fakemuggle529-blog

[fakemuggle529-blog]

I just think...

That not enough movies/ TV shows learned from Jurassic Park.

The best possible ending is a T-REX swooping down and eating somebody.

And literally any production, good or bad, would be instantly improved by it.

The Emoji Movie - first bad joke, T-REX. Changes the story and easily triples the action.

Hell's Kitchen - some douche is being lazy and not taking the punishment, ANIMATRONIC T-REX crashes through a fake ceiling and eliminates him instantly. I DARE YOU to Tell me you wouldn't watch every week just to see that happen.

GoT Season 8 - the White Walker King raises his arms, thinking he's got this, T-REX. Winter's over, it's now man VS. Dino.

Super Sweet 16 / Bridezilla - T-REX pops out of a dress rack just to shut her up a minute.

The possibilities are endless!

[fakemuggle529-blog]

"HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!?!"

I could go on for days about the differences between the HP books and the movies (just ask my wife). 7 books, 8 movies, 4 directors, 2 screenplay writers, a myriad of actors or varying levels of talent, but this 1 line haunts every single Harry Potter fan. One comment about this line was "we're never going to get over this, are we?" That one comment sparked this post, which was originally meant to be a list of my least favorite movie moments and why.

But Harry Potter is my favorite subject, and my rant about this became a separate post to answer that rhetorical question.

Simply put, no, we're not going to get over it. But why won't we?

As with any adaptation, since the world isn't ready for a 10 hour movie based on 1 book, bits and pieces of the Harry Potter books needed to be cut out. (I'd be down for that movie, but I digress)

Things like the Draco/Pansy romance, Rita Skeeter being an unregistered Animagus, or winning the Quidditch cup ultimately don't have an impact on the plot of "evil wizard finds path to immortality, boy wizard must stop him with the help of his friends," so they can get cut pretty easily.

Even things like the Marauders' full moon adventures and creation of the Map, Umbridge setting the dementors on Harry, and Neville's parents' fate are secondary material, meant to give more weight to the main story:

- The world would still be in mortal danger without four teenagers creating a map of their school, but that map helped stop that danger;

- Umbridge would still be a cruel bitch if we hadn't known she sent the dementors, but that tidbit show her own demented state of mind and how far she'll go to get what she wants.

- and we'd still want Voldemort dead even if we'd never heard of Neville Longbottom, because we've seen the impact he had on Harry. The info about the Longbottoms just gives more depth to the characters involved.

But regardless of what they left out, the basics stayed the same: "evil wizard finds path to immortality, boy wizard must stop him with the help of his friends" continued, except the written version had more information than the visual. The fans already knew what was missing, so our brains filled it in for us. And leaving out that bit of info for the adaptation process allowed people who hadn't read the books to know what was going on and how the information fit together, even if they had less information than the fans.

(I think of the miniseries Chernobyl, when the general asks how a nuclear reactor works. He gets a bare bones explanation, and can parrot it back to his subordinates later. He might not me able to do the math or understand all of the technical jargon, but that simple explanation has given him enough info to get things going.)

As the movies progressed, we saw more and more get left out since the books only got longer, or more in depth, or both which each new addition, but no matter what, that skeleton was still there, "evil wizard finds path to immortality, boy wizard must stop him with the help of his friends." And the 'friends' part was even more accurate with supporting characters!

Hermione was the nerd from the books, Ron was the goofy best friend, Neville was the underdog, Draco was the bully!

Every single character was fitting their book counterparts perfectly, they just couldn't be as in depth in this medium!

Lucius was the oily bastard you knew he was, Sirius was the Godfather who wanted to be there but couldn't, Bellatrix was the psychotic fanatic who'd do anything to earn Voldemort's praise, Dumbledo--

And that's where the similarities stop.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is a lot of things: he's the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot (the Wizard High Court), honoree of the highest medal of Honor possible for Wizards, one of the most notable contributors to the field of alchemy, and from what I understand a PHENOMENAL dancer.

He's human, and fallible like any other human, but he is definitely not stupid.

Just in book 1, before Ms. Rowling had even gotten into her stride as a storyteller, we see Dumbledore:

Send Harry to the safest place possible; watch over him as much as possible; send updated owls to Harry with every change of address; send Hagrid as the most friendly way to introduce Harry to his true world; Send Harry the invisibility cloak as a connection to his dad; say that he 'doesn't need a cloak to become invisible;' RETURN the cloak after Harry lost it; and turned around on his trip to London on some intuition, barely managing to save Harry's life.

While he might not be the warmest of people, probably due to a tendency to think too deeply, Dumbledore shows the strongest of power when he needs to fight, the quickest of words when he needs to talk, and what seems to be a clear sense of right and wrong (the waters get a little murky with that last one, but he stands up for what he sees is wrong, regardless of what he thought at 18), and a calm dignity, even while getting his feathers ruffled.

And that's exactly why this gets under our skin so much.

As fans of the books, we see Dumbledore do it all, in great detail. Even that infamous line is ended with "he asked CALMLY" (All Caps is my addition). We see Dumbledore:

-sit next to an 11-year old who nearly died recently and promise to some day tell him about the first time he nearly died as an infant AT THE HANDS OF THE SAME GUY... Calmly, because this is a conversation he's been dreading for years, so he's prepared.

- hire a clear fraud just to fill his staff; have two 12-year olds crash an illegal flying car into a living tree AND talk down the teacher that wanted to skin them alive; deal with an unknown threat that was attempting to kill his students; get forcibly removed from the school, only return ready to console grieving parents AND watch the same 12 year olds from earlier emerge from an unfindable chamber WITH the 11 year old who was thought to be dead....calmly, because he's lost loved ones, and he knows what it is to grieve.

- Hire a werewolf; keep that a secret from his students, their parents, and maybe even the government; and have two 13 year olds illegally time travel to save an animal an a convicted felon...calmly, because an innocent man's life is important.

- Host a death tournament specially designed to 'not kill;' and slowly watch a plot to revive to worst wizard ever unfold before his eyes....calmly, because he didn't have all of the information yet.

- Get slandered by the entirety of the government, and forcibly removed from his position in the Courts; have a government spy forced onto his staff; purposefully pissed her off; evade arrest and go on the lam...calmly, because he knows he's right, and the truth will out. THEN come back, fight every Death Eater in the ministry, fight Voldemort, convince the government not to arrest him, then talk Harry through his Godfather's death....calmly, because he knows he messed up, he even says that Harry show be so much angrier, and 'please, by all means, destroy my possessions'.

- Find out he's dying; find out there's a hit on him; recruit an old colleague, and use Harry as a means to reveal a crucial part of Voldemort's past, which he's been teaching to Harry all year; find a horcrux as well as pass on as much info about them as possible; AND get psychologically tortured mere moments before being murdered....

- AND, postmortem, we find out that Dumbledore has been playing pretty much everybody, but especially Harry....calmly, because for once, it really was "the greater good."

But he was fun loving too, maybe childishly so due to the fact that he had to grow up so fast.

- Some of His first words after Harry starts school are, "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! And tweak!"

- He did what was best for the school AND Firenze by hiring the centaur, but he clearly enjoyed shoving it in Umbridge's face.

- and let's not forget the night he picked Harry up front Privet Drive. He obviously made those glasses hit the Dursleys as some small payback for how they treated Harry.

That's Dumbledore. Serious, wise, and seriously wise, with a penchant for mischief.

The movie Dumbledore gave none of that, especially with that terrible, terrible reading of that line.

That one line changed the entire character of Albus Dumbledore. Instead of the cool, calm, and collected man he always was, he lost control. In front of his foreign and governmental guests nonetheless. That would never happen to Dumbledore. He's seen the signs, and can tell something is up. That's WHY he hired "Mad-Eye."

Even that stupid Christmas scene added to the HBP movie, as much as I freaking HATE it, doesn't CHANGE anything. The Death Eaters attack and for some reason burn the house down. Boo hoo. Nobody gets hurt, nobody dies, the house is back to normal the next movie. No big deal. They just wanted to add to the drama some, instead of the usual deduction from the cuts.

This change is why we hate SO many other adaptations, or "cuts" as they call them.

-Those of us who are old enough to remember will freaking riot over the "Han shot first" argument, because we knew that there was no way in hell Han would sit and let Greedo take a shot at him, ESPECIALLY since they freaking showed it first, then changed it later.

-It's why we all hate M. Night. Shyamalan's fucking guts, because he took the single greatest cartoon masterpiece ever created, and tried to make it better. The one scene that sticks out to me is when they're trying to escape the earth-bending prison camp. First, they had to be removed from the land entirely, or their pride would cause a rebellion instantly; second, 6 benders did what we see Toph do her first lesson as a blind toddler. Unlike Lucas, Shyamalan wasn't trying to appease anyone. He just wanted a name for himself, so he decided to take on the most popular cartoon ever. Pass or fail, he has that fame now.

Some of the fault might lie with the director, or possibly even the actor himself. Michael Gambon is a respected actor, and probably had a sense for how the character would play, even if that sense might not have been based in the books. Couple that with multiple directors by this point, multiple actors having playing Dumbledore, and the books still gradually coming out, and the information and range for the character of Dumbledore might have been quite limited.

And let's not forget those cuts that needed to be made. With a shorter story comes a need to get the information across faster.

Instead of mulling it over for a moment while the rest of the group argues (and probably for a good year or so by this point), and calmly asking Harry if he entered himself in the tournament, the quick explosion both saves time by cutting the opening argument AND gives the audience a cue for suspense. They know something is wrong NOW, and they don't know what, but they'll find out as the people on screen do.

Personally, I believe that this system can be broken by a rather simple solution: TV show.

Instead of one movie, each book gets one Season, and every couple chapters or so gets an episode. I foresee problems as we get to the later books as opposed to the early one, since they start getting thick AF with GoF.

But I think the pros outweigh the cons.

-The locations for HP are actually incredibly limited. They pretty much go back and forth between the same dozen locations all seven books, so you could make sets to switch out whenever needed, and just reuse the exact same sets for seven straight years, with little to no change in between.

- We have all of the books now, and then some, and then some extra BS on top of that, and the plethora of headcanon out there, so we have more than enough information for every single thing about this place, excluding literal physical dimensions. Find a kid who looks like Harry, another actor who can flawlessly pull off Snape, and some old guy who wants to be goofy sometimes, and you've got gold.

- We could actually include the minor characters too. Peeves could pop in and out every few episodes, Dobby can play the role he was meant for, Kreacher can exist as more than 3 lines. The vanishing cabinet could actually be introduced in year 2, then addressed in Year 5, then revealed properly in year 6. Moaning Myrtle has her scenes, Bill Weasley has his, Tonks could be the most important female character besides Hermione or Ginny.....

Anyway, you get the picture. This whole thing was inspired by one comment, and I've been working on this for almost 6 hours now. Pretty sure I've worked harder in this post than any papers in high school...

Hollywood, if by some miracle you see this, I'll totally be a screen writer for the Harry Potter TV show. In the meantime, goodnight.

[fakemuggle529-blog]

Hear me out..

..I know they've already chosen Robert Pattinson for Batman, but I have an idea that is guaranteed to be highly rated, stars a PHENOMENAL actor, and will have audiences loving absolutely every single minute:

An Batman TV show, complete with ALL of the villains, starring Peter Dinklage.

But the entire show is shot with the purpose of completely ignoring any size difference.

Killer Croc terrorizing the sewers? There's Dinklage on the same level, never showing his torso. (Think the Knights Who Say Ni. Shot at a slight angle, making them look bigger)

Ra's Al Ghul pulling out some ninja moves? Watch Tyrion match him blow for blow, shot elbow down only.

Poison Ivy trying to seduce our hero? He's clearly the same height as her, maybe a shot of both butts at the same height.

But have some fun with it too.

Dick Grayson as a child is also clearly the same height. You could do a trick shot for most of it, but I personally like the idea of having the actor playing Dick be the same height as Dinklage, and you show the two side by side briefly, never to show it again.

Then have the Penguin look up into Batman's face but look down at Robin or something.

The possibilities are endless.

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As a receptionist...

...I lie countless times a day.

Customer: "How are you?"

Let's see:

-I'm exhausted

-my ass hurts from sitting in one spot for hours on end

-I've repeated the same greeting 300 times today alone

-75 of those times people screamed at me for doing my job

-my first legally required 10-minute break has been pushed back because the store is at capacity and nobody can drop everything to relieve me

-the custom OS designed specifically for our company and our company only just malfunctioned, adding at least 10 minutes per transaction (if we're lucky)

-AND both ATMs provided for convenience just subtracted $300 from accounts without giving money

Me: "I'm great, thanks!"

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Dude just asked me if there's backstory for how Tom Riddle became Voldemort.

Me:

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So, a friend made a post about feminism, and I made a comment differentiating between Feminists and Femi-nazis, which devolved into differentiating between Hating Republicans and hating Trump supporters.

This Jason dude thought he'd get all high and mighty and tell me off for "condemning" the right wing.

I think I shut him up.

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So

I just stumbled upon a post that said that Red Mask, Deadshot, and Deathstroke are coming after you, and you can pick 2 non-powered heroes from either DC or Marvel to defend you.

I personally picked Nightwing and Green Lantern (NOT Ryan Reynolds, Hal Jordan as he should be. Idk if he's technically non-powered, but his powers come from a powered object, not him himself, so I count him.)

And it got me thinking about DC's movie making prowess, or lack there of.

And I'm sure this has been picked to death already, but I want to get this off my chest for Anxiety reasons, so here goes.

Marvel has spent the past decade+ not only making record setting movies, but also using those movies to set up character backgrounds and motivation.

Want to know Thor's story? There's 3 movies about JUST THOR, let alone the Avengers movies which only develop the character further.

(I'm going to ignore continuity mistakes and simply focus on the effort put into each character)

Iron Man? Same thing, 3 solo movies plus the Avengers.

Black panther hasn't had much yet, but it's at least on the way, and the things that have already happened will only set up the character better.

Hell, even the Doctor Strange movie, despite it's relatively low return, made Doctor Strange (plus the plot for Endgame) more interesting.

What do we have from DC? 10 Batman movies, most with different directors and actors, which makes caring for the character difficult, ALL involving Batman's tragic backstory, NONE moving past that.

And like 7 Superman movies plus a TV show. All different styles, so we don't even have a solid Superman yet.

Yeah, we've started getting some films for other heroes, but they're only there to set up the team movie, never to set up the character.

I want to see the Gotham TV series turned into the DC universe.

Cool, we know about Batman's parents dying. Now show Bruce growing up into Batman, almost an Arkham Origins movie.

Show him meet Selina Kyle, show them antagonizing each other.

Show Jim Gordon's backstory, why he wants to fix the broken system, how Batman fits into all of it.

And speaking of the Gordon family, where the hell is Oracle? You know, Barbara Gordon, Jim's daughter? Joined forces with Batman, only to become crippled and wheelchair-bound, all the while being the genius behind Batman?!

That would be extremely empowering to the audience. Handicapped? So is Oracle, now watch her kick ass. A woman in a man's world? So is Oracle, now watch her make Batman look like a little bitch.

Where's Dick Grayson, of the Flying Graysons, who joined Batman as sidekick but went on to become Nightwing, his own separate identity, no attachment to Batman whatsoever.

Where're the villains?! Yeah, yeah, we see Joker, Bane, and Harley. I'm glad to see a Joker stand alone movie, but there's really so much more.

Poison Ivy, infused Chlorophyll into her body, becoming part plant, able to give off pheromones to manipulate men?

Mister Freeze, scientific genius, driven insane by the loss of his wife, committing crimes just to cure her incurable disease?

Scarecrow? Two-face? Mad Hatter? Penguin? Deathstroke?! How the hell does a children's cartoon from the mid 2000s have more accurate world building than every single movie put to screen?!

Yeah, I realize that we DO so some of these villains in the movies. But they're either not important enough, so poorly made, or crammed in with a dozen others so that there's literally no way to give them proper backgrounds.

And let's be honest, nothing that came out in the 90's counts. CGI was far too new to be taken seriously, but they relied on CGI over practical effects. The Terminator should never have downgraded to Mister Freeze. And big names do NOT mean good movies. I'm pretty sure that the 60's TV Batman with Adam West had better character building, better acting, and better practical effects then today's DC Movie.

Marvel made a dozen+ cinematic wonders with like, 3 main villains spread throughout the entire Galaxy, and I'm not even sure they're actual Marvel Comic villains...

But DC can't make 30 distinct villains in a single city interesting? That's just sad.

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You know how Facebook lets you know when a friend is tagged in a post?

Well, I'm friends with this kid who's a younger brother of a friend from high school. Kid's like 20, barely out of high school, and he got married on April 27th, 2019.

Normally, I really don't have much to say about getting married so young. Either it works or it doesn't. It's not for everybody. Some people just aren't mature enough to be in such a complex relationship for the redt of their lives. Some people are.

I'll tell you how I know they're not.

First thing is that they come from religious families, where sex before marriage is forbidden. Again, if you so choose, ok, but it's not for everybody.

I don't know the kid's wife at all, but she tagged him in a post today.

She was gushing about how even though she's sick in urgent care, she just couldn't imagine loving him any more than she had on April 27th, but her love has grown so, so much since then.

You know. 12 days ago.

I don't know if I'm touched by her innocence, or disturbed by her childish naivete. It's by far the closest I've seen an adult relationship come to a middle school fling.

I wanted to comment on it and just be like:

"honey, the only thing that has changed in 12 fucking days is the fact that you've had dick.

Yeah, it's great, and the release of endorphins can make you experience a surge of affection for your partner, but grow up.

Talk to me in a month, when you realize that his morning breath makes your skin crawl.

Talk to me in 3 months, when you've come to the realization that he can't aim at the toilet to save his life, and you have to constantly clean his piss off the floor.

Talk to me in a year, when you realize his family is more important than you thought, or that he plays video games rather than take out the trash.

Talk to me in 3 years, when you've struggled to find apartments together, your credit scores are affected, your family can't or won't help you.

Talk to me after you've been homeless together, or you've had to pick which bills to pay and which could be shut off until next paycheck.

Talk to me after a fight, because I guaran-Damn-tee you haven't had a fight where you're sick of your partner's fucking face and wish that you could just get as far away from them as humanly possible, while thinking of every form of torture happening to them slowly.

Because that's a thing. You get sick of them.

But if your love really does grow, so will your ability to not only look past his flaws, but to communicate with him to fix them, or use them to an advantage, or learn from them.

Life makes you grow.

But life takes a lot longer than 12 days."

And then I'm just appalled at how very little their parents have prepared them for the realities of sharing a life with someone.

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Is anybody else totally not convinced that Albus Dumbledore is so old..?

I know that they never give an exact date for his birth in the books, but we do have a few hints as to how old he is, and how old other ageless characters are.

First, we know that "Dumbledore defeated the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945" because of the chocolate card in book 1, and again in book 7 through Rita Skeeter's book.

We also learn about the Dumbledore/Grindelwald friendship in Skeeter's book. It mentions their friendship ending, and Dumbledore "waited a few years" to do something about Grindelwald's reign of terror.

Now, unless the British "few" is completely different than the American "few", that's like, 5 years. 7 max. 10 if you want to be a vague ass.

But after that we have terms like "several" and "dozen" that also indicate small numbers, but are also known to be bigger than "few".

So, let's assume that Skeeter is a vague ass, and uses "A few" to represent 10 years.

We know that Dumbledore met Grindelwald when he was about 17-18, as he had very recently had to put his year of travel aside.

So, that puts Dumbledore at about 28 years old in 1945. Now, I'm not great at math, but I'm pretty sure that he would have been born around 1917, putting him around 80 when he died, give or take a few months.

Then we have our beloved half-giant and our villain, who also are not explicitly aged. Their ages are rather easy to determine.

We know that Hagrid was expelled in his 3rd year, and if I'm not mistaken, Riddle was a 6th year at the time. We also know that the Chamber was opened "50 years ago" in book 2.

Obviously, that could be a generic number used. I'm pretty sure that people normally round up in such cases, so let's say that it actually happened 45 years before CoS.

That puts the Chamber opening in 1947, 2 years after Grindelwald's defeat, meaning that Dumbledore would have been about 30 at the time.

So, since we know what years the boys were in when the Chamber opened, we can determine that:

Hagrid would have been roughly 13, so he would have been born in 1934.

And Riddle would have been roughly 16, so he would have been born in 1931.

Making Dumbledore 14 years older than Riddle, 17 years older than Hagrid, and 62-63 years older than the Trio.

And then, at the end of book seven, had those 3 older characters survived, their ages would have been:

Dumbledore, 80

Riddle, 66

Hagrid, 63

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The messed up part is that not only did his followers know all of this and voted for him anyway, but these are the REASONS they voted for him.

I posted this on my Facebook, and i have no problem posting it here:

If you voted for Trump despite all of this, despite your religious texts telling you not to, YOU ARE ALSO A PIECE OF SHIT. PERIOD. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[fakemuggle529-blog]

As with most things, I prefer the Boy Meets World version.

Shawn: tell me something, How do you ask a girl out?

Cory: simple, you open the door and say "get out, you're bothering me."

[fakemuggle529-blog]

I FOUND IT! This post is fantastic!

But I want to know the opposite: what is the most amount of work you've done, when only the bare minimum was required?

Here's mine.

My wife and I spent 1/3 of 2018 homeless, and we stayed in cheap motels or our car for literally 4 months.

During that time, the motor for our electric car windows stopped working. We opened the door cover, tinkered with the motor, and managed to make it so that the driver's side window is the only one that does not work with the motor (don't ask how, but that's where we are.)

One night, while we were staying at a hotel, i accidentally locked the keys in the car. Well, I wasn't about to go back to the room and tell my wife what i did, so I looked up the nearest gas station on my phone and went off in search of a door jimmy.

The nearest station didn't have one, so I walked to the next nearest. No luck.

Then I look across the street, and see an Advanced Auto. I hurried across, but got there 3 minutes after they closed.

Still not wanting to face my wife, I looked up the nearest Wal-Mart. 2 miles away. So I hoofed it 2 miles to Wal-Mart, figuring I could utilize the old "coat hanger in the door" trick.

They didn't have a single wire coat hanger. So I looked up other methods of breaking into a car. One article mentioned using a door stop and a piece of string.

Walked around for an hour trying to find a door stop. Finally did, but it was far too thick to fit between the door and the frame.

So I finally settled on a crowbar and some string, and walked the 2 miles back to the hotel.

I started trying to break in, but the string just wasn't cooperating, and shortly after that my wife saw what I was doing and came down to help.

After who knows how long, she went to the driver's window, pushed down, and the Damn thing slid right open.

4 hours, more walking than i ever care to do, and way too much stress for such a simple project.

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To everybody complaining that The Battle of Winterfell was too dark:

You were sitting on your couch, in your cozy living room, with a bowl of popcorn and your favorite Pajamas on, and you're complaining about the lack of light?!

That was a very deliberate choice by the directors. It put you as close to understanding the plight of our heroes as possible without actually fighting the fight yourselves.

You think Jon Snow could see shit through that snow storm?!

You think that Grey Worm could stop the action for a minute to go pee or figure out wtf was going on?

You think that every single character we've come to know and love throughout the series had a clear idea of what was happening at every point of the fight?!

Hell no. But they stood their ground, fought for the lives of every single man, woman, and child who has ever existed or will exist in the future.

Our heroes shit their pants watching innumerable Dothraki, the fiercest warriors on the planet, ride into the night with flaming swords and disappear without a sound.

They watched their fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces fight to the death to protect the world, fall on the field of battle, and then rise again as undead to fight for the enemy.

All with torches and a fire-trench.

So, yeah. It was dark. But anything else would have done a disservice to the heroes who fell, and the war still to come.

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Deadpool. Easily the best anti-hero in movie form atm.

I LOVE Deadpool: I've watched the first movie numerous times; I have a DP Stash Jar for my weed; DP2 is one of 2 movies to make me physically cry (the first being How to Train Your Dragon 2).

But there's no way that the first movie could continue after the confrontation with Ajax on the freeway.

Ajax specifically tells us that his mutation killed the nerve endings in his body, rendering him unable to feel pain.

But he also says that he does NOT have the ability to heal like Deadpool does.

So, medically speaking, Ajax's shoulder should be completely useless after a sword pins him to a concrete wall.

Now, I'm not horribly familiar with anatomy, but there's muscles, and tendons, and joints that would have been severed/incapacitated, right?!

No pain does NOT equal inability to bleed, right?!

Just something that's always bugged me.

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HUFFLEPUFF: “You see, today I found a note from my seven year old self. All it read was, ‘When I grow up, I just want to be a good human.’ And all I could think was 'I really hope I haven’t let her down.’” –Nikita Gill

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Update:

I went out and picked up the Lost World novel.

Ian Malcolm was only, and I quote, "slightly dead"

Crichton straight up Princess Brides the reader first page of the prologue. I literally can't even right now

Which movie..

Took the LEAST amount of material from the source book as possible?

My first thought was Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, or Half-Blood Prince, since they cut most of the books out to fit it into their movie times..

I also thought of Eragon. They kept stuff, but the director’s vision just didn’t match the overall wonder of the original world.

Then, last night, I finished the Jurassic Park book. The movie kept the title and the names of the characters. That’s really it.

Not a single event in Lost World, Jurassic Park 3, Jurassic World, or Jurassic World 2 is canon. Not one.

For starters, Lex is supposed to be 8, and Timmy is 11, not the other way around.

Grant and Sattler are not only not together, but not even close in age.

Gennaro, the lawyer from the infamous toilet scene, not only tuens out to be one of the heroes but actually FUCKING SURVIVES THE ENTIRE ORDEAL.

Malcolm succumbed to his injuries from the T-sex and passed away, so Lost World’s events couldn’t happen the way the movie shows it.

Lex and Tim actually inadvertently and unknowingly send Hammond to his death. They were playing with the park’s PA system and played a recording of a T-Rex roar, which startles Hammond and send him down a hill, breaking his ankle and leaving him wounded enough for the Compys to kill.

Henry Wu, the geneticist behind everything, is tricked by a Raptor trap and eaten alive in the exact same way that Grant scares the little kid with in the opening, and thus could not be there in World 2.

And then, THEN……the Coup de Grace.

As they fly away from the island, the military bombs the ever loving shit out of the island, killing every single dino and making sure that this island DOES NOT have any remaining traces of Jurassic activity.

And we’re left with a cliffhanger: animals had gotten off the island, a search for them is Damn near impossible because of the topography of Costa Rica, and Dr. Grant isn’t allowed to leave.

[fakemuggle529-blog]

Which movie..

Took the LEAST amount of material from the source book as possible?

My first thought was Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, or Half-Blood Prince, since they cut most of the books out to fit it into their movie times..

I also thought of Eragon. They kept stuff, but the director's vision just didn't match the overall wonder of the original world.

Then, last night, I finished the Jurassic Park book. The movie kept the title and the names of the characters. That's really it.

Not a single event in Lost World, Jurassic Park 3, Jurassic World, or Jurassic World 2 is canon. Not one.

For starters, Lex is supposed to be 8, and Timmy is 11, not the other way around.

Grant and Sattler are not only not together, but not even close in age.

Gennaro, the lawyer from the infamous toilet scene, not only tuens out to be one of the heroes but actually FUCKING SURVIVES THE ENTIRE ORDEAL.

Malcolm succumbed to his injuries from the T-sex and passed away, so Lost World's events couldn't happen the way the movie shows it.

Lex and Tim actually inadvertently and unknowingly send Hammond to his death. They were playing with the park's PA system and played a recording of a T-Rex roar, which startles Hammond and send him down a hill, breaking his ankle and leaving him wounded enough for the Compys to kill.

Henry Wu, the geneticist behind everything, is tricked by a Raptor trap and eaten alive in the exact same way that Grant scares the little kid with in the opening, and thus could not be there in World 2.

And then, THEN......the Coup de Grace.

As they fly away from the island, the military bombs the ever loving shit out of the island, killing every single dino and making sure that this island DOES NOT have any remaining traces of Jurassic activity.

And we're left with a cliffhanger: animals had gotten off the island, a search for them is Damn near impossible because of the topography of Costa Rica, and Dr. Grant isn't allowed to leave.