incorrecthomer

[incorrecthomer]

Agamemnon: Everyone synchronise your watches. Menelaus: I don't know how to do that. Achilles: I don't wear a watch. Odysseus: Time is a construct.

[incorrecthomer]

Agamemnon: *enters password* Computer: Your password is weak. Agamemnon: *lifts computer up* Agamemnon: *throws it out the window* Agamemnon, looking out of the window: WHO'S WEAK NOW?!

[incorrecthomer]

Odysseus: Help! I'm drowning!! Agamemnon: Calm down we're only in like six feet of water. Odysseus: NOT ALL PEOPLE ARE TALL!!!

[incorrecthomer]

[texting] Calypso: What are you doing? Odysseus: I'm in bed. Eating chips. Calypso: What would you be doing if I were with you? Odysseus: I would be eating chips. Calypso: No, I mean if there were no chips. Just you and me. In bed. Odysseus: I would go to the store to buy some chips.

[incorrecthomer]

Patroclus: Don't kill me I have a boyfriend Hector: You think I care about that? Patroclus: No this isn't a plea for mercy, it's a warning Hector: what- Achilles, appearing out of nowhere: ARE YOU READY TO DIE?!?

[incorrecthomer]

Menelaus: So, how’s parenthood treating you? Penelope: Good. I didn’t expect this much crying, though. Menelaus: Don’t worry, it’s normal for babies. Penelope: What? The baby’s fine. I was talking about Odysseus. Odysseus, sobbing from Telemacus' room: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

[incorrecthomer]

Paris: Hector is choking, I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn't working! Deiphobus: Turn it upside down and use the 6! Paris: Genius! Hector: *stops chocking momentarily* What the fuck.

[incorrecthomer]

Telamon: this is my son Ajax and his brother Teucer Peleus: aren't they both your sons? why is Teucer not given the son title? Telamon: i don't like him

[incorrecthomer]

Achilles: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment? Patroclus: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

[incorrecthomer]

Diomedes: I have a bad feeling about this. Agamemnon: What do you mean? Diomedes: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble? Agamemnon: No? Diomedes: That actually explains so much.

[incorrecthomer]

Odysseus: Anything interesting happen on patrol? Ajax: Not really Odysseus: Nothing at all? Seriously? Ajax: Well Agamemnon did get hit by a chariot Odysseus: What?! Are you o- Achilles: Over or under Agamemnon: Both Achilles: Awesome

[incorrecthomer]

Priam: Cassandra, keep an eye on Paris today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched. Cassandra: Sure! I'd love to see Paris get punched! Priam: Try again. Cassandra, rolling her eyes: I will stop Paris from getting punched. Priam: Correct.

[incorrecthomer]

Diomedes: Are you sugaring your burrito? Odysseus, ripping open 4 sugar packets: Food is anarchy, Diomedes. Live by your own rules.

[incorrecthomer]

Paris: Hey, I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Helen: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

[incorrecthomer]

Agamemnon, going over Odysseus 's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative. Odysseus: Yes Agamemnon: Okay... may I know what you create? Odysseus: Problems.

[incorrecthomer]

Menelaus: As your best friend- Odysseus: Diomedes is my best friend. Menelaus: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND

[incorrecthomer]

Briseis: Do you want a burger? I made it. It has extra pickles. Achilles: Of course! Patroclus, whispers: Don't eat that, you're allergic to pickles! Achilles: Shh. I don't care. Just call an ambulance after.