gaipirates

[gaipirates]

Busted. Yas!!!

[gaipirates]

Cannon balls. Me lookin’ for Cannon…. Nope me mean kettle balls. Please forgive me. ARRR! Me come from 1825 and this be ALOT to take on just so ye know.

Do ye like me outfit btw? Me got it at Ross. Me agent said me get paid each time me say that online even tho it ain’t true. Me don’t even know a Ross. Sounds straight and me only steer the ship gayly forward as the Captain. In case it not be clear that makes me a total top. If that intimidates ye then good. If not, whatever. Ye not me type.

Anyway, me actually got the pants from Santa when we took over his sleigh in the great winter blizzard of 1824. That’s why me got sent here to the future. It be my punishment.

Uh. Me be interrupting the class huh? Ok. So no kettlebells then? Ok. How bout a cannonball. Ye got one of those? If ye happen to have three of em’ me can juggle them. Just be sure to wear closed toe shoes if ye be nearby. ARRR!

Well, if thar be nothing, then me head on out. BTW-If any total bottoms in this advanced high power gluttes circuit spin class be listening, your Captain be in the hot dry sauna in about 45 min. Shower first mates and then send them me way too.

YAR!!

[gaipirates]

Damn skippy.

[gaipirates]

Well, Captain GAI could certainly get into this. Nothing like it existed on the high seas in 1825. That was certain. This was unexpected. Maybe 2025 wouldn’t be so terrible.

Only five min in his first class and he could already see how hard it could get just by watching the instructor contort himself standing on a single leg. Most unusual, the instructor had all five original limbs …and that front one was a zinger! One could lose an eye with a kickstand like that.

CaptainGAI didn’t know what a kickstand was but he picked up the lingo in the locker room just before class. It was a good thing CaptainGAI still had two eyes just for that experience alone. Wowsers! The preventative eyepatch worn through his puberty years really paid off.

CaptainGAI continued to reflect You know, it really was a risk passing up underwater basket weaving like that, but this class could get me just as wet in the end.

Rod was it? Or Bob? Captain GAI noted the blip in his head and then in the other that was having trouble with names. Well, whatever chata doggy dog thing the instructor was doing it needed to happen again. The Captain watched the entire thing, and that was exactly the issue as it caused him to miss all the moves.

Gosh. thought Captain GAI. Who knew yoga wood excited him?

[gaipirates]

Yo-Ho

[gaipirates]

Few could stomach a tattoo like me handsome GAI Pirate here ‘12 Abs’ Mark.

[gaipirates]

Legend be GAI hero and anti-pant fashion icon, Captain Wade here be known worldwide for introducin’ ‘SHANTAY’ thar wildly successful rum-based tropical delight with unparalleled ‘stayin’ power.’ In the space of a gay snap the drink decimated the competition of the day ‘Sashay’ into oblivion until its owner of the same name licensed it for use on RuPaul’s DragRace. She’s be away ever since due to a claws in the contract limiting the number of spotlights available to won. After you get ye trophy mates ye hit the planks. Thats Hollywood and what comebacks be for.

[gaipirates]

Yar!!! Power shoulder pads be back me Mary’s.

[gaipirates]

Well, looking at this straight, it hardly be a surprise Labor Day comes nine months after New Years. Me always thought it be a ‘work holiday’ meself though the term never quite made sense to me either.

Ye know, me little sister thought ‘oxymoron’ be a laundry detergent until she be 12.l?

ARRGH! So…. Does thar glass half off the bar top be botherin’ ye as it do me? AI still be doing random things like giving me a GAI package with its own center of gravity. That be the very definition of hefty right tharrrrrr!!

[gaipirates]

What ye mean ‘what does it say?’ It says bloody GAIPIRATES. What else would it say? Look at me belt again me friend and tell me if ye like what’s just below. His name be Willie and he be feeling mighty stuffed up in me tights. Shall we let him out?

[gaipirates]

Here ye! Here ye! Me have a gai toast…

TO KAMALA!

[gaipirates]

All frills!

[gaipirates]

[gaipirates]

GAI Captain Redheart beamed with excitement for his new right hand man. “Vurrry good. Vurrrrrrrry good stiff… errrr me mean stuff.”

[gaipirates]

Devon reported back to the crew. Apparently the Captain bought the crew Ronald McDonald socks in an effort to make them more approachable.

[gaipirates]

Fancy that!

[gaipirates]

Oh. What’s this? Harry’s Merman fishnet gams caught something? We not even be in open water and look at what’s surfacing behind me lady.