iamnotathornbird

[iamnotathornbird]

dear lord, please take all life problems and responsibilities away from fanfic writers but also make them financially stable and happy with nothing to worry about so they can happily focus on writing and posting fanfiction. amen

[iamnotathornbird]

my carhartt beanie keeps my ears sooo much warmer than any other beanie i've tried over the years. 10/10 recommend if you're cold all the time like me lol

I have no idea who or what carhartt is but i always see big boys wearing em so they have my full support

[iamnotathornbird]

okay, but there’s such a big implication when Spike goes to get his soul beside the obvious (horror, regret, love, the need to be better etc.) that needs to be addressed. because he decided that night, in like an hour, what he was going to do, and he knew exactly where to go. which means that he had researched how to get a soul before any of that happened. he had thought about it. he knew what he had to do and who he had to ask. the final choice to do it might have happened quickly, but his consideration about earning his soul for Buffy had been present for some time. and that speaks a lot to his dedication to grow and be better and be a man who Buffy could love.

[iamnotathornbird]

"Tell us how you guys all met, was it music for you or was it friendship first?" "Grindr"

[iamnotathornbird]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[iamnotathornbird]

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

[iamnotathornbird]

The most beautiful minds of our generation are posting fan fiction on archiveofourown.org

[iamnotathornbird]

I am increasingly grateful that Spike was so divisive in the writers' room. Both Angel and Riley were supposed to be heroes, but you have them doing things like:

Experiencing a moment of true happiness when nutting in a teenager, but not when cuddling with his own child

Cheating on Buffy and saying it's her fault

Like, knowing what we know about Whedon and the sort of toxic environment he nurtured, it's really no wonder that the dudes on staff thought these guys were sympathetic and couldn't understand why Spike was so popular when he was, you know, not doing stuff like that. Also his actual shitty behavior was called out as actually shitty by other characters and the narrative, whereas Angel and Riley (and Xander and others, lbr) were constantly devil's advocated by the same narrative, if not let off the hook entirely.

[iamnotathornbird]

ISO a spuffy fic, driving me nuts that i can't find it.

AU, multi-chapter, time travel, buffy ends up (i think through a spell) in 1880s victorian england, and gets a job working in spike/william's household caring for his mother.

sound familiar to anyone?

[iamnotathornbird]

just finished sunrise on the reaping.

anyone got hayffie hurt/comfort one shots to recommend?

[iamnotathornbird]

why have i not seen a single post about sunrise on the reaping pop up on my feed? 🤔

EDITED: ok, literally i made this post, and then the next five things that popped on my newsfeed were about haymitch. 😂

[iamnotathornbird]

Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.

[iamnotathornbird]

OMFG. still on my season 6 rewatch, xander gets buffy a job at his contruction site, but the trio send demons after her, so obvi she protects herself and her coworkers, but chaos and destruction ensues, and now xander is yelling at buffy and telling her, "no, not here, not at my job. that's your job." AS IF BUFFY HAS ANY CONTROL OVER WHERE DEMONS APPEAR TO ATTACK HER IN THE FUKCING HELLMOUTH.

what. a. fucking. asshole.

[iamnotathornbird]

rewatching btvs season 6, on episode 4, and already annoyed at the scooby gang.

buffy was dead for almost 5 months, and did willow and tara contribute at all the household bills?

i tried googling average rents in LA suburbs in 2004, and it looked like $1200+ for a one bedroom. let's assume the average rent in sunnydale at the time for a one-bedroom was $800/month.

so if they were setting aside $800/month × 5 months = $4000

i found an old reddit thread from 10 years ago talking about cost to redo a pipes in a house, and obviously there are a lot of variables, but that post was saying $7,000-$10,000 was reasonable (with other people quoting higher costs).

let's just say that it was gonna cost buffy $8,500 to fix the pipes in her house... if willow & tara had been paying rent, buffy would be halfway there.

also... why didn't buffy just sell the house and get a little condo (no yard work!) for her and dawnie?