#garbage rogue
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lockhinge · 16 days ago
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Rogue: Do they have puke-buckets here? I feel like I'm gonna throw up. NPC: Please. Might I remind you that you are still in a palace? Rogue: Oh, uh... I mean... do they have gem-encrusted puke-buckets here?
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lee-mon-grab · 12 days ago
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I drew Heinrix with the Rogue Trader yet again! This time in a more... private setting.
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jihef03 · 9 months ago
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Burlap-man with grandma shotgun
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laswells-ashtray · 5 months ago
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Muuuuuum, rogue weapon!Valeria, if you do the lovely lady, and the way no ones there to hold her back. No one's there to dial her in. No one, to tell her no.
They don't realise the weapon is missing. They don't have the time to do so because she lets them know when her handler's head is found on the doorstep of their organisation.
His eyes are stitched open, he's smiling. So is she when they encounter the security footage of her leaving him there. They never encounter the rest of him.
In the weeks that follow, the cartel in Las Almas takes a hit, gang wars erupt between groups trying to claim their place amongst the big leagues and it seems there's always a crowd dawning black, lowering a box into a six-foot pit.
El Sin Nombre gains a following, a mere spirit rather than an identity. No man can put a face to the nameless.
And Valeria explores the concept of freedom with no handler to point her in one direction.
Her outfit is destined to be burned, there's no saving it despite how much she enjoyed the soft comfort of the shirt. She's dripping blood and pericardial fluid onto the concrete below her. Distantly she hears one of her men retching behind her, he'll be the one left to clean the less.
Vomit, piss and blood. Three things she never had time for scrubbing off of the floor.
Her eyes gaze over the dead man with a faintly impressed look, she was lethal without a collar tightening around her neck.
The grotesque, cavernous mess of the man's torso took hours to achieve. There was a message to be found in the way his intestines unravelled from where they had been so tightly packed, the smell of charred flesh lingered around his skin. It was enough to cover the faint scent of urine clinging to the man's damp trousers.
His heart had been sloppily removed, torn from the roots that ground it to his chest and torched before being carefully placed back inside of his chest. It had been a fall risk before she had pinned it with one of her knives, sawing a ribcage into pieces meant a human's innards had a habit of falling loose.
He'd been dead for hours, his pulse had faded sometime after the flaying had started. It was a little disappointing but the goal was the warning, not the scare. There were few ways to properly ensure your people knew what happened to snitches, she had found that creating a cavity of charred tissue and dried blood in a man's chest before hanging him up in one of her warehouses was often effective.
Sweat clung to the back of her neck, her hair damp with it and there was a thick layer of sticky maroon coating her every available inch of skin. The tattoos she had spent so long sitting for, gaining an identity under the needle, were smothered by the blood. Her limbs ached, a telltale sign of how much time had been spent on such strenuous activity.
Torturing a man was child's play, tearing open his chest and searing his vital organs required a little more effort.
She offers her nails a quick glance, they're torn and bloody. She'd have to fix them after she had scrubbed herself clean, they should be well-kept. She should be well-kept.
She's no longer the animal they caged her as, she's someone who enjoys painting her nails the same colour as the hilt of her favourite knife. She's a woman who cuts her own hair and likes to watch it curl as it dries.
She's a woman who no longer has a hand pulling her back when she goes through for the throat. She's a woman who sinks her teeth in and ravages the body that her mouth is clamped around.
She's a woman who's going to paint her nails green later after she brushes the particles of bones out from under them.
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mecha--maniac · 4 months ago
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Y'ever think about the Metal Sonic dialogue in Sonic Heroes and how he says stuff like 'See me as I am, no longer afraid of anything!'
So like,,, Metal was afraid before?? Presumably of either a lot of stuff or of Sonic/his friends, which would be reasonable given how often he's been destroyed by them.
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coginthemachine · 10 months ago
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so the game Marathon (1994) has had a web page full of lore, quotes, and discussions about the game going for 29 fucking years now - this page was basically a proto-wiki/fandom/tumblr page before that shit even existed, and i've been reading it since I was a literal child.
it's incredibly cool to look at the record of the page's evolution - the stuff from the 90s is essentially emails from fans compiled on a geocities page, turning into more modernly-recognizable wordpress/tumblr sorta thing over time.
in any case it makes me so goddamn happy that a fairly obscure game like Marathon(that nonetheless was a major inspiration for one of the most popular games of all time, Halo) still has a bunch of people who love it enough to maintain this record. Bungie as a company may have fallen incredibly hard but i'll always be thankful to their OGs who made such kickass shit back in the day.
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friendsofabracadaver · 1 year ago
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I watched the gameplay trailer. I told myself I wasn't going to get too excited.... I failed.
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catschimericalcreations · 3 months ago
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Trashcan Bandit the Urban Dustbin Scavenger is Five Years Old Today!
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Like what I do? Please consider supporting me with a donation on Ko-Fi.com/catschimericalcreations
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banjodroid · 1 year ago
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damnatvs · 1 year ago
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seven devils all around you seven devils in your house see, i was dead when i woke up this morning i'll be dead before the day is done
endless edits by peach - part two / ∞
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lockhinge · 10 months ago
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"I like my eggs hard boiled. You can shove like eight of those bad boys in your pockets. And if they're still warm? You got yourself a nice little hand warmer."
- Remmy, half-dragon rogue
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bobby-the-queer-artist · 2 years ago
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HEY HEY HEY HEY
@stars-may-collide
@all those other people who reblogged the post where I said there were no MR the musical animatics
I MADE ONE
youtube
feat. nightmare fingers and swooshy hair
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lv-tangle-universe-blog · 7 months ago
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I think I would like to share a little thing about spiral. Since they eat souls and kind of stuck in a place without many people in it, they tend to starve to death over and over again, until one day a strange platypus just appears... You can just figure this place is just some form of fourth void hell... Starline is not having fun getting chased around by a smoking freight train after their soul, downright, having trouble navigating this strange scattered place, trying to find things to make his situation a little more bearable...
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solxamber · 5 months ago
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Trash Novel Chronicles: I Don't Want the Heroine || Ruggie Bucchi
You get isekai’d into what could only be described as an affront to literature, as the second male lead.
So you decide to cut all ties with the heroine and live a peaceful (wealthy) life with your secretary, Ruggie Bucchi. Except life doesn't go as planned as you get more chaos than you signed up for
Series Masterlist
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You knew you were in for a ride the moment your so-called "friends" forced you to read the lowest-rated web novel of the year as punishment for losing a bet. And not just any bad web novel—no, this was the Mount Everest of literary disasters. A true champion of trash.
Some reviews said their IQ points dropped by atleast 20 points. Others swore their vision blurred after reading it. One particularly scathing reviewer said, “This book is responsible for my grandma’s untimely passing. She read it and gave up on life.”
So, armed with a drink (or three), you settled in to read. And oh, you were not ready.
The heroine is engaged to the Second Male Lead, a duke with infinite money, charisma, and love to give. He’s the human equivalent of a weighted blanket. And what does she do? She cheats on him with the Male Lead, Duke of the North, who is basically a human icicle.
The Male Lead, by the way, has the personality of a damp rock. His dialogue alternates between monosyllabic grunts and poetic nonsense like, “You remind me of a cloudy winter’s moon.” Sir, what does that even mean?
The villainess? Not even a villainess. Just the duke’s childhood best friend, who’s labeled as "mean to the heroine" because she has the audacity to call out her cheating. Somehow, this makes her evil.
Then there’s the business subplot. The heroine convinces the Second Male Lead to invest in a clearly terrible idea. He pours his entire fortune into it because she fluttered her eyelashes at him, and surprise, it fails. He loses his estate, his reputation, everything.
And does she apologize? Nope. She runs off with the Male Lead to frolic in snowy landscapes while the Second Male Lead becomes a “villain” and, of course, dies tragically.
And Ruggie. Poor, loyal Ruggie. The second male lead believed in him, gave him a job, and supported his family. Ruggie sticks by him until the bitter end, only to die too because this author hates happiness.
You finish the book in stunned silence. “What the actual hell?” you whisper, clutching your head. “Who gave this author access to the internet? Who greenlit this abomination?”
You need to breathe. You grab your coat and storm outside, still ranting under your breath. “If I ever meet the author of this garbage, I’m fighting them on sight. This is a hate crime. This book probably caused global warming. It—”
Suddenly, there’s a low rumble. You glance up, and your blood runs cold.
It’s a rogue truck. Carrying a full mariachi band. And it’s heading straight for you.
“Are you serious right now?” you shout at the universe.
The last thing you hear is a trumpet playing a very off-key version of Despacito before impact.
Your final thought as darkness takes you: I better not get isekai’d.
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You wake up in an unfamiliar room, and for a blissful, fleeting moment, you think, Maybe the mariachi band killed me for good. Maybe I'm in heaven.
But then you see the gilded furniture, the obnoxiously large bed, and a wardrobe so stuffed with capes that you feel personally attacked. The truth hits you like a slap in the face: I got isekai’d. Of course. Because the universe hates me.
Then, you see the mirror. And what stares back at you isn’t your face. Oh no. It’s his face. The face of the poor, tragic Second Male Lead. The man destined to be scammed, betrayed, and emotionally wrecked by the most obnoxious heroine in existence.
You scream internally. Then externally. For a while.
You stumble out of the room, still in a haze of existential despair, and there’s Ruggie. Your loyal secretary, who looks like he’s had years shaved off his lifespan dealing with this nonsense.
“Good morning, boss.” Ruggie says, giving you a half-smirk. “Heroine’s asking about that investment again. You wanna reconsider?”
“Yes,” you say immediately. “Cancel it. Pull out everything.”
Ruggie freezes. “Everything?”
“Everything,” you repeat. Then, because you’re feeling generous (and also guilt-ridden because you know what’s coming for this man), you add, “Take 20% for yourself and your grandma. Put the rest back in the bank.”
Ruggie’s jaw drops. “You serious?”
“Dead serious.”
He stares at you for a second, then breaks into a grin so wide it could blind the sun. “Finally! I’ve been waiting years for you to wake up!”
Next, you sit down to write.
The first letter is to the heroine’s family: Dear Sirs, I regret to inform you that I am breaking off the engagement with your daughter, as she has the personality of a wet towel. Kind regards, Duke Idiot.
The second letter is to the Emperor: Your Imperial Majesty, please annul my engagement before I have a nervous breakdown. I am begging you. Also, I can bake cookies. Let me know if you’d like some. Yours in desperation, Duke Idiot.
By the time you’re done, you’re sweating, but it’s a cathartic kind of sweat. The kind that comes from breaking free of your chains—or in this case, an incredibly stupid plot.
Ruggie walks back in, still riding the high of not having to bankroll the heroine’s disastrous ideas. “What’s with the letters?”
“I’m saving myself,” you say dramatically.
He snorts. “Took you long enough.”
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The first thing you do after finishing your letters is write one more—to the villainess.
It’s short and to the point: Come over. ASAP. I’m done enabling the heroine. Engagement's over.
When she arrives, it’s with the energy of someone who just won the lottery. She squeals, shakes you so hard you see stars, and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. “FINALLY! You’ve woken up from the dumbest coma in history!”
You’re rubbing your temples and trying not to pass out from the intensity. “Yeah, yeah, thanks. Now stop shaking me or I’m going to puke on these ridiculously expensive boots.”
She laughs, but finally lets go, sitting across from you as you explain your plan to stop everything from becoming an unhinged dumpster fire. You’re mid-sentence when it happens.
First, the door bursts open, and the heroine comes storming in like a banshee, crying, screaming, and flailing.
“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” she shrieks, tears flowing down her cheeks like she’s auditioning for a telenovela.
“Do what?” you deadpan. “Not ruin my life for you? Sorry, I’m on a self-care journey.”
Before she can retort, there’s a second, even louder commotion. You look up, and it’s the Emperor himself. The actual Emperor.
“Oh, wonderful,” you mutter.
The Emperor strides in, looking equal parts amused and concerned. “I heard about your engagement breaking off. Thought you might’ve been possessed. I had to see this circus for myself.”
He’s barely seated when—because the universe hates you—the heroine drags in him: the Male Lead, aka the Duke of the North, aka Brick-Wall-With-a-Sword.
“This is unfair,” the heroine sobs, dramatically clutching the Male Lead’s arm. “He can’t do this to me! You’ll defend me, won’t you?”
The Duke grunts like a sentient tree stump. You guess that’s his version of “yes.”
What happens next is a symphony of chaos.
The heroine screams about betrayal. The Duke grunts out periodic agreements, like a caveman backup singer. The villainess is shrieking threats of peeling their skin off and making it into a fashionable handbag. You’re yelling at everyone to shut up, but no one listens.
Meanwhile, Ruggie peeks in, takes one look at the situation, and immediately decides he’s not paid enough for this. But, because he’s Ruggie, he grabs tea and cookies for the Emperor, who is thriving.
The Emperor pats the seat next to him. “Ruggie, my boy, sit. This is better than court drama. I wish the Empress could see this.”
They sip tea and munch on cookies while you slowly lose your mind.
Finally, you manage to silence the room. You glare at the heroine, who’s still sniffling like you personally ripped up her diary.
“It’s not your choice,” you say flatly. “I don’t like you anymore. Get over it.”
Her jaw drops. The Duke of the North lets out an indignant grunt.
You turn to him. “And you. Take her and leave before I dump water on her and she melts like the wicked witch she is.”
The villainess, not one to miss a petty opportunity, sticks her tongue out at them. You don’t stop her.
The Emperor finally finishes cackling and waves a hand. “Alright, alright. Annulment granted. Good luck cleaning up this mess.”
You turn to Ruggie, and without a word, you both high-five. It’s a perfect, satisfying smack.
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The first thing you do after all the chaos is roll up your sleeves and confront the mess that was once "your" beautiful mansion. It’s cluttered with an assortment of hideous gowns, gaudy trinkets, and utterly pointless items the heroine insisted you buy.
A gold fan catches your eye—not because you like it, but because Ruggie is staring at it with the intensity of a starving man at a buffet.
“Take it,” you sigh, fondly exasperated.
Ruggie lights up like you’ve just handed him a winning lottery ticket. He mock salutes you and declares, “My eternal loyalty to you, my lord!” with the kind of dramatic flair that would make the villainess proud.
You almost laugh, but then you remember how fiercely loyal he is. You soften, ruffle his hair, and say, “Just promise me, if you ever get the chance, you’ll run for the hills.”
He frowns, mock offended. “What? And leave your kitchen un-raided? Never! You’re stuck with me.”
Your smile grows wider as you shake your head. “Fine, fine. Stay, then. But only if you keep making coffee the way I like.”
Later, as you’re tossing a truly horrifying pink lace monstrosity into the donation pile, the villainess strolls in like she owns the place.
“You know,” she says, eyeing the mess with an amused smirk, “we should throw a party.”
“A party?” you echo, already suspicious.
“Yes, a party!” she pauses, a wicked gleam in her eye, “To celebrate your freedom from Miss Overinflated Ego and her personal brick wall.”
You bark out a laugh, unable to help yourself. “You know what? Why not? Let’s celebrate. I deserve it.”
The villainess claps her hands in delight. “Perfect! I’ll handle the guest list.”
And, because she’s the villainess and can’t resist stirring the pot, she makes sure to send invitations to everyone: the heroine, the male lead, the Emperor, the Empress, and even the crown prince and the princess.
“It’s always nice to add a dash of drama,” she says, looking entirely too pleased with herself.
You just shake your head. “You’re unhinged, you know that?”
“And you’re just figuring this out?” she quips, already halfway out the door.
As she leaves, you sigh and glance at Ruggie, who’s now holding an ornate vase like he’s trying to figure out if it’s worth pawning.
“This party’s going to be a disaster, isn’t it?”
Ruggie grins. “Oh, absolutely. But hey, at least it’ll be entertaining.”
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The rustling in the dead of night was faint, almost like the sound of a guilty conscience, but louder and significantly more annoying. Naturally, you reached for your sword, because what kind of noble sleeps without a weapon under their pillow? Amateurs, that’s who.
Tiptoeing through your dark mansion, you followed the suspicious noise, squinting in confusion as it led you... to the kitchen. The kitchen. Not the vaults, not the study with all the expensive heirlooms, but the place where snacks lived.
You paused in disbelief. Who the hell raids a kitchen? Am I getting robbed by a starving possum?
Creeping closer, you peered around the doorframe, sword raised and ready for battle, only to find—
“Ruggie,” you said flatly, and he jumped so hard he nearly hit the ceiling.
“GAH—! Don’t sneak up on people with a sword, you psychopath!” he yelped, clutching his chest like he was the victim here.
“I wasn’t sneaking, you were sneaking! In my kitchen!” you shot back, lowering your weapon.
Ruggie froze mid-cookie bite, looking every bit like a raccoon caught rifling through a trash can. “...Uh, you weren’t using this stuff?” he said, gesturing at the counter full of pilfered baked goods.
You rolled your eyes and plopped onto the floor next to him, plucking the cookie right out of his hand and taking a bite. “Well, I’m using it now.”
“Hey! That’s mine!” he protested, clutching the rest of his stash protectively.
“Is it, though? Is it really?” you countered, grinning as you chewed. He gasped dramatically, as if you’d just insulted his entire bloodline.
“Wow. Unbelievable. First you almost skewer me like I’m some thief in the night—”
“You are a thief in the night.”
“—and now you’re stealing my snacks?! You’re a menace.”
You laughed, getting up to grab some milk, because who raids a kitchen at 2 a.m. and doesn’t have milk with their cookies? While your back was turned, Ruggie sat there blinking, flustered as hell.
He’d been expecting a lecture, or at least some sarcastic comment about his “hyena instincts,” but you’d just… joined him. Like it was normal. Like you hadn’t caught him mid-cookie heist.
When you returned with two glasses of milk, you sat back down and offered him one. “You could’ve just asked, you know. I would’ve had the cook make you something.”
Ruggie stared at the glass, then at you, his ears twitching slightly. “...Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” he said with a grin, but it lacked his usual confidence.
“Fair enough,” you said, leaning back against the counter with a sigh. The two of you sat there in companionable silence, munching on cookies like a pair of delinquents at a midnight picnic.
And while you were busy enjoying your snack, Ruggie was busy trying not to spontaneously combust. The way you were so chill about catching him red-handed, the way you shared your stolen spoils without a second thought—it wasn’t fair. You treated him like an equal, like a friend, and he liked it far more than he should.
Later, when you finally left, yawning and telling him to “try not to eat the entire kitchen,” Ruggie just sat there for a while, staring at the empty glass of milk like it had all the answers.
He was doomed. So, so doomed.
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The state of your estate’s finances is beyond a joke—it’s a full-blown circus, complete with clown shoes and a unicycle on fire. You’re sitting at your desk late into the night with Ruggie by your side, trying to untangle the mess left behind by the original second male lead’s truly impressive levels of idiocy.
“Why,” you groan, slamming your head onto the table, “is 12% of the regional budget allocated to the heroine’s imported perfume?”
Ruggie snorts, peeking over your shoulder at the ledger. “Wait, what? Oh, no, this gets better. Look here—3% for ‘heroine’s nails.’”
You stare at him, unblinking, as your soul slowly leaves your body. “Her. Nails.”
“Oh, but my favorite,” Ruggie says, barely suppressing his laughter, “is this one: monthly support sent to the male lead’s territory. Why? The man’s got a literal fortress of gold up north. What kind of simp were you?”
“A professional simp,” you reply dryly, shaking your head in disgust. “I’m cutting all of this. Every last drop. No more perfume fund, no more nail allowance, and definitely no more donations to the male lead’s Scrooge McDuck vault.”
By the time you’re done, the heroine’s absurd luxuries have been replaced with something actually useful. The funds are reallocated to schools for commoners, infrastructure, and most importantly, your own staff.
When you announce the changes, the staff look at you like you’ve descended from the heavens. One of the maids starts tearing up when she hears about her raise. The head butler—usually so reserved—bows so deeply you think his back might give out.
You should feel accomplished, but the ledger on your desk is still screaming chaos incarnate, and you’re barely halfway through.
It’s nearly midnight when Ruggie silently slides a cup of coffee onto the desk in front of you. He pats your shoulder, his usual teasing smile replaced with something softer.
“You’re doing good, boss,” he says quietly, almost like he’s trying not to spook you.
You’re too sleep-deprived to respond with your usual wit. Instead, you lean into his touch without thinking, resting your head against his side. Your arms wrap around his middle in a tired hug.
Ruggie freezes, a hand hovering awkwardly over your head like he’s not sure what to do. After a moment, he gives in, patting your head gently.
“You okay there?” he asks, voice tinged with a rare gentleness.
“Exhausted,” you mumble, not bothering to move.
You don’t notice the way Ruggie’s ears twitch, or how his grin softens into something almost shy.
“Well, get some rest when you can,” he murmurs, still patting your head like he’s afraid to stop.
You don’t see it, but he looks utterly smitten, like you’ve just handed him the world on a silver platter.
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It’s supposed to be a quick shopping trip—in and out, you told yourself. Just something small to thank Ruggie for all his hard work. You’re scanning the shelves, debating between a sleek gold pen and a bottle of spiced honey, when you hear a low, amused voice behind you.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the drama queen himself.”
You turn to find Leona, Grand Duke of Sleep Deprivation, lounging against the nearest shelf like he’s modeling for a Royalty Weekly cover.
“Leona,” you say. “What are you doing here? Buying Cheka another excuse to follow you around?”
He scoffs. “As if. I’m just here for—” He pauses, like he can’t bring himself to admit the truth. “…Supplies.”
“Supplies?” you echo, grinning. “You mean you’re buying Cheka a treat because you’re a softie and love him?”
Leona glares, but his cheeks betray him by flushing. “Keep running your mouth and see what happens.”
You laugh, elbowing him lightly. “Relax, I think it’s cute. A Grand Duke doting on his nephew? Adorable.”
You bumped into Jack not long after, and the three of you somehow ended up making a day of it, wandering between stalls and laughing at Leona’s muttered commentary about overpriced trinkets and Jack’s earnest attempts to justify why buying locally was a good investment.
Then you saw it—a brooch glinting in the sunlight, its design simple yet elegant. It wasn’t flashy, but it reminded you of Ruggie—sharp, understated, and unexpectedly striking. Without hesitation, you bought it.
By the time you returned to your estate and handed the gift to Ruggie, you were grinning ear to ear, excited to see his reaction. He unwrapped it carefully, his eyes widening as he held the brooch up to the light.
“This… is for me?” he asked, his voice unusually soft.
“Of course,” you said, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. “You’ve done so much. It’s just a small thank-you.”
Ruggie turned the brooch over in his hands before looking back at you. “Can you… pin it on me?”
You blinked. “Uh, sure.”
You moved closer, carefully attaching the brooch to his lapel while hyper-focusing on not stabbing your fingers. Meanwhile, Ruggie was not focused on the brooch.
No, his attention was entirely on you—on the way your brows furrowed in concentration, the way your lips pursed slightly as you worked. His chest felt tight, and he was starting to wonder if this was what it felt like to lose all sense of self-preservation.
You finally stepped back, admiring your handiwork. “There. Looks good.”
Ruggie just nodded, his throat too dry to say anything coherent. He could still feel the ghost of your touch against his chest, and it was taking everything in him not to burst into flames on the spot.
You didn’t notice his predicament, thankfully. “Well, back to work,” you said brightly, walking off.
As soon as you were out of sight, Ruggie let out a shaky breath and muttered to himself, “I’m so doomed.”
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The villainess was already three glasses of wine in and laughing so hard at her own audacity, she could barely stand. “A rented lion!” she cackled, pointing dramatically at the majestic creature pacing near the garden fountains. “For the aesthetic!”
You, on the other hand, were seriously contemplating your life choices. The massive banner that screamed INDEPENDENCE DAY was hanging crookedly over the ballroom, and the air was thick with the unmistakable aroma of petty vengeance.
“I can’t believe you actually rented a lion,” you muttered, rubbing your temples.
“Oh, please,” the villainess scoffed, swirling her wine like she was the protagonist of a soap opera. “This is art. You think I’m going to let those clowns think they’ve won?”
To her credit, the guests were loving it. The Emperor himself had already burst into laughter upon arrival and was gleefully elbowing the Empress, who seemed equally entertained. The Crown Prince looked ready to dig his own grave, while the Princess had stationed herself with a perfect view, sipping wine and munching on what you suspected was popcorn.
Things were going well. Too well.
The heroine and her brick wall—er, male lead—were nowhere in sight, and for the first time in your newly isekai’d existence, you allowed yourself to relax. You leaned against the wine table, sipping from your glass while watching Ruggie shamelessly stuff his pockets with sweets.
“You know, I would save you some for later,” you began, raising a brow, “at this rate, you’re going to look like a human vending machine.”
Ruggie grinned, unapologetic. “Hey, free food’s free food. You’re lucky I haven’t swiped the centerpiece yet.”
You were about to retort when the sound of clicking heels sent a chill down your spine.
The heroine had arrived.
And, oh. Oh no.
She was wearing a dress so hideous, it was almost a work of art—a monstrous blend of every fashion crime known to mankind. Glitter? Check. Feathers? Double check. A color palette that looked like someone microwaved a rainbow? You bet.
Trailing behind her was the male lead, as stoic and emotionless as ever. You half-expected someone to prop a potted plant next to him just to see if anyone could tell the difference.
The heroine took one look at the massive INDEPENDENCE DAY banner and visibly trembled with rage. For a second, you thought she was going to scream, but instead, she plastered on a disturbingly sweet smile and marched straight over to you.
“Good evening,” she greeted, her voice dripping with false politeness.
You stared at her, torn between running for your life and bursting out laughing. Before you could respond, you caught sight of the Emperor out of the corner of your eye. He was openly pointing at you now, whispering something to the Empress, who was struggling to contain her laughter.
The villainess chose this exact moment to loudly announce, “Thank you all for coming to celebrate the Duke's independence from the worst fate in history!”
The heroine’s smile twitched. You swore you heard her teeth crack under the pressure.
You were just starting to think you might survive the evening when it happened.
The male lead, previously silent, suddenly stomped forward, grabbed a glove from his pocket, and chucked it square at your face.
“Are you kidding me?” you blurted, rubbing your nose.
“I challenge you to a duel,” he growled, his first full sentence of the night.
The room went silent. Somewhere in the back, the Emperor let out a delighted laugh. The villainess looked ready to commit several felonies.
“Oh my God,” you muttered, face-palming. “I guess I have to do it now.”
As the ballroom descended into chaos, Ruggie shot you a glare that could’ve melted steel.
“You better not get hurt,” he hissed under his breath, clinging to your sleeve like a particularly annoyed cat. “I swear, if you let that walking brick wall land even one hit on you—”
“Relax, Ruggie,” you said, patting his hand. “Not only will I win, I’ll make him crawl back and return every penny I sent to his estate.”
Ruggie didn’t look convinced, but he let go, muttering something about how this whole thing was “stupid as hell.”
What you didn’t see was the way his eyes softened as he watched you step forward, or how his hands clenched into fists as the male lead unsheathed his sword.
All Ruggie knew was that he hated this—hated the way the heroine acted like she still owned you, hated the way the male lead had the audacity to challenge you, and most of all, hated the knot of fear twisting in his chest.
He refused to think about why.
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The moment the male lead flung his glove at you, the atmosphere in the ballroom turned tense with excitement—or in the Emperor’s case, barely restrained glee. But just as you were resigning yourself to this absurd duel, Leona sauntered over, looking as though this entire situation was a personal insult to his time.
“Real swords? For this?” Leona gestured lazily at the male lead, his lip curling in a smirk. “You’re wasting everyone’s energy. Let’s not pretend this is anything more than a glorified temper tantrum.”
The male lead bristled but didn’t dare argue against the Grand Duke. “Then… wooden swords, if you insist,” he muttered, trying to maintain some shred of dignity.
You tried to stifle a laugh as Leona smirked and clapped you on the shoulder. “You’re welcome, herbivore. Try not to embarrass yourself.”
By the time you all reached the garden, the tension had more or less deflated, and the Emperor had officially declared this the greatest event of the year. He was lounging on a cushioned seat with a glass of wine, while the Princess had claimed the spot next to him, now munching on a small pie she’d somehow procured.
The male lead, as always, had the charisma of a doorstop, stomping forward with all the grace of a falling tree. You picked up your wooden sword, internally thanking the heavens that Leona had stepped in because you weren’t in the mood to lose a limb for someone this dumb.
But just as the male lead was taking his place, he suddenly slipped.
There was a resounding thud as he fell face-first onto the ground.
“...No way,” you muttered, blinking in disbelief.
The heroine shrieked, rushing to his side. “My love! Are you hurt? Speak to me!”
He didn’t. Because the man fainted. From falling.
You froze, staring at the unmoving figure on the ground. The villainess was trying—and failing—not to burst into hysterics, while Leona let out a bark of laughter so loud it startled the lion still lounging by the fountain.
“Seriously?” you said aloud, half to yourself, half to the universe. You weren’t sure if you were horrified, embarrassed, or just... done.
You crouched down to help the heroine lift the unconscious man, despite every fiber of your being screaming not to. “Fine,” you grumbled. “Let’s get him to the carriage.”
As you heaved him up, you happened to catch a glimpse of Ruggie, standing casually by the garden path with his arms crossed. He had an innocent expression on his face—too innocent. And then, just as the heroine fussed over her fainted fiancé, you saw it: Ruggie’s foot subtly nudging a small marble out of sight, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
You froze mid-step.
“...Ruggie.”
He blinked at you, all wide-eyed innocence. “Yeah, boss?”
“You didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?”
You sighed, shaking your head as you loaded the male lead into the carriage with the heroine trailing after him. When you turned back, Ruggie was grinning like the cat that ate the canary.
Once you were out of earshot of the heroine, you flicked him on the forehead.
“Oi!” he yelped, rubbing the spot with a pout. “What was that for?”
“Don’t play dumb,” you said, crossing your arms. “Why’d you do it?”
Ruggie grinned again, completely unapologetic. “Well, I am your right-hand man, aren’t I? Gotta look out for you.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “One day, your schemes are going to get us both killed.”
“Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “But it’s a small price to pay for seeing that guy face-plant into the dirt.”
You couldn’t help it—you laughed, shaking your head as you waved him off. “Fine. Just… no more schemes, okay?”
“No promises, boss.”
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The morning was unnervingly quiet. No bustling sounds of Ruggie banging on your door, no sly remarks about how you were sleeping in like royalty—just silence. For a moment, you wondered if you were dreaming.
It wasn’t until you asked the head butler about his whereabouts that the unsettling calm made sense.
“He is unwell,” the butler said with a somber tone. “He has a fever and requested the day off to rest.”
Ruggie… sick? Something about that didn’t sit right with you.
You found yourself standing in front of his door with a tray of soup in hand. The thought of someone as vibrant and energetic as Ruggie being bedridden made your chest ache in a way you weren’t ready to address. With a deep breath, you pushed the door open.
Ruggie looked wrecked. His usually sharp eyes were glazed over, and his hair was messier than usual, plastered to his forehead with sweat. His gaze met yours hazily, and the way his lips curled into the faintest semblance of a smile sent a pang through your chest.
“Boss?” he croaked out, voice scratchy.
You didn’t answer right away, just moving to his bedside and placing the tray on the table. “You look terrible,” you said softly, helping him sit up. “Eat this.”
It took some coaxing, but eventually, he let you spoon-feed him. He was quiet for once, too tired to banter, but the way he leaned into your touch as you adjusted his blanket spoke volumes.
When the soup was finished, you fussed over him—checking his temperature, brushing his hair out of his face, making sure he was comfortable.
And then, without warning, Ruggie slumped forward, his head resting on your shoulder. You stiffened in surprise, but before you could ask if he was okay, his hand gripped your sleeve weakly.
“Don’t go,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper. His words were slurred with exhaustion, but there was a vulnerability in them that made your heart clench.
You didn’t have the heart to refuse. Carefully, you adjusted him so he was lying more comfortably, his head still resting against your shoulder as you held him close.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered into his ear, voice softer than you thought yourself capable of. “Not until you want me to.”
When Ruggie woke up in the evening, the first thing he noticed was that he was warm and oddly comfortable. The second thing he noticed was you.
You were still holding him, sitting beside him with your back against the headboard. Your eyes were closed, head tilted slightly, but it was clear you hadn’t left his side.
Ruggie’s face turned an impressive shade of red as he tried to process the fact that it wasn’t a fever dream. He had clung to you, and you had stayed.
You stirred as he moved slightly, your eyes fluttering open. “You’re awake,” you said, voice soft and laced with sleep. “Feeling better?”
Ruggie nodded, his cheeks still burning. “Yeah… uh, thanks for… y’know. All this.”
You smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. “It’s nothing. Just… don’t get used to it, okay?”
He let out a weak chuckle, though his heart was racing. “Right. Won’t happen again.”
You stood up, suddenly eager to escape the room. “Rest up,” you said, heading for the door. “Don’t make me come back.”
As soon as the door shut behind you, Ruggie buried his face in his hands, groaning. He could still feel the warmth of your touch, still hear the soft way you’d whispered that you’d stay as long as he wanted. His heart wouldn’t stop pounding, and he didn’t know what to do with the newfound realization that he was in way too deep.
Meanwhile, you were in your own room, face buried in your pillow as you screamed silently. Your heart was fluttering uncontrollably, and you couldn’t stop thinking about how warm he felt against you, or the way he’d looked at you so trustingly.
“What was that?” you mumbled into your pillow, kicking your legs in frustration. “What is this? Why does it feel like this?”
The questions swirled in your mind, unresolved, until you eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion, still clutching your pillow like it could answer the million questions in your heart.
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The aftermath of The Incident—as you had now dubbed it in the privacy of your screaming brain—was unbearable. If you thought working with Ruggie before had its awkward moments (like the time you accidentally said, “Goodnight, love you,” at the end of a meeting), it was nothing compared to the soul-crushing embarrassment you now lived in.
The atmosphere between you and Ruggie had changed. It wasn’t just awkward—it was the kind of awkward that could suffocate an entire room. If awkwardness could be weaponized, you and Ruggie would have already leveled three kingdoms.
Every time his hand brushed yours when passing papers, your brain short-circuited like a faulty crystal ball. Every time he brought you coffee, your chest felt warm and fuzzy, and not in the “cozy” way, but in the “I think I’m having a heart attack” way.
Just being in the same room as him turned your once-functional body into a mess of sweaty palms and wildly beating heartbeats. When did the genre of this book change from fantasy to survival horror?
And Ruggie? Oh, he wasn’t doing any better. In fact, he might have been worse.
This man had survived the slums, terrifying loan sharks, and whatever unholy concoction the heroine called “breakfast,” but this? This was a new level of torment. Every time you smiled at him, he wanted to kiss you so badly he thought his brain might explode.
Every time you thanked him for doing something as basic as his job, he had to clench his fists to stop himself from blurting out, “Marry me right now, I’ll sign a prenup, I don’t care.”
The worst part? He knew this was a one-way ticket to Heartbreak City. You were a duke—practically royalty. He was… a secretary. A secretary with zero noble lineage and a past so humble it made the word “humble” look luxurious.
His job description did not include being in love with his employer, and yet, here he was, a walking violation of the workplace etiquette handbook.
So, Ruggie pined. He pined so hard it was a miracle he hadn’t sprouted roots. He burned quietly, like a cheap candle from a market stall that melted down into a pathetic puddle of wax.
And you? You weren’t doing much better. Every night, you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and whisper-yelling at yourself. “Why am I like this? Why is he like this? What is happening to me? Am I dying?”
Ruggie, on the other hand, stayed awake at night dramatically sighing into his pillow. “Stop looking at me like that,” he whispered to no one in particular, clutching the imaginary vision of your face. “You don’t even know what you’re doing to me.”
The tension was so thick that even the staff noticed. The head butler had started placing bets with the gardener and the knights about who would crack first. The maids whispered conspiratorially about how long it would take before the Duke accidentally proposed during a budget meeting. The chef had taken to leaving heart-shaped biscuits in the break room just to mess with you both.
You both thought you were suffering in silence.
You weren’t.
Everyone knew. Everyone knew. And everyone was waiting for the day this slow-burn disaster finally combusted.
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The garden party had started so peacefully. You’d been standing off to the side, sipping on juice and chatting with Jack and Leona, trying to ignore the usual nonsense that came with these noble gatherings. For a blissful five minutes, everything was… fine.
And then chaos erupted.
One second, you were laughing at one of Leona’s grumbled comments about the Emperor's ridiculous hat. The next, you spotted the male lead grabbing Ruggie by the collar, his expression an infuriating mixture of smugness and anger.
You didn’t think you’d ever moved so fast in your life.
Leona and Jack followed closely as you stormed across the garden, your juice long forgotten, your mind set on one thing: getting Ruggie out of that pompous idiot’s grip.
Without hesitation, you grabbed the male lead’s hand and yanked it off Ruggie with more force than strictly necessary. Your other hand automatically went to Ruggie’s shoulder, checking on him. His cheeks were flushed—whether from embarrassment, anger, or both—and he looked like he was about to say something, probably telling you to let it go. But you weren’t in the mood to let anything go.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you demanded, your voice sharp enough to cut through the polite chatter of the party.
The male lead opened his mouth to answer, but before he could get a word out, the heroine appeared, her voice grating like nails on a chalkboard.
“He needs to learn his place,” she said, crossing her arms with an air of entitlement so thick it made your teeth grind. “He’s just a secretary. He refused to fetch drinks for us. He only works for you.”
The sheer audacity of her words made your blood boil. Your hands shook, and you barely noticed Jack placing a calming hand on one of them—or the fact that your other hand had already reached for the hilt of your sword.
“I’ll show you knowing your place,” you muttered, and started to unsheathe your sword.
Jack, ever the voice of reason, gave your arm a small squeeze and shook his head, silently pleading with you to reconsider committing murder at a garden party. For now.
And that’s when it hit you.
Your fury wasn’t just about the insult. It wasn’t just about the entitlement or the injustice of the situation. It was because they’d grabbed him. Ruggie.
You’d been in love with him all along, hadn’t you? And it wasn’t the quiet kind of love, either—it was the fiery, all-consuming kind that made you want to burn the world down for him.
You turned back to Ruggie, who was standing there looking flustered but defiant, his mouth set in a line of determination even as his ears betrayed his embarrassment by twitching slightly.
You did what any sane person would do in that moment.
You grabbed him by the arm, pulled him close, and kissed him.
Right there.
In front of everyone.
There was a stunned silence for a split second before the garden party exploded into chaos. The Emperor clapped like an overexcited seal, practically shouting his delight. The princess squealed, delightedly whispering to her ladies-in-waiting, who were fanning themselves with excitement. Leona looked entirely unsurprised, like he’d been waiting for this nonsense to resolve itself for months.
Ruggie, meanwhile, stood frozen in place, his face as red as the roses lining the garden, his hands hovering awkwardly in the air like he had no idea what to do with them.
Before he could recover enough to say anything, you turned to the heroine, your voice cold and commanding.
“He’s my lover,” you declared, loud enough for everyone to hear. “And I will personally write an official complaint to your family for your insult.”
The heroine’s jaw dropped. The male lead looked like he’d swallowed a lemon. The villainess, who had somehow materialized out of thin air to watch the drama, cackled so hard she spilled wine all over her gown.
You didn’t care. You wrapped an arm around Ruggie’s waist and turned on your heel, marching out of the garden with your still-dazed secretary in tow.
By the time you reached a quiet corner of the estate, Ruggie finally seemed to snap out of it. “What… What was that?” he asked, his voice half a squeak, his face still bright red.
“That,” you said, your voice softening as you looked at him, “was me making it clear to everyone that I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
Ruggie stared at you, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to find the words, but none were coming. You couldn’t help but grin.
“Take your time,” you teased. “But just so you know, you’re stuck with me now. Hope you’re okay with that.”
He laughed weakly, shaking his head. “Stuck with you? Boss, I think you’ve got it backward. I’m not going anywhere.”
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Later that evening, you found yourself in the quiet glow of your study, seated across from Ruggie. He was fidgeting, avoiding your gaze, his usual sharp wit dulled by the tension hanging between you. You had dragged him here after the chaos of the garden party, determined to finally clear the air.
He finally looked at you, and it was like something cracked open in his expression—raw, vulnerable, terrified. “Boss,” he started, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it, “you don’t… you don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?” you asked, leaning forward, your heart pounding in your chest.
“This.” He gestured vaguely between the two of you, his hand trembling slightly. “You’re… you. You’re a duke, you’re incredible, you’re—” He cut himself off with a shaky breath. “And I’m me. I’ve spent my whole life scraping by, looking out for myself. I’m not… someone people keep. I’m not someone people love.”
“Ruggie—”
“No, listen.” He ran a hand through his hair, his words tumbling out in a rush. “You think you love me now, but you’ll wake up one day and realize I’m not enough. That I can’t give you what someone else could. And it’s gonna—” His voice cracked. “It’s gonna shatter me if I let myself believe this could work, and then you leave.”
Your heart ached at the sight of him, the weight of his fears laid bare. This cunning, resilient hyena, who could outwit anyone and charm his way out of anything, was utterly lost when it came to your love.
“I’m not going to leave,” you said firmly, standing and walking over to him.
He let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head. “You say that now—”
You grabbed his hands, forcing him to look at you. “Ruggie,” you said, your voice trembling with the intensity of your feelings, “do you have any idea how much I ache for you?”
His breath hitched, his eyes wide as he stared at you like you’d just spoken a language he didn’t understand.
“You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re cunning as hell. And you’ve been utterly blind to the fact that I’ve been completely in love with you this entire time,” you continued, your voice rising slightly. “You’ve got this idea in your head that you’re not enough, but you are. You’ve been my priority for a long time now, and there’s no one who could ever match me like you do.”
He tried to pull away, but you didn’t let him. Instead, you cupped his face in your hands and kissed him, desperate and full of all the love you hadn’t been able to put into words.
For a moment, he froze. Then his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, and he kissed you back like you were the only thing keeping him alive. It wasn’t graceful—Ruggie never did anything by halves. It was messy and raw and so full of affection it made your knees weak.
When you finally broke apart, his forehead rested against yours, and you could feel his breath on your skin.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you,” you whispered. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I’m yours, Ruggie. Completely.”
His laugh was watery, breaking slightly as he buried his face in your shoulder. “You’re insane, you know that?”
“Probably,” you said, smiling through the tears that threatened to spill over.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You mean it?”
“With everything I am.”
His lips quirked into a shaky smile before he kissed you again, softer this time but no less consuming. When he pulled back, he let out a breathless laugh, wiping at his face with the back of his hand.
“I’m never gonna stop teasing you about this,” he said, his voice trembling but light.
“You’d better not,” you replied, grinning at him.
And for the first time, you saw it—the way he looked at you, like you’d hung the stars in the sky.
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The Empress swept into your estate like a regal hurricane, her entourage trailing behind her like obedient leaves in the wind. You barely had time to register her arrival before she was striding up to you, her heels clicking with authority.
“Duke,” she greeted you, her smile warm but her eyes glinting with mischief. “We need to talk.”
Oh no. Those were words that could make even the bravest soul break into a sweat.
She dragged you into a private corner of the drawing room, her grip iron despite the delicate lace gloves she wore. Once you were sufficiently isolated from prying ears, she fixed you with a conspiratorial grin.
“So,” she began, leaning in like she was about to share the kingdom’s deepest secrets. “When’s the wedding?”
You blinked. “...Your Majesty?”
She pouted like a child denied dessert. “Don’t play coy. The whole court saw your little garden party performance. The kiss? The declaration of love? The scandal! It was delightful.” She clasped her hands together dreamily. “I give it five stars. Now, when are you making it official?”
You stared at her, feeling like you’d just been hit by a runaway carriage. “We just confessed to each other two days ago.”
“And?”
“And?!” You threw your hands up, exasperated. “Your Majesty, we’ve barely had time to process our feelings, let alone plan a wedding!”
She sighed, clearly unimpressed with your lack of urgency. “Fine, I’ll give you time. But don’t take too long. The court thrives on drama, and you’re the main event right now.”
Before you could respond to that absurdity, she straightened, her expression shifting from playful to businesslike. “Now, on to more pressing matters. I came here to ask if you’d like to file a formal complaint against the heroine.”
“Oh, you know,” she said airily, inspecting her nails. “For the garden party incident, her persistent attempts to undermine your relationship, the time she cheated on you, and, oh yes, the money laundering."
If you were a better person, perhaps you’d have been moved to forgiveness. Maybe you’d have found it in your heart to let bygones be bygones. But alas, you were not that person.
“I want to sue her to the last penny,” you said, your voice flat but resolute.
The Empress’s smile was nothing short of gleeful. “Excellent. Trial will be held next week. My son, the Crown Prince, will preside over the case.”
“Wait,” you said, frowning. “The Crown Prince? Isn’t that a bit—”
“Messy?” She finished for you, her grin widening. “Of course it is. But what’s politics without a little chaos? Besides, he could use the practice.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, wondering how your life had spiraled into such madness.
The Empress patted your shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Duke. I’m sure you’ll win. And if not, well, at least the trial will be the most entertaining thing the court has seen in decades.”
And with that, she swept out of the room, leaving you standing there, wondering how suing your ex-fiancée had somehow become a royal spectacle.
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The trial was absurd. It had all the seriousness of a court proceeding mixed with the dramatic flair of a poorly written soap opera.
Every time the prince asked the heroine a simple question—“Did you steal the money?”—she would dissolve into a sobbing mess, dramatically wailing about how she “never meant for this to happen.” And every time, the male lead would grunt sympathetically, rubbing her back like a mother comforting a toddler who scraped their knee.
It would’ve been almost sweet if they weren’t both complete imbeciles and if the male lead didn’t still have a massive bump on his forehead from his earlier slip-and-faint incident. The man looked like he’d gotten into a fight with a marble and lost. Spectacularly.
You, sitting there in the gallery, were one sob away from walking out. The princess, who was co-presiding with her brother, looked two seconds away from leaning over and smashing her gavel just to make the crying stop.
Finally, the prince, clearly regretting every life choice that led him here, pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to you. “Do you want the money back?” he asked, his voice deadpan.
“Yes, Your Highness,” you said, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. “And also the money I sent to the male lead… on the heroine’s insistence.”
The princess blinked. “You gave him money? Why?”
“Because I’m an idiot with too much patience,” you muttered, throwing a pointed glare at the heroine. She sniffled, clearly offended that you didn’t love being conned like a fool.
The prince let out a deep sigh, the kind that said he was done. “Fine. You win. Everything will be returned to you. This trial is over.”
There was a brief moment of stunned silence, interrupted only by the heroine’s gasp. “That’s it?! You’re just taking their side?” she cried, clutching the male lead’s arm like a lifeline.
“I am taking the side of my own sanity,” the prince snapped, slamming his gavel down. “You, will be assigned to community service for your insensitive comments.”
“Community… service?” she squeaked.
“Yes. Community service. Volunteering, cleaning up public spaces, helping out—actual work for people who aren’t you. It’ll be good for your character,” the princess said, smiling sweetly, which only made it worse.
“And as for you,” the prince continued, turning to the male lead, “you’re being sent on probation. In the North. Until further notice.”
The male lead blinked, his hand frozen mid-rub on the heroine’s back. “I have to go back to the North?”
“Yes. It’s cold, it’s boring, and it’s far away. Enjoy.”
By the time the trial ended, you were practically skipping out of the courtroom, feeling vindicated and maybe a little petty. The heroine, meanwhile, was still sobbing, the male lead looked like he wanted to protest but didn’t have the brain cells to formulate a counterargument, and the prince was rubbing his temples like he’d aged ten years in one afternoon.
Justice? Achieved. And it was glorious.
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Ruggie had always been good at acting like nothing flustered him. It was practically a survival skill at this point—quick with a joke, quicker with an excuse, and faster than anyone else when it came to running away from situations he didn’t want to deal with.
But despite your confessions, despite the months that had passed, he still treated you more like a boss than a lover. You didn’t mind, not really—he made sure you were fed, handled your schedule with cutthroat efficiency, and somehow managed to keep both the court and your enemies at bay with nothing but charm and underhanded tactics.
The problem was, he still blushed like a maiden whenever you so much as held his hand.
It was hilarious.
The first time you kissed his cheek in front of some nobles, he nearly choked on air and then tried to play it off like you’d just hit him with an unexpected tactical strike.
The second time, you whispered something sweet in his ear, and he almost dropped the stack of documents he was carrying—almost. His reflexes were too sharp for that, but he still shot you a look like you’d personally thrown him off a cliff.
So naturally, when you cornered him in your office one day and asked, "Ruggie, do you wanna marry me?"—you were prepared for some kind of reaction.
You weren’t prepared for absolute silence.
His ears twitched. His tail flicked. His mouth opened, then closed. He looked like a man staring directly into the sun and realizing, all too late, that he had nowhere to hide.
Your heart sank. You weren’t sure what answer you’d expected, but hesitation wasn’t it.
“…Never mind,” you said, pulling back, smoothing over the moment like it was just another conversation. “Take your time.” And because he still looked like you’d asked him to solve advanced calculus on the spot, you reached up, pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, and whispered, "I'll see you at dinner."
Then you left, because you weren’t cruel enough to make him answer right away.
Dinner was… tense.
Not outwardly, no—Ruggie still stole extra servings off your plate, still flicked a pea at you when he thought no one was looking, still made a sharp comment about how the nobles were painfully useless for people who wore so much gold.
But his ears kept twitching. His tail was restless. And when you finally—gently—asked, "Alright, what's up?" he looked at you like you’d caught him stealing from your vault.
Then, slowly, he pulled out a ring.
Not just any ring. It was old, worn with time, but polished with care. A deep blue stone sat in the center, catching the light like the sky before a storm.
Ruggie took a breath, then said, "It’s my grandma’s. Been in the family forever." He hesitated, then pushed it towards you, still not quite meeting your eyes. "I want you to have it."
You stared. Your chest tightened. "Ruggie—"
He shifted, ears flattening. "I only hesitated ‘cause—‘cause I didn’t know if you’d even want it. Y’know. Since you got all this—" He gestured vaguely to your wealth, to the ridiculous palace you lived in, to everything he wasn’t.
That was possibly the dumbest thing you’d ever heard.
You slid the ring on immediately.
Then, with zero warning, you grabbed him by the waist, spun him around like you were sweeping him off his feet (because you were), and kissed him.
The yelp he let out was glorious.
“Oi—what the hell—”
“You absolute idiot,” you whispered against his lips, grinning. “You think I’d ever say no to you?”
He was so red. You’d never let him live this down.
But after a moment, he huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "Guess I'm stuck with ya now, huh?"
"You're the one who proposed, Ruggie," you pointed out, smirking.
"...Tch. You asked me first!"
"And you made me wait."
Ruggie groaned dramatically, but there was no real annoyance in it—just affection.
Hand in hand, still bickering, still laughing, you walked back to your office.
This time, engaged.
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Jack was the first to react.
The moment the words left your mouth—"We're engaged."—he nearly knocked over his drink in his rush to stand. "Congratulations!" he said, voice full of genuine warmth, his tail wagging just slightly despite his usual composed demeanor.
Ruggie, ever the smug little menace, leaned back in his chair, lazily draping an arm over yours like this wasn’t the most important announcement of his life. “’Course we are,” he said, grinning. “I mean, who else could put up with him, right?”
The casual act might’ve been more convincing if he hadn’t kept sneaking little glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking.
The Empress, meanwhile, was beyond pleased.
“Oh, this is wonderful,” she declared, practically vibrating with excitement. “Naturally, I shall officiate.”
“Excuse me?” The Emperor raised a brow. “Why do you get to officiate?”
“I called it first, obviously,” she said, as if this was an unquestionable truth of the universe.
“That’s not how that works.”
“It is if I win.”
The room watched in fascinated silence as the rulers of the entire empire prepared to settle this with the most sacred of duels: rock, paper, scissors.
The battle was tense. The atmosphere, electric. The stakes, higher than ever.
And in the end—
“Ha! Paper beats rock!” The Empress shot her husband a triumphant look, eyes gleaming. “Looks like I win, darling.”
The Emperor sighed, but he took the loss with grace, muttering something about “marrying them off in spirit” while the rest of the room moved on like this wasn’t the most absurd thing to witness at a royal event.
The princess wasted no time.
She practically lunged across the table, grabbing your hands with wide, pleading eyes. “Can you invite me to the wedding party? Please? Please? I’ll be so good, I promise.”
“…You’re literally a princess,” you said, raising a brow. “You could just be in the wedding party.”
“Yes, but it’s more fun if you invite me yourself.”
The prince, the only normal one here, merely gave you a polite smile and a firm pat on the back—a little too firm. Ruggie snickered when you nearly stumbled forward.
Leona, of course, was the least surprised out of everyone. He just gave you a lazy grin and said, “’Bout time.”
Typical.
And as you sat there, hand in hand with Ruggie, surrounded by friends (and also an unreasonably competitive royal couple), you had a thought.
Reading that trash novel was the best thing you could've ever done.
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Complete Masterlist ; Series Masterlist
It's been a while since I did one of these, who do y'all wanna see next in this series?
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amorfista-of-izalith · 6 months ago
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Nick Valentine, Synth Detective
partnering up with
Connor-51, Deviant Hunter!
I am pleased to present this little partnership idea between two tin cans I'm extremely fond of 💙 making this brought me so much joy and I hope you guys like it as well!
Some background info under the cut!~
Connor is an advanced prototype of android within the universe of Detroit: Become Human. He was designed to assist in the investigation of deviants, other androids that have "gone rogue" and stopped taking orders. He's also known as the Deviant Hunter. Though initially convinced that he is "just a machine" designed to accomplish his mission, Connor might eventually begin to warm up to his partner, and his priorities might shift unexpectedly.
Nick Valentine is a synth, or Synthetic man in Fallout 4. He is a mysterious prototype with the implanted memories of an old detective that lived over a century ago, and woke up in a heap of garbage after being dumped by his creators, the Institute. He's quick witted and snarky, and although his damaged components might make him appear intimidating at first, he is a deeply compassionate man who genuinely cares about doing the good thing, and this has earned him the trust and respect of his community.
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cherryblossompink303 · 4 months ago
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Patience: ~Operation Double date!~
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➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Hikaru and Kyoya get tricked into taking the host club girls on a double date. ➼ what to expect:  "Fine. Don't tell me if you like, I could probably help you but if you want to go rogue now be my guest, run back to that boy" ➼ warnings: Angst ➼ Part Fourteen | Part Sixteen A/n: Happy valentines day <3
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"Haruhi fujioka?"
"Hey arai"
Luckily for you tamaki and the twins quickly got caught up in whoever this boy is that knows Haruhi to even care about the boy who had come to see you moments before.
The same cannot be said however for Kyoya, who quickly replaced sam across the table from you, Mori and Honey stood nearby. "Who was that?" Kyoya was strangely intense in the way he asked the question.
"Who? Sam? he's just an old friend, like i told you"
The twins slide over, hikaru clearly not wanting to look at Haruhi and Arai anymore "An old friend who is a boy? and gave you a gift no where near your birthday? what is it anyway" Kaoru reaches out to the box but you clamber to take hold of it "No! No...I um...It's an old family heirloom...quite personal to me"
Hikaru raises an eyebrow "Why would he have an old family heirloom of yours? Why would it even be in Japan if you didn't bring it?" you nervously laugh at the question.
"Yeah well...It's a long story...really...long and boring... you don't want to hear"
"Y/n-chan was that guy your boyfriend?"
Your jaw drops "What?"
"That's what I would like to know as well" Kyoya chimes in "Huh?" your face falls at Kyoya's comment. You still cannot figure out exactly how you feel about him but you hated to hear the way he said it.
"You see if that boy was your boyfriend, I would need to know, it would be incredibly risky if my father found out, or if yours did for that matter" Oh...yeah...the arrangement...for a split second you thought that Kyoya was jealous. Did you want him to be? why are you even thinking about that?
"No! Sam's not my boyfriend, he was just doing a favour for me that's all now is anyone going to do something about Tamaki in the corner"
You all look over to Tamaki, who was hunched over in the corner tearing up paper.
"Hey! Quit making more garbage I'll have to take out" Haruhi cries
"It's not garbage I'm making a hamster home" Haruhi sighs "But Senpai you don't have a hamster"
"I'm not your senpai, I'm just an acquaintance of yours"
"Wow you ouran guys are funny, it's such a prestigious school, I've always imagined it was a whole different world"
The boys get caught up in Arai's words and the conversation. All except for Kyoya who leans over to rest his forearms against the table. "Okay, he may not be your boyfriend but you are still hiding something"
"So?"
"So whatever it is you don't want to tell me which concerns me"
"Kyoya I don't ask you to divulge all your plans, you're always up to something"
"I would tell you if you asked, I am asking but you still won't tell me"
"Why do you care?"
the two of you lock into a staring battle, both not wanting to confess anything first.
"Fine. Don't tell me if you like, I could probably help you but if you want to go rogue now be my guest, run back to that boy" Kyoya, stands up, walking over to the main conversation and leaving you sat stunned at the table.
You walk slowly back up to your room, after some yelling the twins run past you, Kaoru chasing after Hikaru, you make it a point to check in on that later.
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About an hour later you get a knock on the door of the room you're in. "Y/n?" Kaoru pokes his head through the door, sending you a nervous smile. "Kaoru? What's up? is Hikaru okay?"
Kaoru sighs "Yeah, he's just still getting used to the idea of having...friends...can I come in?" you nod, he steps out from behind the door, coming to sit next to you on the bed. "I need to ask you a favour"
"Sure"
"I think that if Haruhi and Hikaru go on a date tomorrow it might help him come out his shell a bit, but I have a feeling that if the two of them go alone he might say something stupid so...I suppose what I am asking is if you mind going on a double date, you, me, hikaru, and Haruhi"
you ponder over it for a moment, it was a good idea, you knew that Hikaru was struggling with the changes to his social life. So if this is what he needs it can't hurt "Sure, I'll go"
"Thanks, Hikaru and Haruhi are going to go into town a bit early tomorrow so meet me out front at 11 and then we can meet up with them in town. Wear something cute"
You roll your eyes at the last comment, shooting him a smile as he steps out the room.
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The next morning Kaoru approaches Kyoya, who is sat out on the patio, unkept in manner "Kyoya just the person I'm looking for, I have a favor to ask"
"What is it Kaoru?"
"You see me and hikaru are meant to take the girls out on a double date today...but I feel so ill...do you mind going in my place so that Hikaru doesn't mess things up?"
Kyoya raises an eyebrow at the request "You're asking me? Surely this is Tamaki's department"
"Tamaki would just make things worse and try to split up Hikaru and Haruhi, it needs to be you"
Kyoya sighs "Fine, if i must"
"Thank you! Y/n will be waiting out front at 11, show her a good time, i told her that she would have a fun day out in exchange for helping me"
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"Kyoya?" you question as you are stood outside waiting for Kaoru. "Kaoru is ill, he's sent me instead to make sure Hikaru doesn't say something stupid"
"Oh... i see..."
"Let's get this over with then"
The two of your head into town eventually meeting up with Hikaru and Haruhi, the four of you sat on a bench. "So where do we want to go?"
"Well Kaoru said he planned everything so i didn't really give it much thought. Any ideas?"
"Well there's not anything that I need to do here... I know why don't we go to that outlet mall by the train station, they've got cheap clothes there"
"That's cool, do you need to buy clothes?"
"No, there's no way I'd buy my clothes at that place" You elbow hikaru at the answer. "Then lets skip it"
"Everything looks okay now, but misuzu said it might rain, i sure hope there aren't any thunderstorms" Haruhi notes, looking up at the sky, which looks clear and blue for the time being
"I didn't know you were so into the weather"
You roll your eyes, stuck between hikaru who was being arsey and Kyoya who didn't want to talk at all.
Soon an ice cream kart comes barrelling past.
"That was creepy, that old guy looked like Honey senpai" Hikaru says, noticing that Haruhi is now gone, you nod in front of you where Haruhi is at an ice cream stand "One please"
Hikaru stands up walking over, leaving you and Kyoya sat awkwardly on the bench together. "This date isn't going very well is it?"
"Just give it time, hikaru isn't used to being without kaoru he just needs to adjust"
Kyoya hummed in agreement.
The two of you let Haruhi and hikaru go ahead a little as the four of you wander through Karuizawa, occasionally stopping at the odd stall here and there.
Kyoya and you were relatively silent. Unaware that the host club are watching on from a distance. "Dammit why is hikaru now better at communicating than kyoya is!" Kaoru muttered.
You started to overthink in wake of the silence, you were here to make sure hikaru's date didn't go off the rails but then you also wasn't following your own advice.
maybe you needed to be honest.
"Are you going to say anything?" the question slips out before you even process the words. "What?"
"You've barely said a word to me all day"
"I thought it was obvious that you do not want to tell me anything so what's the point"
"What on earth is up with you?"
"I don't like you keeping secrets, if you're keeping it from me all I can think that it could possibly be is that you're plotting against my family" you stop it your tracks "Excuse me?"
"That's how business works sometimes...the y/n group has been growing exponentially recently, has your father sent you to do something to break up his deal with the ootori group?"
You're floored, you cannot believe that Kyoya could accuse you of something like that.
"Kyoya are you kidding me? Do you seriously think I would be that deceptive?"
Suddenly grey clouds cast over karuizawa. "It does look like it's going to rain though, think we should back?" Haruhi asks
"Then, let's hail a cab, ok?"
"Is that you fujioka?" Arai catches you off guard, seemingly appearing next to you. "Oh no"
"Hey arai, I didn't expect to see you out here"
"Well this is my uncle's store, you guys out doing some shopping?"
"We were but now we're about to leave"
"Yeah? We've got a car that can take you back, just let me just ask my uncle"
"I don't want to be a bother"
"It's no problem, i wouldn't want you to get caught in the rain"
"Don't worry about it, we're getting a taxi" "Come on, don't waste your money on a taxi"
Thunder rumbling cuts him off, haruhi gasps. "Hey, why don't we accept his offer? The sooner we get home the better"
"Well, i guess you'll be riding home alone then" you sigh, perhaps this was too much too soon for hikaru "But, hikaru..."
"Just do whatever you want, okay? You guys can catch up and reminisce but leave me out of it!" Hikaru runs off "Wait!"
"What's his problem?" Arai asks. Haruhi runs after Hikaru "Haruhi!" You call after her, sighing in frustration as she disappears.
"We should call a car"
"I'll make my own way home, I wouldn't want you to think that I'm somehow sabotaging the ootori group by being in one of their cars"
Kyoya huffs "y/n-"
You roll your eyes "God forbid I want to keep something to myself" you mutter, walking off in the direction of the other two.
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Thunder cracked outside after finding your way back to your room, not bothering to turn the lights on as you sit down on the floor, leaning back against the wall, sighing, a tear sliding down your cheek.
The sight of the red gift wrapping catches your eye from the bed, reaching up to grab the box, you wipe your tears as you open it. As expected inside laid a USB stick and a pile of printed photos, you sigh as you place the box on the floor next to you. Shaking your head.
A controlled knock against the door causes you to wipe your tears, the door cracks open, Kyoya's head sticking in, searching around the room before finding you on the floor.
He doesn't say anything before walking in, sitting on the floor next to you.
"I'm sorry" his voice is quiet. "I don't know why I accused you of that...I suppose I don't like when there is something that I don't know, I shouldn't have taken it out on you"
You pause, thinking over his words.
"I'm trying to escape my family" your voice is weak when you eventually speak.
"Huh?"
"I came to Karuizawa to avoid going home for the summer break...but it's not just that..."
you reach for the box, shaky hands lifting it onto your lap. "Can you promise me that no matter what happens what I'm about to tell you it doesn't leave the room" Kyoya nods, raising an eyebrow at the sudden intensity.
"My father...is not a good man...he...he used to be...but I've had a feeling for a while that there's something up at the company...I just didn't have proof until now. Sam is the son of the CFO of the Asia branch"
"I see..."
"I'm sorry Kyoya...I didn't want to bring you into this...but that is why I need you...as soon as I no longer have to depend on him then...."
"Then?"
"...I'm planning on taking down the l/n group, from the inside"
you are praying that you had put your trust in the right place for once.
"Y/n did I mention that I am planning on buying my fathers company from under him?"
Your head snaps to look at him "What?"
"Mhm, all the money I have been saving, I am preparing to buy my fathers company"
You laugh through your tears "Really?"
"Yes...now if i had known that you were planning on doing something similar then this would have saved a lot of confusion"
"Well aren't we a match made in hell"
Kyoya smirked "Indeed"
your face falls "Kyoya theres something else I need to tell you"
"What is it?"
you reach to one of the photos, the one of both of your fathers in the headquarters of l/n group asia. "L/N group is covering up something for the ootori group...I don't know what it is but if sam is anything to go by its big"
Kyoya took the photo from you, gripping it as he stares at the two men.
"Well then... you better get me up to speed...we've got quite the work set out for us"
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Next time on patience 'Kyoya's reluctant day out!'
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