girlinlavender - Tumblr blog

[girlinlavender]

jackieshauna is so silly omg it’s like:

what if we were best friends and we loved each other and hated each other and you hated the parts of yourself I created but you couldn’t possibly be somebody seperate from me

and it didn’t matter anyway because the plane went down and it snowed outside and you didn’t say sorry and when you were finally rescued I had an empty grave because you were my final resting place and I was a ghost that knew no cemetery

and you never wore my red dress and I never went to Rutgers with you and it didn’t matter anyway because you made yourself a shrine to me until the Wilderness wasn’t the only god you tried to pretend you didn’t worship

and what if you couldn’t love your daughter because she’s in my costume and she was in your stomach and so was I and I never got to be yours so she couldn’t be either

and what if you married my boyfriend so you could live my life for me and what if you hated him for not loving you when you didn’t really want him to and what if you hated him for telling me he loved me when he didn’t

and what if I was the rabbit in the garden and I was the poppies on your wedding cake and I was the throats that you slit with my necklace on and I was everything that you ever loved or hunted because what are you if not fully engulfed in me and what am I if not fully consumed by you forever

until we’re just two bodies in the meat shack, just two bodies in the forest, on the bloody war-torn winter ground, in the cabin tha burned the way I burned, in the childhood room I never grew out of, in the house you lived in but couldn’t love, with the people you chose but couldn’t belong to, and what if I was you and you were me and you would kill every man alive for me to haunt you like I used to and what if we were both girls

[girlinlavender]

no joke, being gay actually helped my self esteem, because whenever i see a girl i think, “oh my god, she’s so pretty, i’m going to die, her style is so cool and she’s so cool and she’s so insanely pretty.”

and it helped me think of myself in a more positive light. because women are beautiful, and powerful, and brilliant, and i’m a woman.

so, ✨ladies✨: the next time you feel insecure abt yourself and how you look, remember that somewhere, somehow, at some point in time a queer girl has probably seen you and almost had a stroke. and if when YOU see women and almost have a stroke, remember that it goes both ways, hon. you are divinely lovely by nature, and so are they. you’re a part of the coven too.

[girlinlavender]

The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.

[girlinlavender]

girlhood for me and why it’s fucking cool and important: (kinda long)

so, girlhood for me is summoning demons at sleepovers, playing “runaway orphans” on the playground and becoming bloodthirsty mermaids in swimming pools. barbies getting messy divorces, shopkins engaging in cannabalism, stuffed animals fighting in wars.

girlhood for me is being evil and angry and creative and thoughtful and kind in ways that didn’t matter to most people and talkative about the wrong things in the wrong places in ways that isolated me from my peers and being wonderfully, violently, beautifully strange.

imagination running free cannot and should not always lead to cute, wholesome things that misguided adults percieve as acceptably docile play. yes, don’t hurt people, but if your idea of make-believe leaned a little bit more towards princesses riding on sparkly unicorns as they charged into battle, there is nothing wrong with that. i was a weird fucking kid. i would have full conversations with trees. pretend to be possessed to freak out babysitters. cry, laugh and scream at everything. i didn’t hurt people, and no one was scared of me, but i was made fun of a lot, and it really fucked with my sense of self and my perception of what staying true to yourself meant.

i had to unlearn that, am still unlearning that, and that shit’s fucking hard. btw, my experience as a girl is that of a cis, neurodivergent, able-bodied white lesbian with supportive, middle class parents, and all those things affected me and how people treated me and how i perceived the world and those inside of it.

girlhood for other people means other things. and that’s okay. some had stereotypically feminine childhoods, by choice or otherwise. some had a more masculine childhood, and may have been labeled a tomboy. and tons in-between had otherwise nuanced complexions within their own experiences as women. many people didn’t get to experience “girlhood” until they were of adult age, because they were raised under the impression that they weren’t a girl. many people do not associate girlhood with positivity, because their experience as a woman, or their childhood in general, was very debilitating or traumatizing for them. many people experienced girlhood only to one day realize that they were not female at all, or that their gender otherwise held more need for introspective thought that they originally had guessed.

my point is that “girlhood” holds nuance. it means different things for different people, and it is beautiful, and you are beautiful, either way. and if it hurt you, fucked you up, entangled you in things you’re still escaping from, you are valid in however you process that. you aren’t being dramatic, or being ungrateful, or not “letting bygones be bygones.” childhood sucks sometimes, and you are entitled to the anger you feel. we weren’t allowed to pass down our last names, so we passed down our fury instead, and it is wiser and wilder than our oppressors, or their namesakes. it made us, and allowed us to make ourselves. it is beautiful, and brilliant, and tortured in it’s glories and raptures, and so are we.

[girlinlavender]

the girlies girlying

when your circle small but y’all all crazy

[girlinlavender]

I like this headcannon/theory a lot !!

I really appreciate the imput, and I love the idea of Misty legitimately trying to get Caligula to answer the phone :’)

thank you sm for sharing !!! + drink some water

something I saw someone point out once on i think reddit (I don’t remember who, and it was a while ago, but points to that cool smart dude) is that caligula, misty’s bird, is an african grey.

african greys are supposed to talk. but we’ve never seen caligula speak once.

so it’s almost like misty wanted a bird she could be friends with, talk to, etc… and she was denied a personal connection again.

she must be getting tired of chasing after love she never gets.

after all… when you can’t even confide in a literal bird? even your pets don’t desire your company?

that’s gotta sting.

[girlinlavender]

yj spoilers:

hey so we still know basically nothing about the man in the cabin before them. I’m pretty sure the man we saw standing behind the girls in jackie’s pre-death vision hallucination dream thing is him, and maybe that’s where the ghosts hang out, since laura lee is there and he’s all, “welcome to being dead girlfriend, hehe.”

but like. when shauna is doing the seance right before lottie freaks out, she says her name is jacques. yeah, she’s joking probably, but when lottie gets possessed or whatever that was, she’s speaking french. which she obviously doesn’t know. a lot of this show is guessing what’s supernatural and what’s not, and that has a lot of allure, but for the french thing and several other reasons we can infer that a strictly non-supernatural interpretation of the show is likely not correct.

that being said.

what if the man that came before them is a french pilot named jacques, and lottie was channeling him?

[girlinlavender]

i NEED yj season three to be warring cannibalistic clans.

[girlinlavender]

yeah! ty dude :>

i want to know everyone’s wildest yj theories. barely any evidence, no context, off the hook will never be canon shit.

seriously, share !!

[girlinlavender]

I think you misinterpreted what we are theorizing about, but nonetheless, i appreciate your input, Thumb-less One.

i want to know everyone’s wildest yj theories. barely any evidence, no context, off the hook will never be canon shit.

seriously, share !!

[girlinlavender]

OH MY GOD THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

that would actually be cool as fuck

tyy for your imput !!

i want to know everyone’s wildest yj theories. barely any evidence, no context, off the hook will never be canon shit.

seriously, share !!

[girlinlavender]

the “good for her” trope is consuming me fr.

when a woman walks confidently away from her burned down life, blood dripping from her chin and on her hands, scars lining her body, with a grim expression laced with hints of vengeful joy and a knife strapped to her back

and all you can do is nod your head in satisfaction, lean back in your chair and say, “good for her.”

[girlinlavender]

holy fucking shit, that makes so much sense!!

I think that the show is so much more interesting the more you lean into the idea that the Wilderness is a sentient thing, even a god.

so. i'm still thinking and taking too seriously the different possibilities on "Why the Wilderness™ killed Laura Lee?" and especially thinking about the Wilderness killing Laura Lee specifically as a way to punish/hurt/control Lottie

first of all, obviously, this is all going along with the assumption that the Wilderness™ is ✨something✨ real and purposeful and powerful, etc etc

Now, Lottie and Laura Lee were holding hands as the plane went down right? they had a connection before ever setting foot there. fun fact that i want to include here: both of them voted against going down to the lake btw (like jackie, resisting going deeper into the wilderness). but then they reach the cabin! and Lottie starts acting weird, she stays behind, it's her first moment of isolation (i think). she starts to "feel" bad things. she ran out of her medication of course but we can assume it's the beginning of her "hearing" the wilderness

if we keep going along this route, you could say Lottie got officially "chosen" by the wilderness during the seance, and who interrupts it and breaks her out of it? Laura Lee! maybe the beginning of the Wilderness' beef with our girl Laura Lee

if we accept what Lottie said in the s2 finale to be true and the Wilderness chose her because she was the only one that could listen to it, it would make sense that the Wilderness needed her, and it needed her alone, all to itself, believing and trusting only what she heard and saw from the Wilderness

when Lottie goes to Laura Lee to explain away the visions, when she goes along with Laura Lee's baptism and idea that the visions come from God, it goes against the Wilderness' wishes. you could even say that Lottie's vision of Laura Lee's death during the baptism was the Wilderness giving her a final warning, an opportunity. maybe if Lottie had wholeheartedly believed in her visions back then instead of in Laura Lee's words, she would have done something to stop her from getting on the plane

the Wilderness killing Laura Lee was It proving its power to Lottie, telling her to never doubt it again

and, by killing Laura Lee, the Wilderness got rid of Lottie's closest friend, strongest connection, and last tether to sanity and civilization and the group. it had Lottie isolated from the group and free to manipulate and share the messages it wanted, without a translator that believed in other gods

[girlinlavender]

normal people: i went to a graveyard

taylor swift: how’s one to know i’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones in a faith forgotten land

normal people: we left the car and it was cold so you gave me your jacket

taylor allison swift: your midas touch on the chevy door, november flush and your flannel cure

normal people: you were mean on the phone

t swizzle: AND YOU CALL ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE—

[girlinlavender]

i want to know everyone’s wildest yj theories. barely any evidence, no context, off the hook will never be canon shit.

seriously, share !!

[girlinlavender]

can we stop pretending that the internet’s insane vendetta against morally gray women in fiction isn’t deeply and intrinsically rooted in misogyny??

listen. not coming for any male morally gray/villainous characters, they still slay, but the way y’all actually come for ANY female characters who are even a little bit bad SO HARD???

it’s fucking wild. there is nothing wrong with disliking a character because they’ve commited crimes or whatever. cool cool. people have different tastes and i get it. but pls don’t come for anyone who does. it’s fiction. people will literally say that if you enjoy, for example, catra’s character from she-ra or princess bubblegum from adventure time that you are JUSTIFYING ABUSE ?? girl.

sometimes we all need to take a deep breath, and remind ourselves that this is fiction. they are not real people. liking a character who does a lil bit of murder is NOT the same thing as justifying those actions.

go touch grass. with love <3

[girlinlavender]

i love how yj tries to present jackie as this leading lady, popular girl, makes-shauna-live-in-her-shadow type character, but that’s literally not her character at all ??

they act like before the crash jackie had some intense friendship power over them, and they did whatever she said, and then after the crash it all fell apart… girl no ??? she’s a girlfailure ??? hello ???

“oohhhh look at her leadership skilzzzzz, eveyone listens to herrrrr, ohhhhhh she’s so POPULAR that she MANIPULATED her BESTIE into joining soccer !!”

meanwhile jackie before the crash: “guys pleez say something nice about each other 😠😞😔 heeehee shauna i like you 😙 lolz you suck at dancing but you’re my best friend and i love you and i’d do literally anything for you you’re the light of my life 😭😭😭 please don’t be mad at me 🥺🥺🥺 you’re not mad at me right 🥹 okay 🥰”

like pls- be so fr rn.