking cry as the glass slices into its skin, blood oozing onto your hands. The silence that follows is deafening, broken only by the sound of your own ragged breathing.

After a moment, you’re brought back to reality and quickly scavenge the few stray bullets on the floor and a roll of duct tape on the desk. “Ellie?” You shout, after hearing something loud drop in the store a few aisles away. The silence and stillness of the building fills you with dread, and you search for her with mounting anxiety. Suddenly, you hear the sound of a body hitting the ground in the distance, followed by a soft gasp of breath.

And then, you see her—a flash of red hair amidst the chaos, her form hunched over as she fends off another runner with a ferocity that takes your breath away. Where did it come from? But before you can reach her, you hear a cry of pain, and your heart stops.

"Ellie!" you shout again, rushing to her side as she collapses to the ground, clutching her arm in agony. Blood seeps through her fingers, staining the fabric of her shirt as she grits her teeth against the pain. You kneel beside her, your hands trembling as you assess the wound. It's deep—a nasty gash along her forearm, pink supple skin exposed to the elements.

“Have you always had such pretty eyes?” She whispers, staring up at you despite the blood flowing down her arm. You’re taken aback by the statement, eyeing her carefully and raising your eyebrows.

“You’re a loser,” you quip back, rolling your eyes.

“Worth a try,” she sarcastically responds, hastily wrapping a bandage around her wound, using her teeth to tie it in place. The entire time her eyes are on you, crimson staining her jaw and teeth. Something animalistic awakens in you at the sight, to which you tear your eyes away and struggle to stand back up, heat flooding your face.

Taglist: @seraphicsentences @onlinelesbo @yumimak (comment if u want to be added!)

#lesbian #ellie williams #tlou #tlou2 #fanfic #ellie x reader #wlw #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fic #ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader #wlw fanfic #fanfiction

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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.・✫・appaloosa bones・。.

appaloosa bones coming soon...

potential warnings: explicit language, sexual content, adult themes

pairing: farmhand!ellie x equestrian!reader

✎ summary: you're back at your high school job after graduating college, teaching young kids how to ride horses. it feels like a dead-end; a means to an end as you contemplate what to do for the rest of your life. enter ellie, the reserved farmhand who was hired in your absence. annoyed by your presence at first, ellie begins to forge a soft spot for the way you hum along to tunes stuck in your head and the way you furrow your eyebrows as you measure out supplements. caught between the comfort of familiarity and the allure of the unknown, you grapple with your budding feelings for ellie and the uncertainty of your future. yet, in ellie's presence, you find a sense of belonging and purpose you never knew you were searching for. (modern au based heavily off the songs "amsterdam" & "words" by gregory alan isakov)

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ playlist ✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮

⭒ words by gregory alan isakov

⭒ amsterdam by gregory alan isakov

⭒ the joke by brandi carlile

⭒ fast car by tracy chapman

⭒ don't think twice, it’s all right by joan baez

⭒ carmelita by linda ronstadt

⭒ lavender country by lavender country

⭒ plastic jesus by tia bla

⭒ me and bobby mcgee by janis joplin

⭒ sunny side of heaven by fleetwood mac

⭒ bad moon rising by creedence clearwater revival

⭒ wild world by cat stevens

#ellie williams #lesbian #tlou2 #wlw #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #tlou #fanfic #ellie williams fic #lesbiancowboys #wlwcowboys

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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Israeli Damage to Archives, Libraries, and Museums in Gaza, October 2023–January 2024, A Preliminary Report from Librarians and Archivists with Palestine (LAP), February 1, 2024 (pdf here)

Plus: A Talk About Israeli Damage to Archives, Libraries, and Museums in Gaza, by ArabLit Staff, ArabLit & ArabLit Quarterly, February 8, 2024

(image: «This is what remains of my younger brother's home library. My brother is an extraordinary scholar of Arabic language grammar and was about to earn his PhD and who has introduced six books into the Arabic language rich collection of scholarly books.» – Mosab Abu-Toha)

#from the river to the sea palestine will be free #free gaza #eyes on rafah #free palestine

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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making a separate thread for help links 💖 i will add more links as i find them !!

post w/ part two can be found here

PALESTINE

decolonize palestine

one click goes a long way !

petition signatures

post with various petitions and campaigns

who are the israeli settlers ?

URGE CONGRESS TO STAND WITH PALESTINE

USA - contact your representatives through this google doc

USA - contact

text resist to 50409 to send a letter to your representatives to pass HR3103-- a bill that prohibits tax dollars from going to israel !

UK - call for a ceasefire

UK - email your MP

UK - email to call for a ceasefire

australia - contact your rep !

twitter thread of donation links

protest preparation

companies to boycott

longer list of companies to boycott*

news source for updates

another news source

palestinian news source

palestinian journalist to follow

palestinian journalist #2

palestinian who posts updates about his living conditions

palestinian journalist

news from gaza

gaza news source

palestinian tiktoker who shares updates on palestine

free resources - includes 6 textbooks

israel's plan to ethically cleanse gaza

various subtwt charities for palestine

canadian based donation website #1

canadian based donation site #2

canadian based donation site #3 with information

USA based donation site #1

USA based donation site #2

USA based donation site #3

USA based donation site #4

UK donation site #1

UK donation site #2

UK donation site #3

australian donation site #1

australian donation site #2

australian donation site #3

buy an e-sim for a palestinian !

buy hygiene products for afab palestinians

games for gaza

purchase a keffiyeh !

note: it is not guaranteed that donations will get to palestinians due to the blockade. it is still noble to donate, but keep that in mind.

*another note: it is important to focus on the companies that the bds movement has listed. although important to know about, having a more targeted approach will have better results.

CONGO

2022 & 2023 global report of DRC

genocide watch - DRC

video about congo

congo infographic

another video about congo

canada based donation website

another canadian donation website

3rd canadian donation site

USA donation site #1

USA donation site #2

USA donation site #3

USA donation site #4

USA donation site #5

USA donation site #6

UK donation site #1

UK donation site #2

UK donation site #3

UK donation site #4

UK donation site #5

UK donation site #6

UK donation site #7

UK donation site #8

UK donation site #9

australian donation site #1

australian donation site #2

australian donation site #3

congolese donation site

youtube film about congo

another infographic

thread about congo

SUDAN

this site lets you choose which country you're donating from !

canadian donation site #1

canadian donation site #2

canadian donation site #3

USA donation site #1

USA donation site #2

USA donation site #3

USA donation site #4

USA donation site #5

UK donation site #1

UK donation site #2

UK donation site #3

australian donation site #1

australian donation site #2

australian donation site #3

sudanese donation site, but also has USA and canadian sites near the bottom

video about sudan

quick summary about sudan

list of other sudanese charities to donate to

information about sudan

important information about sudan

sudanese journalist

if there is anything that needs to be added, please feel free to add them onto this post !! I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE IT !!!! i made this thread for basic level information about these genocides; this is not to make you an expert in these topics. if anything is inaccurate, please feel free to tell me and i will correct it !

PLEASE ADD INFORMATION ABOUT OTHER GENOCIDES IF YOU KNOW ANY !!!!!

#free palestine #palestine #sudan #free congo #free sudan #stop genocide #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

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f3mme-f4tale · 2 months

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THE LAST OF US, and the israeli themes surrounding it

i'm very glad that people were able to see one of the previous things i published, where i complied a series of links that you can use to learn more of what's going on in gaza, how you can help, places you need to boycott, etc. however, at the end of the post, there is a large part of it that is DIRECTLY meant for people who play or watch the last of us, or play the last of us 2.

the last of us 2 in specific is not at all elusive in displaying the chilling themes we are seeing before us today. what boggles my mind, is that a select few individuals are choosing to keep publishing fics, reblogging them, uploading content that has NOTHING to do with what's going on, etc. also, you can't reblog one thing about palestine and claim that you care, then flood your account or people's home pages in fanfiction, especially during a media blackout. it just doesn't work like that.

i took the time to make a post discussing all of the israeli/palestinian themes that the games as a whole, but mainly the second one, display. if you are my mutual, a friend, a fan of my work, or a fan of the game or show, then i 100% demand you read this. if you can read fics for hours, you can spend time to read a post discussing the universe those very fics came from.

a lot of us are now aware of the last of us's nature in regards to the ongoing conflict, but not many people know the specifics of it. after seeing this post last night (the person who made this, you are an angel), i decided to take the time to dive into the specifics of the last of us 2's israeli nature, on a logical level, but also a moral level, using a list of sources to help me along, which will be linked at the end of this post. i will link the sources along the way so you know which sources i got my information from.

regardless of if this changes anyone's mind about ignoring the media blackout, or not giving a fuck about what's going on period, know this: regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you believe, from the river to the see, palestine will be free. at this fucking point, the people who are on the right side will keep speaking out and spreading awareness, regardless if you are here to do it with us. that's it. now, let's get into this.

UPCOMING DISCUSSIONS: neil druckmann, the last of us 1, the last of us 2, the last of us show and zionism in the show's cast, boycotting the game and show, and conclusion

NEIL DRUCKMANN

45-year-old neil druckmann, who was the co-director and co-writer for the last of us 2, was born in tel aviv, israel in 1978. according to the above source, druckmann was raised in a settlement in the west bank, where he was surrounded by violence on a daily basis. comics, movies, and most of all, video games, became an escape for him as a child, before he and his family moved to miami when he was 10 years old.

to water down the full story that you can, again, read here, druckmann went to college to major in criminology. however, when he was in college, druckmann took a compsci course, that later lead to his major becoming coding as opposed to criminology. soon after, he knew he wanted a career that related to one thing: video games.

in the summer of 2013, the last of us part 1 was released, and it was renowned as one of best video games to have ever been made. in 2020, druckmann and nd released the last of us part 2, followed by the 2022 release of HBO's show based on the first video game. druckmann played a huge part on set, being not only the co-creator and co-writer of the show, but also having directed an episode himself. druckmann will remain involved in the second season of the show.

bringing up neil druckmann’s background is a crucial aspect of what’s upcoming in this post, hence why i wanted to discuss it at all. druckmann growing up in israel is one of the sole reasons the last of us was ever made at all, and not only that: it is the reason why the second game is the way it is, because neil druckmann planted his israeli ideologies right into it.

so, let’s speak on it.

THE LAST OF US 1

on the official the last of us podcast, neil druckmann himself discussed the last of us' link to the israeli-palestinian conflict. the general consensus was that people will go ridiculously far for the people that they love. this idea of druckmann's was revealed when he discussed the first time the main character of the first game, joel miller, kills somebody to keep his daughter, sarah, safe from harm. this is one of the first scenes in the game prior to the time jump, where the pair's neighbor becomes infected, and attacks them. joel uses a gun to kill him so that the neighbor doesn't harm sarah.

the following is a quote i would like to copy from this link word for word: "Druckmann said he follows "a lot of Israeli politics" and compared the incident to Israel's release of hundreds of Palestinians prisoners in exchange for the captured Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in 2011."

the plot of the first game, as neil druckmann explained, is based around a moral dilemma. he discusses how if joel had to kill a man to save a random kid, would he have done it? druckmann himself says, "but when it was his tribe, his daughter, there was no question about what he was going to do."

while the first game, in my opinion, isn't as heavily centered around israeli themes as the second game is, regardless, it is heavily crucial to note that the basis of the first game derived from a real-life incident involving israel and palestine, where hundreds of palestinian people were released from imprisonment, all in exchange for one israeli soldier. in the second game, the israeli-palestinian themes, if you look closely enough, scream out at you. let's talk about it.

THE LAST OF US 2

"There is a common saying that if you seek revenge, you should dig two graves. Playing The Last of Us Part II is like being made to dig those graves with your teeth (Zacny)."

nd's 2022 the last of us part II is described down to the last letter in the above quote, albeit the game's utterly obvious israeli nature. in this post, the creator, rob zacny, goes on to discuss the game's theme of a "cycle of violence," and how the game reminds you in each grotesque encounter of the cruel ideology behind that. due to what occurs in the last of us 1, joel, basically, reaps what he sows when he is murdered for killing a surgeon who, along w/the group said surgeon was a member of, the fireflies, was planning to perform surgery on ellie, who joel had since grown close to, in search of a cure for the infection that has plagued their world for decades. four years later, the second playable character in the game, who is introduced in the first half hour or so, abby anderson, kills joel to avenge the surgeon who was murdered, who happened to be her father. from the. on, the game follows what, again, can only be described as a "cycle of violence." joel kills abby's dad, abby kills joel, ellie kills all of abby's friends, aims to kill abby in the final battle of the game, but spares abby when ellie's conscious morally attacks her for her decisions.

throughout the 24 odd hour gameplay, the player is allowed to play as ellie and abby, abby's parts of the game being arguably longer than ellie's. the idea this, i believe, is meant to introduce, is one of perspective: the player is meant to be loyal to joel miller once the first game has been finished, so when he is killed, they are inclined to make abby pay for it. however, abby's perspective, both in the past and as the present course of the game goes on, is meant to make the player understand why she did what she did. thus, the moral: there are no good guys in this game. every person is as equally bad as the following, and no one is innocent. however, when we consider the israeli-palestinian nature of this ideology and how it is presented in the last of us part 2, it simply doesn't work like this.

“I suspect that some players, if they consciously clock the parallels at all, will think The Last of Us Part II is taking a balanced and fair perspective on that conflict, humanizing and exposing flaws in both sides of its in-game analogues. But as someone who grew up in Israel, I recognized a familiar, firmly Israeli way of seeing and explaining the conflict which tries to appear evenhanded and even enlightened, but in practice marginalizes Palestinian experience in a manner that perpetuates a horrific status quo (Maiberg).”

when discussing the last of us part 2’s plot, one could 100% argue that there really aren’t good guys on the dual sides of the game. if you compare ellie and abby, you know that ellie went on a murder frenzy to get revenge on abby for killing joel. on abby’s side of it all, you know that abby wasn’t all that great before coming across lev and yara, and even then, she killed people to do what everyone in said world aims to do: survive. prior to finding lev and yara, abby had killed numerous people before, and did, as the player sees, handle joel very cruelly before she ended up killing him. here’s one more example, one that’s more random (but it’s simply to compare abby vs. ellie’s people, if you will): joel and manny. joel went on a cross country murder spree to keep ellie safe, and killed a building full of people at the end of the game to save her life. in regards to manny, if you recall a discussion that manny and mel had in the beginning of abby’s parts of the game, the pair are discussing a happening where a group aside from the wlf, the seraphites (which we will discuss later) attacked them because the wlf killed children who were a part of their (the seraphite’s) group. manny voiced how he would prefer to keep their people safe (the wlf), and challenges mel, implying that those “kids” weren’t really kids, because they were the ones who attacked their guys (the wlf) in the first place. as a general consensus, manny kills several people throughout the course of the game, which can be inferred or seen by the player, making him, for the sake of what i’m getting at, a bad guy.

we see in the game how ellie and abby’s people are unanimously bad. the last of us is set in a world where laws and morals are thrown out the window for the sake of survival, so this is no surprise. however, this dual perspective, “no bad guy,” ideology simply doesn’t apply in the world today. you may compare ellie vs. abby, or joel vs. manny, or bring in more characters in the game, such as tommy, nora, etc, claiming that all parties are bad. that makes perfect sense. but think about it like this: if this is meant to represent the israeli-palestinian perspective, and i give you the scenario of a five-year-old child versus a full-grown IDF soldier, what would you say? isn’t there an obvious answer as to who is in the wrong and who’s not? maiberg is 100% right in claiming that the game marginalizes the real-life palestinian experience. abby, ellie, joel, manny, etc, are not real people. but the thousands of innocent children who have been killed for the ridiculousness and inhumane israeli regime are. you can’t say each side is equal in awfulness, not when one side is full of innocent men, women, and children, some of which could never make it into a year of their lives. not when if one side pauses their battle, there would be a ceasefire, but if the converse pauses their battle, they would all be dead.

“And then they cheered afterward,” Druckmann, who grew up in Israel, recalls. “It was the cheering that was really chilling to me. … In my mind, I thought, ‘Oh, man, if I could just push a button and kill all these people that committed this horrible act, I would make them feel the same pain that they inflicted on these people.’"

remember how i said discussing neil druckmann's background was crucial? it is. druckmann, who, again, was born in israel, told the Washington Post that the game's cynical themes of revenge and suffering is linked to the 2000 killing of two israeli soldiers (tw, lynching), who were killed by a mob (maiberg). allegedly, some of the incident was remembered in film, that druckmann watched, and in his interview, he explained his angry nature that came about in response to the video, and how he desired vengeance.

the last of us part 2 is mainly set in seattle, washington, where secondary main character, abby anderson, resides in with a militia group named the wlf (which we will also delve into later, alongside the seraphites). maiberg brings out how seattle, on a visual and mechanical level, is based around "a series of checkpoints, security walls, and barriers (Maiberg)." he notes: "[seattle] looks almost exactly like the tall, precast concrete barriers and watch towers Israel started building through the West Bank in 2000." here are side by side images for comparison:

now that we’ve discussed this, let us discuss one of most prevalent aspects of abby’s part of the story: the wlf, and the seraphites. the seraphites are a religious group, nicknamed “the scars” due to the scars the members of said group carve into their faces to display their membership, who the wlf, a makeshift militia group, runs into conflict with following the fall of FEDRA, the country’s former military. in a note in the game, a fedra commander explains that the city of seattle has been lost to the wolves (the wlf), who he names as terrorists. maiberg brings out the following: “Here, there are parallels to early Zionist organisations that fought British rule in the region. These organizations were also described as terrorists, and leaders of those organizations later became leaders in Israel, much like how Isaac, the leader of the Wolves, came to control Seattle. Other in-game notes, scenes of urban ambushes, and the bodies of executed FEDRA officers laboriously walk the player through the cliche "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter (Maiberg).”

maiberg also discusses a series of manners in which the fictional seraphites resemble real-life palestinians. here are the three ways he specifically discusses in his original post, but there are much more:

“The same note from the Seattle FEDRA commander that bitterly says the Wolves are in charge explains that it's now their responsibility to not only feed and shelter the people of Seattle, but deal with the "religious fanatics," referring to the Scars.

Later in the game, Ellie finds a location called "Martyr Gate," where the Scars' spiritual leader apparently died, indicating a religious significance of a specific and disputed location, and emphasizing the notion of martyrdom as central to their culture.

The Scars are able to get around Wolf patrols and various barriers around the city via an elaborate, secret system of bridges between skyscrapers. These function as a kind of flipped version of the underground tunnels Palestinians use to bypass Israeli blockades and other means of limiting free movement in order to get supplies and carry out attacks on Israel.”

one more post i would like to link is this one, the very reason i decided to make this in the first place. it captures the zionism in the last of us 2, along with the wlf vs. seraphite conflict, perfectly. i very much recommend you read it, as it explains it much better than i can.

the general consensus is this: the idea that the seraphites are equally as bad as the wlf, which implies that palestinians are equally as bad as israelis, simply doesn’t apply in 2024. as i said before: what is so vile and cruel about a newborn baby? a pregnant woman? an innocent man? NOTHING. part of the reason the last of us captures this so poorly is due to the apocalyptic nature of the world the game is set in. obviously, people would go rogue of their lives were put in peril by not only animalistic infected beings, but also humans. however, we live in a real world where laws and morals do, in fact, apply. this isn’t a video game where those are simply discarded. what the wlf and the seraphites did to each other in the last of us 2 could be any other day for them: but what israel is doing to palestine right now is a war crime, a genocide, and plainly vile.

THE LAST OF US SHOW, and zionism in the show’s cast

i don’t think i need to spend a lot of time here, because if you have made it this far, you are well aware of the real nature of the last of us and the last of us 2 already, so you must understand that the show is HBO’s take on the game’s story (which, need i remind you show-wise and game-wise, neil druckmann played a huge part in). i simply bring it up so that people are aware of the fact that the 2022 show is ALSO linked to the ongoing conflict, and the cast is a major part of that (however, if anyone would like me to delve deeper into the show, let me know, and i 100% will).

for the following season which is a sequel to the last, theorized to center around the happenings of the last of us 2, members who are set to play a few crucial characters in the game have been announced. this includes isabela merced, who will play dina woodward, ellie’s romantic partner for most of the game, alongside kaitlyn dever, who will play abby anderson.

many people freaked out when they realized kaitlyn dever will be playing abby, but not for the reason they should have been. if you are a last of us fan, you are well aware that abby’s muscles are a central aspect of her persona. yet, kaitlyn dever is on the skinnier side, and according to some, does not resemble abby.

but this is not the issue that is most crucial to discuss here.

kaitlyn dever is a zionist, and so is isabela merced (i am under the impression that both of these claims are true, but i had trouble finding a source i deemed reliable enough to link here. if i do, however, i will). now, while i’m not here to riddle you with conspiracy theories, people believe this (zionism) is the reason kaitlyn dever in specific got the role of abby anderson (there is a separate actress, shannon berry, who more closely resembles abby, but made a post in solidarity with palestine. this is theorized to be the reason why she didn’t get the part, and why kaitlyn dever was announced shortly after this particular actress made said post). let us not also forget that ellie’s actor, bella ramsey, is also in support of israel, which can be seen here.

all of the previously provided information brings me to my final part of this post: boycotting the games, and boycotting the show.

BOYCOTTING THE GAME AND SHOW

i could go on and on about why this is so crucial, but we would be here forever. however, i’m going to paste in what i wrote in this post surrounding the topic of boycotting, as i personally believe i got it down quite well in regards to the last of us (the show and game). it reads:

"DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist."

what it comes down to is this: purchasing the game or watching the show directly from nd or HBO is not a must. spreading awareness and speaking out about palestine is. you are more than capable of not purchasing the game, or watching playthroughs, or buying the game secondhand, etc. you are more than capable of pirating the hbo show so that money is not made off of your engagement. it's not that difficult. i have said it once, and i will say it again: boycotting is a form of resistance, and that is the least we can do for those suffering in gaza as you read this. resist. people openly admitting that they went and purchased the game anyway simply make me sick. i hope you know what an awful thing to brag about that is, and how despicable of a human it makes you.

CONCLUSION

there's so much to discuss when it comes down to this topic, and it's possible that in the future, i will make a second part to this. however, for now, i really hope this does suffice. i believe knowing of the game's israeli nature is a step. but knowing the specifics is a leap, one that i need everyone engaged in this fandom to take, hence why i wanted to make this post at all.

i'm not saying anyone needs to quit liking the games or the show or whatever. i'm not saying you need to delete or throw away a game you spent $60 on. i've seen so many people who are way too dense to understand that. what i'm saying is that it's crucial you are at least AWARE of the content you are consuming. aware of why it even came about at all.

in my opinion, you can't separate the game from the roots. but you can remain aware of the inner workings of this world you've grown to love. you can keep spreading awareness about it, and you can do right by the people in gaza by discussing the ongoing genocide, and using your voice as much as you can.

i'm so lucky to have been able to gain a following on here in such a short amount of time, even if that following has gone up and down because i've chosen to post more about palestine as opposed to my previous content (granted, that fact won't deter me at all). keep reblogging. keep speaking up. keep using your voices. the people in gaza need us. be there for them.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

neil druckmann | the official the last of us podcast | the not so hidden israeli politics of the last of us 2, by emanuel maiberg (i highly recommend you read the full post. it discusses several crucial details i didn't discuss in this post) | galid shalit prisoner exchange | 'The Last of Us Part II' Is a Grim and Bloody Spectacle, but a Poor Sequel | Veiling Colonial Violence: The Last of Us Part II, Israel and the Erasure of Power (full disclosure, i did not read the full post. i merely needed the quote in the very beginning of it) | zionism in tlou2 | isabela merced | kaitlyn dever | bella ramsey's support of israel

PALESTINE LINKS

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#palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #eyes on rafah #free palestine #tlou2

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