#incorrect iliad

[incorrecthomer]

Ajax: are you okay, Achilles ? Achilles, sighing: Patroclus used to call me Achilles. Ajax: yeah because it's your fucking name.

[meditando-en-paris]

Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.

Achilles: *Loud gasp*

[simugeuge]

Pallas Athena

Imparts wisdom

Bossy, borderline dangerous attitude

Stalks you

Represented by an owl

Duolingo

Imparts wisdom

Bossy, borderline dangerous attitude

Stalks you

Represented by an owl

[marsdeathdefiances]

Achilles: I got in trouble during the council.

Patroclus: Why?

Achilles: Odysseus pointed a stick at me and said ‘the person on the end of this stick is incompetent’ so I asked ‘which end’

Patroclus: *laughing* I’m so proud of you babe.

[this-and-this-and-this2]

Diomedes: Achilles, do you support the LGBTQ community ?

Achilles, pulling Patroclus into a delicate kiss: I'm gay.

Odysseus: He's avoiding the question!

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

How their first meeting actually went-

Patroclus : Hi I'm patroclus and you are?

Achilles : in love with you

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Achilles: See I'm straight but if there was a man I would marry it'd be Patroclus.

Briseis: How do you feel about that, Pat?

Patroclus:

Patroclus: It's not helping with the rumors.

Briseis: I think the kiss you guys shared in my tent isn't helping with the rumors.

Achilles: Yeah I just hate that he didn't give me enough tongue.

[godsofhumanity]

Achilles: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Patroclus: But how- Achilles: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

[history-enjoyer]

So I was trying to explain the events of the Iliad to my dad and I was at the part where Achilles ragequits and goes to sulk in his tent with Patroclus and my dad literally went,

“Wow they seem like such good friends!”

Like what are you dad, a historian?

[roseblack12]

Agamemon:We have to talk about a serious problem

Diomedes:Odysseus lack of childhood/family trauma ?

Menelaus:yes, it's so weird right ?

[incorrecthomer]

Hector: did you eat all my powdered donuts? Paris: *mouth full*...No Hector: then, what's all the white powder on your tunic? Paris: ... Paris: that's cocaine

[meditando-en-paris]

Achilles: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Patroclus: AS ENEMIES?!

[simugeuge]

Friendly reminder that greek mythology retellings are retellings, not summaries. Please don't try to know the original source through them.

I wouldn't like Epic to end up getting as much hate as TSOA, just because people can't tell the difference between rendition and canon.

Let retellings frolick in their happy place 🌈🍭

[marsdeathdefiances]

*after Patroclus’ death*

Phoenix: Are you okay?

Achilles: Super.

Phoenix: Are you being honest?

Achilles: Kill me.

[this-and-this-and-this2]

Patroclus: Achilles, can I have some money for some coke, please?

Achilles: Will 40 bucks be okay?

Patroclus: It's 3,99.

Achilles: Wow, this is cheap! Who's your dealer?

Patroclus: Coca cola?

Patroclus: I'm telling Chiron about this...

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

Patroclus *exists*

Achilles :