#Source: Brooklyn Nine Nine

[gardentool]

Nanami: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Gojo: Yes.

Nanami: I was hula-hooping. Y/N and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Gojo: Oh my god.

Nanami: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Gojo: Why are you telling me all this?

Nanami: Because no one will ever believe you.

Gojo: You sick son of a bitch.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people; Mother, Father, and Richard. And one of those I regret. Jon: Which one? Damian: Richard. He didn’t die, so now I look like an idiot.

[waterfire1848]

[ AU where the Batkids are kids. ]

Bruce: Clark! Where is Damian’s stuffed cow!?

Clark: Umm…he must have left it in the watchtower. Don’t worry. I’ll get it tomorrow and-

Bruce: Let me be clear. Damian can’t sleep without that stuffed animal, and if Damian doesn’t sleep his siblings don’t sleep and if none of the kids sleep-

Clark: I know. Bruce doesn’t sleep.

Bruce, holding Kryptonite: No. Clark doesn’t live!

[queerlyoddly]

tim: Rules are made to be broken.

bruce: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

jason: Uh, piñatas.

dick: Glow sticks.

damian: Karate boards.

cass: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

tim: Rules.

bruce:

[wildlyincorrect]

Glinda: Look, I know you think my judgment's clouded because I like Elphaba a little bit... Pfannee: You doodled your wedding invitation. Glinda: No, that's our joint tombstone. Pfannee: My mistake.

[dyingroses]

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[imbadatwrighting]

Dean: Do it, now. That’s an order.

Reader: Yeah, well, you don’t wanna start a battle of the wills with me because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. Not to brag, but I was name-checked in a demon’s suicide note.

Sam: Oh, my god.

[incorrectmarvelquotesss]

Sam: *nods* Bucky.

Bucky: *nods back* Sam.

Y/N: *nods* Y/N.

Sam: *stares at Y/N* You just said your own name.

Bucky: *glares at Sam* It was the only one left.

[barclaysangel]

Javadi: *to McKay* Thanks, mom.

Javadi: ...why is everyone staring at me?

Whitaker: You just called Dr. McKay "mom."

Mateo: You said, "thanks, mom."

Javadi: *panicking* What? No, I didn't. I said, "thanks, man."

McKay: *trying not to smile* Do you see me as a mother figure, Javadi?

Javadi: *panicking even more* No. If anything, I see you as a "bother" figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.

Santos: Hey, show your mother some respect!

[gardentool]

[Another Itadori training session]

Nanami: You couldn’t use Black Flash fast enough. You just killed Y/N.

Y/N: Honey…

Nanami: I can’t hear you, Y/N. You’re dead.

Nanami, to Yuji: They bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let's see.

Yuji: We don't have to do this.

Nanami: Ah, Itadori, how are things going with Y/N, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that?

Yuji: Okay, I get it.

Nanami: It's Y/N’s? This is devastating. I'm inconsolable. And…

[Nanami snaps his fingers]

Nanami: I’ve killed myself.

Yuji: Cool. I can see this is gonna be fun…

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: Was that weird earlier? When I told everyone I was gay. Was that too touchy-feely? Jon: Dami, no. It was great. And don't worry, just because you opened up a little doesn't mean everyone's gonna be any less afraid of you. Jon: We're all still terrified. Damian, genuinely touched: Thank you, Kent.

[lovelymagnoliarose]

In the Featherington gardens

Colin: This is where we were the night we fell in love.

Penelope: Colin.

Colin: The night we kissed for 15 seconds and I became obsessed with you forever.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 70

Jason: If I run and leap at Roy, he will most certainly catch me in his arms.

Jason, running: Coming in!

Roy: No-I'm-holding-coffee! *drops coffee and catches him*

Jason: Knock knock.

Roman: Who's there?

Jason: Amish Hank.

Roman: Amish Hank who?

Jason: Imma shank you! *stabs*

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Natasha: I swear, if anyone harms you, I will rip their heads off their bodies with my bare hands.

Y/N: That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me…

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie to Steve: The only reason you won is cause no one knew you were playing. It was a pathetic act of pure cowardice.

Dustin: Woah, Eddie, he's still your boyfriend.

Eddie spun to face Dustin and pointed at him.

Eddie: Not tonight, he isn't! *quickly turns to Steve* Although, don't kiss anyone else. I love you so much!