howmuchlonger2be

[howmuchlonger2be]

I'm so fucking fat

90% of my pants that fit me a few months ago dont fit me anymore

I looks so disgusting from the side

I just want to throw up and never eat again

But i'm also a stress eater...

I hate this so much

I hate myself so much

Why cant i just lose weight and be skinny...

Why is it so much easier to be body positive towards other people... Everyone else is so pretty.... Only i look like a disgusting pig...

[howmuchlonger2be]

[howmuchlonger2be]

[howmuchlonger2be]

I need to cut the fat off my body

Why does my body look like a blind toddler formed it out of play-dough????

I need to escape this physical form before I go insane

[howmuchlonger2be]

Why am I feeling this way rn?

Is it:

A. Worsening depression?

B. PMS? (Or possibly PMDD)

C. Burnout

D. Non OR all of the above

[howmuchlonger2be]

5 easy ways to find out who you really are

How to find out who you really are in 5 simple steps:

change your hair

change your name

change your style

get piercings and tattoos

then kill yourself 

because you only ever thought about doing these things but you never went through with any of it

because you don't know who you are and are terrified of change

but if you don't change things you’ll never figure out yourself

then I guess you’ll just be miserable for the rest of your life

and will regret not doing anything until the day that you die

and then once you finally manage to kill yourself and you’ll realize you never truly felt alive in the first place.

And I guess that is all you are.

No strong passions No strong interests

Nothing holds your attention for longer than a few weeks

And if you think about killing yourself

One part feels relieved

the other paralyzed

because while you really are just this miserable

and committing suicide would be the easiest

you are so terribly afraid of change

you rather choose familiar hell.

You are nothing but a shell

and not even mentally ill enough for that to fully fill you up.

So you google 5 easy ways to find out who you really are. And nothing comes up.

But articles you won't read anyway.

How does it feel? Living life as a shell.

I guess I will just be miserable rather than change and make mistakes.

[howmuchlonger2be]

I miss that wounds. I wanna cut again.

[howmuchlonger2be]

I really want a girlfriend rn 🥲

[howmuchlonger2be]

I laminated a paper towel

[howmuchlonger2be]

a semi-comprehensive blinkie making guide

blinkies! they’re fun, cute, they infected every corner of the internet at one point, and i’m gonna help you bring the art of making them back so they can infect it again!! Please use these powers for good if i see komaeda kinnie blinkies popping up left and right i’m deleting my blog and yours too because i invented the internet and i can do that

i’m going to be using aseprite for this guide- it’s my favorite pixel art tool out there right now that i talked about earlier coincidentally! if you want a copy for yourself, it’ll run you about $15USD. it’s important to use an art tool that lets you edit gifs as frames. if what you’re running won’t allow you to edit or make gifs, you might have to edit each frame individually and then string the still images together on ezgif or something. i’m pretty sure most programs out there will let you edit gifs though!! aseprite is by no means mandatory for blinkie making, just a little redommendation n_n

so, the blinkies you usually see have dimensions of 150 x 20px! the golden ratio for blinkies if i do say so myself. most blinkies have 2-4 frames, sometimes more! feel free to add however many you need for your desired animation n_n but if you’re looking to make a simple blinkie, 2 should be just fine! 

here i edited a blinkie template and added a graphic (on a separate layer- layers are important!) to it- all i did for the next frame was change the colors a bit! easy!

(pink dashes become yellow and vice versa to give the blinkie effect)

you can always start from scratch on an empty 150x20 canvas, but i like to use blank templates (↑ like this one ↑) and edit them to my liking! it saves some time :-) once you have your design finished, add whatever text you want! i sometimes use my own fonts that i just draw out, but other times i’ll just insert some text and adjust it how i want it n_n do whatever you think looks best!

this should be obvious, but make sure you have your text and whatnot pasted into every frame! or at least the frames you want it to be visible in. after that you should be good to save it as a gif and use your blinkie!

i hope this helps haha, it’s really pretty easy! i’ll upload some templates shortly :-)

[howmuchlonger2be]

ppl talk about the difficulty of writing characters smarter than yourself, but the real challenge is writing a character who is funnier than you are

[howmuchlonger2be]

[howmuchlonger2be]

My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.

We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.

We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.

We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.

We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.

[howmuchlonger2be]

[howmuchlonger2be]

once i beat the depression and the burnout and the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the low income and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability and the creative block and the capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see

[howmuchlonger2be]

i've noticed from other lesbians, especially exlusionary lesbians but also those that worry about their attraction being "valid", that they define their lesbian identity on absence of attraction to men rather than their attraction to women. so if any attraction to men shows up, it's an immediate retraction of a lesbian identity rather than just an inevitable something to occur because so few experience 100% attraction to only one gender or only one idea of gender. and this only becomes more obvious as contemporary ideas of gender expand wider and wider and free expression of non-binary gender becomes more common. honestly, lesbian discourse becomes an obvious side effect if you look at it this way, but it doesn't make it any less devastating.

and this problem is not unlike that of aspec communities who do the same, gatekeeping or internally condemning oneself for experiencing small pieces of attraction. when it's really just about how you experience attraction differently than an allo.

[howmuchlonger2be]