loovser

[loovser]

caught you slacking

synopsis ellie is your stalker

wc: 1,7k

cw: stalker!ellie, it’s consensual!!, if you are not comfortable with this topic don’t read it, fingering (r!receiving), slight face slapping (r! receiving), public sex kinda? at an empty parking lot, cursing, uses of pet names and degrading ones (slut, baby, princess), dumbification if you squint, masturbation (e!), sucking fingers. inspired in this tweet but make it wlw. +18 mdni

for a few weeks now, you’ve been feeling watched. it doesn’t matter where you are: at college, after your dance practices, at the cozy café you go to every day, or even at your own apartment. this creeping feeling crawls through your body and sends shivers down your spine everywhere you go, following you.

you should be scared, you know that. it’s the normal reaction everybody would have in this type of situation. but you’re not. you feel… thrilled. excited, even. you probably have a stalker and, for some reason, it makes you feel desired — in a way you’ve never experienced before.

of course, you’ve had your flings, your experiences. but you’ve never had someone who was so into you, watching your every step, every move. following you around all the time. that takes a lot of effort, and it makes you wonder why someone would do all of that just because of you.

it’s late already and you’re still in the practice room. alone now. everybody has left, but this is not a foreign feeling for you — to stay longer than everyone else. you always make sure to get all the steps perfectly and practice them until you’re satisfied with the results.

still, that feeling runs through your body like it’s ripping your flesh apart. you know someone is watching you, and you know it’s them. isn’t it funny how you fantasize about what they look like? is it a pretty girl? a filthy man? god, you hope it’s the first.

you’ve tried watching your surroundings carefully, trying to catch a glimpse of someone who was staring for a bit too long, or maybe walking too close to you. but they’re smarter than you. you’d have to get lucky to catch them slacking.

sighing, you stop the song that was blasting through the speakers. as much as you love beyoncé, you don’t think you could stand hearing ‘7/11’ one more time, and you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to perfect your routine tonight anyway. you take the stubborn strands of hair out of your face, drying the sweat with a little towel as you walk toward the window.

the room you’re in is located on the second floor of a dance studio, the big windows allowing you to see the streets — and, of course, allowing the streets to see you. whoever is watching you must be out there somewhere. your eyes roam over the open establishments: a gas station and a cvs. it’s fucking 1 a.m., so the lack of people on the streets or working right now actually makes sense.

what if you’re just being crazy? delusional? isn’t there a syndrome that makes people feel watched? maybe that’s the case, since you can’t see anyone from where you’re standing right now. you gather your stuff, deciding that the best thing you could do now is just go home and rest.

when you finally settle inside your car, you realize that you should probably fill up the tank before heading home, since you’re almost out of gas. the gas station in front of the dance studio is actually your go-to, so it’s not a problem at all. you’re a regular there, even if not at this time of night.

sure, you’ve been there at dawn once or twice, but you’d normally go earlier. you make a turn and stop the car there, getting out of it. it’s colder than before — your sweatpants and cropped top not doing much to warm you up, which is probably why you’re shivering so hard.

you head inside the convenience store to pay for it, wanting to grab a few candies as well. the shivers won’t stop, even when you’re out of the cold breeze. are you paranoid? you glance around. there’s just a girl there, at the cashier. auburn hair half tied up, freckled face, a nose piercing and a scar on her right eyebrow. she’s not looking at you, though, just scrolling mindlessly through her phone.

she’s pretty, you notice. there’s something off, which you can’t quite place. you don’t stare at her, going through the aisle full of sweets. subtly, you glance over at her again. that’s when you see it, in the reflection of the glass wall behind her: she’s watching you through her phone’s camera.

bingo. caught you slacking.

biting back a smirk, you grab some reese’s and walk slowly toward where she is, her eyes finally leaving her phone’s screen to meet yours. there are the shivers again. the weight in her gaze is unmistakable — you’re sure it’s her. it’s what you’ve been feeling all this time, your stomach doing flips under her green eyes. i knew i weren’t fucking crazy. but your expression remains neutral.

“$30 on pump 4,” you murmur nonchalantly, with a flat smile. you can’t give away that you know it’s her. not yet.

her eyes sparkle at the sound of your voice, like she’s been longing to hear it. you hand her the chocolates, fingers brushing slightly, and you swear you can hear her breath hitch.

her eyes never leave yours as she clears her throat. “that’ll be $40. what’s your payment method?”

you didn’t expect her to sound like that — so raspy, husky. the attraction you feel for her only fuels more and more. your eyes roam her figure — she’s not wearing any uniform, but there’s a little sign attached to her black shirt with her name on it. ellie.

“cash.” you hand her the bills. “keep the change.” you wink, grabbing the plastic bag and heading back to your car.

her gaze never leaves your figure, which makes something snap inside you. the heat pooling in your lower stomach makes your mind wander and create all sorts of scenarios that make your thighs press together. one in particular could work — if you do it right.

you get in your car and pull into a parking slot facing the glass window behind her. you can see her, even through the dark glass, but you pretend you can’t. you know she’s watching you. perfect.

you pull your sweatpants down, legs spreading. she probably can’t see everything from where she is, but she can have an idea of what’s going on. so you keep going.

your hand finds your — already wet — panties, fingers brushing through the fabric teasingly, going up and down in a slow rhythm. you bite your lip, risking a glance over to where she is, but you can’t see her figure there anymore.

what the fuck?

before you can do anything, a knock on your window startles you, making your legs close a bit as a reaction. you already know who’s knocking, so you look at her, rolling the window down.

“looking for me?” ellie asks, voice low and sultry.

she knows you know, but you confirm it anyway. “it’s you, right, ellie?”

she smirks, leaning into the window, arm sliding inside your car as she pats your thigh so you’ll spread your legs again. “you’re quite observant too, aren’t you, princess?”

it almost makes you moan, the way she says it. the way her hand snakes inside your panties, murmuring a ‘fuck’ under her breath. the way she groans as her fingers explore your wet folds. “i knew you’d be a slut f’me.”

that’s when you know you can’t hold back anymore, letting your moans out as she touches you, pulling your panties to the side. she finds your puffy clit, rubbing it with just the right amount of pressure. you whimper and she leans in, head now inside of your vehicle as she crashes her lips against yours in a searing, messy kiss. it’s all teeth and tongue, your moans being devoured and swallowed by her as she slides a finger inside you. she smirks when it gets hard for you to kiss her back.

“feels good, hm?” you nod, unable to form words, but it’s not enough for her. she gives your cheek a slap, not too strong, but enough for you to gasp. “too dumb to use your words? c’mon. tell me how good it feels.”

it’s almost embarrassing how much wetter your pussy gets at her actions. she doesn’t miss it, sliding a second finger in with a cocky smirk plastered on her pretty lips, her hot breath mingling with yours.

“s’t-too good… fucking me s-so good, els,” is what you manage to get out between your whines. you watch her toned arm flexing as she fingers you hard, her eyes hypnotized at the sight in front of her.

“this greedy cunt is taking me so well…” she grunts, her fingers curling and hitting that spongy spot that makes you see stars.

you grip her arm tight, mumbling incoherent words as the car bounces slightly at her moves, the wet squelching sounds from your cunt mixing with your moans. your eyes travel from the way her fingers disappear inside you to her figure and you realize that she’s fucking herself with her free hand. her pants and whimpers make you even dizzier, closer to the edge.

“can’t- mmph, ellie, i’m gonna cum,” you moan out, watching how her eyebrows furrow, both of her hands moving faster so that you could reach your orgasms together.

“cum on my fingers, baby, need it so much,” she groans. that’s all it takes, as you cry out her name, creaming her fingers. a loud moan leaves her lips as she cums as well, both of you breathless as you try to compose yourselves. she sucks her fingers clean, taking the other ones — the ones that were inside her — to your mouth. you smirk, sucking them clean for her as well.

“yummy,” you tease, after taking her fingers out of your mouth with a ‘pop.’

she chuckles. “you did it on purpose, didn’t you? touched yourself because you knew i would see?” ellie asks, almost in a whisper, admiring your features.

you shrug “you knew i could see you staring at me through your phone, right?”

“touché,” she presses a kiss to your lips. “i guess neither of us could keep the game on for longer.”

“i’m glad we couldn’t.”

[loovser]

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 5

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

wc: 3.1k

cw: smut, oral (r!receiving), scissoring, choking, cursing, overstimulation, pussy slaps (hehe), spitting, there’s fluff too i promise, they love each other omg i love them, ellie is such a loser :( until she’s not 🙂‍↕️ i think thats all plus its the last chapter so… enjoy!

when she reaches the last chords, ellie lets them hang in the air for a little longer, because she really doesn’t want this moment to end — and neither do you. not when you are looking at her like she’s everything you ever wanted. not when you remind her how you truly see her.

there’s a moment of stunned silence before the rooftop erupts into claps and whistles. not because she was perfect — she was, to you — but because she was real. raw. someone shouts “yeah girl!” and she flushes hard, tugging on her shirt nervously even though she is already walking off the tiny stage.

your heart hammers painfully against your ribs as she makes her way straight to you. her eyes never leaving yours. you just know dina and jesse are somewhere in this crowd grinning like two idiots. but you can’t keep thinking about anything else as she stops right in front of you.

staying seated, frozen in your place, you stare at her. how her guitar is hanging from her shoulder by a worn strap. how the soft glow of the rooftop lights catches the tiny tear streaks still shining on her cheeks. your fingers itch to wipe them off.

ellie bends down a little, so you are eye-level and scratches the back of her neck. you hold back a giggle, flashing her a sheepish smile instead. she’s so cute. her voice is so quiet, only you can hear it over the buzz of people around.

“hi…” she says and you swallow thickly, throat sore from all the emotions you’ve been facing today. she shifts her weight awkwardly from foot to foot, clutching her guitar pick tightly in one hand. “i know you’re mad. i- um.. i wanted to show you that i’m sorry. that… it was never a joke to me. you’re not a joke to me.”

the words land heavy between you two. you bite your lip, looking at her. the hurt in her face as she makes clear that she was always serious about you makes you realize that your assumptions were right. she’s been suffering too.

ellie ducks her head a little. “you don’t have to say anything. i just needed you to know. that’s all.” and she turns, ready to leave, giving you the space she thought you wanted.

but your hand shoots out before you can even think about it, grabbing the hem of her deftones shirt. you knew she wore it because it’s your favorite band.

she freezes, looking at you with wide, green eyes that shimmer under the lights.

you pull her just a little closer, voice trembling. “will you be gone in a day or two?” you watch how the corners of her mouth tug into a smile. you are referencing the song she sang to you.

“only if you want me to.”

you roll your eyes, because it’s obvious that you don’t want that. "...you’re such an idiot."

and before you can chicken out, before you can overthink it into oblivion, you pull her face down into yours, your lips crashing into hers eagerly. ellie’s surprise crumbles as she melts into the kiss. you couldn’t care less if anyone else is seeing it. it is the moment you have been dreaming of for days.

it couldn’t be more perfect. the feeling of your lips against hers making her let out a soft whimper, almost like a plea for more. you smirk against her lips and she takes this as an opportunity to deepen the contact, her tongue slipping on your bottom lip, seeking entrance.

almost instantly, you let it in, relishing at how she explores your mouth like she’s been craving it. and she has. all she can think about is how you taste so good on her tongue. all she can focus on is how your kiss makes her lose her mind. how your mouths were made for each other. how your body fits hers perfectly, like the missing star to her constellation.

and when you both reluctantly pull back, she swears you can’t look prettier than now. your face so close to hers, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. you smile at her as she admires you and she feels like she’s in heaven. you feel the same. it’s like everything you went through these last few days finally make sense.

“is that a yes to us finishing our project together-” ellie mumbles out, shyly.

“yes. yes, ellie, we will” you grin, cutting her off mid-sentence. she gives your lips a tender peck as you both chuckle.

after walking you home and giving you a goodbye kiss, both of you decided she would go back to your place the next day.

and that’s where you are right now, as she sits on your bed and you are listening to her talk about savage starlight. ellie tells you the dumbest jokes that somehow still make you laugh. maybe because her laugh is contagious. or it’s due to the fact that she’s so silly that you can’t stop giggling around her.

“you know… i made something for you. yesterday, before i went to sleep.”

“oh?” her cheeks turn pink and you realize the innuendo on your sentece.

“you are such a perv” you tease, laughing “it’s nothing like that. i just… well you noticed i have deleted the playlist i made, right?”

“yeah, i cried over it. a lot. does this have anything to do with the fact you followed me again on instagram yesterday?”

“kinda? i regretted it, so i was… fixing it.” you shrug and she smiles “so, i made another playlist. not for miller… but for you, ellie.”

her smile gets wider and softer and you can’t help but smile back at her. it’s so good to finally be able to really feel everything you feel for her and be close to her like this.

“you did?” she asks, softly and you nod. “can we… um, listen to it together?”

“i’d really like that.” you hand her your phone, the playlist on the screen.

ellie takes her time to see it. the name of the playlist being her name. the full, real one, no nicknames or made-up stuff. just her and the songs you carefully chose for it. she is so happy she could cry. the way you make her feel is overwhelming in the best way possible.

she takes a deep breath and presses play. ‘motion sickness’ bye phoebe bridgers starts to play faintly. “i’m really sorry… about lying to you. i never meant to, i just- i got scared of telling you the truth because i thought you wouldn’t like me if i wasn’t a boy”

you get closer to her on your bed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. she looks up at you and you can see how tormented she was being by her own thoughts.

“it was really confusing for me too, honestly. i’ve never felt so interested in someone before and suddenly i was interested in two people? that made me a little crazy.” you chuckle, watching her. “i mean, not confusing bad. just… new. for me. but whenever i was with you… it didn’t feel confusing. it just felt right.” you bite the inside of your cheek. “i didn’t know what that meant. or if it meant anything.”

ellie is quiet for a moment. then, softly: “it means something to me.” you meet her eyes.

“it means something to me, too. i figured it out when we stopped talking. that i was actually… relieved that these two people were you. and when i saw you on the rooftop i just knew that i’m really in love with you.”

“i am in love with you, too. you already noticed that,” she laughs and you smile “but it feels so good to be able to tell you.”

ellie kisses you. this time, it’s even deeper. like she is finally pouring all of the feelings she has been keeping inside of her for months, since she just admired you from her seat during your shared classes. it’s different from your first kiss. more intimate, more passionate.

her lips move against yours hungrily. with need and want. her hands grip your waist tightly as yours cup her face. the way her tongue easily slips into your mouth and how she is exploring your mouth is making it hard for you to keep your composure.

suddenly, she breaks the kiss, gasping for air. “shit — our paper”

“you’re gonna pretend you can focus on a VFX breakdown right now?”

she laughs. “i can multitask, you know.”

“i’d like to see that.” you are still breathless, your thighs brushing.

for a moment, you just stare at each other. her eyes roam your figure, gaze darkening as she looks back at your face. she can’t hold it in anymore.

“you know what, fuck this VFX project. i have other ways of showing you how i can focus on two things at the same time.” she murmurs, voice low and teasing as she hovers over you.

“how are you gonna do that?” you bite your lips as she pushes you onto the mattress.

her thighs are caging you in between her legs as she leans down to your face, stopping a few inches away from your lips. “you’ll see”

surprising you, she starts kissing your neck. she nips at it, sucking and licking. then biting. she is marking you, claiming you as hers. its sends a wave of heat straight to your core and you can’t stop the moan that escapes your mouth.

she smirks against your skin, proud of stealing that noise from you. her kisses trail down to your collarbones, teeth grazing in your skin. her hands roam your sides, under your shirt, making you shiver as she continues to colour your skin with dark hickeys.

“take it off…” you murmur, hand in her hair.

and she does, looking up at you, her eyes piercing through yours, slowly going down as she takes your shirt off. no bra. her pupils are blown like she’s looking at the prettiest thing she’s ever seen. you don’t think you could ever forget about it. and neither does she.

“you are so fucking pretty” it’s all the cinnamon-haired girl is capable of saying, before her mouth is all over you.

the multi-tasking is proven right when she gives attention to both of your tits at the same time, sucking and licking one while her finger plays with the other. you can only whimper, as you tangle your fingers into her hair.

with her free hand, she unbuttons your pants, pulling them down and finally backing away a bit, so she could take her time to look at you. how could you just get prettier and prettier as she discovers all these new sides of you?

you hair is messy, cheeks pink. the marks she left on your body sends a shiver down her spine. you feel hot under her gaze, the heat pooling in your stomach in a way that almost makes you beg her to touch you. she finishes taking your pants off, positioning herself in the middle of your legs.

ellie plays with the waistband of your panties and just her touch brushing your hips makes you bite back a moan. her heart is beating so fast she can feel it in her throat. its too much. she needs it, needs you. “how much do you like these?”

you frown “my panties? they are not my favorite-�� the sound of the thin and lacy fabric being ripped cuts you off. you gasp. did she just…?

she literally moans at the sight of you, jaw slack, like she’s overwhelmed by just how much she wants you. ripping the rest of your underwear off, she throws it away at some forgotten corner of your room. her fingers slide through your glistening heat “fuck… you are so wet already”

as your hips bucks forward to meet her face, she smirks. your eagerness makes her feel even more aroused, having you squirming on the spot just by teasing you is driving her crazy. “so impatient, baby. i’ll give you what you want.”

she spits in your clit, her gaze never leaving yours as she licks it, making you moan. your hand flies to her hair again, trying to ground yourself somehow as she starts to eat you out. it’s like she’s been starved for you this whole time as she messily sucks your sensitive bud, tongue exploring your folds and spreading your slick and her saliva all over your cunt.

her chin is dripping with your arousal but that’s the least of your worries right now as she relishes in your taste and pleasures you, whimpering into your pussy like she’s the one that’s being pleasured.

“shit, els, don’t stop”

ellie wouldn’t be able to stop even if she wanted to tease you. she’s already addicted to you, to your taste, to the way you sound when she’s in you, to how you struggle to keep looking at her. your taste, your smell… it’s too fucking good. her own hips grind into the mattress as she seeks some friction to relief the aching between her thighs.

it just pushes you closer to the edge, seeing her so desperate to give you what you want and also not being able to control herself. it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, her green eyes fixated on you as she slides her tongue inside you. your toes curl and she can feel your walls clenching around her pink muscle. the noises she is making mingle with yours and sends a vibration through you that is too much too bare.

you can’t even warn her when your orgasm hits, body shaking as she drinks all of your juices, not sparing a single drop.

“i need you so bad, god” she strips out of her clothes clumsily as you catch your breath.

your own arousal blossoming all over again as you watch her getting closer to you. her slim figure, toned arms, perked nipples… her fucking happy trail and little bush. it all makes you crazy. she smirks as you stare at her, positioning herself on top of you, her cunt aligned to your own. her lips crashes into yours in a searing kiss, you can taste yourself on her tongue as she pushes herself down against you.

she is rough with it, in a way you didn’t imagine. but you fucking love it. the way her hand grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling it hard. your head tilts back, but you can’t keep your eyes off of her. not when she’s on top of you. not when she’s looking at you like that. not when her hips buck against you, her pussy kissing yours just how you like it.

hearing your high-pitched moans is enough for her to know that you are in complete ecstasy, but she can’t help yourself when she asks “can a guy fuck you like this? hm?” her voice even rougher due to the pleasure. you almost cum right there, hardly managing to keep it together as you moan louder. it’s so hard to talk.

your fucked out expression is driving her insane, the way your eyes never leave hers. but she wants you to say it. her grip on your hip loosens as she guides her hand to your neck, fingers closing around it, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you feel dizzy. fucking hell.

“come on, you can do better than that f’me. answer” she pants, the feeling of your throat bobbing against her palm making it almost impossible for her to not make a mess on top of you. she squeezes it and you gasp.

“n-no, fuck, els. only you” is all you manage to get out from your system, breathless, as she takes her hand back to your hip and starts moving her cunt faster against yours.

the squelching wet noises mingling with your moans and her whimpers making everything sound even more pornographic. “mmmph yeah, that’s it. this pussy is all mine” she groans.

her swollen clit rubbing against yours in a friction that makes you spiral. the way her grip on you tightens as she keeps you right where she wants you, it’s definitely gonna leave marks. she’s once again claiming you as hers and you let it. because you are.

it’s like she’s a starved woman, devouring you with her eyes as she sets the perfect pace to make you roll yours. the sight of you like this is one she will never forget, carved into her memory forever. she just wants to keep making you feel like this. you look so good under her.

“just one more, baby. i know you got it in you,” she presses herself against you, stopping for a moment just to give your clit a few slaps, relishing in your wetness and the whimper you let out as she does. “fucking give it to me”

“shit, i- i’m gonna cum, ellie” you moan out and she can’t get over the way her name sounds on your lips. she goes back to riding you, the angle somehow getting even better than before.

“let me feel you cumming all over me, make a mess baby” it’s all it takes for you. the overstimulation from the previous orgasm makes this one hits you even harder, legs shaking as your slick gush against her, crying out her name over and over, like a prayer.

her hips bucking faster and in a sloppier way as she rides it out, chasing her own orgasm that comes right away. she grunts, giving a few more rolls as she creams all over your cunt. her face when she cums is so slutty you swear you could reach your third climax just by looking at it.

she collapses on top of you and you chuckle breathlessly, your hand stroking her sweaty hair gently. “you’re mine”

“i am. and you are mine. where the fuck did you hide all of this?” she laughs as you ask.

“that’s only for you to see”

“good… you know you are kind of deserving to smoke that weed you gave me with me.”

“oh, am i?”

she chuckles, looking at you. and when she kisses you deeply again you know that you are going to be seeing a lot more.

happy mother’s day!! we reached the end of this series guys thank you so much for the support and for reading it! i hope you liked it 💘 i am already working on some other things, buuuuut feel free to request any theme you’d like me to write about! also thank you so much for the 200 followers, i love you all MWAH

previous

taglist!

@marirxse @yashirawr @vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn @lesb4ellie @jun1eqz

[loovser]

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 5

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

wc: 3.1k

cw: smut, oral (r!receiving), scissoring, choking, cursing, overstimulation, pussy slaps (hehe), spitting, there’s fluff too i promise, they love each other omg i love them, ellie is such a loser :( until she’s not 🙂‍↕️ i think thats all plus its the last chapter so… enjoy!

when she reaches the last chords, ellie lets them hang in the air for a little longer, because she really doesn’t want this moment to end — and neither do you. not when you are looking at her like she’s everything you ever wanted. not when you remind her how you truly see her.

there’s a moment of stunned silence before the rooftop erupts into claps and whistles. not because she was perfect — she was, to you — but because she was real. raw. someone shouts “yeah girl!” and she flushes hard, tugging on her shirt nervously even though she is already walking off the tiny stage.

your heart hammers painfully against your ribs as she makes her way straight to you. her eyes never leaving yours. you just know dina and jesse are somewhere in this crowd grinning like two idiots. but you can’t keep thinking about anything else as she stops right in front of you.

staying seated, frozen in your place, you stare at her. how her guitar is hanging from her shoulder by a worn strap. how the soft glow of the rooftop lights catches the tiny tear streaks still shining on her cheeks. your fingers itch to wipe them off.

ellie bends down a little, so you are eye-level and scratches the back of her neck. you hold back a giggle, flashing her a sheepish smile instead. she’s so cute. her voice is so quiet, only you can hear it over the buzz of people around.

“hi…” she says and you swallow thickly, throat sore from all the emotions you’ve been facing today. she shifts her weight awkwardly from foot to foot, clutching her guitar pick tightly in one hand. “i know you’re mad. i- um.. i wanted to show you that i’m sorry. that… it was never a joke to me. you’re not a joke to me.”

the words land heavy between you two. you bite your lip, looking at her. the hurt in her face as she makes clear that she was always serious about you makes you realize that your assumptions were right. she’s been suffering too.

ellie ducks her head a little. “you don’t have to say anything. i just needed you to know. that’s all.” and she turns, ready to leave, giving you the space she thought you wanted.

but your hand shoots out before you can even think about it, grabbing the hem of her deftones shirt. you knew she wore it because it’s your favorite band.

she freezes, looking at you with wide, green eyes that shimmer under the lights.

you pull her just a little closer, voice trembling. “will you be gone in a day or two?” you watch how the corners of her mouth tug into a smile. you are referencing the song she sang to you.

“only if you want me to.”

you roll your eyes, because it’s obvious that you don’t want that. "...you’re such an idiot."

and before you can chicken out, before you can overthink it into oblivion, you pull her face down into yours, your lips crashing into hers eagerly. ellie’s surprise crumbles as she melts into the kiss. you couldn’t care less if anyone else is seeing it. it is the moment you have been dreaming of for days.

it couldn’t be more perfect. the feeling of your lips against hers making her let out a soft whimper, almost like a plea for more. you smirk against her lips and she takes this as an opportunity to deepen the contact, her tongue slipping on your bottom lip, seeking entrance.

almost instantly, you let it in, relishing at how she explores your mouth like she’s been craving it. and she has. all she can think about is how you taste so good on her tongue. all she can focus on is how your kiss makes her lose her mind. how your mouths were made for each other. how your body fits hers perfectly, like the missing star to her constellation.

and when you both reluctantly pull back, she swears you can’t look prettier than now. your face so close to hers, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. you smile at her as she admires you and she feels like she’s in heaven. you feel the same. it’s like everything you went through these last few days finally make sense.

“is that a yes to us finishing our project together-” ellie mumbles out, shyly.

“yes. yes, ellie, we will” you grin, cutting her off mid-sentence. she gives your lips a tender peck as you both chuckle.

after walking you home and giving you a goodbye kiss, both of you decided she would go back to your place the next day.

and that’s where you are right now, as she sits on your bed and you are listening to her talk about savage starlight. ellie tells you the dumbest jokes that somehow still make you laugh. maybe because her laugh is contagious. or it’s due to the fact that she’s so silly that you can’t stop giggling around her.

“you know… i made something for you. yesterday, before i went to sleep.”

“oh?” her cheeks turn pink and you realize the innuendo on your sentece.

“you are such a perv” you tease, laughing “it’s nothing like that. i just… well you noticed i have deleted the playlist i made, right?”

“yeah, i cried over it. a lot. does this have anything to do with the fact you followed me again on instagram yesterday?”

“kinda? i regretted it, so i was… fixing it.” you shrug and she smiles “so, i made another playlist. not for miller… but for you, ellie.”

her smile gets wider and softer and you can’t help but smile back at her. it’s so good to finally be able to really feel everything you feel for her and be close to her like this.

“you did?” she asks, softly and you nod. “can we… um, listen to it together?”

“i’d really like that.” you hand her your phone, the playlist on the screen.

ellie takes her time to see it. the name of the playlist being her name. the full, real one, no nicknames or made-up stuff. just her and the songs you carefully chose for it. she is so happy she could cry. the way you make her feel is overwhelming in the best way possible.

she takes a deep breath and presses play. ‘motion sickness’ bye phoebe bridgers starts to play faintly. “i’m really sorry… about lying to you. i never meant to, i just- i got scared of telling you the truth because i thought you wouldn’t like me if i wasn’t a boy”

you get closer to her on your bed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. she looks up at you and you can see how tormented she was being by her own thoughts.

“it was really confusing for me too, honestly. i’ve never felt so interested in someone before and suddenly i was interested in two people? that made me a little crazy.” you chuckle, watching her. “i mean, not confusing bad. just… new. for me. but whenever i was with you… it didn’t feel confusing. it just felt right.” you bite the inside of your cheek. “i didn’t know what that meant. or if it meant anything.”

ellie is quiet for a moment. then, softly: “it means something to me.” you meet her eyes.

“it means something to me, too. i figured it out when we stopped talking. that i was actually… relieved that these two people were you. and when i saw you on the rooftop i just knew that i’m really in love with you.”

“i am in love with you, too. you already noticed that,” she laughs and you smile “but it feels so good to be able to tell you.”

ellie kisses you. this time, it’s even deeper. like she is finally pouring all of the feelings she has been keeping inside of her for months, since she just admired you from her seat during your shared classes. it’s different from your first kiss. more intimate, more passionate.

her lips move against yours hungrily. with need and want. her hands grip your waist tightly as yours cup her face. the way her tongue easily slips into your mouth and how she is exploring your mouth is making it hard for you to keep your composure.

suddenly, she breaks the kiss, gasping for air. “shit — our paper”

“you’re gonna pretend you can focus on a VFX breakdown right now?”

she laughs. “i can multitask, you know.”

“i’d like to see that.” you are still breathless, your thighs brushing.

for a moment, you just stare at each other. her eyes roam your figure, gaze darkening as she looks back at your face. she can’t hold it in anymore.

“you know what, fuck this VFX project. i have other ways of showing you how i can focus on two things at the same time.” she murmurs, voice low and teasing as she hovers over you.

“how are you gonna do that?” you bite your lips as she pushes you onto the mattress.

her thighs are caging you in between her legs as she leans down to your face, stopping a few inches away from your lips. “you’ll see”

surprising you, she starts kissing your neck. she nips at it, sucking and licking. then biting. she is marking you, claiming you as hers. its sends a wave of heat straight to your core and you can’t stop the moan that escapes your mouth.

she smirks against your skin, proud of stealing that noise from you. her kisses trail down to your collarbones, teeth grazing in your skin. her hands roam your sides, under your shirt, making you shiver as she continues to colour your skin with dark hickeys.

“take it off…” you murmur, hand in her hair.

and she does, looking up at you, her eyes piercing through yours, slowly going down as she takes your shirt off. no bra. her pupils are blown like she’s looking at the prettiest thing she’s ever seen. you don’t think you could ever forget about it. and neither does she.

“you are so fucking pretty” it’s all the cinnamon-haired girl is capable of saying, before her mouth is all over you.

the multi-tasking is proven right when she gives attention to both of your tits at the same time, sucking and licking one while her finger plays with the other. you can only whimper, as you tangle your fingers into her hair.

with her free hand, she unbuttons your pants, pulling them down and finally backing away a bit, so she could take her time to look at you. how could you just get prettier and prettier as she discovers all these new sides of you?

you hair is messy, cheeks pink. the marks she left on your body sends a shiver down her spine. you feel hot under her gaze, the heat pooling in your stomach in a way that almost makes you beg her to touch you. she finishes taking your pants off, positioning herself in the middle of your legs.

ellie plays with the waistband of your panties and just her touch brushing your hips makes you bite back a moan. her heart is beating so fast she can feel it in her throat. its too much. she needs it, needs you. “how much do you like these?”

you frown “my panties? they are not my favorite-“ the sound of the thin and lacy fabric being ripped cuts you off. you gasp. did she just…?

she literally moans at the sight of you, jaw slack, like she’s overwhelmed by just how much she wants you. ripping the rest of your underwear off, she throws it away at some forgotten corner of your room. her fingers slide through your glistening heat “fuck… you are so wet already”

as your hips bucks forward to meet her face, she smirks. your eagerness makes her feel even more aroused, having you squirming on the spot just by teasing you is driving her crazy. “so impatient, baby. i’ll give you what you want.”

she spits in your clit, her gaze never leaving yours as she licks it, making you moan. your hand flies to her hair again, trying to ground yourself somehow as she starts to eat you out. it’s like she’s been starved for you this whole time as she messily sucks your sensitive bud, tongue exploring your folds and spreading your slick and her saliva all over your cunt.

her chin is dripping with your arousal but that’s the least of your worries right now as she relishes in your taste and pleasures you, whimpering into your pussy like she’s the one that’s being pleasured.

“shit, els, don’t stop”

ellie wouldn’t be able to stop even if she wanted to tease you. she’s already addicted to you, to your taste, to the way you sound when she’s in you, to how you struggle to keep looking at her. your taste, your smell… it’s too fucking good. her own hips grind into the mattress as she seeks some friction to relief the aching between her thighs.

it just pushes you closer to the edge, seeing her so desperate to give you what you want and also not being able to control herself. it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, her green eyes fixated on you as she slides her tongue inside you. your toes curl and she can feel your walls clenching around her pink muscle. the noises she is making mingle with yours and sends a vibration through you that is too much too bare.

you can’t even warn her when your orgasm hits, body shaking as she drinks all of your juices, not sparing a single drop.

“i need you so bad, god” she strips out of her clothes clumsily as you catch your breath.

your own arousal blossoming all over again as you watch her getting closer to you. her slim figure, toned arms, perked nipples… her fucking happy trail and little bush. it all makes you crazy. she smirks as you stare at her, positioning herself on top of you, her cunt aligned to your own. her lips crashes into yours in a searing kiss, you can taste yourself on her tongue as she pushes herself down against you.

she is rough with it, in a way you didn’t imagine. but you fucking love it. the way her hand grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling it hard. your head tilts back, but you can’t keep your eyes off of her. not when she’s on top of you. not when she’s looking at you like that. not when her hips buck against you, her pussy kissing yours just how you like it.

hearing your high-pitched moans is enough for her to know that you are in complete ecstasy, but she can’t help yourself when she asks “can a guy fuck you like this? hm?” her voice even rougher due to the pleasure. you almost cum right there, hardly managing to keep it together as you moan louder. it’s so hard to talk.

your fucked out expression is driving her insane, the way your eyes never leave hers. but she wants you to say it. her grip on your hip loosens as she guides her hand to your neck, fingers closing around it, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you feel dizzy. fucking hell.

“come on, you can do better than that f’me. answer” she pants, the feeling of your throat bobbing against her palm making it almost impossible for her to not make a mess on top of you. she squeezes it and you gasp.

“n-no, fuck, els. only you” is all you manage to get out from your system, breathless, as she takes her hand back to your hip and starts moving her cunt faster against yours.

the squelching wet noises mingling with your moans and her whimpers making everything sound even more pornographic. “mmmph yeah, that’s it. this pussy is all mine” she groans.

her swollen clit rubbing against yours in a friction that makes you spiral. the way her grip on you tightens as she keeps you right where she wants you, it’s definitely gonna leave marks. she’s once again claiming you as hers and you let it. because you are.

it’s like she’s a starved woman, devouring you with her eyes as she sets the perfect pace to make you roll yours. the sight of you like this is one she will never forget, carved into her memory forever. she just wants to keep making you feel like this. you look so good under her.

“just one more, baby. i know you got it in you,” she presses herself against you, stopping for a moment just to give your clit a few slaps, relishing in your wetness and the whimper you let out as she does. “fucking give it to me”

“shit, i- i’m gonna cum, ellie” you moan out and she can’t get over the way her name sounds on your lips. she goes back to riding you, the angle somehow getting even better than before.

“let me feel you cumming all over me, make a mess baby” it’s all it takes for you. the overstimulation from the previous orgasm makes this one hits you even harder, legs shaking as your slick gush against her, crying out her name over and over, like a prayer.

her hips bucking faster and in a sloppier way as she rides it out, chasing her own orgasm that comes right away. she grunts, giving a few more rolls as she creams all over your cunt. her face when she cums is so slutty you swear you could reach your third climax just by looking at it.

she collapses on top of you and you chuckle breathlessly, your hand stroking her sweaty hair gently. “you’re mine”

“i am. and you are mine. where the fuck did you hide all of this?” she laughs as you ask.

“that’s only for you to see”

“good… you know you are kind of deserving to smoke that weed you gave me with me.”

“oh, am i?”

she chuckles, looking at you. and when she kisses you deeply again you know that you are going to be seeing a lot more.

happy mother’s day!! we reached the end of this series guys thank you so much for the support and for reading it! i hope you liked it 💘 i am already working on some other things, buuuuut feel free to request any theme you’d like me to write about! also thank you so much for the 200 followers, i love you all MWAH

previous

taglist!

@marirxse @yashirawr @vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn @lesb4ellie @jun1eqz @oneinameliann

[loovser]

i’m so sad i just noticed that you actually deleted the playlist

i did im sorryyyy but you’ll understand why soon🙂‍↕️

[loovser]

loser!ellie at hooters headcanons

synopsis loser!ellie meeting you at hooters

wc: 550

loser!ellie that met you when dina and jesse took her to hooters — where you worked at — on her birthday.

loser!ellie that couldn’t stop looking at you from the moment she saw you

loser!ellie that almost killed her friends when they asked you to get their orders, noticing the way she was staring at you.

loser!ellie that was blushing like crazy when you approached their table.

loser!ellie who watches you mesmerized, trying not to let her eyes roam your figure, eyes freezing on your face as jesse and dina make their order.

loser!ellie who gets so distracted with staring at your face that doesn’t realize it’s her turn to make her order.

“so… what would you like, ellie?” you ask, after her friends tell you her name.

she blushes even harder. you notice how hard she tries not to look at your body, being respectful and you flash her a smile.

hearing how pretty her name sounds coming out of your lips and seeing your smile makes her feel like she’s gonna pass out. you are one of the prettiest girls she’s ever seen and she really doesn’t know how to act.

“um… i- what do you recommend?” ellie manages to ask.

“well, my favorite is the twisted texas melt, if you are into burgers i’d definitely recommend that” you lean a bit closer to her, to show it on the menu she’s holding.

loser!ellie who can’t help but glance down at your boobs when you are this close to her, immediately looking back at your face and cursing herself mentally for not being any better than a man.

loser!ellie whose friends make fun of her after you leave their table because she’s so damn obvious.

loser!ellie who stutters a ‘thank you’ when you bring their order

loser!ellie whose wallpaper is some unfunny arcane meme and she almost dies when you catch a glimpse of it.

“oh, i love this show” you point out as she widens her eyes at you

“arcane?” she asks, dumbfounded and you chuckle.

she thinks that that is the greatest sound she’s ever heard. “yeah, i’m a bit obsessed with vi.”

“oh my god that’s so gay” it just blurts out of her mouth before she can stop herself. jesse and dina hold their laughs and she’s about to start apologizing — until you laugh. really laugh.

“that’s cause i am” ellie’s heart nearly stops. did she hear it right? at this point she might just start jumping out of happiness.

“me too, yeah, go lesbians” she facepalms herself mentally. her friends can’t even pretend they are not laughing anymore.

“figures,” you chuckle “but totally, go lesbians.”

loser!ellie who smiles widely as you wink at her and go to someone else’s table.

loser!ellie who definitely checks you out as you do.

loser!ellie who nearly faints when you bring a little cake over to her table.

loser!ellie who makes a mental note to kick her friend’s ass when she recognizes her favorite chocolate cake being put in front of her — by you.

loser!ellie who cackles as she reads “happy 20 years no pussy” written carefully with green frosting.

loser!ellie who blushes when you sing ‘happy birthday’ to her with dina and jesse.

loser!ellie who feels like she’s dreaming when you press a kiss on her left cheek and say “happy 20th birthday, els”

loser!ellie who is sure she is dreaming when you tuck a piece of paper with your number on it into her hand.

[loovser]

when i read the manga i was so nervous in the talent show part, e and got even more nervous reading your story

can’t wait for next chapter

im glad you liked it bby!!! honestly it was one of my favorite parts to write as well so i feel you. 💘

[loovser]

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 4

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl

wc: 3,3k

cw: feelings all over the place, love you jesse and dina, ellie’s trying hard… my pookie. mentions of weed, cursing, lila is now kinda cool, angst, fluff and oh my god the ending just made me crazy and dizzy aaaand don’t kill me.

ellie fucked up. she knows that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. for what it’s worth, it hurts even more to know that she put you through all of this. it was wrong from the start. a misunderstanding that she should have solved as soon as it came to her knowledge.

but how could she? when all she thought about was you. how everything felt so easy with you. for once in her life, someone was really seeing her — and it was you. she wanted that. desperately.

she was selfish. but the way you flooded her with so many feelings — it overflowed. and you got swept away in it, too.

it’s been a whole day. she hasn’t seen you around campus. not even in your classes — don’t ask her how she memorized those. but she wasn’t sure if she should look for you. well, she knows she should give you some space. but still, she already craves seeing you. she misses you, misses talking to you.

her mind is stuck on the way she touched your face. the way you were so close to her. how you looked at her. she messed it all up. and she doesn’t know how to deal with that. the solution she came up with — staying in her dorm all day — isn’t really working. it was just making it worse. she wants to go home to joel, but he is out of town. she knows that, if she calls him, he will go back instantly. that’s why she doesn’t. suck it up, ellie.

she tried calling you when you left. no answer. she tried contacting you, it hurt to see your old conversations. she wonders how it feels for you. probably worse. it confirms her suspicions when you leave her on read — every message she sends is totally ignored, just like the ones she’s sending right now.

ellie Do Not Answer (2:54) talk to me… im really sorry

ellie Do Not Answer (2:54) i miss you

no answer. you lock the screen, fighting back the tears. you’ve already cried too much over this. it feels so… embarrassing. you feel so dumb. how could you not recognize her? the way she sounds, the way she moves. it’s all so… ellie. you should’ve known better. but at the same time, how could you doubt anything about her when you connected so deeply in such a short time.

when you found out, you were so hurt. you felt betrayed. it pained you deeply, how you felt like you were being played. how she was making a fool out of you. did she laugh about this to her friends? did she think you are stupid, just as you feel? was it a dare? some kind of twisted joke? one of those bet things from crappy rom-coms?

deep down, you know that she must have had a reason for it. if she’s really anything like she was showing to you, there’s no way she did that because she was trying to hurt you. it’s so confusing how your thoughts oscillate between thinking about her feelings and reasons or just sticking to yours. like you are on a damn seesaw, feelings tossed up and down, again and again.

you missed all your classes today. your friends were texting you like crazy. leah even mentions ellie — as the quiet girl who sits next to you during VFX classes. saying something about how she went to all of your classes, looking for something and how she finds it weird. you snort. she’s such a loser.

and you are crying again. because, even if you try not to, you miss her too. you miss talking to her about songs, about you and about her. just… about everything. you weren’t even talking for that long, but you already knew so much about each other. except her real identity. the damn seesaw.

what are you supposed to believe? was she being herself around you all the time? even during texts? she did mention her roomie was a bitch when you thought she was miller and it turned out to be true. she also told you that she didn’t go to college, which she does. sharing fucking classes with me, yeah — surprise. i get it now.

it is too much. even more when you think about having to see her again. you have a fucking project to finish together, or you will fail the class. you can’t fail it. even if you want to change your partner now, you’ll have to talk to her at some point.

which is bothering her too. a lot. but not for the same reason as it’s bothering you. she definitely wants to work on it with you, but she gotta make things right first. somehow… there has to be a way you can forgive her. even if you don’t want to be friends — or whatever it is that you were — with her anymore. at the very least, she just… really wants to finish this project with you.

she opens her spotify, to check the playlist you made her and- oh my fucking god.

it’s gone. deleted. as in: doesn’t exist anymore. she feels like crying, again.

she needs to do something to fix it. anything. whatever it takes.

meanwhile, all you want is to rot in bed all day. or even better, all week. it’s funny how someone you’ve known for less than a month can have such a huge impact on you. well, at least talked to for less than a month. because really, she’s been around for a while. and it’s not like you haven’t noticed her before. you just haven’t really seen her and you wish you had before all of this happened. things could be different, no lies to hurt you in the process.

but it didn’t happen. and still, your heart flutters when you remember the moments you shared together. the way her calloused fingers felt so soft on your cheek. how her green eyes sometimes flicker with this hazel shadow when the sun peeks through the cd store’s window.

how you would do anything to see her flushed cheeks underneath her face mask while she flirted with you. or how pretty she must have looked when you could hear the smirk in her voice. somehow it makes you feel relieved that miller and ellie are actually one. the same. how all your worries were never really a problem because you were not confused between two people. in reality you were falling for the same one, all sides of her. of ellie.

you unfollowed her on instagram and deleted the playlist you made her earlier and you kind of regret it now. even if you never felt anything close to what you feel about her, you always had in mind that it is never a waste to feel. whatever it is that you are feeling, just feel it. but it’s hard when you don’t even know what you are feeling. you are sad, disappointed, embarrassed. but you are also relieved — and missing her.

gladly, a knock on your door gives your tortured brain some rest. you sigh, not really knowing what to expect when you make your way to open it. when you see jesse and dina there you can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. maybe you should just answer her and actually talk about it like grown-ups do.

“what the fuck..” you murmur, curiosity getting the best of you. they are her friends after all.

“hello to you, too.” jesse chuckles and dina elbows him slightly, flashing you a sheepish smile.

“we have a delivery for you!” she adds, taking a little zipbag full of weed from his jacket’s pocket.

“um… i don’t remember buying this”

“that’s cause you didn’t.” the guy deadpans.

“it’s a gift!” dina barges in. “from ellie.”

“oh…” it’s all you manage to say. of course it’s from ellie. is she really trying to buy me with weed right now?

you blink, staring at the bag. they stare back at you, waiting for your reaction. you sigh as the silence stretches just enough for it to get awkward, grabbing it from her hand gently. taking it to your nose, you don’t even need to make an effort to sniff it. this is not your usual. it’s the more expensive one. some really high quality shit.

“wow. she put some effort into it, didn’t she?” you bite back a smile.

“yup. made her pay full price because of the bullshit she pulled-“ dina smacks his arm to stop him from talking any further, earning a loud ‘ouch!’ from him.

“can’t really pass free weed now” you shrug, trying to act nonchalant, but by the way they smile you know they can see right through you.

“i guess you can’t” she chuckles. “what you can do, tho it’s showing up to the college’s rooftop tonight.”

“that would be great, yes, dina. great idea! like, you could just go up there at 8 p.m. sharp.” jesse adds and you can’t help but laugh at how they are really doing this right now.

“you’re good friends, y’know? i’ll think about it.”

“okay, yeah… keep playing it hard to get like we don’t know you will be there… can’t fool us!” he jokes, pulling dina together with him so they can leave your apartment’s door.

leaving you there, the damn gift weighing heavy in your hand — and on your heart. how much money did she actually spend with that? it makes you feel bad, somehow. you know she hurt you and you know she knows it too. your heart clenches at the thought that she must be suffering with this whole thing, too.

yet, she’s been reaching out to you, from the moment you left her dorm. she’s been trying to fix it, in some way. you never expected someone to care about you that much. your friends never did. even if you know she’s more than that. or was. it’s been a whole day and she is still doing what’s in her power to try fixing the mess she created. thinking about you, about things you like.

and all you can do is sigh because you know jesse is right. if you didn’t want to forgive her, not even a little, would you have accepted her gift? you know the answer to that.

thinking about what she could do to fix everything with you wasn’t easy at all. ellie had to literally sit down on her bed and write down a lot of ideas — 43 to be exact. and most of those were shit, like finishing the project all by herself so you wouldn’t have to do it.

where’s the fun in that? she would save you from seeing her again, yes. as she had in mind that you absolutely despised her at the moment, it would be a huge favor to you. but complete torture to her. and she still wanted you to like her again, so this idea had to go.

the atmosphere in her dorm was pretty shitty. she couldn’t hide the fact that she was crying to lila, which made the girl stare at her for, like, 50 minutes. non-stop. without saying a word, too. not that ellie was expecting her to, it was just… weird as fuck.

but then “what’s with all this crying today? you are freaking me out”

the cinnamon-haired girl looked up at her, furrowed brows and face drenched in tears. “you are such a comforting presence. fucking hell”

and lila giggled. like it really amused her. this fucking girl… “sorry. it’s just that i’ve never seen you cry in my whole life. does this have anything to do with that girl that was here yesterday?”

as ellie cries harder at the mention of you, her roomie nods, understanding. “right, so what happened? if you want to talk about it.”

honestly? ellie did. and she is glad that they talked because, after calling her a dumbass and many other things, lila actually gave her good advice. which helped her think about the two ideas she hoped would work because she couldn’t afford to actually lose you.

after a few hours, the first step was done and she couldn’t stop smiling and feeling the little feeling that was now blossoming on her chest: hope. after reading jesse’s text, telling her you accepted her gift.

which explains why she is now kicking her feet on the bed, giggling and ignoring how much of a fool she must be looking.

lila raises an eyebrow at the sudden happiness, contrasting to the conversation they had earlier. “whatever it is you are doing, never do it again.”

she rolls her eyes, still smiling “she accepted the weed!”

“who the fuck would deny free weed? anyway, i’m out again. don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.” she shoots a smirk in ellie’s direction — teasing, but there’s something in it that makes ellie want to vanish into her bedsheets.

you’ve already tried all the clothes in your fucking closet and nothing seems good enough. you hate this feeling of having to go somewhere you don’t know what to expect or what to wear to. you don’t want to overdress! or underdress! dina and jesse could have hinted you what to wear.

sighing, you wondered if ellie was going through this too — yes, in fact she changed her clothes four times before her friends dragged her out of her bedroom or she would be late. you just couldn’t stop thinking about her. like you’ve been doing all day. and all week.

yes, you are, indeed, still very sad and embarrassed. but a lot of other feelings are there too, making sure you can feel all of them at once. how thoughtful. the human mind is so great.

finally, you settle with an outfit that you like and feel comfortable in, too tired to keep overthinking everything. today was… draining. you just hope whatever it is that waits for you in the rooftop doesn’t make things worse. but something tells you it won’t.

as you leave your apartment, the cold breeze makes you shiver slightly. winter is almost coming, which makes you happy. you love everything about it, snow, the holidays, hot chocolate with marshmallows, boots, beanies. it’s just a very cozy season to you.

the way towards college is soothing, even if your heart drums in your ears loudly in anticipation. you really hope you can see ellie soon, even if you are afraid to do so. you live near the campus, so it doesn’t take too long until you are quickly climbing the stairs, aiming for the main building rooftop.

what you do realize is that the building is way more packed than it should be. as you reach the 4th floor, your eyes catch this big poster that you seemed to ignore before. you had to double check to know if you were seeing it right. the words ‘talent show’ written on it in big, bold letters. what the actual fuck.

you had totally forgotten that this was tonight. that’s because you didn’t really pay attention to these things, normally. and you don’t see why ellie would, either.

she’s nervously bouncing her knee as she seats on the parapet next to the stage. well, it is a small one, really. built exclusively for this event. she didn’t know that so many people would be there when she submitted her name last-minute. but now it’s too late to back off.

and when she sees you arriving the rooftop, searching for her, she knows she did the right thing. you don’t look at her right away. but then you do. and she’s already with her eyes locked on you, a soft smile on her lips. ellie couldn’t be more relieved to see that you actually came. that you are there, staring at her and she almost giggles when you bite back a smile. oh, you think you are so smooth.

you clear your throat. you are sad and mad and disappointed! act like it, damn. but it’s hard when you see those green eyes you like so much. you find a seat, one that is close to the cute stage. you wait for her to come and sit down next to you, furrowing your brows when you see her grabbing her guitar — which you haven’t noticed before, too lost on her pretty features — and walking to the stage. no fucking way.

there’s something else you notice now that you let your eyes roam through her figure. she’s wearing a deftones t-shirt, short sleeved. her tattoo on display. some grey loose jeans and all-stars. just like she would dress if she was at one of her shifts on firefly. but she’s not wearing a face mask and her mullet is down.

it’s her. really her, not hiding, not trying to go unnoticed. it’s like she’s telling you that she won’t be someone she’s not anymore. she’s being herself, not college ellie, not miller. just ellie williams.

your heart nearly stops. she’s all you can see, like there is just you and her there. you don’t even pay attention as someone introduces her as the first one to perform. you miss how the boy says that she actually asked to be the first one. she wanted to be there when you arrived at 8 o’clock.

and she is. sitting down at the center of the stage, her gaze never leaving yours. that you don’t miss. not even the tiniest moves she makes, you catch them all. your attention is solely on her, just like she craved it to be. it’s overwhelming. all ellie wants to do is close the distance between you. but she takes a deep breath, striking the first chords as she starts singing.

“talking away. i don’t know what i’m to say, i’ll say it anyway.”

it takes your breath away. her voice is so beautiful. you always thought so. how it would send shivers down your spine every time she talked. but hearing her sing? a whole other level.

“today’s another day to find you. shying away… i’ll be coming for your love, okay”

everything else have turned into white noise. it’s just you and her. she is not just singing to you, she is singing about you. you sit there, hands clutching the hem of your jacket, feeling your chest tighten with every word.

you don’t know what it is. maybe it’s the fact that she keeps looking directly at you the whole time. or how the lyrics sound so genuine coming out of her lips and carving your heart deeply. permanently. or if it’s how pretty she looks in the dim lights of the rooftop.

you just know that, in that moment, any doubts you could ever had about her are long gone. buried, forgiven.

because no one has ever made you feel so special and so cherished before. not like she’s doing right now.

the way you smile at her and the way you look at her are enough for her to keep singing ‘take on me’ by a-ha without any struggles. it’s coming from the bottom of her heart and all she feels in this moment is you. all her eyes can see is you. all her heart craves for is you. it’s always been you.

and it’s always been her. no matter what came with it, a boy’s name or her discreet persona in class. it was her all along.

she is the one you’ve fallen for.

posted earlier cause you asked here you go!! so… next chapter is also the last one. tell me what you are thinking i love to read your comments!

previous next

taglist!

thank you for the support babies, hope you enjoy it!

@marirxse @yashirawr @vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn

[loovser]

biiitvh you got me hooked on the story, got me giggling and kicking my feet with the new chapter🤭 cannot wait for the next one pookie pie🙂‍↕️

omg im so glad bby thank you for the support 🩷 it’ll be out until sunday i promise

[loovser]

heyy queen do you maybe wanna post chapter 4 early 😁😁

since i wont be working on thursday and friday… i MIGHT… but no promises bby 😓

[loovser]

no way it ended like that 😭😭😭😭 when we getting chapter 4 please???

im so soooorry!! on sunday bby! will post something for you guys before that tho 🙂‍↕️

[loovser]

so glad bby thank uuu for the support 💘

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 3

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

wc: 4,2k

cw: ellie is a total loser omg i need her, fluff, get rid of miller already ellie is better, overthinking, these bitches are gay asf, slow burn, flirting and um.. angst. also fuck you lila!!!!

the strawberries were now completely gone. they were sweet, so sweet you barely registered eating the whole thing in less than 30 minutes. but that also may be due to the fact that you were… busy in the meantime.

you were making a playlist. for ellie. well, miller — we’ve been through that already. you just really appreciated her gesture of giving you your favorite fruit. that’s all! it’s not like you are actually falling for her or something. cause that would be crazy! right…?

shaking your thoughts away, you look through the playlist again. there were a lot of songs she mentioned she liked. some that you thought she would like. this is kinda nerve-wracking. you wanted it to be the perfect thing for her to listen to anytime. and all the time.

because she was consuming your mind all the damn time. you kept thinking about the day you spent together. the tension that was always there, almost too much to bear. it could snap at any moment, really. you haven’t even known her for a week yet — technically you’ve been sharing classes with her for 4 months now, but who’s counting?

she is. because you are all she can think about as well. everything about you is just perfect for her. she is mesmerized by everything you do. everything you say. the way your hair frames your face so prettily. the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about the things you like. the way your cheeks get slightly pink when she flirts with you.

it’s almost infuriating how much you affect her without realizing. and it makes her sick to her stomach when she thinks about telling you the truth. the truth that is now running away from her and from you, more and more, as you get tangled on each other. she can’t stop feeling like shit whenever you are not around. physically, because mentally?

you are always there.

she sighs, still thinking about the message you sent her once you opened the gift.

you (7:45) omg. you’re actually the fucking best.

that was hours ago. three hours ago and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. she literally kicked her feet and giggled when she read it the first time. im actually the fucking loser. she should be asleep. first thing she has tomorrow morning at school?

VFX class. why the hell do they have to schedule this class twice during the week? yes, there are a lot of complicated and extensive things to be taught… and it was one of her favorite classes… but just thinking about seeing you again and not being able to talk to you was killing her.

she wonders how much more she can handle without totally blowing this all up. without making a mistake or saying the wrong thing and making you find out about the truth. her phone buzzing takes her out of her thoughts.

it’s a message from you. her heart races.

you (11:52) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pcARou6l7BtoiGSlAfjEp?si=OAzV49VjS46eY88uJWG_xw&pi=j9HJeil2TTmH7

she made me a playlist?! ellie nearly drops her phone. she clicks it. it reads ‘for miller’. there’s a picture of a starry night. the description says ‘yes, that’s my window.’ you took the picture for it? of a sky full of stars?

she sighs, trying to contain herself. you just keep getting sweeter. she keeps on drowning in you, losing herself in the vastness of you that lives in her mind — and in her heart. seeing that, somehow, you associated her with stars made her nerdy brain short-circuit.

if there’s something ellie loves more than music, it’s the space. and everything that’s in it. from galaxies, to planets, to stars. it fascinates her. ever since she was little she has been in love with it. she dreamed of being an astronaut, traveling through celestial bodies. it’s not really how it works, she knows that now.

but it will always be a part of her. a big one. something she could talk about for hours, days even. and you managed to see it in her, somehow. you, without realizing, put both of her biggest passions in the same place. something that you made for her. the three things she’s always thinking about: music, astronomy and you.

she tried not to read too much into it. it was hard. she was trying to decypher all the lyrics, wondering if you meant something else from some of the songs. maybe she was going crazy. what should she answer? there wasn’t enough words to tell you how much she loved it.

she knew exactly what would, though. so she made you a playlist too. but she didn’t send you, not yet. she wanted to see your reaction, your face, when she sends you the link. guess this will have to wait till tomorrow.

in the darkness of her childhood bedroom, she falls asleep. between her sick habit and savage starlight posters, the solitude she doesn’t have in her college dorm, and in the loud beats of the playlist you made her, she finds peace. hoping she won’t have sleep paralysis from listening to these songs until she sleeps.

you plop down on your seat. the classroom is still empty, there’s just you and a few people seating on the front rows. apparently, miller left you on read. you wanted to just not care about it cause maybe he just fell asleep? or he was busy?

but you do, already thinking of all the possibilities of what could’ve happened. was it too much? did you overstep? you see someone approaching the seat next to yours. looking up, you see her. ellie.

you haven’t seen her since last friday, when she was kind enough to get your earbud for you. there is something about her that makes you nervous. your gaze meets hers and you smile softly at her.

she almost panicks. she smiles back at you but she’s sure she must look ridiculous, trying hard not to blush or look flustered in your presence. it looks more like a flat smile. but you find it cute anyway.

now what’s up with that? why do i find her cute? you nearly groan in frustration. lately things are… weird. you don’t even know anymore what you are into or not. it’s been consuming you, all this miller and ellie situation. there’s no denying that you are attracted to both of them. but that’s all. surely!

and why does it matter, anyway? just let things happen. thinking like this eases your anxieties a little and you relax in your seat. you check your phone. it’s 8:06 a.m. class is getting full.

taking advantage of the fact that you are on your phone, ellie quickly opens her chat with you and sends you the link of the playlist she made you, shoving her phone back on her bag right away.

she bites down a smile when she hears your gasp.

you can’t believe it. that’s what took him so long to reply? you smile widely, opening it. the title is your name. simple, but it says a lot. there are lots of sick habit. ‘i was made for loving you’ by kiss catches your attention. not as much as ‘wonderwall’ by oasis. you don’t want to make assumptions, but some songs really… speak for themselves.

as you are immersed into the playlist, ellie keeps watching you. she tries to be smooth with it but some students almost laugh at how she’s straight staring at you. the way you can’t stop smiling is enough for her to not give a fuck if anyone sees her like this right now.

but Mr. Barbosa arrives, forcing her — and you, unfortunately — to finally pay attention to class. you steal a few glances at ellie, as time passes. she looks pretty today, too. wearing a forest green long sleeved shirt and skinny jeans. how does she look so good in those?

then, you remember the paper you have yet to finish. turns out it will be part of a bigger project, so you didn’t really have to turn it in last week. but you have to find a partner for it and it can’t be your friends, since they are also majoring in film.

without thinking too much about it, you turn to ellie.

“hey, um… are you doing that project with someone already?”

for a moment, she thought she was dreaming. hearing your voice again, so close to her. your eyes on her. shit, gotta answer.

“no. not yet, are you?” she tries her best to seem nonchalant about it and not act like her heart is about to explode. even if it is.

“no, i was thinking… maybe we could do it together?”

ellie blinks. it hits her like a train. the way you asked it so sweetly, almost like you were shy. she is sure she’s blushing now. this gay shit is so hard. she exhales, lips slightly parted as she manages to get the words out “yeah, sure. cool.”

you chuckle, finding her cute. again. the flat words that came out of her mouth almost too quickly, her pink-tinted cheeks. the way her freckles look when she blushes and how her green eyes widened a bit when you asked her to be your partner.

ellie forces herself to look away from you when you chuckle. or she would drool. her arm accidentally pushes her savage starlight comic to the floor, next to you, which catched your attention.

it happens so fast. when you lean down and touch it, she does it too, at the same time. her fingers brush against yours as you reach for it together. you look up and she is already looking at you. you’ve never been so close to her before. am i stuck in a sapphic tumblr fanfiction or what?

you grab the comic, clearing your throat as you hand it to her. “oh, isn’t it that space comic thing?”

she composes herself, getting it from your hand, murmuring a ‘thank you’. she looks at it, preparing herself to be called a nerd and whatever you might think of people who read these stuff. “yeah, um, it’s really cool.”

“i bet it is… i read one, once. there was this dr. daniela something? she’s badass” you point out.

“dr. daniela star?” she asks, dumbfounded “she is one of my favorite characters!”

“you have great taste then” you chuckle at her enthusiasm and she smiles.

“oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.” did i say that out loud? you always make her feel so comfortable to be herself that she doesn’t realize what is actually coming out of her mouth.

“you could show me, then.” ellie’s not even sure what you are talking about anymore. her brain’s half-melted from the sound of your voice alone. “while we do the project, i would like to hear more about it.”

oh, righttttt. savage starlight. she nods, grinning. “just let me know if i get too carried away.”

you chuckle “i don’t think i would mind. but sure! when are you free to meet up and start it?”

“i’m free after class. i think my roomate won’t be around, so, if it’s okay with you, we can do it there.”

“sounds good, ellie” you smile. and she nearly passes out at her name leaving your lips. “can you give me your number? so we can talk about the details”

shit. shitshitshit. “umm… my number?” she chuckles, nervously. you nod, unaware that you already have it. “i d-don’t have it” she blurts out.

“you don’t have… a phone?” you frown, confused.

oh god kill me now. “yeah! i mean- no! i mean, i do, i just broke it so… it’s broken! very broken.”

“oh… makes sense now” you laugh.

it echoes in her head over and over. what a beautiful sound.

“yeah… but you can go there, like, around 3? i’ll be waiting for you.“

“sure! i’ll be there.”

she smiles at yours words. “great. my dorm’s number is 333.”

tidying up her part of the room was hard. not that she wasn’t organized… well that’s actually the case. don’t get her wrong: ellie hates dirty things. she’s very clean. but when it comes to organizing? it gets messy.

there were a lot of comics spread on her desk, her bed… even one lost in the bathroom. her action figures? everywhere. her roomate, lila, would complain about it all the time. but really, what wouldn’t she complain about?

there were even some papers on the other bed that she just throw into her roomie’s drawer, making sure to put everything in its place. she also made sure that things were clean.

she put the dirty clothes basket into the closet, just to make sure you wouldn’t see it and organized her shelves full of books, comics and action figures.

and you? well, there you are. dorm 333. at 3 p.m. you take a deep breath, watching the wooden door, like it’s going to knock on itself. you don’t even know why you are so nervous. you are just going to start your project. relax, damn.

taking a deep breath, you knock. from the other side of the door, ellie murmurs a rushed ‘shit’ and tries to compose herself. when she opens it, you take in her figure. her auburn mullet is half up, she is wearing a black tight long sleeved top and grey sweatpants. minecraft socks on her feet.

she looks so good you have to stop yourself from staring and looking like a creep. her toned arms can be noticed due to the tight fabric of the shirt, hugging them perfectly, and you feel dizzy. gladly, you snap out of it “hi! nice socks”

ellie laughs, cheeks blushing slightly. crap, i forgot those were on. “yeah, well, i am very stylish. as you can see.” she gives you some space, gesturing for you to come in.

“of course. you gotta remember me when you become the it girl on new york’s fashion week.” you tease.

she scoffs, playfully. like i could ever forget about you. you just stare at each other for a second and she rubs the back of her neck, nervous. “i’d lose my mind with all that attention.”

like she’s almost doing right now, alone with you. your attention is all on her. “you don’t like attention, huh?” you chuckle, looking around her dorm.

it’s so easy to say which half is hers. the wall is full of posters, from nirvana to savage starlight ones. her bed is kind of messy, the fuzzy spider-man blanket all wrinkled.

“depends on who’s attention i’m getting.” her tone is… silky, but it hits you hard and you look at her face. there’s a hint of a smirk on her lips. a shiver runs down your spine. is she flirting with me?

did i just flirt with her?! she facepalms herself mentally, plopping down on her bed while she holds your gaze, trying to look nonchalant. but she is not. her brain is almost turning off. she’s fidgeting her fingers.

“only selected people have the honour of you liking their attention, then?” you chuckle, seating next to her. your thighs brush and ellie swears she might pass out.

her knee bounces once before she catches herself. stop it. act normal. you are warm and she can feel it even with your clothes’s fabric in the way. “you could say that.” she grabs her laptop, putting it on her lap.

“am i one of them?” you ask, teasingly. her heart nearly stops. she didn’t expect you to be so bold. but she likes it. a lot. her grip on the electronic device tightens, but you don’t notice.

what you notice is how her already pink-tinted cheeks darken even more. you like the effect you have on her. isn’t it funny how miller didn’t even cross your mind, not even once? well, that is until you spot a sick habit cd on her desk.

“oh my god!” you say as you get up and she thanks the universe for not having to answer to your question. she would stutter so hard. “you like them too?”

she watched you, smiling at your enthusiasm. after all, she is the one who recommended them to you. “i love them. they are my favorite band.”

“you are really… something else, ellie.” your words are genuine. you just think she is so cool. and cute. and pretty. and just… not afraid to be herself? like, using minecraft socks or reading comic books during class. telling you how the song you were listening to was good.

if ellie knew you perceived her that way, she would go crazy. how can you see herself for what she truly is when all she does is try to stay low and not catch anyone’s attention in college? how can you understand her when you know how she is outside of that place too?

“have you met you?” is all she manages to say. from admiring you from her seat since she saw you for the first time in class, to really getting to know you, she couldn’t help herself. she was really falling for you, deeper and deeper. im fucked.

you smile widely at her. like you did earlier in class, when she sent you the playlist. her heart aches on her chest. you put the cd on the player, and ‘of two minds’ by sick habit starts to play.

“it’ll be more fun if we do it listening to them, don’t you think?” you tilt your head slightly, asking her. you sit next to her on her bed again.

she couldn’t say no to you. not when you were right there, next to her. not when she could feel your thigh against hers. not when she could sense the smell of your shampoo. “definitely.“

“i told you i wanted you to show me how great your taste is. didn’t i?”

the innuendo in your sentence makes her shiver. the tension in the room is palpable. almost too much to bare. you smirk. when you do, her breath hitches in her throat. “ain’t i showing you enough?” she murmurs, hoping that you would say no.

it lingers between you. this feeling, this moment. your closeness. which seems to be increasing by each second. you get lost into her green eyes. they are so… familiar.

she moves her hand towards your face, hesitantly. when it cups you cheek, you lean into her touch. her fingers are calloused, but the way they caress your skin is soft. there isn’t a second where your eyes leave hers, or hers leave yours.

her heart is racing so fast. she wanted to do that for so long. to feel your skin, to touch you. to have you this close. to see your eyes sparkling at her, the way it does now. at her, truly. not at her in the cd shop where you think she’s a guy. it feels surreal.

until her dorm’s door is yanked open and her roomate barges in, startling both of you. as you get away from each other, lila doesn’t even look at you, apparently looking for something on her bed.

hiding your frustration, you just keep quiet. you almost kissed ellie. should you feel bad? because you really don’t. yes you’ve been talking to someone… flirting with him. exchanging playlists. but it’s nothing serious yet. right?

ellie sighs “what the fuck, lila?” she puts her laptop down on the bed, a hand in her heart as she recovers from it. from you.

“i forgot my essay. shit, where is it? did you touch what was on my bed, ellie?” her rude tone made you frown.

“yeah, it’s in your drawer.” she gets up to open the drawer she referred to, but the other girl rushes in and opens it herself.

“don’t ever touch my things again.” lila says, grabbing her papers and slamming the door when she leaves.

there’s a beat of silence.

“she’s so lovely.” you say, breaking the ice. ellie laughs, coming back to her bed, next to you. she’s so pretty when she laughs.

“yeah, um, i didn’t think she would show up. sorry about that…”

you squeeze her shoulder gently, as if to comfort her. “it’s not your fault. don’t worry.”

her anxieties crumble when you do that. she takes a deep breath, trying not to focus on your touch so much. she smiles at you. “right. for the project, um, have you made the first part?”

as you started talking about the project and what you had in mind for it, both of you tried ignoring the tension that never seemed to fade away. every excuse you had for touching each other was being taking advantage of.

like when you showed her some references of what you thought would be good, leaning closer to her to show it on the laptop’s screen. or when she asked you for one of your colorful markers to sketch something in her journal and her touch on your finger lingered for a little longer.

not to mention the way you were staring at each other, the eye contact almost making you go insane. the little shy chuckles that left your mouths. ellie needed to breathe or else she would do something stupid.

every second she spent next to you, every glance you threw her way, every accidental brush of your hands. it was like something was being carved into her, slowly, softly, permanently.

and when you laughed at one of her dumb jokes about how the main character in savage starlight would be a terrible film director, she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

you made her feel like she was in orbit, like everything else was just distant starlight, and you were the only thing real and glowing.

at some point, the work stopped being the focus. pages sat open, notes abandoned mid-sentence. the music played on, faintly into the background, the sound of your heartbeats louder to your ears.

you caught her staring again and she looked away quickly, biting her lip. "you are really bad at pretending you're not staring" you teased softly.

ellie choked on a laugh "says you."

you grinned, leaning back on your hands, your thigh still pressed to hers. “fair enough.”

another silence. not a bad one. just a moment where you both are too lost on each other and at the growing feeling that makes your stomaches twist. in the dim light of her dorm, she aches at the way you shine at her.

“hey, um, i am gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” she announces. you nod, briefly looking up at her and flashing her a smile.

her sleeves were pushed up slightly and you could see something on her right arm. her inked skin. you were not sure what the drawing was, but it was definitely a tattoo. sometimes you thought about how many similarities she has with… no. stop, you are being crazy.

you rest against the wall, still sitting on the same spot of her bed. you run your hand through the fuzzy blanket to ground yourself. but it accidentaly touches something hard under her pillow. you frown.

deciding to see what it is, you lift the pillow and you see it. her phone. the broken one? doesn’t seem broken at all. what if im not being crazy? is the question that keeps popping in your head.

those were just… coincidences. right? you didn’t even see ellie’s full tattoo. many people gets tattoos on their right arm! that’s normal. and her eyes… well miller is not the only person allowed to have green eyes. obviously.

you shouldn’t be checking her phone. it’s her personal stuff. but you do. you click the button on its right side and the screen lits up. there’s a song already halfway through. it’s paused. you recognize it, ‘californication’ by red hot chili peppers.

it’s a banger. everybody listen to it, don’t they? so what if you put that into the playlist you made for miller? it doesn’t mean anything.

until it does. when you skip to the next song, it’s ‘pour some sugar on me’ by def leppard. the next one? ‘cherry waves’ by deftones. no…

you are on the verge of breaking down. you open your spotify, searching for the playlist. your fingers tremble as you click on it. you check the order. it’s the same. it can’t be.

you skip again. ‘even flow’ by pearl jam. the first tear falls. you go backwards, seeing if the song before californication is what you think it is. you check it on your phone first.

then, you touch the button to the previous song on her phone. ‘heart-shaped box’ by nirvana. that’s all the confirmation you need.

so many feelings rush through your body. it’s overwhelming. embarassment, betrayal, humiliation… it’s too much. the tension snapped and took you with it.

as ellie finishes cleaning her face and taking deep breaths, she hears some noises. she can’t identify what they are. so she opens the door to her room.

you are not there anymore. what is, though? her phone. what is this doing here? i though i hid-

that’s when she knows. you found out.

previous

taglist!

thank you for the support babes, hope you like it 💘

@vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn

[loovser]

IM SORRRYYYYYY

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 3

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

wc: 4,2k

cw: ellie is a total loser omg i need her, fluff, get rid of miller already ellie is better, overthinking, these bitches are gay asf, slow burn, flirting and um.. angst. also fuck you lila!!!!

the strawberries were now completely gone. they were sweet, so sweet you barely registered eating the whole thing in less than 30 minutes. but that also may be due to the fact that you were… busy in the meantime.

you were making a playlist. for ellie. well, miller — we’ve been through that already. you just really appreciated her gesture of giving you your favorite fruit. that’s all! it’s not like you are actually falling for her or something. cause that would be crazy! right…?

shaking your thoughts away, you look through the playlist again. there were a lot of songs she mentioned she liked. some that you thought she would like. this is kinda nerve-wracking. you wanted it to be the perfect thing for her to listen to anytime. and all the time.

because she was consuming your mind all the damn time. you kept thinking about the day you spent together. the tension that was always there, almost too much to bear. it could snap at any moment, really. you haven’t even known her for a week yet — technically you’ve been sharing classes with her for 4 months now, but who’s counting?

she is. because you are all she can think about as well. everything about you is just perfect for her. she is mesmerized by everything you do. everything you say. the way your hair frames your face so prettily. the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about the things you like. the way your cheeks get slightly pink when she flirts with you.

it’s almost infuriating how much you affect her without realizing. and it makes her sick to her stomach when she thinks about telling you the truth. the truth that is now running away from her and from you, more and more, as you get tangled on each other. she can’t stop feeling like shit whenever you are not around. physically, because mentally?

you are always there.

she sighs, still thinking about the message you sent her once you opened the gift.

you (7:45) omg. you’re actually the fucking best.

that was hours ago. three hours ago and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. she literally kicked her feet and giggled when she read it the first time. im actually the fucking loser. she should be asleep. first thing she has tomorrow morning at school?

VFX class. why the hell do they have to schedule this class twice during the week? yes, there are a lot of complicated and extensive things to be taught… and it was one of her favorite classes… but just thinking about seeing you again and not being able to talk to you was killing her.

she wonders how much more she can handle without totally blowing this all up. without making a mistake or saying the wrong thing and making you find out about the truth. her phone buzzing takes her out of her thoughts.

it’s a message from you. her heart races.

you (11:52) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pcARou6l7BtoiGSlAfjEp?si=OAzV49VjS46eY88uJWG_xw&pi=j9HJeil2TTmH7

she made me a playlist?! ellie nearly drops her phone. she clicks it. it reads ‘for miller’. there’s a picture of a starry night. the description says ‘yes, that’s my window.’ you took the picture for it? of a sky full of stars?

she sighs, trying to contain herself. you just keep getting sweeter. she keeps on drowning in you, losing herself in the vastness of you that lives in her mind — and in her heart. seeing that, somehow, you associated her with stars made her nerdy brain short-circuit.

if there’s something ellie loves more than music, it’s the space. and everything that’s in it. from galaxies, to planets, to stars. it fascinates her. ever since she was little she has been in love with it. she dreamed of being an astronaut, traveling through celestial bodies. it’s not really how it works, she knows that now.

but it will always be a part of her. a big one. something she could talk about for hours, days even. and you managed to see it in her, somehow. you, without realizing, put both of her biggest passions in the same place. something that you made for her. the three things she’s always thinking about: music, astronomy and you.

she tried not to read too much into it. it was hard. she was trying to decypher all the lyrics, wondering if you meant something else from some of the songs. maybe she was going crazy. what should she answer? there wasn’t enough words to tell you how much she loved it.

she knew exactly what would, though. so she made you a playlist too. but she didn’t send you, not yet. she wanted to see your reaction, your face, when she sends you the link. guess this will have to wait till tomorrow.

in the darkness of her childhood bedroom, she falls asleep. between her sick habit and savage starlight posters, the solitude she doesn’t have in her college dorm, and in the loud beats of the playlist you made her, she finds peace. hoping she won’t have sleep paralysis from listening to these songs until she sleeps.

you plop down on your seat. the classroom is still empty, there’s just you and a few people seating on the front rows. apparently, miller left you on read. you wanted to just not care about it cause maybe he just fell asleep? or he was busy?

but you do, already thinking of all the possibilities of what could’ve happened. was it too much? did you overstep? you see someone approaching the seat next to yours. looking up, you see her. ellie.

you haven’t seen her since last friday, when she was kind enough to get your earbud for you. there is something about her that makes you nervous. your gaze meets hers and you smile softly at her.

she almost panicks. she smiles back at you but she’s sure she must look ridiculous, trying hard not to blush or look flustered in your presence. it looks more like a flat smile. but you find it cute anyway.

now what’s up with that? why do i find her cute? you nearly groan in frustration. lately things are… weird. you don’t even know anymore what you are into or not. it’s been consuming you, all this miller and ellie situation. there’s no denying that you are attracted to both of them. but that’s all. surely!

and why does it matter, anyway? just let things happen. thinking like this eases your anxieties a little and you relax in your seat. you check your phone. it’s 8:06 a.m. class is getting full.

taking advantage of the fact that you are on your phone, ellie quickly opens her chat with you and sends you the link of the playlist she made you, shoving her phone back on her bag right away.

she bites down a smile when she hears your gasp.

you can’t believe it. that’s what took him so long to reply? you smile widely, opening it. the title is your name. simple, but it says a lot. there are lots of sick habit. ‘i was made for loving you’ by kiss catches your attention. not as much as ‘wonderwall’ by oasis. you don’t want to make assumptions, but some songs really… speak for themselves.

as you are immersed into the playlist, ellie keeps watching you. she tries to be smooth with it but some students almost laugh at how she’s straight staring at you. the way you can’t stop smiling is enough for her to not give a fuck if anyone sees her like this right now.

but Mr. Barbosa arrives, forcing her — and you, unfortunately — to finally pay attention to class. you steal a few glances at ellie, as time passes. she looks pretty today, too. wearing a forest green long sleeved shirt and skinny jeans. how does she look so good in those?

then, you remember the paper you have yet to finish. turns out it will be part of a bigger project, so you didn’t really have to turn it in last week. but you have to find a partner for it and it can’t be your friends, since they are also majoring in film.

without thinking too much about it, you turn to ellie.

“hey, um… are you doing that project with someone already?”

for a moment, she thought she was dreaming. hearing your voice again, so close to her. your eyes on her. shit, gotta answer.

“no. not yet, are you?” she tries her best to seem nonchalant about it and not act like her heart is about to explode. even if it is.

“no, i was thinking… maybe we could do it together?”

ellie blinks. it hits her like a train. the way you asked it so sweetly, almost like you were shy. she is sure she’s blushing now. this gay shit is so hard. she exhales, lips slightly parted as she manages to get the words out “yeah, sure. cool.”

you chuckle, finding her cute. again. the flat words that came out of her mouth almost too quickly, her pink-tinted cheeks. the way her freckles look when she blushes and how her green eyes widened a bit when you asked her to be your partner.

ellie forces herself to look away from you when you chuckle. or she would drool. her arm accidentally pushes her savage starlight comic to the floor, next to you, which catched your attention.

it happens so fast. when you lean down and touch it, she does it too, at the same time. her fingers brush against yours as you reach for it together. you look up and she is already looking at you. you’ve never been so close to her before. am i stuck in a sapphic tumblr fanfiction or what?

you grab the comic, clearing your throat as you hand it to her. “oh, isn’t it that space comic thing?”

she composes herself, getting it from your hand, murmuring a ‘thank you’. she looks at it, preparing herself to be called a nerd and whatever you might think of people who read these stuff. “yeah, um, it’s really cool.”

“i bet it is… i read one, once. there was this dr. daniela something? she’s badass” you point out.

“dr. daniela star?” she asks, dumbfounded “she is one of my favorite characters!”

“you have great taste then” you chuckle at her enthusiasm and she smiles.

“oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.” did i say that out loud? you always make her feel so comfortable to be herself that she doesn’t realize what is actually coming out of her mouth.

“you could show me, then.” ellie’s not even sure what you are talking about anymore. her brain’s half-melted from the sound of your voice alone. “while we do the project, i would like to hear more about it.”

oh, righttttt. savage starlight. she nods, grinning. “just let me know if i get too carried away.”

you chuckle “i don’t think i would mind. but sure! when are you free to meet up and start it?”

“i’m free after class. i think my roomate won’t be around, so, if it’s okay with you, we can do it there.”

“sounds good, ellie” you smile. and she nearly passes out at her name leaving your lips. “can you give me your number? so we can talk about the details”

shit. shitshitshit. “umm… my number?” she chuckles, nervously. you nod, unaware that you already have it. “i d-don’t have it” she blurts out.

“you don’t have… a phone?” you frown, confused.

oh god kill me now. “yeah! i mean- no! i mean, i do, i just broke it so… it’s broken! very broken.”

“oh… makes sense now” you laugh.

it echoes in her head over and over. what a beautiful sound.

“yeah… but you can go there, like, around 3? i’ll be waiting for you.“

“sure! i’ll be there.”

she smiles at yours words. “great. my dorm’s number is 333.”

tidying up her part of the room was hard. not that she wasn’t organized… well that’s actually the case. don’t get her wrong: ellie hates dirty things. she’s very clean. but when it comes to organizing? it gets messy.

there were a lot of comics spread on her desk, her bed… even one lost in the bathroom. her action figures? everywhere. her roomate, lila, would complain about it all the time. but really, what wouldn’t she complain about?

there were even some papers on the other bed that she just throw into her roomie’s drawer, making sure to put everything in its place. she also made sure that things were clean.

she put the dirty clothes basket into the closet, just to make sure you wouldn’t see it and organized her shelves full of books, comics and action figures.

and you? well, there you are. dorm 333. at 3 p.m. you take a deep breath, watching the wooden door, like it’s going to knock on itself. you don’t even know why you are so nervous. you are just going to start your project. relax, damn.

taking a deep breath, you knock. from the other side of the door, ellie murmurs a rushed ‘shit’ and tries to compose herself. when she opens it, you take in her figure. her auburn mullet is half up, she is wearing a black tight long sleeved top and grey sweatpants. minecraft socks on her feet.

she looks so good you have to stop yourself from staring and looking like a creep. her toned arms can be noticed due to the tight fabric of the shirt, hugging them perfectly, and you feel dizzy. gladly, you snap out of it “hi! nice socks”

ellie laughs, cheeks blushing slightly. crap, i forgot those were on. “yeah, well, i am very stylish. as you can see.” she gives you some space, gesturing for you to come in.

“of course. you gotta remember me when you become the it girl on new york’s fashion week.” you tease.

she scoffs, playfully. like i could ever forget about you. you just stare at each other for a second and she rubs the back of her neck, nervous. “i’d lose my mind with all that attention.”

like she’s almost doing right now, alone with you. your attention is all on her. “you don’t like attention, huh?” you chuckle, looking around her dorm.

it’s so easy to say which half is hers. the wall is full of posters, from nirvana to savage starlight ones. her bed is kind of messy, the fuzzy spider-man blanket all wrinkled.

��depends on who’s attention i’m getting.” her tone is… silky, but it hits you hard and you look at her face. there’s a hint of a smirk on her lips. a shiver runs down your spine. is she flirting with me?

did i just flirt with her?! she facepalms herself mentally, plopping down on her bed while she holds your gaze, trying to look nonchalant. but she is not. her brain is almost turning off. she’s fidgeting her fingers.

“only selected people have the honour of you liking their attention, then?” you chuckle, seating next to her. your thighs brush and ellie swears she might pass out.

her knee bounces once before she catches herself. stop it. act normal. you are warm and she can feel it even with your clothes’s fabric in the way. “you could say that.” she grabs her laptop, putting it on her lap.

“am i one of them?” you ask, teasingly. her heart nearly stops. she didn’t expect you to be so bold. but she likes it. a lot. her grip on the electronic device tightens, but you don’t notice.

what you notice is how her already pink-tinted cheeks darken even more. you like the effect you have on her. isn’t it funny how miller didn’t even cross your mind, not even once? well, that is until you spot a sick habit cd on her desk.

“oh my god!” you say as you get up and she thanks the universe for not having to answer to your question. she would stutter so hard. “you like them too?”

she watched you, smiling at your enthusiasm. after all, she is the one who recommended them to you. “i love them. they are my favorite band.”

“you are really… something else, ellie.” your words are genuine. you just think she is so cool. and cute. and pretty. and just… not afraid to be herself? like, using minecraft socks or reading comic books during class. telling you how the song you were listening to was good.

if ellie knew you perceived her that way, she would go crazy. how can you see herself for what she truly is when all she does is try to stay low and not catch anyone’s attention in college? how can you understand her when you know how she is outside of that place too?

“have you met you?” is all she manages to say. from admiring you from her seat since she saw you for the first time in class, to really getting to know you, she couldn’t help herself. she was really falling for you, deeper and deeper. im fucked.

you smile widely at her. like you did earlier in class, when she sent you the playlist. her heart aches on her chest. you put the cd on the player, and ‘of two minds’ by sick habit starts to play.

“it’ll be more fun if we do it listening to them, don’t you think?” you tilt your head slightly, asking her. you sit next to her on her bed again.

she couldn’t say no to you. not when you were right there, next to her. not when she could feel your thigh against hers. not when she could sense the smell of your shampoo. “definitely.“

“i told you i wanted you to show me how great your taste is. didn’t i?”

the innuendo in your sentence makes her shiver. the tension in the room is palpable. almost too much to bare. you smirk. when you do, her breath hitches in her throat. “ain’t i showing you enough?” she murmurs, hoping that you would say no.

it lingers between you. this feeling, this moment. your closeness. which seems to be increasing by each second. you get lost into her green eyes. they are so… familiar.

she moves her hand towards your face, hesitantly. when it cups you cheek, you lean into her touch. her fingers are calloused, but the way they caress your skin is soft. there isn’t a second where your eyes leave hers, or hers leave yours.

her heart is racing so fast. she wanted to do that for so long. to feel your skin, to touch you. to have you this close. to see your eyes sparkling at her, the way it does now. at her, truly. not at her in the cd shop where you think she’s a guy. it feels surreal.

until her dorm’s door is yanked open and her roomate barges in, startling both of you. as you get away from each other, lila doesn’t even look at you, apparently looking for something on her bed.

hiding your frustration, you just keep quiet. you almost kissed ellie. should you feel bad? because you really don’t. yes you’ve been talking to someone… flirting with him. exchanging playlists. but it’s nothing serious yet. right?

ellie sighs “what the fuck, lila?” she puts her laptop down on the bed, a hand in her heart as she recovers from it. from you.

“i forgot my essay. shit, where is it? did you touch what was on my bed, ellie?” her rude tone made you frown.

“yeah, it’s in your drawer.” she gets up to open the drawer she referred to, but the other girl rushes in and opens it herself.

“don’t ever touch my things again.” lila says, grabbing her papers and slamming the door when she leaves.

there’s a beat of silence.

“she’s so lovely.” you say, breaking the ice. ellie laughs, coming back to her bed, next to you. she’s so pretty when she laughs.

“yeah, um, i didn’t think she would show up. sorry about that…”

you squeeze her shoulder gently, as if to comfort her. “it’s not your fault. don’t worry.”

her anxieties crumble when you do that. she takes a deep breath, trying not to focus on your touch so much. she smiles at you. “right. for the project, um, have you made the first part?”

as you started talking about the project and what you had in mind for it, both of you tried ignoring the tension that never seemed to fade away. every excuse you had for touching each other was being taking advantage of.

like when you showed her some references of what you thought would be good, leaning closer to her to show it on the laptop’s screen. or when she asked you for one of your colorful markers to sketch something in her journal and her touch on your finger lingered for a little longer.

not to mention the way you were staring at each other, the eye contact almost making you go insane. the little shy chuckles that left your mouths. ellie needed to breathe or else she would do something stupid.

every second she spent next to you, every glance you threw her way, every accidental brush of your hands. it was like something was being carved into her, slowly, softly, permanently.

and when you laughed at one of her dumb jokes about how the main character in savage starlight would be a terrible film director, she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

you made her feel like she was in orbit, like everything else was just distant starlight, and you were the only thing real and glowing.

at some point, the work stopped being the focus. pages sat open, notes abandoned mid-sentence. the music played on, faintly into the background, the sound of your heartbeats louder to your ears.

you caught her staring again and she looked away quickly, biting her lip. "you are really bad at pretending you're not staring" you teased softly.

ellie choked on a laugh "says you."

you grinned, leaning back on your hands, your thigh still pressed to hers. “fair enough.”

another silence. not a bad one. just a moment where you both are too lost on each other and at the growing feeling that makes your stomaches twist. in the dim light of her dorm, she aches at the way you shine at her.

“hey, um, i am gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” she announces. you nod, briefly looking up at her and flashing her a smile.

her sleeves were pushed up slightly and you could see something on her right arm. her inked skin. you were not sure what the drawing was, but it was definitely a tattoo. sometimes you thought about how many similarities she has with… no. stop, you are being crazy.

you rest against the wall, still sitting on the same spot of her bed. you run your hand through the fuzzy blanket to ground yourself. but it accidentaly touches something hard under her pillow. you frown.

deciding to see what it is, you lift the pillow and you see it. her phone. the broken one? doesn’t seem broken at all. what if im not being crazy? is the question that keeps popping in your head.

those were just… coincidences. right? you didn’t even see ellie’s full tattoo. many people gets tattoos on their right arm! that’s normal. and her eyes… well miller is not the only person allowed to have green eyes. obviously.

you shouldn’t be checking her phone. it’s her personal stuff. but you do. you click the button on its right side and the screen lits up. there’s a song already halfway through. it’s paused. you recognize it, ‘californication’ by red hot chili peppers.

it’s a banger. everybody listen to it, don’t they? so what if you put that into the playlist you made for miller? it doesn’t mean anything.

until it does. when you skip to the next song, it’s ‘pour some sugar on me’ by def leppard. the next one? ‘cherry waves’ by deftones. no…

you are on the verge of breaking down. you open your spotify, searching for the playlist. your fingers tremble as you click on it. you check the order. it’s the same. it can’t be.

you skip again. ‘even flow’ by pearl jam. the first tear falls. you go backwards, seeing if the song before californication is what you think it is. you check it on your phone first.

then, you touch the button to the previous song on her phone. ‘heart-shaped box’ by nirvana. that’s all the confirmation you need.

so many feelings rush through your body. it’s overwhelming. embarassment, betrayal, humiliation… it’s too much. the tension snapped and took you with it.

as ellie finishes cleaning her face and taking deep breaths, she hears some noises. she can’t identify what they are. so she opens the door to her room.

you are not there anymore. what is, though? her phone. what is this doing here? i though i hid-

that’s when she knows. you found out.

previous

taglist!

thank you for the support babes, hope you like it 💘

@vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn

[loovser]

THAT ALMOST KISS ALMOST KILLED ME

IT ALMOST KILLED ME TOO TRUST ME

[loovser]

the guy she was interested in wasn’t a guy at all - chapter 3

synopsis turns out the cute guy from the cd store is actually… a girl.

wc: 4,2k

cw: ellie is a total loser omg i need her, fluff, get rid of miller already ellie is better, overthinking, these bitches are gay asf, slow burn, flirting and um.. angst. also fuck you lila!!!!

the strawberries were now completely gone. they were sweet, so sweet you barely registered eating the whole thing in less than 30 minutes. but that also may be due to the fact that you were… busy in the meantime.

you were making a playlist. for ellie. well, miller — we’ve been through that already. you just really appreciated her gesture of giving you your favorite fruit. that’s all! it’s not like you are actually falling for her or something. cause that would be crazy! right…?

shaking your thoughts away, you look through the playlist again. there were a lot of songs she mentioned she liked. some that you thought she would like. this is kinda nerve-wracking. you wanted it to be the perfect thing for her to listen to anytime. and all the time.

because she was consuming your mind all the damn time. you kept thinking about the day you spent together. the tension that was always there, almost too much to bear. it could snap at any moment, really. you haven’t even known her for a week yet — technically you’ve been sharing classes with her for 4 months now, but who’s counting?

she is. because you are all she can think about as well. everything about you is just perfect for her. she is mesmerized by everything you do. everything you say. the way your hair frames your face so prettily. the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about the things you like. the way your cheeks get slightly pink when she flirts with you.

it’s almost infuriating how much you affect her without realizing. and it makes her sick to her stomach when she thinks about telling you the truth. the truth that is now running away from her and from you, more and more, as you get tangled on each other. she can’t stop feeling like shit whenever you are not around. physically, because mentally?

you are always there.

she sighs, still thinking about the message you sent her once you opened the gift.

you (7:45) omg. you’re actually the fucking best.

that was hours ago. three hours ago and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. she literally kicked her feet and giggled when she read it the first time. im actually the fucking loser. she should be asleep. first thing she has tomorrow morning at school?

VFX class. why the hell do they have to schedule this class twice during the week? yes, there are a lot of complicated and extensive things to be taught… and it was one of her favorite classes… but just thinking about seeing you again and not being able to talk to you was killing her.

she wonders how much more she can handle without totally blowing this all up. without making a mistake or saying the wrong thing and making you find out about the truth. her phone buzzing takes her out of her thoughts.

it’s a message from you. her heart races.

you (11:52) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pcARou6l7BtoiGSlAfjEp?si=OAzV49VjS46eY88uJWG_xw&pi=j9HJeil2TTmH7

she made me a playlist?! ellie nearly drops her phone. she clicks it. it reads ‘for miller’. there’s a picture of a starry night. the description says ‘yes, that’s my window.’ you took the picture for it? of a sky full of stars?

she sighs, trying to contain herself. you just keep getting sweeter. she keeps on drowning in you, losing herself in the vastness of you that lives in her mind — and in her heart. seeing that, somehow, you associated her with stars made her nerdy brain short-circuit.

if there’s something ellie loves more than music, it’s the space. and everything that’s in it. from galaxies, to planets, to stars. it fascinates her. ever since she was little she has been in love with it. she dreamed of being an astronaut, traveling through celestial bodies. it’s not really how it works, she knows that now.

but it will always be a part of her. a big one. something she could talk about for hours, days even. and you managed to see it in her, somehow. you, without realizing, put both of her biggest passions in the same place. something that you made for her. the three things she’s always thinking about: music, astronomy and you.

she tried not to read too much into it. it was hard. she was trying to decypher all the lyrics, wondering if you meant something else from some of the songs. maybe she was going crazy. what should she answer? there wasn’t enough words to tell you how much she loved it.

she knew exactly what would, though. so she made you a playlist too. but she didn’t send you, not yet. she wanted to see your reaction, your face, when she sends you the link. guess this will have to wait till tomorrow.

in the darkness of her childhood bedroom, she falls asleep. between her sick habit and savage starlight posters, the solitude she doesn’t have in her college dorm, and in the loud beats of the playlist you made her, she finds peace. hoping she won’t have sleep paralysis from listening to these songs until she sleeps.

you plop down on your seat. the classroom is still empty, there’s just you and a few people seating on the front rows. apparently, miller left you on read. you wanted to just not care about it cause maybe he just fell asleep? or he was busy?

but you do, already thinking of all the possibilities of what could’ve happened. was it too much? did you overstep? you see someone approaching the seat next to yours. looking up, you see her. ellie.

you haven’t seen her since last friday, when she was kind enough to get your earbud for you. there is something about her that makes you nervous. your gaze meets hers and you smile softly at her.

she almost panicks. she smiles back at you but she’s sure she must look ridiculous, trying hard not to blush or look flustered in your presence. it looks more like a flat smile. but you find it cute anyway.

now what’s up with that? why do i find her cute? you nearly groan in frustration. lately things are… weird. you don’t even know anymore what you are into or not. it’s been consuming you, all this miller and ellie situation. there’s no denying that you are attracted to both of them. but that’s all. surely!

and why does it matter, anyway? just let things happen. thinking like this eases your anxieties a little and you relax in your seat. you check your phone. it’s 8:06 a.m. class is getting full.

taking advantage of the fact that you are on your phone, ellie quickly opens her chat with you and sends you the link of the playlist she made you, shoving her phone back on her bag right away.

she bites down a smile when she hears your gasp.

you can’t believe it. that’s what took him so long to reply? you smile widely, opening it. the title is your name. simple, but it says a lot. there are lots of sick habit. ‘i was made for loving you’ by kiss catches your attention. not as much as ‘wonderwall’ by oasis. you don’t want to make assumptions, but some songs really… speak for themselves.

as you are immersed into the playlist, ellie keeps watching you. she tries to be smooth with it but some students almost laugh at how she’s straight staring at you. the way you can’t stop smiling is enough for her to not give a fuck if anyone sees her like this right now.

but Mr. Barbosa arrives, forcing her — and you, unfortunately — to finally pay attention to class. you steal a few glances at ellie, as time passes. she looks pretty today, too. wearing a forest green long sleeved shirt and skinny jeans. how does she look so good in those?

then, you remember the paper you have yet to finish. turns out it will be part of a bigger project, so you didn’t really have to turn it in last week. but you have to find a partner for it and it can’t be your friends, since they are also majoring in film.

without thinking too much about it, you turn to ellie.

“hey, um… are you doing that project with someone already?”

for a moment, she thought she was dreaming. hearing your voice again, so close to her. your eyes on her. shit, gotta answer.

“no. not yet, are you?” she tries her best to seem nonchalant about it and not act like her heart is about to explode. even if it is.

“no, i was thinking… maybe we could do it together?”

ellie blinks. it hits her like a train. the way you asked it so sweetly, almost like you were shy. she is sure she’s blushing now. this gay shit is so hard. she exhales, lips slightly parted as she manages to get the words out “yeah, sure. cool.”

you chuckle, finding her cute. again. the flat words that came out of her mouth almost too quickly, her pink-tinted cheeks. the way her freckles look when she blushes and how her green eyes widened a bit when you asked her to be your partner.

ellie forces herself to look away from you when you chuckle. or she would drool. her arm accidentally pushes her savage starlight comic to the floor, next to you, which catched your attention.

it happens so fast. when you lean down and touch it, she does it too, at the same time. her fingers brush against yours as you reach for it together. you look up and she is already looking at you. you’ve never been so close to her before. am i stuck in a sapphic tumblr fanfiction or what?

you grab the comic, clearing your throat as you hand it to her. “oh, isn’t it that space comic thing?”

she composes herself, getting it from your hand, murmuring a ‘thank you’. she looks at it, preparing herself to be called a nerd and whatever you might think of people who read these stuff. “yeah, um, it’s really cool.”

“i bet it is… i read one, once. there was this dr. daniela something? she’s badass” you point out.

“dr. daniela star?” she asks, dumbfounded “she is one of my favorite characters!”

“you have great taste then” you chuckle at her enthusiasm and she smiles.

“oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.” did i say that out loud? you always make her feel so comfortable to be herself that she doesn’t realize what is actually coming out of her mouth.

“you could show me, then.” ellie’s not even sure what you are talking about anymore. her brain’s half-melted from the sound of your voice alone. “while we do the project, i would like to hear more about it.”

oh, righttttt. savage starlight. she nods, grinning. “just let me know if i get too carried away.”

you chuckle “i don’t think i would mind. but sure! when are you free to meet up and start it?”

“i’m free after class. i think my roomate won’t be around, so, if it’s okay with you, we can do it there.”

“sounds good, ellie” you smile. and she nearly passes out at her name leaving your lips. “can you give me your number? so we can talk about the details”

shit. shitshitshit. “umm… my number?” she chuckles, nervously. you nod, unaware that you already have it. “i d-don’t have it” she blurts out.

“you don’t have… a phone?” you frown, confused.

oh god kill me now. “yeah! i mean- no! i mean, i do, i just broke it so… it’s broken! very broken.”

“oh… makes sense now” you laugh.

it echoes in her head over and over. what a beautiful sound.

“yeah… but you can go there, like, around 3? i’ll be waiting for you.“

“sure! i’ll be there.”

she smiles at yours words. “great. my dorm’s number is 333.”

tidying up her part of the room was hard. not that she wasn’t organized… well that’s actually the case. don’t get her wrong: ellie hates dirty things. she’s very clean. but when it comes to organizing? it gets messy.

there were a lot of comics spread on her desk, her bed… even one lost in the bathroom. her action figures? everywhere. her roomate, lila, would complain about it all the time. but really, what wouldn’t she complain about?

there were even some papers on the other bed that she just throw into her roomie’s drawer, making sure to put everything in its place. she also made sure that things were clean.

she put the dirty clothes basket into the closet, just to make sure you wouldn’t see it and organized her shelves full of books, comics and action figures.

and you? well, there you are. dorm 333. at 3 p.m. you take a deep breath, watching the wooden door, like it’s going to knock on itself. you don’t even know why you are so nervous. you are just going to start your project. relax, damn.

taking a deep breath, you knock. from the other side of the door, ellie murmurs a rushed ‘shit’ and tries to compose herself. when she opens it, you take in her figure. her auburn mullet is half up, she is wearing a black tight long sleeved top and grey sweatpants. minecraft socks on her feet.

she looks so good you have to stop yourself from staring and looking like a creep. her toned arms can be noticed due to the tight fabric of the shirt, hugging them perfectly, and you feel dizzy. gladly, you snap out of it “hi! nice socks”

ellie laughs, cheeks blushing slightly. crap, i forgot those were on. “yeah, well, i am very stylish. as you can see.” she gives you some space, gesturing for you to come in.

“of course. you gotta remember me when you become the it girl on new york’s fashion week.” you tease.

she scoffs, playfully. like i could ever forget about you. you just stare at each other for a second and she rubs the back of her neck, nervous. “i’d lose my mind with all that attention.”

like she’s almost doing right now, alone with you. your attention is all on her. “you don’t like attention, huh?” you chuckle, looking around her dorm.

it’s so easy to say which half is hers. the wall is full of posters, from nirvana to savage starlight ones. her bed is kind of messy, the fuzzy spider-man blanket all wrinkled.

“depends on who’s attention i’m getting.” her tone is… silky, but it hits you hard and you look at her face. there’s a hint of a smirk on her lips. a shiver runs down your spine. is she flirting with me?

did i just flirt with her?! she facepalms herself mentally, plopping down on her bed while she holds your gaze, trying to look nonchalant. but she is not. her brain is almost turning off. she’s fidgeting her fingers.

“only selected people have the honour of you liking their attention, then?” you chuckle, seating next to her. your thighs brush and ellie swears she might pass out.

her knee bounces once before she catches herself. stop it. act normal. you are warm and she can feel it even with your clothes’s fabric in the way. “you could say that.” she grabs her laptop, putting it on her lap.

“am i one of them?” you ask, teasingly. her heart nearly stops. she didn’t expect you to be so bold. but she likes it. a lot. her grip on the electronic device tightens, but you don’t notice.

what you notice is how her already pink-tinted cheeks darken even more. you like the effect you have on her. isn’t it funny how miller didn’t even cross your mind, not even once? well, that is until you spot a sick habit cd on her desk.

“oh my god!” you say as you get up and she thanks the universe for not having to answer to your question. she would stutter so hard. “you like them too?”

she watched you, smiling at your enthusiasm. after all, she is the one who recommended them to you. “i love them. they are my favorite band.”

“you are really… something else, ellie.” your words are genuine. you just think she is so cool. and cute. and pretty. and just… not afraid to be herself? like, using minecraft socks or reading comic books during class. telling you how the song you were listening to was good.

if ellie knew you perceived her that way, she would go crazy. how can you see herself for what she truly is when all she does is try to stay low and not catch anyone’s attention in college? how can you understand her when you know how she is outside of that place too?

“have you met you?” is all she manages to say. from admiring you from her seat since she saw you for the first time in class, to really getting to know you, she couldn’t help herself. she was really falling for you, deeper and deeper. im fucked.

you smile widely at her. like you did earlier in class, when she sent you the playlist. her heart aches on her chest. you put the cd on the player, and ‘of two minds’ by sick habit starts to play.

“it’ll be more fun if we do it listening to them, don’t you think?” you tilt your head slightly, asking her. you sit next to her on her bed again.

she couldn’t say no to you. not when you were right there, next to her. not when she could feel your thigh against hers. not when she could sense the smell of your shampoo. “definitely.“

“i told you i wanted you to show me how great your taste is. didn’t i?”

the innuendo in your sentence makes her shiver. the tension in the room is palpable. almost too much to bare. you smirk. when you do, her breath hitches in her throat. “ain’t i showing you enough?” she murmurs, hoping that you would say no.

it lingers between you. this feeling, this moment. your closeness. which seems to be increasing by each second. you get lost into her green eyes. they are so… familiar.

she moves her hand towards your face, hesitantly. when it cups you cheek, you lean into her touch. her fingers are calloused, but the way they caress your skin is soft. there isn’t a second where your eyes leave hers, or hers leave yours.

her heart is racing so fast. she wanted to do that for so long. to feel your skin, to touch you. to have you this close. to see your eyes sparkling at her, the way it does now. at her, truly. not at her in the cd shop where you think she’s a guy. it feels surreal.

until her dorm’s door is yanked open and her roomate barges in, startling both of you. as you get away from each other, lila doesn’t even look at you, apparently looking for something on her bed.

hiding your frustration, you just keep quiet. you almost kissed ellie. should you feel bad? because you really don’t. yes you’ve been talking to someone… flirting with him. exchanging playlists. but it’s nothing serious yet. right?

ellie sighs “what the fuck, lila?” she puts her laptop down on the bed, a hand in her heart as she recovers from it. from you.

“i forgot my essay. shit, where is it? did you touch what was on my bed, ellie?” her rude tone made you frown.

“yeah, it’s in your drawer.” she gets up to open the drawer she referred to, but the other girl rushes in and opens it herself.

“don’t ever touch my things again.” lila says, grabbing her papers and slamming the door when she leaves.

there’s a beat of silence.

“she’s so lovely.” you say, breaking the ice. ellie laughs, coming back to her bed, next to you. she’s so pretty when she laughs.

“yeah, um, i didn’t think she would show up. sorry about that…”

you squeeze her shoulder gently, as if to comfort her. “it’s not your fault. don’t worry.”

her anxieties crumble when you do that. she takes a deep breath, trying not to focus on your touch so much. she smiles at you. “right. for the project, um, have you made the first part?”

as you started talking about the project and what you had in mind for it, both of you tried ignoring the tension that never seemed to fade away. every excuse you had for touching each other was being taking advantage of.

like when you showed her some references of what you thought would be good, leaning closer to her to show it on the laptop’s screen. or when she asked you for one of your colorful markers to sketch something in her journal and her touch on your finger lingered for a little longer.

not to mention the way you were staring at each other, the eye contact almost making you go insane. the little shy chuckles that left your mouths. ellie needed to breathe or else she would do something stupid.

every second she spent next to you, every glance you threw her way, every accidental brush of your hands. it was like something was being carved into her, slowly, softly, permanently.

and when you laughed at one of her dumb jokes about how the main character in savage starlight would be a terrible film director, she couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

you made her feel like she was in orbit, like everything else was just distant starlight, and you were the only thing real and glowing.

at some point, the work stopped being the focus. pages sat open, notes abandoned mid-sentence. the music played on, faintly into the background, the sound of your heartbeats louder to your ears.

you caught her staring again and she looked away quickly, biting her lip. "you are really bad at pretending you're not staring" you teased softly.

ellie choked on a laugh "says you."

you grinned, leaning back on your hands, your thigh still pressed to hers. “fair enough.”

another silence. not a bad one. just a moment where you both are too lost on each other and at the growing feeling that makes your stomaches twist. in the dim light of her dorm, she aches at the way you shine at her.

“hey, um, i am gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” she announces. you nod, briefly looking up at her and flashing her a smile.

her sleeves were pushed up slightly and you could see something on her right arm. her inked skin. you were not sure what the drawing was, but it was definitely a tattoo. sometimes you thought about how many similarities she has with… no. stop, you are being crazy.

you rest against the wall, still sitting on the same spot of her bed. you run your hand through the fuzzy blanket to ground yourself. but it accidentaly touches something hard under her pillow. you frown.

deciding to see what it is, you lift the pillow and you see it. her phone. the broken one? doesn’t seem broken at all. what if im not being crazy? is the question that keeps popping in your head.

those were just… coincidences. right? you didn’t even see ellie’s full tattoo. many people gets tattoos on their right arm! that’s normal. and her eyes… well miller is not the only person allowed to have green eyes. obviously.

you shouldn’t be checking her phone. it’s her personal stuff. but you do. you click the button on its right side and the screen lits up. there’s a song already halfway through. it’s paused. you recognize it, ‘californication’ by red hot chili peppers.

it’s a banger. everybody listen to it, don’t they? so what if you put that into the playlist you made for miller? it doesn’t mean anything.

until it does. when you skip to the next song, it’s ‘pour some sugar on me’ by def leppard. the next one? ‘cherry waves’ by deftones. no…

you are on the verge of breaking down. you open your spotify, searching for the playlist. your fingers tremble as you click on it. you check the order. it’s the same. it can’t be.

you skip again. ‘even flow’ by pearl jam. the first tear falls. you go backwards, seeing if the song before californication is what you think it is. you check it on your phone first.

then, you touch the button to the previous song on her phone. ‘heart-shaped box’ by nirvana. that’s all the confirmation you need.

so many feelings rush through your body. it’s overwhelming. embarassment, betrayal, humiliation… it’s too much. the tension snapped and took you with it.

as ellie finishes cleaning her face and taking deep breaths, she hears some noises. she can’t identify what they are. so she opens the door to her room.

you are not there anymore. what is, though? her phone. what is this doing here? i though i hid-

that’s when she knows. you found out.

previous next

taglist!

thank you for the support babes, hope you like it 💘

@vahnilla @liztreez @hyperbabes @lybbay @coeurcanelle @desiretolive @b1uecatt @moonystoes @eriiwaiii2 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @uraesthete @machetegirl109 @snuffphiliaa @robinphobia @na0koz @ellies-real-wife @vivzzi @wtvm0m0 @lesoulew @violetszn

[loovser]

gotta say tho, chapter 3 is my favorite so far 🙂‍↕️

[loovser]

julia nome de brasileira… vou falar até em português pq se for, vamos ser web amigas?

oiiii amor vms!!!!

[loovser]

better than cake

synopsis: during thanksgiving, you had an argument with tommy. thankfully, ellie is there to make you feel better.

wc: 1,7k

cw: nsfw, dom!ellie x sub!reader, fingering + oral (r!receiving), praise, cursing, licking/sucking fingers, use of pet names (doll, baby), brief mentions of weed. 18+ mdni smut.

the room is quiet. you couldn’t even hear the muffled voices anymore — it’s like they were never there to begin with. it finally brings you the peace and relief you were looking for.

today it’s thanksgiving. it’s a day when you are supposed to be grateful and enjoy your friends and family’s company. and you tried to. tommy and maria had invited joel, ellie, jesse, dina and their parents over to your house, for lunch.

you dressed up nicely, putting on clothes that you really liked. you felt good about it. you were having a good time, even managed to sit next to ellie. she is one of your dearest friends and… well. you have a huge crush on her.

but then, it happened. tommy wanted you to stop going on patrols and he brought it up during lunch. you engaged in a heated argument with him, telling him how it wasn’t fair. you get it, he was worried about you. but there isn’t any other way of learning how to deal with the world if you don’t really experience it.

however, he said something that hurt you deeply. about how you would get yourself and others killed because of your recklessness. fighting back the tears, you excused yourself from lunch and ran upstairs, to your room.

which is where you are until now, hungry and lonely. but you needed some time alone. it frustrates you, really, how one bad decision during patrol has been taunting you for so long. you’ve learnt from it. he is your father and should have some more faith in you.

a soft knock on the door makes you snap out of your thoughts. you sigh, thinking it is tommy. “look, dad, i’m not in the mood-“

“it’s ellie.” she cuts you off. you can almost hear the smirk in her voice. it makes you wonder how much raspier it could get.

“it’s unlocked. come in”

and she does. her auburn hair, which was half tied up, is now loose. it falls prettily, in a mullet.

“you thought i was your daddy?” she teases, her smirk getting wider when you blush.

“shut up.” you laugh.

then you see it — the little plate in her hands. there’s a slice of peach cake on it. your favorite. your mom always bakes it for thanksgiving.

“did she tell you to bring it to me?” you ask, curiously.

“who? maria?” you nod and she chuckles. “no. i know you like it, so… i brought it.”

it hits you like a train. the way she says it so genuinely. like it was natural for her to do so, to know you so well. you smile. she smiles back, getting closer to where you are.

your room isn't very big — cozy and cute, some would say it suits you perfectly. it has some posters of things you like. a big, comfortable bed. a vanity that you love, some book shelves.

there were plenty of times in which you and ellie would get high there, together. it was a secret you would share. no one else knew you smoked weed and honestly? you just liked doing it with her.

she puts the plate on your lap, her hand brushing on your thigh, making you shiver. thankfully, she doesn’t feel it through the fabric of your clothes.

“since you didn’t really have anything. this is the only thing i could bring, so eat it.” she murmurs, almost shyly.

it’s cute when she does something like this to you. she always gets flustered and avoids your gaze — just like she is doing now.

“have you tried it yet?” you ask, grabbing the fork and eating a piece of the cake.

“no. you know i’m not really into sweets.” she shrugs.

the peach is so fresh that when you bite into it, the juice runs down your chin.

“careful there…” ellie says, her voice a little rougher.

when you look up at her, she is already staring at you. there’s something in her gaze, something familiar. something that makes a shiver crawl down your spine.

she leans closer, thumb brushing your chin, wiping the juice away — and then she licks it clean.

you almost gasp, but you manage to keep it together.

“i thought you weren’t into sweets?” you smirk, teasingly.

“smartass. there are a few that i really enjoy.” her lips quiver as she says that.

“you haven’t tried the cake to know if you like it or not…” you insist and she laughs.

“you are right, i haven’t. should i?” she grabs the little plate from your lap, hands lingering on your thighs for a little longer than they should.

“yeah… you might like it” it’s all you manage to say, enticed by the way she’s looking at you. like she’s hungry, or even… starved.

“there’s another way i could taste it, you know?” her voice is low as she puts the cake away. you know what she means. but you want to hear it from her.

“which way would that be, ellie?” her green eyes suddenly darken.

“why would i tell you when i can show you?” it’s all you hear before her lips crash into yours.

they move hungrily, confidently. like she thought about it before, more than once. like she knew how she wanted to kiss you. and you give the same want back to her, your lips following hers just as needy.

her hand tugs at your hair and you moan into the kiss, which seems to fuel her even more. she sits beside you, thigh brushing yours, and you swear your heart skips. then she tugs you gently, guiding you into her lap without breaking it. it’s rough and passionate, like you’ve both been keeping those feelings buried and now that they are free, the longing and desire are being poured into it without hesitation.

your fingers tangle into her hair as her tongue explores your mouth with fervour, her own hands traveling down your back and gripping your ass. you can already feel the heat pooling in your panties and it makes you wonder if she’s in the same state that you are. though when she lets out a soft whimper against your tongue, you can tell that she is.

and when her hands squeeze your ass, you gasp. you feel she smirking at the sound, as she breaks the kiss to catch her breath.

“you were right. i like it.” she teases, her forehead against yours.

you chuckle, panting. your breaths mingle and everything feels too hot. but it gets worse when she moves her kisses to your neck. you feel like you might combust at any moment.

“you could taste something else…” you murmur, voice shaky, already half-lost in the way her tongue flicks on your sensitive skin, how her teeth graze against it. nipping, then biting. marking you as hers.

“oh, yeah? is that so?”

she trails kisses down to your collarbone as you confirm, caressing her scalp. “mhm”

“what is it? use your words, doll.” she bites harder in your skin.

“els, please… eat me out.” there’s no time to be embarrassed about it, not when she’s already taking your clothes off and settling in between your legs.

“so pretty… especially when you beg.” her breath is fanning over your cunt and it almost makes you squirm in your spot.

she teases, getting closer to where you need her the most. you know she wants to hear you beg again, by the way she shoots her eyebrows up, grinning.

“please… ellie, please.” you give in.

she slides a finger through your folds, letting out an approving hum. “so wet. all for me, yeah?”

you nod eagerly “yes. all for you.”

with that, she licks a long stripe from your soaked entrance all the way to your clit. you let out a whimper, melting against her tongue. “fuck, you taste so good, baby” she purrs. you can’t take your eyes off her and neither can she. she dives into your pussy, making it impossible for you to talk while she sucks and kisses you. like this is the best meal she’s ever had. she’s too good at it, it’s unfair.

all you can do is relish the feeling of her tongue on your sensitive flesh, sucking your clit and your folds. your hands find her hair, pushing her harder into you, drawing a moan from her mouth into your cunt.

“oh, shit, els! don’t stop!” you moan out, having her right where you want her and she groans, sliding a finger inside you.

“won’t stop until you cum for me. doing so good, baby.” she coos.

your hips grind against her face and her fingers before you can even think about it, seeking your release. when she slides another finger, all that leaves your mouth are whimpers, cries and incoherent words.

“thaaaaat’s it,” she says, pussydrunk. all she can focus on is tasting and pleasuring you “use me. show me how good it feels.” everything she says makes you closer and closer to the edge. no one has ever fucked you like this before, you can’t even talk properly.

she curls her fingers, hitting that spongy spot. you can see stars as she turns you into a babble mess. “can’t talk, hm? feels that good? fucking take it.”

her tone is teasing and demanding. it makes you crazy.

“i’m-“ you clench around her and she feels it, her own thighs pressing together, unconsciously.

“i know, baby.” she cuts you off, pumping her fingers harder as she sucks your clit. “cum f’me, i got you.”

and you do. that familiar knot in your stomach snaps as your orgasm washes over you. her name leaving your lips like a prayer as she rides out your high.

You're still breathless when she pulls her fingers out, leaving you clenching around nothing. before you can say anything, she sucks them clean.

“that’s much better than peach cake.” she murmurs, as she presses a kiss to your inner thigh, lingering there as your breathing slows. you laugh, light-headed and aching, as she curls up beside you.

i knooooow we are not anywhere near thanksgiving but i love the whole vibe it brings so i just had to do it! hope you like it 💘