lockhinge

[lockhinge]

"Am I going to dump a bunch more money after I've already received a bill for five hundred gold pieces, just so I can go to a party and magically pry into someone else's private business and ensure that my rival won't get what he wants? Yes."

- Bard (Chaotic Neutral)

[lockhinge]

Wizard: Well, you know where to find me if you want to talk, or if you just need a shoulder to— Bard: —Ruin my makeup on?

[lockhinge]

"I brought an indecisive amount of snacks!"

- Wizard being a team player

[lockhinge]

Bard: The best part of a masquerade party is the mask. You can hide raccoon-eyes behind those. Have a nice cry and slap that bad boy right back on. NPC: Wow, you're so good at this. Bard: I know a lot about a few things. Crying at parties is one of them.

[lockhinge]

"We need to open a portal to the grapefruit dimension!"

- Bard, during a very exciting brunch

[lockhinge]

"The two miss each other. Not emotionally–a connection is definitely made there–they just whiff their attacks."

- DM

[lockhinge]

DM: Someone splashes a drink in the Fighter's face for two points of tequila damage. Fighter: Agh! The salt!!

[lockhinge]

Cute Bartender: Hey, what can I get you? Bard: An Insight check, on the rocks.

[lockhinge]

Paladin: And remember, you said you wouldn't lie about things having to do with my old life anymore. Rogue's Player: ... Rogue's Player: I put down the Deception check I was about to make.

[lockhinge]

Player 1: Tasha's Mind Whip? Player 2: Yeah, she's got a couple whips. Player 1: And Tasha's Otherworldly Guise? Player 2: Yeah, she's got a couple guys too.

[lockhinge]

"Hi. I bought an Abyssal pillow while you were gone. You left me unsupervised."

- The Rogue/Bard multiclass

[lockhinge]

Bard: So, a lot of people in the Feywild seem to be trading things in exchange for the color of peoples' eyes. Do they actually use those eye colors, or is it like... more of a collectors item? Eladrin: Both? Bard: Oh! So it's like how we are with shoes. Eladrin: You people collect shoes? How many feet do you have??

[lockhinge]

“Everyone takes a seat. The rogue slumps down onto the ground. Your guide sits on a rock—which then gets up, insulted. The paladin sits on a bench... which also gets up, insulted."

- DM describes the Feywild

[lockhinge]

Rogue: Do they have puke-buckets here? I feel like I'm gonna throw up. NPC: Please. Might I remind you that you are still in a palace? Rogue: Oh, uh... I mean... do they have gem-encrusted puke-buckets here?

[lockhinge]

NPC: I'm afraid I don't know what game we're playing... Paladin: It's like a cross between Poker and Go Fish. Rogue: We call it Poke Fish.

[lockhinge]

"You did, in fact, beat his DC 25 Bullying check."

- DM

[lockhinge]

"I was going to say, 'I'd do anything for a massage', but that may be a binding contract here in the Feywild."

- A Clever Rogue