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Sometimes, you wonder whether you’re good enough. Why is it that everything you do is meaningless? That you never seem to be able to do anything right in their eyes, or that you come off self-centered when you’re doing everything possible to be as selfless as possible? When those around you, whether they’ve known you for months or known you for life, say you give up yourself and are the most loving, yet that one person denies all the claims of those around you. What, then, is the truth?

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How do you be you when someone else keeps trying to tell you how you should be living? You know what you’re feeling yet they keep insisting you’re feeling another way and won’t back down until you just tell them “yeah you’re right”. That everything you’ve ever known doesn’t matter in their eyes and only their way or words are right. That you should “know this” because you went to school for a certain degree, when in fact, it’s not common knowledge just because you got a certain degree. How do you live in the shadow of someone so seemingly oppresive?

I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

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What would you do? I'm about to give up.

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Friday arms.

Preacher curls:

25lbs 5x10

Alternating bicep curls:

10lbs 1x12

15lbs 4x10

Forearm cable curls:

30lbs 5x8

Bicep cable curls:

30lbs 4x10

Triceps pulldown:

40lbs 1x10

50lbs 1x10

60lbs 3x10

Overhead triceps pull:

50lbs 1x10

60lbs 3x10

Cable triceps extension:

10lbs 4x10

Cable double bicep curl:

10lbs 2x10

13lbs 3x10

Wrist curls:

20lbs 5x10

Incline narrow grip chest press:

25lbs 5x10

Cardio: 20 minutes

A buddy of ours kept coming by and chatting with us (totally don't mind it). I just found our interactions overly amusing because he'd always walk by as I'm in my set and says, "Look at yo' guns, girl!" The most awesome gym friend ever. On top of his cheery personality, there was another individual that totally gave me a shoutout today (shoutouts don't happen too often, so I always accept them, and well, it makes me feel good of course). As I was waiting to leave, an older woman approached me as I was listening to music (so I had to unplug). "Sorry, but I just had to tell you I love your shoulders." Seriously, not something she'd need to say sorry about. She really made me happy and proud. I'm not trying to gloat, but it really does make someone's day so much brighter when you stop them just to give them a compliment. So happy(:

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Thursday (11/20/14) back and shoulders:

3-min Elliptical warm-up.

Bent over row:

45lbs 1x12

95lbs 5x8

Deadlift:

95lbs 1x10

135lbs 2x8

185lbs 3x3

Seated dumbbell shoulder press:

10lbs 1x15

25lbs 4x10

Single arm side deltoid raises:

10lbs 1x12

15lbs 3x10

Single arm bent over dumbbell row:

25lbs 1x10

35lbs 2x10

40lbs 2x8

50lbs 3x6

Low cable row:

70lbs 1x12

80lbs 1x10

90lbs 1x10

100lbs 4x10

Various other exercises that I totally don't remember.

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Dear quads, Sorry I've been so inconsistent and have been reluctant to increase the weight. We hit 185lbs more than half a year ago and only now do I feel okay with getting out of my comfort zone. All I've been doing was giving myself excuses from reaching for more; not anymore. PR 2RM at 195lbs, but I felt like I could actually keep going without yet having to rely on any accessories (belt, shoes, sleeves, etc.--so much monies). Hope to PR some more. 200lbs is totally achievable. Love, This crazy-part-time-barista-full-time-nursing-student-that's-overly-sleep-deprived♡ P.S. Have I ever told you how much I love leg day? Well, I do. #girlswholift #notreadyforvideos #neverneglectlegs #calvesincluded #schoolcomesfirstthough (at Crunch Fitness - Daly City)

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So bored while waiting for the boyfriend to get off from work...decided to let the creative juices flow &he added some touches. Longest shift ever and I'm not even the one that's working. #gir #cupart #drawings #fallingasleep (at The Shops at Tanforan)

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Introducing my summer diet that's not a diet: salad, avocado, and protein-either hb eggs, chicken, beef, or tilapia. #saladeveryday #eathealthytobecomehealthy #avofuckingcado #fiberabundance #healthy #actuallycravesaladnow

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Stop expecting what isn't going to happen.

Accept everything as it is.

It's not going to change the way you want it to.

But, that hard truth hurts the most.

Love relentlessly without expecting reciprocation.

Life's unfair, and there's nothing we can do about it...

But change the negativity to positivity.

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Legit.

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That quarter's trying to hide.. 2 hours at the gym: chest, legs, abs. #laziness #whyamisolazy #youwontunderstand (at Crunch Fitness - Daly City)

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Keep your relationship private without keeping your partner a secret. There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.

(via wank-tank)

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Oh, I LOVE leg day♥♥♥ Started off with the leg press while I waited for the squat rack to be vacated /: (at Crunch)

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I'm not as strong as you think.

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Running out of workouts? Need help losing, gaining, or maintaining weight? Or just new at the gym? Meet my boyfriend, the personal trainer(: Find him at Crunch Fitness at Serramonte!!♥

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My last two cups of art. It's been fun, but it's time to move on...to another store. Until we meet again. Stay classy, stay weird, stay awesome and keep the fun times rollin'♥ Find me at West Portal from here on out! #starbucks #lastday #transferring #howardandbeale

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January 30, 2014: Lego-inspired reusable cup for him. Finale pt. 2. #starbucks #drawing #cupart #lego #hulk #ironman #yoda #r2d2 #poker