irlmammon-again - Tumblr blog

[irlmammon-again]

<3

It’s me. I want the luciussy

My darling dearest I love you but I want to smack you upside the head <3

[irlmammon-again]

I told you guys I would writing this so here it is. And I know what you guys are saying, "Jordan, as a self proclaimed Mammon kinnie, why are you doing this to both us and yourself?"

the simple answer is that I'm a sadist and a masochist.

I also like being considered a hazard when it comes to writing because when I write angst I usually am a danger to myself and others in terms of crying.

With out further ado, the angst:

Fantasy is often better than reality. Mammon knew that just as well as anyone else. He wasn’t so much unintelligent as he was unhinged. Losing you was the worst thing he had ever faced. He never fully forgave Belphegor, even after countless apologies or after he was given a century's worth of grimm. Losing you broke him, so much that to cope his brain created a form of psychosis that kept your memory alive within him. Part of him knew it wasn’t real, but he hoped to hell that he never woke up to the reality of you leaving him that way. 

This is how he preferred to remember you. This is how he preferred to live. He preferred that he had protected you from his younger brother, that you were still alive. He preferred that you all went on bizarre adventures. He preferred that Luke turned them into half animal hybrids over Luke hating them for killing an innocent human. 

To make matters worse, his brothers had to play along. To pretend that you were right there with them even though you were long gone. Lucifer was particularly torn up. He no longer wanted to punish his brother, but he had to keep it up to keep him happy. He felt defeated. If he couldn’t help Lilith or you, he would help Mammon. He refused to lose him, even if it meant playing into this fantasy and holding Mammon back from killing Belphegor every time he was forced to enter reality. 

It was fair to say everyone was mourning two losses when you died. 

[irlmammon-again]

What if the entire game after lessons 16-18 is just mammon’s self made psychosis because he refuses to believe MC is dead and that’s why all these fantastical events we have keep happening. Like we’re just seeing his fantasy land that his brain made to cope.

[irlmammon-again]

it has occurred to me that drinking iced coffee and blasting Obey Me character songs at almost 1 am might not have been my most well thought out idea

[irlmammon-again]

do I make this hasbeen ass blog active again?

[irlmammon-again]

I am offended that this is true

All fun in games until he says something thats true.

[irlmammon-again]

Okay okay seriousness from earlier aside, I am so so thankful to have all of you guys in my life. Thank you all so much for being here and please enjoy the rest of your thanksgiving, or if you don’t celebrate that, enjoy your Thursday night, and remember that I do love you all!

[irlmammon-again]

What are ur fav screenshots of mammon?

mammon is the funniest brother change my mind

[irlmammon-again]

😩

On the first day of diavolos birthday, Solmare gave to me, yet another Lucifer sr card that I don’t need but still love dearly.

[irlmammon-again]

I have a type

Clearly

[irlmammon-again]

oh how I wish that I was fluent enough in french to sing to my love.

maybe I’ll take up French again just for that

[irlmammon-again]

i kind of want to use this blog again but I don’t know what for. Probably something Obey Me related but I’m not sure. Let me know if there’s anything specific you want to see from me??

[irlmammon-again]

irlmammon

- why did I leave? where have I been?

Hello Folks! Jordan here!

Some of you know me better as @irlmammon.

I wanted to address some things including what led up to me deleting my blog and what I’ve been doing since.

For some of you, that's a blog you haven’t heard about or from since December of last year (2020) or January (2021).

I have been back on tumblr for some time to be completely honest. My new blog is @algaedo and I have a bunch of wonderful followers and friends over there. I haven't been writing like I used to because I don’t have the motivation to, and that's okay. Eventually I’ll get back into the swing of it. For now I’m just trying to get more active again.

What led me to deleting my blog originally was completely my fault. I had decided to take a popular blog on and I was not prepared for the backlash. I thought I was but it proved to be too much for me. I was getting hounded to apologize to a creator, who since has been called out for other actions unrelated to the reason why I was calling her out, by her fans. Again, this is completely my fault. I was calling out Chey for small things that were insignificant and reflecting on it now, not worth losing my community over. I have since privately apologized to her for how I treated her and we have gone our separate ways. I chose not to make a public statement about the apology because I did not think clearing my name was a good idea, as such would look like I was only doing it to get people off of my back. I wanted the apology to be sincere, not about getting my followers back.

I set myself up for failure posting what I did about her and I couldn’t handle it so I left. I deleted my blog. It didn’t stop the backlash or the hate that I received. But it gave me time to figure out where I needed to place my priorities and its not picking a fight with someone and their thousands of followers. Nor is it stressing over follower count and worrying about engagement or post interactions.

I reuploaded my content to my other blog, and I’ve been happy there since.

I lost a lot of friends, but those that have stayed have been the best that I can ask for. Especially Bey.

I’ve also started playing alot more games like Genshin Impact and Tears of Themis. I hope I can make good content for them in the future and meet people that enjoy them as much as I do.

I also hope that you are doing well, whether or not you know what I’m talking about. Thank you if you’ve read this far. It means alot to me that you guys know I’m still here and that I do miss you. I’m also sorry to anyone who I had disappointed when I tried to call out Diavolosthot. I never wanted it to end the way it did. I promise will continue to try to do better and to learn from my mistakes. I will not promise that I will stop making mistakes.

If you have any questions or just want to talk about anything, my asks are always open, feel free to use those.

Thank you again,

irlmammon.

[irlmammon-again]

You thought Endgame had the most ambitious cross over, but you were wrong.

Warning: Absolute shit-post. Definitely not your typical crack shit. This is what we like to call a meth fic Also VERY NSFW. Asmo would be very impressed. Female-presenting MC. Death. That’s the least of the issues. You really won’t be that concerned about the death after you read this.

Summary: Imagine MC dies at some point and ends up in heaven. What’s about to happen next will surely be the most interesting story in all the three realms for the rest of history.

It happened like anyone would imagine it would when one dies. MC’s eyes closed as she was met with a warm, blinding, light. She followed the light into a white and cloudy plain, met by a golden gate and a familiar face. It was Simeon. He had been expecting her. After her stay in Devildom, MC had proven to be a very kind, and eccentric being. The angel was more than happy to welcome her to his home realm. Soon he would start to question his warm welcoming.

Simeon toured MC around the Celestial Realm until her presence was called upon by God himself. Luke, one of her former fellow exchange students sighed, upset that their reunion was being cut short, but who could deny the big man? So he decided to tag along on MC and Simeon’s adventure to God’s “office”.

God, sitting in his throne of glory: Ah, MC, I hope you’re settling in well here, I couldn’t deny anyone who Simeon and Luke both spoke so highly about.

MC: Yes sir, they are certainly making me feel very welcome here in the Celestial Realm.

God: So before you continue your time here, there are just a few formalities we need to go over, if that's ok?

MC: Yeah, no that’s totally fine, what do you need to know?

God: Well for one, your cause of death isn’t listed in your file, if you remember anything, that would help us out greatly.

A wave of nerves washed over MC as she gulped. She had remembered exactly how she died. Who could forget something like that. She blushed thinking about the final night she had spent in Devildom with Lucifer.

MC: Well uh, you see, your son that you threw out of here, uh, he might have accidentally killed me.

Simeon, visibly shocked and concerned: Wait who killed you, MC? Was it Belphegor again?

God: AGAIN?

MC: Actually, it was Lucifer this time, Simeon. You know how he gets when you hurt his pride during sex.

Simeon, blushing and covering Luke’s ears: Me?! I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!

God: Wait a fucking minute. You did what with WHO?

The poor man sat in his throne with his head in his hands, trying to process what just happened. This innocent looking girl in front of him just admitted to being killed while being fucking railed by his outcasted son. Why, this was way more than he thought he could bear. Thank his lucky stars that his prized son, Jesus came strolling in to meet their new guest. Perhaps Jesus would turn the tide on this conversation.

God, already exacerbated: Oh thank Me you’re here.

Jesus: Sup dad, hey MC I heard you were coming and I wanted to meet you myself. Welcome to the Celestial Realm.

MC: Why thank you Jesus, it’s nice to meet another one of God’s beautiful sons.

Jesus: Ah Lucifer is beautiful isn’t he. It’s no wonder why they called him Morning Star. Dude was sexy as fuck.

MC, winking at Jesus knowingly: You got that right.

God, coughing to try to steer the conversation back: That’s enough of that.

Jesus: Ohhhhh so you know-know. I see you.

MC: Very kinky, a real hot piece of ass. We were just discussing how I died while getting railed by him.

Luke, watching Simeon laugh his ass off but not able to hear a thing: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? ARE YOU GUYS MAKING FUN OF ME AGAIN?

Jesus, trying to be flirty: Oh shit, so you wanna make that 2 realms where you’ve fucked God’s sons then? I might not rail you like Lucifer but I’ll nail you better than my dad nailed me to that cross.

God, absolutely appalled: I’M STILL SITTING RIGHT HERE???

Jesus: Simeon you’ve been talking about making peace between the 3 realms, right? You wanna know the real secret to that? A big, juicy fat ass. (note: Jesus is an ass man.)

Michael flying in with some papers: My Father, your papers are- Oh hey MC! Hey Jesus! Did I miss anything? Is Simeon okay over there?

Luke, screaming because he isn’t aware of how loud he is: HI MICHAEL! SIMEON LET ME HEAR WHAT’S GOING ON!

Jesus, still flirting: After we’re done I’ll give you a new meaning to the phrase, “I need Jesus.”

Michael, confused but smirking: Did I interrupt something?

God, actually about to pop a vein: NO they were just LEAVING.

MC, wrapping an arm around Jesus: We weren’t leaving, you’re the one that wanted us here.

Jesus: My dead body won’t be the only thing rising in the tomb tonight.

God: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

Jesus, looking his father dead in the eyes: Not yet daddy.

Michael, trying to keep a straight face: You do know getting nailed by Jesus isn’t the same as when he was getting nailed to the cross. It’s much more rough.

MC: Oh the cross or Jesus?

Michael, winking: If you have to ask, I think you already know the answer.

MC: Ooo Michael you’re such a tease.~

Michael: If you want you can get on your knees for me too, but you most definitely won’t be praying.

MC, with a delighted grin: I took on 7 demons and the Prince of Hell, I think I can handle a few angels.

God: THE PRINCE OF HELL TOO? SERIOUSLY?

Simeon, wheezing: I think you mean 8 demons and the Prince of Hell, my little lamb.

MC: Ah yes, but don’t forget that other human, what was his name? Oh, Solomon! And I couldn’t possibly leave out-

Simeon, laughing nervously: I think we, uh, get the point.

Jesus: You really need to release those sins huh?

MC: I suppose I do, only if there were some angels around to help lead me back on the right track.

Luke, still screaming: WHY IS JESUS AND MICHAEL GETTING SO CLOSE TO MC?

God: WHY THE FUCK IS THE CHILD STILL HERE? SIMEON TAKE HIM HOME.

Simeon, still laughing so hard it hurts: But God! I am supposed to be taking care of MC! I should be with her at all times.

God, sighing, visibly annoyed, confused, and seconds away from losing it: GABRIEL PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF THE CELESTIAL REALM GET IN HERE.

MC: Ooooo another angel to add to the fun!~

Gabriel, rushing in and noticing a very pissed off God: May I be of assistance?

God: PLEASE take the child away.

Gabriel: Yes sir, but may I ask what he did to deserve such a punishment?

God, mumbling to himself: I want to know what I did to deserve such a punishment.

Jesus, speaking with all the sass: You literally had me nailed to a fucking cross. You weren’t there my whole life growing up, and threw my lover out of heaven because you were afraid of me falling for him since you made him too hot.

Simeon, whispering to Gabriel before handing Luke over: You might want to come back later, there might be quite a show. I believe you might be interested.

Gabriel, nodding and taking Luke’s hand, literally dragging him out: Let’s go bake some special cookies for MC’s stay!

God: MC you are lucky that as a rule of Heaven you’re granted one night of immunity. Otherwise I’d have kicked you down to Hell by now. I might just send my sons with you.

MC: Wouldn’t that just be giving me what I want? You do know, and I quote your words, “Life will find a way. Life always finds a way.”

Michael, starting to crack up laughing: You did say that sir, didn’t you?

Jesus: Threatening MC isn’t very Christlike, father. Eat Pray Love shit. That’s what you told me to spread.

Simeon, still laughing from the corner: I mean he isn’t wro-

God: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ALL ON?

—————

A/N: I wrote this with a dear friend of mine, @obeymebabes 

If you guys really like it we’ll do a part 2.

Buy me a coffee?

[irlmammon-again]

this may have been done but

Diavolo and Lucifer: Jinx you owe me

Lucifer: a soda

Diavolo, at the same time as Lucifer: a kiss on the lips

Divaolo: YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE LUCIFER

Lucifer: *screaming*