hakaba-uta - Tumblr blog

[hakaba-uta]

YOU WANT TO BE COOL YOU DON'T WANT TO BE REAL

YOU WANT THE GLITTER YOU DON'T WANT THE PAIN

YOU WANT THE AESTHETIC YOU DON'T WANT THE REALITY

[hakaba-uta]

少女であるのは嫌いだったときがあったが、 女になり生まれたのは幸せだ と今言える。

[hakaba-uta]

You drank your lives away and I dream mine.

Just endless boredom, constant monotony, and hopeless tomorrows. What do I look forward to? What was there for you?

Limits. Prisons. Coffins. Damnations.

We are almost the same:  Sleeping to dream, dreaming to live; 

living to drink, drinking for happiness because there’s nothing.

I’m sorry.

[hakaba-uta]

You tried to drag me down to your level. I said what I said but I’m not the one who’s poison.

Nor am I poisoned; although you were painfully felt.

I am good and good I want to be.

[hakaba-uta]

Trataste de derribarme a tu nivel. Dije lo que dije pero no soy la que es veneno.

Ni estoy envenenada; aunque fuiste dolorosamente sentida.

Soy buena y buena quiero ser.

[hakaba-uta]

There’s this sadness in my chest coupled with the realization I’m not quite right so I worry about the mark I leave when I come and go and I fear what I might not be able to do even though I want to I worry if I’ll be this way forever,

though a part of me doesn’t mind as long as we can fulfill each other naturally and fill ourselves as well

(it’s okay to not be okay I will love you, flaws and all can you love me I have my heart to give I’m sorry that I’m sick so I hope

it’s enough.)

[hakaba-uta]

O childhood, how I chase the nostalgia as you get further and further away from me

wishing I could turn back the pages like a book or hop into a time machine and find my preferred year

but I’d live it right and cherish it knowingly blot out all the bad and embrace a life I never knew

wishes are but wishes and dreams are but dreams

but how nice would it have been if I could have spent it with you.

[hakaba-uta]

yet another year that’s been slipping from my fingers

I'll grasp the memory of it and think, ‘I’m sorry I did not live you’

then figure I just have the next;

ad eternum

[hakaba-uta]

I like you but this relationship has met its end I think of you but never shall we speak again

(do you wonder if I'll come back but don't know when?)

I know you don't understand so I'm sorry for the confusion

hurting you isn't my intention and leaving was never the plan

it's not something I can put words to yet—

(other than an urge for isolation that does not relent)

so here I am,

taking scissors to this connection doomed to repeat this if I try again.

[hakaba-uta]

trans. of (_)

一緒にベッドで目を覚まして

横になって息をして

甘くて暖かくて静かに

貴方と日の出を見るのは

私の願

貴方も欲しかったらいい

[hakaba-uta]

and to enjoy the sunrise with you

i wish

blinking awake in bed together

laying and breathing

sweet and warm and tranquil

i hope you'll want it too

[hakaba-uta]

it's hard to love you

but I will cherish you

you who are me

the love is there

shaky and learning

[hakaba-uta]

het is moeilijk te houden van je

maar ik zal je koesteren

jij die mij bent

de liefde is er

wankel zoals het leert

[hakaba-uta]

私の日本語は上手ではない。

そんな影とあそびたくない

とあんたに言った。

ぼくはあんたの鏡だった、

人形のようななにか…

それか、なにか美味しい、

なにか食べるもののようだった

その言葉、その行動を

ぼくに映った

見られなかった？

人をきずつけてたあるのがわからないの？

…でも、知ってる本当は、見たくないから

考えるのは疲れてる

回るのは疲れていない?

いつ止める？

[hakaba-uta]

I told you

that I didn’t want to play with such shadows.

I was your mirror,

or something like a doll...

or something delicious,

something to consume;

All your words, all your actions

reflected back onto me−

could you really not see it?

can you not see the way you hurt

(...the truth is, I know, you just don't care)

I’m tired of thinking

aren’t you tired of spinning?

when will we ever stop

[hakaba-uta]

Beochaoineadh

(español)

Aunque trato de poner a dormir los pensamientos de ti,

la tumba sólo es tres pies de profundidad;

siempre estoy hablando con tu fantasma.

Aunque he estado furiosa deseando que se fuera

regresaré al retrato

y diré mis pensamientos un mil de veces–

todos los restos de una canción de luto.

Me diré que estoy terminada de dar elegías

y alimentar el dolor a pesar de todo.

Por en mi corazón permanecen rastros de ti.

[hakaba-uta]

Beochaoineadh

Even though I try to lay thoughts of you to sleep,

the grave only goes three feet;

I allow your ghost to haunt me.

And though I seethe and hurt and wish it'd all just go away

I'll return to the portrait

and say my piece a thousand times--

all the remnants of a mourning song;

I’ll tell myself I'm done with giving elegies

and feed the pain all the same.

For your imprint on my heart remains.