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Parting gift 💞

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I refuse to believe that the queer coding in bsd is just 'accidental' because you don't just ' ACCIDENTALLY ' write THAT

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ONNEEEEE PERSON TOLD ME TO TELL YALL ABT MY CWETPM LORE SO I SHALL

YIPPEE

so basically this is what happens (aka so far what ive planned) (warning: very long)

(TW: hallucinations, suicide, self harm, abuse and murder (+ mental deterioration?)

chuuya is in the port mafia, and he's honestly getting tired and stressed out by it. he knows he said the pm is like his family, but that family is dysfunctional as hell.

having to watch his friends die, and get assaulted and get abused, is not fun. being surrounded by an environment where abuse is 'the norm', is not fun.

he's starting to hate it here. and he's starting to feel more and more mentally drained as the days go on.

one day, he comes home after another day of watching violence and aggression in the mafia, and while he's switching to his pajamas in the bathroom, he spots a weird thing in the mirror - himself, wow, shocking- given the fact it's a mirror- except... it's his 15 self

chuuya begins to question that 15 version of himself, asking him why he's here, how the hell he's hallucinating that his 15 year old self is sat on the bathroom hamper and what does he want but 15chuuya just answers "you know why", "you're crazy" and -

"eradicate the port mafia."

chuuya freezes in his spot at that last answer, getting a memory planted in his head, of his 15 year old self saying in that damn plane "i'll kill those port mafia bastards" when he was still in the sheep.

this leads to more questioning from chuuya, of course - why the hell was this twerp telling him this?!

after a few honestly useless questions, 15 chuuya just bluntly spoke:

"listen, man. you're basically going insane in that fuckass place, right? you hate it there, i know that," his hand went up to grab his necklace - it had the blue sheep symbol on it, made by the other sheep for him. "i know about those 'fleeting thoughts' of just beating the shit out of some of the members, and those 'fleeting thoughts' of just killing yourself too. if they're bothering you so much, why not just do it already?"

...did this twerp just basically tell chuuya to kill himself? maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but it sure sounded like it to chuuya -

"you can't easily just escape the pm, you're not dazai, you're loyal- " he said loyal in a mocking manner, "the boss would probably kill you on the spot if he even finds out a little that you want to leave, so why not kill him before he kills you?"

this was starting to make chuuya feel paranoid, the urge to just either lash out at himself or just bash his own head against the wall was strong, but he couldn't for some reason. after a minute of silence, 15 chuuya just said "get changed, and go to bed."

so chuuya did, he got fully changed and went to bed.

the following day, he was paranoud as all hell in his usual workplace, he feared 15 chuuya would pop up again and somehow convince him to do a massacre right then and there and probably kill himself in the process, and so he went home early, not wanting to potentially hurt everyone and himself.

he went to his desk and shoved all the papers off it, they flew off and then slowly fell to the carpet. he sat down roughly and buried his head in his hands, and of course - he heard the stupid voice of his 15 year old self.

small self-deprecating words, and convincing led to chuuya slowly reaching over for a blank piece of lined paper, and a pen. he trembled as he put the pen onto the paper and then wrote a list.

- akutagawa, higuchi, gin, tachihara, hirotsu, kajii, kouyou, Q, mori and then his own name.

being guided by 15 chuuya's words, he picked up his phone and called mori - "boss, i need a few days for sick leave. i'm not doin' well." he simply said, and after a small 'okay' from his boss, he hung up the phone.

he spent the rest of the night figuring out how he'll kill them - yes, that list was a hitlist.

chuuya'll kill akutagawa first, since he loved him like his son or brother, he didn't want to save that for last, then higuchi - knowing her, she'd start worrying for the man, and he didn't want that stupid worry spreading to the rest of the port mafia. and then after higuchi, he'd kill gin - he didn't want her to worry about her brother and higuchi.

after that, tachihara and hirotsu, at the same time. kajii... maybe he'll just bomb him with a normal fuckin' bomb, he didn't know. and then kouyou- he didn't know, he just made a note to himself to 'make it as painless as possible'. then Q, that'd be easy, after that whole guild incident- that kid was basically just crying all the time, and barely even acted like their normal self - it was nearly sad for chuuya, but meh, he didn't like Q. as for mori... well, that'd be linked with his suicide.

chuuya dropped his pen and then leaned back in his seat, his 15 year old self just watched him as he was sat on the bed. he took off his hat, and then took off his small jacket, and then unbuttoned his vest, and then ruffled his hair to like it fall out of his usual lovelock hair style- making it splay down across his back. he stared at the ceiling - his head lolled back against the back of his chair.

god, he was really gonna do this, huh. he was pathetic.

...

a little over a month, it took him. he killed them all. it was hard. and he was currently stood over mori's dead body, blood splattered on his clothes and face - his chest was heaving, breathing hard and difficult. he took off his gloves, that did not cover the damn scars he did to himself on his arms and then muttered a prayer-like sentence.

and then arahabaki wreaked havoc.

chuuya was already weakened and he felt so drained and paranoid, it didn't take more than 7 minutes of arahabaki controlling his body to destroy the port mafia building to make chuuya go limp and cough out blood, so now corruption was just using his corpse as a puppet to cause destruction.

---------------------------------------------

SO YEAH THATS BASICALLY IT SO WHOLESOME AM I RIGHT

of course, there'd be more small details that i'd add like chuuya slowly becoming disgusted of himself and his own body over the month he killed the pm members, which leads to him harming himself more. and more interactions with 15 chuuya where he's basically just manipulating chuuya and making him go even more fucking insane, and possibly interactions with arahabaki ‼️(and possibly chuuya, at moments, thinking of himself like a god? mmmm story is still kinda in beta teehee so things could change)

overall, this au was made at first to entertain my lil dumb idea when i was reading the age 15 manga (i saw the page where chuuya said he'll kill the Port Mafia and i jst wondered "ok but what if he *really* did?)

this might be a lil worrying but this au brings me a strange amount of comfort, i enjoy making art of it and animations of it, and i adore making chuuya spiral into a mental state that completely ruins his life!!!!! (definitely a lil concerning. i will tell my therapist abt this)

anyways thats my cwetpm au :3 hope that now some content i make of it makes a lil more sense now :33

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Im going for yahoo or yippee, im more for yippeee

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"homosexuality is unnatural! there's only two genders! it's a sin-"

I'm sorry, have you seen NATURE???

ALSO THE ARTIST IS HUMON, FIND THEM AT HUMONCOMICS.COM!! was so sure I had included that but apparently I forgot, so sorry!

and there's so many more species than this that exhibit homosexuality, varying genders, etc. SO! MANY!

it's very much a natural thing. it always has been. unfortunately, while homosexuality is found in many species, homophobia is only found in one

EDIT: added a keep reading cause this is a long post lol

EDIT: everyone in the comments needs to shut up or I will turn comments off, stop arguing, jeez

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Like/reblog if you think that you don't need to medically transition to be transgender

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I'm a big fan of the skk dynamic of them talking like they hate each other but their actions saying otherwise. And they would definitely never openly acknowledge those actions.

Dazai saying Chuuya’s hats are the tackiest, ugliest things he’s ever seen…but one day Chuuya notices a new hat amongst his collection that he definitely didn't buy himself, but loves the look of. He knows there is only one person with the audacity to break into a pm executive’s apartment.

During a joint ada/pm endeavour Dazai has a cold and is putting on the theatrics and Chuuya calls him a dramatic, whiny baby with the constitution of a wet kitten…but later on he stops by Dazai’s place with cold and flu meds and some soup he made himself. He bangs on the door to get Dazai’s attention and then leaves without saying a word before the door can be opened.

Chuuya intermittently leaving drunken voicemails angrily demanding Dazai stop using his damn card for his ridiculous and pricey purchases. But when Chuuya gets a new card when the old one expires he texts him his new card details with no context or explanation.

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Books would have much more sales

if they were all printed in the Ao3 font.

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Did ao3 update?

Is jt js me or did it change??????!!?

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AAAAAAA I ACCIDENTALLY CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS HELP

IDK MY MOUTH WORKED B4 I COULD THINK. OMG HELLLPPPP. (at least it was js my sexuality lmao) NSHSMAKAJDHS

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I think one of the funniest parallels in Stormbringer has to be the way Dazai and Chuuya... used one another as an excuse to cling onto life/humanity. It happens in similar settings too!

We have Dazai, who's presented with the most perfect death imaginable: a way to die quickly and painlessly. But then Mori, the mentor figure who forced himself into that role in Dazai's life, says:

"Your perfect death will end up as double suicide with you and Chuuya." And that's enough to make him turn around and act serious LMAO by the mention of death with Chuuya, or maybe even just Chuuya dying, this boy suddenly wanted to live (as if Chuuya wasn't the reason he found interest in life at Fifteen... I see what you're doing, Asagiri)

Then we have Chuuya, who's been backed into a corner. He could easily snap Professor N's neck to get back at him for... everything. And we have Verlaine, the mentor figure currently forcing himself into that narrative, pushing Chuuya to descend to that same hatred. But then Chuuya says:

"I'd never think the same way Dazai does."

Bro no one's mentioned Dazai in this context, why is he in your head, why's he in your little speech about holding on to your humanity?

Stupid.

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Mini marshmallow tier list

My neurodivergent ass decided to be all thingy with mini marshmallows so :3

6. Tescos- Horrid aftertaste, worse of all worlds. Cant but pinto perspective how much i hate it. May be a hyperbole. But oh well

5. Sainburys- Same as tescos but the aftertaste is more bareable

4. That kne time lidl switched (istg if i happens again im crying)- A step up from sainburys but…

3. Co-op - Weird texture and a bit of aftertaste

2. Aldi- Pretty much perfect. but a bit of aftertaste

Lidl- Heavean. Perfect texture, taste, everything.

Also im so like picky i could probably tell the difference from each store lol

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Yes im talking in insane detail about how awesome and cool they are, and how pretty they look. But i am *NOT* crushkng on them i wanna be them (so bad)

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Ramblings of lunatics

Mom: So why are you so tired. I sent you two to bed so early

(Me and my brother at night)

Me: So back on this topic… what is the square root of a helicopter.

~ Brother: OMG I JUST REALISED LACTOSE INTOLERANT PEOPLE CANT HAVE MILK

~ Me: Ok so why did you ask Alexa whats 0 x 23?

Brother: Don’t act like you didn’t just almost do a Mari… i didn’t even do anything

~

Brother: Well i have a fear of death so like what. Do i get rid of it with therapy?

Brother:

Brother: How much does therapy cost?

Alexa: (a lot act like a number is here pls and ty)

Me: OMG WHAT! Oh wait shut up bro healthcare is free here.

~ Me: DUDE WE’RE BACK AT SQUARE ONE ALL THIS EQUATION ID JUST THE SQUAREROOT OF HELICOPTER. WE’RE IN A NEVER ENDKNF CYCLE

Brother: AAAAAAAAA

~

Me, caressing his face: So like yk, ur eye would sell great

Brother: So would your arm

~

Brother: Thank you for leadjng me to light. Ducks are the best we must decimate those who hate.

(with mom)

Me: Well we just like sleeping

Brother: (nodding) :3