lilacsadgirl - Tumblr blog

[lilacsadgirl]

Know no one reads it... it's so long. I just felt like I have to share it somewhere. It needs to be corrected but I need to see if it's worthy enough or not.

My dear grey one, who I love the most

No one here around me except your ghost

Seems like you're dead I can't reach you anymore

Drown and covered in blues, miss how it felt before

My careless grey one, who I care about the most

The pest incurable girl recently lies on frigid floors

These shattered glasses really hurt my toes

As time goes they match the color of my nose

My dark grey one who I light the most

I treated you the best even on my worst

Stole my time and attention from the rest

That's why no one knows I'm such a mess

My numb grey one who I feel the most

Never ending emotions drag me like a force

Battling, bruising, healing my life's a curse

Misapprehended emotions make you nothing but gross

My static grey one who I run to the most

Took off my conscious awareness all to be yours

Wanted to be held by you when they treated me bad

I used to saw your smile when they didn't understand

My dry grey one who I rain on the most

Wish you could know the pain you put into my soul

Eyes so much smaller, they look thirstier

I remember you when I look in the mirror

My indescribable grey one who I narrate the most

Maybe if I were interesting you would call me your own

I sticked little hearts on me with color of your thoughts

Keeping you in my arm isn't free it needs to be cost

My changing grey one who I rely on the most

I'm the stones on your cliffside all I do is roll

There's a girl inside of me, she endlessly hates you

The other one dementedly writes about you

My uncertain grey one who I assure the most

All my existence includes is skin and bones

I feel like this sadness gonna stick forever

I run to the means to fullfil, I mean whoever

My unsteady grey one who I tolerate the most

There's nothing to write for you but these empty notes

Why can't you miss me, not those kind to force

Passing all the hurdles but chronics on my horse

My invisible grey one who I see the most

Don't know why I'm breathing without a goal

Can't feel yellow anymore your absence paints me blue

What we had was so constrained so you had to unglue?

My flawless grey one who I reclaim the most

Do the ones around you really know your worth?

Never regretted sharing anything with you

Maybe this will be the first time I would do

My busy grey one, who I need the most

Got no beauty, seem deader than a corpse

Been talking to you, your shadow's on the walls

Wanted to ask if from the start it was false

My free grey one who I committe to the most

Waves of your emotions no longer rest on my coast

Teared myself apart, you cared enough to watch

Not seen you within years but barely felt your touch

My unsolvable grey one who I try the most

Don't be ashamed if someone sees you on your lows

But if someone's not me, it's not for the better

Comprehending your moods needs someone clever

My forgotten grey one who I remind the most

I still talk to the moon, while the wind blows

Everytime you loved me I was in love with you

But you didn't love me all the times I loved you

My impatient grey one who I wait for the most

Tell me have you ever tried hard to be loved before?

You don't have to but I do that's how my story remains

Buried unwritten words choke me, I obsess my own killers

My unknown grey one who I know the most

My words gonna tell you how my world flows

Seems like you don't even notice I'm not around

Been hidden in your closet hoped to be found

My quiet grey one who I talk to the most

New conversations can't be bought from the stores

I wrote thousand letters for you inside my mind

Directed hundred movies with you while I was blind

My lost grey one who I find the most

Gonna risk whatever to fill this hole

How hard it was to break the pieces this small?

Lying glamorising the shit you did to me after all

My insecure grey one who I defeat the most

Too many brutal insurgents are getting close

You destroy me effortlessly by not being destroyed

Maybe I wasn't good enough for you to be employed

My brave grey one who I'm afraid the most

Cheeks don't host my weakness, surrounded by savior boats

I thought about you wherever I went to

Now those places are hardest to go through

My realistic grey one who I dream of the most

My imaginary fairytale moments feel like a joke

Can't see you talking to me in my Dreamland

Would've stay there all day if you took my hand

My unbreakable grey one who I fall for the most

Why can't I hurt you, diligently tired but not even close

I care so truly but sentimentalism smells needy

Roses are morose while the weather is sunny

My escapee grey one who I look for the most

Still waiting patiently wishing you open the doors

Blood drops on my body scream you riped my soul

Spend years and years to heal from what we did not control

My calm grey one who I fight the most

Our struggles seem too different to be close

Obviously again we got nothing to discuss

It's the same, your promises always turn to dusk

My dear grey one, my gone grey one, who I miss the most

Did you know that is was you who hurt me the most?

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

[lilacsadgirl]

So beautiful 🦋

[lilacsadgirl]

Credit to @macrosbudt, who created the original post and gave permission to repost. I'm trying to blaze this. If it doesn't work, that means the moderators rejected it.

Edit: Yeah, they rejected it. This is at least the 3rd time they've decided to reject a post about women being oppressed.

[lilacsadgirl]

Help us by spreading the news.

Be our our voice.

[lilacsadgirl]

I liked this scene so much

It felt comfortable ✨☕📚

[lilacsadgirl]

I missed them:)

[lilacsadgirl]

I was happy there, not thinking about you or maybe thinking about not thinking about you.

[lilacsadgirl]

I'm jealous of the girl who forgives

I'm jealous of the girl who achieves

I'm jealous of the girl who's not afraid of trying

I'm jealous of the girl who's not ashamed of running

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't think too much

I'm jealous of the girl who easily talks so much

I'm jealous of the girl who sees life as a journey

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't feel being thirty

I'm jealous of the girl who writes happy endings

I'm jealous of the girl who has many feelings

I'm jealous of the girl who thinks she has someone

I'm jealous of the girl who isn't tired of everyone

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't know this emptiness exists

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't think before she speaks

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't care

I'm jealous of the girl who's not aware

I'm jealous of the girl staying up talking to you

I'm jealous of the girl so confidently looking at you

I'm jealous of the girl who wants to communicate

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't bother elucidate

I'm jealous of the girl her mother praise

I'm jealous of the girl her father craves

I'm jealous of the girl laughing in your arms

I'm jealous of the girl longing for your hugs

I'm jealous of the girl you always talk about

I'm jealous of the girl you can't live without

I'm jealous of the girl you're trying to keep

I'm jealous of the girl who can go to sleep

I'm jealous of the girl who feels like her own age

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't see home as a cage

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't know you change

I'm jealous of the girl who enjoys being strange

I'm jealous of the girl who doesn't even know you

Cause I miss my old self more than I miss you.

[lilacsadgirl]

No one knows me here, no one reads me here and no one excepts me here so I can be myself so easily.