#Source: Tumblr

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.

Duke: I fucking guess.

[selfship-quotes]

S/I: No, no. These are horrors beyond your comprehension. I understand them, though. I desire them carnally.

[incorrect-kaishinshi]

Shinichi, after briefing another one of his insane plans: Thoughts?

Shiho: And prayers. Holy shit.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Moon: *holding a deck of cards* Pick a card, any card.

Moon: …

Moon: Put my debit card back into my wallet, Eclipse.

[fansiesmemes]

Davey: Jellyfish have been living for over 600000 years without brains

Jack: A ray of hope for Race then

[marsinoff]

Max: I just got diagnosed as your soulmate, Charles. Charles: Yeah, sorry. Now we must spend the rest of our lives together.

[incorrectly-quoting-murderdrones]

Thad: *Sneezes*

V, in the vents: Bless you.

Thad: God?

[zootopiathingz]

Lute: your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Adam: jokes on him. I’ll ruin his fucking life.

[graveyardgang]

Logan, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: “I’m losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There is blood on my hands.”

[incorrect-fnaf-quotes]

Michael: If black and green means radioactive... black and red mean edgy, and black and blue means futuristic...

Michael: What does black and yellow mean?

Funtime Freddy: According to all known laws of aviation-

Michael:

[incorrectjokerout]

Kris:I'm full of rage,but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

At Miss Pauling's birthday party

Sniper: Why was she born so beautiful, why was she born at all? Because she had no say in it, no say in it at all!

Miss Pauling and the other mercs: *confused existential horror*

Sniper: Do you not sing this in other countries?

Engineer: No, we do not sing a lament for someone’s personal beauty wishing they’d never been born. That is some weird Greek tragedy shit.

[selfship-quotes]

Alien F/O: Hello, I come in peace.

S/I: Bro, wtf an alien.

Alien F/O: Yeah, totally.

S/I: Dude, that is awesome. How can I totally be of assistance?

Alien F/O: Take me to your lizards.

S/I: ...

S/I: Do you mean leader?

Alien F/O: *hands S/I a satellite image of a T-Rex* Nah bro, take me to your lizards.

S/I: Bro...... you just...... I'm sorry bro...... you just missed um man...... you just barely missed them.

[ask-runaan-anything]

Ethari: You know Archaic Draconic?

Runaan: I got bored with Ancient Draconic.

Ethari: You know Ancient Draconic??

Runaan: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me.

Ethari: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB?

Runaan: You don't know everything about me, Craftsman. Now do you want a sweater or a scarf?

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Moon: I’m gonna kill you!

Eclipse: Seriously? I’ve died so many times that my tombstone says BRB instead of RIP.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Eddie: Life is a party and I’m the piñata.