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Essays: 9 Roads to a Calm Mind

In the busy rhythm of modern life, keeping a quiet, calm mind seems like a quest for rare treasure. Yet, my years of practicing living slowly have taught me that calmness is an attainable state nurtured through simple and intentional practices that root us in the present, bringing us a sense of peace and acceptance.

The garden is changing by the day. Warm spring days are well on their way with new blooms popping up everywhere. I know because I observe nature closely, using it as a guide. This is my first proven way to a balanced and calm mind.

#1. Living in tune with nature and adapting her pace.

Spending time outdoors, surrounded by nature quite literally alters our brain chemistry. It lowers our anxiety, stress levels, and risk of depression.

Personally, it also makes me realize that although I am a one of a kind individual, I am also part of a greater whole, and my worries are pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. So I might as well take things in stride.

Hello early spring sunshine!

I feel the same about gardening. It connects me to earth's natural rhythms. In fact, gardening teaches that life unfolds in seasons and cycles. It's much easier to accept and enjoy our season of life than to force ourselves to bloom when we are not ready, or even keep on blooming when it feels like winter in our hearts.

Not all seasons of life are as glamorous as summer, but they are necessary for our development and growth.

On a lovely sunny morning after a few months of searching, I found the perfect vintage writer's desk. I resolved to give it a second, rather cozy life.

This leads me to my second point to cultivating mental peace. That is...

#2. Not chasing short lived trends. This world is designed to make us want more. New 'trends' are artificially created to make us feel like we are missing out.

There is tranquility in choosing to shop local, shop small, shop handmade, or vintage whenever possible - like the second-hand furniture shop I found on the outskirts of town just over 20 years ago and have been frequenting ever since.

Moving on...

#3. My third way to keeping mental peace is to look at things through the prism of a child.

Children are incredibly rooted in the moment, being present, without worrying about abstract or future issues. Naturally, these skills are needed in our life, but sometimes dark thoughts can draw any light away from our world.

This is when we should take an example from our children and focus on the here and now.

#4. Practicing self-care that includes physical movement is my fourth way to keeping a calm mind.

Did you know that our body can store stress and worries?

It will show up as aches and pains, stiffness, and tension.

Something as simple as daily walks with my dog help me to release physical tension which in turn alleviates my mental stress.

I'm a passionate advocate for physical movement because it cultivates self awareness and encourages kindness toward ourselves.

#5. On that vein, I emphasize self-forgiveness and avoiding overthinking.

We all have been in a situation when we did or said something out of place... or at least we believe it so.

Nothing will clutter our mind and take away our mental peace like beating ourselves over and over about the past, or often, even a small thing.

Practicing self-forgiveness and silencing an overactive mind is the way to encourage a healthier internal dialogue where calmness can flourish.

I deeply believe that our homes influence our inner state.

It's never been about having a Pinterest worthy house, but making our homes a cozy, and safe environment, and that leads me to

#6. A peaceful, uncluttered house, a clean house, acts as a buffer against external chaos, becoming a retreat where we can recharge and reflect.

In addition to aesthetics, a peaceful home environment means prioritizing surrounding ourselves with people with whom we can be ourselves and are accepted for who we are, thus living in a welcoming, nurturing environment where we feel safe, heard, respected without our boundaries being crossed.

#7. Maintaining a small, supportive circle, surrounding ourselves with a close-knit community, be it family, friends, neighbors or even kind and caring co-workers, provides emotional security and a sense of belonging which are essential elements for mental peace.

In our modern world we are becoming more and more isolated, making it all the more important to maintain real-life contact, even if its the act of exchanging a simple "hello" with a neighbor or engaging in a small chat with one of the many people who provide a service to us on a daily basis.

#8. Planning Ahead. Having some sort of plan really helps maintain a peaceful and calm mind.

Understanding our finances, knowing exactly when our bills are due, and living within our means really goes a long way in helping to put our minds at rest. The same can be said for having a clear list of any appointments and to do's.

We sleep better knowing that important dates are all in our calendar, not having to rely on committing something to memory all the time which only creates stress and mental clutter.

#9. Finally, I'd say my ninth way to seeking calm is to stay selective and stay private, choosing to stay in my lane, and in my business.

Friend, I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't care who's mad, why they're mad, and who they're actively recruiting to be mad with them.

It's peaceful over here.

Remember, whatever we're not changing, we're choosing.

I wish us many blessings, and peace.

Essays - 9 Roads To a Calm Mind - Our Journey to Balance

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Vines grow on the walls of our old house. They all look like memories.

Poetic Musings - Our Journey to Balance

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Rainy days have a special way of making us feel cozy, calm, and peaceful.

On days when it rains, it's easy to find joy in simple things - baking, reading, enjoying a warm drink, or gentle movement.

It's a reminder that our good mood doesn't have to depend on the weather. Instead, happiness is something we choose for ourselves.

Rainy, misty days are one of my favorites. I often opt to draw open the curtains, prop open the windows in order to enjoy the moment. Listening to the softly falling rain can be therapeutic for me.

In fact, the American Heart Association did a study where it showed how listening to rain has a calming and soothing effect on our nervous system.

I recall one particularly gray, moody afternoon. My dog and I took to the nearby trails. Walking through the forest, listening to the gentle tapping of rain on decaying leaves, it was easy to imagine being a character in a gothic novel.

That's because when the rain pours down, it's akin to the world slowing down, inviting us to step back from the hustle and bustle.

Rainy days remind us that in a world that's always rushing, true wealth lies in a quiet and calm mind.

The first signs of spring are especially welcomed on a rainy day.

Imagine looking our your window to the snowdrops below, with a warm cup of coffee in your hand.

I don't live in a fairy-wood thatched cottage, but I appreciate my quiet neighborhood and enjoy the sound of raindrops gently pattering on the window.

Rainy days are good for the soul.

In acknowledging how rain nourishes the natural world, we recognize how we should spend time tending to ourselves.

I started reading Nature's Best Hope: A New Approach to Conservation That Starts in Your Yard, by Douglas W. Tallamy. The title already makes me love this book.

I haven't finished the book yet, so I'll wait to recommend it, but the principle that we should garden to save ecosystems right in our own backyard is something I deeply agree with and try to practice in my own life. In fact, I've done so for years.

This isn't a new concept, in fact, it's one of the oldest practices.

Anyway, I digress. I heard it said once that there is no bad weather, we are simply not dressed well enough. Perhaps, that's true.

Besides, would we truly appreciate sunny days without knowing gray skies?

It's the contrast between the calming energy of rain and the invigorating energy of the sun that makes us appreciate both.

Rainy Days - Essays - Our Journey to Balance

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When you accept that everyone is sovereign in their own life, you realize that they are responsible for what happens to them. Their experience is their path and their lessons.

No matter how much you want to help or change it, this is their chosen path.

The only thing you can do is let go, allow, love, accept and detach. Make that your mantra as we are tested on our willingness to honor others' life paths time and time again.

I wish you many blessings and peace.

Our Journey to Balance

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It is important to notice when people do not speak to you from their higher selves. Respond to them with compassion, as you would respond to a small child who did not know any better. People cannot hurt you; only you can choose to hurt yourself by your response to them. This gives you the ultimate power to control the world you experience. If you are able to choose your responses, you can choose to feel joy and peace, and thus change your world.

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You do not have to be your mother unless she is who you want to be, or even your mother’s mother. You may inherit their chins or their hips or their eyes, but you are not destined to become the women who came before you. So if you inherit something, inherit their strength. If you inherit something, inherit their resilience. Because the only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.

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7 Attributes of the Truly Confident Person...

Self confidence

A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves. True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has a few key attributes embedded in it, seven of them, in fact, which are the hallmarks of the truly confident person.

1. Self Love

This is the first crucial attribute. If you have no self-love, you have no confidence because this is at the heart of confidence: self-love and self-acceptance, which then decides our self-esteem. It is not possible to be happy and confident yet dislike our bodies or ourselves. Any lack of self-love is a prelude to misery and dissatisfaction with our lot. Happiness begins from within and when we love ourself and do no seek the approval of anyone, we are half-way to real contentment and the next key attribute, self-belief.

2. Self-Belief

With self-love comes amazing self-belief in what is truly possible. The Universe is our limit, as we become unstoppable and fearless. People who think highly of themselves do not see barriers to achievements or obstacles in their paths. Anything which blocks their journey can be removed because confident people already believe they have the tools to remove those blocks. They can cope with crises too because they believe they can. That is the main difference between a confident and low confidence person: one believes they have the power to affect their life, whereas the other looks to others to do it for them.

3. Comfort in Themselves

Confident people are happy in their own skin. They love who they are, they do not wish to be anyone else and they seek no one's approval to be whom they wish to be. That is a sure sign of a strong sense of belonging and personal security. Even when there is a setback, they know it is only temporary and they will be back in action again because they value themself and their talents, regardless of what other people think. They tend to do what they please without following the fashion or being lemmings. Being natural leaders, they tend to set the pace for others and to inspire them.

4. Self-Awareness

Confident people know their limitations and their potential. That is because they do not sit and dwell on their weaknesses, like people of low esteem. They identify their strengths and nurture them while acknowledging their weaknesses. But they are fully aware that the unique beings they are is the result of BOTH their strengths and weaknesses, so they do not dwell on the negative aspects of their personality. They know what makes them happy and sad. Being leaders and optimists, they are more assured in their direction and objectives because they understand who they are and what they want, which is the first key step to boosting achievement and personal development.

5. Fearlessness

Confident people tend to be pioneers, fearless in their approach and their actions. It is not that they do not have the usual fears of survival. What they don't have is the limiting and paralysing fears regarding simply living their life to the utmost which plague insecure and non-confident people. Those with high self-esteem are keen to get on with it so they tend to act first and be afraid later! Willing to take risks and to make sacrifices, they have very little fear in living their life to the max.

6. Experiment

Really confident people love to experiment, to try out new situations, innovate and create, They are always pushing the boundaries of their talents because of their self-belief. Unlike people of low esteem, confident ones do not care about making mistakes, because they know that's how they learn and grow. They are not worried about being wrong, but at arriving at a solution or a different result, no matter how many times they have to change their approach. They recognise that mistakes are part and parcel of success on their personal journey. Failure is not in their vocabulary and so they will achieve their desires no matter how long it takes, because they have the tenacity, self-belief and determination to keep trying even when many others have given up.

7. Happiness

Confident people are truly happy with their life. It doesn't mean they are never sad. It means that if they are down it lasts very briefly and then they are back up again. They know they can always do something else and change the result. People of low esteem always blame themselves and reinforce that with even poorer thoughts of their abilities, so they stay in the doldrums much longer. They are not truly at peace so they take the knocks badly. Confident people know that setbacks don't last long and all they need to do is brush themselves off and start all over again, while keeping their eye on their goals. Above all, being contented with themselves and their bodies, confident people tend to be truly happy, often cheerful and with a ready smile.

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You must master the art of believing in yourself. Nothing will propel you more forward in life than unwavering belief in yourself and your capabilities. This means rejecting any thoughts of self-doubt, of glorifying the input of others over your own, of seeing yourself as beneath others, or putting the considerations of others over your own.

You want to develop the type of confidence that is rooted so deeply within you that nothing can shake it. Having that type of confidence will keep you focused on the goal or mission and will keep you going when things get tough. It won't allow the opinions of others to skew the path you've decided for yourself.

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These simple things will improve your life

Sleeping well

Reading 10 pages of a book

Cutting toxic relationships, and if that's not possible, at least limit your exposure to them.

Eating natural foods

Drinking mineral water

Complimenting yourself

Walking in the sunshine

Complimenting others

Exercising

Optimizing protein intake

Meditation

Intermittent fasting

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Small ways to activate your "happiness" chemicals

DOPAMINE: the reward chemical

• Complete a task

• Doing self care activites

• Eating some food

• Celebrating your little wins.

OXYTOCIN: the love hormones

• Playing with a dog

• Playing with a baby

• Holding hands

• Hugging someone

• Giving someone else a compliment

SEROTONIN: the mood stabiliser

• Meditating

• Running

• Be in the sun

• Walk in nature

• Swimming

ENDORPHIN: the pain relief

• Laughing exercises

• Essential oils

• Eating dark chocolate

• Running

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When you try to make things better for a lot of people, you may end up making things worse for yourself. A little self-sacrifice is noble, but depriving yourself of too much will only leave you depleted. By that time, most people won't even realize that you need anything, because you're the one who has always given. Take care of yourself. Self preservation is not selfish, it's essential for living a full and happy life.

Notes on Self Worth...

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And now it’s spring, so my ideas are always so nice, sharp, inventive, and the dreams I have are tender; everything is rose-coloured.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Poor People

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SPRING: A lovely reminder of how truly beautiful change can be...

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It was a spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth.

Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

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Your soul knows... it will always tell you when it's time to turn the page and start a new chapter of your life – trust it.

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To what purpose, April, do you return again? Beauty is not enough. You can no longer quiet me with the redness of little leaves opening stickily. I know what I know. The sun is hot on my neck as I observe the spikes of the crocus. The smell of the earth is good. It is apparent that there is no death. But what does that signify? Not only under ground are the brains of men eaten by maggots. Life in itself is nothing, an empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs. It is not enough that yearly, down this hill, April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, from "Spring"

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HOW TO ROMANTICIZE LIFE

Romanticizing life involves finding joy and beauty in everyday moments. Here are some ideas to add a touch of romance to your life:

Gratitude Practice: Cultivate gratitude by appreciating the simple things in life. Keep a gratitude journal to reflect on positive experiences.

Mindfulness: Be present in the moment. Pay attention to your surroundings, savor the tastes and smells, and fully engage in your activities.

Create Rituals: Develop daily or weekly rituals that bring you joy, whether it's a special morning routine, an evening walk, or a cozy bedtime ritual.

Surround Yourself with Beauty: Decorate your space with things that make you happy – flowers, candles, artwork. Create an environment that uplifts your spirits.

Indulge in Your Senses: Enjoy sensory experiences. Treat yourself to your favorite meal, listen to beautiful music, or immerse yourself in a captivating fragrance.

Embrace Nature: Spend time in nature. Whether it's a park, a beach, or a forest, connect with the beauty of the natural world.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. It adds a sense of accomplishment and positivity to your life.

Dress for Yourself: Wear clothes that make you feel good. It's a simple way to express yourself and boost your confidence.

Connect with Loved Ones: Nurture your relationships. Spend quality time with friends and family, sharing laughter and creating cherished memories.

Read and Dream: Immerse yourself in literature, art, or music that sparks your imagination. Allow yourself to dream and be inspired.

Remember, romanticizing life is about finding joy in the little things and appreciating the beauty that surrounds you. It's a mindset that can bring more positivity and fulfillment into your daily experiences.

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