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[lovelifelament]

Last Goodbye

At the epitome of learning,

We are but children in flux,

Making notions of life and yearning,

Find your love, have a life and make a few bucks.

Age takes the physical and decays,

In the same way it grows the spiritual,

Strange tactics that life portrays,

Learning, growing for a death ritual.

Passing the knowledge from generation,

Making crude copies of oral tradition,

Inspiring great innovation,

Only to make the great transition.

Life offers only one truth,

You will surely die,

A balance that doesn't soothe,

No matter how hard we try.

Out of this desperation we understand,

The moments in life passed away,

The awful and the grand,

The loyalty and the betray.

A system of inhereted knowledge, broken,

A feeling of unique and sameness, mixed,

No guiding book or sacred token,

Always our fate conflicts.

And when we're all gone?

Did it mean anything?

Will our legacy live on?

Will there be something to hear our ring?

Death will surely call your name,

And to it you will surely fly,

Love in the moment, enjoy the game,

For you may not wake for a last goodbye.

[lovelifelament]

Matters of the Heart

You have me in a hold,

Like a drug in my veins,

I should have known, I’d been told,

Addicted and weak, I don’t have the reigns.

My heart is guiding this midnight train,

Leading me where I shouldn’t go,

Close enough to feel the strain,

Too far to reap what I sow.

I can’t give it up,

I don’t want to leave,

I want to fill my cup,

I want to be intrigued.

My mind says this is insane,

My heart says fuck my brain.

[lovelifelament]

A New Deal

A heart of gold,

Bought and sold,

No risk, what's the harm?

Traded, bartered, sold the farm,

Made a choice, took a leap

Fell too hard, in too deep,

Sold too cheap,

Sowed what I reap.

Am I too far gone?

Too far out to hear the gong?

In so deep I can't move?

Stuck always in a looping groove?

Brushing the dust off,

Looking aloft,

Counting the stars,

Mending my scars.

Back to reality,

And it's malleability,

Turn the potter's wheel,

Out to make a new deal.

One that's right for me,

One for me to just be,

One that won't leave me in tatters,

Deals of the heart aren't easy matters.

[lovelifelament]

Seasons In Love

In the dead of winter you found me,

Cold and all alone,

With every move you bound me,

You seemed to ring with my tone.

In the spring you loved me,

Enjoying the newness of life,

I melted when you hugged me,

You eased my pain and lessened the strife.

In the summer you played with me,

A feeling in the air,

Breezes soft and warm washed over me,

I'd fallen in love and didn't care.

In the fall you distanced me,

Cut off like the falling leaves,

Our love fell short,

Slowly dying like the summer trees.

And in the cold of winter you ended me,

A forgotten, regretted mistake,

I realize you're no friend to me,

The snow begins with a single flake.

[lovelifelament]

Why This Exists

Too often I sit, usually alone with something strong, thinking about my life and how screwed up it can be at times. How often I get slighted, short handed and just plain out treated like garbage. The feelings inside rip me apart sometimes, the not knowing in life and love, the anxiety of, well, a lot of things, and more often than not, why I exist. Do I exist? Is this all a fantasy world, a delusion? Or maybe still, I do exist but life (as we know it) is an accident of cosmic proportions? Or, could it be, life has purpose but we’re not advanced enough to see the why life started in the first place?

It usually leads down a rabbit hole of how odd the world can be, theories of life’s purpose and my purpose. I don’t understand why I’m here. I only understand what I can perceive. My perception of life, as much that can be backed by proven beliefs, is that we are here and can only understand what is perceived correctly.

This leads to a general thought of religion (which is another can of worms), the uniqueness and sustainability of life on Earth, and that being a part of it is something to be marveled. Savoring life and ruminating in its experiences feels right and true. Sharing these experiences beyond myself seems like a good way to add to the enrichment and knowledge of others.

These experiences, emotions and thoughts are unique to me but only in style. Collectively we all have some bits of wonderment of life and all of it’s norms and taboos. We search to find ourselves, feeling only as if we don’t quite fit into the circle. Each of us is a single piece in a larger, intertwined thought bubble.

Needing a release from these feelings, or maybe the experience of sharing them, will help others along their journey, as Maya Angelou once called it, land of strange humors.