incorrecttonks

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*on patrol one day, Tonks and Moody stop a speeder on their broom.*

Moody: License and registration, please.

Random guy in a garage: *starts strumming a guitar and singing* Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Tonks and Moody: *turn to look at him.*

Random guy: Sorry, keep going.

Tonks: We’re going to let you off with a warning this time, okay?

Random guy: *singing* She puts the “short” in “shorty” and he looks like he wants to chase me.

Moody: Sir, we’re trying to work.

Random guy: Cop cuties, cute and on duty, navy blue booties, go ahead and lock me up.

Moody and Tonks: *start walking towards him*

Random guy: Arrest me, but make it sexy, sell me some meth please, so I can get arrested by this daddy of a cop-

Random guy: *closes the garage door*

Tonks: *singing* Arrest me, but make it sexy. Arrest me, but make it-

Moody: Nymphadora!

Tonks: Sorry, sir. It’s just really catchy.

Kingsley: *pauses the video* Imagine my surprise when I was reviewing this week’s body cam footage and I saw this.

Tonks: *turns bright red*

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Moody: What’s that saying? Those who can’t do, teach.

Tonks: *laughing* You were literally teacher. What are you saying?

Moody:

Tonks: You mentored me from day one. Taught me everything I know…

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Remus: *kisses Tonks*

Remus: *pulls back* Why are you sour?

Tonks: I was drinking lemonade.

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*Right after Tonks dumps her boyfriend*

Tonks: I love you! Oh, god! Oh my god! That just came flying out of my face! It was just so... kind of... I love you! I just... did it again! I- I love you. I-I do. I just- I- I love you, and I have been trying not to say it. I have been trying so hard to just mash it down and ignore it and not say it and... he is a great guy. He is... he's gorgeous and... and he's younger than you and he doesn't have any grandkids or... or babies with his lesbian bff and he's not a werewolf an-and he liked me! You know? He- he really liked me! But it was never gonna work out, because I- I love you. I'm so in love with you. And... you're... you're... you're in me. You're like... It's like you're a disease. It's like... I am infected by Remus Lupin and I just can't... I can't think about anything or anybody... and I can't sleep, I can't breathe, I can't eat, and I love you. I just- I love you all the time. It's every minute of every day. And I-I-I-I-I. Love. You.

Remus:...

Remus: Thank you for your candor.

Remus: *walks away.*

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Remus: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Sirius has been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Tonks: I mean, it's my family too, and you don't see me being a baby about it.

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Hey. I was just stalking your blog and well, you are plain amazing. That's all.

Aww, thank you so much!

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Sunday school teacher: Now, it says here in Mark 12:31 that you should “love your neighbor as yourself.” Anybody like to take a guess what that means?

Tonks, age 9: It means to be nice to the people who live next door.

Teacher: That’s right!

Tonks: But everybody else can go to hell.

Teacher: Okay, we don’t use that kind of language here.

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Kingsley: You’re losing blood!

Tonks: No, I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

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your account is one of my favourites! I always felt pretty alone with my love for tonks (and Remus + remadora) so just seeing your posts makes me really happy <3

That’s so sweet, thank you!

I’ve always loved Tonks, and a lot of people hate her for no reason, so I’m glad I’m not the only one!

<3

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Remus: I love you. So much.

Tonks: I love you so much too!

Sirius, pointing to the two of them: I love this so much.

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Molly: Kids, get in the car! Come on! The whole family is going to the spaghetti hut for dinner!

Harry: I guess I better go, then. See you tomorrow, Ron.

Molly: Where are you going?

Harry: What?

Molly: I said the whole family. Get in the car.

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Tonks: *get home from the store*

Sirius, very drunk: I’m calling CPS on you.

Tonks: What? Why?

Sirius: *points to Teddy* What kind of a mother leaves her child with a drunken idiot?!

Tonks: I left him here so you’d have a babysitter.

Remus, who was there the whole time: ...

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Tonks, walking to get her laundry in only a blanket: Everyone avert your eyes! I’m a little bit naked. My pajamas were a casualty of the toaster fire this morning!

Sirius, looking up from his crochet: The WHAT?!

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Remus: I know what you’re up to.

Tonks: Really? Because I barely know.

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Tonks: *falls down the stairs*

Remus: Are you okay?

Moody: Stop falling down the stairs!

Sirius: How’d the ground taste?

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Molly: You and Tonks seem to be quite close.

Remus: We are simply acquaintances. Besides, Tonks hardly seems to know I exist. She rushes past me like the wind.

Tonks: *runs in right past Remus* Merlin’s pants! Molly, have you seen Professor Lupin?

Molly: *grabs Tonks’s shoulders and turns her around* Behind you, darlin.

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Bellatrix: You’re constantly trying to save the world when you can’t even save yourself!

Tonks: I don’t need saving!

Bellatrix: There are many pitfalls a girl can fall into and you, Nymphadora, are headed towards all of them.