kaladinsspear - Tumblr blog

[kaladinsspear]

i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good

[kaladinsspear]

small relationship tip:

if you’ve got someone in your life who apologises for a lot, instead of constantly telling them that they don’t have to apologise for that thing, slip in a couple ‘thank you’s or other small compliments.

“I’m sorry I can’t talk about that right now.” -> “thanks for establishing a boundary.”

“sorry I won’t be home for dinner” -> “I’m glad you’re able to go out and spend time with friend/treat yourself/etc.”

“I’m sorry I vented so much” -> “thank you for trusting me with this.”

[kaladinsspear]

Bridge 4 Discuss Terrible Pickup Lines

As (sort of) requested by @dewypeach and @imtheseventh

So back when @cam-ulu29 asked for a Kaladin flirting list, I ran a poll about whether it should be a sincere, sweet list or a list full of terrible, out-of-character pickup lines. The former won by a MILE, but some people were interested in the latter. Dewypeach & imtheseventh in particular suggested doing something with Bridge 4 either suggesting terrible pickup lines or having Kaladin try them out. So here's something like that!

Skar: Worst pickup lines you can come up with. Go.

Lopen: I suggested one for Kaladin, but it wasn't terrible--it was really good. He acted like it was terrible, though--does that count?

Kaladin: It WAS terrible.

Kaladin: And...weird.

Kaladin: I'm not going to flirt with Dalinar. He is my boss. And married. And old.

Lopen: So what I said, right, was that Kal should look Dalinar right in the eye, all serious-like, and say, "My relationship with my father is terrible. Will you be my new Daddy?"

Moash: [spits out drink]

Skar: No!

Lopen: Listen, it would work! I can read a man, and I KNOW that would work on Dalinar!

Kaladin: I DON'T WANT TO FLIRT WITH DALINAR, MY MARRIED ELDERLY BOSS

Lopen: Okay, okay! If you prefer to flirt with Navani, you just gotta roll up with something like, "So I heard you like long, thick towers. It just so happens that I..."

Kaladin: NO

Moash: See, the thing is, Kal, you're attractive enough that you could probably get away with a really bad pickup line.

Moash: I bet you could tell someone that you want to "Plunge straight into their their Honor Chasm" and I bet it would work.

Kaladin: That would absolutely not work.

Moash: You say that, and yet...

Rock: Moash has point, though! We are all well-known now, yes? All good-looking (except maybe for Lopen, who is unfortunately very short). I think men like us get away with some pretty bad lines, yeah?

Letyen: "You did a bridge run straight into my heart."

Moash: "I wanna explore YOUR chasms."

Kaladin: (What's you and the chasms, man?)

Lyn: "Let's...bridge this distance between us."

Teft: "I'm from Bridge 4. Do you want to get a drink?"

Skar: "Let me show you how good I am with my spear."

Sigzil: "You prefilled the forms in my heart."

[They all look at him]

Sigzil: What? In Azir, that's a very effective line.

Moash: Is that true, though, or are you making up Azir stories to trick us stupid Alethi?

Sigzil: [sips drink enigmatically]

Kaladin: Fine, fine, okay!

Kaladin: If I wanted to "pick someone up" with my Bridge 4 cred, I guess I'd try something like...

Kaladin: ...

Kaladin: Uh... How about: "My days in the bridge crews were horrible and dark. I barely survived. I lost a lot of friends. Good friends. It haunts me still. But now that I'm out, I've decided to live. And that means doing things that make me WANT to live."

Kaladin: "Like going out with you!"

Kaladin: [Looks at them expectantly]

Moash: Oh, Kal...

Lopen: Even your pretty face can't save that one, gon...

Skar: The thick tower line is looking better and better...

Kaladin: WELL YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO BROUGHT IT UP

[kaladinsspear]

He's watching a cremling on the ground crawl by on a boring ass guard shift

[kaladinsspear]

A Song from Above ⛅ It's Smaugust! I don't really have an option to do any massive prompt list project, but I have this. I've been really cherishing themes of big open skies, freedom, brightness and forces of nature that can be encapsulated into imagery of dragons. It's another one of these 💙

[kaladinsspear]

QUEERING FAIRYTALES: Beauty and the Beast

[kaladinsspear]

Something something more representation for characters that are intended to be attractive than skinny able-bodied white people something something

[kaladinsspear]

Stormlight Characters, if you were going to be trapped on a deserted island and could only bring one object with you, what would it be?

Shallan: My drawing pad!

Shallan: I'll figure out escape later--but I don't want to be left unable to draw what I observe of the flora and fauna!

Kaladin: A really, really big gemstone. Maybe one of those perfect ones. Don't want to run out of Stormlight trying to fly over the ocean.

Adolin: Just one object?

Adolin: ...

Adolin: But all my other swords will get jealous!

Shallan: It doesn't have to be a sword.

Kaladin: Probably should not be a sword.

Adolin: Oh no, it's gonna be.

Jasnah: Captain Stormblessed has it correct.

Jasnah: I can escape from that place via Shadesmar.

Jasnah: But I will need Stormlight for that--so a gemstone is the correct play.

Renarin: I think I'll bring a boat!

Renarin: What? I don't think Stormlight would help me that much...

Teft: Might be good for me to be stuck on an island for a while.

Teft: Don't need much. Maybe I'll bring a towel to lie on or something.

Wit: Eh, if I end up there, I'm sure they'll be a reason.

Wit: I think I'll bring my flute.

Wit: You can fill a lot of hours with a flute.

Lift: Does a feast count as a single object?

Wyndle: T-That hardly adheres to the spirit of the question!

Lift: It's just a single word. I think it counts.

Dalinar: Am I allowed to name a person?

Dalinar: I would like Navani by my side.

Navani: That's so sweet!

Navani: I'm bringing my flying ship.

Dalinar: I respect that.

Dieno: Just...an island? Like a regular desert island?

Dieno: Boring!

Dieno: I guess I'll bring handcuffs for myself or something. At least make it a LITTLE fun.

Szeth: I would bring Nightblood.

Szeth: I would not expect him to help much in that situation, but he was entrusted to me.

Adolin: See?? The sword thing isn't just me!

Kaladin: Yes, thank the Almighty that the Assassin in White agrees with you...

Adolin: Yeah!

Adolin: Wait.

[kaladinsspear]

Like, I’m probably Demiromantic, and I have a hard time accepting it because I cannot imagine that people are serious when they say that they have a crush on somebody they just met. My ex and I were polyamorous and I have seen her meet somebody and know she wants to date them within a few meetings, but I still think of her as the odd one out.

I don’t date people because I have a crush on them, I date them because I logically concluded that we have common interests/values and want to see if a crush develops. I have to date someone for months before romantic interest develops. The early part of dating is just working on establishing a foundation of friendship.

My ex dated people to see if romantic feelings lasted, I date people to see if romantic feelings develop.

The funniest shit about asexuals is that all of us grew up consuming media that talks on and on about sexual attract and desire, with a pretty hypersexualized culture and people talk about it a fucking lot too. And what is that we all collectively think? "Yeah, that's clearly an exaggeration, nobody actually feels like that! The whole world it's pretending, that's the only possible explanation..." Like sure buddy, that's a very logical way of thinking, the entire world is acting, don't think too hard about it

[kaladinsspear]

Yeah, I can see that. His ‘voice’ has absolutely changed and it was a little abrupt.

I guess to me, it feels a little bit like the difference between before and after finding an antidepressant that worked. For me, finding treatment changed the tone of my personal narrative, and so the change in Kaladins voice reads like ‘finally made a breakthrough/found effective treatment’.

That is probably a hyper specific connection to make, and I can absolutely see it being a jarring change for a character.

As for spending most of the book researching mental health, I may be completely wrong about that. I thought that he spent a significant amount of time having texts read to him as he figured out treatment plans for the men he was working with. Now that I think about it, I may be mixing up his and Shallan mental health research, or that might not be as long a time period as I think it is.

I guess the point I was trying to make is that he is the foremost expert on psychology - to the point that Dalinar assigns him to help Ishar. The focus of his oaths shifted away from being a soldier and toward being a healer, specifically of the mind. It makes sense that he would think a lot about psychology.

I recognize that that is an entirely subjective interpretation though. I’m not necessarily trying to change your mind. :)

Wind and Truth Spoilers!

So I’ve seen some people saying that they are not happy with Kaladin in the preview chapters, and respectfully, I disagree.

The main criticism seems to be that he is too much of a therapist and that he wouldn’t know these things, but I don’t think so. Okay, maybe the specific word choice of neuroses was a bit academic for a society that hasn’t invented psychology yet, but what he was trying to say is that his and Shallan’s mental illnesses probably wouldn’t have played very nicely together and that is not an ooc thing to think.

Kaladin spent the better part of book 4 researching mental health. Sure most of what we saw was action, but that’s because this is a book and watching Kaladin learn therapy is not interesting. Kaladin also comes from a medical background. He’s not picking up an entirely new way of thinking, just applying something he already knows in a new context.

It feels to me like the whole point of these preview chapters is to establish how much Kaladin has grown and where his arc has settled him. We are establishing that Kaladin really has begun to heal, and I feel like a lot of fans are just not accepting that. All we have really seen of Kaladin is when he is in pain, of course he is going to be different once he starts to feel better. Of course he is going to be more patient, more emotive, and more introspective. Those have always been parts of his personality, just masked by pain.

TLDR: Kaladin is growing as a person and that is a good thing.

[kaladinsspear]

How Kaladin Would Flirt With Other Cosmere Characters

As requested by @cam-ulu29 :)

Hot off the back of my post about other characters flirting with Kaladin, cam-ulu29 asked if I could also write about Kaladin being the big flirt with other characters. So let's just say that Kaladin had the ability & the desire to flirt...how might he do so?

1. Lyn

Kaladin: I'm glad that there are women Windrunners now. Lyn: Man, me too! Kaladin: And specifically I am glad that you. A woman. And a Windrunner. Are here. Lyn: Awww, thanks! Kaladin (visibly sweating): Yes you. As a woman. Who is a Windrunner. And is here. Lyn: Are you...are you having a stroke right now?

2. Renarin

Kaladin: Hey, Renarin...back when you first joined Bridge 4, did you have a crush on me? Renarin: ! Renarin: W-Was it obvious? Kaladin: N-No, not really! Syl told me. Later. That she thought you did. Renarin: Oh... Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Any chance you still do?

3. Leswhi

Kaladin: Hey, uh, Leshwi? I was wondering if you would be free for an honorable duel, maybe Tuesday night? Leshwi: Certainly. I will assemble the shanay-im. Kaladin: Oh, well, I was actually thinking of an honorable duel with just you and me, you know? Syl: And me! Kaladin: And also Syl. Leswhi: ... Leshwi: Tuesday you said? It's a date.

4. Rlain

Kaladin: Ugh, all these women keep coming to the clinic to flirt with me. Kaladin: I can't get any work done! Kaladin: I bet if they knew I was in a relationship already, they'd stop. Kaladin: Hey Rlain...do you want to hold hands? Rlain: ...Are you asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend? Kaladin: Pretend?

5. Laral

Kaladin: Crazy how we're both single now. Laral: ... Laral: You mean because you got dumped and my husband DIED? Kaladin: Uh... Laral: ... Kaladin: So...not the right moment to see if you want to get a drink and catch up? Laral: NOPE

6. Adolin

Kaladin: I think horses are mean and scary. Adolin: That's just 'cause you haven't been around them enough! I swear! They're cool and friendly! Kaladin (continuing as if Adolin said nothing): But I would accept being around horses. Lots of mean horses. Kaladin: If it meant. Kaladin: Being around you. Adolin: ...? Kaladin: ... Adolin: ... Adolin: Oh! Adolin: Nice.

7. Shallan

Kaladin: [sighing dramatically] Shallan: What's wrong? Kaladin: I want to flirt with someone, but she's much wittier than I am, so I don't know how to even start. Shallan: Oooh, that's exciting! Can I give you advice? Kaladin: I would LOVE advice. Shallan: Well, it depends on whether you can match her wit, or whether you think she's entirely too witty for that. Kaladin: I think I could. Sometimes. Probably not while also flirting, though. Shallan: Sure, sure. Well, you can always just enjoy her wit and let her enjoy how smart she is. Kaladin: Yeah? You think making her feel smart is a good tactic? Shallan: Well, it certainly can't hurt! Kaladin: [significant look] Shallan: ... Shallan: Oh! Shallan: Nice.

8. Moash:

Kaladin: You know...I bet I could swallow a WAY bigger sphere than you could... Moash: MY BED IS UPSTAIRS LET'S GO RIGHT NOW

9. Szeth

Kaladin: You know...I've been thinking that maybe this trip is a chance to find what I really need. Szeth: I feel the same way. Kaladin: You...you do? Szeth: I do. Nightblood: (Me too!) Kaladin: Well, good...because I think what I really need is... Kaladin: You... Szeth (simultaneously): Vengeance. Nightblood (simultaneously): The eradication of evil! Kaladin: ... Kaladin: I don't know what I expected.

10. Jasnah

Kaladin (talking to someone else): I mean...being partnered is fine, I guess, but the sex stuff I don't really get. Jasnah: ... [...] Kaladin (to someone else): Darkeyed Radiants is good and all but, I mean, we still have slavery. Anyone who really cared about social change would do somehing about that! Jasnah: ... [...] Kaladin: (to someone else): I like Wit, but storms can he be annoying sometimes. Small doses, you know? Jasnah: ... [...] Kaladin (talking to someone else): So then I convinced the ardents that locking up the insane in dark rooms was NOT a good thing--they're gonna change the treatment! Jasnah: ... Jasnah: Has Stormblessed always been so attractive?

[kaladinsspear]

more shallan....what is she drawing

[kaladinsspear]

I could never be a protagonist because I'd just never move the plot along. "You have free reign of this castle, but don't go into this one area" Okie dokie. I mind my own business and hang out in the library. Queen of staying in my own lane. I'll never discover your magic curse.

[kaladinsspear]

We talk about Shallan being funny a lot but Sylphrena had me cackling in the preview chapters. I love how she has been trying to take part in vorinism more but the second she is confronted with the purity culture of it she responds with "I turned my vagina into a chull head and I feed it grass sometimes."

I can't believe people were criticizing that, that was a flawless and savage conversational shutdown.

[kaladinsspear]

The Shallan and Wit Podcast Presents: Insane Conspiracy Theories of Roshar

What do you mean they don't have podcasts on Roshar?

1. Conspiracy Theory #1: Adolin was replaced by a body double after the 4 v. 1 duel

Shallan: Oh, this is a fun one! Shallan: According to some conspiracy theorists, Adolin--my husband--actually died of injuries after his four versus one duel, and after that he was replaced by a body double. Wit: A good story, Shallan, but what is their so-called evidence? Shallan: Well, apparently the time he spent in "prison" after the duel was actually the time it took for him to die of his injuries, be buried, and for them to find a suitable body double. Shallan: People also claim that the new "Adolin" is far different from his predecessor, citing things like him actually getting married--ouch--and the fact that he acted out by killing a highprince, perhaps because the body double is not totally stable. Plus, people claim that his brother Renarin has since gotten weirder, possibly because he knows the truth and it's killing him. Wit: Well, as the wife of the potential body double in question, what do you have to say to these theorists, Shallan? Shallan: How dare you--I'M the one with body doubles!

2. Conspiracy #2: There was no Assassin in White

Wit: This theory actually comes in two flavors. Wit: Some claim that there simply never was an "Assassin in White" and that King Gavilar was killed by his inner circle--perhaps even by his brother Dalinar. Shallan: Gasp! Wit: Others buy that SOME killings were done by the assassin, but claim that many other high-profile killings were simply pinned on him! Basically, that it was an assassination free-for-all where you could easily get away with murder just pinning it on Szeth! Shallan: I mean, if you wanted to get away with murder, it's not a bad play...but what do you think? Wit: Met the guy. He readily admits to doing all of it. Shallan: Puts a crimp in the theory...if you believe an assassin! Wit: Dum, dum, DUM! Wit: Anyway.

3. The Plague in the Purelake was caused by ALIENS

Shallan: So there really was a plague in the Purelake--that much is true--but some people claim that it's not a natural plague, that it was caused...by aliens! Wit: As in...visitors from another planet? Shallan: Yes! Wit: Oh, well that one's true. Shallan: ... Wit: Worldhoppers. Shallan: Oh. Wit: Yup. Shallan: Score 1 for the conspiracy theorists, I guess!

4. Conspiracy Theory #4: Gavilar and Dalinar are the same person.

Wit: It's another one about your inlaws, Shallan! Shallan: Yay? Wit: This conspiracy theory holds that Gavilar and his brother Dalinar are in fact the same person! Wit: In his guise as Gavilar, he played the wise king, but when he wanted to let loose and bring bloody vengeance, he became "Dalinar." Shallan: Again, I'm the one who is multiple people! It feels like sexism somehow that it's all the men who are assumed to be, like, body doubles and fake people. Wit: You're probably right. Shallan: Anyway, I'll be interested to hear the evidence seeing as Dalinar and his brother were, like, seen together. A lot. Wit: Eh, "body double" explains that away. As for why people think this is true--well, it is apparently because it "explains so much." Why did Sadeas and Dalinar have a falling out? Because Sadeas knew the truth and didn't want to hide it any more. Why did Sades become the Highprince of Information? To signal that he had information that others needed to know. Why was Sadeas killed? Because he knew the truth, once again. Why did Navani marry her husband's "brother"--well, because she just missed him after having to pretend he was dead! Shallan (sarcastically): Well, I'm convinced. Wit: So compelling to be sure.

5. Conspiracy #5: Super-intelligent cremlings can imitate humans!

Shallan: For the final conspiracy theory of today's podcast, let's talk about all of Roshar. Apparently, there are people everywhere who aren't people at all--they're masses of cremlings pretending to be a person! Shallan: Literally ANYONE you meet could actually be BUGS! Wit: Ridiculous! Shallan: Yeah...this one is a little bit silly. Wit: The Sleepless are made of hordelings, not cremlings, and there's just not that many of them. The odds of your average person meeting one are simply not that high. Shallan: Wait...this one is true too? Wit: I just said it wasn't (quite)! Shallan: Trying to get a conspiracy started about yourself, I see. Wit: It's of course my dream.

[kaladinsspear]

Self indulgent fluffy modern Shakadolin AU. Because I love them.

* Kaladin is ex army. One of those people who was special forces and therefore “officially” sat on his butt and did nothing for all 6 years of his service. He didn’t of course, but his entire file is redacted so he gets nothing. No disability (how could he have ptsd? He was “never deployed”) no VA support, no GI bill, nothing.

* He is now working for Amazon as a delivery driver while he goes to school. He started premed, but ended up switching to psychology. He’s especially interested in the body/mind connection. Not necessarily medication (though, he does support its use when needed) but more things like diet, sleep, exercise, and how your physical health affects your mental/emotional health.

* He volunteers at the local animal shelter where he takes dogs on hikes each week. This is how he met Syl.

* Syl is a Veterinarian. She volunteers at the local animal shelter as well, and the two quickly became close friends. They currently share an apartment.

* They tried dating for about a week (heteronormativity ya know?) but decided that it wasn’t for them. They love each other deeply and would consider each other life partners, but they don’t love each other romantically.

* Shallan works at one of those “paint with me” art studios. She has a degree in….drawing? (Sorry! I don’t know what the specializations are in art school!) and takes commissions for technical illustrations on the side.

* She loves the Wheel of Time series and has a thriving fan art instagram and tumblr.

* She met Jasna when she was in school. Jasna was her history professor and quickly became her mentor. Somewhere between a mother and older sister with a little bit of a crush thrown in. Not that Shallan would ever actually want to be in a romantic relationship with Jasna, but she so pretty, and smart, and opinionated, and bold, and…… ya know?

* Jasna is the one who introduced her to Adolin, and he and Shallan hit it off right away.

* They dated for about 3 years before getting married. They are sickeningly adorable.

* Adolin served in the military as well because it was family tradition, but didn’t make the career out of it that was expected of him.

* Adolin was a Marine, and his service is on record. He gets a nice GI bill which he is using to study physical therapy.

* Turns out, Adolin and Kaladin go to the same school.

* At first they are kind of indifferent to each other, but soon bond over shared military experience and an interest in whole body health.

* Adolin introduces Kaladin to Shallan and the two hit it off super well.

* Fortunately, they are all adults who know how to talk to each other and Shallan and Adolin have discussed polyamory before, all be it in hypothetical terms.

* Adolin is actually the one to bring it up to Kaladin, just to make sure Kaladin doesn’t feel pressured or sneaky. All 3 of them have a conversation about what a relationship might look like, and they decide to try it out.

* Turns out, it works great for them. Kaladin and Adolin have a delightful bromance thing going on. They probably wouldn’t have gotten together without Shallan, but they love each other deeply and enjoy their relationship.

* Shallan and Syl are super close as well, and they enjoy drawing together and discussing the Wheel of Time.

* Syl and Adolin get super into cosplay and make fantastic creations together.

[kaladinsspear]

Wind and Truth Spoilers!

So I’ve seen some people saying that they are not happy with Kaladin in the preview chapters, and respectfully, I disagree.

The main criticism seems to be that he is too much of a therapist and that he wouldn’t know these things, but I don’t think so. Okay, maybe the specific word choice of neuroses was a bit academic for a society that hasn’t invented psychology yet, but what he was trying to say is that his and Shallan’s mental illnesses probably wouldn’t have played very nicely together and that is not an ooc thing to think.

Kaladin spent the better part of book 4 researching mental health. Sure most of what we saw was action, but that’s because this is a book and watching Kaladin learn therapy is not interesting. Kaladin also comes from a medical background. He’s not picking up an entirely new way of thinking, just applying something he already knows in a new context.

It feels to me like the whole point of these preview chapters is to establish how much Kaladin has grown and where his arc has settled him. We are establishing that Kaladin really has begun to heal, and I feel like a lot of fans are just not accepting that. All we have really seen of Kaladin is when he is in pain, of course he is going to be different once he starts to feel better. Of course he is going to be more patient, more emotive, and more introspective. Those have always been parts of his personality, just masked by pain.

TLDR: Kaladin is growing as a person and that is a good thing.