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[fr3sh-tragedies]

Beautiful

[BATIM/BATDR] Alice Angel x Female Reader

Summary: Alice has a meltdown after catching a glimpse of her reflection, and you're there to comfort her.

Word Count: 2.09k Content Warnings: Mentions of insecurity Category: Slight Angst + Heavy Fluff || Oneshot

[A/N] #1: To make up for all the angst from last week, this one has heavy fluff instead. A very small amount of angst, but it's quickly resolved.

[A/N] #2: Thank you to everyone who sent in a request! I promise I'll try to get to them as soon as I can.

Enjoy!

Soft scribbling filled the silent space in the study, forming the words on Alice’s mind and printing them below the side of her palm against a thin sheet of paper. A small huff prompted by her exhaustion slipped past her tattered lips. As she finished writing out notes for her latest experiments, her free hand lifted far enough to rub at the one eye that still remained intact, which had fallen heavy with fatigue. Over the hours following the numerous tests she had carried out, Alice had shut herself in her study, curses spilling easily below her breath with each annotation of what had gone wrong.

It seemed as of lately that none of her experiments were going right. Even as she burdened herself with the task of figuring every detail out on her own, she still couldn’t understand what was causing the fault in her studies. Her mind had wandered here and there, the spark of want in her igniting the idea of asking you for help. Each time, however, she discarded the thought immediately. The stress was already taxing enough on her, and she didn’t want to share the weight of it all with the one person she cared about so deeply.

Because of her late nights in her study, Alice hardly ever had the time to be with you. The guilt ate away at her conscience constantly, but she knew that the moment she could understand the issues halting her progress, she’d be able to finally focus on you again. Even so, when she’d come to bed long after you had fallen asleep, she couldn’t prevent the pang of sorrow she felt, knowing you had likely stayed up late to wait for her.

Unfortunately, this only led to her spending more time away from you and trying to perfect her theories in her lab. In her mind, each Butcher Gang member that she had ripped apart and dissected was one step closer to being able to return her attention solely to you the way she craved. Every pulsating heart that writhed in her frigid hand was another markup in progress, and every piercing needle that let a concoction flow through the veins of one of the poor souls that had fallen prey to the Angel aided the approaching future of once again being by your side at every moment.

Another heavy sigh left her as she let her pencil fall back to the desk. Slowly, she leaned back into the chair to stretch with a yawn.

Surely a small break wouldn’t hurt. She knew you were in the kitchen preparing dinner, so it would do her good to at least wander out to give her mind a rest from the work piling up on her desk. You brought her peace, and at that moment, that was all she needed.

Granting herself another brief glance over her notes, she ultimately tucked them into a folder and slipped it into the lowest desk drawer, then finally rose to her feet. A small smile graced her lips as she made her way around the desk and toward the door. Her eye peered over at the rows of books lining her shelves, though her motions faltered and eventually stopped altogether when she caught a glimpse of herself in a small vanity mirror she had sworn she had covered.

Frozen in place, all she could do was stare through the reflection, grimacing at the ghastly sight of her torn mouth, gouged out eye, and the large mass erupting from the side of her skull. Instantly, tears welled up in her eye as wave after wave of insecurity crashed over her. Hours seemed to have passed, and she soon found herself curled up on the sofa with her knees tucked into her chest. She couldn’t recall moving there, though it wasn’t a pressing concern in her mind.

Trembling hands lifted from clutching at her shins to cradle her face as she unwillingly wept. Soon, her palms were coated with salty tears that began to trickle down her wrists and drip against her lap. Past the sound of her heart hammering against her ribs, she managed to make out the sound of footsteps nearing the door.

You strode toward Alice’s study, intending to let her know that dinner was almost ready and to make sure she was okay. As you grew closer, however, you could hear quiet sobs behind the door, instantly prompting your nerves to spike. You quickened your pace and gently knocked on the door to gain her attention. “Alice?” You uttered shakily. “Is everything alright? May I come in?” Before she had the chance to answer, you had already reached for the handle and twisted it, a soft push letting you enter and reveal the room. You paid no mind to the mountains of paperwork resting on her desk and instead turned your attention to the whimpering woman wavering on the sofa.

Within a moment, you had sat down next to her and pulled her against your side, instantly rubbing her shoulder in a soothing manner. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” She sputtered out a few words, none of which were discernible. You shushed her and let the tips of your fingers stroke through her jet black locks, ignoring the ink that stained your hand. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Just breathe for me, alright?”

There was no reply, but you watched and felt as she tried her best to suck in a deep breath, only to hiccup and cough instead. She attempted again, finally managing to breathe in all the way, albeit very shakily.

Softly, you gave her words of encouragement as she steadied her ragged breathing, which finally evened out after some time. She let out a sniffle and wiped at her nose and eye, her head turning away to avert her gaze from yours. Almost hurt by the action, you let the pads of your thumb and index finger gently take hold of her chin and turn her back to face you. “Hey,” you whispered, your hand then sliding up to carefully caress her face. With each featherlike stroke of your thumb against her cheek, her tensed form seemed to ease up more.

“Did something happen? Why were you crying, love?” Another grimace painted her lips as she glanced down with a worn out sigh. “Well, I…” She paused, seemingly unable to form the words. Your free hand softly clasped hers and gave a reassuring squeeze. The motion alone helped her visibly loosen up. “I was leaving the room to go see you and take a break, but I caught my–” She hiccuped as another round of tears began to form. “I caught my reflection,” she squeaked out as she shuffled back to hide her face once more.

Heart now aching, you frowned and peeked up at the shelf carrying the small mirror. She had been doing so well with her confidence. Her self-image seemed to be steady, and she had managed to check her complexion here and there without much issue. Seeing her in that moment, however, brought the entirety of the concern you had long forgotten rushing back.

“Alice, hun, you know you’re still beautiful.” She scoffed. “It’s easy to say that when you aren’t the one who has to live with half of her face torn apart,” she sneered loudly with a sense of venom beneath each syllable, finally able to bite back her hiccups and coughs. Even as she retorted with such fury, the regret instantly made itself known in her features. She shrunk further into herself.

This wasn’t what she had wanted. Not only had she been neglecting your wants and needs over the months, but she had also begun to start petty arguments that resulted in her losing her patience with you for things that weren’t your fault. She knew they weren’t your fault, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself in the heat of the moment. “I’m sorry.” She stared down into her lap and covered her face again. “I’m so sorry, darling, I promise I’m not meaning to be so blunt with you. Things have just been horrendous lately, and seeing my reflection like that? It just… “

Her trembling body stilled when your warm hand returned to her shoulder. “I know,” you whispered. “I’m not mad. I understand why you’ve been so stressed, and I know you’re going to lash out until that stress is gone.”

You scooted closer to her and placed a small peck to her cheekbone. “I love you, hun. You don’t need to apologize, okay?” She whimpered at your words and nodded, turning her body enough to let her head fall against your shoulder. “I love you, too.”

You smiled at her and tugged her closer, your arms wrapping around her torso to let you rub soothingly at her back. With each small sniffle that slipped from her, it almost felt as though she was repeatedly moving closer, and you wondered if she kept thinking she could get as close to you as physically possible somehow. “But can I tell you something?” You questioned at length.

All she could do in response was nod. “Well, it’s actually a few things, but it’s all part of a bigger picture.” At that, she leaned back enough to stare at you in pure confusion. “Bigger picture?” She echoed. You nodded.

“It’s kind of like a list on why I think you should love who you see in the mirror.” Her face flustered and she instantly returned her face to the crook of your neck to hide it. “Oh.”

“Hm, where to start? There’s so many things I love about you.

“Your cute little nose, your small beauty mark on your cheek, the beauty of your eye, especially when it lights up when you get excited over something.

“I love the softness of your lips when you kiss me or press a kiss to my head or cheek. I love your strong jawline I can easily bury my face into if I want to get your attention. I adore your horns and halo I can toy with when we’re cuddling in bed, and your hair I can brush out, even though it stains the brush with ink sometimes.”

She scoffed and playfully shoved your shoulder, earning a laugh from you before you continued.

“I love the way your eye softens when we’re staying up late at night together to talk about whatever comes to mind, and the way your lips curl into a smile when I talk about something I’m passionate about. I love how your nose scrunches up when you laugh or when you find something gross while we’re gathering supplies, and I absolutely love your voice. It’s so comforting to hear you talk, and I always immediately crash the moment you start singing to me at night. I love everything about you, Alice.”

A moment passed, and all you could hear was soft sniffling combined with the feeling of warm tears dripping against your shoulder. The tips of her fingers dug into your shirt as she trembled almost unnoticeably. Just as you parted your lips to speak, she leaned back and wiped at her eye.

“What about…” She motioned toward that tattered features on the left side of her face. “This?”

You grinned at her and cupped both sides of her face. With a small tug, you leaned her closer to yourself and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. When the two of you pulled away, you found her staring at you expectantly. “Honestly?” You started, earning a nod.

“I think it makes you look badass.”

She snorted in surprise and chuckled, teasingly pushing you back as she ran a hand down her face. “You are such a dork,” she finally mumbled between giggles. You grinned back at her again and leaned forward, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. “Yeah, but I’m your dork. And you know I’m right about you being badass, too.”

Even as she rolled her eyes, she couldn’t bite back the smirk that crossed her lips. Her hands slid up from their place against her lap and grasped lightly at your hips before reaching back further to partially wrap her arms around you. “Okay, okay, darling,” she whispered before pressing another gentle kiss to your lips. As your words set in, she could feel her confidence slowly rebuild itself. It would still be a while before she could look at herself again, but she knew you’d always be there for her regardless. “You’re right.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Down the Barrel

[BATIM/BATDR] Alice Angel x Female Reader

Summary: Alice thinks you've betrayed her, assuming you gave away the location of her safehouse after she sees you talking to Allison and Tom. You have to save yourself from this misunderstanding.

Word Count: 4.24k Content Warnings: Toxic/abusive relationship, manipulation, syringes and injections, fear of abandonment, near-death experience, jealousy, manipulation, a "break up" between Reader and Alice Category: Heavy Angst || Oneshot

[A/N]: Alice and Reader have an extremely unhealthy relationship in this short story, but I am in no way trying to condone or romanticize it. There are multiple sensitive topics as listed above, so please look after yourself and avoid reading if you feel any of these are too heavy for you.

Enjoy!

 From close behind, merely inches away, you could hear the sound of Alice’s heels clicking against the warped planks beneath her. You had headed toward the vault door to head out for the day, but mistakenly forgot to let her know. Frigid fingers clasped themselves around your wrist and held you in place with a vice grip. A small tug backward was all it took for you to turn and face her. “Where do you think you’re going?” She pulled you closer, her hold on you never faltering, even as you stumbled forward from the motion. As she spoke, the one eye she still had intact narrowed, almost threatening you and daring you not to cower under her gaze.

Her tone was demeaning. Each time you tried to pull your arm from her clutch, her nails only dug deeper into your skin. With a harsh swallow, you managed to stammer out an answer. “I’m sorry, Alice. I meant to tell you, I just forgot. I was going to head down to a few of the lower levels to find a few supplies to help with your experiments.”

For a long, painful moment, she seemed to only drag out the thick tension, as though wanting you to feel the crushing consequence of blatantly ignoring the one rule she had set in place. After so long, you had managed to tear her walls down and get her to trust you, though there were still demands to be met. One of which she was more stubborn about than others. Each time you planned to leave the hidden corner of her sanctuary, you were to let her know ahead of time. If you forgot to do so, and if she wasn’t told of your whereabouts until you returned, the punishments could be ruthless.

You would be subjected to a few of her smaller, yet equally as merciless, experiments. They ranged from small tests of the weight her pulley-based traps could hold, all the way to enduring endless injections of different deadly concoctions she had developed over time, most of which would leave you bedridden for days or even weeks.

Those punishments were far worse. No matter what she kept in the syringe, the fiery jolt of pain that bursted through each vein throughout your body always seemed to be worse than the last. So little of her supplies could ease the throbbing pain that continued to torment you for weeks. Thankfully, she had eased up on carrying those punishments out as time went on. In her own twisted, demented way, she began to care for you, growing attached and increasingly fearful of losing you. Although it brought her sadistic joy to see you writhing from her tools and trials, she couldn’t bear the idea of bringing you to death’s door.

You were everything to her.

All she had left in the vile, rotten world that built the studio was you.

You weren’t spared from her tests, nor were you given a sense of freedom, but you were granted a promise she had made to keep you safe.

Even if you couldn’t avoid her line of fire when directed toward you, she made sure you were sheltered from the countless grueling abominations crawling just outside the door. Everyone beneath the domain of the crumbling studio feared two beings above everything else: the Ink Demon, and Alice Angel herself. You knew that those who were aware you were under her watch would drift apart in your favor. They’d give you room and split ways just to grant you a false sense of superiority that you knew was only caused by the fear they felt for the very woman who took you in.

Each time, even as you stood silent in front of her then, you wondered how differently your path would’ve been shaped if you had accepted the offer Allison and Tom had given you years ago to stay with them instead. With every experiment Alice put you through, you regretted turning them down more and more.

To pull you from your trance, Alice whisked your arm away and finally let go of your wrist, which had already begun to bruise. Eager to find relief, you pulled your hand to your chest to shield it as your fingers massaged the red skin. “Good,” was all she could bother to say. Still, she stood there, glaring at you expectantly. Your words seemed to bubble up in your chest and throat, though it was hard to free them.

“I should be back in two hours,” you managed to whisper weakly in the end.

The non-tattered portion of her lips tugged upward, mimicking a ghost of a smile. With her eyes still trained warily on you, she lifted her arms to cross them atop her chest. “You’d better keep true to your word,” she murmured with venom laced in her tone. As though she couldn’t be bothered to contribute to the stalemate any longer, she turned swiftly on her heel and traversed her way down the hall to return to her study, finally leaving you to your task.

Using the hand that hadn’t been throttled mere moments before, you turned the valve wheel as best you could to allow you to shove the bulky door open.

Once the steel was locked back in place behind you, your trembling legs hardly allowed you to weakly wobble forward. As you progressed to the elevator and stepped inside, some part of you screamed to run and leave Alice for good. If you weren’t so afraid of your only means of defense being stripped away, you would have left her long ago and joined Allison and Tom in their own safe house. They knew something was going on behind closed doors, but you always defended Alice without knowing why. You didn’t deserve her treatment. You knew that, and yet you stayed, but you couldn’t understand what prevented you from leaving.

You didn’t love her, and she didn’t seem to love you.

But some part of you knew what the reason likely was.

If you left, not only would people come after you, but Alice herself would hunt you like a bloodhound and take you out herself. She would probably drag you back to her sanctuary and return to the way things were when you had first been captured. There would be no restraint in her actions when she returned to experimenting on you, and you weren’t sure how many more injections you could take.

The only two people who were willing to save and protect you would also be thrown under attack, and the last thing you wanted to do was burden them with another threat. As far as you could tell, there was no way out.

The first two levels below Level 9 had nothing to offer. It seemed like someone had scavenged for supplies long before you, and you felt like you knew who it was. As you reached a floor even deeper than before, you recognized a small toolkit propped up against the only wall that hadn’t been soaked and molded with ink. Only one Angel, one who truly seemed to be a gift from heaven, carried such a particular set of tools, and waves of relief and ease crashed over your tensed form.

You meandered forward upon hearing distant murmuring combined with tin cans clanking together. As you sauntered further and neared the two shadows visible from a small office, you couldn’t help but glance over at a nearby clock, the swinging motion of the legs and arms catching your eye. Blood running cold, you realized you had been out far later than you had promised Alice you would be. Things were going to be even worse than when you had left once you returned.

But Allison and Tom were right there… you didn’t have to return.

They’d keep you safe.

With a quick breath to give yourself courage, you stepped into the office and greeted them. They turned, surprised, and smiled warmly.

A displeased grimace painted Alice’s lips as she stepped out of her study. She slammed the door behind her and charged her way to the door you had slipped through over three and a half hours before. You promised you’d be back in two hours. Where the hell had you gone?

Quickly, before leaving the hidden portion of her safe house, her clenched fist opened just long enough to snatch her tommy gun from its stand against the wall. As she muttered curse after curse under her breath, she strode to the elevator leading out of Level 9 and clicked down.With every floor that she searched, her fury and panic grew. No matter how far down she traveled, it seemed you weren’t anywhere to be found.

You betrayed her.

Lied to her.

You had to have planned something. You wouldn’t just leave her like that, would you?

Her scowl grew, and soon, she had reached one of the deepest parts of the studio. Cautiously, she forced herself to step out of the lift. Her hands clutched violently at her weapon to steady themselves as her surroundings seemed to fall further into unfamiliarity.

The halls grew longer until it seemed as though there was no end in sight. Shadows danced around the rotting ground as she pushed forward, the flickering lights soon dimming and falling as black as the ink that seeped into each wall, no life left to offer. Each step caused the floorboards to creak and wail beneath her weight, prompting a part of her mind to warn her of the possibility that the floor might give way at any moment. Breathing ragged and sharp, she eventually found the end of the hall she had been creeping down and turned to the right.

Down the adjacent corridor, a blazing glow sparked to life, providing negative space for the silhouettes of three shifting figures. With piqued curiosity, Alice couldn’t help but give in to her interest in who would dare to travel so far down to the hellish depths even the Demon himself avoided. She carried toward the source of light, body hugging the wall as she made her best effort to silence her footsteps.

With every shuffle closer, she could make out the sounds of two voices, both feminine, though no matter how hard she strained her hearing, she couldn’t make out any words. By the time she was only a few steps from the doorway, she could finally recognize the different voices. Both realizations made her blood boil beneath her skin.

You were there, speaking so casually with Allison, meaning the only other person who could be in the room as well was Tom. She could feel herself begin to seethe. Her jaw clenched as she struggled to ignore every burning nerve in her body that screamed for her to enter the office. Even without seeing you and the two people she despised the most, she could hear how relaxed the conversation seemed to be. Far too blinded by rage, she failed to listen to what was being said, only able to come up with her own dialogue.

Before anyone could take notice of her presence, she slipped away from the room and stormed back to the lift, now uncaring of the haunted surroundings in her path.

She hadn’t paid attention to where she was going. By the time she focused back in on her actions, she found herself standing stiff just before the entrance to her sanctuary. She glanced down at her hands, both trembling and desperately gripping at the grip and handguard. Behind her ribs, her heartbeat grew rapid and uneven, hammering harshly against them and causing her gasps for breath to stutter.

How could you leave her like that? Were you going to leave her for Allison? The copycat who stole everything from her?

She wouldn’t let you–couldn’t let you. You were all she had, and she was all you had. She needed you, you needed her, she loved you, you loved her, did you not?

What could she do to make you stay? Was there anything she could even do at that point? You had deceived her, made her believe you were coming back when you weren’t. That had to have been your plan: to make everything seem natural until you could get away and run to the safety of Allison and Tom. She knew they’d take you away from her in a heartbeat if you so much as asked.

She was going to lose you, she was sure. Lose the only bit of light she still had down in the world of hell she had lived alone in for so long.

Surely there was a way for her to convince you she was worth staying with.

She knew she was worthy, she just wasn’t sure how to prove it to you.

You had only been there for a short amount of time in comparison to the other poor souls trapped and sequestered from the world. You had no way of knowing the full extent of what she was capable of, nor what she was willing to do to get what she wanted. At that moment, you were all she wanted–all she needed.

You weren’t going to leave her.

She made sure of that as she heard footsteps approaching behind her. One glance over her shoulder confirmed it was you. Without hesitation, she hid herself behind the wall adjoining the hall you were headed down. As you emerged into the opening, an inky arm erupted from your side and blocked you for a brief moment. Just as quickly, the hand obstructing your path seized the collar of your shirt and yanked you forward.

The owner of the force revealed themself, and Alice–just like she had done before you left–stood before you, her face mere inches from your own. The vice grip against your blouse didn’t falter as she made the motion to shake you back and forth for an instant. When you swayed back the first time, she lifted her opposite arm and shoved her weapon toward your head.

Swallowing hard, you could only stare down the barrel of her gun as you tried to make sense of what was happening. Her piercing gaze met your fearful eyes once you managed to tear your focus away from what threatened your life.

“You vile, unforgivable wretch,” she growled. “How dare you? First, you deceive me, telling me you’ll return. Then, when I finally find you long after when you had promised to come back to me, I find you practically fawning over that damned copycat you’re always so cordial with. Heaven only knows why I ever allowed you to speak to them. They’re trying to steal yet another belonging of mine, just as they’ve done time and time again in the past.

“I won’t allow it this time. I’ll hide you away so they can’t find you and take you away from me. Somewhere they don’t know of, especially after you gave away where we’ve both been hiding past my sanctuary. I bet you want them to swoop in and save you from everything, don’t you? Is that why you told them where the safe house is? Oh, I’m sure you begged for that woman, Allison, to take you home with her and that disgusting clone that follows her like a lost puppy. Isn’t that right, you conniving little devil?”

For so long, even after she had finished voicing her list of accusations, you simply stared, entirely limp in her grasp. War raged on in your mind, begging you to say something, anything. Anything at all.

The feeling of the gun’s barrel thrusting forward to dig in against the space between your eyes finally coerced your mouth to form words again. “Alice,” you stammered out, “I never told them where we’re hiding, I promise. I was only catching up and asking where I could find the stuff you need for your tests.”

A snarl was your response at first, though she was quick to bark a retort. “You aren’t going to fool me again, you damned traitor. All you’ve done today is feed me lie after lie, and I refuse to let it continue. Why should I believe you now, knowing it could be yet another story you’re creating just to save your skin?” Once again, you tried to find a way to reason with her, desperately aching for her to let you go and pull the gun from your head. “Alice, I’m sorry. I really thought it would only take a couple of hours to find supplies, but Allison and Tom had already gathered them from the first levels downstairs, so I had to go further down to find things. That’s where I found them, and I was asking if they had anything to spare.

“If I had really told them where we were hiding, wouldn’t I have just brought them here with me? It’s easy to get lost in the studio. Just giving directions wouldn’t do anything. It’s like a maze trying to get to our safety zone. Even with their experience, I doubt they’d be able to find it without being noticed.”

Much to your relief, each point you had to offer compelled her to loosen her grip until ultimately you fell to the floor. She stared down at you, face devoid of any emotion as she processed all that you had said. You mustered up the strength to rise from the ground and stand on wobbly legs. It took everything in you to meet her eye as you did so, trying your best to fein a look of concern.

“You don’t really think I’d betray you, do you?”

She simply stood there in silence, her one good eye boring down blankly at you.

“Let’s go,” she grumbled, her gun falling to her side and her free hand slipping into yours to tug you along behind her.

She turned, then began the long journey back to the safe house. A thick, heavy tension hung in the air between the both of you. The silence was deafening, and even as you hopelessly tried to think of what to say to ease into some kind of conversation, not a word was uttered by the time you had made it to the vault door. Alice turned the valve wheel and forced the door open, letting you step inside before her so she could shut and lock it behind her.

You turned to her, watched as she dropped her gun on the table seated in the center of the foyer, then silently trailed behind her as she walked to your shared bedroom. When you stepped forward to cross the doorway and join her in the room, she practically slammed the door in your face, making you stumble backward in shock.

“Alice?” You questioned with a small knock on the sturdy wooden surface.

“Leave me be,” was all you could hear.

Huffing out a sigh and letting your shoulders slump in defeat, you trudged away from the room and instead wandered into the office across the hall to rest on the sofa pressed against the mirroring wall.

Hours had passed by the time you found yourself once again standing just outside the bedroom. You knocked, but got no response. As your lips parted to let you speak, Alice’s voice interrupted. “Come in.” In an attempt to steel your spiked nerves, you sucked in a deep breath.

Hand trembling, you grasped at the handle of the door, twisting it and slowly pushing forward to reveal more and more of the bedroom, waiting for her to holler at you that she had changed her mind and wanted you gone.

Seated slouched over on the edge of the bed, Alice merely glanced over at you before her head dipped down to hide the shameful expression that contorted her face. Slowly, too afraid to make a wrong move and upset her, you shuffled to sit by her side. Still, she refused to meet your gaze. One moment passed, then two, and soon you had begun to bounce your leg and pick relentlessly at the hem of your shirt.

A frigid hand planted itself softly against your leg to still it. You peered up to find Alice finally looking back at you. Eventually, you sighed, letting your hand rest on top of hers. “Could I ask you something?” You asked faintly. A nod was your response.

“Do you truly believe I would ever betray you?”

She chuckled. “Honestly? With all I’ve put you through, I wouldn’t blame you. I’d hate you for it, but I know I’d do the same. I talk so much of keeping you safe, but I’ve put you through so much hell. All the experiments I’ve forced on you, all the punishments I’ve given you because you simply did as you pleased, every time I’ve put you down or hurt you… You don’t deserve any of it, and I truly am sorry, but you have to understand my side of this, too. You never fully know who you can trust down here, darling. You know I adore you, even though I have a horrible way of expressing it, but I’ve been living with this paranoia for so long. It’s hard to just ignore it. I hope you can find it in yourself to try and understand.

“On top of everything today, you were speaking to the two people down here who I tried to hunt down for years. Until recently, we had never been civil with one another. You changed that, but I know they still don’t enjoy my company. They don’t hide it well at all. I can’t say I blame them for that either.”

You felt a small spark of frustration grow at her words, blurting out what flooded your mind before you could stop yourself. “Alice, I know you’ve been through hell down here, too, but that gives you no right to torture me the way you do. You’re right: I don’t deserve any of the experiments you put me through, and I sure as hell don’t deserve the punishments that I get for being myself. And the shittiest part of all of this is that, even though you’re a horrible person, I still can’t bring myself to leave.” You laughed, tears welling up and blurring your vision, unable to bite back the feelings you had kept bottled up for so long.

“That’s so fucked up, isn’t it? That after how much shit you put me through, I still want you to like me. Some part of me believes you’d stop hurting me if I just bend over backwards to make you happy, that if I walk on eggshells long enough, you’ll see me as a human being. As a person–as an individual. Someone you can’t toy with and boss around. God, I hate this. I hate you, but the stupidest part of me loves you.

“I don’t want to feel this anymore. I want to be happy, and I know I sure as hell won’t feel that way if I stay here with you. I have to leave, whether you like it or not.” You stood then, ready for her to bolt up and scream at you that you needed to remember your place around her. Instead, she laughed, a deep bellow that slowly quieted down. Once more, she stared down at the floor beneath her. “I know. I saw this coming. You should probably leave now. The reality of this hasn’t kicked in for me yet, but once it does, I know I’ll only hurt you. Leave me, break me, and go live with Allison and Tom.”

You scoffed. There was no possible way she was still trying to guilt-trip you, was there? But you knew her better. She was absolutely trying to do so.

You weren’t going to fall for it any longer.

You stepped closer, leaning down to let your face rest dangerously close to her own.

“Rot in hell,” you snarled, matching the same tone she had always used when speaking down to you as though you were a mindless child.

Alice grinned and watched as you fled from the room in an instant. She sighed heavily. Already, the fury and possessiveness she had grown accustomed to began to bubble its way to the surface. Her blood lit ablaze throughout her veins, only being stifled by her nails digging painfully into her thigh and drawing blood.

In truth, she genuinely had seen this coming. All throughout the time you had shared, she knew what she was doing to you was horrendous, and she knew you’d find the courage to leave one day. There would always be a part of her that wanted to keep you chained by her side and selfishly save you for herself, but she had to disregard it for you.

As vile as what she had done, she loved you. Yet, just as she had done all her life, she had pushed the very thing keeping her alive away.

You were leaving, and this time you wouldn’t return.

She deserved to rot in hell, as you had put it.

You deserved to join others who would treat you the way you truly deserved.

You were leaving.

She would be alone all over again.

You were never coming home.

Far away, down the hall and past each room, the front door slammed shut.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Reborn

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader

Summary: You're rebirthed from the Ink Machine, wandering around trying to find shelter. You stumble across Allison and Tom, who take you in and offer some advice.

Word Count: 5.01k Content Warnings: Mentions of fear, memory loss, very small mention of blood, minor injuries Category: Angst + Fluffy Ending || Oneshot

[A/N]: I'm trying to write multiple stories at once before uploading, that way I can schedule them to post over several weeks. Please excuse the random gaps in posting.

Enjoy!

 Every muscle and joint in your body ached as you trudged forward. Headaches had become the only constant at this point, as well as the nearly consistent rumbling of your stomach. With every step forward, each nerve in your body was set ablaze. You had no idea how you ended up in this strange place. All you knew for certain was that you were terrified, lost, and starving. It had been nearly two weeks now, and you had only barely managed to survive off of random scraps of food you had found in trash cans, crates, and on dusted shelves.

The last thing you could remember before you found yourself wandering the seemingly endless hallways was being thrown out of a large pipe from a machine. You had been covered head to toe in thick ink, and you had to be careful not to breathe too much until you could wipe it off, otherwise you’d have found yourself suffocating on the thick substance.

Once you had managed to get the majority of the ink drained off your body, it took hours to find the strength to stand and leave the room. You noticed almost immediately that you were alone. Wherever you were, there was no sign of finding help anytime soon. The very few “people” you did come across either tried to kill you, or were simply unable to speak at all. After several escapes from death, trying to escape terrifying creatures and a large demonic beast, you realized you would have to fend for yourself. Hours passed, then days, and it rapidly shifted to weeks. During that time, it was growing increasingly more difficult to get around. The lack of food and proper sleep left you weak and unable to think things through.

By the time you found a decent supply of food, your legs gave out beneath you. You collapsed to the ground, yelping at the warped planks clashing against your knees and shins. The cracked wood forced splinters into your skin. Small droplets of blood speckled the ground beneath you as you tried to stand again, ultimately failing. Pathetically, you crawled forward to the crate, prying it open and picking out the can that had the least amount of scratches and dents. You slid your makeshift shiv from your pocket, which you had originally made to defend yourself a day or two after arriving there, to lift the lid.

As the thin sheet of metal was cracked open, the shiv broke, prompting you to panic and curse under your breath. That was all you had to arm yourself against the vile things lurking around the corners, and now it had shattered while you tried to survive with the cans of soup you had been lucky enough to stumble across.

The sound of the makeshift knife snapping seemed to have been too loud. It echoed down the hall, reverberating throughout the pipes that dripped with the same ink you had been coated in weeks ago. All too soon, before you could even take a sip of the provisions you had found, a loud heartbeat was heard, increasing in volume as the source grew closer.

Fear shot through your body, veins running cold with fear. The adrenaline alone finally allowed you to stand again. Your head whipped around, eyes desperately scanning the room for a Miracle Station to hide in. There weren’t any nearby, causing even more panic. Thinking purely on instinct, you dove behind a large cart blocking a small gap in the wall. Too afraid to peek out at whatever was now only a few feet away, you could only strain your ears to listen past the sound of your racing heart. Your eyes shut tightly, tears springing free, and you clutched at your ink-stained shirt in an attempt to steady your trembling hands.

Low growling and ragged breathing were all you were able to hear. Just as it neared the crevice you were hidden away in, a loud scream rang out far in the distance. It sounded like you weren’t the only one being hunted down in this place. It just seemed like you had been lucky enough to get away each time, though you couldn’t say the same for them. This wail caught the attention of whatever was just on the other side of the wall, and soon it was running in the direction of the roaring cry. You waited for it to return, but it never did. You let out a sigh, which quickly turned to a choked sob.

You clasped your hands over your mouth in surprise, not wanting to attract anymore attention to yourself. Thinking back to everything you needed to do seemed to help, considering you were focusing more on survival than the fact you could be ripped to shreds at any given moment. Hesitantly, you shuffled out into the small room again and practically crawled back to the crate with the cans. You figured it would be a better idea to find a good hiding place to eat them in.

Since you had no idea what was nearby, you simply returned to the space you had crammed yourself into just mere moments before and slurped down two out of six of the cans in silence.

For now, for better or for worse, this was your life.

“Tom, could you give me a hand real quick?” Allison asked, motioning for the wolf to join her by a large shelf. He nodded, walked over to her, and helped her climb up just enough to reach the top shelf, allowing her to grab a flimsy box full of bacon soup cans. After standing properly again down on the ground, she counted how many there were. “We’ve got eight to add. What have you found so far?” Tom jutted his thumb in the direction of three boxes, much to Allison’s surprise. She walked over to count them, only to find that the majority of the cans were empty or entirely rotten.

She grimaced at the smell of the molded cans and turned to Tom. “How many of these are full? Can we even eat any of these?” A small shrug was her response. She sighed and nodded, then headed back over to the box she had just taken down, then added it to the other couple of crates and boxes she had gathered recently.

“Alright, I think we’ve got enough for now. That’s thirty-five cans, or more if those new boxes you found are all safe to eat.” Tom nodded and began to pick the few by him up, Allison doing the same. The two of them began to help each other head to their safe house. Just as they reached the hallway that led to the entrance, Tom froze in place, his ears perking up and toward a strange noise only he seemed to be able to hear.

Allison noticed almost immediately and turned to him, asking what was wrong. He placed his boxes down and stepped to the corner of the wall, peering out at the adjacent hall. “Tom?” He waved her over, and once she put her own items down and joined him, she was finally able to slightly hear what he could. Somewhere nearby, someone was weeping. It didn’t sound like the weeping of the Lost Ones that they had grown accustomed to–it sounded like a young woman. They could hear her slightly mumbling to herself, and they both realized that they didn’t recognize the voice.

Tom was the first to emerge from the corner. He slipped his axe from the band on his back and snuck toward the source of the noise. Allison followed closely behind, her hand hovering above the handle to her machete, and she listened as the sobbing grew louder. Finally, they came to stand right before the woman responsible for the sounds. Tom stood over you now, studying the way you huddled yourself behind a large table.

The moment you noticed him, you gasped and scrambled back, doing your best to hide away even further. “Please!” You wailed. “Please don’t kill me. I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone!”

Tom seemed to almost freeze at how you begged him for mercy, unsure of who you were and how to handle the situation. He crouched down to be eye level with you. His head cocked to the side as he studied over your features. He had never seen you around before, and you seemed to be panicking about every little motion he made. You had to have been new to the studio–that was the only thing that made sense to him.

You weren’t birthed into the studio as a Lost One or a Searcher. You resembled a human with more cartoonish features, your skin a shade of yellow, your hair made entirely of ink, your limbs and clothing coated in it as well. You were one of the lucky souls who managed to survive and keep some sort of humanity during the transition. However, it didn’t seem like you understood anything at all.

“Tom,” Allison whispered from nearby. He glanced over at her, finding her features to be riddled with confusion as to why he was crouching down in front of the crying woman. Wordlessly, he motioned for her to come over. She obliged immediately, her hand still ready to grab hold of her blade.

Upon seeing you, Allison grew curious. Who were you? Why were you here in the studio? Her eyes flickered over to Tom, who poked at your hair to show how you had been reborn from the Machine. Allison’s features softened as she watched how you flinched away from his touch, prompting him to quickly withdraw his mechanical arm. You kept your gaze on his axe, weary of what he planned to do.

“Tom,” Allison murmured again, jutting her chin toward his weapon. “I think it’s scaring her. Maybe you could put it away? I think she’s telling the truth.” He shook his head and tightened his grip on the handle of the axe. The Angel sighed and stepped closer to him, pulling her machete from its sheath and placing it down nearby to hopefully put you more at ease. “Well, if you aren’t going to, could you give her some space? I don’t think we should be crowding her.”

Reluctantly, Tom backed away and watched from a few feet behind. Allison smiled at him, turned back to you, then crouched down similarly to how the wolf had done a moment prior. She held out her hand for you to take. As she spoke, she kept her tone soft and welcoming.

“Do you need any help? You look like you’ve been through so much.”

You stayed silent, eyes glancing between her and her open palm. She waited a moment before speaking again.

“You don’t need to worry. I’m not going to hurt you, alright? My name is Allison, and this,” she motioned over toward the wolf still watching closely, “is Tom. We’re like you: people who ended up being reborn into this studio.” Her head tilted to the side as she did her best to search your skin for any injuries. “Do you have a name?”

At this question, you seemed to pause. Your eyes stared down at the ground, hands coming up to clutch at your shirt and hair as your breathing grew uneven. Allison panicked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you, I’m–” “I don’t know my name,” you blurted, voice shaking and cracking. “I-I don’t remember my name. I don’t… I don’t remember who I am! Why am I here? What is this place? Why is everyone here trying to kill me or hunt me down?”

As your endless questioning continued, Allison glanced back at Tom with worry. How long had you been down here alone?

She quickly switched the topic. “Hey, hey, forget about that for just a moment. Your memory might come back to you eventually. What’s the first thing you can remember?” The gears in your mind began to turn as you reflected back on all that had happened in the past few weeks. “I don’t,” you stammered, swallowing hard. “I don’t know. I think I dropped out of some kind of…tube? Or maybe a pipe? A-All I can remember is there was some kind of machine when I woke up, and I was completely covered in ink. But why can’t I remember who I was before, or how I ended up in this place?”

A look of pitiful sympathy was now painting Allison’s face. She could remember how scared she had been years ago when she was in your shoes, especially after she realized she no longer had her memories from when she was still human. One of the most aggravating things to her all those years ago was not having any idea of who she used to be, and it was incredibly painful to see someone else suffering from the same fate.

“I’ve been looking for food and shelter for weeks now,” you continued. “All I’ve managed to find is six cans of some kind of soup. I can’t find anywhere that’s safe, though. I keep getting tracked down by this weird… demon.” Tom growled at the words, and Allison had to hold her arm out to stop him from stepping any further than he already had. He felt sympathetic for your situation, sure. Allison had been in the same spot years ago. But the Ink Demon had your scent, and you admitted that he was actively hunting you down. He couldn’t put himself and the Angel in danger just because you weren’t able to fend for yourself.

Allison nodded at your words. “Yeah, the food supply down here is running out. The scarce amount that Tom and I can find are never quite enough to even last us a month. You said you found a few cans on your own?” You hesitantly nodded back. “That’s good. That means there’s still supplies to gather. Did you eat any of it? We could give you a bit if you didn’t.” Tom grew aggravated at this, and Allison sent him a look of warning in response. “Tom, we may not have much, but we have plenty to offer one person a meal.”

Shortly after their small staredown, the Angel turned to face you once more. She gently took hold of your right hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “I know how you feel right now. Believe me, I do. I was in your exact same position several years ago after I was reborn. Even to this day, I have no memory of my past life, but things get better with time. It’s scary, I know, and you have every right to feel scared. I just want you to know that there are still people down here who will always be willing to help you with whatever you need. Tom and I are two of them, whether Tom wants to admit that or not.

“You’ll be okay, darling. Everything will be okay eventually, I promise.” You could only stare at her for a moment, no longer used to someone treating you with kindness. Everyone else you had met up until that point attacked you or pretended you didn’t exist. You weren’t sure how to react.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You finally managed to ask. Allison smiled warmly and squeezed your hand again. “Well, like I said, I’ve been in your shoes. And even though it was so long ago, I can still remember so clearly how badly I wanted someone to help me out. I was alone for so long, and it made things…complicated. I don’t want that for you. I want to be the helping hand for you that I needed once I was reborn.”

Her selflessness left you speechless. She seemed so well put together, even after confessing that she once was just like you were now. And yet, there you were: trembling, weak, and terrified of the new world around you. You hoped she was right and that you’d one day be able to find some sort of the confidence she seemed to have.

“Would you want to stay with us until you can get back on your feet? Tom and I can show you the ropes around here so you can learn to survive on your own.” You finally looked back up at the wolf, expecting to see him still ready to swing at you any moment. He seemed far calmer, however, and even showed some sort of compassion with how he stared at you.

In truth, he still didn’t entirely trust you. You were still a newcomer here, and he tended to be cold to them. There were very few that he trusted immediately, and even though you weren’t necessarily one of them, he still found himself at ease. You weren’t a threat, that much was obvious. You were too fearful of others to try and attack. On top of that, after hearing you and Allison speak, he understood why she was already so welcoming.

Tom had been the first one to greet Allison after she resurfaced from the inky womb of the Machine. They quickly grew to trust each other, and he could still recall how much livelier the Angel grew when she accepted that she was no longer alone in the world. He adored that look on her face then, albeit it was because of their past that she didn’t remember, and he found that he would feel better about himself to grant that solace to someone else as well.

Peace hardly ever came to the people down in the studio. Who was he to deny granting it to someone who needed it most?

With a huff, he nodded at you, Your mouth fell agape in surprise at how quickly they both were willing to accept you into their home. Your attention turned back to Allison, who stared back expectantly with a calm gaze. “That would be,” you whispered breathlessly. There was no way you could put your gratitude into words. “That would be incredible. Thank you both,” was all you managed to say.

In response, you were greeted with a wider smile from the Angel and a small smirk from the wolf. With her hand still grasping yours, Allison stood and helped pull you to your feet. “Let’s go, then. It’s never safe to stay in one place for too long down here. We actually aren’t far from here at all.”

You silently nodded and trailed after the two. Allison had let go of your hand to pick her machete back up from the ground, though you were quick to cling to her arm as she led you down the next hallway over. She grinned at you and squeezed your hand again, not letting it go until the three of you made it to a towering steel door with a large handwheel valve placed in the center. Tom was the one who turned it and pushed it open. He picked up the boxes he had previously set down and carried them inside.

Allison shifted her arm to slip your hands off just long enough for her to lift her own collection of crates and boxes.”You first,” she quipped and nodded her head toward the door. You quickly did as told and stepped into the safe house, instantly looking around at how comfortable it was in comparison to where you had been staying the past couple of weeks.

Soon enough, the door was shut and locked behind you, and you turned to see Allison was now headed toward a shelf to help stock the cans with Tom. All you could think to do was stand there awkwardly, worried you’d only be getting in the way if you offered to help. The Angel took notice of your tense form and chuckled. “You can sit down, darling. We won’t be upset if you make yourself comfortable.” A nod was your reply, and you trotted over to one of the bulky wooden chairs encircling the large table in the center of the room.

You watched as Tom and Allison continued to place the cans on the shelves and counted them. They began talking about how they planned on rationing them evenly between three people. A pang of guilt shot in your heart at how much they were already doing, realizing you didn’t really have anything to offer in return.

You did your best to remind yourself that they were understanding of your situation and likely didn’t expect anything. They were aware that you were struggling to survive on your own, and you had told them of how you had been hiding anywhere you could, so they knew you didn’t have much of anything at all.

Without realizing it, you had lost focus, staring down blankly at the surface of the wooden table. You were snapped out of your trance when a bowl full of bacon soup was placed down in front of you. A quick blink and glance up let you know that Allison had been the one to put it there. “I’m not sure how long it’s been since you’ve eaten, but here. I’m sure you must be starving either way, judging on what you’ve told us so far. I’ll go tidy up where you’ll be sleeping while you eat.”

You continued to stare at the bowl in silence after Allison walked away into a different room. You nearly denied the food, but the volume of your stomach growling forced you to push that thought away instantly. With a swift motion, you picked up the bowl and began to drink from it, too famished to worry about how there was a spoon beside it for you to use instead.

It only took a minute before you had drained the bowl of the broth. You then finally picked up the spoon and used it to scoop up the small pieces of bacon gathered at the bottom. By the time you finished, Allison had returned to the room, laughing softly in surprise at how quickly you had managed to finish. “You really were hungry,” she murmured, then looking sorrowful. “You must’ve had so little to eat while you were wandering around. I can’t imagine being starved for that long.”

A look of sheepishness now adorned your features as you looked down. “Sorry,” you whispered. She stepped over and stood beside you, her hand dropping to rest on your shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize. I would’ve done the exact same thing. In fact, I did do the same thing back when Tom and I started gathering rations.” She smirked and pointed over at the wolf, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Tom eats like that all the time anyway, so you really aren’t doing anything too out of the ordinary here.”

A look of relief crossed her face when you laughed at her words. Now you felt more at ease, even after nearly downing an entire can of soup in less than a minute. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room. It’s nothing fancy, but at least you’ll have your own bed and some privacy.” You felt excited at the mention of a safe place to finally get a proper night’s rest. Standing from your spot at the table, you trailed behind her as she brought you to a small room.

There, you found that you now had a bed with thick comforters and pillows, a large chest tucked in the corner for storage, a makeshift aquarium with live fish built into the furthest wall, and a small column of shelves lined with plenty of books. You beamed ear to ear at the sight, glancing over at Allison. She mirrored your expression, grateful to see you so joyous over what she and Tom were able to provide. “I love it,” you stated gleefully. Almost instantly, you walked forward and practically threw yourself onto the bed, the plush surface welcoming and already lulling you into sleep.

Allison snickered once again and opened the door again. “Sleep well, darling. You’ll be safe here,” she whispered, then closed the door.

 It had been several months since Allison and Tom had graciously taken you in. During that time, Allison had been the most understanding, considering she knew exactly what you were going through. She helped you choose your name since you couldn’t remember your old one, gave you rations and supplies to keep you safe when you joined her to scavenge for supplies, and offered advice on how to cope with no longer remembering who you used to be.

After another successful round of gathering supplies, you and Tom had sat down at the dining room table to play a game of cards, the radio playing softly in the background. Allison hadn’t gone with the two of you, instead heading down to the lower levels on her own. She returned about an hour after you and Tom had made it back. Immediately after stepping through the door and shutting it, she greeted you both.

You smiled at her as she walked over to give you a small hug. She questioned how the search had gone, and while Tom gave a simple thumbs up, you gave a more detailed description of what had happened. Allison beamed brightly at you and sat in the chair next to you, chin resting in her palm as she listened intently to the way you enthusiastically recalled your quick trip with Tom. As you chuckled at how the wolf had dropped an empty box on his head and gotten it stuck there, the Angel couldn’t help but laugh with you, much to Tom’s dismay.

She could feel the sensation of her heart fluttering that she had grown familiar with during your stay. She couldn’t–and wouldn’t–deny that she had fallen for you, though she wasn’t sure how to let you know. So instead, she kept it to herself for the time being. She enjoyed listening to you talk, hearing you sing with a random song playing on the radio, watching you make up a small dance as you cooked the soup at the stove, and overall just appreciated having you around. That was enough for her until she was ready to confess.

Tom had developed a soft spot for you, too. Although it took him far longer to trust you, he knew that you weren’t there to harm him or Allison. All it took to fully convince him was swooping in to stall an enemy long enough for him and the Angel to get away. You had risked your life for both of them, claiming that it was the least you could do after all they had given you, and that was enough for him. He knew how Allison felt for you, and although it hurt him to watch the woman he was once married to fall for someone else, he was at least glad it was you she had taken an interest in. He trusted that you’d keep her happy.

Once your laughter calmed down and your story came to an end, you couldn’t wipe the smile from your lips, glancing down at your cards. “I really can’t thank either of you enough for helping me out these past few months. I really do appreciate all you’ve done for me, and I hope one day I’ll be able to properly repay you. I love it here in the safe house.”

With a casual motion, Allison reached over and took hold of your hand to squeeze it the way she often did now. “You don’t need to do a thing. Just having you here with us is enough. You know you can stay here as long as you’d like.”

Although she didn’t want to admit it, she had actually grown to hate the thought of you leaving to live on your own. Not necessarily because she didn’t trust that you couldn’t defend yourself, but because she would miss having you around. Tom was great company on his own, but your cheerful, positive personality was a breath of fresh air to both of them. It made it far more enjoyable to come home for the day.

If you left to be on your own, there would be so much she’d miss. No more late night talks or bundling up to read a book together, no more watching you doodle and paint while she talked to Tom about their plans for the day, no more cuddling up under the blankets with each other when the studio grew frigid in the winter months, and no more days spent simply relaxing with the one person who truly understood all she had been through.

In a way, she had grown dependent on you.

It was a foreign feeling, considering she had grown to be a hardened survivor, but she enjoyed this new sensation.

She loved feeling this way.

She loved you, so, so much.

“You know we’ll always be here for you. You aren’t doing this alone anymore.” Her hand squeezed yours again, her gaze lingering a little too long on your features as you bashfully moved to stare back at your free hand still grasping your cards with a smile. “I know,” you replied. “Thank you both so much. I can’t ever tell you how grateful I truly am. And for what it’s worth, I promise to protect both of you with my life the same way you’ve done for me.”

Although your next words were mostly directed toward both of them, you found yourself staring directly at Allison as you spoke. Your hand squeezed hers three times, a wordless phrase her face burned brightly at. She had no need to worry about whether or not you knew of her feelings for you anymore–you had just told her you felt the same, even when your words didn’t say it explicitly.

“You mean everything to me. I couldn’t have asked for better love and company in this new world. Thank you, truly.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Guardian Angel

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader

Summary: When she grows anxious after defeating Alice to keep you safe, Allison vows to protect you from every threat in the studio.

Word Count: 3.43k Content Warnings: Slight language, mentions of injury, bullet wounds, death, anxiety, and paranoia Category: Soft Angst + Fluff || Preference / Oneshot

[A/N]: Thanks for 210+ followers. :) Note: "[Y/N]" is used in most of my stories, just as a small warning in case that throws you off. I'm switching to have my stories in second-person POV, but all characters will still refer to the reader as "[Y/N]".

Enjoy!

“Darling, I’m not sure about this,” Allison murmured as she stopped you from opening the door. “I know you think you can get through to her, but she’s too far gone. I’ve tried for years now to talk to her. I don’t want her to hurt you.” You smiled softly at her concern. Turning to face her, you took hold of her right hand and clasped it between both of your own. Her expression softened at the warmth of your hands and the sight of your grin.

“Allison, I promise everything will be okay. She’s surprisingly never hurt me before, so I’m sure this time won’t be any different.” She seemed uneasy again. “I know she’s been…"peaceful" with you in the past, but she’s incredibly unpredictable. She could turn on you in the blink of an eye.”

A quiet sigh slipped through your lips and you nodded. “I know. Listen,” you squeezed her hand as you spoke. “I promise that if anything happens, I’ll get away from her as fast as I can, and I’ll hide away until I can get back, or at least until you or Tom can find me, okay?”

Something in her eyes seemed to show that she didn’t trust your words. She knew she could trust you, and that you likely could get away if you needed to, as you promised, but that didn’t take away her growing fear of losing you to the very woman she tried to help her entire life down in the studio they had shared. Still, she could only nod and ask you to be careful. She watched with slight panic when you slipped through the door and disappeared down the halls. She prayed she’d see you again. Alive.

“Alice, I’m not trying to start an argument. I’m just saying it might be good to find a more humane way to carry out your experiments. I’m not saying you have to stop doing them,” you explained, trying to keep your voice steady to avoid upsetting Alice even further. Your tone, no matter how calm it was,  still seemed to agitate her. She all but growled at you, finally turning to you and shoving you backward. You flailed your arms in an attempt to steady yourself. She stepped closer soon after and shoved an accusatory finger in your face. “Who do you think you are, telling me what to do and ordering me around?” You stared at her, confused. “Alice,” you started, hands now held up in surrender. “I’m not ordering you to do anything. All I’m saying is–” The Angel shoved you again.

“You will not speak to me and try to control me. Especially not while we’re in my territory.” Her arm swooped up, motioning toward the arena she had made her own in case of an attack. Quickly after, her attention turned back to you, the non-tattered part of her lips stretching further into a scowl. Once more, you offered up a sign of peace, trying your best to calm the situation.

When Alice got as irritated as she seemed to be in that moment, it tended to be best to either do as she said or find common ground. You had no idea how you managed to get her to spare you for this long, but you certainly didn’t want to ruin it and lose your life. You had promised Allison that you’d come home, and you didn’t intend to break that promise.

“Alice, I promise I’m not trying to upset you here. We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, I just wanted to give my opinion on what you’re doing. I see now that was a mistake.” At first, it felt like those words were the correct ones to use in the moment. Her body language seemed to prove you wrong, however. Shoulders tensed and jaw clenched, she raised her hand. Before you had any time to react, the backs of her knuckles came down hard against your cheek, sending you spiraling down.

When you gathered your bearings again, you found that she was now standing over you. Her leg lifted and just as swiftly dropped down. Her heel jabbed you roughly in the stomach and dug itself in, causing you to wail and clutch at her calf. Pathetically, you tried to push her leg away. “You have no right to speak to me that way. Had I wanted someone’s opinion on what I’m doing, I certainly would not have asked someone as incompetent as yourself. You will obey me in my domain, and I am ordering you to keep your mouth shut!”

As best as you could, you let out a weak cough, then begged her to stop. “Please, Alice,” you managed to choke out. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to–” “No!” In a mere second, you were staring down the barrel of her tommy gun. “I’m not sure why I was ever merciful toward you. You’re with that…that copycat, Allison! I should’ve known right away that you were only going to be a thorn in my side.” She stepped closer with a wicked grin, bringing her gun only an inch from the center of your forehead. “Final curtain, honey. Now you won’t burden me ever again.”

Her finger slipped from the side of the guard, hooking around the rugged trigger. She cackled as she studied the fear in your eyes, almost as if she found some sort of sick, twisted delight at the sight. “Bye-bye, baby,” she mocked. Your eyes pinched themselves shut, tingling limbs frozen in shock and terror as you silently readied yourself for the loud crack of your demise. The barrel finally planted itself against your clammy skin.

A loud cry rang out, and the gun finally fired.

One pop, then two.

You remained still on the ground, too afraid to open your eyes.

Still, you were breathing.

You could still hear the now deafening silence that surrounded you.

The sound of your heartbeat hammering against your ribs finally filled your ears.

At length, when you felt no pain where you had been preparing to, you finally let yourself peek at your surroundings. Alice was no longer in front of you, nor was the weapon. Almost instinctively, your hand came up to the center of your forehead, fingertips shakily grazing against the uninjured skin. Your hand dropped back down, allowing you to see that all you had collected was sweat. There was no blood that you could see.

“[Y/N]!” A familiar voice finally called out, snapping you out of your confused trance. When you looked up, Allison was there, concern riddled against her face and contorting her features. “Oh, thank the heavens you’re alive. I was so afraid I hadn’t gotten here in time. Are you alright? She didn’t hurt you too badly, did she?” Her free hand cupped your face. She tilted your head to the side, examining you and searching for any cuts or bruises. The same hand then dropped down to lift your shirt. She winced at the sight of your skin already bruising because of Alice’s heel. You could see she was holding something. You turned your head far enough to see what it was.

There, in her other hand, was the tommy gun that had nearly taken your life shortly before. You finally managed to glimpse around to see where Alice had gone, only to find her on the ground with inky blood pooling around her. There were two visible bullet holes from where you were seated. One in the center of her throat that caused her to gurgle as she gasped for breath, and the other through the lower part of her jaw. Her limbs seemed to twitch and convulse for a brief moment, then stilled. You shivered at the sight, stifling the bile creeping up your throat, then finally returned your attention to the woman in front of you to ignore the reality of the corpse by your side.

“Uh,” you stammered, struggling to form words. Blinking from the sensation of your eyes burning, you felt Allison’s thumb graze over your cheeks to wipe the trickling tears away. “Uh, no, I’m alright.” She sighed heavily in relief. After bringing you up to your feet, she helped to lead you out of the room, supporting your weight against her. Had the gun not still been in her hold, she would’ve picked you up and carried you home. “Where were… how did you get here in time? I thought you were still back at the safe house.”

An anxious look crossed her face. She laughed nervously and glanced up at one of the nearby platforms. “Well, don’t be upset with me, okay?" Wordlessly, you nodded, a sign for her to continue. "After you had told me you were going to speak with Alice, I got really worried, and I ended up following you. I was actually in here before either of you were. I was hiding up there,” she explained, pointing up at the place she had been perched up on before the fight broke out. “At first, I didn’t want to get involved. I trust you, and I know you’re able to get her to calm down most of the time, but when I saw her pull out her gun, I just… I panicked. I had to do something.

“I couldn’t just stand by and watch her kill you, and I couldn't stand the idea of something happening here, out of my control, while I was still home. I would never have been able to forgive myself.” She glanced down at the gun still in her hands. “I’m not sure why my first instinct was to fire at her. It felt like I didn’t have any control over my body. I realized I needed to protect you, and then I sort of,” she paused, trying to find the right word. “Blacked out, I guess.”

You listened intently, unsure of what to say in response. Finally, you glanced down at the ground, watching your feet shakily carry you forward to where Allison was leading you. “Well, either way, thank you. I thought I was a goner back there.” She chuckled weakly and nodded. “Of course. I’ll always find a way to protect you.”

The rest of the walk back to the safe house was silent. The reality of Alice’s death and the fading adrenaline brought both discomfort and exhaustion to the two of you. By the time you made it back, it felt like you were going to collapse any minute. Before that could happen, however, Allison helped you to your room and sat you down on your bed. She left the room, then quickly returned with the makeshift med-kit from the bathroom. “I’ve got some ointment that’ll help with the bruise she gave you. Could you lift your shirt up a bit for me?”

Confused, you obliged, watching as she sat next to you and slid the small jar from the container. How had she known about that?

You hardly remembered that she checked it in the arena. She had even admitted to you that she saw the whole thing happen. Your mind felt fuzzy from all that you had bared witness to.

She unscrewed the cap, scooped up a small amount with the pads of her fingers, then reached down to rub it against your already bruising skin from where Alice had stomped on you. A shiver ran down your spine at how cold it was. She murmured a small apology, though she continued to apply the rest of it.

Eventually, she leaned back and closed the jar. She popped it back into the plastic med-kit box, snapped it shut, then put it away on one of the shelves you kept a few books on near the bed. “That should help it heal a bit faster. I’m sorry I didn’t prevent it in the first place.” You dropped your shirt back down to cover yourself and turned to her.

“Allison, none of this was your fault. You were right. I really should’ve listened to you before I left. There was no reason for me to talk to her about her experiments. I mean, some part of me already knew that she wasn’t going to hear me out, but I still went anyway. I’m just lucky you were there. Otherwise, I’d probably be in Alice’s position: dead on the ground.”

Allison shook her head and grimaced. “Oh, god, I don’t even want to think about that.” You smiled and gently nudged her shoulder.``Well, now you don’t have to. I’m still here right now because of you.” Her lips perked up, mirroring your grin. She seemed to want to say something else, but once you let out a loud yawn, she decided against it. After double checking that you were free of any other injuries, she stood from her spot on the mattress and trailed over to the door. “Well, I’ll let you rest. Don’t be afraid to come get me if you need anything else, alright?”

You nodded up at her. Already, you were climbing underneath the covers and reaching to turn off the bedside lamp. “Thanks again, Allison,” you whispered just loud enough for her to hear before she left. “Of course, darling.” She then stepped out into the hall and shut the door silently behind her. Tom would be out much longer, she knew that, considering he was scrounging around for more scraps to add to their food supply. With how scarce it was, he’d likely be gone for a few days. There was no one else she could talk to about her growing fears. She sighed and went to her room.

Once she was alone, she plopped down onto her bed and let her head fall into her hands. “That was too close,” she mumbled. “I should’ve been there sooner. Acted sooner. I could’ve lost her.”

Her mind continued to race for over an hour, even long after she had shut off the overhead light and bundled herself under her blankets. She stared up at the ceiling once she realized she wouldn’t be getting any sleep anytime soon. The calloused tips of her fingers picked at the frayed fabric of the weighted blanket on top of her.

Although she repeatedly tried to remind herself that you were perfectly alright in the next room over and were going to recover from your minor injury, the reality that you had almost been ripped away from her because of someone she had tried to help for years set in and overwhelmed every thought that crossed her mind. Tears pricked her eyes and trickled down her temples, disappearing into her hairline.

She figured she had been lying there for hours by the time she decided she’d do something about her fears. Swiftly, her arms shoved the comforter away. With trembling legs, she trudged out of bed and left her room. She returned to stand in front of your door, which she opened slowly to ensure she didn’t wake you.

At first, she only sat near you on the bed, watching over you in case you woke up needing something. But she quickly realized that her eyes were growing heavy from fatigue. Somehow, just by seeing that you were still breathing and peacefully sleeping, her mind seemed to finally settle and let her relax. It helped ground her into the present rather than letting her dwell over the haunting image she still had about what would’ve happened if she hadn’t gotten to you in time.

She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her palms and glancing over at the clock you kept hung beside the door. It had been around four hours since she was last in there with you, yet it felt like it had been an eternity for her. As slowly and carefully as she could, she climbed over beside you, shuffling forward to join you under the covers. She rested on her side, greeted with the sight of your back still facing her.

Involuntarily, her hand slid up from its place on the pillow next to her head to place itself on the center of your back. There, she could feel your heart beating safely behind your ribs.

Similar to before, though under different circumstances, it felt like she had no control over her body. She shifted closer to you and pulled you against her, letting her head fall against your back to help her better feel and hear your heartbeat. Cold, strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist and tugged you even further against her form.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” she muttered more to herself than you. “I don’t know how I would’ve reacted if I hadn’t managed to stop her from hurting you again. I don’t think I could’ve kept going. And if Tom weren’t still here, I certainly would’ve given up. The two of you are all I have, and even though I’ve known Tom for so long, I can’t help but fear losing you more. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I honestly think I’ve fallen in love with you. Of course, I have no memory of who I was before I showed up here, so I can’t pull these feelings from anything I might’ve experienced, but it feels like the right term to me.

“I do love you, [Y/N]. I just wish I was able to say it to your face. You’re everything to me, and even though I know you’d still care for me and we’d still be close, I can’t help but fear the idea of you rejecting me or not feeling the same. There’s not much I can offer you down here in the studio, but I want to give you the best life I possibly can. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, regardless of how things turn out between us. I don’t ever want us to grow apart.

“I think that’s why I lost control when I saw how Alice was going to kill you so easily. I’ve never been so quick to kill someone. I like to believe that everyone down here deserves another chance to find themselves again, but I feel like Alice was a lost cause, and seeing her standing over you like that only confirmed it for me. No matter what I did for her, she always seemed to be angry at the world–at herself, too. I was terrified when I saw her point that damned gun at your head. When I can physically bring myself to, I want to throw it into the river of ink downstairs so I'll never have to see it again.

“I don’t think I could go every single day seeing the very thing that nearly stole you from me. I know Alice was the one controlling it, but it brings back too many bad memories and ideas. I just…”

She sucked in a breath, nuzzling her face against your back and sighing when she could pick up the scent of your shampoo and the fragrance you always liked to wear. The feeling of your warmth and soft shirt against her skin helped bring a stronger sense of comfort. Instantly, it calmed her. “I just want you to know that I’ll always do anything I can to keep you safe. Not just from Alice, even though we most likely won’t have to worry about her anymore, but from everything. Including the Ink Demon. If I have to lay down my life to make sure you can live out the entirety of yours, I’ll do it.”

Finally, after so long of struggling to do so, her eyes fluttered shut. A yawn slipped from her lips and she murmured something to herself for a moment. Just as she almost drifted all the way off, the feeling of you shuffling and squirming in her arms brought her back to half-consciousness. She glanced over at you, finding that you had rolled over and shimmied your way beneath the covers to press your head against her chest. She couldn’t help but beam down at you and hug you closer.

Drowsily, she leaned down enough to press a featherlike kiss to the top of your head. Her chin then dropped to rest where her lips had just been, eyes closing once more. Her grip on you stayed firm, even after she had fallen asleep. As long as she knew you were there, safe in her arms, she was confident that everything would be alright.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Headcanons

[BATIM/BATDR] Allison Angel x Female Reader x Alice Angel

Summary: General and romantic headcanons I have about the two main angels in the franchise.

Word Count: 3.54k Content Warnings: Soft mentions of insecurity Category: Fluff + Slight angst

[A/N]: Only a few more characters left, then I'll post my master list and rules for requests. Thank you to everyone who has sent in a request so far!

Enjoy!

Allison

General

Generally one of the kindest, most patient people you’re ever going to meet, especially down in the studio

Her temper hardly ever flares up, but there are moments where she’ll act out of pure fear or anger

Even so, it’ll still be hard to tell how furious she is, considering she hardly ever raises her voice outside of battle

It’s just much harder to see the impatient side of her

She tends to be more logical, wanting to think things all the way through, and she is sure to get others to share their perspective of a situation before she makes a plan

After all she’s witnessed throughout her time at the studio, it’s understandable that she’s cautious of every lurking shadow and newcomer

She’ll welcome others if she feels they aren’t a threat, but still tends to keep an escape route pinned in the back of her mind in case things take a turn (as they have in the past)

She and Tom will both head out together most of the time to gather supplies that they can bring to their safehouse

While together, she feels a bit calmer knowing they have each other’s backs

Whenever she’s wandering around alone, however, she constantly feels on edge about whether or not the Ink Demon will come stampeding toward her

On top of this, she worries that Tom won’t be there when she gets back, or that he won’t be in one piece if he is

Helps whoever she can, even if that means putting herself at risk to save them from the cruelty of the studio, such as the Ink Demon, Alice, and the Projectionist

She’ll only put herself at risk for others if she deems them more important than herself, meaning a loved one (such as Tom or someone she took under her wing)

In the darker spaces of the studio, she’ll find blank spaces on the walls or floors and write messages for the Lost Ones who roam around, hoping to provide some sense of hope for them

Tinkers around with any gadget or scraps she can find, typically to create artificial limbs for those she trusts–an example being the animatronic arm she repurposed for Tom to use after he lost his own

Plays off any injury she gets as minor, no matter how severe it actually is, because she doesn’t want to worry others

She doesn’t mind getting help for what she’s endured, but she wants to ensure everyone else is safe first before she tries to scavenge for what she needs

On constant alert when outside of the safehouse, even if she has reinforcements

Sleep doesn’t come easy in the studio, especially to those who know what dangers threaten each wrong turn, so when she isn’t able to rest, Allison will try to find a way to make herself useful

Generally uses this time to count the stock in their storage, feed the fish, scribble out quick lists of plans she has for material, etc.

Always makes sure to let Tom know where she’s headed before she leaves

Actively searches out Lost Ones who need some sort of aid, making sure to keep a can of bacon soup nearby at all times in case it’s needed

Although there are more people in the studio that she trusts aside from Tom, she still is very strict about who she’ll let into the safehouse

The last thing she wants is to be responsible for the death of Tom or herself simply because she was too trusting toward a stranger

Overall, she’s a patient, kindhearted woman who wants to help others in any way she can, but her years in the studio have hardened her into a survivor, leaving her wary of every deadly possibility that may come her way

Romantic

It takes a while for Allison to trust you, considering all that she’s been through. However, the moment she sees you helping someone escape a situation, or she sees you patching a stranger up and handing them provisions, the tension in her body starts to ease up

Once she trusts you enough, she’ll start noticing your interests and hobbies, and she’ll partake in some of them herself if she can

After a while of growing closer to you and learning that she can trust you fully, she’ll either find that she fancies you, or she’ll notice that you like her first with ease

Either way, she’ll most likely take initiative when it comes to confessing and asking the other out

She likes being upfront and honest, especially with those she loves, so she’ll be relatively blunt about how she feels

She’ll take you somewhere that’s special to the both of you, reveal a small setup she made beforehand, and spend time talking with you before she finally confesses

Compared to most, she’s alright with being rejected–things don’t come easy (or at all), and she’s willing to accept that

As she expresses how she feels, there’s a small sense of anxiety creeping in through her words. She hadn’t confessed to anyone since being rebirthed. She stays calm and confident however, so it’s hard to even pick up on the fact that her hands are trembling and there are small beads of sweat forming on the back of her neck

When you tell her you feel the same way and agree to be her girlfriend, she’s relieved more than anything

She’ll spend more time with you in that space for a while before she walks you back to the safehouse to crash for the night

After the relationship had been established, Allison finally got more bold with a few of her motions

With a little bit of patience, she starts growing more comfortable and confident with being your partner, often finding herself resorting to coming to you for comfort and advice instead of Tom

She’ll, of course, be there for you in all of those ways as well

Dates are sometimes hard to initiate in the studio due to the danger, so she’ll make do with what she has

By this, it means she’ll wait until she knows Tom will be out of the safehouse for a while on a supply run. When he’s gone, she’ll bring out a couple of candles, a radio, and gather a few plates with food she had found–thankful that she managed to find something other than bacon soup

You’ll spend the day together at the table, eating what she prepared, playing cards, and just chatting away about whatever comes to mind

After peace finally settled over the studio (after Audrey helped rewrite what happens during the cycle), dates become more frequent and are out in better spaces in the studio, no longer having to worry about the Ink Demon appearing and ruining everything

Although the small city in the middle of the studio is abandoned, Allison will take you there often, carrying a radio with her to set up

She had–with the help of Tom–pushed a few of the cars to the sides of the street, providing an open space in the middle

There, she’ll place down the radio she brings and tune it to a slower song. She’ll then pull you into the large opening and slow dance with you for a while, complimenting you left and right as she leads

She enjoys doing anything and everything with you that she can

Any hobbies that you’ve shown interest in become a pair-hobby

She’ll sit / stand beside you as you paint, sculpt, read, play an instrument, etc., and she’ll be doing the same, essentially mirroring you peacefully at your side

If she can’t participate in your hobbies somehow, she’ll at least show that she takes interest in it, never making you feel dumb for what you enjoy

When settling down for the night, she’s not opposed to bundling up together in bed, surprised at herself for finding any cuddling position comfortable

Regardless of how you sleep, she’ll ensure that she’s holding you in some way

This stems from trauma and experience before the Ink Demon was tamed, though now it’s more of a comfort thing than a protection thing

If you don’t feel like being touched too much, she’ll hold your hand or keep her hand on your shoulder as you sleep

If you’re the opposite, she’ll let you latch onto her like a koala, or she’ll even do it herself if the day had been particularly demanding for her

She just wants to be close to you, regardless of the fact the studio is much safer now

A way for her to be close to you is by giving you some sort of jewelry

After a while of her experimenting with necklaces and bracelets made of scraps she polished and welded, she finally takes a few measurements and brings you to the place she confessed to you at

There, you’ll find a similar setup to before, and things will run smoothly

After a while of dancing together and talking about what the future will look like, she’ll segway into her speech and drop onto her knee, pulling out a ring from her satchel

When you say yes to marrying her, she doesn’t hesitate to slip the ring on your finger and pull you in for a kiss, overjoyed of the outcome

A small wedding, if you’re comfortable with it, is held shortly after, and her vows are heartwarming: she expresses her constant admiration and appreciation for you walking into her life, promising to always be there for you no matter what, slightly whispering by the time she gets to her statement of how she hopes she’s been half the girlfriend to you that you’ve been to her. Her voice manages to crack slightly at the end, and she’s fighting back the tears, wanting to save them for after the kiss

After the wedding, she somehow finds herself growing even closer to you than before, and things finally seem to fall into place for her

Overall, she’s a loving, understanding, patient partner who wants to be there for you in every possible way. She’ll show interest in your own hobbies, partaking in them herself most of the time, and she’s constantly trying to find a way to make time spent alone together more special. Dates, even before the Ink Demon has been disposed of as a threat, are heartfelt and meaningful, each small act one of intimacy and adoration. She makes time for you, and she always takes your opinions into consideration before making a final decision. With her, you’ll feel safe, understood, and never judged for who you are

Malice

General

Contrary to Allison, Malice–or Susie–tends to be more hotheaded

It’s not hard to upset her, though if she trusts you enough, it’ll sort of be easier to calm her back down

Extremely paranoid of newcomers, and even of those she’s known for decades

Terrified of stumbling across the Ink Demon, so she’ll end up sending any poor soul she’s fortunate to come across on an errand run, promising to send them home as a thank you when they’re done

It’s hard to gain her trust. In her mind, everyone in the studio is out to get her, and she’ll do whatever she can to keep herself safe

When she does have to scavenge for supplies on her own, she keeps a weapon handy at all times, whether it be her tommy gun or a Gent pipe

In what she calls her sanctuary, any mirror that can be found has either been shattered or covered with a thick cloth

The only place a still in-tact mirror can be found is her workshop, where she uses her twisted devices to torture and experiment on the corrupted members of the Butcher Gang

She keeps the mirror there to check how the experiments of harvesting and digesting organs is affecting her physical form

Each time she sees the tattered side of her face, still ripped open and taunting her, she has to will everything in herself not to smash everything in her sight, instead trying to focus on repairing her equipment and scanning across the monitors for the cameras she has set up around the studio

Tends to target creatures that come out “perfect,” meaning she’ll spare the Lost Ones and Searchers if they don’t get in her way

In her room, she keeps a record of her experiments and studies on the anatomy of whatever she can get her hands on

Emptied out the bookshelf closest to the sofa she sleeps on to store her journals and notes

Selfish beyond belief–she refuses to actively help others on her own volition, even if they’re at her feet begging

In order to keep herself safe, she went on a rampage during her first few years after being rebirthed, making a point to others that she’s one to be feared

This worked well, allowing her to isolate herself and focus on perfecting her injections, though it also caused issues with her sanity

Can often be heard shrieking at herself, almost like she’s arguing with herself about whatever has crawled under her skin in the moment

Although she appreciates feeling safe in her solitude, she aches for someone to help her with her dream of one day becoming beautiful again–someone who won’t look at her with terror or hatred

Self-sabotages any kind of trust she has with someone, too worried they’ll double-cross her and she’ll wind up at the mercy of the Ink Demon again

Ultimately, a very paranoid, insecure woman who longs to find herself again. She buries herself in work to distract herself from the reality of what would haunt her mind if she acknowledged it, specifically the abominations that meander through the levels of the studio

Romantic

It takes forever to fully gain her trust enough for her to actually fall for you

After all she had bared witness to in her time down in the studio, it’s hard to blame her for being paranoid about new people around the area

If you somehow manage to stay on her good side and gain her trust, however, she’ll cling to you

In her eyes, you’re the only light left in her dull life down in the inky depths of the very place that made her the way she is

For a while, she’ll keep you hidden in the furthest corner of her safety zone on Level Nine, terrified she’s going to lose the one good thing still left in her life

With a lot of convincing (and the promise made to always carry around a weapon), Malice will finally let you wander around more and more. It’ll start off with her attached at your hip and walking with you everywhere, then slowly shift to her watching you from her cameras

Even when she knows you’ll be safe out in the places you choose to go, she’ll still keep an eye on her monitors here and there to make sure there isn’t anything weird lurking nearby

One way to make her trust you is to promise to help her on her journey to recover her beauty (and sanity)

More often than not, you’ll find her hidden away somewhere in her sanctuary, sobbing and curled up on the ground as she desperately tries to hide her face from you

You’ll have to comfort her when she gets that way

One thing that makes her melt during her swings of insecurity is when you hold her close and caress her face, especially if you cup the tattered side just as tenderly as the part that’s still in-tact

Gaze at her without any sense of fear or discomfort, and she’ll break, weeping against you after she drops her head against one of your shoulders, her hands clutching at your shirt to try and pull you closer

If you work with her enough, she’ll start to grow a little more comfortable with how she looks. She’ll still have breakdowns and moments where she wants to be alone, but she’ll come around to you sooner or later

Will absolutely gawk at you with hearts in her eyes if you protect her from the creatures threatening to attack when you both go out to scavenge for supplies. Bonus points if you help her in her lab with dissecting the Butcher Gang’s organs

Since she’s managed to keep Level Nine relatively safe from the Ink Demon, there’s a wider amount of space for her to bring you for dates

During these moments alone in random parts of her sanctuary, she’ll feel safe enough to show her vulnerabilities, showing you the torn part of her face without trying to hide behind her hair or turn away

She’ll express that she’s worried about the future, wondering if she’ll ever manage to perfect her experiments and fix her face

Comfort her when she talks about those insecurities, and she’ll practically swoon, melting under your touch and leaning into it as she scoots closer

One of the main things about being with her is she needs constant reassurance that you love her and aren’t afraid of her

It’s hard for her to trust anyone, and when she finally fully trusts you, she wants to do everything she can to keep you in her life, even if it means resorting to selfish means. It’s not necessarily her fault for being so possessive, but you’ll eventually have to convince her to work on it when it gets to be too much

Even after things settle down when Audrey shows up, she’s still be worried about you leaving certain parts of the studio that she can’t access with her cameras, and she’ll come with you for a while

Eventually, she’ll realize she isn’t in constant danger anymore and will let you wander off on your own, so long as you promise you’ll be back soon

She may not participate in your hobbies the way Allison would, but she’ll certainly show curiosity and interest in them. If they’re more on the scientific side, she may join you here and there to learn more about them

At home at night, she almost always needs to be holding you when asleep. More likely than not, she’ll spoon you from behind or just hold you against her chest, keeping one hand next to yours at all times

It’s hard for her to sleep half of the time, so even if you manage to get her to crash for a bit, it won’t be long before you feel her toying with your hair or shirt to keep herself distracted after waking up

She doesn’t want to wake you up just because she’s getting antsy, which is why she does this

When she does manage to sleep throughout a whole night, it’s ridiculously hard to get her out of bed until the early evening. She’ll cling to you and keep you in the bed with her until she’s ready to wake up and get ready for the day, so make sure you have a book or something nearby to keep yourself occupied

Marriage with her is a strange subject, considering she hardly ever speaks to anyone else aside from you (meaning she has no one but you to go to for advice on it). By the time she proposes with a ring she made using the metal from a few of her older tools, you’re already aware of what she has planned, but manage to pretend to be surprised anyway

She’s overwhelmed after you say yes, already worrying about how she’s going to make the wedding perfect, frantically asking you what you want to add to the ceremony and the decorations by the time you head back to the sanctuary

During the wedding, which is held in the Heavenly Toys lobby, her vows start off a little rocky, but just as quickly grow as meaningful as you’ve learned she can secretly be. She talks about how odd she found it that you trusted her so quickly at the beginning of the relationship, but adds that, after looking back on it, she’s grateful you did. She expresses how inspired you’ve made her over the years, and how you always help her work through any issue she has, never looking at her as a burden. She stresses the fact that she loves you more than anything or anyone else, and how she wants to always protect you and keep you happy.

After the wedding, she finally starts to let herself relax. She starts to open up more, and if you strike the right chord with her, she’ll start studying more humane ways to run her experiments

Ultimately, she starts off as a very paranoid partner, terrified you’re going to leave her or be mercilessly slaughtered out in the halls out of her reach. She keeps you close, essentially growing possessive over you within a short amount of time. However, after a while of gaining her trust and promising you’re there to stay, she’ll loosen up and provide more freedom. She wants to keep you safe, even if it means she comes across as selfish, but she knows you can hold your own in most situations, and she’ll learn to have more faith in you. After all, you’re now her wife. There’s nothing her wife can’t handle

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Hurt What's Mine

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 8.05k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, mentions of blood, heavy descriptions of gore and death, hospitalization, brief mention of medication

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: Thank you for 170+ followers! I've got a couple of people who have requested things through my inbox, and I'm hoping I'll be able to answer them soon! I will be open to requests soon, but there are a few more characters I want to write for ahead of time so it's easier to get an idea of what fandoms I'm open to. If you sent in a request, thank you! Once I've posted for a bit longer, I'll upload the masterlist I've made as well as the rules for requesting, then I'll answer requests!

[A/N] #2: If you do have a request that you'd like me to write in the future, please let me know! I'll get to it eventually, things are just hectic right now. Thank you for reading!

Enjoy!

Amongst the loud snapping of twigs combined with the rustling of the leaves overhead, softened chatter could be heard throughout the entrance to the forest. The sky, which had been painted warm shades of red and orange mere moments before, had grown murky with hues of purple and black. Small stars illuminated the sky as it grew darker, bright pools of light poking through the inky atmosphere to aid the moon in flooding the landscape with a soft glow. In accompaniment with the darkness seemingly swallowing up the woodland area that Lara and [Y/N] wandered into, a harsh breeze rushed through the air.

As the two walked deeper into the forest, Lara made sure to reach over when coming across drywood and break it free from the ground, tucking it under her arm. After seeing her do this, [Y/N] mirrored her actions and began to gather wood as well. The two had decided they’d head into the nearby forest to gather kindling for the fire they planned to build back at camp. There, Jonah was waiting, sorting through his supply of herbs and a small flask of water he’d said he would use to stir up a broth of sorts that would help all three stay warm for the night. The only problem being there was no fuel for a fire nearby, so both women volunteered to scavenge for some together.

It had taken quite a while to make it to the woodland area safely, but the conversation they had struck up with each other managed to keep the journey bearable. Thankfully, Lara had remembered to snatch her makeshift machete before heading out. Using the sharpest part of the rusted blade, she sliced through the brush that obstructed their path, allowing them to meander forward with a partial trail behind them.

Soon enough, neither of them were able to carry more of the drywood they came across. With a huff, Lara spun on her heel and jutted her chin toward the path she had made. “We should head back. We can always come back later if we need to gather more.” [Y/N] nodded, trailing behind the brunette as she led the way. A few minutes passed in silence, both women focused on not tripping over the loose roots or pebbles that littered the dampened blades of grass. Ultimately, as they neared the halfway point of the path, [Y/N] decided to break the silence.

“God, I’m glad we haven’t had any run-ins with Trinity. Those guys are a huge pain in the ass,” she complained. At her words, the corners of Lara’s lips perked up into an amused smirk. “Yeah, they are. We still need to keep our guard up, though. There weren’t any traces of them following us here, but that’s been the case the last couple of times as well. They’ve got the wrong motives, but they’re clever, and they know how to handle stealth operations.”

A grimace painted [Y/N]’s features as she nodded in response. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Silence once again fell upon them, allowing their senses to return to the sound of their own footsteps beneath them as they staggered ahead. While they recalled the way they came from, they struck up another conversation with one another, trying to keep the mood light in the eeriness that made itself known between the towering trees. It seemed to work–both felt more at ease as they chatted away. Merely a moment seemed to pass, however, before a loud clamp echoed throughout the area, followed by a ticking and whirring noise nearby.

Before either had time to react and understand what had happened, Lara flew backward with a holler and collapsed onto the ground. She was yanked forward once she made contact with the soil. The whirring noise returned, louder this time, and she was soon dangling high in the air by her foot. She groaned, her ears ringing and vision blurry from the way her head had bashed against the floor. Her eyes were pinched tightly shut, though her hand instinctively reached for her belt to find her gun.

Squinting and blinking her eyes rapidly, Lara managed to clear her view. All at once, she could make out what had happened. Just a few feet away, [Y/N]’s leg had been caught in a similar trap, but she wasn’t conscious enough to try and escape. Lara’s arm whipped forward to take aim, watching with a newfound sense of terror as a horde of shielded soldiers, clad in black, swarmed forward to the two. Even as she struggled to steady the hand that she gripped the gun harshly with, Lara began to fire warning shots, striking several of the soldiers and watching them plummet to the ground in waves.

A few that hadn’t been shot dashed toward [Y/N] and took hold of her limp arms. They hollered at each other to get her down, using her as some sort of human shield to avoid being killed as well. Upon seeing them grab the unconscious girl, the blood pumping from adrenaline underneath Lara’s skin lit aflame with fury and a desire to defend. Her aim became far more accurate, more fatalities becoming visible as she fired away at them, a wolf’s snarl lacing her words as she bellowed at them to leave her alone.

She knew she just needed to get enough of them down so she could break free from the pulley that tightened the rope around her ankle to a painful degree. If she could do that, she could protect [Y/N] and help her flee. A false spark of hope flushed through her veins as she noticed she had cleared most of the squad, the lie of it evident as her clip ran empty and more men emerged from the distance. She cursed at herself, her hands unsteadily flying back up to her belt to find another magazine and reload. As she struggled with fiddling her pack open to search, she failed to register the sound of thundering footsteps nearing her from behind.

Finally, she pulled a clip free with a small huff of relief. She let her empty mag drop to the ground, flicked upward with the new one to reload, then cocked the hammer back before taking aim. A single bullet fired from the barrel, and everything went black.

Everything seemed to come back at once–every sense flowing forward and overwhelming Lara’s mind. A muffled groan slipped past her lips as she managed to lift her head. Entirely unaware of her bearings, her eyes flitted around in confusion, unable to see with her eyes wide open. She jerked her arms forward, hoping to grab hold of whatever fabric covered her face, only to feel cold steel dig harshly into the skin on her wrists. She hissed in pain, wriggling for a moment as she tried to understand what had happened.

Her focus returned to what she could feel. She had been chained to something, though it was hard to make out exactly what it was. Against her back, she could feel jagged wood scratching at her scarred skin each time she moved. Her arms encircled whatever it was she was pinned up on. Piecing things together, she figured she had been cuffed to a wooden beam somewhere. That didn’t explain where she was, though. Aside from the village she and the others had passed through once they arrived, there were no structures of any kind as far as she could tell. Had one of the villagers turned and taken her hostage?

She could feel the frigid grated steel beneath her, which confirmed she had to be somewhere else. The ground in the homes of the village had been purely dirt and tattered cloth.

Then where the hell was she?

What had happened before she blacked out?

“Oh, look who’s up from her nap,” a booming voice called out, pulling Lara from her thoughts. Her head shot up, a quick yelp of pain greeting her as her head throbbed from the sudden motion. “Who the hell are you? Where am I? Where’s [Y/N]?” She couldn’t recall what she had been through beforehand, though some part of her told her she needed to defend herself regardless. A deep chuckle rumbled nearby before the owner of the previous voice stepped closer. Lara braced herself for a hit, fighting back a flinch when gloved fingers gripped the top of what had been obstructing her view and tugged upward.

She squinted with a hiss as the overhead lights flashed their way into her eyes, effectively blinding her for a moment. As her vision cleared and adjusted, she jerked her head to the side to face whoever had granted her the ability to see again. A moment hardly passed before her face contorted with anger: her brows furrowed tightly together, practically knitting themselves as one, her jaw clenching as her teeth ground painfully against each other.

“Who the fuck are you?” She snapped. Quickly, her outrage completely replaced the feeling of distress, only worsening when her gaze flickered down to see Trinity’s emblem stitched into the man’s tactical vest. He laughed, tossing the woven bag that had been tied around her head to the side. “You don’t need to know who I am, but I certainly know who you are.” He grinned, then reached behind Lara to pick something up from behind the pillar. Briefly after, he leaned back again, dangling her tactical belt tauntingly in front of her, still fully equipped with all of her weapons.

Her eyes widened a fraction at the sight, instinctively flying down to find and confirm that she had indeed been stripped of her only means of defense in this position. Immediately, she knew she needed to free herself. With the methods she had been taught after tussling with offenders before, she knew she could easily wrestle this man to the ground and overpower him. With her arms restrained, however, she could only fight back at an infuriatingly close range.

He seemed to notice the stress that had returned to Lara’s mind, letting out another cackle at her misfortune. He stood, twisting his torso far enough to hurl the belt over the railing. As he made his way over to squat in front of her again, she took this opportunity to look around. She had been right: she was chained to a wooden support beam, and she was seated against steel. Through the holes in the grated plates, she could see she was far up off the ground, at least three or four stories high.

Looking up, she could see layers of other platforms above, towering to an ungodly height. Dropping her gaze back down, the platform she was on curved around a circular building just behind her, and ahead of her, a long metal bridge stretched out to connect to an identical structure. As her eyes focused in on a figure across the platform, her blood ran cold, wishing she hadn’t recognized what was happening.

Everything that had happened before she ended up here came flooding back. The forest, the traps, the soldiers, everything. Now separated, [Y/N] was similarly cuffed to a pillar. Her binds seemed tighter, red lines already formed on her wrists as though she had been struggling against them for a while. For the first time since making it to the town, Lara felt genuine fear. Had they already hurt [Y/N]? Had they forced her to give away where Jonah was?

“[Y/N]!”

“Ah, so you noticed,” the man voiced, bringing her attention back to him. Shakily, she lifted her head, She screamed at herself, willing her voice into intimidation. “Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Internally, she cursed at the way her voice wavered and cracked.

The man grinned devilishly, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do you? The moment you brought her here, you forced her to be a part of this. Like it or not, she has everything to do with this.” He leaned forward, blocking her view of [Y/N] and forcing her to look him in the eye. “It’s your fault.” Bringing his hand to his chin, he glanced up and mockingly pretended to think. “I suppose the saying, “like father like daughter,” is true after all. Wouldn’t you say so?”

At the mere mention of her father, a concoction of emotions bubbled beneath the surface of Lara’s skin. Even so, she forced her expression to remain stern. “Don’t you fucking talk about him.” Once again, she was met with a laugh.

A soldier that had been stationed nearby stepped closer to the two, concern laced in his tone. “Sir, shouldn’t we be careful? She’s taken out half of our men already, and most of it was entirely on her own.” The man in front of Lara rolled his eyes and stood, giving a small shrug. “Relax, I’m just having a bit of fun. There’s nothing she can do like this,” he gestured toward her. “With respect,” the soldier started, “she’s gotten out of tougher situations. Maybe we should–”

In an instant, the man, who Lara assumed was the captain at this point, whipped his gun from its holster on his hip and stood. He flicked his arm upward and pointed the barrel directly against the soldier’s forehead, prompting him to freeze. “I’ll fucking take care of it, you got it? All I’m gonna do is get her to tell me a few things, then we’ll blow both of their brains out, then be on our way. Stop me like that again, and the first round will go through your thick skull. Understand?”

Quickly, the soldier nodded and stepped back to his station. “Yes, sir.”

The captain then tucked his gun away. He turned and made a motion with his head to the group across the bridge. Lara glanced behind him to see what was happening, only to panic further as they crouched beside [Y/N], who flinched away at their touch. “Don’t touch her!” She screamed, thrashing violently against her restraints.

“Oh, don’t worry,” the captain teased, crouching down in front of her again to look her in the eye. “As long as you answer some questions, we won’t hurt her anymore.” Anymore. That word bounced through Lara’s head as she barely managed to notice that [Y/N]’s skin was littered with bruises and cuts. She swallowed hard, glaring at him. “What do you want? What questions?” He again acted as though he was deep in thought. “Well, for starters, you could tell me where the artifact you're looking for is.”

She scoffed. “So what? You can use it to wipe out humanity? Like you tried to do with the Divine Source?” The captain forced a smile. His hand lifted from his side and made a motion toward the group behind him. Lara watched, horrified, as one soldier used all his strength to kick [Y/N] in the stomach, another grabbing a fistful of her hair and slamming her head back against the pillar. She cried out in pain, desperately trying to free herself.

“Like I said, tell me what I want to know, and she won’t get hurt.”

Lara practically growled at him when she spoke. She ordered him to call the group back, threatening to make his death hell if he didn’t comply. “What do you think you can do? Can’t exactly kill me while you’re stuck here.” She scowled, her fingertips tapping at the chains in search of the padlock. Her arm shimmied a bit, allowing one of her hairpins to slip from the cuff of her sleeve and into her hand that she kept tucked away for situations exactly like this.

As she fiddled with trying to find the padlock, the captain continued to hound her with questions.

“Where’s your camp? I know you brought someone else here too.” She shuddered at the thought of Jonah being dragged into this as well. “I don’t know. I don’t even know where the hell I am, and you expect me to remember how to get back?” Another motion was made, prompting another harsh punishment to be given to [Y/N]. Lara shouted her name, begging her to hold on and promising she’ll get the two of them out.

The captain scoffed and crossed his arms. “Are you really not grasping what I’ve said? Answers for me means less pain for her.” Panicked, Lara thrashed again, her hands trembling as they continued their search. “I’m trying! But you aren’t giving me questions I can answer!” It was hard to mask her relief when her fingers finally found the padlock, though she instead focused on wriggling the bobby pin into the lock. “Well,” the captain huffed, standing again and slipping his gun from his belt. “I think I know something that might trigger your memory.”

At that, he turned and began walking toward [Y/N], wordlessly ordering the group of soldiers to back away. “No, don’t hurt her!” Lara was practically screaming at her hands to still, and with another brief moment, she finally managed to pick the lock, wrestling her arms free from the chains and stumbling as she stood. Without an ounce of hesitation, she lunged forward toward the captain, grabbing hold of him and trying to keep him away. He hollered in surprise, reaching back to claw at her and get a grasp. “Get off of me, you bitch!”

The team of soldiers that had been abusing [Y/N] only a mere moment before were now hurtling toward her. With a bit of a struggle, three of the soldiers managed to pry her off of him, throwing her back before forcefully pinning her against the pillar yet again. She fought against them, screaming for them to let her go. The captain ahead grumbled and stared her down for a moment, though he was quick to turn and walk toward [Y/N] again.

As Lara thrashed against the soldiers holding her down, the head of the team reached up toward a sheath against his hip, his gun having been smacked out of his hand and over the ledge from Lara’s outburst. Something felt as though it were burning in her mind, growing hotter and hotter as the captain closed the space between him and [Y/N]. She couldn’t let Trinity take another person she loved away from her. She wouldn’t allow it.

Hardly managing to remember her training, she turned and lunged her torso forward, using all of the momentum to headbut the soldier grasping her right arm in the face. He howled in pain, letting her go and falling backward. She then turned to the man holding her left shoulder. In the blink of an eye, she whipped her arm in a circular motion, gripping his wrist and forcing his arm to twist until he let go. Just as quickly, she shuffled forward and kicked the third soldier square in the chest, effectively knocking the wind out of his lungs.

Before she could stand, two more men sprinted forward and blocked her path, one of them managing to land a few rough kicks to her face and head. She hooked her arm beneath the back of his leg, jolting up to stand and flipping him backward. The second soldier struggled to free his rifle from the band on his back. By the time he managed to try and aim at her, her forearm flew sideways and struck his wrist, the impact catching him off guard and causing him to drop his weapon. Lara then leapt forward and gripped the straps of his tactical vest. She spun around to gain more force before driving him around again and launching him over the railing, not bothering to watch as he plummeted toward the ground countless meters below.

She turned, determined to get to the captain, but froze in place. Still so far away, he had freed [Y/N] of restraints, knowing she wouldn’t have been able to fight back. He pinned her against the platform, his knees planting themselves on either side of her hips as he drove his knife down into her stomach. Lara watched as [Y/N] tried to gasp for air, only to choke and let out a silent scream.

She felt everything grow heavy, ready to give into the temptation to drop to the ground. An inhumane level of fury coursed through her veins, and soon she found herself running forward at full speed, no longer in control of her body.

The neared the captain in only a few seconds, leaping from the ground and thrusting her arms forward. She tackled him off of [Y/N]’s writhing body and ripped the blade from his hand, dropping it and instead using her fists to beat any part of him she could see. Hit after hit, punch after punch, a new bruise formed on his skin, thinner sections splitting open into gashes. His blood seemed to all pool together beneath his head.

Lara let out a yell with each strike made against his skill. She lost count of the amount of times her knuckles made contact with the swollen form beneath her, not even noticing that her knuckles had begun to tear open and bleed from the sheer force alone. As his arms and legs fell limp against his sides, Lara’s punches came to a stop. Her bloodied hand reached over and grasped the handle of the knife, knuckles white from the tightness as she lifted the blade above her head.

Instantly, she plunged the knife down, listening with a sick joy as the thin metal ripped through layers of skin and organ, cracking through parts of his ribs. Mirroring what [Y/N] had done, the captain hopelessly tried to gasp for breath, instead wheezing and sputtering while his hands weakly scratched at her arms. Only for a moment, she kept the knife there. Before she could watch the life leave his eyes, she drew the blade out and immediately thrusted it down into his jugular with an equal force.

Her hands let go of the handle and dropped to land at her sides. She stared down, gleefully studying the way the captain clutched at his throat, a thick puddle of blood erupting from his mouth and trickling down his cheeks and jaw, disappearing into his hairline and accumulating with the crimson red under his trembling form. Glaring down at him with dull eyes, she lazily tugged the rifle from his back, forcing herself to stand and turn around.

She hadn’t heard the group of soldiers thundering up the stairs, but she had apparently sensed it. Effortlessly, she lifted the rifle and took aim, crouching down and firing away as the men made their way up one by one. By the time the team died out, she heard the gun click. Her gaze bored down at the rifle, realizing she had burned through the ammo. With a grunt of disapproval, she discarded the gun, then ripped another one away from a nearby lifeless body. She used that rifle to finish off the squad, blankly staring ahead after lowering the gun.

As her mind clouded over, taking in the scene before her, she tossed the gun to the side, straining to hear as it clattered against the steel platform. A bloodbath. That was the only way she could possibly describe it. Piles of bodies across such a small space, silver metal now stained red from blood and black from gunpowder. Lifeless eyes of the fallen seemed to watch her as she lifted her hands, taking in the way blood coated her skin. She wasn’t sure how much of it was hers and how much of it was the captain’s. She paid it no mind, instead rotating her hands to examine her knuckles. She had most definitely broken a few, if not all, of them,

Had she actually done all of this?

Nothing felt real.

The sudden sound of harsh coughing broke her out of her trance, forcing her attention toward the source. She scrambled over to [Y/N]’s side, holding her head up as she processed just how badly she had been hurt. Adding onto the gaping wound in her torso, countless bruises and cuts peppered every exposed inch of skin. The back of her head had been dripping blood from being hammered into the wooden beam. Lara gasped and frantically helped her prop her head up to prevent choking on her blood, her eyes scanning the surrounding area for something to help stop the bleeding. She grimaced when [Y/N] whimpered from the way she stretched over to grab a torn uniform.

Thinking on her feet, she slid to the wall of the base and leaned the wounded girl against it, apologizing tearfully each time she yelped in pain. After tearing the uniform into a thinner piece, she began stuffing part of the wound, earning more cries. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, finally using the rest of the cloth to ball it up. “This is going to hurt, but I need you to trust me.”

Before [Y/N] even opened her eyes, Lara forced her hand downward, applying an immense amount of both pressure and pain to the wound. At this, [Y/N] screamed in agony, her eyes beginning to roll back as her breaths quickened. Lara cupped her jaw and shifted forward. “[Y/N]? No, [Y/N], I need you to stay with me, okay? Keep your eyes open! Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. Stay with me,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady.

“[Y/N], please, I can’t lose you. Not like this. Keep your eyes open–that’s all I need you to do!” Her words fell upon deaf ears, no matter how desperate they became. Before Lara could beg for her to listen again, [Y/N]’s head drooped down, her body now completely limp.

“[Y/N]?” Lara whimpered, shaking the unconscious girl’s head as a silent plea. When no response came from the motion, the Croft felt her tears beginning to spill, only being able to whisper “no” repeatedly. Her hand, the one that had been holding up the woman’s head, slid down to check for a pulse. She gasped softly when she found it, though realized she had to act quickly from how weak it was. “Shit,” she blurted, once again examining her surroundings. That bastard had thrown her radio over the railing with her weapons. There was no way she could contact Jonah without alerting any other potential Trinity bases of where they were. One look down at [Y/N], however, forced her to take that risk.

She stood and quickly rushed over to the nearby bodies, her calloused, bloodied hands desperately searching their equipment for a radio of sorts. She cursed with each failed search, though lit up only a fraction once she found one. Quickly, she ran to sit by [Y/N]’s side again, holding her up and pulling her close, keeping an eye on her as she sent out a message.

“Jonah? Jonah, are you there? Can you hear me? I need your help: [Y/N]’s bleeding out!”

She released the button, only earning static in response. Her eyes shot back to the woman beside her, her only shimmer of hope dimming immediately. Her finger clicked down again, lifting it closer to speak into it once more.

“Jonah, I need you here! Jonah, please, can you hear me?”

A choked sob erupted unwillingly from her throat. She felt like curling into herself and breaking right there. Now hunched over, she clutched the radio tightly against her chest, grasping a handful of her hair as she tried to come up with another plan. All she could bring herself to do for a moment was weep, terrified of losing the woman propped up by her side.

Her mind cleared for a brief second, and although she had no idea where they were, she knew they couldn’t stay there. More reinforcements were bound to show up sooner or later, and she was in no state to fight them all. She stood, peering out at the landscape in hopes of finding a landmark she had passed before. The lids of her eyes threatened to shut, heavy with fatigue from the loss of adrenaline and the salty tears that had fallen.

She staggered closer to the rail, gripping onto it tightly as a way to ground herself as she searched further. Her heart felt like it was going to sink down into the pit of her stomach upon spotting a village in the distance. She turned to [Y/N], unsure if either of them could even make it that far. There was a chance it wasn’t the village she had been in either, on top of the fact there could be more traps hidden in the forest.

That only stopped her briefly. She knew they needed to leave, and she knew it was better to head out with the chance of finding Jonah than staying there to die.

Willing every ounce of strength she had left, she plucked the rifle she had thrown to the side back up, slinging it over her shoulder before wobbling back to [Y/N]. She huffed, sucking in a deep breath to ready herself, then bent down to pick her up, one arm tucking itself underneath her knees, and the other wrapping around her torso.

She turned, stumbled forward toward the stairs, and wrestled with the urge to look down at the unconscious form in her arms.

Each step down felt like a mile, Lara’s calves straining and aching, feeling as though they would give in and snap like twigs. By the time she managed to make it to the ground, it took everything in her not to collapse. She just kept telling herself they’ll be there soon. That was all she could do to keep moving forward. If she didn’t make it, not only would [Y/N] die, but she would as well. The marks from the beating she had taken had begun to finally sink in, adding to the difficulty.

She swayed every few steps. Her body threatened to fall over anytime she leaned too far.

She had no way of knowing she was going in the right direction, only able to rely on her instinct. There was no path, no landmark, no sign of nearing the village, which is why it was such a surprise when she could hear hollering up ahead. She strained her ears, hardly managing to make out that the unidentified voice was calling her name.

“Jonah?” She whispered hoarsely.

“Lara! [Y/N]! Are you two out there?”

“Jonah,” she weeped, unable to raise her voice any further.

Her feet continued to stumble toward the sound of his voice. The closer she got, the stronger the small spark of adrenaline she somehow still had grew. Finally, realizing he was only a few feet away, Lara managed to pick up her pace, lightly jogging forward. “Jonah, we’re here,” she cried out weakly. She moved ahead, breaking through the entrance of the forest to reveal the small patch of land they had originally tried to set up camp at. There, Jonah turned around and instantly ran over.

“Lara, you’re alright! I heard gunfire, but I didn’t know where you were, and–”

“Jonah, we need to get back to the plane right now. [Y/N]’s losing too much blood, and I don’t know how much longer she’s going to last,” although her tone was weak, there was no doubt she was terrified. Jonah finally looked down to the woman in Lara’s arms, his body tensing at the sight of all she had been through.

“Shit, what did–okay, but what about what you came here for? We can’t come back! Trinity’s going to–” Jonah knew that even mentioning the artifact in that moment was a mistake, but his mind was racing, preventing him from thinking logically.

“Forget the artifact, Jonah!” Lara snapped, her raspy voice finally reaching the volume she’d wanted to have when calling for him. “I don’t give a shit about that right now! I just want [Y/N] to survive! I’m the reason she’s in this state to begin with–I don’t want to be the reason she dies!”

At her sudden tone, Jonah could only nod and motion for Lara to hand [Y/N] to him to carry her there. Reluctantly, Lara did so, only after realizing she wouldn’t be able to make it to the plane in time if she were the one taking her. Without a moment to lose, Jonah began rushing up the path toward where they had landed, shouting behind him for the Croft to follow.

The ringing returned the closer they got, her vision blurring and growing dark. Everything was spinning, and she had to force herself to keep track of Jonah. By the time they had all made it into the plane, Lara’s body finally gave out.

“You know, I don’t think I had ever scared my father that badly before,” Lara murmured, a gentle chuckle escaping as she smiled fondly at the memory. With a sigh, she felt the pad of her thumb caress the tattered skin on the back of [Y/N]’s hands. For just a single moment, the ticking of the clock hanging above the door synced up with the beeping of the monitor beside the bed. Just as quickly, they fell out of rhythm again, and Lara waited for them to repeat it. Every few minutes, for the past several weeks, both would beat together for just a brief second, only to fall apart again.

It was the only thing she could look forward to anymore. It kept her distracted so she didn’t have to process everything just yet–so she didn’t have to look up at the woman deep in a coma in the bed she sat by. Jonah would come in here and there, reminding her to eat something small or to bring her a spare blanket for the night. Nurses would step inside to take vitals and update Lara on what was happening. And even though [Y/N] was there, whenever everyone else would leave, Lara still felt alone.

She could talk to her, but it was more like talking at her. She had no idea if the woman could hear anything she said, nor did she know when she was going to wake up. It had been seven weeks since they made it back from the expedition. Lara’s injuries were treated fairly easily, but [Y/N] had fallen into a medical coma from blood loss and excessive blunt force trauma. Her chances of survival in the beginning were slim, but things started to steadily improve as the days passed by.

Those days, however, felt like years to Lara. The woman she could once talk to and joke around with, the woman she could once hold and be held by, the woman she could once gaze into the eyes of, now lay before her, unmoving and silent. She was alive, but to Lara she seemed dead. She had been so lively before, and now she couldn’t even open her eyes.

To fill the never-ending silence that weighed heavy upon her shoulders, Lara would talk aloud, pretending as though she was sharing her thoughts with [Y/N] like she had done before everything went awry. Recently, after running out of small-talk she had murmured like it was scripted, she had resorted to retelling memories she had of her father back as a child. Somehow, even as [Y/N] stayed unconscious, Lara felt comfortable sharing her favorite times spent with her late father. Anyone else would’ve been waved off and told she wasn’t comfortable, but [Y/N] had always been the one person she could come to to speak of him freely.

Even seemingly dead, [Y/N] was still the only one she trusted. It was funny, in a way.

She huffed out a sigh, lifting the woman’s hand to her lips and pressing a featherlike kiss to her knuckles. Once her lips left the clammy skin, she brought her head down to lean it against the back of her hand. Her eyes closed, brows furrowed as she bit back a sob.

“I wish I had never brought you with me. If I hadn’t, you would still be comfortable at home, watching TV and sleeping in. You wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t… You wouldn’t be hurt, or strapped to this machine, or fighting for your life. You wouldn’t be in a coma.” She sniffled, squeezing the hand still against her forehead. “This is all my fault. I’m so sorry, [Y/N]. I would take it all back if I could.”

Some part of her waited, half-expecting a response. She whimpered, clearing her throat to prevent herself from bursting into tears again. With a hard swallow, she lifted her head, gaze trailing up to [Y/N]’s face. She smiled. “I have no idea how, but you still look so beautiful. Even when you’re out like this.”

Her free hand lifted far enough to caress the girl’s cheek, then pinch the bridge of her own nose, internally groaning at how heavy her eyes felt. Once her hand planted itself back on her thigh, she glanced over at the heart monitor, watching each movement on the screen intently for a moment, allowing herself to gather her thoughts. Finally, she faced [Y/N] again. Her hand squeezed her leg, unsure of what to say.

“I love you. So, so much. I should’ve said it more before… all of this, but I’m saying it now. I do love you, [Y/N], more than anything in this world.”

She huffed out a pained laugh.

“I don’t know why I’m so mad at you. None of this is your fault. I’m the one who dragged you into the expedition, and I’m the one who ended up getting you captured. I wish I hadn’t begged you to come with me. You deserve to be at home, not in this bed. I should’ve protected you, and I didn’t, and for that, I’m so sorry. You deserve someone better: someone who wouldn’t have gotten you into this mess.

“The worst part is: I don’t even know if you can hear me. I’m not sure if you’ve heard anything I’ve said this entire time. I’m not sure why knowing that you might not hear me hurts so badly, but it does.” Tears once again pricked the corners of her eyes. “God, I wish I could hear your voice again. I miss you so much. I know you’re right in front of me, and I know you’re still breathing and alive, but I’ve never felt so alone. It doesn’t feel like you’re really here. It feels like you’re not you.”

The tears stinging her eyes now blurred her vision and poured down in thick masses. Her free arm raised, allowing her to use the sleeve of her jacket to wipe them away. Once they dried, she looked up at her again, hands trembling harshly.

“Please wake up. I’m begging you.”

Grumbling was all Lara could do in her unconscious state. Any small sound she could hear had her grumbling louder: pages flipping, pens scribbling, pills rattling, doors opening, monitors beeping. Everything that she could hear seemed to be working against her, screaming at her to wake back up. It was late at night when she finally let herself drop her head onto the edge of the hospital bed to rest. Hand still clutching onto [Y/N]’s, she managed to drift off for the first time in days.

The sounds grew incessant, however, stirring her partially awake. Each little noise irritated her further, and she had to fight the urge to muffle the scream bubbling up in her throat with the sheets cushioning her head. To add onto her growing frustration, something squeezed softly at her hand, forcing her back to her senses.

“For fuck’s sake,” she mumbled, lifted her head, then looked down at her hand. Her brows pinched tightly together, she sat there, processing what she had just felt. Again, her hand was squeezed.

Her brain, although severely sleep deprived, finally managed to register what had happened. Immediately, she looked up from her hand, her eyes landing on [Y/N], who finally opened her eyes for the first time in months. She gazed back at Lara the way the brunette had been craving the entire time. Upon seeing that she was now awake, tears instantly trickled out from Lara’s eyes, a shaky sob accompanying them.

“[Y/N]?” She whispered, unsure if she was actually awake.

“Hey, Lara,” came her raspy reply, a tired grin gracing her cracked lips.

Right away, Lara sprung up from her seat by the bed and leaned forward, capturing [Y/N] in a tight embrace. “Oh my god, I don’t–” She sniffled. Her leg lifted up, allowing her to sit beside the woman now practically cradling her in return. “You’re awake. You’re finally awake. I don’t believe it.”

She leaned back from the hug, cupping [Y/N]’s face in her hands and studying every little feature she could see. Sob after sob wracked through her body as she pressed a kiss to the wounded woman’s lips, only shifting back to pepper the rest of her face in similar kisses. “I thought I lost you,” she whispered after calming down enough to speak. Her voice trembled and broke more with each passing word, rambling about what she had feared.

“God, I love you so much.”

Again, she captured [Y/N]’s lips in her own, pure relief washing through her senses when she felt her kissing back. Weakly, the bandaged girl chuckled. “I love you too,” she rasped out.

Lara instantly leaned back into the embrace, clutching desperately at the hospital gown she rested against. She swayed side to side, shivering as [Y/N] soothingly rubbed up and down her back. She couldn’t begin to explain how she felt at that moment. All she could say was she was so relieved to know that the woman she held closest to her heart was alive and breathing.

“Can I ask you something?” A soft voice whispered. She leaned away again to look her in the eye. “Of course. Anything at all.”

“What happened after I was stabbed?”

Lara froze, now growing uncertain. “You don’t remember?” She sucked in a shaky breath when her only response was a shake of the head. Her gaze dropped down, unsure of where to start. She scratched the back of her neck anxiously, took another deep breath in an attempt to steel her nerves, then cleared her throat. “Well, I’m not really…”

She turned to glance behind her, ensuring no one else was in the room before she spoke again. There was no shame in what she had done–not for her–but she’d be torn away instantly if someone overheard. [Y/N] had just woken back up, and she wasn’t going to risk losing her all over again. Although, that still might be a possibility, depending on how she took the news.

She explained herself, sparing no detail of what she had committed in her blind rage. From wrestling with the soldiers to stabbing the captain of the team in both the chest and the throat, she confessed every little atrocity that had been brought about by her hands alone. As she spoke, she averted her eyes, too afraid of being gazed at with disgust. She focused on the pattern stitched into the bedsheets bundled up atop [Y/N]’s legs.

Finally, she managed to tear her eyes away from the sheets and look back into [Y/N]’s. She swallowed, surprised to see that familiar glint of admiration in her eyes. There was no sign of repulsion or discomfort at the heinous things she had admitted to. “You’re not mad?” Was all she could ask. [Y/N] snickered and shook her head.

“Are you kidding? Those asswipes beat the shit out of me, and one tried to kill me. I don’t exactly have sympathy for them after that.” Relieved, Lara sighed and grinned. It was a breath of fresh air to see her laugh again, even though it was rather weak.

She turned to sit next to [Y/N], who she then pulled into her side. With a quick peck to the top of the head, she closed her eyes and yawned. “Tired?” “Mmhm.” “Yeah, same.” Lara laughed, looking down at her in confusion. “You were in a coma for nearly three months. Why are you tired?” [Y/N] smirked and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t willingly unconscious. Plus, my body just sucks,” she murmured, earning another chuckle.

“Well, I love your body,” Lara mumbled, tugging her closer. “Every bit of it.”

Waiting a moment, [Y/N] leaned against the brunette fully, her head dropping onto her shoulder as she closed her eyes. She grinned, listening to Lara yawn again before she shivered. “Move your legs for a second,” she whispered to the already half-asleep woman. “Hm?” “Move your legs.” “What? Why?” “So I can cover you up with the blankets.”

Lara seemed to take a moment to understand what she had said. Finally, though, she lifted her legs with a groan, letting [Y/N] slip the covers out from under her and essentially tuck her in beside her. Both sighed in relief: Lara from the warmth of the sheets and [Y/N] pressed against her, and [Y/N] from the feeling of Lara holding her close.

Lights had been turned off throughout the ward for a while, which both women were silently grateful for. As they shuffled to lie down more comfortably beneath the covers, everything seemed to settle down for the first time in months. Lara’s body finally relaxed, the lack of sleep from the past several weeks catching up to her at a rapid speed. She hummed softly as she turned onto her side, pulling [Y/N] into her chest.

“I’m never taking you on a trip like that again,” she slurred out. “At least, not until I know Trinity won’t be there.”

[Y/N] nodded as she listened, also partially asleep. She squirmed a bit, sliding closer while trying to mind her IV. As her head settled against Lara’s chest, she yawned. A moment passed before she spoke again.

“You do know the nurses are gonna come in any minute and realize I’m awake, right?” A groan sounded from Lara, prompting a snicker from [Y/N]. “I’m gonna crawl back into the bed again the second they leave. I just want you in my arms right now.”

“Well, either way, I want you to know that I could hear you for most of the time I was out. And I also want you to know that I plan on saying “I love you” as many times as you did before I woke up. I really do love you. I mean, you were right here the second I woke up, and I don’t know if you ever…” She thought for a moment, opening her eyes and looking up at Lara. “Did you ever leave the room?” Even as she fought to stay awake, Lara scratched her cheek nervously. “Only when I used the restroom. I was afraid I wouldn’t be here when you woke up.”

[Y/N] grinned. “Well, I’m glad you were here. I was worried you wouldn’t be here at all when I woke up. I figured you’d leave and head home, or maybe go back to the village we were at.” Gently yet reassuringly, Lara squeezed her closer. “I would never do that to you. You’re everything to me.”

“And you’re everything to me.”

Another yawn managed to escape the brunette’s lips. She pressed a small kiss to the top of [Y/N]’s head and sighed, already drifting off again. “I love you, so damn much. No one’s going to hurt what’s mine, never again.”

“I’m yours, huh?”

“Of course.”

A gentle smile graced [Y/N]’s features as she shuffled closer, pressing a kiss to Lara’s collarbone as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Of course I’m yours.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Pure Admiration

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.03k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: A really corny ending (bear with me), very brief mentions of death, soft anxiety

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: This was more of a drabble than an actual individual chapter. Not proofread, but the ending is still extremely cheesy, so feel free to ignore it if you'd like.

[A/N] #2: Most likely going to rewrite this sometime in the future, but I currently have six more characters I plan on writing for first.

Enjoy!

Throughout the time she spent during and after the trip to Yamatai, Lara was often seen with a deadpan expression and heard with a cold or uninterested tone by anyone who happened to stumble across her path. Trinity soldiers, paparazzi, Jonah, Sam, and everyone alike had grown accustomed to glancing over at any given moment, and even when she was talking about something she was passionate about, there was always a sense of stress or frustration laced within each crease that lined her face.

Even before her first independent expedition, it wasn’t uncommon to see her scowling down in confusion as she reread over pages and pages of books she had carried to study with, murmuring that she had to be missing something. It had taken a toll on her appearance too–due to the countless nights she spent staying up to continue her research, her eyes had grown dull and heavy with fatigue. It only added to the look of exasperation that seemed to constantly adorn her features.

 To most, it was almost seen as a trademark feature of hers–a part of her that would never fully disappear. It was why it was such a surprise to the people closest to her when [Y/N] came into the picture. For once, it seemed as though Lara was finally at ease with someone other than herself. When Jonah or Sam would glance over at the two, it was hard not to mirror Lara’s contagious smile as she chatted away happily with [Y/N] about whatever came to mind.

Not once did Lara hold an ounce of resentment or irritation in her tone or eyes when she would gaze over at the younger woman. Instead, there was a sense of admiration, one in which seemed to bring out the best of her. In cases where she’d usually grow stubborn and aggressive toward whoever she was bickering with, [Y/N] was somehow able to extinguish even the smallest feelings of fury that might’ve sparked to life beneath her skin, always steering the conversation to something everyone could seemingly agree with before things escalated too far.

And over time, the effects [Y/N] had on Lara began to shift into her everyday way of looking at things. Where she’d once swipe everything off her desk and clutch handfuls of her hair in utter frustration, her head pounding from lack of sleep and confusion as to why she couldn’t figure something out, she’d instead take a moment to herself and focus on something else before moving back when she was ready. She found it helped her get things done much quicker, as well as prevent the high levels of stress she had grown used to, though she wasn’t entirely aware it was [Y/N] who had ultimately caused it.

Even when Lara wasn’t with her, doing so much as talking about [Y/N] was enough to lighten her mood. It was evident to anyone who even managed to glance over at the right time. Something had lifted her spirits with the mere mention of it, that much was obvious, though they never knew what. Although Lara didn’t visit Sam often, Jonah made sure to fill her in about every time the brunette would start rambling on and on about the other woman, much to Sam’s amusement. When Lara would visit here and there, she’d be gently teased about her “little crush,” in which she’d deny her feelings and try her best to change the subject.

Sam eased up on her taunting remarks after a while, but eventually asked Lara when she planned on asking [Y/N] out, her previously chipper tone suddenly serious. Again, Lara denied how she felt and shifted the topic before she made an excuse to leave. As she went to bed that night, however, she found herself pondering whether or not she had actually fallen for someone.

She didn’t get any sleep, too busy tossing and turning as she desperately tried to get the image of [Y/N] out of her mind. Each time she’d think about her kind smile, her comforting hugs, her cheerful and comforting demeanor, Lara would hide her face behind her hands or bury it in her pillow, groaning at the feeling of a burning warmth enveloping her skin.

After another night or so of this, she somehow found that she was able to fall asleep, although she had to hold one of her pillows to her chest. Unwillingly, she pictured it was [Y/N]’s sleeping form against her own. Her face burned with embarrassment the next morning when she discovered she had clutched onto the plush surface rather tightly throughout the night, and she hesitantly found herself shoving the pillow back up against the headboard. She scolded herself before forcing her weakened body out of bed to start her day.

There was no way she could possibly be in love with someone she had known for such a short amount of time.

Was there?

It took months for her to finally come to terms with her emotions enough to finally ask for advice, and since she was away on a trip without any way to talk to Sam, she confided in Jonah. As they pushed their way through the ground of the forest, hacking down loose branches and bushes that blocked the path with a makeshift machete, she not-so-casually admitted she might actually feel something for [Y/N]. She had expected him to be surprised in one way or another, but he quickly let her know she wasn’t great at hiding it.

Sheepish, she tried to brush it off and ignore the fact she ever brought it up, but Jonah insisted that he didn’t mind. He told her how relieving it was to see her so happy with someone–that she deserved to find someone special and spend time with them rather than constantly hiding away in her study to bury herself in research.

Even with a grumble rebutting the remark of essentially stowing herself away, Lara couldn’t deny that it felt nice caring so deeply for someone. She had cared for others before, sure: Jonah and Sam were like family to her at this point. But this felt different. It felt intimate and passionate in all the right ways.

Trudging their way up a hill to set up a base camp for the night, she and Jonah cautiously talked about ways to get Lara to confess, both too worried of crossing a boundary and upsetting the brunette. Jonah knew it was a touchy subject when it came to romance and settling down to start a family with her, but Lara was terrified of messing things up more than anything. She had finally found someone she loved like no other, and given that she had no prior relationship experience, the question of whether or not she would ruin things hung heavy in the back of her mind with every thought that flashed through.

Nothing else was mentioned about Lara’s feelings for the remainder of the journey, but once the two of them were seated in the plane headed back home, the testy topic was picked up again. Jonah had to keep reminding Lara that there was no reason to get defensive, that it was okay to be open about how she felt. It took nearly an hour, but she finally got it.

She had never had any kind of crush before–never understood why girls back in junior high and high school would gossip about the people they had their eyes on–she had no idea how to express how she felt. Although it was difficult, she knew she could trust Jonah, and she finally managed to talk about exactly how she felt.

Another few months had passed, and it had almost been a year by the time Lara was ready to confess how she felt to [Y/N]. Every time she thought of how long it had taken to muster up the courage, she felt ridiculous. It had taken her nearly a full year to realize how she felt and actually act on it. Normally, when she felt something strong bubbling up within her, she acted on it right away. Granted, those feelings were usually ones of annoyance at someone going against her wishes or determination to find an ancient ruin she had been studying for weeks.

Regardless, she scolded herself for being so cowardly, reminding herself that she’d need confidence if she were to ever get rid of the feeling of anxiety that stemmed from how she felt about the other woman–who seemed to increasingly plague more and more of her thoughts with every passing day.

At first, she thought she could go all out for her confession, wanting it to be special. She decided against that quickly, however, upon remembering something as simple as a location or a certain activity could be special on its own. She also cringed at the idea of a large event for something that could go wrong, though she hated the idea of a huge confession either way.

Yes, she wanted things to be special and go smoothly, but that didn’t mean other people had to be there to witness it. Whether or not it went well was nobody else’s business. Plus, the mere thought of being around other people made her anxious. The idea was discarded faster than it had even crossed her mind.

Finally, after getting different ideas from Sam and Jonah, Lara setup something small, invited [Y/N] to join her, and eventually managed to confess how she felt, unable to look the other woman in the eye as she awaited her response. Pure relief washed over her senses once [Y/N] voiced that her feelings were mutual. A short while later, Lara asked [Y/N] to be her girlfriend, to which she said yes as well.

Jonah was the first to congratulate Lara, given that he was essentially the wingman in the situation, and Sam was quick to tease her about what she planned to wear at the wedding. Lara brushed her off with a playful laugh each time, though she wouldn’t deny that she had already begun planning out the wedding anyway.

Somehow, each time anyone saw the two of them together, Lara always seemed to be in a cheerful mood, uncharacteristically lively and energetic. She was friendlier towards others, so long as she knew they weren’t making [Y/N] uncomfortable.

And just like before, when they hadn’t been dating, anyone with a set of working eyes was able to see the absolute admiration swelling up in Lara’s eyes whenever they’d land on [Y/N]. Her eyes never dimmed with disinterest or disgust, but rather lit up with love and genuine joy. Her fingers would often be seen laced with the other woman’s, allowing her to give a squeeze here and there, whether it be reassuring, teasing, or simply because she enjoyed being there with her. As they talked about anything and everything, [Y/N] would lean into Lara’s side, and in turn, Lara would rest her head atop the younger woman’s, still glancing down at her here and there just to see the face of the one she had fallen so deeply in love with.

The look in her eye only grew stronger as the years went on, and the two ultimately married, ready to settle down for good. During the vows, Lara spoke about how gleeful [Y/N] made her feel over the years, and Jonah and Sam couldn’t help but smile at each other in understanding. They had been there to witness the joy. They knew it wasn’t temporary.

Even when Lara and [Y/N] would argue, as most couples do, it never caused that gleam in Lara’s eye to falter. It grew and grew, all the way into their thirties, then forties, then fifties, and continued to grow until their eyes closed for the final time. Had anyone outside looked into their life, even the most cynical of onlookers couldn’t wholeheartedly deny how in love they were, nor could they ignore the admiration that had burrowed in and made itself at home in Lara’s gaze, there 'til the day she died.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Serenity

[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.12k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Touch starved Lara (?), feelings of homesickness, fear of death, mentions of mourning, brief descriptions of wounds

Categories:

Angst Fluff Mix

One-Shot Preference Headcanon

[A/N]: Wanted to try a bit of a different format for the summary, hope it makes sense.

Enjoy!

Harsh winds whipped past the shape of the land, bending around every mountain and down every ravine and valley like ribbon. Shivering harshly and clutching onto her heavy coat, Lara sighed, planting herself in front of the campfire she had set up. As the flames crackled to life and began to grow, she scooted closer, holding her hands out towards the blazing heat in an attempt to warm them. She huffed out hot air into her cupped palms before rubbing them together and shifting to hold them out again.

She repeated this motion a few more times before wriggling her fingers around a bit. Once she was sure they were warmed up enough, she slipped her journal out from her traveler’s pack and took her pen out. She flipped over to the next blank page, beginning to jot things down with stiff hands. It started with her summarizing all that had happened during the current expedition up until that point, but quickly shifted to her feelings of homesickness. It wasn’t the manor or her private apartment she was missing, however. She was missing the woman waiting for her back home.

A small smile of content formed on her lips at the mere thought of her.

“God, [Y/N], I wish you were…”

She shook her head as a chill ran down her spine, as if she was being reminded of the brutal conditions she was in. With a small struggle, she scribbled out the ending of the sentence before starting a new one.

“No, I wish I was there with you. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you. Especially how warm you are. It’s freezing out here, although I’m not sure what I was expecting. Even when we stayed by the hot springs for a bit, my hands were too frozen to do anything. Writing this right now is extremely difficult because we’re headed toward the peak of a mountain where the snow is really dense. The altitude levels are getting high, and it’s making some of the crew sick, so we had to set up camp in the meantime. Aside from Jonah, the crew here doesn’t really care for all of this. They’re either doing it for the media exposure or for the money. The majority of them have made it clear that they aren’t doing it for the sake of discovery. I do kind of wish you were here in all honesty. Jonah is interested in what we’re looking for, but it always takes some convincing with him. With you, you’re always on board immediately. And, according to the others, you share the same level of enthusiasm as me. I guess I never really noticed it.

“Which is honestly a bit of a surprise. I know I can get a bit…aggressive about these things, or obsessive. People tell me I start getting picky about things once I realize they don’t have the same interests and intentions as me. And Sam wonders why I don’t like hanging out with other people.”

She laughed softly to herself, skimming over her words before she continued writing.

“Except you, of course. I wish I could bring you along with me to these expeditions, but I’m just…worried Trinity is going to get to you somehow, and aside from Jonah, you’re the only one I have left. If they got ahold of you, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I’ve lost too many people already. I can’t lose you too.”

A small pause. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself during these trips anymore. Before she had met [Y/N], she had gotten used to sleeping alone and spending the majority of her time alone. She could go on journeys without worrying about returning home to someone. She didn’t want to die, that wasn’t what she was thinking of. She just didn’t feel guilty about trips taking longer than she initially planned. Deep down, though, she knew [Y/N] understood. Each time she’d make it home to her girlfriend, she was always greeted with relief and excitement rather than annoyance and resentment.

During the nights where she was alone on the expeditions, she could eventually get herself to fall asleep for short periods of time, pretending she was back home in bed with her girlfriend, cuddled up together under the blankets and sleeping in.

Another thing she had to readjust to was doing things solo. The only thing she tended to do on her own at the manor anymore was paperwork. [Y/N] would do everything with her there: researching, reading, cleaning, taking trips to different cities, and so on and so forth. She had grown so accustomed to that to where she found herself itching to talk to someone or move around at the campsites when she used to just sit there and think to herself.

She genuinely enjoyed the idea of having someone to come home to every time, but it still caused guilt when anything went wrong. There was a near-constant worry that her job was straining the relationship, regardless of what [Y/N] told her.

She had never been in a relationship before, so she really had no idea what to expect. It was stressful trying to learn how to open up to someone, but once she realized she could fully trust [Y/N], she found it much easier to start talking about her past.

Another sigh slipped past her lips, her gaze dropping down to the page of her journal again.

“I can’t wait to get home to you again. And honestly, I never thought I’d be able to say that. With how often I’m traveling, I figured I wouldn’t find someone who was willing to put up with my constant researching and preparing. I suppose I could take you on easier trips where I know Trinity won’t be. I could teach you how to go rock climbing and the basics of how to survive out in the wilderness.”

A sense of fondness washed over her, remembering how Roth would take her backpacking and traveling to random places so she could learn all of his tricks.

“If Roth were still here, I bet I could’ve convinced him to let you come with us to one of our training expeditions. He loved teaching all about journeying. He probably would’ve talked your ear off the way he did with me.”

Once more, a soft laugh escaped her.

“I’d honestly give anything to hear him lecture me about trusting my instinct again. You would’ve loved him. He was a good man.”

She studied her entry, repeatedly skimming over Roth’s name scribbled out in her shaky handwriting. 

“I wish you could’ve met him.”

She frowned at the memory of what happened in Yamatai, guilt beginning to bubble up to the surface again. She sighed, trying to shift her focus to something else.

“I can’t wait to get back home to you. I miss you. Hopefully I’ll be able to see you sooner rather than later. I already want to come back just so I can be with you again. I love you.”

Gently, she shut her journal and tucked it away again, dropping her pen in on top of it before zipping the bag shut. Once she placed the bag to her side, she shifted to turn back to the fire, which had grown to a decent size. Her unfocused gaze watched the flames in front of her dance wildly to the bitterly cold gusts of wind. Soon, as she waited for Jonah to call her over, her mind wandered off, her body shivering, aching, and craving to be in her warm, plush bed by [Y/N]’s side again.

The expedition finally came to an end. Unfortunately, it had taken an extra three days thanks to Trinity’s operation disrupting everything. Lara was returning home with another artifact, one which she planned to donate to a local museum instead of adding to her personal collection. She asked Jonah to drop the artifact off for her, her expression alone telling him all he needed to know. He agreed, knowing she just wanted to get home to [Y/N] again and rest. Once the plane landed and they disembarked with their luggage, Lara instantly found her car still parked in a private garage she had paid for ahead of time.

She hopped in instantly after tucking her small amount of luggage into the trunk, started the engine, and sped off toward her home. The majority of the drive there, she reflected on what had happened during the expedition. Although she had been in a warm environment for hours on the way back, she still felt chilled to the bone after swimming in glacial waters for hours on end. All she craved was to get home and warm all the way up so she could sleep comfortably, even though she knew the moment the numbness subsided, her joints would ache even more.

Once she finally arrived, she parked her car in her usual spot and headed inside, completely forgetting about the bags in the trunk. Her body felt like it would collapse any minute, so she was desperately trying to get inside and find [Y/N].

With a great deal of effort, straining the aching muscles in her arms and back, she shoved the main door open leading into the front parlor. Before any of the servants could lead her somewhere to get her injuries treated or get changed into warmer clothes, Lara made a beeline to the stairs leading up to the second floor of the main building. She wobbled down the hall to her bedroom door, weakly pushing it open with a small grunt of pain. She didn’t spot [Y/N] in the bedroom right away, so she checked the bathroom attached to it.

She wasn’t there either. Odd.

With a groan, she forced herself to trudge back out of the room and down the hall, planning to check the library next. And if she wasn’t there, she’d search the main study. Before she could make it to the doorway leading to the library, [Y/N] stepped out carrying a couple of books. When she spotted Lara, her face lit up, excitedly placing the books aside on a nearby console table and rushing over to the brunette. At the sight of [Y/N] heading her direction, a small surge of energy bolted through Lara’s senses. She beamed over at her and opened her arms, sighing in relief when the smaller woman leaned heavily into her embrace.

“Lara, you’re back! How was the trip? Find anything good?”

Lara grinned wider at her enthusiasm–a breath of fresh air to have someone show genuine interest in her own passion. “Yeah, we found an old artifact, but I told Jonah to just go donate it to the local museum. I don’t have much space left on the shelves in my study, and I don’t want to clutter our room with them.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, a small nod as her response as they remained in their embrace a moment longer.

At length, much to Lara’s dismay, [Y/N] leaned back. One hand dropped down to gently take hold of the brunette’s, and the other lifted to cup her cheek. At the feeling of warmth against her face, Lara leaned into the touch, her eyes shutting as she sighed. “C’mon,” [Y/N] started softly with a warm smile, “let’s get you patched up and changed. Then you can get some sleep.” Before she could try to refute, Lara yawned and nodded, wearily following the smaller woman’s lead as she carefully tugged her toward the bedroom again.

Once in there, she sat Lara down on the bed, retrieved the First Aid kit from the medical cabinet in the bathroom, and joined her on the mattress, which the brunette seemed to immediately sink into. She pulled out a damp rag she had also grabbed and began to dab cautiously at the scratches and cuts littered across Lara’s skin. When she began to apply the antiseptic, she earned a few hisses of pain, though they quickly died down with each passing second. All the while, Lara’s eyelids were growing heavier. She did her best to bite back her yawns, though most of them still snuck through.

After cleaning all of the visible marks, [Y/N] stitched up what she needed to, and applied bandages to what was left. She quickly packed the kit back up and stored it in the bathroom once more. Then, she helped Lara head into the bathroom and get undressed, helping her step into the bath when the warm water filled up enough. Once the brunette was situated and comfortable, [Y/N] took her hair down for her and began to rinse and lather it with the shampoo she had set up beforehand. Once her hair was clean, she then washed Lara’s back, shoulders, and mostly everything but her stomach, legs, and mostly whatever was underneath the water, which she let the Croft do on her own.

By the time Lara was clean and wrapped up in a towel after stepping out of the tub, [Y/N] left and came back in carrying a pair of clothes that had just been pulled out from the dryer. She gave the brunette a bit of privacy to get dressed. Lara hummed contentedly at the warm, soft fabric brushing across her skin: a pair of black fleece pants with a slightly oversized gray t-shirt.

She stood after tugging her clothes on. After folding the towel back up enough to hang on the rack on the wall, she flipped the lightswitch off and left the bathroom, finding [Y/N] standing by the bed with a tray in her hands. Curiously, Lara walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed with an eyebrow raised. Before she could question what it was, [Y/N] moved to hand the tray to her, revealing her favorite dish warmed up and placed nicely on a plate.

At the sight of it, she blinked, and soon looked back up at her girlfriend, who had moved to her own side of the bed. “Go ahead and eat. I wanted you to have something in your stomach so it doesn’t growl and wake you up like last time.”

With a pleased grin, Lara nodded and shifted up to her spot in bed to prop herself up against the headboard. She was quick to pick up her fork and dig into the dish, clearly grateful to have something prepared for her instead of needing to fix something for herself the way she had done the past few days in the wilderness. It saved her a lot of time and energy, all of which she could spend on recovering from the trip. Within minutes, the plate was clean and her cup was empty. She moved to get up and bring it to the kitchen downstairs, but [Y/N] was quick to stop her and take it from her hands. “Hey, no, go ahead and stay here, alright? I really just want you to relax for a while.”

Even if Lara had planned on refusing the help, it would’ve been no use, as [Y/N] was already by the door by the time she finished speaking. She quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Lara there to wait. She hadn’t even had a chance to nod. She sighed, shuffling downward to bundle up underneath the thick blankets layering her mattress and tugging them partially over her head. The moment her head made contact with her pillow, she groaned in relief, the plush surface welcoming her and pulling her into a partial slumber already.

She fought to stay awake a little longer, however, wanting to be cuddled up against [Y/N] as she slept so she could hear her heartbeat. Ever since the two had started sharing the bed, that’s how Lara fell asleep. It’s why going on long expeditions was so difficult sometimes–she had no heartbeat to listen to, no breathing she could hear but her own, and no warmth to lean into when she got a chill or had a strange dream that kept her eyes pried open in alarmed confusion. Another yawn pushed past her lips, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. Just as she was close to being lulled into sleep, the bedroom door creaked open again. [Y/N] stepped inside and turned the lights off, then headed over to the windows and closed all the heavy curtains, leaving a very dull light in the room.

She then crawled into her side of the bed, though she was quickly met with Lara scooting over and pressing her head against her chest, planting her ear directly over the girl’s sternum to hear the steady thumping of her heartbeat resting safely behind her ribs. A sigh of relief made its way from Lara. She wriggled over a bit, nuzzled her face further into the blankets, and finally settled for a position. With a small smile, [Y/N] rolled over just enough to wrap both of her arms around the brunette’s torso. She pulled her closer as softly as she could.

“Did you wanna talk about the trip?” She whispered softly. A bit of a delay, but Lara answered with a small shake of her head. “No,” she murmured almost inaudibly. “Maybe tomorrow.” [Y/N] nodded in response. She slid one of her arms over a bit, earning a groan of disapproval, though it was quickly replaced by an even fainter groan of pleasure once her fingernails began to gently rake through Lara’s brunette locks. [Y/N] repeated this motion for a while before changing to let her nails scratch soothingly at the sore muscles of the taller woman’s back. “Mmm, what about you?” Lara finally managed to slur out after a few minutes.

[Y/N] hummed, confused. “What about me?” She questioned quietly. Again, there was a pause before she got a response. “What about your day? Tell me…about your day.”

“Oh. Well, it wasn’t very eventful, to be honest. I just helped some of the maids and then read a few books. That’s why I was leaving the library when you made it in.”

“Mmh.”

Lara groaned and shuffled even closer. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. [Y/N] beamed down at her, pure adoration in her eyes. “I missed you too.” She pressed a kiss to the brunette’s forehead, to which Lara responded by scrunching up her nose and leaning her head forward, wordlessly asking for another one. The smaller woman complied after letting a gentle giggle slip in between breaths and pressed a longer kiss to Lara’s head, earning a small huff of satisfaction.

For a while longer, [Y/N] continued to talk about whatever came to mind. Lara wasn’t entirely listening, she just wanted to hear her voice, but [Y/N] already knew that. She didn’t mind. She could talk about seeing a bird on the window sill, and Lara would still find it calming solely because she could hear her speaking. She could hear the low rumbling and vibrations in her chest with every word spoken, and on top of the sound of her heartbeat, it was like the ultimate white noise for Lara.

She wasn’t entirely sure why it brought her so much comfort, but she certainly wasn’t complaining. It helped her fall asleep and stay asleep, which is something she struggled with for the longest time. Being able to get a proper night’s rest felt so refreshing.

Especially after having to be on high alert and sleep lightly for weeks on end during most of her journeys.

After a while, [Y/N] ran out of things to talk about. However, knowing that hearing her make noise was what helped Lara fall asleep, she opted to sing softly instead. An hour or so must’ve passed before Lara’s breathing deepened and slowed, evening out as her body signaled she was fully asleep. After finishing the song she had been practically humming at that point, [Y/N] stopped singing. When she fell silent, her own eyes beginning to droop from fatigue, Lara tugged her closer, unconsciously trying to find the source of the noise again. She settled after a moment when her hearing focused in on her heartbeat once more.

She mumbled something under her breath, though the blankets muffled most of it. The other half of the incoherent speech was caused by her lack of conscience. [Y/N] didn’t mind it though. Finally being able to hold Lara safely in her arms again after two and a half weeks was all she had been wanting. She glanced down at her, smiling tiredly and pressing a gentle kiss to her head again before yawning and closing her eyes.

Soon enough, she fell into a deep slumber as well.

The following morning, the sun crept in through the blinds, alerting everyone of its wake. Bright golden beams trailed their way into the bedroom, sneaking up the covers and making Lara suddenly aware of her surroundings again. She grumbled, calloused fingertips grasping at the hem of the comforter that had slipped from over her head and tugging upward, desperately trying to block out the warmth that stirred her awake. It had been years–until she met [Y/N], anyway–since she had been able to sleep in peacefully without the overwhelming worry of needing to constantly accomplish something. She wanted to stay asleep at least long enough to finish her dream.

For a moment, she smirked to herself, noticing just how soft she had gotten once her relationship had been established with the other woman. Had they never met, nor had they gotten as close as they did, she’d likely still be awake at this hour, buried away in her personal study with stacks of books and loose files strewn about.

With a sense of bitter hesitation, one in which she debated falling back into the dream she had been having just a moment prior–which thankfully wasn’t another nightmare keeping her awake–she let her weary eyes flutter open. A small shove downward let the covers fall free from over her head again, begrudgingly allowing the sunlight to caress her features in a more willing manner. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips once she was able to let her eyes adjust to the blazing beams of light dancing around with each small movement.

After a moment of gaining her bearings, she yawned, drowsily rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes as she shifted over to find [Y/N] still resting at her side. The corners of her lips perked up into a small smile of contentment at the sight. She hummed, shuffled up to let her head rest even in front of [Y/N]’s, and gazed over at her.

The light that had disturbed Lara of her rest now brought her a sense of peace. The warm glow of the amber streaks lighting up the room seemed to embrace every little mark across [Y/N]’s skin, highlighting each scar and stray freckle. Never before had she seemed so at ease in her slumber–or maybe Lara had been too focused on holding her close to have noticed. She noticed it now, though.

And she intended to savor every minute of it.

Moments passed, and her hands were itching to feel the softness of the woman’s skin. With a slight ounce of uncertainty, worried she might stir her awake, she finally lifted her hand from the spot on the mattress next to her and drove it up to let the backs of her fingers graze over [Y/N]’s cheek, huffing out a small sigh at the warmth as though she hadn’t been pressed tightly against her mere moments before.

Her fingers trailed up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind the sleeping woman’s ear, slowly and silently shuffling forward to press a featherlike kiss to her forehead. At the feeling of soft lips and touches against her skin, [Y/N] began to wake, her brows furrowing together momentarily in thought, as if she were stuck between her dreams and lucidity. Her features softened just as quickly as they tightened, followed by her eyes flitting open and instantaneously focusing on the smitten gaze in front of her. She hummed, grinning and letting her hand slide up to gently take hold of Lara’s. With a small squeeze to her lax hand, [Y/N] turned her head to press an equally soft kiss to her palm.

“Morning,” she murmured against her skin, letting her focus flicker back toward the deep brown eyes now somehow filled with even more love than before.

“Morning,” came her faint reply.

“Are you feeling better now that you’ve slept?” Lara grinned, nodding almost unnoticeably. She carefully slipped her hand from [Y/N]’s, then letting it trail down to the smaller woman’s hip. Once moving a bit closer, as well as shuffling back down further into the comforter, she wrapped both arms around [Y/N]’s waist, tugging her closer and letting her head fall against her chest. Once [Y/N]’s chin moved to rest atop the brunette’s head, Lara sighed, her eyes fluttering shut once more. “Yes, but if I’m being completely honest, my entire body is aching right now. So much happened before I got back.”

She chuckled, wincing to herself at the sudden jolt of pain that erupted from the nerves in the skin taut against her stomach. “I don’t know if I can physically get up yet. Or if I'll be able to at all today.”

A playful snicker sounded above her, prompting her to lift her head and look up at [Y/N]. “Are you sure that’s why? Or do you just want to stay in bed and cuddle like this for the day?” Lara rolled her eyes with a smirk of her own. “I’m telling you: every single muscle in my body is painfully sore. I could get up if I absolutely needed to, but I don’t, so I’d really just prefer to stay here.”

With a moment in between the playful banter, Lara dropped her head back against [Y/N]’s chest. She waited, pondering what she wanted to say as her nails gently scratched at the soft fabric of the shirt she leaned against, sighing silently at the feeling of the motion being reciprocated in a far more soothing way. As she focused on [Y/N] tracing random shapes and words against her scarred skin, subconsciously wondering if she could make out anything specific if she focused, she closed her eyes.

“But even if I somehow wasn’t sore like I am now, I’d absolutely want to stay like this for the day. I missed you,” although her voice had already started off gentle, her tone only seemed to drift further into silence. Whether it stemmed from sheepishness or fatigue, [Y/N] didn’t know. She didn’t mind it, however, and instead pulled her closer. “I missed you too. So very much.”

She paused, one of her hands stroking the brunette strands sprawled out on the mattress behind Lara as her brow creased in thought. “I do worry about you though,” she admitted after what felt like hours, not sure if Lara was still even awake at the moment or if she had heard her. She had, however, and was quick to gaze back up at her, partially hidden way beneath the comforter. Her eyes, which had just been staring at her with a mix of blissful fatigue and love, were now a concoction of bleary concern and confusion. “Why?”

“Because sometimes I worry that something is going to happen to you while you’re away, and I’m never going to know. I mean, I know you won’t go down without a fight, but I’m still terrified that there will be a day where I see you alive for the last time. That thought alone plagues my mind every single time you leave, and it just…scares me?” She scoffed. “No, it’s so much more than just feeling scared. I’m terrified beyond belief that a thought like that could somehow become a reality.”

She hadn’t realized she had begun rambling until Lara shifted up to be eye-level with her again, a far more serious expression taking over. With her features creased with concern, Lara cupped [Y/N]’s face, the pads of her thumbs stroking away the tears that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. When had she started crying?

“I promise you I’m never going to let that happen, alright? There’ve been so many times I shouldn’t have been able to survive, but I did. Like you said: I won’t go down without a fight. And now that I have you here, I have all the more reason to fight to stay alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of never coming home to you. Just…don’t ever worry about me not coming home, okay? One way or another, I’ll find a way to get back to you.”

Her tone softened with every passing word, her heart and mind filling with relief upon seeing a gentle smile grace [Y/N]’s lips. She returned her grin and leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. “Even if it means I have to admit to Jonah that I’m wrong,” she added with a fake annoyance and a small roll of her eyes. [Y/N] couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, allowing Lara to finally let out a small sigh of solace.

“I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything,” she reassured, trading roles and pulling [Y/N] into her chest instead. “Not for an artifact, not for a trip to some uncharted land, not for my studies, not for anything. I know I may not be the best at showing it, but I truly love you, [Y/N]. I promise you that I’ll always find my way back to you.”

At her reassurance, [Y/N] nuzzled closer to focus in on her heartbeat, unable to bite back the wide smile that stretched across her lips. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Her words were true, she just wished she could find a way to prove it to her every day. Regardless of how invested she could get in her studies or research for her next expedition somewhere far away, she wouldn’t trade these moments of serenity for the world. She treasured them far more than any artifact she had discovered, and would do anything to ensure more of those memories could be made. Not even the strongest forces out there would stop her from returning to the one person she could call home, and she vowed, one way or another, to make sure it stayed that way for good.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Apologize

[Until Dawn] Samantha Giddings x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.04k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: An argument, but nothing really specific

[A/N]: This one's really short compared to the others, but it's because that's what my intention was. I didn't want to stress out over this one, so I gave myself a really low goal of 2k words. It was fun to write this. Hope you'll enjoy. Not sure who I'll write for next. At the moment, I only have six more characters I want to write for.

Enjoy!

 It was extremely hard for Sam to get angry at someone, let alone get into an actual argument. She tended to be the level-headed one in her friend group, never one to willingly indulge in drama. Very rarely did she raise her voice in a non-joking manner, so when she did, the people around her she was close to got very uncomfortable. Not necessarily because she was threatening, but because it was so unlike her. Fortunately, her girlfriend was the same way. The two of them hardly ever got into an argument that wasn’t playful.

So when one broke out one night, both of them grew uncomfortable. They got defensive, with Sam trying to steer the conversation in another direction, and [Y/N] trying to just agree to disagree. Neither one of them really remembered how the argument started, but they both knew it wasn’t going anywhere.

Another thing that was uncommon for the two women was for them to say something hateful toward anyone, even if they felt threatened. During the entirety of their relationship, which was running strong for over three years, no one in their shared friend group had ever witnessed them fight with each other. Out of all of them, she and [Y/N] were usually the ones who stayed calm and tried to compromise and keep the peace. And when anyone needed to talk something through with a trusted friend, she and [Y/N] were the go-tos.

Somewhere in the middle of the argument, one of them had slightly raised their voice, which in turn prompted the other to do the same. This continued until they were almost yelling at each other, something they had never done to one another. It was causing a great deal of stress on them both. They couldn’t seem to find a way to fix whatever had begun the whole ordeal.

As they grew louder, Sam shouted something of ill-intent toward [Y/N] in the heat of the moment, wanting to just be done with the argument. In response, [Y/N] threw back a similarly hateful retort, claiming she wished they had never started dating. She didn’t mean to say it–neither of them meant to say any of it–it all just spilled out before they could stop it.

Sam froze at her words, grimacing as she fought back the tears pricking her eyes. She sniffled and took a breath to prevent her voice from breaking.

“If that’s how you feel, then…”

She paused, trying to calm herself down and think things through. After a moment, she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“I’ll give you some space. We both need to calm down before we even try to talk this through.”

[Y/N] huffed. Usually, she’d agree without hesitation. Because of her hurt feelings, however, she was hesitant to do so. Instead, she turned on her heel and stormed into the kitchen, then the pantry. There, she grabbed her car keys and left through the front door, passing Sam on her way out. She slammed the door behind her, and she instantly regretted doing so, but she couldn’t take it back. Not once in her relationship with Sam had an argument gotten this bad. The two of them had never said dating was a mistake, nor had they thrown nasty comments at each other out of frustration.

Sam didn’t know how to deal with the situation quite yet, and neither did [Y/N]. Silently, [Y/N] agreed with Sam about giving each other space before working things out.

She hopped into her car and switched the engine on, pulling out of the driveway and speeding down the road. Once she came to a red light, she popped a CD in and cranked the music up, wanting to drown out her hateful thoughts.

As she drove off to who knows where, Sam remained in the living room of their shared home. She plopped herself back down onto the sofa cushions and sighed, burying her face in her hands as she replayed the entire conversation over and over again in her mind. Each time she recalled the words she spoke, or rather hollered, she flinched, wanting nothing more than to take them back.

There was no excuse for what she said. She didn’t even really remember why things had gotten so aggressive.

As she sat there, counting the hours while she waited for [Y/N] to come home, her guilt began to grow even further. She promised herself she’d sit down and talk things out once they were together again.

Whenever that may be.

She should’ve stopped [Y/N] from leaving.

She should’ve asked her to sit down with her, or at least stay home.

She should’ve kept her cool and ended the argument before it began.

And all the while, as her guilt ate away at her conscience, [Y/N] was battling with her own mind nearly halfway across town.

How could she have said something so cruel? Sam didn’t deserve that at all. She had no right to be that crude towards her. She had been trying to change the subject, but [Y/N], for some reason she couldn’t figure out, refused to give in. Instead, she wanted to just “agree to disagree,” even though she knew that wouldn’t have ended very well. She and Sam were both very stubborn about their personal beliefs, meaning they’d struggle with that concept.

She knew that, and yet she continued to press on the matter.

She knew that, and yet she still blurted out that the relationship was a mistake.

She knew that, and yet she still stormed out of the house like a child.

With a heavy sigh of defeat, [Y/N] turned the car around and started her journey back to the house. One way or another, she’d find a way to work things out with Sam, even if it took all night.

By the time she made it back, it was well past midnight. Had she not known Sam well enough, she’d assume the blonde would be tucked away under the covers in their shared bed, sound asleep. However, she had known her all her life. She knew her thoughts, tendencies, insecurities, everything. And Sam was the same–they knew each other inside and out, which is what usually prevented these things from happening.

It was no surprise to [Y/N] when she unlocked the door and pushed it open to reveal Sam still sitting there on the couch. She glanced up from her spot on the cushions, a look of pure relief washing over her features. The blonde stood, stepping over to stand in front of [Y/N] once the door was shut and locked behind her. “Thank god you’re okay,” Sam whispered, lifting her hands to cup the smaller girl’s face and press their foreheads together. [Y/N] made no move to lean away from her touch, but rather leaned into her hands.

Her eyes shut softly when her head made contact with Sam’s, a small sigh of solace slipping past her lips. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry I worried you.” The blonde smiled and hummed, letting her hands slide down [Y/N]’s arms to gently take hold of her hands. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re okay, and that’s all that matters.”

They stayed there for a moment, standing together under the dim light above the entryway to the den. Finally, Sam led her over to the couch and sat her down, joining her immediately after.

“I’m just gonna get right to the point. I’m really sorry I said what I did. I had no right to talk about you like that. I’m sorry, I really am,” Sam started, squeezing her hands in her own.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry too,” [Y/N] replied just as quietly. “The fact I said our relationship was a mistake was disgusting. I didn’t mean a word of what I said, I swear. I just…I was hurt, and panicking, and I just wanted to say something to defend myself in the moment. I shouldn’t have said that though.”

Sam grinned, her thumb caressing the back of [Y/N]’s hand soothingly before bringing it up to press a kiss to her knuckles. “I forgive you,” she mumbled against her skin. “Could we both promise not to do that again though? I think that’s the most stress I’ve ever felt in our entire relationship.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, bringing another genuine smile to her lips. “Yeah, I’d love to make that promise. Nearly cried my whole way home because I felt so bad about what happened.”

With a featherlike touch, Sam pulled [Y/N] into a hug, tucking her face against the crook of her neck and relaxing at the familiar scent of the girl’s shampoo and perfume. Her eyes fluttered shut, a silent sigh slipping through her lips, still perked up in a smile.

“I love you so much,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” came [Y/N]’s reply.

A moment passed, one far more comfortable than the situation from a few hours prior, and the two held onto each other as they swayed side to side. Finally, much to her embarrassment, a low rumble sounded from [Y/N]’s stomach, drawing both of their attention away. Sam leaned back and laughed gently. “Should we order something?” She questioned, already reaching for her phone laying face down on the coffee table.

[Y/N] nodded, laughing along with her. “Yeah. I was too worried during the entire drive to worry about eating, so…I guess it’s better late than never, right?” Sam smirked and nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. I’m in the same boat anyway. What sounds good? Not sure what’s open, but I’m sure we can find something good.”

[Y/N] beamed up at her, already feeling the previously thick tension dissolving at a rapid pace.

Sam picked up her phone after [Y/N] mentioned a few possible choices, clicking onto Google and scrolling through the open restaurants to find something that would satisfy both of their appetites. Eventually, they settled on something fairly cheap nearby, ordering said meal and setting everything up while they waited.

While [Y/N] stayed downstairs to pick something to watch on the TV, as well as gathering nearby blankets, Sam headed upstairs to their spare closet and picked out a few of the fluffiest pillows and blankets she could find. She trailed back downstairs, and the two of them bundled up together underneath their small fort of comfort. They were able to watch a decent amount of what [Y/N] had chosen to play on the screen before their order arrived.

Reluctantly, Sam left the comfort of all of the plush covers and pillows, already missing the warmth of [Y/N] by the time she made it to the door to pay the driver and take the order. Once everything was settled with the deliverer, Sam sauntered back over to the couch. She handed [Y/N] her order, including her drink, then managed to wriggle her way back into her previous spot before diving into her own dish.

As the two downed their food and rinsed it down with their drinks, they leaned further and further against each other. By the time they finished their meal and put the plastic containers and cutlery aside, [Y/N] was resting on top of Sam, both of them still buried underneath layers of their collection of blankets. Her head ended up planting itself atop the blonde’s chest, allowing her to listen to her heartbeat with ease.

Soft, delicate fingers raked their way through [Y/N]’s locks before a small kiss was pressed to her head. She glanced up curiously, only to find Sam beaming back down at her with a look of pure admiration. Her smile was returned just as warmly.

A moment or so passed before [Y/N] turned her head back to face the screen again. Her eyes began to flutter shut as Sam continued to stroke her hair. She fought to keep herself awake, but finally gave in when Sam mumbled a soft, “I love you,” and pressed another kiss to her head, lulling her deeper into slumber with ease.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

You Don't Wanna Know

[Until Dawn] Samantha Giddings x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.52k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Sam quite literally falls into insanity, mentions of blood, stabbing, knives, language (?), OOC Sam

[A/N]: This was fun to write, ngl, but I also wrote the whole thing fairly quickly in one sitting, so I apologize if it's kind of hard to read. I did read back over it, but I was sleep deprived, so there are probably mistakes.

Enjoy!

Blade in hand, Sam trembled, readying herself to strike the moment the creature lurking in front of her charged. She steadied her breath, her hazel eyes shooting toward Mike. She gave a subtle nod, a signal that he needed to ready himself for when they both took off running. With another puff of air to steel her nerves, Sam lifted her leg and slammed it down, her foot stamping the cold, cracking cement beneath her, echoing throughout the vacant room. A screech rang out unlike anything she or Mike had ever heard. The Wendigo that had been desperately trying to find the two in the room lunged forward toward the blonde. She timed her movements, ducking down when it came too close and managing to hook her arm around its inhumanely thin bicep. Willing her strength into the right spot, she shifted her weight and forced the Wendigo backward with a twist of her body, essentially throwing it to spiral toward the ground behind her.

“Mike, run!” She hollered, briefly glancing back to make sure he did so before her attention returned to the creature now scrambling to get back to its feet. Once regaining its bearings and balance, the Wendigo thrusted itself in Sam’s direction once again. Sam gripped the handle of her knife even tighter and made sure to angle herself to strike. The moment it came towering over her, Sam propelled the blade forward, listening with a grimace as it tore through the skin and thin muscle of the beast’s chest. It staggered backward, unfazed as the sharp steel was pulled out from its cavity, and quickly ran closer yet again, somehow unbothered by the gaping wound now pouring blood by the heart.

Upon seeing that the Wendigo wasn’t going down, Sam panicked, wondering how she could permanently keep it pinned. She couldn’t die here–she had someone she had to get back home to. She needed to be there for her, and she needed to be there for her friends, who had all likely made it back to the lodge and were needing a plan. If she could figure out how to kill these things, she could help the group defend themselves as well.

How could she kill this thing?

How the hell could she kill this thing?

Maybe she couldn’t kill it, but there had to be a way to hold it off long enough to get away.

She studied it as urgently as she could, barely coming up with a half-batched plan as it closed the distance between them. Her hands trembled, and she internally screamed at them to still. As the long, bony fingers of the Wendigo’s hand grasped Sam’s arm, she yelled out, jabbing the beast’s jugular as violently as she could and shoving it backwards. Still gripping her arm, the Wendigo yanked her to the ground as it fell onto its back. Before it could get the upper hand again, Sam shuffled up and gripped the handle with both hands. Planting both knees on either side of the creature’s torso, she dug the knife in further with all the force she could muster, yanking it sideways and slicing the thin muscle of the throat, trying her best to decapitate it. She made it about halfway to the nape of its neck before it screamed out louder in agony, instinctively picking her up and hurling her away in defense.

With a loud howl of pain, Sam slammed against the floor, skidding across the concrete and rolling away for a moment. She hissed as she propped herself up on her elbows, nails digging into her scalp as she tried to clear her vision. Tugging her hand away, she found blood now drizzling down from her fingertips, spilling out and wrapping around her digits like ribbon until it pooled across her palm and the backs of her knuckles. Almost entranced by the way it moved, she wriggled her fingers before clenching them together to form a fist.

The scars on the sides of her hands burst open at the sudden tensing, spilling out into more rivers that joined the staining streaks already there.

Then, upon hearing the echoey gurgling from her attacker, now several feet away, Sam’s head shot up. Her head throbbed harsher at the sudden motion, but she still managed to gain her bearings and assess what was happening ahead of her. The Wendigo, letting out scratchy, broken whines as blood oozed down its form onto the floor, shook and clawed at the skin now torn open on the side of its throat. Aside from the groan when she had been thrown, Sam hadn’t made any noise, meaning the beast ahead had no way of knowing where exactly she was.

She took this as her opportunity, noticing that the Wendigo was struggling to even stumble around, clutching at its throat and letting out another shrill wail. As soon as it collapsed to the floor, Sam turned and slipped against the concrete as she took off toward the direction Mike had gone, wrestling against the urge to look back. Against her better judgment, she clutched the bloodied knife toward her chest, praying she didn’t have to use it again.

A safe distance away, Sam called out for Mike.

Months after Sam and the others had left the lodge, they finally finished giving their statements to the investigators on the case. As far as she knew, everyone other than Josh had survived, though none of them had talked since they were picked up by the rescue helicopter. Sam had refused help from any of the counselors the police had recommended, not wanting to live through the horrors she had witnessed down in the mines all over again.

Instead, she focused on returning home to her girlfriend, who had no idea of what had been going on the entirety of the time she was gone. She had promised to only be gone for half a week at most, but after all of the interviewing, it had been well over three months. The officers on the case let her make a call to [Y/N] so she could explain the situation, but Sam had kept the details very minimal. The last thing she had wanted was to upset [Y/N] even further. And to her relief, the majority of the details hadn’t been released to the public yet, considering they hadn’t gone down to discover the monsters themselves.

Even when they went down to seek them out, Sam knew most of them wouldn’t survive.

Finally, after an excruciatingly long ride home, Sam had made it. She was quick to stumble up to the front door and let herself in, making a beeline to her shared bedroom with the one she was looking for. Before she got upstairs, however, she snuck into the garage and placed something down, then heading back inside. Briefly, she caught a glance of her reflection in one of the mirrors hung on the wall. She noticed the scar leading from her forehead up past her hairline had started to slowly heal, the one she had earned from her first full battle against a Wendigo. Her hand trailed up to gently let her fingertips graze alone the rough tissue, tracing the shape as she hummed.

For a moment, she considered splitting the scar back open, desperate to relive the thrilling moment she had suffered through down in the mines. She ultimately decided against it, figuring it wouldn’t make a difference. The scars would all still be there, even after they healed. She huffed out a small sigh and started toward the stairs again, finding herself standing in front of the bedroom door for a moment before nudging it open.

Normally, when Sam and [Y/N] saw each other again after being separated for an extended period of time, they’d hug one another tightly and spend the entire day together. Despite this routine, when they finally saw each other then, all Sam could do was wobble forward onto the bed before pulling the smaller girl into her chest. “Sam? Holy shit, you’re back,” [Y/N] whispered, sighing in relief as she tugged the blonde closer and turned her head to listen to her heartbeat. “I was so worried.” Sam grinned at her words, silently stroking her hair for a moment before she gave a response.

“Ah, no need for that. Things just got weird.”

In the back of her mind, Sam knew that “weird” was a severe understatement. However, she had no idea how to put what she had seen into words. She managed to dryly answer [Y/N]’s rapid questions for a bit longer, but ultimately fell asleep in the middle of the one-sided conversation, the exhaustion from the whole ordeal finally kicking in.

Days passed, and it was clear right away that Sam had changed. Instead of being the openly kind, considerate woman [Y/N] had grown to love over the years, she had become cold and distant, growing increasingly defensive and aggressive when anything was mentioned about her trip. How could she have grown hypervigilant over a trip with friends? She wouldn’t open up about anything, no matter what [Y/N] tried. She eventually shrugged it off, however, assuming it was just exhaustion and stress from whatever had taken place while she was gone.

She made it her goal to help Sam relax again. She’d cook her meals, get her clothes and everything ready when she’d shower, let her latch onto her when she would occasionally sleep in, and would practically baby her in some aspects, watching her like a hawk to make sure she didn’t collapse or grow visibly sick from whatever thought might’ve crossed her mind. This lasted quite a while. [Y/N] had been hoping Sam would finally start opening up after some time if she was just given the support and space she needed, though that moment never came.

Desperate, she had even researched possible ways to work through whatever was swarming through Sam’s mind. She reached out to a few licensed therapists here and there, but they weren’t able to do much since Sam wouldn’t cooperate with any of their questions. Nothing seemed to work. She just wanted the woman she fell in love with to come back to her.

As painful as it was to see her lover and best friend slipping away and becoming someone new, [Y/N] eventually respected her wishes and let her be, gradually halting her questions about the trip to the lodge. She couldn’t get into contact with anyone else from the friend group either–and she wondered if it was for the same reason that was causing Sam to treat her so differently as well. She hoped they wouldn’t all shut everyone else out the way the blonde was already doing to her.

The days would all go by the same way: [Y/N] would get up early when Sam would finally let go of her, fix breakfast for the two of them, eat alone in the kitchen, and head out for the day, usually catching a glimpse of Sam sauntering downstairs and sitting down at the table to finally eat. It was like she was running on a survival schedule. She’d only eat and sleep when she absolutely needed to. Anytime she tried to take a nap, she’d end up springing up from the cushions in a cold sweat, always out of breath. It didn’t take long for her to stop trying to rest throughout the day.

During those times, when she wasn’t able to sleep, she’d tap at the scar adoring her forehead then bring her hand back down, picturing the way the waves of her blood had danced against her skin months prior. She’d find herself staring at her palm for hours, losing track of time. It was hard for her to remember to eat when this happened, so she had to be reminded.

[Y/N] would text her at lunch, checking up on her, and hardly ever got a response. She’d carry out the rest of her shift for the day, then head home, always finding Sam blacked out on the sofa in the den or in their shared bedroom, struggling to stay asleep for more than a few minutes. She’d never greet [Y/N] anymore, but she would still make some kind of motion to let her know that she acknowledged her coming back into the house: a small hum, a little nod, or just a simple glance in her direction. Not once did she utter anything.

Then, to end the evening, [Y/N] would prepare dinner or order takeout. To her surprise, Sam would actually sit and eat with her most nights, though she never made conversation.

The two would then trudge up to bed once they finished cleaning up, shower and get changed into their nightwear, and then collapse into a deep slumber the moment they made it under the covers. This repeated for days, which shifted into weeks, and then shifted into months. As the time passed, Sam seemed to get a little less aggressive, though she was still relatively mute. One night, Sam got a call as they sat in the living room, picking at their fast food and watching something random on the TV. She seemed to grow relieved at whatever the caller had told her.

When [Y/N] asked what it was about, Sam simply pocketed her phone and shook her head, returning to her meal. “You don’t wanna know.”

[Y/N] frowned at this, but gave up instantly, forcing herself to push through her sudden nausea and finish her dish. As she took her last bite, she glanced over at Sam, who had put hers down on the coffee table and began to stare blankly at the wall across the room. With a small sigh, [Y/N] stood and picked up both plates, carrying them over to the kitchen to toss the remaining food and rinse off the forks and plates.

As she turned to slide the rack of the dishwasher open, [Y/N] blinked and froze upon seeing Sam wander out into the garage.

The blonde made sure to shut and lock the door behind her once inside the large space, her socks coming into contact with the chilled stone beneath her and hardly doing anything to keep her feet warm. She didn’t mind it though. Instead, she ignored the chill that shot up her spine and waltzed to a loose panel being pressed into place behind the multiple boxes she and [Y/N] had piled up for storage.

She lifted a few boxes, sliding them across the ground after moving them behind her, then wriggling the loose wooden plank from the wall and propping it up against a few heavier boxes a few feet away. Her hand reached inside the dark opening now revealed to her, not flinching so much as once at the feeling of cobwebs grazing her skin and entangling themselves around her fingers. She rummaged around momentarily, but cracked a small smirk upon feeling the thin plastic top of the bag she was searching for.

With a quick tug, she lifted the bag up and towards her chest, lazily moving the panel back into place before turning around and retracing her steps to the door leading back into the house. She flicked her wrist and unlocked the door with ease, pulling the door open and letting herself inside. Barely closing the door behind her, she casually walked into the kitchen, planning to stroll straight past [Y/N] without being noticed.

She was noticed, though. It wasn’t just her presence that was acknowledged.

Instantly, [Y/N]’s eyes trailed down and landed directly on the bag pressed tightly against Sam’s chest. She bristled at the sight of the rusted knife in the bag, coated in dried, flaking blood. Her gaze shot back up to Sam’s, who was now staring blankly at her.

“Sam?” She started cautiously. The blonde had no reply, only blinking at the sound of her name. “What is that?” Still, she was met with a deafening silence.

Finally, fed up with the lack of responses over the months, remembering each time Sam avoided the subject of the lodge, [Y/N] stepped forward and feigned her best look of strength. A newfound sense of anger bubbled up underneath her skin and up her throat. The questions began spilling from her lips before she could stop them. “Sam, what the hell is that? Why do you have it? Has that been here this whole time? Is that from the lodge? Did you fucking kill someone?”

For the first time since she made it home, Sam smiled, though it sent a chill down [Y/N]’s spine. The blonde’s grin only widened as she stepped forward. A sound mimicking a chuckle erupted from her throat, more of a low, broken rumble. She shook her head and lowered her tone as she spoke, adding onto the signs that were triggering alarm bells in [Y/N]’s head. She got her answer, even as Sam gave an indirect one.

“You don’t wanna know.”

She brushed past the trembling girl, calmly heading upstairs and into her office down the hall from the bedroom. There, she found the stand she had purchased shortly after making it home. Her fingers traced the lines of the bag still in her hands, toying with the corners before tugging it open. With a sickening smile, she slid the knife out at a painfully slow speed, marveling at the way the light overhead made the browning blood staining the rusted steel glisten.

A hum of admiration slipped from her lips as she dropped the bag by her feet, lifting the knife up higher to get a better view. With a gentle motion, she lowered it to rest on the wooden stand in front of her. Her feet led her backward enough for her to get a better view.

From the corner of her eye, she could see [Y/N] peering in from the doorway, beads of sweat trickling down her face and neck. Sam beamed at her, motioning for her to come in and stand next to her. Afraid of what would happen if she refused, [Y/N] did as told, hesitantly planting herself beside the blonde, whose hazel eyes were trained on her form. Finally, Sam waved her arm forward, motioning toward the knife.

“You sure you want to know what this is?”

With a loud swallow, [Y/N] nodded. “This is the knife that I used to save myself back at the lodge. I slit open a Wendigo’s throat to survive. Thought I’d keep it as a kind of token of sorts. Anytime I start to feel unsure about something, I can look to this as a source of motivation. It saved me once, it can save me again.”

[Y/N] could only stare ahead, her mind spinning as she struggled not to faint. What was a Wendigo? How would this knife be a token of motivation? How was Sam so disgustingly calm about murdering something? That wasn’t like her at all. She hated seeing the smallest of animals being hurt–how could she just murder one? Was this even the same Sam that she had been waiting for back when she was at the lodge to meet up with her friends? Who was the woman standing by her side?

She had so many questions–too many questions–and she wasn’t sure if she would ever get answers to any of them. Or even if she wanted to.

Finally, she tore her eyes away from the source of her spiking nausea to look up at Sam. Her blood ran cold when she turned to find the blonde staring down at her already, something in her eyes confirming [Y/N]’s fear that she had changed. That stomach-churning smile still painted her lips, though now it seemed far more menacing. A hand slid down to clasp [Y/N]’s, making her yelp and jump at the contact.

She glanced down to find Sam now interlocking their fingers, then back up to find the smile gone.

“What’s wrong, [Y/N]?” Sam questioned, her tone flat and devoid of any emotion.

She leaned down, now uncomfortably close to the smaller girl’s face, seemingly staring dead into her soul. She cocked her head to the side, almost in a mocking motion. “Did you not want to hear about this after all? I sure hope that’s not the case. It’d be a shame. After all, I’m trusting you to keep this little prize of mine between us, and only us. Will you do that for me?”

[Y/N] couldn’t speak, terrified of saying the wrong thing. She screamed at her mind to say something, anything at all. All she could do, however, was stare. She gave a small, almost unnoticeable nod after a torturous string of silence. One in which Sam only stared, unblinking, into her eyes.

Finally, Sam’s lips split into a grin again. It didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Good. Let’s see just how long you can keep that promise.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Here For You

[Until Dawn] Samantha Giddings x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of war, PTSD, death, strong language

[A/N]: I haven't seen many stories for Sam with a female reader, so I figured I could add on to what already exists! For context: I do struggle with PTSD myself, so I know some of the effects, but mine isn't from war, meaning I'm not sure how accurate my representation of it is in this story. Also, this was written on 11-22-2022, so it's been a while since I've read over this.

Enjoy!

“Shit. I don’t know, Mike. We just got back from war for god’s sake! I don’t want to add on to her worries. Maybe I shouldn’t do this after all,” Sam ranted over the phone, her grip tightening on the steering wheel as her anxiety skyrocketed. Mike sighed on the other side. “Sam, buddy, you’ve gotta calm down. I’m sure she feels the same way. Sure, I’ve never met her, but you talk about her so much, and it seems like she’ll feel the same way. And even if she doesn’t, I can promise you it won’t add on to her worries. Just go for it! You’ll feel better if you get it done. I don’t want you to regret not asking her out.”

As she came to a red light, Sam eased on the brake to bring her car to a stop. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before running her fingers through her loose strands of hair. Her hazel eyes flickered around in front of her, seemingly staring at nothing as her mind raced. At length, she let out another sigh and shut her eyes tight. “You’re right. You’re right, okay? I’ll do it–I’ll tell her how I feel.” Her friend chuckled. “Good.” Sam smiled for a moment, but it quickly faltered before dropping. “Ugh, but what if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if I make her uncomfortable, and she doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” Mike groaned. Sam could hear him scratching hard at his head.

“Sam, I can’t tell you what she’ll say when you confess, but it doesn’t seem like she’d be the type to stop hanging out with you over something like this. Not from how you’ve described her, anyway. Just…when the time seems right, tell her how you feel. Let her know what you love about her–specific things–and then tell her that you love her entirely.” “Yeah, but what if–” “You’re an incredible woman, Sam. I don’t see why she wouldn’t share your feelings. And hey, I thought you were supposed to be the calm, level headed one. I’ve never seen you get this anxious over something before. Not when you were applying to college. Not even when you enlisted for the army and got shipped off to war! You’re tough, Sam. You’ve gotta get your nerves under control so you don’t blow this.”

Sam rolled her eyes at his “level headed” comment, though she couldn’t bite back her smirk. She was so grateful for Mike–he truly was like an older brother to her. “Yeah yeah, okay. I’ll calm down before I say anything. Thank you, Mike.” “No problemo. Let me know how it goes afterwards, alright? I wanna have proof that I’m the ultimate wingman.” The blonde laughed softly and glanced up at the streetlight as it turned green. She eased her foot onto the accelerator and began driving forwards again. “Will do. Bye, Mike.” “Bye.”

Sam continued driving after turning her phone off and gently tossing it into her passenger seat. She sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to steel her nerves. “It’ll be alright. [Y/N] likes you. Maybe not the way you like her, but she still likes you. She won’t stop hanging out with you just because she might not feel the same way–just like Mike said. Just…calm down. You just got back from a war. So has [Y/N]. It’s not like this will be the most terrifying thing you ever have to do.” She managed to calm herself momentarily, but as she rounded the corner that led to the cafe she had agreed to meet [Y/N] at, her anxiety spiked. It was hard not to give in to her overwhelming thoughts.

Once she pulled to the side of the road and stepped out of her car, first grabbing her phone from the seat beside her, she clicked on [Y/N]’s contact and sent her a quick message to let her know she had made it. She went inside just as her phone buzzed in her hand. ‘I know. I’m across the room from you, silly.’ Sam looked up from her phone to find the [h/c] girl standing in line at the register, smiling and waving at her. The blonde grinned nervously and waved back before joining her in line. They hugged each other tightly, so relieved to see each other again.

When the war had gotten worse and they were sent to fight in it, they were shipped off to separate locations without any contact. It drove them insane not being able to know if the other was okay. Finally, after they were sent home, they immediately called each other and were relieved to hear each other’s voice. Knowing that they were both okay allowed them to finally get the rest they desperately needed. After sleeping for about a day and a half, Sam asked [Y/N] if she’d want to meet up so they could talk. The [h/c] girl agreed instantly, and they chose to go to the cafe closest to where they lived. For Sam, it was only an eight minute drive. For [Y/N], however, it took twenty.

Sam figured the girl had left much earlier than she needed to so she wouldn’t be late. She couldn’t have arrived much sooner than she had. She smiled and sighed, finally stepping back from the embrace to look [Y/N] in the eyes. Oh, those beautiful [e/c] eyes. So captivating and gentle. She always found herself getting lost in a trance as she stared into them. All those late nights in their shared bunk, talking about plans for upcoming missions, gossipping about their fellow soldiers, softly whispering kind words and risque secrets. She cherished those nights.

Those nights were partly the reason she fell so hard for the girl so quickly.

“Sam? You’re doing it again,” [Y/N] said suddenly, waving her hand in front of the blonde’s face. Sam blinked and felt the heat rising to her cheeks. “Huh? Oh, uh…sorry. Zoned out.” The girl in front of her giggled, making her heart flutter. “You do that a lot.” She nodded and scratched the back of her neck, silently thankful that they had to step forward in line so she could hide her face by looking ahead momentarily. “Yeah, my bad. My mind just kind of…wanders.” [Y/N]’s eyebrows popped upwards as she tilted her head to the side in curiosity. “Really? Where to?” The crimson red once again warmed her face at the girl’s question. “N-Nowhere. It’s…embarrassing.”

[Y/N] smirked and nodded. “Fair enough. I’m just curious though. Why does your mind only seem to wander when you’re staring at me? I’ve never seen you zone out around anyone else.” Sam choked on the air she tried to breathe in, startled by the fact [Y/N] had caught on to her situation. The girl laughed. “Don’t worry, Sammy, I’m just teasing.” Sam looked down and used her hand to cover her face as she took a deep breath. When she felt her face was back to its original color, she lowered her hand back down to her side. They stepped forward again when it was their turn to order. “I’d like a medium vanilla frappe.” The barista behind the register nodded with a smile, wrote the order down on the cup, then turned to Sam. “And for you, miss?” “Uh, just a small green tea please.” “Alright. Can I get a name for the order?”

Sam and [Y/N] looked at each other, silently communicating before turning back to the barista. “Samantha G.” The barista nodded and typed the name up on her register. “That’ll be $8.03.” At that, both Sam and [Y/N] reached into their pockets for their wallets. They looked at each other. “Oh, it’s alright, [Y/N]. I’m fine with paying.” [Y/N] smiled softly. “You don’t have to, Sam. I don’t mind paying this time.” “Nah, I got it. You can pay next time.” The [h/c] girl blushed faintly. “O-Oh. Uh, yeah, of course.” [Y/N] put her wallet away as Sam handed the barista her card. She returned it to the blonde shortly after scanning it and handing her the receipt. “We’ll call when it’s ready.” Sam nodded.

“Thanks,” she mumbled loud enough for the employee to hear. She headed over to a table near the back of the room, [Y/N] trailing closely behind her. They sat down across from each other and smiled. Both tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t, so they looked away instead and blushed. Sam’s mind screamed at her to say something–anything–to break the silence. Finally, she cleared her throat. “S-So, uh…did your mission go well?” The [h/c] girl looked over at her. “Hm? Oh, yeah. It was…successful, in terms of the goal, but…” The girl fell silent. Sam raised an eyebrow. “But…?” [Y/N] sighed, averting her gaze to stare at the table in front of her. She began to pick at her nails.

“We just…I saw so many of my friends die, Sam. So many men and women didn’t get to come home to their loved ones. They never get to see their friends or families again. How can I consider that a success?” Sam frowned, her heart breaking as she saw tears forming in [Y/N]’s eyes. Hesitantly, she reached across the table and grabbed the girl’s trembling hand. She caressed the back of it with her thumb. “I know what you mean. I can’t tell you how many people I saw die in a single day. I see their faces every time I close my eyes. I spoke to my therapist about it, and she said it sounds like Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder. It’s really common with soldiers, even if they haven’t seen battle in person, so it doesn’t surprise me that we both might have it.”

“Yeah, my dad warned me about that. I’d heard about it multiple times throughout school, but I never knew how horrible it really is. I wish there was a way I could forget about everything I witnessed. All this stress is making me worry about my future.” “I know. It’s going to take some time, and by that, I mean years, but we’ll get through it, okay? I promise. Yes, we both have therapists who can help us find healthy ways to cope, but we also have each other. We both know the general idea of what we saw, so we have true sympathy for our situation. We aren’t alone in this. I’m here for you.” [Y/N] smiled weakly, though it dropped. “I know. I’m just…I’m scared, Sam.” Sam tilted her head. “Of what?”

“I’ve heard so many stories–I’ve seen it multiple times! How people with PTSD snap at the smallest things and end up driving away the people they love. I don’t want that to happen.” Sam sighed softly, her own hand beginning to tremble. “I can’t promise that we won’t lose control sometimes. Trauma makes you do scary things–it gives you horrible thoughts and overrides your emotions. It can make you lose sight of what’s logical. It’s terrifying, but there are ways to cope with it. Therapy and talking with people who understand it are two of those ways. It’s going to take years. I know that’s terrible to think about, but it’s true. You won’t be alone during those years, I can promise you that. I’m here, your therapist is here, and everyone else is too: Emily, Jessica, Matt, Mike, Chris, Ashley–all of us. We’re here.”

[Y/N] smiled genuinely at Sam, who returned it with her own small grin. They gazed into each other’s eyes, visibly refraining from telling each other something. Sam took in a shaky breath to ease her anxiety. She took note of how warm [Y/N]’s hand felt in her own–how soft her skin felt against her own. She recalled how warm the girl’s body felt when they had hugged earlier in line. She smiled. “[Y/N], can I be honest with you?” The [h/c] girl nodded, a spark of interest flickering in her eyes. “Of course.” Sam parted her lips to speak. “I wanted to t–”

“Samantha G, your order is ready!”

Both women jumped at the sudden holler, looking over to the register where the barista from before had placed their drinks. Sam sighed, her heart pounding in her ears. She turned back to [Y/N]. “I-I, uh…I guess I’ll be right back.” [Y/N] smiled nervously and nodded. The blonde then stood and walked to the counter, picking up the drinks before spinning on her heel to head back to the table. She sucked in a breath, cursing under her breath at how stupid she was for trying to confess at a time like that. She deliberately slowed her steps so she wouldn’t have to face [Y/N] again so soon, but because of the small size of the cafe, it only took her a few seconds to make it back. She sat down and handed the drink over, instantly taking a sip of her own to avoid eye contact.

“What were you saying?” Sam put her drink down and cleared her throat. “Uh, nothing. It’s not important.” [Y/N] frowned. “Alright…” They sat in silence, the only background noise the surrounding chatter of the tables nearby and the occasional sip they alternated between taking. After a few minutes, Sam’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and clicked on the notification. Mike had texted, asking if she had confessed yet. She sighed. ‘No, I can’t do it. Not now. I think we still need time before either one of us is ready.’ Mike sent back a frowny face, but agreed that she should wait. ‘You should still tell her how you feel though. That way she knows she can come to you when she’s ready.’ Sam rolled her eyes. ‘Fine. But I’m not telling her now. I’ll tell her some other time.’

She pocketed her phone with a huff and finished off the last of her drink. She stood and walked to a trash can, tossed her empty cup inside, and stepped back over to the table. She put her fidgety hands into her pockets and stood beside [Y/N], who looked up at her with an unreadable expression. “Why don’t we get out of here? I think it would be best to get some fresh air and talk about something else until we’re comfortable.” The girl still sitting nodded and stood up as well, following Sam as they both headed out the door. They got into the blonde’s car, and as they were buckling up, Sam paused her movements, making the [h/c] girl look over at her in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you drive here?” “Oh, yeah. I guess you can just drop me off here after we’re done hanging out. That way I can take my car home.” Sam nodded and started the engine, merging into the street once the upcoming traffic cleared. They sat in silence for a while, not sure what to say. Finally, as [Y/N] realized Sam hadn’t specified where she was going, she turned to her. “Where were you wanting to go? I’m not really sure of any store or mall that isn’t packed at this time.” Sam hummed, the gears in her mind turning as she kept her eyes on the road ahead. “I guess we can go walk around at the park near my place. Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, anything is fine. I just want to get my mind off of what we were talking about for a little bit.” Sam nodded, but they went completely silent after that. They drove for a few more short minutes, though it felt like an eternity to the both of them. Once they finally pulled up to the side of the road, they got out. [Y/N] stood near the hood of the car as she waited for Sam to join her after locking the car. They linked up and walked over to the red track that trailed along the edge of the park, standing a more-than-reasonable distance away from each other. Sam looked around at the other people walking around while [Y/N] stared down at her phone, mindlessly scrolling through posts on her feed.

Sam’s previously tense gaze softened as it landed on a group of small children laughing and running as their parents chased them with bright smiles. A small smile of its own made its way to her lips as she looked over at [Y/N]. “Hey, have you ever thought of having a family of your own? Y’know, once you’re ready?” The [h/c] girl looked up, surprised at the sudden question. She shrugged. “Oh, uh…I guess so. Every once in a while, yeah, but I really want to find the right person first before I even think of starting a family.” Sam nodded. “Ah, yeah, that’s a good idea. But a family doesn’t necessarily mean having children. It could mean having nieces, nephews, or a pet, or even just having a partner. There’s no real definition of what a family has to be.”

[Y/N] smiled. “That’s a nice way to look at it.” They shared a smile, finally making eye contact for the first time since they left the cafe. “What about you?” “Hm?” “Have you ever thought about starting a family when you’re ready?” Sam blushed. “Oh. Yeah, I have.” “Anyone specific in mind?” The blonde’s blush deepened. “Y-Yes.” [Y/N] suddenly smirked, pocketing her phone as she stepped closer and leaned in a bit to the side. “Oh? Who?” Sam looked away. “No one. I don’t wanna say.” “C’mon, Sammy, you can tell me. I’m the same one you shared all those secrets with back in our bunk.” Sam sighed after a moment and looked down at her feet, unable to wipe the smile from her face. “I-I can’t share any names, but…it’s this girl.”

“Yeah? Tell me about her! Maybe I could find a way to get you two together.” ‘Oh, the irony,’ Sam thought to herself. “She’s just…perfect in my eyes. She’s kind, beautiful, selfless, strong, and just…incredible. I wish I could tell her how I feel. She means the world to me. I could go on and on for hours about how much I love her. I can’t picture a life ahead without her in it–I don’t want to picture one without her in it either. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, I still want to be there for her–to make her happy and feel loved like she deserves.” [Y/N]’s smile seemed forced, not quite reaching her eyes. “Oh, it sounds like you really love her a lot!” “Yeah, I do. How would you confess?” “Me?” “Yeah. If you were in my shoes, what would you do or say to her to let her know how I feel?”

[Y/N] looked ahead, not really looking at anything in particular. “Hm…Well, I’d probably take her to a nice place where we’d be alone, and then start talking to her about what I love most about her. Then, if she doesn’t seem uncomfortable, I’d tell her how I feel.” Sam nodded, making a mental note. “That’s not a bad plan at all. Maybe I’ll follow through with it. I could do it tonight, actually.” “Oh, do I need to leave at a certain time so you’re alone?” “No, it’s fine. We’ll figure it out.” “Alright.”

They continued walking, Sam seeming to lead the conversation afterwards as [Y/N] gave increasingly shorter answers. Finally, after about an hour and a half of walking, they headed back. Sam drove them to her apartment instead of the cafe, confusing the [h/c] girl. She turned to ask her where they were, but the blonde had already gotten out of the car and headed to the front of the building. [Y/N] stepped out and shut the door. Sam turned to her and motioned for her to come over. “C’mon! I wanna hang out with you for a bit longer. Unless you’re busy?” “Oh, no, not at all.”

Sam nodded, and they headed inside. They stepped into the elevator as the blonde pressed her floor. They made it up in a few short moments and headed down the overly long hallway. Finally, just as [Y/N] was getting ready to ask how much further they would have to walk, Sam turned and pulled her keys out from her pocket, unlocking the door in front of her and pushing it open to step inside. [Y/N] followed after her. Sam closed and locked the door behind her once they were both inside. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the living room. I’m just gonna change into something a little more cozy.” “Alright.”

Sam headed into her room off to the side, closing the door behind her and locking it before quickly grabbing her phone. She shot Mike a text in a panic. ‘She’s in my apartment rn, what the hell do I do??’ Mike didn’t take long to respond. ‘Nice!! Shoot your shot and tell her how you feel!’ Sam groaned, tossing her phone onto her bed and heading to her closet. She grabbed a slightly oversized t-shirt and some sweatpants. She changed into them quickly and sat on the edge of her mattress, holding her head in her hands as her mind raced. ‘Just tell her how you feel. Make her feel safe, so that even if she doesn’t feel the same, she knows it’s okay to reject you and leave. Don’t be pushy.’

She stood and grabbed her phone. She stepped over to her door and unlocked it, though she didn’t make any move to actually twist the doorknob and open it. ‘Breathe, and just tell her how you feel.’ She finally opened the door and headed over to the couch, joining [Y/N] as she sat down on the opposite side. They smiled nervously at each other before looking away. Sam’s phone buzzed in her hand, making her look down at it. Mike texted again, giving her a few words of encouragement. The blonde smiled with a soft sigh and looked over at [Y/N], who was toying with her fingers. “Hey, so…about earlier–when I asked about starting a family. There was actually a reason I brought that up.”

[Y/N] turned to her, now intrigued. “Yeah? What is it?” “You know those things I said about that girl I like?” She nodded. “I’m not sure if I made it obvious about who I was talking about, but could you kind of get a hint as to who I was referring to?” [Y/N] looked to the side as she thought to herself. “Uh…no, actually. I don’t really know anyone that we didn’t both meet during training, and from what I could tell, you didn’t really care for anyone there since they were all really rude at first.” Sam chuckled. “Yeah, until they got scolded multiple times, they were honestly pretty annoying. I tried pretty damn hard to stay calm around them, but they made it so difficult.” [Y/N] laughed with her this time. “Yeah. Kinda reminds me of boot camp.”

Sam nodded, both women smiling warmly at each other. Suddenly feeling the urge to be closer, the blonde scooted towards [Y/N], who didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. “Well, the girl I was talking about, I actually did meet her during training.” The girl’s eyes brightened, seeming hopeful. “R-Really?” “Yeah. All those things I said about her were true. I don’t want to picture my life without her in it.” Sam’s smile widened. “I don’t want to picture my life without you in it, [Y/N]. Even if you don’t feel the same about me, I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you–trying everything I can to make you happy. You deserve the world, and I want to try to give that to you.”

[Y/N] stared at her in shock, her face bright red as she fumbled nervously with her shirt. Sam’s eyebrows furrowed a bit after a moment of no response, her confidence crumbling. “Is…Is everything alright? I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?” [Y/N] blinked. “Huh? O-Oh, no! Not at all! I just didn’t expect you to feel the same way about me that I feel about you.” It was Sam’s turn to blush this time. “You feel the same way about me?” [Y/N] nodded. They smiled wildly at each other, overwhelmed with both joy and relief at the realization that they felt the same way about each other. Sam scooted closer, tenderly taking [Y/N]’s hand into her own. “So…what does this mean? What are we?”

The [h/c] girl shrugged after a moment, her smile never faltering. “I’m not sure, honestly. I really do love you, Sam, I’m just scared.” Sam tilted her head. “Scared? Of what?” “Of being in a relationship so soon after making it home. I’m worried I’ll be too anxious or stressed to play my part in a relationship like this. I just…I need time. I promise you, we will date–my heart belongs to you, but I’m just going to need a bit of time to figure things out. Maybe once I find good ways to cope with what happened, I’ll be ready.” She looked up at the blonde, expecting her to be upset. To her relief, Sam was still smiling as wide as before. She nodded and squeezed her hand.

“I agree. I think I need a bit of time as well. I’m just so relieved to know you feel the same way.” They stared at each other for a moment longer. At length, [Y/N] suddenly leaned forward and pulled Sam into one of those warm hugs she was so in love with. She froze, but quickly melted into the embrace and held her back just as tight, inhaling her scent and closing her eyes. “I’m so glad I met you, Sam,” [Y/N] whispered softly. Sam felt her smile grow wider as she buried her face into the girl’s hair. She held her tighter. “I’m glad I met you too. I love you so much.” [Y/N] didn’t respond for a moment, making Sam worry that she had said it too soon. Her worries were washed away, however, as [Y/N] chuckled through a sob. Before Sam could ask what was wrong, a soft, “I love you too,” came from the girl’s lips. They stayed there for several long moments, swaying side to side slightly as they enjoyed each other’s presence and warmth.

Finally, they leaned back and gazed into each other’s eyes. [Y/N] had been crying, but Sam could tell it was from joy instead of pain. She grinned, softly wiping her tears away. “Everything will be okay, [Y/N]. I promise you. I’m here for you.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

General Headcanons

[Resident Evil Village] Dimitrescu Sisters x Female Reader || Bela Dimitrescu x Female Reader, Cassandra Dimitrescu x Female Reader, Daniela Dimitrescu x Female Reader

Word Count: 4.37k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: None.

[A/N]: Just general, personal headcanons I have of how the girls would be with their partner, as well as just general traits I think they would have. I'll probably add onto this over time when I think of more headcanons.

[A/N] #2: Image credits for Bela and Daniela belong to trippykatsuki on TikTok, and image credit for Cassandra belongs to DigitalZky on NexusMods.

Enjoy!

All

General

I wholeheartedly believe the three of them have fangs–I mean, they’re essentially cannibalistic vampires, so they’d need sharper teeth for tearing and draining/drinking blood (in an easier way)

Definitely love heat, considering their weakness

Will huddle up against each other, their mother, or their partners if they feel even the slightest breeze

Anyone close to them that provides body heat instantly becomes their personal hot water bottle, especially during winter

Y’know how they can control their individual flies / small groups of their flies?

I can totally see them indirectly letting certain ones buzz louder when they get excited or cheerful over something

It’s essentially like they’re purring / vibrating with joy

Like, compliment them? Gift them something they were wanting? Make them feel special in any way?

They’re purring buzzing

Definitely competitive with one another

They’re siblings, after all

They 100% bicker constantly, but they love each other dearly

When they have someone in their life romantically, they all develop this kind of possessive/overprotective tendency. By that, I mean they don’t like to share their lover. They refuse to allow any kind of addition to the relationship–no way will they let a third person become a part of their relationship with their girlfriend

[Individual preferences under the cut]

Bela

General

She’s known as the most cold, levelheaded of her sisters

However, I am a firm believer that she is the most touch-starved of her sisters

She’s constantly seeking praise and approval from her mother, but since she’s held to such a high standard, I get the feeling she worries about not doing enough

Because of this, she’s often buried in paperwork in her study, away from her family

Daniela definitely gives everyone in her family hugs whenever, but that’s all the physical contact she’s likely used to receiving in an affectionate manner

Don’t get me wrong, Alcina absolutely holds her and comforts her physically when she needs it–especially if she and her sisters have barged into her room to ask about sleeping in her bed with her at night–but Bela would probably try to handle her emotions on her own

Doesn’t swoon over fancy gifts, but isn’t against them either

She appreciates them, just worries there’s no practical use for them

Aside from craving physical affection, she undoubtedly loves words of affirmation / praise

Saying the right thing will make her feel all mushy inside, regardless of how well she’s able to hide it

She’s become an expert at winning arguments after having so many with her sisters

You will not win an argument against her

She’s patient and thinks things through, even if it’s something trivial

It’s hard to get her riled up, unless, of course, her family is brought into it in a way she deems as threatening

She’ll still seem relatively calm, but you’d be able to tell when something really got under her skin

She kind of, like, bristles in a way that only those closest to her can notice

Loves all kinds of forms of art

Reading provides a way for her mind to focus and calm down, as well as give her something to bond over with Daniela

Reading also comes in handy when she’s trying to research something or find a way to make something easier

Sketching and painting allows her to spend more time with her mother and be more like her, and it’s clear just how much she admires and loves Alcina

She is 100% a mama’s girl

Sketching specifically gives her a way to visualize things, such as new equipment, experiments, measurements, etc., and it allows her to do so on any surface in front of her

Crafting and sculpting helps connect further with Cassandra, who is more than happy to share tips on creating and designing weapons and small sheaths to fit them in

Designing the weapons on paper is another way she gets to incorporate her sketching skills, as well as fulfill her need to plan things out ahead of time

She loves anything that helps her grow closer to her family

It’s a bonus that those activities also help strengthen her mind

I find her to be the type who loves music. I think she’d know multiple instruments, considering how long she’s been alive, and she’s definitely written her own sheet music on more than one occasion

Willing to try anything more than once, so long as she deems it to be calming or practical

Overall, she loves spending time connecting with her mother and sisters, but it can be hard for her to when she spends so much time working alone in her study

Romantic

Relating to what I said above, I honestly think Bela’s the most inexperienced with romance

She understands how it works, and she knows what’s important for a relationship to be healthy, she just never took much of an interest

Instead, she spends most of her time improving her skills and working under her mother, preparing herself for when she takes over the family winery

You’ll have to be patient with her in the beginning, as she’s not sure what to do with the more physical side of things

Yes, she is touch-starved, but it will still take time for her to adjust if you’re one who likes to cuddle or hug a lot

It’s not really that she’s shy about it, she just isn’t used to it

Once she does finally grow comfortable with it, she’ll start initiating touches herself, albeit very slowly: holding hands when walking around in the garden, linking arms when taking a stroll in the village in the warmer seasons, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek or lips when she feels the moment is right, pulling you into a hug when you want/need it

When she gets even more comfortable with physical touch, she’ll start progressing her boldness: cuddling up together in bed or on a sofa when reading, her kisses and hugs will linger and feel more loving and passionate, and she’ll even hold you and / or spoon against you when sleeping at night

She’ll also find that she loves to do smaller motions such as caress your face, stroke your hair, or trace random patterns on your arms, back, and shoulders

She’s a patient lover, and will do whatever she can to make things work

Slowly, she’ll learn how to get better at expressing her emotions instead of trying to work through them all on her own

Please pull her away from her work more often–poor girl needs to get some sleep

Maybe tell her there’s something you want to try out in the garden or the village like having a picnic or even just visit a friend for lunch

She’ll be stubborn about it, telling you how she needs to finish her work, but if you press her long enough, she’ll give in under the condition that it doesn’t take away too much of her time

So long as she enjoys the evening, however, she won’t be upset with how long she was away from her work

She’ll even thank you the majority of the time

She may accidentally find herself scolding you the way she does with her sisters, but once she catches onto her actions, she’ll quickly draw back and apologize, shifting her tone to speak to you properly

By this, I mean she’ll go from nagging you about something you said or did as if you were a child, the same way she treats her sisters at times, to sitting down with you to talk like rational adults, instead seeming more concerned than annoyed

Speaking of her sisters, she’ll definitely back you up if you somehow find yourself arguing with one of them

As long as you aren’t completely in the wrong, anyway

But sometimes she backs you up just because Cassandra and herself got into an argument recently, or because she just wants to get under Daniela’s skin and tease her a bit

She’ll show interest in your hobbies and might even dabble in a few herself if she hasn’t already

Might even drag you into the room when she’s spending time with her sisters so you can pick up their hobbies as well

She loves learning anything and everything about her partner

Definitely the type to research whatever her partner is interested in / passionate about, so she can share more about it with her and show that she genuinely cares

Dates with her appear simple, but each little factor is carefully planned, including what kind of flowers may be used, what meal is prepared, and even just the color of the outfit she chooses to wear

In short, she absolutely loves and adores her partner, would do anything for her, and is constantly making mental notes on every interest or compliment thrown her way. It takes time for her to get adjusted to the more intimate sides of a relationship, but with patience, she’ll be the kindest and most understanding partner one could have

Cassandra

General

She comes across as aggressive and sadistic to everyone outside of her family, but her sisters and mother know she actually has a much softer side. She just doesn’t like to show it

To me, she comes across as someone who feels like she has to protect her family from any potential threats, ultimately deeming herself as the defender

Still, the sadistic part of her is no joke. She loves to toy with her prey and taunt them all the way up until their dying breath

It thrills her

She and Daniela definitely cause mayhem together, much to Bela and Alcina’s dismay

They’ll often play pranks on their older sister together, laughing hysterically when they both run away from the eldest when she gives chase

When Alcina is scolding her and Daniela, they’ll listen silently, promising to not repeat whatever they pulled

When Bela is scolding them, however, they can’t help but snicker and mock her when she turns around, all in good fun of course. They love Bela and look up to her, but they’re all still sisters, and they don’t try to hide it

As said above in Bela’s section, I–along with plenty of other people in the fandom–believe that Cassandra designs and creates her own collection of weapons

The ones she’s proudest of will end up being displayed on the walls in her room, and the rest will stay in the armory for her to try and improve on later

As well as the groups of weapons in her room, she also keeps collections of her trophies from each of her hunts: skulls, teeth, bones, antlers, etc.

I don’t think she’s as restless as her younger sister Daniela, but I do still find myself picturing her constantly fidgeting with something, whether it be her dress, her necklace, or even her own fingers

Because of this, I feel like she’d pick up other hobbies that would sort of force her to slow down and focus on specific motions

Crocheting, knitting, sculpting (as mentioned above), picking up some sort of instrument, etc.. These help her steady her hands and prevent straining them

It’s not that she’s anxious, she just has built up energy–specifically during the colder months when she can’t go out to hunt and channel her anger

I mean, during the whole sequence in the game where they drag you into Alcina’s chambers to determine what to do with you, she’s moving around the entire time, likely because she’s excited about how they’re going to deal with Ethan

She’s kind of swaying side to side in the cutscene

I do know, though, that she can still herself when she wants to. It’s hard to hunt living prey if you’re constantly moving around

I know during the gameplay, when you’re fighting her, she definitely might seem reckless, but there are two reasons for that: for starters, she’s trying to kill the player after being exposed to her weakness, meaning she wants to end things quickly before she’s able to retreat to safety

Two, by that point, the player already has killed Bela, and in some instances, they’ve already killed Daniela. She’s no doubt enraged that she wasn’t able to defend her sisters, as I said at the beginning. She’s furious at Ethan, and she wants to tear him to pieces

Even so, she still managed to stay coordinated and calculates her movements

She still has some sense of restraint, which is clear from the way she seems to stalk Ethan here and there to determine which direction he’s headed in. This way, she doesn’t lunge at him and put herself in a far more vulnerable position

She wants to make her mother proud, and she wants to defend her family, so when she finds that she wasn’t able to protect her sisters, she more than likely feels as though she failed on both accounts

Ultimately, she’s still very outgoing and sadistic, but I can definitely see a much softer side to her: one where she feels responsible for the wellbeing of her family, and then feels as if she failed when she can’t live up to those standards that she put on herself

Romantic

Contrary to what the majority of the fandom seems to think, I actually believe Cassandra would be an excellent partner

She is sadistic, yes, that’s obvious. However, as I explained above, she has a softer side. If she finds that she’s grown to like someone, especially romantically, that feeling of defensiveness seeps into her relationship as well

Not really one to initiate physical touch beyond holding her partner or pressing a quick kiss to her lips, but she’s also not one to shy away from it by any means. She’s down to try pretty much anything you’d like, unless it involves adding someone else into the mix

She’s definitely a possessive partner in certain aspects, and by that I mean she wants the relationship to only involve her and her lover. Not open to the idea of poly-relationships, but in all fairness, neither of her sisters are either. They’re all loyal and devoted to one special someone, and they all expect their partner to be as well (they only want your eyes on them--no one else)

On a different note, she loves dragging you into the pranks she pulls on her sisters

When Daniela is involved as well, things get more chaotic, and even though Bela makes sure you get dragged into her lecture as well, you and her younger sisters always end up having a good time

It’s one way that you started getting closer to both Cassandra and Daniela, which made both of them happy. Cassandra because you were getting along with her family, and Daniela because she essentially thinks of you as another sister–aka, someone to get into shenanigans with, but also someone new she could love as her own kind

Cassandra definitely might find it hard to pick up on certain cues, but so long as you let her know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, she’ll respect it

Don’t want her holding or kissing you during certain times, such as when you’re upset? Just want to be left alone? She’ll respect it, but she always makes sure you have what you need–after an hour or two, if you’re still wanting space, she’ll slip into the room momentarily to give you water and maybe something to snack on or fidget with. She’ll ask if you’re feeling any better and listen intently before heading out again

She’ll do this every hour or so until you’re ready for her to be near again

When you do let her close after calming down, she’ll do whatever it is you need: hold you, listen to you, offer words of encouragement, crack a joke, anything

She won’t push your boundaries, but she’ll keep an eye on you at all times until she’s sure you’re in a far better mood. She wants to make sure you don’t relapse into your sorrow

If you do, she’ll make sure you’re still taken care of until you’re better

She isn’t shy about linking arms or leaning against you/letting you lean against her around others, even around her sisters, who definitely tease her for it

When in bed, however, she strikes me as the type who likes to sleep on top of her partner for two reasons: one, because your body heat helps lull her into a deeper slumber, and two, because, again, she wants to protect her loved ones. She feels that lying on top of you gives her a better way to defend you at night

An added bonus of sleeping like this: she gets to listen to your heartbeat all night long, another sound that greatly comforts her

When winter comes, she’ll light the hearth in her room before bundling up with you under the blankets for an extra source of warmth and softness

During times like those, when you two are alone in her room, she’ll happily talk about her trophies and self-made weaponry she’s decorated her walls with. After some time talking about the knives she keeps on her desk, she’ll even offer to teach you how to create one of your own and use it to defend yourself in case she’s not around

Overall, she’s a very understanding partner, it just takes a bit of extra communication for her to know what you may or may not need. She’s very devoted to you, and she’ll essentially become your defender as well, though she’s not afraid to show affection towards you so you know she’s proud to be seen with you

Daniela

General

Daniela is absolutely the wildest of her sisters in terms of energy, but she also can be the kindest and friendliest of her older siblings

She gets along with people really well, but she still definitely has a more sadistic side to her personality, hence the reason she’s likely the one who brings the most maids down into the cellar for punishment

Not necessarily because she’s easily set off, nor because she’s overly reckless, but because she really enjoys causing chaos, which she partakes in with Cassandra most of the time as a strange way of bonding

Messiest of her sisters in terms of how she punishes the maids, as well as how she eats, talks, and thinks, but she still comes across as the sweetest of the three

Like most younger siblings, she looks up to her older sisters, especially Bela

She tries to be like them in some aspects, which I’ll elaborate on, but she also likes implementing parts of herself into things as well–essentially putting her own spin on things she’s been inspired to do or try

When I say she tries to be like her sisters, I’m talking about her mannerisms: how she holds herself in the presence of certain people, how she stalks and takes care of her prey, how she speaks to the maids when they’ve made a mistake, etc.

This can be seen in the actual game itself, but someone has already described it really well, so I’ll link it here

However, she definitely does put her own spin on things, whether it be physically (how she moves around the room before striking), verbally (how she speaks to others, aka, her flirty tone), or emotionally (the tone she uses when trying to achieve something)

An obvious hobby of hers, based on gameplay anyway, is reading. She locks herself in the library to read very often

I can definitely see her writing her own stories and possibly even her own poems, though. I also feel like Bela has tried out poetry as well, so this would be something else that the two of them could bond over as well, on top of reading

She loves when she gets to spend time with her family, especially her sisters, so whenever she sees an opportunity where she can bond with them, she takes it–even if it just means sitting in the same room as them for a certain amount of time

A social butterfly, Daniela isn’t afraid to greet strangers or try to strike up a conversation with someone when she goes out into the village to shop for new books

Granted, she tends to freak some people out, considering her family’s reputation and how energetic she can come across as, but nevertheless, she still is more than happy to talk to others and get to know them

Although she is very outgoing and likely a bubbly person, she definitely has moments where she wants to be alone. It’s either because she wants to escape from an argument she may have gotten into with her sisters, has gotten overwhelmed when someone else is arguing loudly, there’s too much noise nearby, or she just wants to take some time to herself to read

Often, disregarding the colder months, she can be seen at the Duke’s shop looking for new books

Her room definitely has shelves with those books in case she doesn’t feel like moving to the library or wants to read in the comfort of her bed, but I can see her having other things as well

Has a section of one of her walls dedicated to letters, photos, or drawings she’s made or shared with her family, all of which have small notes to recall where they originated from

Another wall, the one where her study is kept, is littered with the poems or rough drafts for stories she’s written recently. There are also likely a couple of books there for her to reference or gain inspiration from while writing

Out of all of her family, I feel like she has the broadest taste in music. Next to her desk, tucked away in the corner, she has a record player she purchased one year from the Duke, as well as a small collection of different records that she switches between randomly. She’ll often play certain albums while reading or writing, just so there’s some sort of noise in the background if it’s been a particularly stressful day

Romantic

So, Daniela definitely may struggle with certain boundaries in a relationship, but it’s because her love language is absolutely physical affection–she loves to hug, kiss, and cuddle with her partner at any given chance

If you’re the first one to initiate any form of intimacy–kiss her on the cheek or lips, lean into her for an embrace or to link arms, even something as simple as linking your fingers together when walking around or sitting together–she’ll completely melt

Like, a full on cheesy grin with a slight blush creeping up to her ears

She just looks so proud

However, with a little bit of time a patience, she’ll finally find ways to cope with having to give you space as well

It’s not necessarily because it’s the end of the world for her if she can’t touch you somehow, it’s just that she’s used to being close to you all the time, so she’ll have to adjust when you ask for some space

When you’re wanting to be alone for a bit, she’ll busy herself with writing you a letter or note of some kind that she can give to you once you’re ready for her to be close again

She’s absolutely the cuddlebug in her family: she’ll cuddle you whenever, so long as you’re comfortable with it

She’ll cuddle you when reading, when listening to music, when talking, and 100% cuddles with you when the two of you are asleep

I can see her finding any cuddling position suitable–she just wants to be close to you in one way or another

She, like her sisters, loves warmth and is drawn to your body heat

And while she can easily hear your heartbeat from a mile away, she still loves to press her ear up against your chest whenever to hear it directly next to her

On top of the cuddles, she also loves to hug you, no matter the reason

You’re sad? Hugs. You’re happy? Hugs. You’re confused? Hugs. Doesn’t matter what’s happening, she just loves hugging you

She also really loves being able to kiss you, all under the same circumstances as above

Out of the three of them, Daniela is definitely the most touchy and emotional one

However, she knows when she needs to be the reliable one. She knows there’s a time and place for her affection, emotions, and overall attitude

You’re her rock, and she wants to be that for you as well

You keep her grounded when she starts to get too overwhelmed, and she loves that you do so much for her. She wants to return the favor, even if she’s not entirely sure how

She’s fully capable of being the partner you need

She knows there’s more to a relationship than just pure romance–it takes time, patience, understanding, communication, and so much more–and she knows things won’t always be easy like they are in the romance novels she tends to be drawn toward

However, she’s also willing to stick it out and stay by your side

She loves you so much, and she wants to give you everything. She wants to give you the world, no matter the cost.

Ask anything of her, and she’ll do everything in her power to get it for you

She’s aware that sometimes she can be a bit much to others–in terms of her outlook on things and her level of energy–but she just hopes you’ll stand by her with pride the way she does with you

You, like her family, mean everything to her, and she just wants you to be happy and feel loved and appreciated

In short, Daniela is a very touchy partner, one who constantly wants to be near you. She loves spending all of her time with you. Even when you ask for space, she’s doing something for you: she’s pulling strength from the time spent on her hobbies to write you a poem or letter that she hopes will cheer you up even more when you let her near you again. She can be patient and strong when you need her to be. Without fail, she’ll always find a way to make you smile and laugh. You’re her world, her lover, her family, and she’ll do anything for you

Wanted to take a small break from posting three stories per character to come back to these three and show them a little more love. I haven’t been seeing much content for them since the fandom has already kind of died, so I just wanted to add this here until I fully come back to them. As of now, I still have eleven more people I’m wanting to write for, so it’s definitely going to be a while.

I liked writing this as a little breather though, so I may do this again in between characters (there are a lot, please bear with me).

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Busy Confession

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.81k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, anxiety, and feelings of rejection

[A/N]: Story three for Janis--I'll be working on another character soon. I still have a couple of characters I want to write for, but then I'll upload the master list I'm currently making and start answering requests.

[A/N] #2: Sorry this one took longer than the others. I've been trying to post every Saturday, but I could not for the life of me figure out how to write this one. I haven't proofread this yet, so let me know if there are any mistakes.

Enjoy!

 “Oh come on, turn red already!” Janis hollered, her voice raising towards the end as her nails dug into the material of her steering wheel. Her hands had begun to cramp in the past few minutes, and she knew it was from her white knuckled grip that she had on the wheel during the entirety of her drive, but each time she tried to loosen said grip to help her tense, aching muscles relax, they’d return to their firm grasp at the mere thought of the text she had received.

Logistically speaking, Janis knew [Y/N] wasn’t trying to come across as flirty or teasing. In the emotional part of her mind, however, she wondered if it was actually the opposite–if the girl she had been crushing on for years was finally picking up on it and was now taunting her with semi-flirty responses. Usually, when her emotions would spiral out of control the way they were in the moment, she’d head to [Y/N]’s house to rant about it and ask for any kind of advice. Since that was who was causing what she was feeling, however, she knew she had to resort to her other best friend: Damian. Too jittery from her gay panic, Janis only managed to call him long enough to let him know she was headed over.

He had tried to say something to her before she hung up, but she was in too much of a rush to get in the car that she didn’t comprehend a word he said. She hopped into her car after barely remembering to snag her keys from the hook by the door, scolded herself when she struggled to get the key into the ignition, then sped off out of her driveway toward the direction of Damian’s house.

On the way there, she continued to glance anxiously over at her phone, which she had tossed over into the passenger seat. She feared that [Y/N] would notice her going silent and say something, but she herself couldn’t think of anything to say. With anyone else, she could blurt out a clever retort or crack some kind of joke. With this girl, however, she always seemed to find herself falling silent. The last thing she wanted to do was say something weird or make the situation worse and lose [Y/N]. She was aware that wasn’t how it would happen. After all, she had known [Y/N] far longer than she had known Damian, and even knew her before Regina George changed the course of her life back in middle school.

But that was exactly why she was suddenly so cautious over her words around her. She didn’t want to ruin all of those years together and lose the one person who genuinely seemed to love her for who she is. As far back as she could remember, [Y/N] was the one person she could always rely on without the constant worry of being talked about behind her back. She didn’t want to ruin that by assuming [Y/N] felt the same way about her that she did.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Janis finally made it to Damian’s house. There, she practically fell out of her car with her phone tugged tightly against her chest. Quick footsteps beneath her was all she could hear as she more or less ran to the front door. Subconsciously, her arm raised far enough for the side of her fist to pound against the thick wood of the door now in front of her. Almost immediately after, it swung open, revealing Damian standing there with a conflicted look. Before he could say anything, however, Janis pushed her way past him and dashed into the kitchen. She froze in the doorway upon seeing Cady standing there as well, visibly confused at her desperation.

“Janis? What’s going on?” Speechless for a moment, Janis could only stare at her. At length, Damian stepped in and cleared his throat, moving to stand beside Cady. “Yeah,” he started, “I was trying to tell you that she’s here, but I guess you weren’t listening. Which, I mean, your face right now kinda confirms that for me.” Finally, the goth managed to blurt out a small, “oh,” before glancing at her feet to avoid eye contact with the redhead still glancing at her in puzzlement. “Am I interrupting something?”

A heavy sigh slipped past Damian’s lips as his hand shifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No, but I think I’m not the only one here that’s “too gay to function.” Not sure if she even heard me at all before she hung up.” Finally, a look of understanding crossed Cady’s features. “Oh,” she mumbled as she once again turned to gaze at Janis. Although she was still averting her eyes from Cady’s focus, Janis managed to sneer up at Damian at his words.

Now worried she was in the way, Cady slipped past the two having a one-sided staredown and made her way over to the front door. “Well, I was just about to head out anyway.” Janis glanced up at this, looking slightly relieved. “But, uh…I’ll give you a call about our plan later on, Damian.” The exhausted teen, at the mention of his name, looked over at Cady as well and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”

With that, the redhead vanished through the door and began walking home. Only waiting a moment to make sure she was really gone, Janis quickly whipped her phone back up and powered it on, clicked over to her recent messages, and turned the phone for Damian to see. “Dude, I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I even say after that? Do you think she knows how I feel about her? What if she does? I don’t want her to hate me for it. How would she react if she really did know? Would she–” Two hands landed heavily on her shoulders, halting her babbling and forcing her to look up and away from the screen.

“Janis, calm the hell down, holy shit.”

He huffed when she managed to settle a bit, then took the phone from her hand to read the screen properly. At the sight of the words [Y/N]’s had chosen, he chuckled and ran a hand down his face. “Good lord, I have no idea how you’re gonna survive if the two of you actually start dating.”

“That’s exactly why I came here, Damian: if I don’t ask her out soon, and if she starts talking like this all the time, I’m going to fucking die of embarrassment. Problem is, I have no idea how to ask her out without ruining everything. I need your help, man. Please.” Damian let out a laugh, crumbling whatever sense of confidence Janis may have had. “Oh my god, you and Cady are the bane of my existence today. How did I manage to not be busy the exact same day you both decided you needed relationship advice?” At his words, the goth tilted her head and hummed in confusion.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you over the phone: the reason Cady was here was because she was trying to figure out how to ask Aaron out on a date without Regina ripping her to shreds.” Janis’s brows shot up in surprise. “Oh, shit. Seriously? Is that what the phone call she mentioned was about?” Damian only nodded in reply, crossing his arms as he suppressed another groan. A moment passed where they only stood there in silence, and Damian was internally grateful his parents were at work as Janis had an existential crisis in the middle of their kitchen.

Finally, a smirk replaced his bothered grimace. “So, she wants to kiss you, huh? Wanna do that with her?” He teased, leaning down to nudge her shoulder and gain her attention again. Janis scoffed and shoved his arm away. Her head turned and lowered in an attempt to hide the growing shade of red on her face, though she wasn’t able to bite back the small grin that painted her lips. “You know damn well I do,” she murmured almost silently.

Damian snickered, cupping his ear and leaning toward her in a mocking manner. “What was that? Speak up–you know I’m selectively deaf.” Janis sighed, forcing herself to speak in a louder tone. “I said you know damn well I want to kiss her.” Upon finishing her statement, she stormed over to the kitchen table and planted herself in one of the chairs, crossing her arms on the tabletop and burying her face in them with a drawn out groan.

As she struggled to gather her thoughts, Damian moved to sit next to her, cackling softly to himself at seeing how uncharacteristically distressed his best friend was over a girl. “But it’s not just kissing you wanna do, is it?” He questioned after a moment. Janis shot up from her slouched position and gestured wildly with her hands. “Of course that’s not it! You know it isn’t! But I just…” She glanced down again, her fingers tangling themselves into her fringe and tugging harshly at the strands as she wordlessly went to war with herself, unsure of what to actually say.

“I just don’t wanna mess everything up,” she all but whispered in a broken confession, returning to her previous position of hiding her face in her arms.

The sound of a chair squeaking followed by something landing softly on the table and being slid her direction made her glance up again. Damian had slid her phone back over to her, though now it was face-down and powered off. “I know. I know you love her–pretty sure everyone does at this point. You’re terrible at hiding it.” Janis jabbed him in the arm again, making him chuckle. Upon seeing how distressed the goth was, he sighed, his voice taking on a much softer tone.

“But I do know that she’s one of those people too, even if that’s not what you wanna hear. Trust me, she feels the same. I’ve got quite the eye for these kinds of things.” Defeated, Janis sighed. She leaned back against the chair, dropping her head back to glare up at the ceiling. “Even if that were true, how the hell would I confess without sounding like some sort of loser? I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or something.”

Her friend hummed in thought at this, his eyes seemingly scanning everything and nothing in front of him at once. “Well, why don’t you make it count then? Make it special–your confession, I mean. Just add a whole bunch of stuff she likes. I mean, she loves going to the movies, eating out at restaurants, playing random sports and board games…there’s all kinds of stuff you could do.”

Janis remained silent for a while, prompting Damian to question if he said something wrong, or if she had even heard anything he said. Finally, right as he parted his lips to ask if she was alright, Janis slowly looked up with a growing smile, almost as if realizing something. “That’s a good idea,” she murmured. “Uh,” Damian started in reply, glancing around nervously as she pocketed her phone and began to stand. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

Over the span of another two and a half weeks, Damian managed to help Janis set up a plan where she could finally confess her feelings to [Y/N] and ask her out. The day had come that they agreed to put it into motion. Janis had never felt so nervous before. Not when she had a class presentation, not during any of the art contests she had participated in, and not even when she came back to school after leaving for the final half of her eighth grade year. She knew how to handle those levels of anxiety, but not this.

Never before had she confessed to someone–let alone someone she could actually picture a future with. In the past, when she found herself developing some sort of crush on another girl in her class, it was short lived. She never had to deal with the feeling long, which is why her feelings for [Y/N] became very evident after reflecting for a while.

In the days leading up to her confession, Janis more often than not found herself sketching [Y/N] on everything. She wasn’t able to focus during classes, so she’d pretend she was taking notes or working on an assignment to hide her inattention from the teacher. Even when [Y/N] wasn’t there for her to see, Janis was still doodling her from memory on anything and everything available to her.

Her sketchbook had been filled to the brim with illustrations of the girl before, but the closer she got to the end of the book, the more the pages seemed to be occupied by her face. No matter what she tried–playing video games, watching movies, going to work after school–she couldn’t get [Y/N] out of her head. More than usual, anyway. Tucked away in the corner of her  room, hidden by a thin white sheet, she kept a canvas propped up on her favorite easel. Underneath the cover lay a portrait of [Y/N] she had spent weeks on, always finding another flaw that had her repainting over the dried, flaking pigment.

In her mind, Janis could picture the girl so easily. She could recall every little marking, whether it be a scar or a freckle of some kind, it was so vivid. On her canvas and on paper, however, she just couldn’t seem to get it right. She wanted the illustrations and paintings she made of her to be perfect because that’s how she saw her.

That’s how she had always seen her.

It felt nice thinking about someone she loved so much, but it also worsened her anxiety for her upcoming plans.

She waited until school had been let out for a holiday toward the end of the second semester to carry them out. It would allow for her to set up an outdoor date that would hopefully take place past the beginning of her and Damian’s ideas, as well as give her time off from both school and work.

After making sure [Y/N] was ready for the day, Janis let her know she was headed in her direction to pick her up. The entire drive there, everything about her was shaky, including her breathing. By the time she arrived, her mind was numb and her limbs were tingling. She barely managed to type out a coherent message to let the girl know she was there. Her breathing only got worse once [Y/N] was in the car with her, sat so close to Janis, yet so far away somehow. When she greeted her, her voice cracked and shook, furthering her embarrassment. [Y/N] giggled at her, so she looked down. “God, fuck my voice,” she mumbled.

Again, [Y/N] chuckled, but planted her hand gently on the goth’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Hey, I don’t know why you’re getting so flustered about it. Do you not remember when we first met back in elementary school? You know. When I was crying?” Janis sat up a little straighter and smirked. “Because another kid ate one of your dino nuggets during snack time? Yeah, I remember that. Squeakiest voice I’ve ever heard, even to this day.” [Y/N] faked a gasp and a look of offense, bringing her free hand to her chest in an exaggerated manner. “How dare you say that when Karen Smith exists in the same town as us?”

Finally, Janis snickered at her, turning back to the wheel and shifting her gear into drive. “Fair point,” she replied. She leaned over a bit. “You’re definitely the runner up, though.” A scoff and a playful shove was what she was greeted with in reply, prompting her to finally let out a proper laugh. Her smile visibly faltered for just a moment at the feeling of [Y/N]’s hand sliding off of her shoulder a moment later and moving back to rest in her lap in the passenger seat.

“So, what all are we doing today?” At this, Janis’s anxiety spiked once again. “Well, I thought we could go see a movie and then go eat somewhere before I show you the surprise I have for you.”

[Y/N] leaned over a bit, drawing out a long “oooh” with a dorky grin. “What’s the surprise?” Janis laughed and gently pushed her back, even though she didn’t want to. “If I told you the surprise, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Again, the girl in the passenger seat faked a look of hurt, though it was quickly replaced with a smirk. “Okay, okay, fine. Fair enough.”

As Janis began leading the car in the direction of the nearest movie theater, [Y/N] slipped her phone out from her back pocket and began typing away and swiping through her apps. Unintentionally, Janis continued to glance over at her and her screen periodically, some unknown feeling bubbling up underneath her skin and causing her throat to fall dry. Her hand slipped to the side to turn the AC’s settings up higher, then drove upwards to run down her face as she sighed. Whatever it was that she was feeling was making her burn up.

[Y/N]’s attention was drawn to Janis’s motions, her head perking up and turning in her direction. “You good?” The goth only nodded, desperately trying to scrounge up some sort of excuse as to why she was suddenly far more flustered than she previously was mere moments ago. “Yeah, I just…I’m really hoping you’ll like the surprise when we get to it. I worked really hard on it.” A small pause. “Oh.” Another pause, one that had Janis fighting the urge to scratch or pick at something with her fidgety hands.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing, Jan. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

With a bit of force, Janis managed to convince her lungs to work properly again. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to hide her struggle in the motion, and let it slip back out in the form of a heavy sigh. “Yeah, okay,” she replied softly. Thankfully, before things could grow even more awkward, Janis pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. She switched the engine off and tucked her keys away in one of the pockets of her black, baggy cargo pants. “Well, I guess we should get inside if we wanna get through the long ass line for concessions,” she explained as she pushed her door open and slipped out of the car.

Without thinking too much about it, Janis sped over to the passenger side and tugged the door open for [Y/N], who glanced up at her with a confused stare. She quickly chuckled, however, and stepped out, moving over far enough for Janis to close the door again and lock the car. “Such a gentlewoman,” she teased, prompting the goth’s pale face to flush red again. She still laughed, even through her slight embarrassment, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” came her reply, though it was accompanied by a small bump against her shoulder. She had turned to walk towards the entrance, but [Y/N] had almost immediately caught up with her and nudged her arm with her own. Janis grinned at her and double checked that her car was locked before they got too far. As she stuffed her hands into her front pockets, Janis found herself glancing around at the other people littering the street nearby.

She subconsciously let her teeth hook against her bottom lip as she spotted the couples walking in and out of the building, each one leaning against each other and sharing light conversation or cracking jokes. Her fingers bent upwards, allowing her to toy with her rings as she managed to tear her eyes away from a pair sharing a quick kiss and focus on the ground in front of her. For just a moment, her eyes glimpsed over at [Y/N], who was squinting to try and read the movie posters lined up on the wall still halfway across the parking lot.

Janis couldn’t bite back her small smirk at her focused expression, though she let her gaze drop back down to continue watching her feet leading her forward. Too caught up in her thoughts, Janis let out a startled gasp when she felt two arms wrap themselves around her left one. One hooked around her elbow, the other sliding down so a hand could rest on her forearm. She turned her head to face who had clutched onto her, her cheeks and ears bursting with color as [Y/N] stepped closer and beamed up at her. “A-Ah, you okay?” Was all she could manage to ask between stuttering breaths.

“Yeah, I just like your jackets. They’re cozy, even if I’m not the one wearing them. Like, this sleeve?” [Y/N] gently patted the section of Janis’s sleeve covering her bicep to clarify, making the other girl jump, “it’s soft. Not sure how. Looks really rough, but it’s not.” She giggled to herself for a second. “Kinda like you.”

A darker shade of crimson dusted Janis’s already reddened face. “What?” [Y/N] smirked at her reaction. “Well, I mean, a lot of people are scared of you–specifically the freshmen–but I’m pretty sure it’s just because of your style. You’re really good with comebacks too, and even when they’re mean, they’re still funny as fuck. I think people are just afraid to confront you because they know you’ll destroy them. But you’re actually the sweetest person I know. And you’re really cool. I don’t think you and I have ever really gotten into an actual argument, but I also think it’s because you make sure to listen to me and hear me out.

“Most of the time. Unless you’re trying to lecture me on my gaming skills.” Janis smiled at her last statement, though her heart hammered against her ribs for the small speech before. She thinks I’m sweet? And cool? Unintentionally, she tuned out the majority of what the conversation was about as they both headed inside, the wide, sheepish grin never leaving her lips.

They got their tickets checked, stepped into line, got their drinks and snacks, then headed to the room playing the movie they were there for. As they sat in their seats toward the back of the room, Janis finally felt her spiked nerves subsiding a bit, realizing they could both focus on the movie and avoid having to make awkward conversation.

She didn’t pay attention to most of the film. Although her anxiety had calmed, it was certainly still there. Each time she thought of what she had planned next, another wave of trembling shot through her body. Roughly halfway through, [Y/N] shivered, shifted in her seat, and grumbled something under her breath, gaining Janis’s attention. Sensing eyes now on her, [Y/N] made eye contact and sent a nervous smile in her direction. “Sorry, I just keep forgetting how cold this damned theater is.”

Janis hummed, and almost instantly, after putting her box of small chocolates down, she slid her jacket from her arms. She leaned over a bit, motioning for [Y/N] to lean forward. When she did, the goth dropped the jacket gently on her shoulders and pulled it around her a bit before moving to sit properly in her chair again. She fought the urge to glance back over at [Y/N], but from the corner of her eye, she could see the girl tug the jacket snug around her frame. She let out a gentle sigh at the warmth.

Janis cracked a smile without realizing. She picked her overpriced sweets back up and pulled another one from the box, popping it in her mouth before scooching over enough to take a sip from her soda. For the remainder of the movie, the two sat in silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. When the film ended and the lights came on, they got up and wordlessly left the theater. Once they were in the car, Janis finally fully looked over at [Y/N], sucking in a breath at the sight of the jacket now fully on her.

Sometime during the ending, [Y/N] had ultimately slipped her arms into the sleeves to wear it properly. Janis beamed, feeling a strange sense of pride. “So,” [Y/N] chirped, snapping her out of her trance. “Which restaurant are we going to?”

Oh, right. Her plans.

Janis, to distract herself momentarily, turned her car on and began the journey to the restaurant she had made a reservation at prior to the movie. She checked the time before answering. “Ah, it’s that new Italian place down by the mall.” “Oh, cool! Have you heard if it’s good?” “Yeah, it’s got a lot of good reviews online. It was also honestly the only place I could find that the two of us haven’t both been to.” [Y/N] laughed gently. “Yeah, but who knew we’d end up being drawn to so many different places here?”

The time at the restaurant, much like the theater, was hard to pay attention to for Janis. Throughout the meal, even when she didn’t realize it, she could be caught practically staring at [Y/N] as they both ate their dishes. She managed to focus enough to answer any questions thrown her way and keep the conversation going, but had anyone asked what they talked about, she wouldn’t be able to answer.

By the time they had made it back to the car, [Y/N] was able to tell something was wrong. As soon as the car started and Janis pulled out onto the road to head toward her next plan, [Y/N] tapped her arm to get her attention. A hum slipped from the goth to show she had acknowledged the touch, though she kept her eyes on the road. “Are you alright? You’ve been really…quiet. Like, all day.”

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m still just really nervous about the whole surprise thing. Which…is where we’re going now.”

After she pulled up to an empty parking lot, Janis took a breath, practically freezing in her seat as [Y/N] slowly got out of the car. A moment or so later, at the sound of a knock on her window, the goth finally pulled her attention away from the steering wheel to find [Y/N] standing there, confused. Finally, she managed to pry herself out of the driver’s seat and close the door. She locked the car with trembling hands before wordlessly walking in a random direction. With a small squeak of surprise, [Y/N] jogged to catch up with her, immediately questioning where she was headed.

“Oh, right,” Janis muttered, glancing up at the now concerned girl for just a second. She turned around to face where she was walking again. “Sorry, I’m just…I’m leading you to where the surprise is, I just forgot to say that somehow.” “Oh.”

Too anxious, Janis couldn’t force herself to blurt anything out, too afraid of making small talk as they headed to where her source of anxiety was originating from. The entirety of the walk, [Y/N] trailed behind her and quickly told herself to just look around at the scenery. They had stopped at some kind of large park, though the part they were headed toward looked more like the entrance of the woods. The sight at the darker shade under the trees caused her nerves to spike, though she calmed down when Janis finally managed to mumble a really soft–almost inaudible–“we’re almost there.”

The closer they got to the wooded part of the field, the more concerned and puzzled [Y/N] grew. Finally, just as she was ready to ask if they were lost, or if Janis planned on killing her–which in her mind made sense, considering the goth had started acting weird in the past hour–Janis sighed and stepped to the side. She lifted and waved her arm, motioning toward a small setup partially in the shade. “We’re here.”

[Y/N] turned her focus to the setup, which made her gasp softly. It was a classic picnic scene: a red and white checkered blanket laid out neatly underneath a large oak tree, a small woven basket weighing one of the corners down, and a cooler for the drinks. However, a decently sized gift was wrapped up and was propped up against the bark. “Surprise,” Janis murmured, snapping [Y/N] out of her surprised trance.

“Oh, Janis,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.” Janis seemed surprised at her words, a small smile finally painting her lips again. “Really? I figured you’d find it cliche or something.” [Y/N] chuckled and gently nudged the goth’s shoulder. “I mean, you know I love a good cliche. It’s not a bad thing.”

After sharing an awkward grin, the two of them headed over to the blanket and sat down. They picked a few snacks from the basket on the corner, as well as a drink from the cooler, then ate slowly as they did their best to strike up a normal conversation. This worked for a very short amount of time, but [Y/N] eventually gave in and finally asked what it was all for, to which Janis grew nervous all over again.

She tried to find a way to segway smoothly into her confession, but eventually realized there was no point in trying to appear confident. She had blown that long ago. With a heavy sigh of defeat, she stared down at her lap, fiddling with the tab of her soda can to pull her attention away from the set of eyes on her. “Okay, I can’t keep this up anymore,” she began.

“I brought you here because I–” She swallowed hard and shut her eyes. It was just a confession. How hard could it possibly be?

“I brought you here, and did everything else today, to tell you that I really like you. Like, I’m in love with you. A-And I wanted to bring you here to ask you to be my girlfriend.” A moment passed where the two just sat in silence, and although she didn’t want to, Janis finally managed to open her eyes again to glance up at [Y/N]. She worried she had been completely ignored, but she mainly feared she was about to be made fun of by the one girl she actually had serious feelings for.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of [Y/N] blushing for the first time that evening, a small smile cracked across her lips. “Uh,” the goth stuttered. “It’s fine if you say no. When I told Damian about wanting to ask you out, he said I should make the whole thing special, so…here we are.” More silence, though Janis couldn’t tell that it was only there because [Y/N] couldn’t find the right words to express how she felt. After what felt like a whole hour to her, Janis finally sighed and put her drink down, readying herself to stand up. “This was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

As she began to lift herself off the blanket beneath her, a hand grasped her wrist, halting her movements and prompting her to sit down again. “No, I’m sorry, Jan! It wasn’t a mistake, I just…I never thought you’d actually ask.”

Janis could only gawk at her, mouth agape. “Huh?”

[Y/N] giggled at her reaction. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Janis.”

More laughter stemmed from Janis sitting there, purely dumbfounded as she visibly tried to process the words. Finally, a bright smile graced her lips, one wider than ever before. An excited glimmer shone in her eyes. “Wait, really? You would?” “Yeah, of course!”

Janis finally let out a laugh, then a sigh as she shifted to fall over and let her head land in [Y/N]’s lap. “Oh thank fucking god,” she blurted, causing the girl to chuckle and gaze down at her in slight bewilderment. “I’m so tired. I spent so much time planning this whole thing out. I wanted things to be perfect. I didn’t know you were going to say yes like it was the most obvious thing on earth.” They shared a laugh, the previously thick tension finally lifting.

“Yeah, no, I was always gonna say yes. But don’t worry, I really loved everything we did today. Uh, well, except when you were leading me to the woods and started acting weird. Thought I was about to be wiped from this planet.” Janis snickered again. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.” She grinned softly up at her, shifting to lean against [Y/N]’s stomach. “But I am glad you liked everything today. That’s a relief.”

[Y/N] beamed wider and nodded. She drove her free hand upwards to let her fingers rake through the goth’s dark strands, causing her to let her eyes to flutter shut and lean into the touch. They stayed like that for a while, but [Y/N] eventually had a small reminder pop into her head. “Oh, what’s the box against the tree for by the way?”

Janis’s eyes shot open again, a deep crimson red dusting her cheeks. “Ah, well…” She hesitantly sat up and stood long enough to pick up the present and hand it to [Y/N]. She sat back down next to her and watched as she carefully peeled open the gift. Once it was mostly torn away, [Y/N] gasped gently at the sight of a canvas with a portrait of her, glazed over nicely with Janis’s signature down in the bottom left corner, right next to a small note.

To the one person who has always seen the best in me and has never treated me poorly. I hope this painting does you justice.

Silently waiting for a response, Janis kept glancing over between the portrait and [Y/N], trying to gauge her reaction. When she got nothing, the overly anxious girl cleared her throat. “Do you…like it?” Finally, [Y/N] turned to face her. “Are you kidding? I fucking love it,” was her reply. Janis huffed out a sigh of relief from the reassurance and smirked, leaning against the other girl’s shoulder and closing her eyes again. “Jesus Christ, another huge relief. I love you so much.”

Softly, [Y/N] nuzzled her head against Janis’s, slipping one hand from the partially unwrapped canvas to lift it and cup the girl’s cheek, her fingertips lightly grazing her raven hair.

“I love you too.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Caught My Attention

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.41k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Hints of homophobia/slurs, language (?).

[A/N]: None.

Enjoy!

 “Janis, calm down, for god’s sake. You’re gonna pace a literal trench into the ground,” Damian voiced from the kitchen table, chuckling at seeing how uncharacteristically nervous his best friend was. The ravenette jutted her chin over to face him with a scowl at his comment, though concern still riddled her features, creasing her brows as she scoffed. “How am I supposed to calm down? You know damn well how long I’ve liked this girl, and you know I’ve wanted to ask her out for years now. If this doesn’t go right, and she doesn’t feel the same way, I-I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Cady, who had no idea who the two were talking about, watched the scene before her as she stood behind the island in the kitchen, her nails tapping anxiously at her plastic cup that she hadn’t taken a sip from since Janis left her seat. “Well,” the redhead started with a stutter, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t known Damian or Janis for very long, but even she was visibly surprised at how worried the goth seemed to be. “Maybe you should just focus on the positive?” Before Janis could bite back with a snarky retort, Damian chimed in again to agree. “Yeah, that’s what a lot of the group has to do for theater. It’s supposed to help with the nerves or something.”

An annoyed groan slipped through Janis’s lips as she ran her hands down her face. “Look, I know I shouldn’t be overthinking things, but it’s hard not to, okay? She just…she means so much to me. I don’t wanna make things awkward between us and lose her as a friend. I’ve known her longer than I’ve known you,” she said, lifting her hand to wave it in Damian’s direction, “and I just can’t lose all of that because of some stupid crush.”

At that statement, Cady left her spot behind the counter, setting her cup to the side to step closer to Janis and place a gentle hand to her shoulder. She had no idea how to comfort other people–she was still getting used to it–but she had seen girls in the hallway at school do similar things when talking, so she figured it was worth a shot. “Hey, look, I don’t know this girl, but if she caught your eye and makes you happy, then I don’t think that’s stupid. Do you really think that?” A moment passed with Janis glancing between the girl beside her and the hand still on her shoulder.

She let out a small sigh after a while, a defeated look forming on her face. “No, I guess not, but still. What if–” “Don’t focus on what ifs, okay? That’s what’s making you so nervous right now.” Again, Janis seemed at war with herself, though more confused about Cady’s sudden comfort. She chuckled quietly and nudged the redhead’s hand from her shoulder. “Since when did you know how to comfort people like that?” Cady laughed at herself with a shrug. “Honestly? Most of it is from what I’ve seen from those weird teen romance movies people told me to watch.”

The two of them shared a smile before Janis turned away, thinking silently to herself. Before Damian or Cady could ask if she was alright, she turned back to them, a genuine grin finally painting her lips. “Okay, okay, I’ll try to stay positive. But I’ve never confessed to anyone before, so–as much as I hate to say it–I’m gonna need the two of you to help.”

Somewhere along the way, while multiple suggestions were being thrown out for Janis’s confession, someone in the trio mentioned asking her to the prom, which was right around the corner. Janis was hesitant, voicing her concern about people making fun of her and [Y/N] for being “gay in public” like they often did to her alone–thanks to Regina. It took a little convincing, but she ultimately agreed.

Although she agreed to go to the prom with [Y/N], if she accepted, she managed to persuade Damian and Cady into letting her confess and ask her privately to avoid everything being ruined by one of her bullies.

She hated cheesy romance, and she especially hated cliches, but she was willing to step outside of her comfort zone if it meant she could be with the girl she loved. Over the weekend, they threw together a messy plan. Damian brought [Y/N] to a seemingly random field after school one day, which made [Y/N] genuinely wonder if she had said her final goodbyes ahead of time. Janis, who had managed to get the day off from work after classes, was waiting there for her, which instantly eased her spiked nerves. She led her to a more remote location after Damian drove off. After a couple minutes of walking, Janis finally stepped to the side to reveal a small setup that was mainly put together by Cady.

Underneath a large oak tree rested a thin checkered blanket, topped with a basket packed full with pastries, drinks, and small sandwiches. To the side, a large sign was strung up between one of the branches of the tree and an adjacent metal rod that was once a tetherball pole. In large letters, decorated with doodles and drawings that were very clearly made by Janis, was the question she hadn’t even known she would ever ask.

Will you go to prom with me?

The two of them sat down after [Y/N]’s initial shock wore off. Janis began unpacking the woven basket to avoid eye contact as she asked what her answer was, hinting that she was wanting to take their relationship to the next level. [Y/N] chuckled at her, prompting her small amount of confidence to begin crumbling. “Janis, I’m gonna be honest, I already thought we were dating, so I thought going to the prom together was a given.”

Never in her life had Janis grinned so wide.

They spent the rest of the day together, ending it with Janis sketching [Y/N] still sitting beside her and talking about their plans for the dance before Damian finally pulled back up to drive the two of them home. [Y/N] was first to be dropped off, leaving Damian and Cady, who was invited in case the confession went either way, to bombard the goth with endless questions about how it went. Completely lovestruck and excited, Janis held no irritation or annoyance in her tone at the questions she would’ve usually greeted with venom.

Upon seeing his best friend so thrilled about the events that had happened only a couple of hours prior, Damian seemed far more excited about the two getting together than Janis did. He not-so-jokingly started planning what songs they should play at their wedding and what kind of suit Janis should wear. The ravenette brushed him off with a playful shake of her head and shove, though the smile never left her face. The rest of the ride to drop her and Cady off separately, all she could think about is what [Y/N] would look like in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle towards her--how she would look wearing a band she gave her. Then she got to thinking of prom.

What kind of dress would she wear then?

Shortly after the confession, Janis and [Y/N] started to hang out far more often than they already did. There was a small tension between them, both too awkward to know what to do, though it was far from unbearable. Whenever there would be a long, outstretched period of silence, they’d usually bring up random memories they had made together, unsure of what else to speak of.

Three days before prom, the two of them managed to find a random movie neither of them had seen before. They bundled up together in [Y/N]’s bed as they watched it, snacking on a large bowl of popcorn that was washed down with the soda they had bought when they met up. Halfway through the film, which struggled to keep their attention anyway, [Y/N] turned to her girlfriend and tapped her shoulder. Janis turned to her and hummed curiously.

“I’ve been thinking about what to wear for prom, but I really don’t know what I should. I mean, I’ve never gone to a school dance before, so…never had to shop for a dress for one, y’know?” The goth nodded at her. “Yeah, I know. I’ve never been to one either–not with someone else anyway. But I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing some fancy-ass dress. Skirt? Maybe, but only if it’s long enough to cover my legs all the way. Don’t wanna be mistaken for the Plastics after all. By the way, have you noticed that Karen’s skirts are getting, like, half an inch shorter every single week?”

[Y/N] chuckled at her comment, making her smile without realizing it. “Hey, don’t speak too soon. Next thing you know, she’s gonna be walking around in bikini underwear.” Janis shrugged with a laugh of her own. “I don’t know, she kinda already is. I wouldn’t put it past her.”

They snickered at the remark. When she quieted down again, [Y/N] shuffled over to let her head rest on top of Janis’s shoulder, making the girl tense lightly and blush at the sudden contact. “But anyway, I was thinking. Now that I know that neither of us has ever really done this before, maybe we could try to surprise each other? Make it that much more memorable.” The goth hummed, finally letting her own head drop down to rest on top of [Y/N]’s.

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Not entirely sure if I’d be able to find something that would make me look as good as you will.” Playfully, [Y/N] let her hand gently smack Janis’s abdomen. “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. You’re beautiful–always have been.” Janis turned away shyly at that, her free arm coming up far enough to let her scratch the back of her neck. “Oh, I don’t know about that.” They argued back and forth for a bit about who’s prettier, and eventually stopped when they yawned. “I'm pretty sure I’m gonna crash, but don’t think this is over,” Janis teased, scooting up further on the bed to allow herself to lay her head down properly on her pillow. “It is. I win. You’re prettier,” [Y/N] replied, mirroring her motions.

They murmured to each other as they slowly fell asleep, still telling the other that they were prettier.

Days passed, and it was finally the day of the prom. Janis had chosen a suit in shades of black and purple, tying her hair up in a more formal fashion. She had planned on heading home before the prom to have time to get changed and steel her nerves, though she and Damian ended up sitting on one of the stairwells towards the main rear entrance to the school. The cool tile beneath them made Janis shiver and move to tuck her skirt further underneath her legs.

The two of them seemed to talk mindlessly about anything and everything. Neither of them realized what time it was until Damian finally looked up at one of the clocks hanging up towards the ceiling. “Oh shit,” he mumbled, looking down at his watch to confirm. Janis checked the clock as well, cursing under her breath as she moved to stand. A hand gripped her wrist firmly and tugged her back down. She looked over at her friend in confusion. “What the hell, man? I’ve gotta get back to my house to get changed.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about that. I actually brought your suit here in my car because I knew we were gonna stay late.” Now completely puzzled, Janis tilted her head. “You knew? What the fuck is this?” Damian smirked. “Yeah, [Y/N] and I planned a surprise. I wanted you to see her ahead of time. Her dress?” He pinched his fingers together and pressed them to his lips, kissing the tips of them before pulling his hand away and spreading his fingers wide. “Incredible. You’re gonna love it.” “You mean you’ve already seen it?” “Yeah, but only by itself. I haven’t seen her wear it yet. I know you’re gonna be blown away though. It’s pretty simple, but it’s definitely your style.”

“And that’s how you know I’m gonna like it, huh?” Damian nodded and grinned pridefully, crossing his arms and glancing back up at the time. “Yep. And she should be here any minute now.”

As if on cue, [Y/N]’s form emerged from the nearest hallway. With how Janis was angled, she couldn’t see her yet, but Damian could. His smile widened at the sight of her. “Holy shit,” he mumbled. “Yeah, you’re definitely gonna love it.” He could already picture his best friend’s reaction before she had it.

With now spiked nerves, Janis slowly turned her head at the sound of footsteps. Her mouth hung slightly agape as more and more of her girlfriend came into view, a deep shade of crimson dusting her cheeks as she froze. As the two of them made eye contact, [Y/N] shyly pulled her arm from behind her back to wave. “Hey,” she managed to whisper. Slowly, Janis rose to her feet to be closer to eye-level. Her green eyes traveled down [Y/N]’s figure, admiring the dress. As Damian had said, it was a fairly simple design: a black lace dress with extra fringe on the hem, which draped down to end about an inch or two above her knees. To match, she wore black dress shoes with small heels built in, basic floral designs etched into the toes.

A small chuckle managed to snap Janis out of whatever trance she stayed in for what felt like forever. She didn’t glance over to look, but she knew that it was Damian once she felt an elbow gently nudge her arm. “Damn, Janis. I’ve never seen you speechless like this before,” he teased, snickering when the ravenette could only blink in response, her gaze never leaving [Y/N].

“Holy shit, you look…” She managed to step forward and gently take [Y/N]’s hands into her own, her eyes once again studying her outfit and figure. “You look amazing. That dress looks perfect on you.” Shyly, [Y/N] smiled wider and lowered her head to hide the growing shade of red across her face. “Oh, thanks. I tried to think of what you might like, and this was pretty much all I could find on such short notice. I’m glad you like it.”

As Janis struggled to wrack her brain for something else to say to break the silence, Damian slipped away to his car, snatching the goth’s suit from the backseat and bringing it back inside. When he found the two of them again, he gently poked Janis’s arm, smirking as he watched her struggle to tear her eyes away to glance over at him. “I don’t know if you plan on going in that outfit or not, but the dance is supposed to start in fifteen minutes, so I’d suggest you suit up.”

Finally, Janis managed to nod and properly turn away to grab ahold of the suit. She murmured a quick, “be right back,” to [Y/N] before dashing to the nearest restroom to get changed. She had to mentally scream at herself to slow down so she wouldn’t accidentally tear or wrinkle the freshly pressed suit. Before leaving to find the two again, she checked herself in the mirror, quickly readjusting her hair into the neater bun it had been in all day. Her hands slid down her blazer to smooth it out even further. She sucked in a quick breath, glanced at her appearance once more, and finally left.

She met [Y/N], now alone, in front of the entrance to the auditorium, which had barely been opened within the past few minutes. A handful of students and staff had already made their way inside and started fixing themselves cups of the provided punch that centered itself in a bowl on a large table towards the side.

Before stepping inside, Janis gently took [Y/N]’s hand into her own and tugged her aside. In a whisper, she finally asked what she had been stressing about the entire time. “Are you sure you’re okay being seen with me? I mean, being seen together like this? I can understand if you don’t wanna deal with people treating you like shit because of it.” A confused tilt of the head was her response at first. “What do you mean?”

Janis sighed and glanced down at the floor beneath her. “You know. Like how Regina told everyone I like girls and how people call me–” she sucked in a breath to stop herself. “Certain names.” [Y/N] gently squeezed her hand in a reassuring motion. “Oh, I don’t care about all that. They can all fuck themselves, honestly. It’s none of their business.” Janis blinked, slightly caught off guard by the sudden use of language. [Y/N] hardly cussed so easily. It was usually hilarious to her when she did, but this time it felt strangely comforting.

She grinned softly. “So you really aren’t afraid to do this with me?” [Y/N] returned her smile. “No, not at all. I’d be proud to be seen with you.” Janis’s heart fluttered, a feeling she had long forgotten until the recent months when she finally realized just how serious her feelings were for this girl.

“Yeah,” she murmured. Her hand shifted a bit to allow her to interlock her fingers with [Y/N]’s. She squeezed her hand softly against her own palm, finally making eye contact again, accompanied with a far more confident smirk.

“I’d be proud to be seen with you too.”

Just as the two of them had expected, there were several students who glanced at them with disapproving looks. It bothered Janis for a while when the dances began, but after [Y/N] managed to find a way to keep her attention on her, she was able to completely ignore her insecurities. A few fast-paced songs blared through the large speakers at the end of the room, leaving [Y/N] and Janis laughing as they struggled to keep up with the beat. Finally, the music began to slow, and Janis found herself pulling [Y/N] closer.

With her sheepishness left at the door, [Y/N] beamed up at the ravenette gleefully. She hummed and glanced down at the suit she was wearing. “I wasn’t able to say it earlier since we were trying to get in before everyone else, but you look so damn good in that suit,” she managed to say over the music. Even with its much slower pace, the song still reverberated loudly throughout the large room.

Janis couldn’t help but blush at the sudden bluntness of the compliment. She chuckled, glancing down for only a moment. “Thanks,” she mouthed, her suddenly shy tone too soft to be heard over the noise buzzing from the speakers the two of them had accidentally drifted too close to. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly, wanting so desperately to free the outpour of compliments bubbling up in her throat. She finally gave up after realizing she wasn’t able to project loud enough in the moment, instead laughing and tugging [Y/N] even closer.

The two of them settled against each other as they swayed side to side. After glancing up at her to confirm that it was okay, [Y/N] gently lowered her head to rest against Janis’s shoulder, the tip of her nose barely grazing over the skin of the ravenette’s neck. A muffled shudder was her only response for a moment, though Janis’s head soon moved to lean against her own. The two closed their eyes just as Janis realized she could now speak audibly into [Y/N]’s ear. There, her lips parted to finally speak again.

“You know, I’m not one for surprises, but… I really am glad that we agreed to surprise each other tonight. You were right about it being more memorable.”

[Y/N] giggled and nodded. “Told you so.”

Janis playfully scoffed and rolled her eyes, though she still moved to press her lips gently against the girl’s temple. “Yeah, I guess you did.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Possessive?

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.45k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of feeling possessive, language (?), implications of feeling like a burden.

[A/N]: This is based off of the movie from 2004, not the musical, but I changed a few things to help it better fit today: the characters have modern cellphones and use social media such as TikTok and Instagram.

Enjoy!

 Janis was well aware of how her mannerisms could come across to others who didn’t understand her. She knew that sometimes, even if she tried her hardest to prove otherwise, she came across as overprotective and possessive of her loved ones. When she had been friends with Regina back in middle school, things started to spiral. Regina soon started dating, only a few months shy of moving up into her first year of high school, and started to ignore Janis more and more, especially once things were official with her very first boyfriend. Janis, who had grown accustomed to spending every day with Regina, would text and call her relentlessly. The two of them would make plans, only for the blonde to cancel last minute without letting her know, essentially ghosting her each time.

After this happened a few times, Janis grew apart from the others and left the school for the rest of the year, cutting ties with Regina. When she returned to start her Freshman year of high school, she had a whole new style. Finding comfort in her new gothic aesthetic, she finally began to express herself the way she wanted, long forgetting about the bright shades of pink Regina would force her to wear in middle school. Because of this sudden change, Regina made it known she didn’t approve by convincing others to poke fun at her, progressively growing more aggressive with her bullying. After all, how would it look if she was still friends with the "weird punk girl?"

Soon after she started to become an outcast, Janis distanced herself from others, all except Damian and her fellow art lovers. She found solace in the company of her friends. She sat with them at lunch, chatting away about art projects and contests coming up in town. It was hard for her to connect with others outside of her circle, too worried there would be another repeat of what happened with the one girl she thought would be her best friend for life.

A student transferred into the school one day, however, and immediately caught Janis’s eye. She was introduced to the class, gleefully waving to everyone as she spoke her name, and was guided to sit beside the goth at the back of the classroom. Right away, Janis grew obsessed with her. From the moment they first spoke, [Y/N] was always on her mind. She was dressed similarly to Regina, although she never wore pink. Instead, she wore muted shades of yellow, green, and blue. Her style was comforting in comparison to the eyesore the Plastics wore everyday.

Even with her brighter clothes and nature, [Y/N] seemed to have more in common with Janis than either of them would’ve thought. Both were openly vocal about their opinions, not necessarily caring about anyone else’s views, albeit [Y/N] tended to take on a more open-minded approach. The two of them could also frequently be heard coming back at someone with a clever, snarky remark when insulted or teased. What drew Janis to her most, however, was her love for art. She was silently grateful that the two of them shared the same art class. Eagerly, they’d babble away about what either of them were working on. For each group project, Janis would ask if she could work with [Y/N] instead of whoever she was already paired with, to which the teacher would reluctantly agree.

Rather shortly after their first meeting together, Janis invited [Y/N] to her table, not entirely surprised to see that she got along with everyone immediately upon sitting down. Damian noticed Janis’s interest in her instantly, and once again, Janis wasn’t surprised when he started to taunt her relentlessly for it. He’d even begun to message her back and forth. Here and there, when the texts would grow too frequent too shortly, she’d block him for an hour or two before unblocking him to message him back and ask if he wanted to hang out.

One day, while mindlessly swirling her spoon around in her half full pudding cup as she curled up on the couch, Janis sheepishly admitted that he was right about her feelings for the newcomer to their group. Damian cheered triumphantly and bragged about how he knew it the whole time, laughing when he received a playful elbow jab to the arm or gut. Eventually, he set the teasing aside and asked her if she planned on confessing to her and asking her out. She shrugged, expressing her worry that [Y/N] wasn’t into girls or that she would laugh at her for taking an interest in her. Damian stared at her for a moment as if she were crazy.

“Uh, hello? Janis, are you insane? Have you not heard the way she talks about women? There’s no way in hell she isn’t as gay as you.” Janis rolled her eyes at his words, but reflected on them regardless, wondering to herself if she might have a chance with her. “Well, yeah, maybe. But what if she does say yes to dating, and then Regina or someone else finds out and makes fun of her for it? I don’t want her to deal with all of that shit. For fuck's sake, she just joined the school.” Damian shrugged. “Hey, she seems to be pretty tough. Like you.”

After a few weeks of planning, cowering, and chickening out of her plans, Janis finally managed to invite [Y/N] to her house when her parents were away for the night. The two of them watched a few movies while snacking on junk food, gossiped for a bit, and then bundled up under blankets as the mood shifted. Janis had turned in her spot on the sofa to gaze over at [Y/N], her eyelids lowered as she got lost in thought. [Y/N] noticed Janis’s staring after a while and questioned her about it, worried she had something on her face as she subconsciously swiped at her mouth. Janis chuckled at her motion and shook her head.

“No, nothing’s on your face. I just…” She sucked in a breath, unsure of how to carry out her confession. Her mind wandered back to a few hours prior when she had been talking to Damian about what she should say. She sighed, her teeth catching her bottom lip for a moment before she finally looked back up at the girl seated in front of her, who was now gazing at her with curiosity.

It took several tries, but Janis was eventually able to tell her about her feelings. There was an overwhelming wave of relief that washed over her upon learning that [Y/N] was interested in women. Uncharacteristically, the goth fell silent, too shy to ask the question burning on her tongue. Her eyes dropped down to focus on her nails picking at one another as she tried her best to steel her nerves. Finally, after swallowing the lump she hadn’t even realized formed in her throat, she managed to squeak her question out.

“Would you wanna go out with me?”

She freaked out after a soft giggle came as her reply. Her head lowered, allowing her to hide her disappointment-filled eyes behind her fringe. “Sorry,” [Y/N] murmured, gently grasping Janis’s shoulder. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. Not about your confession anyway. I’ve just never seen you this shy before. It’s nice seeing this side of you.”

Janis sighed softly in relief at her words, smiling and finally lifting her head back up. “So, is that a yes?” [Y/N] grinned, shifted over on the couch cushion, and placed a small peck to the ravenette’s cheek. “Of course it’s a yes, you dork. How could I say no?”

After talking about a few boundaries after they started dating, Janis began to proudly show her girlfriend off, sneering at anyone who would glance at her wrong. And just as if it were clockwork, Janis was once again starting to come across as possessive. [Y/N] would record a small video or take a quick selfie to post to her Instagram or TikTok, and Janis would always be seen in the frame in one way or another. She’d do whatever she could come up with, wanting to set a reminder that [Y/N] was hers.

When taking a picture in bed to send to a friend on Snapchat or through chat, Janis was touching her in some way, whether it be an arm draped casually around her waist, stroking her hair, or just laying directly on top of her. When taking a mirror selfie, she’d stand behind her and hug her from behind, or casually be doing something in the reflection, such as untying and retying her boots or pretending to check something on her phone. She wanted it to be known that [Y/N] was taken. When they had to go their separate ways for a bit, she'd not-so-casually drape one of her trademark army jackets over [Y/N]'s shoulders, kiss her on the cheek, and tell her she'd see her in a bit. Then, when she was in classes without her, Janis would start sketching [Y/N] from memory. She'd come back to them later when [Y/N] was in front of her to clean the illustrations up.

She wasn’t overbearing with her tendencies, however. Not once did she have a problem with [Y/N] going out on her own or wearing something that showed off her body. On the contrary, she encouraged her to wear what she was comfortable with and be independent out in public. After all, she wasn’t going to be able to stay with her every second of every day, even if she wished she could. She’d compliment her on each of her outfits and even make suggestions that would help her feel more confident, such as framing certain parts of her body.

And after what happened with Regina a few years prior, she made sure not to overwhelm [Y/N] with calls and texts where she was constantly questioning her about where she was at all times. There were times when she would call back-to-back, but those instances only happened when she grew worried. Janis would ask her to let her know when she made it home safely, but if she never received that text, she would start calling to make sure she was okay.

The only time she would make it clear that she was going to go with [Y/N], no matter where she was going, was when she knew Regina or someone close to Regina would be there. The last thing she wanted was [Y/N] being cornered and made fun of without her there to stand in. She knew [Y/N] was fine on her own and that she could defend herself just fine, but she also knew Regina–she knew how brutal and manipulative she could be. She didn’t want [Y/N] to suffer with the same kind of bullying she already had to deal with herself.

During arguments with other students, including Karen and Gretchen, Janis usually blew them off with a quick, witty remark and walked away, not wanting to deal with the headache they would cause if she gave in. Whenever she saw [Y/N] being picked on, however, she would lose her cool. Insults and sarcastic comments would spill from her lips with a terrifying accuracy, never afraid to cause a scene if it meant the person picking the fight would leave [Y/N] alone. More often than not, a teacher, staff member, or even [Y/N] herself would have to pull Janis away and help her calm down. Not even Damian had ever seen her grow so aggressive towards someone–even when Regina was involved.

On more than one instance, Damian truly thought Janis was about to get into a fistfight with whoever she was arguing with.

Even when the two of them were alone, whether it be at [Y/N] or Janis’s house, the goth would get defensive over her. There had been a time towards the end of the first semester when a new dance was growing popular on TikTok, and [Y/N] hopped on the trend almost immediately. It wasn’t necessarily suggestive, but it certainly wasn’t modest either. To add onto the tone of the song, [Y/N] put on a bit of a revealing outfit to fit in with the other dancers.

She had set her phone up in the den of Janis’s home, having been there for the past couple of days to keep her company while her parents were away on a vacation that Janis didn’t want to have any part of. As the countdown timer for the video went off, Janis happened to peek over from the doorway leading into the kitchen, wondering what was going on. As soon as the dance started, that familiar feeling took over her senses. A couple of seconds in, she leaned against the doorway, watching as [Y/N] cussed to herself under her breath, stepped forward, crouched down, picked her phone up, and stopped the recording.

As she started the video over and repositioned it and herself to try again, Janis silently stepped forward into the frame. When [Y/N] shifted to let her hips move back a bit for a move, the ravenette--now standing directly behind her--moved closer and slipped her arms around the shorter girl’s waist. She tugged her firmly against her own torso and gently dropped her chin onto [Y/N]’s shoulder, glaring at the camera and lifting her hand to flip it off.

She knew Regina was likely going to watch the video if it were to be posted, so she wanted to send a “friendly” reminder that [Y/N] is off limits and she has someone with her to help her fight off any teasing she may throw her way. In the back of her mind, she knew Regina would comment on how controlling and possessive she was coming across as–a repeat of their final year in middle school–but she didn’t care at that point. It would crush her if she knew someone was making fun of her girlfriend when she could easily prevent it. Or, at the very least, lessen how aggressive it was.

[Y/N] smiled and chuckled at her actions, letting the pad of her thumb glide across Janis’s arm as she leaned back to kiss her softly on the cheek. “Hun, it’s fine. I’m yours, okay? You know that.” Hesitantly, Janis let go of her and stepped back, allowing her to stop the recording again. She typed something into the caption, then started the video over, asking Janis to let her finish the dance. Janis agreed and stood back a bit further.

She watched as [Y/N] carried out the entirety of the dance. At the end, there were still a few seconds left where the song played freely. [Y/N] improvised a few moves as she chuckled, pulling Janis towards her at the end and letting her wrap her arms around her again. She pressed another kiss to the girl’s cheek and slid forward in an attempt to end the recording. Janis caught her, however, by carefully gripping her hips and tugging them back against her own. She pressed a kiss to [Y/N]’s shoulder with a small smile before finally letting her go.

 She watched with a content grin as [Y/N] picked up her phone and twirled around to face her, smiling ear to ear as she bounced over to stand in front of her again. She tapped a few buttons on her phone before pulling the ravenette into a hug. “I honestly didn’t think I was gonna be able to figure out how to do the whole dance in one go,” she murmured as she leaned back, smirking at the feeling of Janis’s arms resting around her waist.

With a quick motion, she slipped from the goth’s embrace long enough to grab ahold of her hand and tug her towards the couch. As she did so, she snatched the remote from the coffee table and plopped herself down on the middle cushion. Janis followed suit, sitting down closer to the armrest. She watched as [Y/N] clicked the TV on and scrolled to YouTube to browse through the random videos suggested to her, asking which one they should watch first. Janis shrugged and hummed. “Whatever sounds good to you.”

After a moment or two, [Y/N] managed to settle on a video and turned it on. Before she could get comfortable, her phone began to ding and buzz repeatedly, prompting her to glance down at the several notifications popping up on her lockscreen.

She looked over at Janis, who had clearly noticed the sudden attention, and beamed at her. “It’s just people on TikTok talking about the dance. Nothing bad.” She held up her phone to reveal the likes and comments rolling in on the videos she had just posted. Surprised, Janis’s eyebrows raised as she scanned the screen. “You posted it? I figured you would’ve waited until you didn’t have to worry about me ruining it.”

“What? Why would you ruin it?” Janis shrugged and averted her gaze, glancing between the carpeted floor and the TV screen. Her arm lifted far enough for her chipped, painted nails to scratch anxiously at the back of her neck. “Ah, I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried I’m too much sometimes. I don’t want you to think I’m, like, obsessed or something. I mean, I am, but not in some kind of controlling way, y’know? At least, that’s not how I’m trying to have it come across.” She murmured on a bit longer, trailing off and sighing when [Y/N] laughed softly at her rambling. “Sorry,” she whispered much softer.

“No, no, don’t apologize. I think it’s cute when you ramble like that. And don’t worry, it’s not coming across like that at all. Not to me, anyway. In fact, I actually find it kind of attractive when you get all protective over me.” Janis’s head perked up at her words. “Really?” “Yep.”

She smiled, her tense features softening as she nodded. “I’m glad.”

She glanced back at the TV for a second before shuffling forward, sliding behind [Y/N] to hold her and let her lean into her chest. Softly, she let her head plant itself against the girl’s shoulder, hiding the lower half of her face. She peeked out from behind [Y/N]’s hair and watched her tap away randomly at different posts she scrolled past, liking and saving a few here and there. After a moment, Janis let her hand slide up [Y/N]’s torso and down her arm to link their hands together. She squeezed her hand gently.

Too shy to ask right out, Janis leaned her head to the side to nudge [Y/N]’s neck. “You, uh,” she started. “You don’t think I’m too much, do you?” Although she couldn’t see it, a wide smile cracked across [Y/N]’s lips. She clicked back onto TikTok and onto her profile, pulling up her recent video and angling it to let Janis see it from her position and read the caption.

Janis grinned upon seeing her girlfriend’s dance on the screen, humming and nodding once it was finished. [Y/N] swiped to the next video she had posted. Janis then watched the second video, cringing a bit at her own actions being played back to her, but glancing down at the caption that caught her eye.

My knight in shining armor shielding me from all the creeps.🤺❤️

She chuckled softly and swatted teasingly at [Y/N]’s arm. “You dork. You know how corny that sounds?” [Y/N] laughed with her and nodded. “Yeah, I know. That’s the point. You know I love a good cliche.” They smiled at each other, slowly leaning in to share a small, chaste kiss. [Y/N] leaned further into Janis’s touch. She sighed at the feeling of the strong, warm arms around her waist, focusing on the comfort for a moment before speaking again to finally answer the question she had been asked.

Her free hand slid down after dropping her phone, allowing her to cup the side of Janis’s face that wasn’t pressed against her neck. The tips of her fingers gingerly fiddled with the tips of her fringe that tickled her skin, brushing them away enough to let her stroke the soft skin on the ravenette’s cheek. At the feathery feeling, Janis’s eyes fluttered shut. She sighed silently and opened her eyes again when she heard [Y/N] speaking.

“But no, I don’t ever think you’re too much.”

[fr3sh-tragedies]

One-Sided

[The Owl House] Boscha x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.82k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Pure angst: one-sided love, a small fight at the end between Amity and Boscha, toxic (?) friendships, language.

[A/N]: Final story for Boscha for now. It might take a while for me to upload again, but it's because I've got multiple drafts already written for several other characters that I need to finish.

Enjoy!

 “Amity, look at Boscha,” Skara whispered with a knowing smirk as she nudged Amity’s shoulder to gain her attention. Amity, who had been staring down blankly at her book, unable to study with all the nearby commotion, huffed and flipped the cover shut. She lifted her head to glance up at Skara, then followed where she was pointing. From surprise, her eyebrows raised. “Did she forget that other people are around?” She replied just as quietly. Even from her angle at her seat in the middle of her group’s cafeteria table, Amity was able to watch as Boscha held up her scroll.

She had been asked to take a picture of a few people, one of which was [Y/N] [L/N], the girl everyone knew Boscha had fallen for. She had her camera up on her screen, but it was very clear that she had zoomed in to get a visible shot of [Y/N] instead. A soft crimson managed to dust itself across the witch’s features as she bit back a smile. Before she turned her scroll to show the group, she snapped a much quicker photo after carelessly zooming back out in an attempt to hide what she had just done. [Y/N] grinned upon seeing the group photo and thanked her. She asked Boscha to send her the photo before she sat back down at the table across from Amity.

Boscha enthusiastically agreed and typed away on her screen. Within seconds, [Y/N]’s phone went off to show she had done as requested. She grinned up at the taller girl, whose face reddened even further as she giddily took a seat next to her. “Thanks!” “Yeah, no problem.”

Curiously, Amity cocked an eyebrow at her. When Boscha turned and made eye contact, she seemed awkward about something–almost as if she was wanting to ask a question. Instead, she turned to the surface of the table in front of her, her gaze landing on a drink she had brought in with her a few moments ago. With a small breath to steel her spiked nerves, she slid the drink over to [Y/N], who glanced over at it with confusion.

“I heard you liked that drink from a few people, so I figured I’d get it for you.” The grin she was met with as a reply made her own lips stretch up into a wide smile. “Oh, thanks! You didn’t have to do that.” “It was no problem, really.” Almost immediately, [Y/N] took a sip from the small cup, humming happily in satisfaction once she placed it back down.

Amity could see how Boscha got lost in a daze–much like the ones she found herself in once Luz arrived in the Demon Realm. The three-eyed witch’s gaze softened, a small smirk playing at her lips again as she continued to stare at [Y/N], who had turned away a bit to strike up a conversation with Amelia and Kat once they questioned the drink. Happily, [Y/N] explained to them that Boscha had bought the drink for her out of the kindness in her heart, to which the other girls glanced at each other. “That’s awfully sweet of you, Boscha,” Kat snickered. Boscha hadn’t even paid attention to the conversation, which was evident from the way she blinked at the sound of her name and finally managed to tear her eyes away from the girl sitting next to her. “Huh?”

Stifled chuckles were her response. She glanced at them in confusion, but ultimately shrugged it off and turned her attention back to [Y/N]. Amity pretended to open her book to continue reading, but she kept her hearing focused on what Boscha said, all the way up to where the bell rang. She had pretty much been talking about nothing at first, but eventually asked [Y/N] if she’d be at her “big Grudgby game” in a few days.

[Y/N] assured her she would be and started packing up her things from the table. She stood to toss her empty tray into the bin once the bell went off, then slugged her backpack onto her shoulders, still sipping from the drink Boscha had gotten her. She waved to the table and told them she’d see them at lunch. Before she could make it to the cafeteria door, however, Boscha practically bolted up from her own seat and darted over to catch up to the smaller girl, offering to walk her to her class.

No one at the table saw it, but they all knew [Y/N] had accepted her offer.

A groan of pure annoyance slipped past Skara and Amity’s lips as they tried their best to tune out Boscha’s words. All day every day, for the past several days, Boscha had been talking almost nonstop about [Y/N]. It only worsened after the final Grudgby match of the season, where she had shamelessly tried to flirt with [Y/N] after meeting up with her after the game. She messed up each line she tried to use, but didn’t mind it when the sound of [Y/N]’s sweet giggles met her in reply. It was hard for her team to witness, only because they had never seen Boscha act that way around anyone before.

That, and they weren’t sure how to let her know that [Y/N] wasn't interested in her in that way.

On top of the entire match being awkward, it had been clear that Boscha was trying to show off the entire time. More than she usually did, anyway. This time it was obvious why she was doing it. It wasn’t because she wanted to intimidate her opponents, nor was it because she wanted to impress her own team. Instead, she was showing off to an extreme because she wanted to catch a certain girl’s eye. She hadn’t been so aggressive during the first round, but that almost instantly changed once she finally spotted [Y/N] in the bleachers cheering her on.

Today seemed to be worse than the others. From the moment she walked in the building, Boscha had been talking nonstop about her, all but gushing about how incredible of a person she was. “Oh my Titan. Boscha, could we please talk about something else? Anything else? Anything at all,” Skara whined as the three of them sat down at their table for lunch. “Yeah,” Amity started, equally as exhausted, “I know I was pretty bad when I first started crushing on Luz, but I knew when to stop talking about her the way you’re talking about [Y/N]. I mean, talking about a conversation or a game or something is one thing, but the way you’re pouring out compliments left and right is kind of… tiring.”

“Yeah. Plus, there’s no way you have a chance with her,” Skara muttered, thinking no one had heard her. Amity stiffened in her seat, her breath hitching as her head snapped over to glare at her and her hand lifted to smack her arm. Upon realizing what she had said wasn’t just heard by herself, Skara gasped silently and covered her mouth, wishing she could take her words back. No one in the group had the heart to break the news to Boscha. They didn’t want to either.

Ever since [Y/N] had torn down her walls, Boscha started to soften up and take on a much kinder approach when dealing with others. They didn’t want her to find out the truth and revert back to her old ways. They were proud of her for showing she was willing to change for the better, and they didn’t want to ruin it for her or anyone else.

Boscha frowned as she turned to them. “What do you mean? Wouldn’t she tell me if she wasn’t interested? I’m pretty sure it’s clear to her what I’m doing. I mean, it’s obvious to everyone else, apparently.” She grimaced and looked down at her hands, watching as she tapped away at the backs of her hands with her nails. “I thought I was hiding it well, honestly.” Amity sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, mentally preparing herself for the conversation she knew she couldn’t avoid any longer. Silently, she turned to Skara and gave a small motion, to which Skara nodded and stood, slipping away to another table and making sure the others left them alone.

“Boscha, I have to be honest with you. I can’t see you do this to yourself any longer. Just… promise me you won’t freak out and make a scene, okay?” Now, with her expression entirely riddled and contorted with confusion, Boscha could only nod. She subconsciously felt her hand sneak up to toy with the charms on her bracelet–the one that [Y/N] had given to her as a thank you for her first gift after stumbling into the Isles.

Letting out a shaky exhale, Amity pulled out her scroll and clicked onto a specific conversation she’d had with [Y/N] about a week or two prior. Upon finding it, she turned it around for Boscha to see, watching as she scanned through the messages. A nervous chuckle escaped her throat as she gripped at her charms tightly now. “Wh-What is this?” Amity frowned. “You know what it is, Boscha. These are texts between [Y/N] and myself. And, based on your reaction, you read the whole thing.” The taller witch now averted her gaze and dipped her head down to hide her face, staring at her lap.

Attempting to comfort her, Amity placed her hand on Boscha’s shoulder, only for it to be shrugged off. “I’m sorry, Boscha. I figured you would’ve found out for yourself, but I guess you were too focused on how you felt for her instead.” She waited, staring expectantly at her for some kind of reaction. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“She already likes someone else.”

The moment the words left her mouth, Amity could only watch as Boscha trembled before forcing herself to stand. She picked up her bag and finally looked back at the youngest Blight, whose eyes widened only a fraction once seeing how dull Boscha’s eyes now seemed to be. “Tell the rest of the teachers that I wasn’t feeling good, alright? I’m going home.” She nodded as an answer and frowned as her eyes followed Boscha leaving the room.

She glanced back over at Skara, who was already looking over at her. Her features crinkled with concern, a sign she wanted to know what happened. Amity huffed, ran her hands down her face, then moved to join her and the others at the other table to explain.

 Nearly a month had passed since Boscha was made aware of [Y/N]’s feelings for someone else. For the first two weeks, she tried to move past it and pretend she was still fine. She wanted others to think she was mature enough to understand it wasn’t the end of the world. She knew it wasn’t, logically speaking, but it felt so much like everything was crumbling around her. She had been trying to change herself for [Y/N], hoping to catch her eye, only for it to all fall apart.

Amity tried to tell her that she shouldn’t have been trying to better herself just to impress someone, but quickly stopped bringing it up after seeing how distraught Boscha seemed at the mere mention of anything that had happened. [Y/N] hadn’t been made aware of anything, although she thought Boscha knew anyway. She could still sense something was wrong, however, and slowly shifted where she sat in the cafeteria to give the witch some space. Ultimately, she ended up sitting at the table Luz shared with Willow and Gus.

It only sent Boscha spiraling further. Soon enough, she started to hide from the others during the times they’d usually meet up. During breakfast and lunch at school, she’d eat in the auditorium, out by the Grudgby field, or would skip eating altogether. Anytime Skara or Kat tried to invite her to hang out with them like they used to, she’d come up with some excuse to stay home.

As much as she hated teenage angst, and as much as she knew she was likely being overdramatic, Boscha couldn’t help but feel heartbroken. Her world seemed to shatter around her. She eventually stopped attending Grudgby practices and matches, only showing up when absolutely necessary to avoid getting kicked off of the team. To add insult to injury, because of her absences, she was demoted from Team Captain, the role instead being given to Skara.

It made it harder for her to keep attending classes or practice, even after Skara offered to ask the coach to give her the role back. Boscha denied it and told her she’d give the team a better chance anyway before ghosting her again, the same way she had been doing to everyone. It became rare for anyone to get a response from her. Most of the time, she could be found lying face up on her bed, her eyes blank and dull as she mindlessly stared up at the ceiling. She knew her social life was ruined, and she knew she needed to start moving on, but even a small glimpse of [Y/N] or something that reminded her of the girl had her curling up and away from the outside world all over again.

Amity and the others had to start bringing her the schoolwork she had missed, much to the dismay of their teachers. They eased up, however, once being made aware of the situation. They sympathized with her, but still continued to tell her she needed to try to keep up. After all, a love life wouldn’t get you anywhere in life. You needed to focus only on your future career, and that included any work that was involved. That’s what Amity’s mother, Odalia, had been saying anyway.

Amity eventually stopped bringing the events up around her family. Boscha had enough on her plate. She didn’t need her mother complaining to Boscha’s moms about it–that would only lead to them bombarding her with endless questions and unintentionally making her feel more guilty.

One day, Boscha seemed a little more hopeful than she had been. She came back to school and managed to make it throughout the whole day, attending each of her classes and even participating as much as she could. When Amity asked if she was feeling better, Boscha grinned, though it was clear it was forced. “Not exactly,” she muttered. She yawned, the lack of sleep visibly getting to her. “But I think there’s still a chance.”

Before Amity could ask what she meant, the final bell of the day rang, echoing down the halls to announce the dismissal. Boscha almost immediately headed out the door and hopped onto her staff once making it outside the building. She flew off. Amity sighed and looked over at the now empty seat next to her, spotting Boscha’s bag still resting on the ground.

She picked it up and carried it in front of her as she walked out to place her books in her locker. Once making it there, she gently let the bag settle on the ground in front of her, then tugging her books out from her own backpack and tucking them away in the large maw of her locker. “Amity, hey!” Luz called out, joining her over towards the wall. “Whose bag is this? I saw you carrying it over here. Is it some kind of collection of yours? Maybe like the ones Eda has piled up everywhere?”

Softly, Amity laughed at her excitedly laced words and shook her head. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s Boscha’s bag. She left it in class by accident.” Luz tilted her head, now concerned. “She forgot her whole bag? Jeez.” A short moment passed. She wanted to think ahead of how Amity might react to her next question. “Is she okay? She’s been seeming so… down lately.” The witch’s frown returned, and she shrugged. “Yeah, I know. She’s not doing so well. I can’t exactly talk about it, but she’s pretty heartbroken right now.”

Luz nodded, not wanting to pry any further. She glanced back down at the bag again. “Are you gonna bring this to her tonight? I know it’s the weekend now, but I’m sure she has plenty of work to catch up on. Kinda hard to do that without all of her folders and binders.” Amity nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to go give it back after dinner. I want to message her to let her know ahead of time so I don’t just show up unannounced.”

Amity knocked on Boscha’s door urgently, the bag she had tugged along the entire flight there long forgotten. She had messaged Boscha after dinner, just as she had told Luz she would do, only to receive a response for her to get there immediately. “Boscha? Are you alright?” She reached to twist the doorknob, only for it to rattle and rotate from the other side. She jumped and stepped back a bit once the door swung open.

Amity couldn’t help but gasp at Boscha’s appearance: hair tangled and matted, clothes wrinkled and messily thrown on, and tears streaking rapidly down her face. “Amity,” she choked out between sobs, instantly pulling her into the room and tugging her into a tight hug. Her body trembled with each cry and whimper that wracked throughout her body. She eventually collapsed to the ground, Amity barely managing to catch her.

“Boscha, what happened?” A much louder chain of weeping erupted from the three-eyed girl, making Amity’s heart stop for a moment. What had happened in the span of a few hours that had left her so devastated? “I fucked it up. I fucked everything up,” she finally responded after a moment.

“What do you mean? What did you mess up?”

Finally, Boscha pulled back from the embrace, summoning her scroll and clicking on her most recent conversation. She continued to sob as she handed it to Amity, who read through everything quickly. “Oh… Boscha, I’m–” “She rejected me. I finally managed to tell her how I feel, and she told me she didn’t see me that way: she doesn’t love me. That she loves someone else and–a-and,” she stopped mid-stutter before she could choke on her ragged breathing.

“And wants to confess to them and ask them out,” Amity finished for her. Boscha hunched over, now letting her head press against the rough, wooden floorboards beneath her, her arms flying up to cover herself. Another cry slipped through, though it was far weaker, her shoulders finally slumping with defeat. “I shouldn’t have said anything to her,” she managed to whisper after a long moment. Amity had no idea what to say. She could only stare down at her friend with tears pricking her own eyes and blurring her vision.

She tucked the scroll away to let the only source of light dwindle off before lifting Boscha enough to take her into her arms. Soft words of affirmation managed to leave her lips as she rubbed soothingly at her back. “It’ll be okay, Boscha. I promise it will. These things just take time to heal from. I know you can do it, though.”

Gently, she lifted Boscha’s head to look her in the eye as best as she could. “You have me and Skara, and I’m sure Amelia and Kat wouldn’t mind helping you through this too. We aren’t going to leave you to deal with this on your own.” Boscha sniffled, straightening her back a bit to sit up. She wiped at her wet eyes, though more tears spilled soon after.

“But I don’t want to do it without her. I don’t want to do anything without her.”

Amity nodded with a small sigh. “I know. But you can still do it either way. I know you don’t want to, but just give it a chance, okay?”

Boscha’s eyes flickered back and forth for a bit, as if reading a script. A concoction of emotions flooded her senses, fury and sorrow leading the brew. Chipped fingernails dug into the fabric of her shorts as she shuddered. There were so many things overwhelming her mind–so many things she wanted to say, all out of her need to channel her anger after bottling it up for so long. She didn’t know what to do, and certainly didn’t know what to say, but she tried for an exhaustingly long moment to come up with something.

Finally, with her brows furrowed tightly together, she sniffled and managed to stand, using the collar of her t-shirt to wipe away her tears. “I’m not promising anything. I don’t want anyone’s help either. I can do stuff on my own. I have all my life. I don’t need anyone else.”

“Boscha, don’t–”

“Get out.”

She stepped forward and practically shoved Amity out the door once she stood to meet her eye-to-eye, slamming it right after and locking it. Amity, surprised by both the sudden motion and change in mood, knocked repeatedly and rattled the doorknob. “Boscha, please, open the door. You can’t lose yourself over something like this. You have to move on.”

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me to move on!” She hollered back from the other side of the door, punching it to emphasize her anger. “I’ll do whatever I want, got it? Get out. Leave. Just– leave me alone already!”

Amity tried for an hour more to convince Boscha to let her back in, but quickly slipped out of the house once she heard the front door downstairs opening and closing, followed by familiar voices. Once she was sure she was alone, Boscha curled back up on her bed and threw her covers over her head to muffle out her cries.

Her heart throbbed uncomfortably in her chest, hammering against her ribs. She hated the feeling. She hated all of her feelings lately, including the ones that led her to believe making a last attempt of confessing would fix everything. She bit down harshly against her blanket, trying to prevent herself from letting out another audible cry. The last thing she wanted to deal with was her moms trying to comfort her. She wanted to be alone, even if it meant dealing with her bubbling emotions on her own.

Every nerve throughout her body felt numb, making her limbs feel impossibly weak. She couldn’t have even lifted the blankets back off of her if she tried. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to stop her silent rivers of tears and fall asleep, hoping it would ease the headache pounding in her skull. She hated all of the pain, both physical and emotional. She wanted it to disappear forever.

The feeling was only temporary, she knew. The one-sided love that had destroyed her and her life, however, was eternal.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Playing Minecraft with Boscha

[Just a few general headcanons on how I think playing Minecraft with Boscha would go if she were ever introduced to it. It's been a while since I've just written preferences instead of a full short story, so I hope it's up to par.]

Enjoy!

-Okay, so–

-At first, when you introduced Boscha to Minecraft, she didn’t really care for it.

-She thought it was just some random game for little kids.

-It wasn’t until you finally convinced her to join your game while you played with Luz, Amity, and Willow that she gave in and decided to see why it was so popular in the human realm.

-After figuring out the controls, she was HOOKED.

-A game where you can control pretty much everything you want? Sign her up!

-She’d definitely prefer to play on creative so she could fly around and not worry about having to constantly type in cheats to get the materials she needs, but she’s not upset about playing on survival either.

-Defintelyyyy loves being one to farm for XP. It gives her the chance to kill enemies in the game and even get creative with it. She LOVES it without a doubt.

-For a while, she didn’t want to play alone. She had been introduced to the game with other friends, meaning she could kind of rely on them to help her gather resources and fight tougher enemies. She started playing on her own, however, upon realizing she could impress you and the others with her newest designs for her skin and builds (which she totally didn’t look up multiple online tutorials for at all).

-After a while, she really started to enjoy just being able to hop online and play with only you.

-It was really fun getting to spend time with you alone on such an intriguing game. She got to vent about her day and absolutely loved being able to crack jokes with you and just laugh and talk until the early hours of the morning when the two of you would finally log off and go to bed.

-Definitely expect her to spam you with requests to join her game whenever she isn’t busy.

-”Boscha, hun, you’ve gotta stop spamming me.”

-”But look at this thing I just found out about! If lightning strikes a creeper, it supercharges it and–”

-Will absolutely find a way into the Nether before she even has any of the gear remotely needed to survive.

-She doesn’t even know how Nether portals work, she was just messing around with lava and water, or somehow stumbled upon an abandoned portal and managed to ignite it.

-Speaking of ignition, you’d better hope she turned “fire spread” off because once she gets her hands on Flint and Steel, she’ll be setting everything ablaze.

-Will 100% go spelunking without any torches or backup pickaxes/shovels, and then complain when she finds out that she has to have a certain kind of tool to mine up diamond ore.

-Will also be the one who tries to take on multiple creepers, skeletons, or even the Enderdragon at once without a proper weapon. “I’ll beat your ass with my bare hands! Or–eh–whatever the hell these square-looking things are…”

-*QueenBoscha was slain by an arrow*

-"No fair! How'd you kill me, you bony bitch?"

-If, for some reason, she can’t play on her own console, she’ll invite herself to your house and either play split-screen with you on yours, or slide up behind you and hold you, resting her head against your shoulder while she watches you play. She’d definitely be interested in watching you play since you’ve played it much longer than her. She can learn different building techniques, ways to get around different terrains without boats and similar transportation, and hey, maybe she’ll actually learn how important it is to cRaFT A TOOL.

-Playing with her is always fun because she’s so quick to act snarky towards the fictional enemies in the game. Sure, she’ll jokingly yell at a zombie if it smacks her, but she gets so defensive if something attacks you.

-Sometimes it seems like she forgets that the game is entirely fictional and you aren’t actually being hurt. After a while of you teasing her about it, she starts to make fun of herself in a way. She’ll use the voice she had when mockingly reading one of the Azura books aloud. “I shall avenge thee!”

-For sure has pink-themed “equipment,” as she calls it. I’m talking pink controllers/keyboard + mouse, pink (probably LED) headphones, pink wrap for the console itself, etc. And not, like, pastel pink. Neon pink or a really bright shade of magenta.

-Her voice actress (Eden Riegel) said she’d absolutely be one to set trends in the human realm, but I think one of the trends she’d follow herself is trying to start a gaming channel.

-She’d definitely expect you to fully support her and even create a channel of your own so you could collaborate on the game.

-Eden also said Boscha’s favorite human snack would be Takis, so I can picture her snacking on those while she’s playing anything online.

-Overall, Boscha would absolutely love playing Minecraft, especially with you, and would kinda grow a little too obsessed with it for a while before moving on to a new game, though she'd always come back to Minecraft if she needed to relax.