âThe term âlaws of scienceâ implies the existence of science crimesâ.
-Mr. Benedict when he started investigating the Emergency
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Kate: Our hearts say yes.
Reynie: But Milligan says no.
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Sticky: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second.
Constance: Canât lose what you never had.
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âLook, S.Q. is great, but he also doesnât have a life plan. He doesnât even have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said âput on pantsâ followed by a question markâ.
-Reynie
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Kate: If our group was taken by a flock of huge birds, what would happen?
Sticky:
Constance:
Reynie: What kind of question is that?
Kate: A hypothetical one. Just answer.
Reynie: Okay.... Well, they'd catch Sticky pretty easily, but probably return him after five minutes because... well... ya know
Sticky: Fair. Continue, I'm intrigued.
Reynie: Kate would be taken to the nest and acclimate with the family within hours. Within days she'd be like Tarzan, and within weeks, she'd be the Queen of the forest.
Kate: Obviously. And Reynie would befriend the baby birds and turn them to his side, then overtake the whole clan.
Reynie: Yep
Sticky: What about Constance?
Kate: Hmmm... I dunno. What do you think, Connie?
Constance: I'd kick them in the balls and run away. I won't be taken down by some stupid birds.
Sticky:
Reynie:
Sticky: I don't think birds have...
Kate: No, no, no. She's got the right idea.
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âIf people would just stop constantly betraying me, it would cut the amount of time I spend on revenge in halfâ.
-Martina
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Mrs. Washington: We raised a perfectly well-functioning child.
Sticky: You had another one I didnât know about?
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Constance: Dear tall people: If we are ever walking together, please take into consideration my tiny legs. I donât want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll, you TITANS.
Kate: Just climb onto my back and hang on, we donât have all day!
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Mr. Benedict: Success is the best revenge.
Mr. Curtain: Bullshit. Revenge is the best revenge.
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Constance: Am I made of atoms?
Sticky: Yes, everything is.
Constance: Are shadows?
Sticky:
Constance: Are dreams?
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Reynie: Constance, I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Constance: I promised other people I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave my word, so...
Reynie: Wh-Who else do you talk to???
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Kate: I made a marshmallow Constance Contraire. See? Her arms are crossed because sheâs mad at all of her marshmallow friends for annoying her. Do you like it?
Constance: *tearing up* Itâs fine.
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Halloween@The Benedict House
Rhonda: What are you, darling? Whereâs your costume?
Constance: This is my costume. Iâm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.
@incorrectmbsquotes
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âJust because Iâm lying, doesnât mean itâs not trueâ.
-Mr. Curtain
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(Kate and Sticky reading)
Reynie: I am a cashier at a farmerâs market in Stonetown. We sell a huge variety of stuff, including fresh shrimp. Today a child walked by our shrimp cooler and started chanting,
Tai: Shrimp! Heaven! NOW!
Reynie: Emphasis on the ânowâ. Eventually leading his sister to say-
Constance: Please, Tai, we canât keep doing this.
Reynie: What is Shrimp Heaven? Why does Tai need it now? What are my responsibilities in this situation, if any?
Kate (reading): âIâm confused and delighted by this sloganeering child, but I fear something darker may lay under the surface.â Thatâs from Sh- Shrimp Jesus Will ReturnâŚ
Sticky (laughing): Shrimp! Heaven! NOW!
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Reynie: I have a bad feeling about this...
Kate: What do you mean?
Reynie: Donât you get the little voice in your head that tells you if youâre going to get in trouble?
Kate: No?
Reynie: That explains a lot I guess.
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Constance: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough one day to surpass me.
Reynie: You cannot say that every time I beat you at chess.
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