ilovespidermansomuch - Tumblr blog

[ilovespidermansomuch]

"I hate thinking guys!"

joel is me, I am him

[ilovespidermansomuch]

I think I know what's going on here. You have all these big, intense feelings, these periods of emptiness... And you don't know where to put it all. You say you want to die after only a week of thinking about it at age 18, and then make a post about it in the Bojack Horseman tag in a desperate bid for anyone to pull you out of the whirlpool you're stuck in.

You're going to keep spiralling unless you seek help. Real, professional help. Comfort from friends and loved ones is nice and necessary, but it's a bandaid for what you're going through. It's not going to help you deal with the ups and downs. It's not going to help you deal with things like the terror and despair you feel at the idea of being left behind & abandoned, or dissociating all the time, or whatever drives you to destroy yourself. What you're dealing with is serious shit, and everyone who loves you will be so proud of you for admitting that it's time you need real help. You can even ask a friend to find you local resources for free or at a reduced cost, and drive you there or go to an appointment with you by bus or cab. Trust me, they would much rather do that than see you dead. They want to stay with you, and they want to support you, and you have to help them to help you.

Always remember, if you have a plan to go through with it, call emergency services.

tw sui

look, I get youre trying to be helpful but u don't know my situation at all so please don't assume.

I have been feeling suicidal since I was 10, and it's not an intense feeling, it's being numb.

also the reason I tagged bojack horseman was bc I thought it was funny and I have stated this in my blog that this is like my diary.

I have a therapist with whom I am conversing with about these feelings, and I have been attending them for 2 years now. I have been to the hospital to ask for "real help" and they dismissed me.

I know you're trying to be helpful but you don't know me at all or my situation, and I don't know you either. so you do not know "what's going on here" and I do not want you to tell me you know what I'm going through

I appreciate the help and care alot though, but I only ask you do not assume especially since I don't think you know me

thank you though

[ilovespidermansomuch]

I’m still really hoping you’re okay, don’t feel bad about worrying me I just hope you’re safe

I'm ok for now, thank you<33

[ilovespidermansomuch]

tw sui

planning my sewerslide and my first thought was to make a final reference 😭

[ilovespidermansomuch]

bro let the thoughts win

[ilovespidermansomuch]

need someone to draw jim marrying Joel with grian as the painter (and the photo he included as the painting)

plsss I have no artistic skill 😭🙏🙏🙏🫶

[ilovespidermansomuch]

I'm so bored anyone wanna play games with me or chat plsss

[ilovespidermansomuch]

*seductively* would you.. be interested in doing a unfunny bit with me sometime.. just the two of us..

[ilovespidermansomuch]

my friend sent me a tiktok ab being a trans masc with a "pinkie pie voice" and said its me,

and she knows how dysphoric I am ab my voice like come on 😭

[ilovespidermansomuch]

OK SO ILL SHARE MY USERNAME SO U CAN FRIEND REQUEST 🫡

wornmud#5158

does anyone wanna play among us with me pls idk why but I need to play and it's much better with ppl 😭🙏🙏🙏

I can make a priv one and then share the code here?

plsss 🙏🙏🙏

[ilovespidermansomuch]

here's the code if anyone wants to join pls 🙏🙏

WIUTVF

does anyone wanna play among us with me pls idk why but I need to play and it's much better with ppl 😭🙏🙏🙏

I can make a priv one and then share the code here?

plsss 🙏🙏🙏

[ilovespidermansomuch]

does anyone wanna play among us with me pls idk why but I need to play and it's much better with ppl 😭🙏🙏🙏

I can make a priv one and then share the code here?

plsss 🙏🙏🙏

[ilovespidermansomuch]

I miss my homeee

I wanna go back to himmmm

why do they have to live so far awayyyy

[ilovespidermansomuch]

saw it and thought of him

[ilovespidermansomuch]

[ilovespidermansomuch]

i think my favorite thing ever is getting home after a busy ass day and getting to look at the spam my boyfriend sends me because he knows i like it 🥰🥰🥰