lions-and-tigers-ohmy - Tumblr blog

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

*A few (possibly) unpopular opinions re. Good Omens 2:

*Spoiler alert...

While I theoretically support any and all canonization of the Crowley/Aziraphale ship, I would still like to point out that:

1. Michael Sheen and David Tennant, both undeniably talented actors who've done a marvelous job portraying the emotional devotion between their characters, need to up their physical game. It's tiresome watching heterosexual men portraying kissing other men as stiff, unyielding, and downright wooden. If you're going for it - go for it, but with real passion. Which brings me to my second point -

2. Good Omens 2 feels like fanfiction of Good Omens. Its flimsy plot is not necessarily its main focus (nor strength), but rather the relationship between its main characters, and how their perception of it changes by seeing other relationships around them (Gabriel/Beelzebub, Maggie/Nina). This is Very Much a deviation from what Good Omens (the book) initially set out to be, and the transition is not smooth. Spending six hours only to have Crowley told off for playing matchmaker and seeing Gabriel and Beelzebub falling in love in a series of flashbacks does not a season make. Even as an avid 'shipper', this was not satisfying to watch. As Fifty Shades of Grey proved - fanfiction, even when extremely popular, doesn't necessarily make for good viewing material.

3. And while we're on the topic of fanfiction, I would like to take a hard left and point out one of the prime examples of what Great Fanfiction is: Anyone who is a fan of Good Omens and BBC's Sherlock fanfiction owes it to themselves to read manic_intent's 'Pater Noster' series. Will it make for good TV? Probably not. But if Good Omens' writers want to learn a thing or two about 'show, not tell' when it comes to how angels and demons fall in love - I highly encourage them to go read it (once they're done striking, of course).

Pater Noster by manic_intent on AO3

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Seeing people who don't like Mycroft (take 2):

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE MYCROFT HOLMES

To settle an argument with a friend, who says Mycroft is creepy and no one likes him

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Show of hands: who else is surviving purely because of fanfiction right now? Because if I couldn't read about my favourite idiots getting stuck in different time periods, in ridiculous scenarios and then having maddeningly good sex, I wouldn't get up in the morning.

The world sucks. Thank you Archive Of Our Own writers. I truly love you.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

I found an Etsy seller who will turn any image into a pin badge for you. And:

Gonna wear this baby everywhere and watch out for people giving it the startled eyes emoji. This is my new secret handshake.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

I am sorry. I’m bashing Apple here. And for good reason.

This is a plea to my followers.

Stop buying Apple products. I know you’ve used them for most of your life, and I know it’s inconvenient to move to a new brand because in most cases, you cannot take your contacts with you on various chat apps.

I know this is inconvenient. I truly do.

But Apple is not the company it was before. There is now no difference between an Apple computer and a Windows computer in terms of graphic design. I know this for a fact. I had to use both in college 20 years ago, and non-apple computers are now generally better for design work than Apple computers.

Most non-apple companies encourage self-repair of your own devices, while Apple refuses it. I also know this for a fact, as I watched Apple computers become slowly less reparable through the late 90s and early 2000s. Where I was once able to do the repairs on our office computers, we had to start sending out our Apple devices because they started gluing things down on their logic boards. Notably the glue they used was not heat-resistant and led to device damage should the heat sink system fail. But they did this because they wanted to dig more money out of their customers.

Apple software is also designed to fail. I cannot believe people are still buying new devices after the scandal where Apple was slowing their phones in order to force people to purchase new versions.

Apple hardware is designed to become obsolete. Motherboards and logic boards are designed to hold exactly what comes attached to them and will fail if upgrade attempts are made.

Apple refuses to work with software developers despite promises of cross-compatibility. One of the very first coding problems I discovered was to discover a gigantic hole in a software program that made a plotter (giant printer) compatible with iOS. This caused a memory leak, leading to necessary resets of the computer after every 2 feet of printing.

I know that it’s not possible for most of you to just throw your devices away and buy a new one. I wouldn’t be able to do that, either. But eventually there will come a time when you have to upgrade, and I encourage you to take the plunge and purchase a non-apple device. I don’t even have a recommendation for you because literally anything is better than Apple. A rock that you write on is better than an Apple phone.

Unfortunately I expect to be shadow-banned on Apple devices because of this, and I’ll try to report on decreased activity as much as I can.

It’s time to stop trying to beg Apple to change. They won’t. It’s time now to just stop supporting Apple.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

When You Came In, the Air Went Out

A very(!) short True Blood AU ficlet for the wonderful people of the Stansa ship (including, but not limited to,@yourtommyginger,@sarahtheblack, @zip001, @thestansayacht)

Putting it here in the tumblr void for inspiration later on...

300 words without context, here we go:

He towered over her so very easily, crowding her against the massive desk he kept in his office. She had no choice but to bend backwards, feeling all kinds of awkward, and lift her chin to meet his fierce gaze. Dark blue eyes roamed her face, moving hungrily from her eyes to her mouth and back again.

The soft snickof descending fangs barely registered in her ears over the mad beat of her heart. He closed the last few inches between them, his cool forehead pressing against her heated one. If he were alive, if he were human, she would’ve surely felt his breath fanning across her cheek.

She shut her eyes, overwhelmed.

“If I meet the True Death without having at least kissed you, Sansa Stark,” he growled, and oh, Good Lord, no woman could feel the rumbling of his deep voice without going at least a little bit weak at the knee… “That would be my greatest regret.”

Her eyes snapped open. “Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye to me?”

He pulled back an inch, and she followed him instinctively, barely managing to remain upright. The side of his mouth twitched, the closest to a smile he ever got. His hands, large and strong and shockingly cold, cupped both her cheeks, steadying her.

“Because I am,” he admitted.

And then his mouth was on hers, harsh and relentless and desperate, and she had no choice but to surrender. There was no finesse to it, no skill, just the same raw, barely-restrained energy she’d sensed since the first time they’d met. Back then he’d been hiding it beneath a cold veneer of formality, which had only served to frighten her some more.

After all, Joff had warned her how dangerous the sheriff of Area Five was…

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

I’ve debated for a while about sharing this, but I think it’s important, and, to be fair, plenty of antis have shared the stories of their abuse.

So:

I support people creating romantic content similar to my abuse, even though that content contributed to my abuse.

Let me explain. I was very, very into Twilight when I was around 14. A couple years later a girl called me her lamb, and used the romanticization of jealousy and danger from that novel to excuse things like cutting me, stealing my phone, and demanding my passwords. Among other things. This continued until the end of high school, and it ripped apart every significant relationship in my life without anyone really realizing what was happening.

It’s definitely true that I didn’t recognize jealousy as abuse instead of romance. It’s true that I didn’t recognize “I love you” and “you can’t love anyone but me” as contradictions, and a part of that mentality came from the media I consumed. And she sure as fuck sent me fic - even forced me to write fic - which echoed those values. On a very base level, it is easy to blame my abuse on that fiction, on the unhealthy ideas of romance it gave me. For several years after getting out, I did blame romance like Twilight. I got angry when people I loved enjoyed it, and I thought I was protecting them by demanding that they stop.

But I was wrong.

Let me go out another level.

First of all, I grew up in a deeply homophobic town. There were exactly no adults in my life that I could have even told that I was in a relationship with a girl, let alone that I thought something was wrong. Abuse thrives in silence.

Second of all, I’d been homeschooled most of my life, which meant I had zero education on healthy relationships. I had no context outside of romance novels and fan fiction, which no adults knew I was reading. My view of romance was shaped by media because there were no other sources even trying to compete.

Third of all - and maybe this is most important - writing that fanfic, while in that situation, gave me a voice to things that I couldn’t even admit I was feeling. I wrote fic where a human loved a vampire, but they were scared, they were so scared, it felt like having a gun to their head all the time. They were so scared even as they loved the vampire, and they wanted them, and they wanted to help, and they wanted to be better. (She didn’t like that fic.) It took years before I would call what I experienced abuse, or seek out resources for victims. But fiction gave me a voice right then, when I needed one most.

Media didn’t get me abused. A society which failed utterly at telling me what a healthy relationship looked like got me abused. Parents and teachers and authority figures who were wildly homophobic got me abused. Fiction contributed, but if it wasn’t Twilight, it would have been something else - hell, apparently she repeated the same pattern after me with 50 Shades, and then with Captain America (somehow). Because above all, my abuser got me abused. She used fiction as a tool, but it could have been anything. If I hadn’t read Twilight, it would have been Johnlock, or Drarry, or Russia/America. All those things had more than enough content which portrayed danger and jealousy as sexy.

Do I still read Twilight? Fuck no, it’s a huge trigger. But I’ve stopped blaming it for what happened, because it was never Twilight’s job to teach me about romance. Nor was it fandom’s job to tell me, “if someone actually terrifies you, that’s dangerous, even if it’s sexy. If you love someone but they’re hurting you, you need help, not to try to fix them.” What hurt me most wasn’t fiction; it was the silence from every other quarter.

Media isn’t education on healthy relationships. It can’t be, and it never will be. “Fan fiction made me think that this was ok” means that there were no voices in our lives that we trusted more than fanfiction telling us that it wasn’t okay.

There will always be media that abusers can twist to make it look like what they’re doing is romantic and okay. Always. The abuse is still their fault, and the inability to counter harmful messages is the silence of society’s fault.

I’ll leave you with this: after I got out, I continued reading fic that featured jealousy and possessiveness as something hot. Because I did think it was hot; I now just knew firsthand that it was a kink to only be indulged in controlled situations. Firsthand experience is the harshest teacher, but it does work.

I just tag my own fic that features jealousy and possessiveness as “#abusive behavior.” Because if there is another girl like me out there, being sent these fics by her abuser, stuck in a situation she doesn’t understand - well, if it wasn’t my fic, it’d be someone else’s. The kink’s going to keep on existing. But maybe she’ll see the tag and figure something out.

Fiction is a tool, and taking one tool away won’t stop an abuser, because fiction isn’t causing abuse. If it wasn’t fiction, it’d be something else.

Stop blaming fiction for the actions of a cruel person, and the silence of the people who should have been protecting you.

It hurts to lay the blame at the feet of those you love, but if we deny the problems we will never fix them.

Be safe. Be kind.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

England has fallen.

RIP Una Stubbs.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

I gotta be up in 4 hrs it’s 4 am anyways heres some bran & arya. They are judging u. Shit talking. Gossiping. One might even say spilling the tea.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Your sailor nickname is [what color your shirt is] [your first pet’s name]. You are [phone battery percentage] years old. Your ship is the HMS [last thing you ate].

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Everybody here is mentioning the trainwreck that is Game of Thrones (and rightfully so),

But we all should take a moment to remember another major offender: GRRM dropped fAegon Targaryen out of the blue, because too many people were picking up on the whole "Jon is a Targaryen" thing. Goes to show you that even great writers make poor decisions when they read fan theories 🤷🏻‍♀️

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Will someone PLEASE let Netflix know men can be douches for reasons unrelated to their fathers? It got old real fast.

Also, while I sympathize with the whole "I want the rake who once broke my heart but now says he's reformed" dilemma (which is still toxic af, but psychologically understandable), the minute you run to aforementioned reformed rake and announce you will not be leaving your husband but still want him to fuck you? Congrats, you are officially, deliberately, the villain of the story.

Where can I get a refund for the hours I've spent watching this dumpster fire?

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Sansa in 8 for the color palette challenge? I absolutely love how you draw her!

Pretty girl in a pretty dress 🥰

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Chapters: 22/35 Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Stannis Baratheon/Sansa Stark, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, (minor/mostly platonic) Sansa Stark/Theon Greyjoy Characters: Stannis Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Ned Stark, Sansa Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark, Jon Snow, Bran Stark, Robb Stark, Arya Stark, Theon Greyjoy, Rickon Stark, Maester Cressen, Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Tyrion Lannister, Joffrey Baratheon, Loras Tyrell, Mace Tyrell, Rodrik Cassel, Benjen Stark, Daenerys Targaryen, Oberyn Martell, Doran Martell, Petyr Baelish, Lysa Tully Arryn, Brynden Tully, Varys (ASoIaF), Willem Darry, Hoster Tully, Brandon Stark, Maester Luwin, Rickard Stark, Beth Cassel, Jory Cassel, Syrio Forel, Cortnay Penrose Additional Tags: Older Man/Younger Woman, Alternate Universe, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Sexism, Queen in the North, King Stannis Baratheon, I Will Go Down With This Ship Series: Part 1 of A Different Lifetime Summary:

A young boy refuses to part with his goshawk. A secondborn daughter is born first, and named heir. The story has been told over and over throughout the different lifetimes. The Song of Ice and Fire. This time will not be very different from all the lifetimes which came before it. But it's different enough.

Or:

The Lord of Storm's End rides north with his brother and meets Lord Stark's young heir.

[lions-and-tigers-ohmy]

Me, the fanfic reader: I have approx. 300 subscriptions to WIPs on ao3. Why won't any of them update right this moment so I can continue feeding my addiction?

Also me, the fanfic writer: nope, ain't no way this new chapter will be up today. Just no.