irlangelsdiary

[irlangelsdiary]

If you could, would you want your sister to experience what you did now? So she could understand where you’re coming from?

what do you mean what I did now ? sorry if you mean what I do now as In body focused repetitve behaviors / my cptsd, yeah maybe.

[irlangelsdiary]

body focused repetitive behaviors + other things I struggle with as someone with cptsd

-uncontrollable bruxism (teeth grinding)

-chronic cuticle biting and picking

- nail biting

-skin/scab picking

-heightened paranoia and startle response

-insomnia

-recurring dreams

-memory gaps

-extreme clingyness to my partner

-constany anxiety

-sneaking around in my home to avoid my ab*ser

-restless leg syndrome

-unable to regulate emotions and hyper sensitvity

-alice in wonderland syndrome

-agoraphobia

-fawning and masking

-emotional flashbacks

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

"you were the one who wanted to win but I just wanted a sister"

[irlangelsdiary]

It is not your responsibility to protect your abuser’s reputation.

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

I want to fight my sister. tw cocsa.

im 21 f, + weed user my sister is 23, we live together at our parents house. (let me mention ik one of us has to leave. i wish i could. living in this economy sucks)

my sister sexually assaulted me as a child and i keep having dreams about exposing her, describing in detail what she did to me to her boyfriend. yesterday we had a huge fight over something miniscule and then i had a dream i described everything she did to me in detail, ive had dreams were i throw knifes at her face, water, etc.

Yesterday, i went downstairs to get myself a cup of water, she was there. i am always uncomfortable with her because the only thing she does is belittle me and try to pick a fight. and all i do when i look at her is remember what she did to me.

she started with oh my god are you smoking right now!? i responded with no. she then asked if i brought something down with me. i responded with no. then i opened the fridge and sat down HER almond juice (she labels all her things in the fridge with an A) on piece of parchement paper that was on the stove. our kitchen is semi cluttered so we had minimal counterspace, me setting HER almond milk on the paper made her snap. its not like any of our family even touched it only her but she comes up to me in my face and says "dont you know how to use your brain? CLEARLY im cooking something why would you set that on my parchment paper now my parchment paper is containmented" and i said" i actually think you need anger management classes or meds, its insane how mad you get over a simple mistake" and then that makes her even more mad and she starts to clap her hands and she goes i think you belong in an asylum, i responded with girl i think your the one who belongs in an asylum, get a new piece of parchment paper if its containmeted or flip it over ?? then she responds with arent you moving out, etc didnt mom pay for all your college??? i only responded with no.

after this heated arguement i was so mad i started to cry, not because i was upset, i felt rage. i wanted to physcially hit her, fight her, beat her to the brink of passing out, she is much bigger than me weight wise but i dont care. i am so close to snapping and all i want to do is beat the shit out of her.

[irlangelsdiary]

the rage is immense

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

goodnight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

need

[irlangelsdiary]

[irlangelsdiary]

its aria montgomery season

[irlangelsdiary]

facts about csa.

• In about 30% of cases, the abuser is a family member, and in 60% of cases, the abuser is someone the family trusts.

• About 35% of victims are 11 years old or younger, and nearly 40% are abused by older or larger children.

• Many cases of CSA are never reported because it is a secretive crime.

• Prevention: 95% of CA is preventable through education. a

• Emotional damage: Children who are sexually abused before the age of six and for several years experience worse lasting emotional damage.

• Suicidal thoughts: Child and teen victims of CSA are 42% more likely to have suicidal thoughts during adolescence.

[irlangelsdiary]