lappel--duvide

[lappel--duvide]

A veces somos tan ingenuos, buscando la atención de quienes ya nos han olvidado.

Jhomaes

[lappel--duvide]

I am definitely going to die alone. I am going to die unloved, depressed and useless.

[lappel--duvide]

But you all know that one day I will die by suicide. You all know deep down you just haven't accepted it yet. I wasn't made for this world of endless suffering.

[lappel--duvide]

I hate how much of a shit person I am…

[lappel--duvide]

I’d do anything to feel okay for a while. Just a for a while. Please. I am so tired.

[lappel--duvide]

i'm really fucking scared this is all i will ever be

[lappel--duvide]

kinda wanna leave. kinda wanna ghost everyone. kinda wanna rot under a blanket. kinda wanna feel loved. kinda wanna feel wanted. kinda wanna

[lappel--duvide]

i think I bother everyone by being alive

[lappel--duvide]

i know deep down i really am never going to make it, and this will end by my own hands

[lappel--duvide]

[lappel--duvide]

Estoy en una etapa de mi vida en la que absolutamente nada me hace feliz y tampoco me emociona, nada logra tapar mis vacíos. Es como si me hubiera vuelto un hielo por dentro.

[lappel--duvide]

a letter to myself

i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry for treating you like this, for letting others treating you the way they did, for not taking care of you, for not listening to you, for not being there for you. i failed you. i'm sorry i can't be better for you, i don't have the strength anymore. there's only one thing i can give you and is peace. i'll give it to you soon. you deserved better.

[lappel--duvide]

everything will be fine when i'm not longer here

[lappel--duvide]

[lappel--duvide]

I miss the way I viewed the world before I knew too much about it

[lappel--duvide]

i wonder how my life would have been with a good, loving family and without all these traumas

[lappel--duvide]

i'm wasting my life. my teenage years were supposed to be the best ones and i wasted them being sad without going out and doing what i was supposed to do. now i'm wasting my 20s for the same reason and i hate it. but nothing changes. it only gets worse, never better. my mental health, the way i look, my (no) social life, my grades. it's getting worse. what's the point of being here when nothing is worthy? when i cry every day, when i'm alone with no support, with no money to see a therapist? i can't anymore.