getagripztm

[getagripztm]

seen in the wild 🤩✨💖

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source 1, 2.

gripz snack

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i know something else that has tremendous scale…. 😏

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i’m back and let me just say, while i love being able to basically eat chocolate chip gripz again, trader joe’s straight-up STOLE the intellectual property of steven cahillane and kellogg’s with these

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get gripzpilled. idiot

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tag urself

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Nacho Cheese Gripz™ moodboard

☾ ✧ Follow for more Gripz™ content ✧ ☽

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this is hilarious to watch as a normal sane person. i'm sorry you have to deal with so many terrible anons lol but your doing great!

thanks hon :)

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i love how people try to come into my ask box and try to mansplain Gripz™ to me as if i don’t know what i’m talking about lmfao. i founded this fandom, ur gonna have to try harder than that to get to me

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Real Talk: Gripz™ are inferior to Chortles. I dare you to prove me wrong.

ok sweaty, you asked for it. don’t say i didn’t warn you.

SO. lets start with the origin of both. Gripz™ are a kellogg’s product from the mid-2000s, the commercials started airing when i was a kid, around 7 or 8. have you ever seen a Chortles commercial? no. because Chortles are a product of Quaker Hill Farms, and they were made for the express purpose of being sold in school cafeterias. right now the Gripzcourse is pointing towards Chortles being a state-sanctioned snack intended to stop the kellogg’s monopoly from taking over cafeterias, because the business was growing way too quickly and the government felt threatened. there’s no way to tell if it’s true but the Chortles patent is from 2009, so keep that in mind. further, scientists have tested the nutrition content of both Chortles (as part of the school cafeteria process snacks need to be subjected to rigorous tests) and Gripz™ (in order to be FDA approved.) in this process they found Chortles to contain traces of 19 different pesticides, including kyungside, which is used to dissolve bones, and jongdide, which is used to strip rust off of old cars. they also reported seeing “record levels of added sugars, [...] artificial sweeteners, insect parts, and even pieces of human bones”. yet Chortles are still being sold in school cafeterias for some reason? oh right, it’s because the government is threatened by Steven Cahillane and the Kellogg’s Corporation. but you wanted me to prove that Gripz™ are superior to Chortles, and not the other way around, so let’s talk about what Gripz™ have done for the snack industry. before Gripz™ came into the market, snack sales were down 18% from 2000 (this was in 2005), with Wheat Thins selling a staggering 66% less product than they had been even fifteen years before. why? because the new millennium made people more focused on their health, and they stopped buying cookies and crackers (see this study from Economic Digest, September 2007.) the snack industry was dying. you know those articles about how millennials are killing industries? well the same thing was happening to snacks, until kellogg’s thought about portable, healthy snacks that could be stored in lunchboxes. a kellogg’s executive later stated that, “the Gripz™ idea literally saved our hides. if we hadn’t thought of these things, i’m not sure where our company would be today.” once Gripz™ came onto the market, snack sales skyrocketed by 58% in six months. people were going crazy over how portable and tasty these were, and even rival companies were forced to admit how much Gripz™ boosted their profits (General Mills CEO Doug Charming said he took former Kellogg’s CEO John Bryant out to dinner to thank him.) Think about it: Gripz™ literally saved the snack industry. you have John Bryant to thank for all the snack choices you enjoy today. besides that, Gripz™ also contain 88% less fat, 36% fewer calories, and 75% more vitamin content than Chortles.

but yeah. Gripz™ are inferior to Chortles. idiot.

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hey full offense but i saw u on the aphobe list and i just want to let you know that if you don't think asexuals are valid lgbt+ folk, u deserve to be run off this site. have a nice day :)

the only discourse i engage in on this blog is Gripzcourse, i honestly don’t know where u got this false information lmao

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my cousin made a quiz to see what Gripz™ you should date!! i got rainbow (no surprise haha) but take it on your own to see what you get!!

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the girl reading this :)

she loves Gripz™