incorrect-skylanders-quotes

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Spyro: Is that- is that a lead pipe?

Imaginator: (walking towards Sorcerer Doomlander) Yep.

Spyro: I don’t understand, what’s a lead pipe gonna do-

(Imaginator fucking demolishes Sorcerer Doomlander’s shins with one swing, before continuing to beat his shins with the pipe)

Spyro: You don’t have like a magical star beam or energy blast or something!?

Imaginator: Yeah, I guess I do. But like, what even is a star beam, you know? Now, a lead pipe to the shins?

(Imaginator accidentally drops the lead pipe on Doomlander’s shins)

Imaginator: …That's just reliable, baby.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Golden Queen: What did you want to be when you were small?

Wolfgang: Hm?

Golden Queen: You didn't want to be this

*Golden Queen flicks at Wolfgang's fur*

Golden Queen: I'm sure of that. No child wants to become something like you

*Wolfgang looks away*

Golden Queen: I wanted to be a ballerina

Wolfgang: ... Pfft, a ballerina?

Golden Queen: Yes

(Source unknown)

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Don't ask me where I got this one from-

Kaos: Yes… YES!!! I had created the most EVIL "Operating System" ever! BEHOLD!!! WINDOWS 11-

Clippy: It looks like you're plotting an evil plan, would you like help with that?

Kaos: What? BEGONE YOU ANNOYING PAPERCLIP! NOBODY LIKES YOOOU!!! (Clicks "Shut up, Clippy!")

Clippy: It looks like you insulted me, would you like to downgrade to Windows 1.0?

Kaos: NOOO!!! HOW DARE YOU OFFER TO DOWNGRADE ME!

————

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

(Spyro and Stealth Elf are chilling on a couch)

Spyro: (scrolling through his phone) …Been a quiet few months, hasn’t it?

Stealth Elf: (reading a book) Yep.

Jet-Vac: (covered in flames, running past the two) FRYNO SET THE ACADEMY ON FIRE!!!

Stealth Elf: (tossing aside her book) And there it goes.

Spyro: Welp, back to our semi-regularly scheduled bullshit.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Jawbreaker: Wha-What the fuck is that?

Dr. Krankcase: (in a giant mech) This is the machine that I just built that I’m gonna fight you with! (points at Jawbreaker)

Jawbreaker: Who’re you pointing at?

Dr. Krankcase: I’m pointing at nothing!

Jawbreaker: I’M NOT NOTHING, TAKE IT BACK, I’LL KILL YOU_

Dr. Krankcase: (exhales) Bitch, you look like a garbage can, I cant- Like, I’m not taking that from you! I’m really not!

Jawbreaker: Bitch, you look like a thumb with goggles.

Dr. Krankcase: Bitch, you’re built like the Ouya, don’t talk to me!

Jawbreaker: Bro, you built like the controller for the Ouya.

Dr. Krankcase: Heh heh, bitch… (erupts into laughter at the comeback)

Dr. Krankcase: Anyway, I’m gonna kill you now! I wanna end your life!

Jawbreaker: DEATH MODE: ENGAGED_

Dr. Krankcase: Evilikins! Turn Jawbreaker into a Minecraft brick!

Jawbreaker: ME, TURN KRANKCASE INTO DEAD_

Dr. Krankcase: what? You can’t do that…

(sounds of violence commence)

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Camo: (pointing at fruit-themed wallpaper) This is a lick-able wall.

Pop Fizz: You can lick these fruits?

Camo: Yeah, try it.

(Pop Fizz, Flashwing, and Eruptor immediately begin licking the wall)

Flashwing: ...I don't taste anything.

Pop Fizz: Me neither.

Camo: I never said it tasted like anything.

Eruptor: You said it was lick-able!

Camo: Anything is lick-able.

Flashwing: So we just licked a regular wall?

Camo: (shit-eating grin) Yeah. You looked so stupid.

(Flashwing and Eruptor begin coughing in disgust while Pop Fizz goes to lick the wall again)

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Boomer: Bash?

Bash: Yeah? What's up?

Boomer: Did I ever tell you that I was taught how to suck up bombs?

Bash:

Boomer: Like a pro?

Bash: ...Like...Why were you eating bombs?

Boomer: Oh, it was a game that we would play in the Troll Army. Uhh, a troll would run around and another troll would chase him, and then they'd both laugh, and then we'd start eating and sucking on bombs.

Boomer: Troll humor is weird, y'know, in retrospect, we'd kinda-

Bash: H-how are- how are you alive?!

Boomer: Uhh, I'm not.

(Boomer fades away into nothing)

Bash:

Bash: ...What the shit

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

(The Minis experiencing Christmas in their older years)

Whisper Elf: Is it just me, or does Christmas get a lot harder to shop for the older you get?

Drobit: Right? Oh, what would you like for Christmas? Oh, I do not know, financial security? Stable employment?

Spry: A nap.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Skull: I want to get run over.

Hex: Aw, come on, it’s Christmas! Get into the holiday spirit!

Skull: I want to get run over by a reindeer.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Spyro: Skylanders, the Doom Raiders are on their way as we speak! Let's get ready for some action!

Gill Grunt: Alright!

George: You got it!

Spyro: Skylanders, unite!

(The Skylanders begin teleporting with the Portal of Power)

Ghost Roaster: Right behind you guys- (portal starts glitching out) -aw, c'mon-

George: Guys, guys, hold on. Ghost Roaster, you alright?

Ghost Roaster: Yeah no- no I'm alright, I think I'm just stuck.

Spyro: What's the matter, is everything alright?

George: It's Ghost Roaster, he's stuck.

Spyro: Is that true, Ghost Roaster?

Ghost Roaster: I'm afraid so.

Spyro: I see...

Spyro: Alright, guess we're putting you down.

George: So how do you fix- W-what?!

Spyro: Gill, get Cali, we're putting him down.

Gill Grunt: Alright!

George: Gill, wait! Spyro, what's gotten into you?! What're you saying??

Spyro: George, what's gotten you so worked up?

George: What's gotten me-? You're gonna put down a teammate because he got stuck!

Spyro: ...Yeah.

George: Why?!

Spyro: Oh, George. I know all this might seem a little odd to you, but this is just basic procedure.

George: What do you mean "basic procedure"??

Spyro: Well, a Skylander's portal traveling is meant to be almost second nature, but if they get stuck during that process... we kill 'em.

George: You phrased that like- like it explained anything but it didn't.

Spyro: George, I know this seems harsh. It might even sound cruel! But it's just the way things have to be. Ghost Roaster understands that more than anybody, don't you, Ghost?

Ghost Roaster: (casually) Yep, just basic procedure.

George: Wait, you're actually okay with all of this?

Ghost Roaster: ...Yeah.

George: But- but you're gonna die!

Ghost Roaster: Yeah, but it's basic procedure.

Spyro: It's basic procedure.

George: (getting increasingly distressed) What the fuck...

Cali: Got here as soon as I could!

Spyro: Great! Did you bring the stick?

George: The stick?

Gill Grunt: For putting Ghost Roaster down!

George: Jesus Christ- or whatever you guys believe in- You guys are gonna beat him to death with a stick?!

Spyro: ...Basic procedure-

George: Stop talking about basic procedure! Don't you see how insane this all sounds?!! I mean, put aside the fact we're killing the guy, you guys have all kinds of weapons and tools and laser beams, and you guys are using a special stick?! A special stick?!!

Spyro: Yeesh, George, relax! We don't have some sort of "special stick" for things like this, that's barbaric!

Spyro: It's just gotta be a big one! Like this, here, see? (holds up comically large stick)

Ghost Roaster: Now that's a beating stick!

George: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER!

Spyro: Really, George, would you rather we use a small stick? That'd just be cruel.

Ghost Roaster: Dick.

George: Guys, come on! Seriously, just- just come on! Listen, back on Earth, when someone has something wrong with them we don't just kill 'em, we help them! Now I'm sure if you guys just give me a chance, I can help Ghost Roaster, we don't have to kill him! You guys are always on about the sanctity of life and the importance of keeping people safe, why not this? Come on, what'dya say?

Spyro: ...But that's not procedure.

George: Oh, come on!

Gill Grunt: It's just not how things are done.

Cali: And I've already got the stick...

George: Holy shit, well what kind of procedure is this? How often has this happened??

Spyro: Hmmm, twice I think? Yeah, I think it was twice.

Gill Grunt: Three times technically, but it was with a lead pipe one time, which was controversial.

(The Doom Raiders teleport in on the Portal)

Golden Queen: (evil laughter) I was wondering where you fools were holed up!

Spyro: Golden Queen!

Golden Queen: Your day of reckoning has finally arrived! Now begins the end of the so-called Skylanders! Doom Raiders, attack!!

Dr. Krankcase: Here we goo-

Dr. Krankcase: (suddenly starts glitching out on the portal) Oh- oh no- oh-god oh shit-

Golden Queen: Oh, come on, is he stuck?! Oh yeah, he- he's stuck, definitely stuck...

Golden Queen: Alright, gotta kill him.

Ghost Roaster: Hey, that's a twofer!

Golden Queen: You guys got a stick?

Spyro: Yeah we've got it-

George: Spyro, are you serious?! They're the bad guys! Why the hell are you giving them the stick-

George: (pinching bridge of his nose) -it's the basic procedure...

Spyro: It's basic procedure.

Golden Queen: It's just basic procedure.

George: (leaving) Alright, fuck you guys. Bye. Later. I'm gone.

Everyone: ...

Dr. Krankcase: We’ve managed to avoid drowning-

Spyro: What's that?

Dr. Krankcase: Nothing.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Spyro: We are throwing a Halloween party at our house! It’s gonna be the greatest thing ever!

Cynder: Someone will die.

Spyro: Of fun!

Cynder: And of murder.

Spyro: There’s going to be beer, pumpkins—

Cynder: Bloody goblins.

Spyro: Fake ones. It’s gonna be awesome. We have decorations—

Cynder: Dead people that we just murdered.

Spyro: Not murdered! But pictures of dead people from TV or movies-

Cynder: Mutilated bodies.

Spyro: F-fake ones. Candy, dancing, tequila. All kinds of food and snacks-

Cynder: Blood orphans.

Spyro: No—no blood orphans. I... don’t know what that is...

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Blackout: I am no goth, whatever they are.

Spotlight: Dark duds, dark outlook. Dude, you’re a goth.

——

Dark Spyro: I am no goth, whatever they are.

Whirlwind: Dark duds, dark outlook. Dude, you’re a goth.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Fist Bump: I’m confused. We’re being impulsive, are you supposed to kick or knock when you’re impulsive?

Dune Bug: Knock with your foot?

Fist Bump: Brilliant!

(Fist Bump aggressively knocks on the door with his foot)

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

(Blackout and High Five are spying on a henchman)

Blackout: I recognize him. He was gooning for Wolfgang just a few months ago. Guess he's gooning for Kaos now.

High Five: Stop saying gooning.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Eruptor: (reading) …One… fiss-huh… Twoah fiss-huh…

Spyro: Are you serious?

Eruptor: You picked a hard one on purpose!

Stealth Elf: It’s a Dr. Seuss book you fucking dipshit!

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

welcome everybody

I am Muhammad Imad Abdel Latif Sharab

First, after an aggressive war on Gaza City and its revival, we were displaced from our 3-storey house in which I and my family of 3 members live.

My father's family consists of 8 members

My grandfather, may God have mercy on him, was martyred by occupation aircraft on 12/14/2023.

The one who was martyred while he was leaving the house to check on our house next to him, which could not be reached due to a brutal enemy who does not differentiate between anyone in death, went out to check on our house, which we were not in because of my displacement to Rafah, me, my father, and our families due to the intensity of the fighting in Khan Yunis, and after that A few days ago, our store in which my father and brothers work was bombed by occupation aircraft. He was working to gather his strength from it and meet the needs of our house, which no longer exists due to the bombing. We ask you to help and contribute, even if just a little, by donating to us so that we can compensate for a little of what we lost.

Many thanks to you 😢

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

If you do not understand the words well, because I am not very good at English, but I ask you to help me with money so that I can compensate for even a little of what I lost, and I am very grateful to you, my dears😢🥺😢🥺😢🥺🥺😢

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Flameslinger: (wearing a shitty disguise) Hello, mon ami. My name is Oliver Clothesoff.

Hex: (wearing an equally terrible disguise) And I’m his lovely wife, Olive Garden.

Spyro: You two are fired from undercover missions forever.