jackalopc

[jackalopc]

drink some water you dehydrated slut

[jackalopc]

What do you do when the proverbial prince of gotham throws a couple grand worth of fine liquor on one of the most powerful crime bosses in the city and leaves the party? You follow him out and introduce yourself, of course.

inspired by this post by @bruciemilf including their fancast for harvey because um obviously it's perfect (and also a fair bit of influence from the a wild battinson series by @emo-batboy because i'm obsessed with it and it's canon in my heart).

UPDATE: NOW POSTED ON AO3 TOO, you can find it here!

It's early autumn; which means it's the start of the rainy season in Gotham (or rather more rain) and of Harvey's latest semester at Gotham University (GothU, affectionately). Harvey isn't entirely sure how he ended up at this shindig, if he's being honest, and the person who even invited him as his plus one has vanished. He's in law school but he's still only in pre-law, he hasn't even made a name for himself yet as some sort of future threat.

(It's still early enough that about 50% of students he's going through with are still starry eyed and haven't entirely given up on the idea of making Gotham a better place.)

The weird intersection of various gangs, businessmen, politicians (corrupt or otherwise), and local celebs is there on full display; and Harvey just wants to get the fuck out of there, but he has no idea where his ride is and frankly he's a broke law student he does not have the money for a cab all the way back into central Gotham from where they are.

But then, something catches his eye-- or rather, someone:

Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne had recently crossed the threshold into being the richest man in the world (just surpassing the much older Lex Luthor), with the biggest company in the world (again surpassing Luthor's own corporation), and the closest thing Gotham has to true and actual royalty.

The same Bruce Wayne that was also in two of Harvey's classes this semester at GothU for reasons he did not understand.

Harvey is admittedly, briefly entranced. Sure they share classes and like him, Bruce attends every single one, but Harvey is pretty sure he's never been this close to the man still (or maybe it just feels closer compared to the large university lecture halls). Heads turn whenever and wherever Bruce goes; and it wasn't just because he was so unfathomably rich or because nearly all of Gotham was protective of the young man. From adorable child, to cute (if sullen) pre-teen, and now into an attractive (if sullen) young man-- Bruce was hot. Sure, in a kinda funky have we confirmed he's not a Victorian vampire way but honestly maybe it was just the classical Gotham influence that made him read that way.

Harvey, even in his trance, can tell that Bruce Wayne looks uncomfortable. He can't tell if it's the social interaction or the people he's surrounded by, but either way Bruce didn't look happy to be there really. Harvey can't help but find himself compelled to watch the billionaire, because he knew the public reputation of Bruce Wayne (generous to a fault, prince of gotham but king of social anxiety and awkwardness, person you could trust to leave your small children around); but what was he like at these weird little parties where it was almost all folks who were deeply corrupt and entrenched? Was it all just a persona? Would he start doing that weird haughty laugh a lot of these other rich fucks seemed to do?

Harvey was still one of those starry-eyed pre-law students, he wanted to make a real and lasting change in this godforsaken city. Bruce Wayne held the most power and influence here. Would he be an potential ally, or Harvey's biggest obstacle?

A figure was suavely bee-lining towards Bruce, the crowd parting way for him. Harvey didn't see who the person was until they stopped before the prince, and Harvey nearly dropped the expensive, crystal glass in his hand. Carmine Falcone. Not one of his lieutenants, not some people just associated with the crime boss, no. Falcone himself. Christ, what did I get dragged into? I'll pay another semester worth of tuition if it gets me outta here--

"Bruce, my dear boy! I'm soo glad you decided to join us," Falcone practically croons, and approaches with two glasses in hand. Harvey thinks he see's a slight twitch to Bruce's eye, but the man's expression doesn't change really even with the man's arrival. Falcone pushes the fresh glass of alcohol into Bruce's hand, then swiftly and smoothly wraps a long arm around Bruce's shoulders.

Harvey watches as Bruce looks from the glass, as if trying to determine it's contents then up to Falcone, eyebrow slowly arching. Harvey can't hear everything, the crowd just barely too loud. But Falcone starts steering Bruce further into the party. Right, I need to stop gawking and find my ride--

Harvey gulps down the last of his drink, though the taste makes him want to gag. Maybe he's just not sophisticated yet enough to appreciate the morbidly expensive alcohol. He hastily sets the glass down on the nearest passing waiter's tray, and starts to look for his ride.

The search brings him closer to Falcone, which isn't thrilling, but necessary in order to sweep the room. Harvey mentally swears because the place is huge and he's probably going to have to go room by room and--

"-- my boy, just think of the potential!" Falcone's voice floats so easily over the crowd, and the guy makes Harvey's skin crawl but even he has to admit the man has his own weird ass charisma. Harvey's attention is drawn back, involuntarily, to the crime boss and Bruce Wayne. The younger man hasn't touched his drink, if Harvey had to guess; and Falcone is staying practically plastered to his side. The younger man looks so so uncomfortable and frustrated? Annoyed? Mad? It's hard for Harvey to place, because somehow Bruce Wayne also continues to look sullen and exhausted.

The crowd around Falcone is a delicate balance of men and women clearly are comfortable around him; and people who were trying to find a way to get near while not incur the wrath of his many bodyguards. Then there was Harvey, who wants nothing to do with anyone here thankyouverymuch. Harvey scans the area one last time, not finding his so-called friend; his eyes land briefly at Bruce again before he starts to turn.

"-- I mean... you're father--" Falcone can't finish his sentence and Harvey turns back just in time to see Bruce Wayne splash the insanely expensive alcohol directly into Falcone's face.

Besides a few gasps, it goes quiet in the immediate area and quickly radiates out. Everyone is shocked, including Harvey, but he also is amazed byt he sight of Bruce. He looks as unimpressed by Falcone as he is angered. Bruce says nothing, and Harvey watches as he turns on his heel and starts calmly leaving; politely placing his glass on a waitresses tray on his way out.

Harvey has no idea what compels him to do so, but he follows the billionaire out.

"Wayne! Mr. Wayne!" Harvey calls as he jogs to catch up; the man has a surprisingly fast pace and while a crowd will part for the prince, it's not about to make way for some punk pre-law student they don't even know the name of.

Bruce Wayne stops, steps away from the gleaming black car that's running. His famous butler by his side, umbrella open above their heads.

Both men look to Harvey, curious and expecting, as he skids to a stop. Harvey realizes he didn't think far enough ahead, and swallows thickly. Thankfully though, Bruce speaks first.

"Harvey, Right? Harvey Dent?" Bruce says and Harvey blinks.

"You- wait, you know who I am?"

"Sure," Bruce says easily, like his name is worth remembering to a man like him. The rain is still falling, steadily and soaking Harvey. "You're the only one saying stuff worth listening to in those classes," he adds.

Harvey blinks, and he's glad the light is shit in the overcast weather, because his face warms at the acknowledgement. "Oh..."

"I didn't expect you at a place like this," Bruce says, voice curious as he watches Harvey closely in a way that makes him want to squirm a little under the scrutiny. It's not malicious feeling, though--- Harvey thinks it seems more curious, than anything.

"My friend dragged me here, didn't tell me what was going on..." Harvey admits.

Alfred leans in and whispers something to Bruce. Bruce nods, not taking his eyes off Harvey. "Would you like a ride home, Mr. Dent?" Alfred asks.

They don't go directly to Harvey's place, and Alfred doesn't even drop Bruce off first. Instead--

"Bat Burger?" Bruce asks, as he settles fully into the seat next to Harvey. "I'm starving."

"Oh! Uh, sure?" Harvey blinks, and then looks down as Bruce pulls out a towel of all things, from-- somewhere? and offers it to him. Harvey takes it, starting to dry off how best he can.

"Alfred?"

"Of course, sir," Alfred says easily from the driver seat ahead. "So, what glorious exit did you make this time, Master Bruce?"

Bruce makes a strangled noise, scoffing. "Who says I did anything?" He replies, and Harvey stifles a laugh-- not because of the denial so much as the billionaire sounds like a kid trying to hide the mess he just made.

Harvey can see in the rear view mirror Alfred raise an eyebrow.

"He threw his very expensive drink in Falcone's face," he provides and Bruce sends him a scowl but it has no bite and he's even smiling a little.

"Oh, Bruce, really?" Alfred chides like an exhausted parent.

"Don't worry, it was expensive, not good," Bruce says in his defense; and Harvey laughs.

to be continued? maybe? IDEK.

[jackalopc]

I’m convinced if ppl on this site knew how crappy gifs look before you color them properly, they would appreciate editors more

[jackalopc]

One of the most common ways that I see characters who are supposed to be extremely competent not work is by not actually showing them being competent.

This is a common trope with films with the Most Competent Woman who has to train the For Some Reason More Important Man and then swiftly gets outpaced by him despite having years or decades of experience, but I also see it a fair amount in books.

Namely, it shows up when a character is supposed to be the best fighter / assassin / thief / negotiator, but to have them actually succeed at their task would make the plot of the book fall apart, so they end up being written as kind of incompetent.

There are a few ways to avoid this problem:

Don't have the story tell us that they are the best. It's more believable that they're not immediately succeeding when they're good but not amazing than when they're supposed to be the most successful ever

Have them be stopped by reasonable forces. It can be a trap or an ambush, or it can be something else that they had no way to predict or plan for, or it can be such overwhelming force that it doesn't matter how good they are. Maybe a natural disaster strikes!

Actually show their competence. Don't just tell the reader that the character is the best but actually show them doing it in the action, reliably, consistently. Show their knowledge, their experience, their skills

[jackalopc]

i don't think we appreciate enough that, at least in the AOS timeline, bones is the only real romantic of the main trio (and also has the most long-term relationship experience in general and most serious long-term relationship experience) and it would show immediately in like every scenario

[jackalopc]

nice pair of characters who trust each other more than anyone else in the whole entire world it would sure be a shame if one of them betrayed that trust for the sake of trying to keep the other alive. it would sure be a shame to love someone so much you destroy them

[jackalopc]

[jackalopc]

I love when you’re reading multiple fics by the same author and you start to spot all the phrases and adjectives they like to use

[jackalopc]

I can’t stop thinking about Harry Wilson’s loser ex-wife. I can’t imagine being like “So what my husband is allowing a benzene oil spill to wreak havoc on the environment? So what if the benzene is killing children??? He’s a good husband and he pays attention to me. He’s just trying to be a good provider for our family!” Like, bitch, millions of people find a way to make a living without actively destroying the environment and murdering children.

THEN her dumb ass stays with him because he listens to her and cuddles her at night or whatever the fuck he does with his nasty stringy hair. ONLY to find out that not only is he actively allowing his oil rig to leak oil, he also blew up the oil rig, killing 5 people and causing what I can only imagine to be a MASSIVE ecological disaster. AND NOT ONLY THAT but he’s also a TERRORIST who shut down the power grid in order to be able to sell the ability to cripple US infrastructure to other terrorists!

Now her dumb ass is probably on the news and people are talking shit about how she stayed with him after the oil leak whistleblower incident. Now she got, no money (probably), her daughter doesn’t respect her and wants to live with Harry, and she gotta go to the grocery store while people point at her and go “that’s a terrorist’s wife!” I hope those extra cuddles and attentive listening were worth it, you pathetic loser!

Nate’s ex-wife Maggie would never! She’s certified cool! Grace wishes she was Maggie!

[jackalopc]

moon knight being moon shaped

in moon knight (2021) and moon knight: fist of khonshu (2024)

bonus: moon knight being blob-shaped in moon knight (2014)

[jackalopc]

So I remade it since I've found some more connections

[jackalopc]

i don't have much to contribute today for burn notice week, but since one of the prompts for today is snow globe i thought i'd offer a cute headcanon:

post-burn notice, when they're in their new place. it's largely pre-furnished, perhaps the last owner's or just came that way. it's nice, cozy... but it lacks the small personal details that make it home as opposed to just a house.

fiona especially has nothing of her years of life lived prior, nothing she brought over to the states from her childhood, nothing she gained while in miami. she already lost her precious snow globe collection a while prior.

so needless to say, while the house is nice and comfortable, it doesn't quite feel like home yet-- save for the people in it.

michael is out at the market one day with charlie, picking up the groceries fiona asked for. when charlie, holding michael's hand, tugs them to a stop and michael looks back to whatever has caught his nephews attention: a storefront window that has a small, but nice assortment of snow and glitter globes. most are for the town directly, with the name either in the globe itself or on it's base.

michael takes them inside to the proper display, and with charlie on his hip, they look through every single one. they end up walking out with two: one is a traditional snow globe while the other is full of glitter that sparkles in ways that just positively enchants charlie.

michael finds one of the bare shelves in the living room and sets them delicately on the shelf, while fiona puts away groceries. michael lets charlie show her what else they got while out.

[jackalopc]

by @jackalopc​

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: The Batman (Movie 2022)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Harvey Dent & Bruce Wayne, Harvey Dent/Bruce Wayne

Characters: Harvey Dent, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Carmine Falcone

Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, POV Harvey Dent, Harvey Dent & Bruce Wayne Friendship, First Meetings, College, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Not Beta Read

It's early autumn; which means it's the start of the rainy season in Gotham (or rather more rain) and of Harvey's latest semester at Gotham University. Harvey isn't entirely sure how he ended up at this shindig, if he's being honest, and the person who even invited him as his plus one has vanished. But then, something catches his eye– or rather, someone: Bruce Wayne. The same Bruce Wayne that was also in two of Harvey's classes this semester at GothU for reasons he did not understand.

[jackalopc]

So like, it's obvious to me reading the comments on my post that anti-porn people are largely like, afraid of porn. Like the concept of a sex video is really spooky to them. They're not making thoughtful critiques of the porn industry, which is genuinely a really fucked up industry, they're mostly just spooked by the concept of a sex video and what it could Do To You If You See It.

I said this in another post, but it's like, the difference between "a ton of coffee is produced using slave labor" (valid, important criticism of the coffee industry) and "coffee turns people into raving coffee addicts who forget how to interact with anyone because they're so obsessed with their coffee" (objectively not true, insane viewpoint).

It's literally just sex videos. They really cannot hurt you.

[jackalopc]

Tumblr is good for creative types because the tag system lets you be truly deranged about how much you like it without feeling as Exposed as a Comment Section

[jackalopc]

Best things for a ship to have or be:

Horny

Insane

Religious/spiritual themes

Obsession

Age gap

Doomed

[jackalopc]

Bruce just wants smooches