fishcheeks - Tumblr blog

[fishcheeks]

repeat after me:

even if i don’t like my body today i will take care of it

even if i don’t like myself today i will still be patient and kind with myself

even if i do not love myself i will still take care of and be kind to myself, despite not wanting to

[fishcheeks]

One of those days

Today is one of those days that I feel this subtle tinge...of sadness.

Whenever I feel this, I know the days of deep sadness will come, because as early as now my usual routines get cut out and I have no motivation at all.

Tough times this pandemic forces us to sit with ourselves and think.

So many depressing news updates, and my country’s government aint improving at all. 

There is no hope in sight...yet im currently working on my new path. 

It is unfortunate, that when I chose to be honest with what I want to do..it happened during a difficult time. A time when all of us are looking for that extra motivation and willpower to keep us going.

This will be all over soon. We will be able to weather this out, stand strong.

Do not be harsh on yourself and live one day at a time.

[fishcheeks]

it’s good to treat yourself well and do self care activities, but remember that your inner monologue and the way you speak to yourself is maybe the most important form of self care. whenever you’re crying or feeling really upset, imagine having a friend or comforting figure in your head. someone who makes you feel that’s it’s totally okay to feel this way, while also helping you with getting up again.

you can also write down everything in a journal or notes app, and then reply to yourself as if you were your own comforting person. or vent to a plush toy and imagine the comforting things they would say. let yourself feel the things you’d normally feel, but catch yourself out in a gentle but reaffirming way. it takes a lot of time to believe it and make it your normal way of thinking, but you will start caring for yourself on the deepest level it will be worth it.

[fishcheeks]

Ever since I was young, I yearned for a peaceful life when I grow older. Not because I watched a Hello Kitty episode in the alps (well 40% yes), but because I know how stressful it is to live in the city (noise, pollution, etc).

Now that Im in my 20's working through the path I chose, I still want a peaceful life in a country side than live a glamorous life in a city.I've always prioritized the value of peace of mind and simplistic living.

I hope I achieve my goals and be able to fulfill this dream of mine in the future.

[fishcheeks]

mas nafta

more on my instagram @matialonsor

[fishcheeks]

"Let go of things you cant control"

This is one of the most cliche advice that I received, which I didnt really agree to at first. I wanted control over whats happening in my life because the predictability of it is what makes me feel safe.

As the years went by and I started being an adult, a lot of things happened in my life. More than I have ever experienced previously.

Going through this new experiences made me feel vulnerable and afraid because it was unpredictable. I couldnt control it, and the more I control it..the more I become stressed .

Then someone I knew, told me to just let it go. Some things happen in our life that is out of our control and when it does happen normally we are not prepared for it.

Adapt. Overcome. these became my mindset now that im in my Quarter Life years. We learn more as we experience more. We understand what we really want when we face more challenges in life.

If you want to change your path or your goals do it.

If an unexpected challenged blocks your way find another way.

What we can only control is how we face these unexpected events life throws at us.

We got this.

[fishcheeks]

Lighter

Like many other girls, ladies, women out there, I also do compare myself to the well-known standards of beauty. This happens a lot in my mind, and I even do this with my boyfriend’ex or past flings.

What I realized is that I hurt myself more, it triggers me to overthink of negative scenarios in my mind. Which I think is sort of a defense mechanism for me if im unexpectedly left again. This is complete utter bullshit I know.

We are all unique individuals, we are all beautiful in our own way. 

I should always love me for me, so that even if someone does leave me I still have myself. We all have our past traumas but we need to work through it and know that our current relationship wont mirror the past.

I feel lighter being more kind to myself and loving myself more.

[fishcheeks]

Life's way too short and you are way too valuable to be waiting for people to give you permission to adore yourself. Once you snap out of the fear of being alone, you become invincible.

Chidera Eggerue, “What a Time to be Alone”

[fishcheeks]

Resting for a bit

My mental health really suffered last year. The massive amount of work stress has not only affected my mental health but also my physical health. Also took a toll in how I manage my relationships too.

Entering the new year, and seeing the massive changes about to come in the organization made me finally decide to quit for my mental health. Seeing how the leadership has morphed into corporate politics and being blind to the efforts of their hardworking people, made me realize a lot.

All corporations will replace you in a drop of a hat if you died out of overexertion. It is really our own responsibility to take care of ourselves first.

I do not regret my decision. I needed this time off to take care of me first.

This time for me is for me and my goals.

It is okay to take a break.

[fishcheeks]

Just remember that everything revolves around balance. It will never be perfect but it will always get better.

Chidera Eggerue “What a Time to be Alone”

[fishcheeks]

One of the truths Ive learned in the first half of my twenties, is to pay them no mind. Energy shouldnt be wasted in trying to get others approval on what you want to do in your life. This should be spent instead on your efforts in achieving your goals.

[fishcheeks]

Sometimes we all just need a time for ourselves.

[fishcheeks]

Back home to Tumblr

Tumblr kinda gives off the feeling of home to me.

Years back during a difficult time of my teenage life, Tumblr served as a place of security and hope.

Now, the real life adulting challenges are even greater.

Im just here to ramble and hopefully provide good insights to others experiencing the same.