hrnylovesickmess

[hrnylovesickmess]

how long will it be cute , all this crying in my room?

[hrnylovesickmess]

I find this generation so hopeless in terms of love. No one really fights for it anymore. Everything seems so fake and momentary. You could be head over heels in love with someone and absolutely hate them the next second. People fall in and out of love so fast. I don't think I can ever do that. I actually mean what I say when I'm in love with someone. And i actually struggle with the fact that we don't speak anymore, and some part of me will always love them I can't let go of people so easily no matter what they do or how bad they treat me. Maybe that's a real bad trait to have in this generation.

[hrnylovesickmess]

The problem of being academically good with a shit social and personal life is that your life might be falling into pieces but u gotta tape all that back together and study for ur exams because ur sadness should not reflect on ur marks😭

[hrnylovesickmess]

if i die I'll never get you back

You made me a hypochondriac

[hrnylovesickmess]

How do u convince urself that ur not a failure when even after working so fucking hard all u do is fail

[hrnylovesickmess]

The piano piece called October describes how i feel rn it's a borderline between needing to cut your veins and just being held so tight that the whole world dissappears, disintegrates into a vastness of nothing just to make you feel whole again.

[hrnylovesickmess]

The thing is no matter how much u get what you want you always end up wanting more.

[hrnylovesickmess]

Do i really miss him or I'm just REALLY FUCKING LONELY

[hrnylovesickmess]

What if i really miss you now but I'm too proud to admit it to you. What if you never really loved me enough to miss me now. What if it suddenly makes me feel so devastated that you're not here anymore. What if I do feel terrible knowing you're used to my absence now. What if I could let you know I missed you but only if you missed me too.

[hrnylovesickmess]

And what if she just stopped thinking and jumped into the howling waves, would the waves drown the voices in her head then? Or would the voices would just get louder for what seems to be an eternity.

[hrnylovesickmess]

I wish someone would break me into pieces, dismantle me all at once so that I don't have to go through this again and again.

[hrnylovesickmess]

I cried more to "rest" than a sad song by sasha or dean

[hrnylovesickmess]

I can feel you slip away like I know you would.

[hrnylovesickmess]

And sometimes I feel like I'm made of pastel. As if I'd disintegrate if someone touches me, into a mess of so many colours merged into one ghastly pale one. I'm afraid that's all I'm going to be, a ghost, a rush, someone not real enough to see through.

[hrnylovesickmess]

"Pistol" by cigarettes after sex reminds me of you. I love how oblivious you are to my favourite bands or how none of our interests really match, but you have grown on me like no one else. I love how I like my coffee dark and you like it sweet and frothy. I love how we are so different, yet the same. I love how you have no interest in reading long boring novels, but you could listen to me rant about them for hours. Seeing you feels like the first drop rain after long long days of summer. I could do anything for you, I know i could, this scares me so much, but I've also never been happier, maybe to be happy you have to take a risk. And you are a risk I'd take on happily.

Edit:he turned out to be a real bitch

[hrnylovesickmess]

[hrnylovesickmess]

"be my mistake" by the 1975 is probably one of the saddest songs I have ever heard. It hurts me so bad to even think about the amount of pain the girl who is the "mistake" goes through. The songwriter is so shallow for saying upright so many times that she is a mistake. And she is no where close to the person he actually loves. He is ashamed of her but also doesn't it doesn't bother him enough to stop.

He actually says "cause I get lonesome sometimes". She is just someone to fill a certain void in his heart that is ashamed to do. He compares her to the person he loves repeatedly.

"the smell of your hair/reminds me of her feet". He literally compares her to the feet of the girl he loves. I find that to be so sad and humiliating. But this girl has little to no self esteem. She is readily agreeing to be his mistake again and again. She is okay with being something someone only regrets

"You make me hard/but she makes me weak"

This makes this girl look so ordinary that it's pitiable. But the sad fact is most of us are just mere mistakes. It's sad but that's the truth. Most of us are just second discarded choices something that is just unwanted company. We are made to be taken advantage of and somewhere along the way we are even okay with it. That's the saddest part. We would do anything even if that means being a mistake just to spend some time with that person who doesn't even know you exist.