lesbean05

[lesbean05]

Hey Imodna nation so I stated writing a song called Lavender from the perspective of Laudna. You can probably guess who it’s about.

I’ve only got one verse atm but lmk what you think and if I should finish it

[lesbean05]

I did a writing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66077182

“I love you, doctor.”

She paused.

What?

How far in the future does this future her come from? I love you? That’s a bit upfront isn’t it? Any other time previous doctors have met each other, sure they quite often get along- being the same person means you’re able to essentially read each other’s mind in a way that looks very clever- or bicker like siblings, but I love you seems a bit much.

“I never say things like that.”

She could think about the implications of that. That the doctor is someone who can whizz around saving countless lives, countless worlds, display such selfless kindness in that way. But she couldn’t say it. I love you. Those three little words just seemed a bit too much. They meant “I want to be close to you. I want you to stay with me.” Because sure, the doctor can have their friends. But the world never stops turning. The people that they love will die and rot, and that burning pain that swallows you whole, and feels like it can never be escaped will return. So what’s the point if it all just turns to burning pain?

It made her fidget just thinking about it. The idea of Yaz… not being here anymore, and she pushed the cruel thought away.

“That’s why you’ve got me.”

The future doctor seemed very pleased with himself. As she looked into his eyes she could still see that pain, that fire, the telltale sign that he was much older than his appearance suggested. But she realised then. He wore it proudly. He loved boldly. He had learned to love himself, and others in a way she never thought possible.

She had been pushing it down. She chose to keep moving, to umm and err when her and Yaz took a break from the running, so that she wouldn’t fall deeper into those chestnut brown eyes she loved so much. She felt like Alice falling into wonderland every time she looked into those eyes, like she had chosen her path she could never turn back.

God, Yaz was brilliant. So many humans were so complicated and selfish and slow, but Yaz was incredible. The kind of person that looked out for strangers on the street. Who protected those who needed protecting. Who wasn’t afraid to stand up for the hurting and vulnerable. And she was so incredibly smart. The kind of smart that the doctor admired in a person. The kind of smart that should have her as the highest paid detective in the country. And did she mention that Yaz was absolutely beautiful.

She really did love her.

She was doing it again now. Enough. Don’t have time to be thinking about that and…

But if this man’s relentless love was her future?

“I should say that to Yaz!”

“You never do”

Her face fell. What? Yaz… just never knows? No, no that feels worse. Such a brilliant person, feeling alone? She had seen something in those eyes before. That sad and angry burning that looked all to similar to her own. That sign that she truly believed she was alone.

“But she knows.”

She’ll believe that when she sees it.

“Goodbye, doctor.”

“Goodbye, doctor.”

“Doctor?” A bored sounding voice began to echo around her. “Doooooooooctor?” Yaz’s voice floated over to her as she blinked back to consciousness. “Ah, there you are. I was starting to get worried”

Yaz was dressed in her pyjamas, her soft hair loose and tumbling in waves down her back. She yawned as she padded up the stairs into the console room and sat on a step with her chin resting on her arm, regarding the doctor casually.

“D’you want tea? I’ve just put the kettle on”

The doctor turned to face her, and began approaching almost cautiously, staring into her eyes, searching.

“Doctor, you ok?”

She couldn’t tell. She really had no idea.

“I-“

Yaz’s brow furrowed as she sensed something was wrong, and caught the doctor’s hands, gently pulling her to sit on the step next to her.

The doctor fidgeted, cleared her throat, avoided eye contact, but when Yaz softly touched her check to direct their eyes to meet, the doctor know right then.

She just had to tell her.

“You know that I love you, right? Like, really, really love you?”

Yaz gasped. For a moment, the doctor thought that she had messed up everything.

But then Yaz did something the doctor didn’t expect.

She leaned in and kissed her.

And oh, if this wasn’t worth that burning then she had no idea. Because the way their lips danced in perfect harmony felt like fireworks in her brain. Like the power of a billion supernovas was rushing through her veins, and liquid starlight was boiling in her belly.

She eventually pulled away, and it felt like surfacing on a river of lava. She drew back, capturing those magical eyes with hers yet again, and they shone in the amber light of the console room.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

[lesbean05]

We are about to EAT I can already tell (we will be so obnoxious about one (1) line of dialogue)

huge day for annoying people (thassies)

[lesbean05]

Ya’ll

“I should say that to Yaz”

MY HEART

[lesbean05]

Hey. Hey Russell. What the FUUUCK

”i should say that to yaz” IM GONNA KILL MYSELFFFFFF

[lesbean05]

THASMIN CRUMBS IN 2025 WTF

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN

[lesbean05]

I tried drawing episode 1 Laudna because she’s so cuteeee

I’m not an artist but I try sometimes

Also idk wtf is going on with her left hand just ignore it

Reference:

[lesbean05]

Hospitality workers I just wanna say good luck with VE Day celebrations may your barrels be full may your customers be reasonable and may your tips be plentiful

[lesbean05]

Love that *distressed squeaking* is actually a Marisha-ism instead of being fully in character

A Long Road Home - Page 106 Author Notes

Page 106

So recently my friend Snow (while doing calendar math for her excellent fic) shook me by revealing that since the Exandrian year is shorter than ours by a few weeks, everyone is actually a little younger than their stated age in years. The conversion comes out to about 9 Earth years for every 10 Exandrian years, meaning that by our calendar Matilda was only about 18 when The Bad Thing happened. So on the one hand :’(! but on the other I now feel even more validated about the Disney princess face I’ve been drawing Laudna with this whole time haha.

Also recently I realized that the descriptive caption of “distressed squeaking” -- which I have internalized as a quintessential Laudna noise -- didn’t come from the actual campaign, it came from this very good youtube video.

Speaking of The Bad Thing I like the unintentional foreshadowing here with the illusion she conjures as a scare. This page has existed and remained mostly unchanged since an early draft, before I rearranged the order of events to shift the main part of Laudna’s backstory to the end. So originally we would have been introduced to Sylas Briarwood already before seeing the monster inspired by him, rather than the other way around. I like the buildup this lends to it here.

[lesbean05]

Just saw on Reddit that the opposite of "easy peasy lemon squeezy" is "stressed depressed lemon zest" and I will be using that In everyday speech

[lesbean05]

Jesus this is thorough I wish I had this much free time

Campaign 3 At A Glance

Ever wonder what the top spell cast during Campaign 3 was? What about who rolled the most nat 20s, how many healing potions got used, or how long Bells Hells were adventuring for? At long last, we are thrilled to share ~C3 At A Glance!~

Before we get started: all of this data is available at omenarchive.com/c3, and there’s MUCH more—each of these categories is linked to a page with detailed breakdowns, rankings, time stamps, transcript excerpts, descriptions, and the like. For now, though, we wanted to give you a basic tour of what’s new. 

(This is a long one—click below to keep reading!)

Let’s start with time. C3 took place over 1,205 real-world days, mapping to a round 100 days in-game: from 17 Brussendar to 24 Quen’pillar of 843 PD (dates confirmed by CR). That’s a little over 14 weeks, or three months. 

The campaign ran 506 hours, 36 minutes, and 9 seconds long. The average episode was 4:11:12 long, with an average gameplay length of 3:46:50. Our total gameplay time spent with Bells Hells was 421:43:21, which is about 17.57 days. 

The top episode for critical successes was C3E120, with 18 PC nat 20s, and the top-critting PC was Orym, with 89. All in all, Bells Hells rolled 519 natural 20s... and 336 natural 1s, with Orym again taking the lead at 57. 

The party cast 1862 spells and 1162 cantrips, with the favorite spells being Sending, Cure Wounds, and Detect Thoughts, and the favorite cantrips being Guidance, Druidcraft, and Prestidigitation. The top caster was Imogen with 667 spells/cantrips followed by FCG with 574. 

We’ve got every spell logged, which means lists of top spells/cantrips by caster! Yes, even Ashton (thanks to Pass Without Trace). There’s too much to summarize, so see below for details—it's worth a look. And visit each individual character’s page for their full list. (Chetney / Laudna / Dorian / FCG / Braius / Fearne / Imogen / Orym / Ashton)

Time for some battle stats! First, it’s worth noting that we’ve divided up the data to clarify which stats refer only to Bells Hells, which include guests, and which are for the campaign as a whole. In some cases, we’ve listed both overall rankings and BH-exclusive rankings. 

Our top damage dealers for C3 were Imogen (5271 HP), Orym (4321), and Ashton (4081). The top BH episodes by damage dealt were C3E120 (3231 HP), C3E117 (936) and C3E91 (904). Collectively, BH + guests dealt 26493 HP of damage. 

That damage added up to 225 kills by BH + guests, with the top killers being Ashton (38), Imogen (37.33), and FCG (31.5). Matt asked “How do you want to do this?” for 88 of those kills.  

As for damage taken, Ashton and Orym lead the pack with 2651 HP and 2440 HP. The top BH episodes by damage taken were C3E120 (1239 HP), C3E091 (950), and C3E80 (614). In total, the party (including guests) took 16991 HP of damage. 

Over the course of the campaign, 34 healing potions were used, 243 HP of suffering were transferred, and PCs gave out 5862 HP of healing. The top healers were FCG (1451 HP), Trist (770), Deanna (711), Dorian (706), and Fearne (443).  

Of course, the campaign wasn’t without casualties. There were 61 KOs during Campaign 3, with Orym knocked out most often (10 times) followed by Ashton and Fearne (9 times each). C3E033 and C3E091, the two Otohan fights, led in PC KOs, with 9 and 8 respectively. 

There were 10 PC deaths, 3 of which were permanent. Interestingly, Ashton is the only PC to have died more than once (neither time in combat!), and Imogen and Dorian are the only founding members of BH never to have died at all. 

Now, here comes the fun stuff! They say the dice tell a story, but numbers do too.  

We’ve collected data—lots and lots of it—on things like which maneuvers Orym used most often (Goading Attack, 66 times, and Bait and Switch, 41 times), how many times Imogen and FCG read minds (67 and 24 respectively), and how many times Laudna used her Form of Dread (41). 

We’ve also got detailed data on uses of Sending (159, with 91 by Imogen) and Druidcraft (53, 50 by Orym), instances of Fearne’s Wild Shape (58, 28 of which turned her into animals like a slow loris and a giant shoebill), and Ashton’s rages (gravity was the most frequent type).  

Plus, of course, kisses, of which there were a heartwarming 81. 

We highly recommend clicking through to the main pages for each of these data types, as there’s a LOT more than meets the eye. 

During the course of the campaign, Chetney carved 42 items, Laudna called people capable 29 times (26 of them were Imogen), Dorian used Bardic Inspiration 21 times, Imogen had 17 dreams, and FCG and those who loved him said “smiley day” 88 times. 

FCG also baked 34 items and made and/or inspired 68 mentions of their flesh tongue, as well as 35 references to the planet being flat. Sorry, Matt. 

Braius painted 7 portraits (we have time stamps!), Imogen’s eyes flashed 31 times (we have descriptions!), and Fearne successfully stole 30 items (she probably still has most of those!).  

She also referred to herself by eight titles, our favorite of which is Professor Princess Fearne Calloway, Fey Scion of the Ancient Flame. 

As for Ashton, they said “fuck” a total of 1401 times, plus 329 more in Taliesin’s character narration. We’ve got a list of them all. 

The Quintessence Array was used ten times, on eight objects and two people. Delilah Briarwood was mentioned 152 times, and the Matron of Ravens 211 times. (Those are both subjective numbers—check out our charts for detailed lists of occurrences.) 

1531 items were exchanged, and the episode with the most items exchanged was C3E012 Make it Fashion, with 67 items. 

There were 89 whispers, Sam wore 22 different shirts with the cast’s faces on them, Marisha waved 14 fans, and Matt made 81 beautiful battle maps.  

We saw 42 beloved PCs, all of whose first and last scenes are catalogued here. 

Last but not least, Matt facepalmed a grand total of 343 times, with the most facepalmworthy episode being C3E032. We don’t know about you, but we think it’s time for a full rewatch. Is it Thursday yet? 

[lesbean05]

Thank you so much I only have like 5 fics but fuck me if I’m going to let them be stolen to train an AI

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

[lesbean05]

I miss that “Paul McCartney sings live and let die and then fucking explodes” trend

[lesbean05]

“But you don’t seem adhd-“ bro I just spent 3 hours learning how to code with html at like 2 in the morning because I had an idea for a doctor who- inspired analog horror ARG

[lesbean05]

I really spend my whole last dnd session abandoning my bonds, my alliegences, my morals, my alignment because there was a hot tiefling

[lesbean05]

I would love to write some joyous cheerful folk songs right now but my life is currently falling apart around me so that’s a lot easier said than done

[lesbean05]

Y’all I forgot how WILD scrolling on TikTok is because I fully just had like three posts in a row that made me nearly choke on my drink from laughing too hard and then scrolled and saw the most soul crushing, heart breaking edit I have ever witnessed in my life and it was just such emotional whiplash