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Chan: [looks at felix] one taught me love

Chan: [looks at seungmin] one taught me patience

Chan: [looks at changbin, being egged on by jisung and Minho into eating a tide pod] one taught me kids are so fukiNG STUPID SEO CHANGBIN PUT THAT THING DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD-

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Jisung: The stars are very beautiful tonight

Hyunjin: yeah...

Jisung: you know who else is beautiful?

Hyunjin: *blushes* who?

Jisung: Minho

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Chan: How are we supposed to get cake ready in an hour?

Hyunjin: We could buy a cake in less than an hour

Felix: No, I don’t wanna buy a cake...

Jeongin: We should just draw a cake! It’s the though that counts, right?!

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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Jin, with Yeonjun and Huening Kai behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes... three.

Jin: Oh, my god- TAEHYUN FUCKING FELL OFF

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Namjoon: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.

Jimin: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned” vs “Sorry daddy, I’ve been bad.”

Namjoon: Great news! Language has been cancelled!!!!

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Taehyung: okay, let’s stop using the term ‘butthurt’, we’re not twelve anymore.

Jungkook: you sound a little asstroubled.

Hoseok: a little bootybothered if you ask me.

Jimin: someone’s having a tushytantrum.

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Suga: You can say ‘Have a nice day’ and there’s no problem.

Suga: But when you say 'Enjoy your next 24 hours’ you sound like a murderer.

Namjoon:...

Namjoon: Yoongi, please. We’re in a meeting..

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*to the mirror*

Jin: I don’t dress to impress, I dress to depress. I look so good, I make everyone hate themselves.

*fly kiss*

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Jk: Hey Hyung what’s for lunch today?

Jin: ...Food

Jk: No, like what are we having?

Jin: An unwanted conversation.

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Taehyung: Why do people even talk to babies? It’s not like they can understand anything.

Yeontan:

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Jimin: truth or dare.

Jungkook: truth.

Jimin: how many hours have you slept this week?

Jungkook: dare.

Jimin: go to sleep

Jungkook: i dont like this game.

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Namjoon: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you have to act wisely.

Jimin: Ok.

Yoongi: Sure.

Namjoon: If you want to live, give me all your money.

Jimin: Bold of you to assume that I have money.

Yoongi: Bold of you to assume that I want to live.

Namjoon: Guys, no-

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Namjoon: Where is Taehyung? I hear explosions and he’s gone missing. I’m sure that is not a coincidence.

*in the distance*

Taehyung: I GO BY THE NAME OF MONSTER WELCOME TO THE MONSTER PLAZA THIS IS CYPHER IMMA RIDER IMMA RIDE IT LIKE A BIKER OH SHI-