#chidera eggerue

[mndvx]

[classycookiexo]

[poppletonink]

The Best Quotes From 'How To Get Over A Boy'

"Scrap being liked! I want to be loved. I want to be honoured. I want to be heard, felt, seen and held with pure intention and an awareness of my wonder."

"So trust in yourself, trust in your journey, and know that you will always meet what is meant for you. You will always find your way back to yourself, no matter how lost you become in the doubts others have fed you."

"When it comes to beauty, in one person’s eyes you might be deemed unattractive but in another’s eyes you are the breath of the universe."

"You are smarter than anything that attempts to discourage you from wanting more in your life."

"If you really think about it, the way we view ourselves is always through the lens of something or someone else."

"A relationship that only exists when you don’t speak up is a comfortable prison."

"In a colonised world where a woman’s beauty is conditional, the simplest way to start to exist beyond societal expectations of beauty is to understand that somewhere else in the world, your unique features are being celebrated right now."

"Choosing yourself might sound selfish, but you know what else is selfish? The world expecting you to bow down to its unrealistic demands"

"I know you think he’s different, but no matter how much of a unicorn you think he is, his wonder does not in any way compare to yours. And what’s more, it never will."

[higherentity]

[dreamy-conceit]

I think it's like a problem that straight women have, where they just like men more than they like their own progress.

— Chidera Eggerue aka The Slumflower (Spotify, March 22, 2024; TikTok, 8 July 2024)

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Booklist: Decentering Men, Feminist Dating, & Childfree Living

Books On Decentering Men/Feminist Perspectives On Dating (for the times you're in need, you know):

A Single Revolution by Shani Silver (most important rec, IMO!)

Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein, Ph.D

What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue 

How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue 

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Enjoy Your Solo By Mary Delia Allen

How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz

Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen 

We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives by Manon Garcia 

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling  Men by Lundy Bancroft 

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All by Laura Bates

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley  

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks

All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks

Books On Childfree Living:

Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood by Ruby Warrington

Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Amy Blackstone

Confessions of a Childfree Woman: A Life Spent Swimming Against the Mainstream by Marcia Drut-Davis 

Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath

No One Tells You This: A Memoir by Glynnis MacNicol 

25 Over 10: A Childfree Longitudinal Study by Laura Caroll

The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World  by Laura Caroll

The Baby Trap by Ellen Peck

Policing the Womb: Invisible Women and the Criminalization of Motherhood by Michele Goodwin 

Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington 

[ncuts]

Ncuti and Chidera Eggerue 💖

[jadorevivi]

are there any books or songs that speak strongly to you? if so what are they? luv your blog tons btw xo

aww i love this question sm, thank you for asking it!! i love love love ur blog too 🎀💞💞

i loveee reading & listening to music so picking a few is hard but as of right now theres two books that come to mind!

i love man’s search for meaning by viktor e frankl bc it reminds me that even in my lowest moments God is still writing my story with so much love and purpose. it’s one of those books that wraps around your soul like a little angel hug and whispers that you’re stronger than your circumstances.

i also love alone by chidera eggerue!! I love this book bc it feels like sitting in front of a mirror that tells you the truth but in a way only a real friend or a nigerian auntie would it’s poetic loud beautiful and honest and it reminded me that being alone isn’t something to survive it’s something to celebrate it speaks to me because i’m learning how to be that girl for myself the one who loves herself loudly dresses like a painting and doesn’t beg to be chosen she already is.

anyways for songs i honestly listen to anything and everything bc music speaks to me, ive really been inlove with soft russian music lately for some reason 😭, and vintage french music too!! but one album ive been listening to ‘nonstop’ is scorpion by drake!

[moingay1cuonsach]

Điều gì xảy ra khi trao quyền xuất bản cho giới KOL?

Các ngôi sao truyền thông xã hội đang nổi lên là những thế lực mới trong ngành xuất bản. Điều này tác động không nhỏ tới giới làm sách. Theo Australian Financial Review, kể từ cuối những năm 2010, danh sách sách tác phẩm ăn khách đã tràn ngập những cuốn sách nổi lên nhờ những ngôi sao truyền thông xã hội (KOL) trong ngành xuất bản, từ What a Time to Be Alone của Chidera Eggerue đến Girlcrush của…

[meaningtalk]

"Choose yourself even when it hurts, choose yourself even when you're tired and even when you feel like giving up choose yourself"

- Chidera Eggerue from TedEx

[wellsayingnote]

Stop reminding yourself of how out of control you are of the world around you. Instead, getting over it reminds you of how in control you are of how you choose to interpret your experiences it. It also reminds you that change will only create one thing: more change. so, it's time to stop fearing it and started being open to it. the fear of change is what delays growth. sometimes, bad stuff needs to happen to us. in order for us to be equipped with one more nugget of wisdom which can end up being the most priceless thing you can discover by yourself Carry the mindset: No pain ever goes to waste if you let it teach you

-Chidera Eggerue : What a Time to be Alone-

[biglisbonnews]

The Slumflower on the price we’re all willing to pay in order to present perfection on social media The post The Slumflower on the price we’re all willing to pay in order to present perfection on social media appeared first on Screen Shot. https://screenshot-media.com/technology/social-media/the-slumflower-presenting-perfection-online/

[525897]

Scrap being liked. I want to be loved. I want to be honored. I want to be heard, felt, seen and held with pure intention and an awareness of my wonder.

Chidera Eggerue

[poppletonink]

Cher Horowitz Reads

Emma by Jane Austen

Cher's Guide To... Whatever by H.B. Gilmour

Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

Better Than The Movies by Lynn Painter

What A Time To Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue

Valley Of The Dolls by Jacqueline Susann

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

Fashionopolis by Dana Thomas

I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding

Overdressed by Elizabeth L. Cline

Paradise Kiss by Ai Yazawa

[hobbitinthelibrary]

Happy International Women's Day to Chidera Eggerue (@theslumflower). This woman is a world treasure. Go learn from her. Buy her books.

Her IG.

[femmefatalevibe]

What advice/resources would you recommend for someone who is trying to decentralize her life from men (or really anybody other than herself)?

Any books/videos/advice/etc. that you have would be great!

Thanks! Your blog helps me so much xo

Hi love! I'm so glad to hear this <3. Sharing some tips/resources below. Hope this helps xx

How To Decenter Men In Your Life:

Consider the values, goals, and desired lifestyle that feel most authentic to you if social scripts/stigmas didn't apply to you

Take time to become radically honest with your desires as an individual – outside of the perception of men, your family, boss, teachers, peers, etc.

Cultivate a sense of personhood and identity established in your interests, hobbies, skillsets, learning capabilities, creativity, and desire for growth in all aspects of life

Act in your own best interests. Speak up for your needs, and advocate for yourself. Be more "selfish." Don't apologize for what you want and go after it. Act in your own best interests

Become confident in negotiating, assertive communication, and standing on your own two feet. Establish relationships in all aspects that are based on mutual benefit and equitable exchange

Unlearn your self-sacrificing & people-pleasing. Stop shrinking yourself or suppressing your needs to make others feel better or more comfortable

Validate yourself: your needs, desires, goals, dreams, preferences, and opinions. You need to choose yourself every day. Your appeal to others means nothing if you don't like the person you are or are becoming to satisfy the needs or desires of others

Consider the ways you're consciously and subconsciously confining your self-expression and belief system to fit the mold/appease the patriarchy. Actively work to deconstruct this mentality and way of being

Be honest with yourself about how men enrich your life. Not the other way around. Do they fulfill you romantically, sexually, both, or neither? There's no right or wrong answer, except the one that requires you to put on a performance rather than live in alignment with your true self

TikTok Creators:

Melanie Hamlett (LOVE her! My favorite creator/author on this topic.)

Katie Jgin

Soberside

Rose Hackman

Hope Peddler

Therese Lee (@thereselee6)

SpirtualWhistleBlower

Books On Decentering Men:

A Single Revolution by Shani Silver

Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein, Ph.D

What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue 

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Enjoy Your Solo By Mary Delia Allen

How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz

Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen 

We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives by Manon Garcia 

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy 

Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling  Men by Lundy Bancroft 

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All by Laura Bates

Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley