iwriteandilikeyellow - Tumblr blog

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

nonsense outros (part two)

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

SABRINA CARPENTER | vanity fair she's just like me fr

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

SABRINA CARPENTER for Skims (2024)

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

SABRINA CARPENTER for SKIMS (April, 2024)

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

the CRIMSON GHOST (1947)

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

I stand here

I stand here, before you, as someone who wishes to see the world with you. 

We were never really friends, but we were. We talked, but not in the way friends do. We didn’t talk. We talk, but we don’t. It’s very confusing, like what I feel about you. 

“Do you trust me?” I ask you.

“Do I trust you?“ I add.

Someone tells you something really cliche and at the same time, something really real. You don’t know what to feel so you break down.

Then, you knew what to feel. Sadness comes off in waves as tears form in your eyes. This was the first time I ever saw you cry.

I could only do so much but stare. 

I want to blame you. It’s your fault. We tried, you let go. I tried to hold on to you. 

But we acted like it wasn’t. We acted like it wasn’t all your fault because it never is. It’s never just your fault, but to a lot of us, it felt that way.

I stand here, before you, as someone who wished to see the world with you.

As you tremble, they come to comfort you, but I don’t. Of all people, it was me who wasn’t the one to hold you when given the ultimate opportunity. I would have, if I still felt the same. But nothing’s ever the same for you, is it?

I showed you that even the most sinful creature on the face of this earth can be loved. Even if they don’t give that same love back.

I defend your name to those who don’t understand. I want them to understand. They’ll never understand. Because who would? Not even I.

I don’t understand. And maybe that’s okay. 

I held your hand and squeezed it. You hugged me. That was the first time you initiated the hug. I wanted to throw you off and walk away.

I loved you so much, I hated it. I put both of my arms around you and hugged you the tightest. It felt like the last. It probably was going to be the last.

Everyone left, including you. I stayed, waiting for you to comeback. You didn’t. Well, physically, you did. But you weren’t there. You were never.

So here I am, standing, your back facing me, as someone who wishes that you’ll never get lost in the world you sought together.

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

I cannot emphasize how true this is for myself and for many other people I know too well

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

A snippet - #1

Elliot hopes she could call Janis her friend.

So, she decides to ask her now.

They were situated at a dining room. It was quite big and it probably would be filled with more people during mealtimes as the days pass by, nearing the start of classes.

Elliot and Janis were at a table for two.

Elliot was picking at her medium rare steak when she finally decided to speak up.

"Uh, hey, Janis?"

Janis raised a brow, "Yeah?"

"I was wondering," Elliot's thoughts were now starting to trail off, thinking of circumstances that could end up being the actual future. She wasn't quite ready for this, but it's not like any time else would be better, now, would it? Elliot took everything in her will to calm herself down and continue speaking, "if you'd like to be my friend?"

She felt Janis stop whatever she was doing and focus mainly on her. Here it comes.

"I mean, that is, if it is okay with you? I know that you're my roomie but I don't really wanna sound like I just assume we're friends when I talk about or to you. Gosh, I'm really sorry if this offends you, gaaaaaah."

Elliot felt warm all over her face and body. This was probably going to be her last decent conversation with her roommate who'd end up hating her for the rest of the year and beyond that.

"Elliot," Janis said, leaning towards the girl opposite her, "if I wasn't already your friend, I wouldn't have taken the time to willingly tour you around the campus. Or help you unpack your things or help you set up your toiletries when you asked me to."

Elliot could feel her heart racing.

Elliot could feel her grin widening.

Janis grinned back before rolling her eyes, "Calm down, sunshine, you might burst and obliterate the planet."

Elliot couldn't hold it in, so she just laughed and felt the least empty she had felt in a long time.

-A snippet from one of the stories I’ve been writing over the summer-

[iwriteandilikeyellow]

Uniform - a narrative

Alice never expected much of her uniform. It was quite interesting to finally see it on herself after only seeing it through pictures. She never met someone who wore this attire in person. She did have an uncle who studied in the same school she was about to go to, but she never encountered him wearing the uniform. Plus, the experience would be very different.

The boys’ uniform was just a simple white polo. It was a generic choice for schools – a white button up polo with a chest pocket. Then, a patch would be sown on the chest pocket. For the bottom, boys would wear pants and for the feet, black school shoes that would fit for formal occasions. The girls’ uniform blouse was a pale shade between yellow, beige, peach, and skin tone. It was a button-up blouse that was slightly see-through. Alice’s was like that, but she was sure there were going to be some of her female classmates whose blouses would be a little more see-through than hers. She was glad that hers wasn’t like that. Similar to the boys’ polo top, it had a chest pocket and on that pocket a patch would be sown on as well. The skirt she had paired with it was quite long; it reached just below her knees. It was slightly under-saturated yellow-orange-ish with a plaid pattern. It was kind of like a table cloth, Alice thought when she first saw it. She would’ve said that out loud if she didn’t think it was offensive to say it in front of the seamstress. She had to wear long white socks with it. It was required since the place the new school building was situated in was near a wooded area. Better safe than sorry. Alice does admit she’d rather sweat like a sinner than die of a dozen insect bites. But Alice didn’t need to worry much about sweating, it was almost the start of the ‘-Ber’ months and their classes start the first of August.

Only two weeks left.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She didn’t really know if it look good on her or not. She liked how swishy the skirt was and how it didn’t reveal much skin, although naturally, halfway through her forearm and down was exposed. The cut of the cloth only reached slightly below her collarbones. It was quite comfortable to wear. She tied her hair in a ponytail. She removed it. She put it up into a simple bun. She took her hair out of it. She placed her hair in an intricate twist down the side. She left it that way.

She put on her pair of Doc Martens’ and glanced at herself in the mirror.

She liked her uniform. It was nice. It was mellow to the eyes. It was comfy.

She was going to spend time in it, wear it to meet new people, learn new things. She was going to grow in it. There’d probably be time that she’d rip a hole or two by accident. She might even get paint on her skirt if she isn’t careful. She would maybe fall asleep in it by accident because of how exhausted she’d be from all the schoolwork and forget to change.

She’d have to grow out of it sometime. She was thirteen and she was still growing. She surpassed her older sister’s height already. Who knows how tall she’d be by the time she finishes high school?

Alice looked at herself in the mirror one last time before she was to change out of her uniform. She liked it. She liked her uniform. She liked how it was not too revealing. She liked how her blouse was a bit thin and how it felt breezy and cool wearing it. She liked it.

She loved her uniform. She smiled at the mirror and took it off.

- Hiiii, I’m Rie and this is my first time posting! I write as a hobby to keep my mind off things and as a way to vent out. I really wanted to write something as my first post so here it is. It is pretty crappy though. These are just things I try out. -